essay on importance of forgiveness

Why is Forgiveness Important?

Scroll down to find out more on the importance of forgiveness and how it can neutralize anger and resentment.

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This Article Contains

How can forgiveness free us from anger, the relationship between forgiveness and healing, self-forgiveness and the value of forgiving yourself, why forgiving others is the best thing you can do for yourself, forgiveness and compassion, gratitude and forgiveness, a take-home message.

Negative life events, if significant enough, can get encoded in memory and often cause us to have physical reactions to remembering the painful experience. From the perspective of psychological research holding a grudge is considered an “imagined emotional response” (Witvliet, Ludwig, & Laan, 2001).

This would suggest that one must fuel the negative emotions in order to sustain them over a long period of time. For example, vengeful thoughts that embellish and describe the event with contempt only intensify the emotional imagery and physiological experience.

There is research, however, that shows the desire for revenge to be in some instances stronger than empathic motivation, especially in men. Participants in a Singer and Lamm’s study did not respond with empathy toward a person that was suffering, especially when they felt the person deserved punishment (2009).

One moment of anger can wipe out a lifetime of merit.

Interventions such as perspective-taking that result in empathetic compassion can help one in overcoming anger and resentment.

This cultivation of empathy involves connecting to the common humanity between oneself and the offender as well as trying to see the situation from the other person’s perspective and attempting to understand what might have contributed to the behavior that caused one harm (Witvliet et al., 2001).

Many argue that empathy should be cultivated early on through forgiveness education. When inner turmoil ensues in adulthood, it may be tough to find our way to forgiveness if we’ve never practiced it before.

It is very much like asking someone who has never worked out to run a marathon. Many believe that children and adolescents should begin learning at a young age what forgiveness is and how people go about forgiving.

Teaching forgiveness is especially important to help reduce anger in children who have suffered injustice sufficient enough to compromise their emotional health.

Forgiveness can also help students, now and later as adults, forge stable and meaningful relationships without anger causing discord and division.

Finally, forgiveness can play a big part in how communities thrive when people begin to see more deeply the inherent worth of others.

Cultivating forgiveness is important because there are senseless crimes committed in a fit of anger where one brief moment can alter the course of many lives. People whose lives are affected by these crimes may not have the ability to forgive, thereby contributing to more resentment and anger in the world.

The message of the Dalai Lama in his book Healing Anger sees human ability to inflict harm on oneself and others as part of human nature, where some individuals are more prone to it than others (1997).

He explains that some acts of violence are committed out of ignorance or carelessness. Yet others are prompted by circumstances. All of which are presented as outside of a person’s control when one’s mental, emotional or circumstantial conditions are concerned.

In light of this perspective, he suggests that it becomes pointless to hold it against those who hurt themselves or injure others.

Forgiveness can neutralize anger and resentment. The Dalai Lama suggests that the best way to deal with continually getting angry after being wronged by another person is to see them from a different angle and see that perhaps they still have positive qualities.

He also suggests that the negative events can be a source of opportunities otherwise not possible, a form of re-framing toward the positive (Dalai Lama, 1997).

Generating universal compassion is another way of dealing with anger that aids in cultivating forgiveness and can be accomplished through reflecting on how we are all connected because we all share in the experience of pain and all wish to overcome suffering.

The Dalai Lama reminds us that cultivating “ acceptance of harm and injuries inflicted by others ” is a form of patience and tolerance and can be practiced alongside an appreciation of the complexity of human condition and nature of reality (Dalai Lama, 1997).

Buddhist approach to anger and resentment suggests that cultivating the virtue of forgiveness is closely tied to developing practices of patience and tolerance. These forms of practice encompass cultivation of mindfulness and wisdom, giving or generosity, as well as honesty and sincerity.

The English language has no equivalent in meaning to the word patience as an internal strength. Buddhist tradition, however, recognizes many different aspects of patience ( sopa ) and speaks to how these concepts relate to each other, namely:

• resilience,
• forgiveness,
• tolerance and

Buddhist tradition also distinguishes between different kinds of patience depending on the context: the patience of not retaliating, the patience of accepting hardship, and patience of accepting reality.

The Dalai Lama also encourages us to contemplate our impermanence which allows us to have more appreciation for the time we have. Reflecting on impermanence can give us a sense of perspective and urgency and allow us to see human potential and the value of our existence.

He reminds us that the tendency to rehearse after being hurt is common, but reliving the pain and suffering is optional. If we consider the explanation that resentment is considered “ a commitment to remain angry (or to resume anger periodically) ” holding a grudge seems to be an equivalent of cultivating anger (Dalai Lama, 1997).

The Dalai Lama proposes that instead we either develop a sense of indifference towards the aggressor or further develop compassion for those who are afflicted with such tendencies. He believes that practicing awareness of the nature of suffering can help one develop the ability to connect to other people’s pain.

The practice of loving-kindness and other positive states is one application of this wisdom to a difficult situation.

The Dalai Lama also suggests that with the help of humility and patience one can resist the urge to retaliate and counteract what he refers to as “ deluded states of mind .” Finally, his Holiness suggests that we take it a step further by deliberately familiarizing ourselves with the nature of suffering so we can become more tolerant of it.

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Studies show that being an object of transgression can be a significant cause for developing depression and that practicing forgiveness can alleviate feelings of anger, avoidance and vengeful-ness that lead to negative consequences in one’s emotional and physical health as well as relationships (Brown, 2003; McCullough et al., 1998).

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Steven Wright

Cultivating forgiveness as a means for neutralizing anger and resentment can be a form of coping strategy, while deliberate replacement of negative feelings with positive emotions can become a form of personal transformation that can lead to emotional healing.

Interventions such as perspective taking, benefit finding, connecting to the greater good, cultivating empathy, and neutralizing hostility can help one in overcoming anger and resentment (Witvliet et al., 2001; Worthington & Scherer, 2004).

Forgiving responses like developing feelings of empathy and granting forgiveness can reduce arousal, negative emotions, and stress responses.

One study found that letting go and adopting a merciful attitude toward the offender contributed to fewer cardiovascular and immune system problems (Witvliet et al., 2001).

Other studies found forgiveness to be positively associated with five measures of health:

• physical symptoms,
• medications used,
• sleep quality,
• fatigue, and
• somatic complaints (McCullough, Sandage, & Worthington, 1997; McCullough & Worthington, 1994; Thoresen, Harris, & Luskin, 2000).

According to the Mayo Clinic, deliberate letting go of negative emotions, particularly those that are strong and have been linked to forgiveness brings with it plenty of health benefits, including improved relationships, decreased anxiety and stress, lower blood pressure, a lowered risk of depression, and stronger immune and heart health.

Letting go of negative emotions can often have a remarkable impact on the body.

Self-forgiveness is an important aspect of one’s ability to forgive others, in the same way as self-compassion is crucial to one’s predisposition to be compassionate toward other human beings.

Being kind to yourself and forgiving of your own shortcomings can give us much needed perspective on suffering and imperfections of others.

It allows us to connect to others on the level of common humanity and can often be a humbling experience when evaluating what motivates other people’s behavior.

Studies in conflict resolution show that we tend to invent intentions for others when in most situations we know only our half of the story.

Self-forgiveness has been defined as “a willingness to abandon self-resentment in the face of one’s acknowledged objective wrong, while fostering compassion, generosity, and love toward oneself ” (Enright, 1996, p. 116).

Wenzel, Woodyatt, and Hedrick (2012) argued that self-forgiveness is best understood as a process by which we sever the negative link between taking responsibility and positive self-regard, which is a process that Holmgren (1998) referred to as genuine self-forgiveness.

The scope of psychological research on self-forgiveness to date has examined it across a range of contexts. Self-forgiveness has been related to:

• drug and alcohol addiction or use (Gueta, 2013; McGaffin, Lyons, & Deane, 2013),
• mothering (Gueta, 2013),
• smoking (Wohl & Thompson, 2011),
• gambling (Squires, Sztainert, Gillen, Caouette, & Wohl, 2012), and
• disordered eating (Peterson et al., 2017).

Although the impact of self-forgiveness in different contexts have varied from study to study, forgiveness has been studied in population groups including:

• cancer patients (Toussaint, Barry, Bornfriend, & Markman, 2014),
• people living with HIV/AIDS (Mudgal & Tiwari, 2015),
• military service members (Bryan, Theriault, & Bryan, 2015),
• hypersexual disorder patients (Hook et al., 2015), and
• complex trauma survivors (Worthington & Langberg, 2012).

According to Enright and Fitzgibbons (2015), self-forgiveness entails releasing negative emotions directed at oneself and involves a meaningful interpretation and successful resolution of negative emotions or attitudes directed at oneself.

Self-forgiveness also entails fostering of positive emotions directed toward oneself; and the definition of self-forgiveness not only included the abandoning of self-directed negative emotion, but also the increase in positive or benevolent emotion like compassion , generosity, and love toward the self (Enright & Fitzgibbons 2015).

We can examine self-forgiveness in its many facets as:

• a response to guilt and shame ,
• a step toward processing transgressions,
• a means of reducing anxiety, and
• an essential component of, or under some circumstances a barrier to, psychotherapeutic intervention.

Self-forgiveness as an applied discipline relates to diverse psychosocial contexts such as:

• addiction and recovery,
• couples and families,
• healthy aging,
• the workplace, and
• the military.

Although productive self-criticism is crucial to personal improvement after moral or another failure, it is important to understand the emotions of shame, humiliation, and guilt frequently associated with it.

These self-conscious emotions relate to either competitive or caring motivational systems and understanding these suggests that self-forgiveness will operate very differently depending on the emotions and motivations to which it relates.

The table below shows distinctions between shame, humiliation, and guilt.

Adapted from P. Gilbert (2010)  Compassion Focused Therapy

Adapted from P. Gilbert (2009) The Compassionate Mind

Self-forgiveness has significant implications for relationships and couple and family therapy, particularly when going through the challenges of a rupture due to an offense.

Self-forgiveness is an integrative process within a person in which the self that committed the wrongdoing is acknowledged, accepted, and provided the opportunity to move forward.

The theoretical concepts of attachment, differentiation of self (DoS), and intersubjectivity must be considered to create an integrative relational process of self-forgiveness where we can anticipate the common barriers to the process.

Loren Toussaint, an associate professor of psychology at Luther College in Iowa, discovered that if people were highly forgiving of both themselves and others, that characteristic alone virtually eliminated the connection between stress and mental illness.

Toussaint reminds us that without forgiveness we don’t have a buffer against stress and often will feel its raw effects. Even something as seemingly insignificant as a short prayer or a brief meditation on forgiveness can help people take the edge off (Toussaint, Kamble, Marschall, & Duggi, 2016).

Worthington and Scherer (2004) found that unforgiveness, when considered as a negative emotional and cognitive construct, causes stress.

Inability to forgive was also linked to anger and hostility, and those negative tendencies have proven to have a negative health effect, especially with regard to cardiovascular conditions.

If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.

Marcus Aurelius

Although dwelling on injustice, holding onto grudges and exacting vengeance are tempting options, study after study shows that forgiving those who have harmed us can systematically reduce distress and increase satisfaction with life.

Several studies linked forgiveness to more positive emotions and fewer symptoms of physical illness. One study found that forgiving on one day resulted in participants reporting higher levels of happiness on the next day (Witvliet et al., 2001; Worthington & Scherer, 2004).

Forgiving was also found to be an effective emotion-focused coping strategy that could contribute to overall health and was also linked to more frequent experiences of positive emotions of empathy and compassion.

Positive emotions, in turn, have been linked to well-being as in Barbara Frederickson’s broaden-and-build theory that suggests that increase in positive emotion improves cognitive abilities and relational skills, and had long term health effect measured through longevity studies (2004).

Social neuroscience found credible evidence that empathy, defined as being able to feel the pain of another in contrast to sympathy, compassion or emphatic concern, is in fact physiologically represented as automatic correlations in brain activity between the person suffering and one empathizing.

Singer and Lamm (2009, p. 81) tell us that “ consistent evidence shows that sharing the emotions of others is associated with activation in neural structures that are also active during the first-hand experience of that emotion. Part of the neural activation shared between self- and other-related experiences seems to be rather automatically activated. ”

The empathizer’s response can be amplified or inhibited depending on the context and relationship of those involved, as well as the perspective of the one who empathizes (Singer & Lamm, 2009).

This tendency also has been referred to as “ mirror neurons ” and lands significant support to the Buddhist teachings that claim that love and compassion are grounded in “ experience and in reality ” (Dalai Lama, 1997).

The role of empathy and apology in the process of forgiveness as well as their link to each other were based on the hypotheses that “ the relationship between receiving an apology from and forgiving one’s offender is a function of increased empathy for the offender ” in a study done by McCullough and colleagues (McCullough, Worthington, & Rachal, 1997).

Specifically, they presented a model of forgiveness based on the levels of empathy experienced by the victim toward the transgressor.

Interpersonal forgiveness in close relationships was defined as a motivational transformation where a person was less likely to retaliate and avoid and more inclined towards reconciliation and goodwill. Empathy toward the offending partner was found to be a key condition that facilitated forgiveness (McCullough, Worthington, & Rachal, 1997).

These findings were also consistent and supported by Gottman’s research on the role of shared history and positive attachment in the wellbeing of a close relationship (Lisitsa, 2013).

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned.

Scholars from contemplative traditions, however, have raised concern for science’s reduction of emotions and mental states to mere neural activities and argued against the methodology that relies heavily on the correlates of neural activities to determine nebulous concepts such as empathy and other mental states.

The Dalai Lama reminds us about the importance of patience and tolerance when cultivating a successful practice of love and compassion and that opportunities to combat anger should be welcomed as enhancement of one’s practice.

He even suggests that one should be grateful towards the one that hurt us, although many may find that to be an advanced example of the benefit finding approach to forgiveness.

The suggestions for cultivating patience and reframing experience into gratitude towards the offender would have to be a form of “extreme” positive psychology. It is hard to imagine a person to be capable of unconditional forgiveness without introducing some form of significant spiritual practice.

Initially developed by Goldstein in 2015, the S.A.F.E. self-compassion exercise aims to ease an agitated mind.

In challenging times, this method helps shift you from automatic reactions, enabling you to accept your emotions as they occur, identify your genuine needs, and appreciate the shared human experience of your difficulties.

The S.A.F.E. acronym stands for:

• Soften : Surrender to the sensation. Inhale deeply and accept the presence of the emotion. What emotion are you experiencing? Where is it most prominent in your body?
• Allow : Accept the emotion without judgment. Inhale and exhale, embracing the feeling without resistance or attachment. Simply allow it to exist.
• Feel : Pay gentle attention to the emotion and explore your needs. Examine the feeling. What does it make you think about yourself? What does it require at this moment?
• Expand : Broaden your consciousness to include others who grapple with this emotion. Realize that you are part of a larger human experience. Everyone faces hardships and makes errors. You are not isolated in this emotional state. Let this realization bring you comfort.

Practicing gratitude has been consistently linked to greater wellbeing in a study done by Emmons and McCullough, where it was measured by mood, coping behaviors, health behaviors, physical symptoms, and overall life satisfaction appraisals (Emmons & McCullough, 2003).

Positive affect had the most significant results in terms of increase but only when gratitude was practiced with greater frequency. Gratitude was found to improve overall life satisfaction and increased feelings of optimism about the future, at least in the short term.

Gratitude contributed to fewer physical health complaints when gratitude was practiced once per week. When the gratitude practice was intensified to daily exercises, there was an increase in positive affect and pro-social behavior within the two-week study, and better sleep and better close relationships with the three-week intervention.

Emmons and McCullough speculated that emotional and interpersonal benefits may be a result of a conscious focus on blessings. Intense gratitude practice increased pro-social behavior and empathy as the subjects reported the instances of helping others (Emmons & McCullough, 2003).

Since gratitude has been linked to empathy and empathy was found to have implications for forgiveness, there is potential that fostering gratitude could improve one’s capacity toward forgiveness.

Therapies like Naikan focus on recalling what we have received from others, which as reflective practice is a form of gratitude.

As gratitude can be other-focused, this would imply that it can enhance a sense of greater connectedness to others, which in turn can lead to compassion and empathy, and down the road can create a fertile ground for cultivating forgiveness.

Finally, Richard Moore’s talk on the importance of gratitude in the cultivation of forgiveness is centered on gratefulness being a better approach to life in general. He believed that focus on what one has versus on what is missing can make all the difference, both in appreciation of what is as well as a form of coping mechanism with what has happened.

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The value and benefits of cultivating forgiveness are evident and start with us. Self-forgiveness is an important aspect of one’s ability to forgive others and can be a gateway to living a more fulfilled and loving life.

For more information on the benefits of forgiveness be sure to check our other articles on the topic, such as Forgiveness Exercises .

Thanks for reading and let us know below why forgiveness is important to you. I’d love to hear from you!

We hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don’t forget to download our three Emotional Intelligence Exercises for free .

• Brown, R. P. (2003). Measuring individual differences in the tendency to forgive: Construct validity and links with depression.  Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin ,  29 (6), 759-771.
• Bryan, A. O., Theriault, J. L., & Bryan, C. J. (2015). Self-forgiveness, posttraumatic stress, and suicide attempts among military personnel and veterans. Traumatology, 21 (1), 40-46.
• Dalai Lama. (1997). Healing anger: The power of patience from a Buddhist perspective. Snow Lion Publications.
• Emmons, R. A., & Mccullough, M. E. (2003). Counting blessings versus burdens: An experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology ,  84 (2), 377-389.
• Enright, R. D. (1996). Counseling within the forgiveness triad: On forgiving, receiving forgiveness, and self‐forgiveness.  Counseling and Values ,  40 (2), 107-126.
• Enright, R. D., & Fitzgibbons, R. P. (2015).  Forgiveness therapy: An empirical guide for resolving anger and restoring hope . American Psychological Association.
• Fredrickson, B. L. (2004). The broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions. Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society of London. Series B: Biological Sciences ,  359 (1449), 1367-1377.
• Gilbert, P. (2009).  The compassionate mind . Robinson.
• Gilbert, P. (2010). Compassion focused therapy: A special section.  International Journal of Cognitive Therapy, 3 (2), 95-96.
• Goldstein, E. (2015). Uncovering happiness: Overcoming depression with mindfulness and self-compassion . Simon and Schuster.
• Gueta, K. (2013). Self-forgiveness in the recovery of Israeli drug-addicted mothers: A qualitative exploration. Journal of Drug Issues, 43(4) , 450-467.
• Holmgren, M. R. (1998). Self-forgiveness and responsible moral agency.  The Journal of Value Inquiry ,  32 (1), 75-91.
• Hook, J. N., Farrell, J. E., Davis, D. E., Van Tongeren, D. R., Griffin, B. J., Grubbs, J., … & Bedics, J. D. (2015). Self-forgiveness and hypersexual behavior.  Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity ,  22 (1), 59-70.
• Lisitsa, E. (2013). An introduction to the Gottman Method of relationship therapy. The Gottman Institute.  Retrieved from https://www.gottman.com/blog/an-introduction-to-the-gottman-method-of-relationship-therapy/
• McCullough, M. E., Rachal, K. C., Sandage, S. J., Worthington Jr, E. L., Brown, S. W., & Hight, T. L. (1998). Interpersonal forgiving in close relationships: II. Theoretical elaboration and measurement.  Journal of Personality and Social Psychology ,  75 (6), 1586-1603.
• McCullough, M. E., Sandage, S. J., & Worthington Jr, E. L. (1997).  To forgive is human: How to put your past in the past . InterVarsity Press.
• McCullough, M. E., & Worthington Jr, E. L. (1994). Models of interpersonal forgiveness and their applications to counseling: Review and critique.  Counseling and Values ,  39 (1), 2-14.
• McCullough, M. E., Worthington Jr, E. L., & Rachal, K. C. (1997). Interpersonal forgiving in close relationships.  Journal of Personality and Social Psychology ,  73 (2), 321-336.
• McGaffin, B. J., Lyons, G. C., & Deane, F. P. (2013). Self-forgiveness, shame, and guilt in recovery from drug and alcohol problems.  Substance Abuse ,  34 (4), 396-404.
• Mudgal, S., & Tiwari, G. (2015). Self-forgiveness and life satisfaction in people living with HIV/AIDS. The International Journal of Indian Psychology, 3 (1), 101-108.
• Peterson, S. J., Van Tongeren, D. R., Womack, S. D., Hook, J. N., Davis, D. E., & Griffin, B. J. (2017). The benefits of self-forgiveness on mental health: Evidence from correlational and experimental research. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 12(2), 159-168.
• Singer, T., & Lamm, C. (2009). The social neuroscience of empathy.  Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences ,  1156 (1), 81-96.
• Squires, E. C., Sztainert, T., Gillen, N. R., Caouette, J., & Wohl, M. J. (2012). The problem with self-forgiveness: Forgiving the self deters readiness to change among gamblers.  Journal of Gambling Studies ,  28 (3), 337-350.
• Thoresen, C. E., Harris, A. H. S., & Luskin, F. (2000). Forgiveness and health: An unanswered question. In M. E. McCullough, K. I. Pargament, & C. E. Thoresen (Eds.),  Forgiveness: Theory, research, and practice  (pp. 254–280). Guilford Press.
• Toussaint, L., Barry, M., Bornfriend, L., & Markman, M. (2014). Restore: The journey toward self-forgiveness: A randomized trial of patient education on self-forgiveness in cancer patients and caregivers.  Journal of Health Care Chaplaincy ,  20 (2), 54-74.
• Toussaint, L., Kamble, S., Marschall, J. C., & Duggi, D. B. (2016). The effects of brief prayer on the experience of forgiveness: An American and Indian comparison.  International Journal of Psychology ,  51 (4), 288-295.
• Wenzel, M., Woodyatt, L., & Hedrick, K. (2012). No genuine self-forgiveness without accepting responsibility: Value reaffirmation as a key to maintaining positive self-regard. European Journal of Social Psychology ,  42 (5), 617-627.
• Witvliet, C. V. O., Ludwig, T. E., & Laan, K. L. V. (2001). Granting forgiveness or harboring grudges: Implications for emotion, physiology, and health.  Psychological Science ,  12 (2), 117-123.
• Wohl, M. J., & Thompson, A. (2011). A dark side to self‐forgiveness: Forgiving the self and its association with chronic unhealthy behaviour.  British Journal of Social Psychology ,  50 (2), 354-364.
• Worthington Jr, E. L., & Langberg, D. (2012). Religious considerations and self-forgiveness in treating complex trauma and moral injury in present and former soldiers.  Journal of Psychology and Theology ,  40 (4), 274-288.
• Worthington, E. L., & Scherer, M. (2004). Forgiveness is an emotion-focused coping strategy that can reduce health risks and promote health resilience: Theory, review, and hypotheses.  Psychology & Health ,  19 (3), 385-405.

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How do we forgive though? I wish this article talked more about how we can forgive rather than why it’s good.

Hi Tyrone, Thanks for reading. You raise a good point! Perhaps we’ll prepare an article about this at some point soon. But in the meantime, you can read more on the topic of how to forgive here. – Nicole | Community Manager

A well researched article full of useful information. Thankyou

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66 Forgiveness Essay: Examples, Titles, & Thesis Statement

A forgiveness essay is an exciting yet challenging task. In our article, you can find good forgiveness essay examples in literature, history, religion, and other spheres

📝 Writing a Forgiveness Theme Statement

🏆 best forgiveness essay examples, 🔍 simple forgiveness titles for essay, 💡 interesting forgiveness essay examples.

In your forgiveness essay, focus on different aspects of forgiveness. Some good forgiveness titles for the essay reveal themes of revenge, justice, and personal forgiveness. You can write an excellent reflective or argumentative essay on forgiveness – it is a versatile topic.

Regardless of your forgiveness essay’s specific topic and type, you should develop a strong thesis statement. Below we will provide recommendations on making a good forgiveness theme statement. This will help you come up with a solid base and arguments to prove your position.

Check these tips to make a powerful forgiveness thesis statemen:

• Determine the primary idea. What are you trying to prove? Can anything be forgiven, or are there cases when it’s not possible? Introduce your one main idea and the angle from which you will look at it. You can also include some facts or opinions about the acuteness of the topic.
• Work out your argumentation. It is crucial to have a firm structure in your forgiveness essay. You need to support the thesis statement with several arguments and evidence to demonstrate the consistency of your paper.
• Think of the opposing views. Every argument has a counterargument. When working on your forgiveness theme statement, always keep an opposite thesis statement in mind. Having considered counter positions, you gain additional arguments for your position.
• Don’t quote others in your thesis statement. A thesis statement is the first and foremost chance to introduce your point of view. Use your own strongest words to reach a reader. This is where they get the first impression about the whole work.

We also have lots of other tips on developing A+ thesis statements. Check our free thesis statement generator to discover more information and get a perfect forgiveness theme statement.

• Christ’s Atonement and the Concept of Forgiveness This study will connect the atonement of Jesus Christ and attitudes towards forgiveness through the revision of the current church, Love and God’s commandment to forgive.
• Forgiveness in the Christian Texts and the World Today The apostle calls upon the church’s people to stop the punishment of the wrongdoer and forgive, comfort, and affirm their love for him. It instructs Muslims to follow God and forgive others instead of following […]
• Philosophy of Forgiveness I believe that if anyone had gone through all the pain and horror that Simon had, and was asked to forgive Karl, the instinct, and most humane reaction at that moment would be to strongly […]
• Hamlet and Forgiveness: A Personal Reflection Some of the most prominent themes in the story are the ideas of mutual forgiveness, people’s motivation to be proactive and take risks, and their willingness to forgive and ask for forgiveness.
• Service Recovery and Customer Forgiveness Studies suggest that after apologizing to customers plus taking responsibility for the problem, getting to the root of the problem is very important to prevent such occurrences in the future. Getting to the root of […]
• Racial Inequality Targeted Student Loan Forgiveness Programs The research into this topic seems highly significant as the reduction of racial inequality was one of the most debated topics in the U.S.for the last several decades.
• Forgiveness for Workplace Conflict Resolution The problem with the relationship between the two workers is that Jake feels that Monica is a relatively malicious individual. In the outlined scenario, Jake is doing all that he can to avoid dealing with […]
• The Effects of Forgiveness Therapy After gathering the relevant data, the researchers compared the recovery of the participants to their controls to determine the effects of forgiveness therapy.
• Self-Forgiveness: The Step Child of Forgiveness Research Other than the similarities and the differences, the two types of forgiveness relate to each other as self-forgiveness facilitates interpersonal forgiveness, this is through allowance of one to identify with one’s offender.
• The Amish Philosophy of Forgiveness It is important to note that the immediate forgiveness of the enemy does not mean that the Amish will let the perpetrators of crime go free.
• Review: “Interventions Studies on Forgiveness: A Meta-analysis” by Baskin T. and Enright R. In the church, members come to the pastor with a variety of social and psychological issues. The first step the pastor should undertake is to sympathise with the victims.
• Self-Forgiveness as the Path to Learning to Forgive the Others The key issues that the given research responds to or, at least, attempts to solve, are the definition of self-forgiveness, the relation between self-forgiveness and interpersonal forgiveness, and the means to differentiate between self-forgiveness and […]
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IvyPanda. (2024, February 24). 66 Forgiveness Essay: Examples, Titles, & Thesis Statement. https://ivypanda.com/essays/topic/forgiveness-essay-examples/

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The Many Benefits of Forgiveness, and How to Do It

Elizabeth Scott, PhD is an author, workshop leader, educator, and award-winning blogger on stress management, positive psychology, relationships, and emotional wellbeing.

Carly Snyder, MD is a reproductive and perinatal psychiatrist who combines traditional psychiatry with integrative medicine-based treatments.

The Challenge of Forgiveness

The importance of forgiveness, how to forgive.

Betrayal, aggression, and just plain insensitivity: people can hurt us in a million ways, and forgiveness isn’t always easy.

Whether you’ve been cut off in traffic, slighted by your mother-in-law, betrayed by a spouse, or badmouthed by a co-worker, most of us are faced with a variety of situations both serious and mundane that we can choose to ruminate over or forgive. But forgiveness, like so many things in life, is easier said than done.

That being said, there are so many benefits inherent in learning how to forgive—even more benefits for the person doing the forgiving than the person receiving the forgiveness. You don't have to forget what they said, despite the old adage, but letting go of anger and resentment toward someone can do wonders for your mental health.

Forgiveness can be a challenge for several reasons. Sometimes forgiveness can be confused with condoning what someone has done to us: “That’s OK. Why not do it again?” Even for people who understand the distinction between accepting someone's bad behavior as "okay" and accepting that it happened, forgiveness can be difficult because these two are easily confused.

Forgiveness can also be difficult when the person who wronged us doesn’t seem to deserve our forgiveness. It can feel like you are letting them "off the hook." While this feeling is completely understandable, it's vital to remember that forgiveness allows us to let go of a connection we have to those who have wronged us and move forward—with or without them.

Sometimes, it’s hard to remember that forgiveness benefits the forgiver more than the one who is forgiven.

Ultimately, forgiveness is especially challenging because it’s hard to let go of what happened. Forgiving someone who has committed unacceptable behavior can be difficult when we are having trouble letting go of anger or hurt surrounding the event itself.

Forgiveness is good for your heart—literally. One 2017 study from the Annals of Behavioral Medicine was the first to associate greater forgiveness with less stress and ultimately better mental health.  Increases in forgiveness made for less perceived stress, which was followed by decreases in mental health symptoms (but not physical health symptoms).

Other research in 2017 showed that 'state' forgiveness —an intentional, purpose-driven disposition bent toward forgiveness—produced in those participants who undertook forgiveness perceived senses of mental well-being, which included reductions in negative affect, feeling positive emotions, experiencing positive relations with others, discerning sensibilities of spiritual growth, and identifying a sense of meaning and purpose in life as well as a greater sense of empowerment. 

Research reported slightly earlier, in 2015, linked forgiveness with the proverbial forgetting. Emotional, intentional forgiveness influenced subsequent incidental forgetting. Determined, purposeful emotional forgiveness causes forgetting and is an important first step in the forgiveness cascade.

To sum it up, forgiveness is good for your body, your relationships, and your place in the world. That’s reason enough to convince virtually anyone to do the work of letting go of anger and working on forgiveness.

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Forgiveness may not always be easy, but it can be easier with a few exercises and the right mindset. First, keep in mind that forgiveness is something you do for  yourself  to sever your emotional attachment to what happened. (Think of taking your hand away from a hot burner on the stove—it remains hot, but you move away from it for your own safety.)

Let Yourself Be Angry, and Grieve

The first step in learning to forgive isn't really about the act of forgiving at all, it's kind of the opposite. Before you can get to a point where you're able to practice forgiveness, you need to properly feel your feelings about the problem.

That means really letting yourself be angry about what happened. This isn't about making yourself a victim or making the person who hurt you out to be a monster of some kind, it's just allowing yourself to feel your anger without suppressing it. Allow yourself to grieve if you lost a friend because of the situation, and get the emotions out of your body. This can take time and can involve practices like journaling or talk therapy.

Practice Empathy

When someone hurts you, betrays you, or is downright mean to you it can be hard to put yourself in their shoes. You would never do that to someone, you tell yourself, and maybe you wouldn't. But that doesn't mean you haven't been in situations where you behaved badly towards someone else in a way that may have been unintentionally hurtful.

It can help to keep this in mind when debating whether or not to forgive someone—maybe that person generally thinks the same thing about themself. Are they truly a malicious person? Or did they just mess up and have a major lapse in judgment? Sometimes trying to reframe someone's behavior in this way can get you a little closer to being able to forgive.

Identify The "Why" in Yourself

You might also take the time to contemplate why you're still holding onto the anger that you're experiencing. Even if the thing the person did to you has drastically impacted your life, is it serving you to stay angry? Is it helping in your healing process? If you answered no, forgiveness might be a good next step.

Set Boundaries

When learning how to forgive, it's important to remember that forgiveness doesn't mean you have to let that person back into your life. If someone isn't good for your well-being it's totally ok to cut them out of your life or set strict boundaries on the time you spend with them. Forgiveness is for you, not the person who hurt you.

Also, remind yourself that you are moving forward, and forgiving this person allows them (or at least what they've done) to stay in the past as you move on.

Toussaint LL, Shields GS, Slavich GM. Forgiveness, Stress, and Health: a 5-Week Dynamic Parallel Process Study .  Ann Behav Med . 2016;50(5):727–735. doi:10.1007/s12160-016-9796-6

Akhtar S, Dolan A, Barlow J. Understanding the Relationship Between State Forgiveness and Psychological Wellbeing: A Qualitative Study.   J Relig Health . 2017;56(2):450–463. doi:10.1007/s10943-016-0188-9

Lichtenfeld S, Buechner VL, Maier MA, Fernández-Capo M. Forgive and Forget: Differences between Decisional and Emotional Forgiveness.   PLoS One . 2015;10(5):e0125561. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0125561

By Elizabeth Scott, PhD Elizabeth Scott, PhD is an author, workshop leader, educator, and award-winning blogger on stress management, positive psychology, relationships, and emotional wellbeing.

Essay on Forgiveness

Students are often asked to write an essay on Forgiveness in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Forgiveness

Understanding forgiveness.

Forgiveness is when we stop feeling anger towards someone who has done something wrong to us. It’s like letting go of a heavy burden.

The Power of Forgiveness

Forgiveness and relationships.

Forgiveness strengthens our relationships. It helps us to understand and accept others, despite their mistakes.

Learning to Forgive

Forgiving is not easy, but it’s important. We can learn to forgive by understanding that everyone makes mistakes.

250 Words Essay on Forgiveness

Introduction.

Forgiveness, a virtue often preached yet seldom practiced, is the act of pardoning an offender. It is a complex psychological phenomenon that involves an intricate interplay between emotions, cognition, and actions.

The Significance of Forgiveness

The importance of forgiveness lies in its ability to release the negative emotions of anger, resentment, and the desire for retribution. This cathartic process promotes emotional well-being, reducing stress, and enhancing interpersonal relationships. It is a testament to human resilience and our capacity for empathy and compassion.

The Psychology of Forgiveness

From a psychological perspective, forgiveness is a conscious, deliberate decision to relinquish feelings of resentment or vengeance. This process involves a cognitive shift, a change in one’s attitude towards the offender, and a willingness to let go of negative emotions. It does not necessarily mean forgetting the offense or reconciling with the offender, but rather, it is about finding inner peace and moving on.

Forgiveness as a Social Construct

Sociologically, forgiveness is a social construct that helps maintain social harmony. It promotes reconciliation and prevents the perpetuation of a cycle of revenge and hostility. In this sense, forgiveness is an essential component of social cohesion and stability.

500 Words Essay on Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a multifaceted concept, deeply embedded in human interactions and fundamental to the continuity of social relationships. It is a conscious decision to let go of resentment or vengeance towards an individual or group who has harmed us, regardless of whether they deserve our forgiveness.

The act of forgiveness is a psychological process that involves a change in emotion and attitude towards an offender. It is a voluntary and deliberate act that requires effort and emotional resilience. The process is often complex, involving feelings of hurt, anger, and betrayal. However, it also opens the door to healing, peace, and the possibility of reconciliation.

Psychologists suggest that forgiveness can be a transformative process that promotes mental health, reduces anxiety, and enhances our well-being. It is a coping strategy that allows us to deal with interpersonal conflicts and emotional injuries. By forgiving, we free ourselves from the chains of bitterness, enabling us to move forward without the burden of past hurts.

The Philosophy of Forgiveness

Philosophically, forgiveness is seen as a virtue, an act of grace and compassion. It is a moral decision to absolve another of their wrongdoings, not out of obligation, but out of understanding and empathy. This perspective emphasizes the ethical dimension of forgiveness, viewing it as a moral duty or obligation.

However, forgiveness does not mean forgetting or condoning the wrongdoings. It does not eliminate the need for justice or accountability. Instead, it allows us to separate the person from their actions, acknowledging the harm done while choosing to let go of the resentment it has caused.

Forgiveness in Practice

Forgiveness is a personal journey and there is no right or wrong way to go about it. It can be a slow and challenging process, but it also brings about personal growth and emotional liberation.

If you’re looking for more, here are essays on other interesting topics:

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Forgiveness: Letting go of grudges and bitterness

When someone you care about hurts you, you can hold on to anger and resentment — or embrace forgiveness and move forward.

Who hasn't been hurt by the actions or words of another? Perhaps a parent constantly criticized you growing up, a colleague sabotaged a project or your partner had an affair. Or maybe you've had a traumatic experience, such as being physically or emotionally abused by someone close to you. These wounds can leave lasting feelings of resentment, bitterness and anger — sometimes even hatred.

But if you hold on to that pain, you might be the one who pays most dearly. By embracing forgiveness, you also can embrace peace and hope. Consider how forgiveness can lead you down the path of physical, emotional and spiritual well-being.

What is forgiveness?

Forgiveness means different things to different people. But in general, it involves an intentional decision to let go of resentment and anger.

The act that hurt or offended you might always be with you. But working on forgiveness can lessen that act's grip on you. It can help free you from the control of the person who harmed you. Sometimes, forgiveness might even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you.

Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting or excusing the harm done to you. It also doesn't necessarily mean making up with the person who caused the harm. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that allows you to focus on yourself and helps you go on with life.

What are the benefits of forgiving someone?

Letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for improved health and peace of mind. Forgiveness can lead to:

• Healthier relationships.
• Improved mental health.
• Less anxiety, stress and hostility.
• Fewer symptoms of depression.
• Lower blood pressure.
• A stronger immune system.
• Improved heart health.
• Improved self-esteem.

Why is it so easy to hold a grudge?

Being hurt by someone, particularly someone you love and trust, can cause anger, sadness and confusion. If you dwell on hurtful events or situations, grudges filled with resentment and hostility can take root. If you allow negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by bitterness or a sense of injustice.

Some people are naturally more forgiving than others. But even if you tend to hold a grudge, almost anyone can learn to be more forgiving.

What are the effects of holding a grudge?

If you struggle with finding forgiveness, you might:

• Bring anger and bitterness into new relationships and experiences.
• Become so wrapped up in the wrong that you can't enjoy the present.
• Become depressed, irritable or anxious.
• Feel at odds with your spiritual beliefs.
• Lose valuable and enriching connections with others.

How do I move toward a state of forgiveness?

Forgiveness is a commitment to change. It takes practice. To move toward forgiveness, you might:

• Recognize the value of forgiveness and how it can improve your life.
• Identify what needs healing and who you want to forgive.
• Join a support group or see a counselor.
• Acknowledge your emotions about the harm done to you, recognize how those emotions affect your behavior, and work to release them.
• Choose to forgive the person who's offended you.
• Release the control and power that the offending person and situation have had in your life.

What happens if I can't forgive someone?

Forgiveness can be hard, especially if the person who hurt you doesn't admit wrongdoing. If you find yourself stuck:

• Practice empathy. Try seeing the situation from the other person's point of view.
• Ask yourself about the circumstances that may have led the other person to behave in such a way. Perhaps you would have reacted similarly if you faced the same situation.
• Reflect on times when others have forgiven you.
• Write in a journal, pray or use guided meditation. Or talk with a person you've found to be wise and compassionate, such as a spiritual leader, a mental health provider, or an impartial loved one or friend.
• Be aware that forgiveness is a process. Even small hurts may need to be revisited and forgiven again and again.

Does forgiveness guarantee reconciliation?

If the hurtful event involved someone whose relationship you value, forgiveness may lead to reconciliation. But that isn't always the case.

Reconciliation might be impossible if the offender has died or is unwilling to communicate with you. In other cases, reconciliation might not be appropriate. Still, forgiveness is possible — even if reconciliation isn't.

What if the person I'm forgiving doesn't change?

Getting another person to change isn't the point of forgiveness. It's about focusing on what you can control in the here and now. Think of forgiveness more about how it can change your life by bringing you peace, happiness, and emotional and spiritual healing. Forgiveness can take away the power the other person continues to have in your life.

What if I'm the one who needs forgiveness?

The first step is to honestly assess and acknowledge the wrongs you've done and how they have affected others. Avoid judging yourself too harshly.

If you're truly sorry for something you've said or done and want forgiveness, consider reaching out to those you've harmed. Speak of your sincere sorrow or regret. Ask for forgiveness without making excuses.

You can't force someone to forgive you. Others need to move to forgiveness in their own time. Remember, forgiveness is a process. Whatever happens, commit to treating others with compassion, empathy and respect.

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• Rakel D, ed. Forgiveness. In: Integrative Medicine. 4th ed. Elsevier; 2018. https://www.clinicalkey.com. Accessed Nov. 2, 2022.
• Forgiveness can improve mental and physical health. American Psychological Association. https://www.apa.org/monitor/2017/01/ce-corner.aspx. Accessed Nov. 2, 2022.
• Silva RS, et al. Forgiveness facilitation in palliative care: A scoping review. JBI Evidence Synthesis. 2020; doi:10.11124/JBISRIR-D-19-00286.
• Martinez-Diaz P, et al. Victim's perspective of forgiveness seeking behaviors after transgressions. Frontiers in Psychology. 2021; doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2021.656689.
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Forgiveness Defined

What is forgiveness.

Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.

Just as important as defining what forgiveness is , though, is understanding what forgiveness is not . Experts who study or teach forgiveness make clear that when you forgive, you do not gloss over or deny the seriousness of an offense against you. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, nor does it mean condoning or excusing offenses. Though forgiveness can help repair a damaged relationship, it doesn’t obligate you to reconcile with the person who harmed you, or release them from legal accountability.

Instead, forgiveness brings the forgiver peace of mind and frees him or her from corrosive anger. While there is some debate over whether true forgiveness requires positive feelings toward the offender, experts agree that it at least involves letting go of deeply held negative feelings. In that way, it empowers you to recognize the pain you suffered without letting that pain define you, enabling you to heal and move on with your life.

While early research focused on forgiveness of others by individuals, new areas of research are starting to examine the benefits of group forgiveness and self-forgiveness .

For More: Read forgiveness expert Fred Luskin’s essay, “ What Is Forgiveness? ,” and Jack Kornfield’s thoughts on what forgiveness means . Learn more about forgiveness research in this summary of key studies and recent white paper , and consider: Is anything unforgiveable?

What are the Limitations?

Does Forgiveness Make Men Feel Weak?

A new study suggests that men and women might experience forgiveness differently.

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A new study compares different responses to bullying—and finds that forgiveness may have to wait.

Why Evolution Made Forgiveness Difficult

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Why Practice It?

We often think of forgiveness as a kind, magnanimous act—an act of mercy or compassion extended to someone who wronged us. While that can be true, research over the past few decades has revealed enormous personal benefits to forgiveness as well. According to that research, here are some of the most compelling ways forgiveness is good for us, our relationships, and our communities.

• Forgiveness makes us happier : Research suggests not only that happy people are more likely to forgive but that forgiving others can make people feel happy , especially when they forgive someone to whom they feel close.
• Forgiveness protects our mental health : People who receive therapy designed to foster forgiveness experience greater improvements in depression, anxiety, and hope than those who don’t. Forgiveness may also play a role in preventing suicide .
• Forgiveness improves our health : When we dwell on grudges, our blood pressure and heart rate spike—signs of stress which damage the body; when we forgive, our stress levels drop, and people who are more forgiving are protected from the negative health effects of stress . Studies also suggest that holding grudges might compromise our immune system, making us less resistant to illness.
• Forgiveness sustains relationships : When our friends inevitably hurt or disappoint us, holding a grudge makes us less likely to sacrifice or cooperate with them, which undermines feelings of trust and commitment, driving us further apart. Studies suggest that forgiveness can stop this downward spiral and repair our relationship before it dissolves.
• Forgiveness is good for marriages (most of the time): Spouses who are more forgiving and less vindictive are better at resolving conflicts effectively in their marriage. A long-term study of newlyweds found that more forgiving spouses had stronger, more satisfying relationships . However, when more forgiving spouses were frequently mistreated by their husband or wife, they became less satisfied with their marriage.
• Forgiveness boosts kindness and connectedness : People who feel forgiving don’t only feel more positive toward someone who hurt them. They are also more likely to want to volunteer and donate money to charity, and they feel more connected to other people in general.
• Forgiveness can help heal the wounds of war: A research-based forgiveness training program in Rwanda , for instance, was linked to reduced trauma and more positive attitudes between the Hutus and Tutsis there. A study of people who learned forgiveness skills in war-torn Sierra Leone found that they reported feeling less depressed, more grateful, more satisfied with life, and less stressed afterward. Perhaps most famously, South Africa’s Truth and Reconciliation Commission is widely credited with encouraging forgiveness and reconciliation after the end of apartheid in that country. Archbishop Desmond Tutu , the commission’s chairman, has argued that forgiveness is the path to “true enduring peace.”
• Forgiveness is good for kids and teens: Kids who are more forgiving toward their friends have higher well-being. Forgiveness training can help adolescent girls who are bullies and bullied decrease their anger, aggression, and delinquency, while increasing their empathy and improving their grades.
• Forgiveness is good for workplaces : Employees who are more forgiving are also more productive and take fewer days off, partly thanks to reduced stress around their relationships.
• People who practice self-forgiveness tend to have better physical and mental health . Forgiving ourselves may also improve our relationships .

For More: Learn more about the benefits of forgiveness in researcher Everett Worthington’s article, “ The New Science of Forgiveness ,” and in Archbishop Desmond Tutu’s essay, “ Forgiveness + Reconciliation .”

How Do I Cultivate It?

According to Robert Enright , Fred Luskin , and other experts, forgiveness isn’t just for the deeply magnanimous among us; it’s both a choice and a trainable skill that almost anyone can learn. Fortunately, research suggests that the capacity for forgiveness is an intrinsic part of human nature . Here are some research-based strategies for tapping into that capacity, whether you’re trying to forgive others, forgive yourself, or seek forgiveness from someone else.

• View forgiveness as something for you, not a gift to someone else: In his Nine Steps to Forgiveness program, Fred Luskin emphasizes that forgiveness is best seen as something that will bring you peace, closure, and reduce your suffering—a point echoed by Jack Kornfield in this video.
• Articulate your emotions : If you want to forgive or be forgiven, be willing to express how you’re feeling to others and to yourself. Ruminating on negative feelings is both unhealthy and unproductive. As the GGSC’s Christine Carter argues, this is an important lesson to teach kids as well.
• Look for the silver lining: This can be a controversial tip, but research suggests that after someone hurts you, you can forgive more easily by reflecting on the personal benefits you may have gained through the transgression. Writing about those benefits might be especially helpful.
• Make an effective apology: If you’re seeking forgiveness from others, studies suggest that apologizing will help—but weak apologies might only make things worse. Researcher Aaron Lazare has studied apologies for years, concluding that an effective apology has four parts: It acknowledges the offense, offers an explanation for the offense, expresses remorse or shame, and involves a reparation of some kind.
• Cultivate empathy : When someone has been hurt, they’ll be more likely to forgive—and less likely to retaliate—if they can sense or imagine the distress or remorse felt by the person who hurt them. This might explain why apologies foster forgiveness.
• Practice mindfulness: Training in mindfulness can help college students become more forgiving, perhaps because awareness of painful feelings is part of the process of forgiveness. More mindful people are also more forgiving of betrayal .
• Humanize the Other through contact : Research in Northern Ireland found that people on both sides of the violence there were more likely to forgive if they came into contact with someone from the other side, perhaps because it reduced feelings of anger and encouraged them to see the other’s humanity.
• Don’t let yourself off too easy: Research suggests that forgiving yourself for mistakes can sometimes reduce your empathy for others and your motivation to make amends. For a more healthy way to forgive yourself, read these research-based steps , which include empathizing with your victim and honestly reflecting on what you did wrong, or follow this process recommended by Rick Hanson.
• Seek peace, not justice: In his forgiveness program , Robert Enright emphasizes that forgiveness is separate from justice. The people who hurt you may never get their just desserts, but that shouldn’t prevent you from moving on with your life.
• Understand that forgiveness is a process : True forgiveness doesn’t happen in an instant; instead, it takes time and energy to achieve, and might not come easily.
• Overcome barriers to forgiveness: Research reveals some common fears and concerns to address if we are resistant to forgiving.
• Foster a forgiving school: Build a school climate of care and fairness in order to facilitate forgiveness among teachers and staff.
• Raise forgiving kids : Parents can help kids learn forgiveness by modeling it themselves, and allowing kids to move through the process of forgiveness at their own pace.

For more: Check out Christine Carter’s tips for teaching forgiveness skills to children, adapted from Luskin’s nine steps. And she offers these tips for fostering forgiveness in families.

Leading forgiveness researchers have also developed their own evidence-based programs to foster forgiveness, including the following.

• Luskin’s Nine Steps to Forgiveness , which involve a mix of cognitive and meditative strategies, from articulating your grievance to shifting your expectations from life to revising the way you look at your past.
• Robert Enright’s Forgiveness Process Model , which consists of 20 steps divided into four phases : the Uncovering Phase , where one becomes aware of the true emotional stress he has suffered; the Decision Phase , where one commits to forgiving rather than continuing to focus exclusively on his suffering; the Work Phase , where one comes to accept—but not condone—the pain he has suffered, no matter how undeserved; and finally the Outcome/Deepening Phase , where one recognizes the relief and meaning he is gaining from forgiveness. Read Enright’s tips for moving through this process .
• Everett Worthington’s REACH method for forgiveness, which involves five steps: R ecall the hurt, E mpathize with the person who hurt you, offer an A ltruistic gift of forgiveness, C ommit to forgive (ideally publicly), and H old onto that forgiveness.

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Forgiveness Essay

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Topic: Why is forgiveness important

Throughout your life, you will have to forgive people. Often times, forgiveness can be difficult. A wise man once declared, “Holding a grudge does not make you strong; it makes you bitter. Forgiving does not make you weak; it sets you free.” Forgiving others allow you to overcome your anger, to heal spiritual wounds, and to be set free.

First, forgiving others allows you to overcome your anger. If you hold a situation against someone, you begin to also hold a grudge. This is also known as bitterness. Bitterness builds up over time and eventually, you become a negative form of yourself. Anger is not something you should hold in. It’s proven that anger is more than just an emotion, it has physiological effects on you.

Secondly, forgiving allows you to heal spiritual wounds. Matthew 6:14-15 “ For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Once you forgive others, our Father in Heaven will forgive you. Healing spiritual wounds will allow you to grow closer to Jesus and your family in Christ. With spiritual wounds, you will never be fully whole.

Last, forgiving simply sets you free. Forgiving others will allow weight to come off your shoulders. When you do not forgive, a bad feeling exists inside of you. It makes you feel hatred. One element of life is loving everyone, you cannot do this until you forgive. You have to be a blessing. With bitterness in your thoughts and mind, you cannot do this.

Overall, you will have to forgive people every day. Everyone makes mistakes. You should forgive people as fast as you would want them to forgive you. Forgiving gives you the chance to overcome your anger, to heal your spiritual wounds, and to set you free. Forgiveness is the key to life.

Explain why it is important to forgive

The Freedom of Forgiveness

It is very important to forgive others. Forgiveness means to forget someone’s bad deed or mistake. Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never received. You react to someone else’s mistake can be vital to your life and the lives of the others around you. Avoiding forgiveness can leave frustration in your heart and destroy your personality. You must learn to forgive others and yourself. It is very important to forgive.

First of all, it is important to react in the right way to someone else’s mistake. When you act in a response to an act or mistake, it could cause damage to good and bad sides. Fighting or taking revenge will only make a situation worse and it also means that you would commit a bad deed as well. If you do not fight or take revenge, but choose to forgive, you are at a higher place than the other person. By acting mature and not fighting or taking revenge, you will not damage your self-respect. Also, there will be peace between you and the other person because you both acted in a mature way. It is important to react in the right way to someone else’s mistake.

Secondly, it is important to forgive because avoiding forgiveness causes frustration in your heart and destroys your personality. If you forgive someone, you will feel better about yourself. Your heart and your mind will become more relaxed because you have peace in knowing that you do not have to be angry with anyone. In history, war broke out because countries could not forgive each other. If you simply learn to forgive, your mind and heart will be at peace instead of at war. Forgiveness is very important.

Lastly, forgiveness is important to you and the people around you. If you do not find forgiveness in yourself, others can become victims of your ego and revenge. If you are too prideful to forgive someone, you need to change your mindset. If someone does you wrong, you must treat everyone in a kind way because it is not their fault. If you don’t forgive yourself, you can’t forgive others. Forgiveness is very important to you and the people around you.

In conclusion, it is very important to forgive others. It is important to react in the right way to someone else’s mistake. It is important to never avoid forgiveness. Also, the way you react to forgiveness will affect you and the people around you. It is very important to forgive others.

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Forgiveness

Apology, Blame

Reviewed by Psychology Today Staff

Forgiveness is the release of resentment or anger . Forgiveness doesn’t mean reconciliation. One doesn't have to return to the same relationship or accept the same harmful behaviors from an offender.

Forgiveness is vitally important for the mental health of those who have been victimized. It propels people forward rather than keeping them emotionally engaged in an injustice or trauma . Forgiveness has been shown to elevate mood, enhance optimism , and guard against anger, stress , anxiety , and depression .

However, there are scenarios in which forgiveness is not the best course for a particular person. Sometimes a victim of sexual abuse becomes more empowered when they give themselves permission not to forgive.

• How to Forgive Others
• How to Forgive Yourself
• The Benefits of Forgiveness

Forgiveness can be challenging, especially when the offending party offers either an insincere apology or nothing at all. However, it’s often the healthiest path forward.

A prominent model, put forth by psychologist Robert Enright, delineates four steps of forgiveness. The first is to uncover your anger by exploring how you’ve avoided or addressed the emotion . The second is to make the decision to forgive. Begin by acknowledging that ignoring or coping with the offense hasn’t worked, and therefore forgiveness might provide a path forward.

Third, cultivate forgiveness by developing compassion for the offender. Reflect on whether the act was due to malicious intent or circumstances in the offender’s life. Lastly, release the harmful emotions and reflect on how you may have grown from the experience and the act of forgiveness itself.

Resentment can sometimes linger for years, even if we believe that we’ve “moved on” or “forgotten about it.” To release resentment, reflect on why the person may have committed the offense, sit with the pain, and then try to forgive the other person, because forgiveness can instill a sense of strength that overpowers bitterness. 

The decision to forgive an affair is deeply personal. A key component is for the partner who had the affair to be completely transparent and honest from that moment forward to rebuild trust in the relationship. This may involve exploring the reasons for the affair to address underlying problems and prevent infidelity in the future.

No. Everyone has the right to decide whether or not they forgive another person. There are many examples of people who have forgiven others for horrendous crimes, such as shooting them or killing their child. If forgiveness ultimately instills peace or healing, there is no action too severe for forgiveness.

No. Forgiveness and reconciliation are distinct concepts. Forgiveness is internal, and the process does not hinge on the offender offering an apology or reconciling afterward. 

Forgiving another person is one thing, but what happens when we commit the offense ourselves? It’s important to take responsibility for mistakes, but intense guilt and shame aren’t a productive outcome in the long run.

The process of self-forgiveness can be a painful challenge but deeply valuable. Key to this process is owning up to one’s mistakes, understanding why they occurred, and helping to rectify the situation.

Begin by acknowledging that you are at fault and take responsibility for the hurt you caused. Reflect on why the event occurred and identify how to avoid a similar offense in the future. Then forgive yourself by focusing on the thought, saying it aloud, or writing it down. Apologize to the person you wronged and try to improve their life in a meaningful way.

Mistakes often become attached to underlying beliefs about ourselves, such as “I always say the wrong things” or “I’ll never be able to cover my bills.” Self-forgiveness can require these beliefs to be identified and addressed first. This pitfall and others make self-forgiveness especially challenging.

If you’ve done everything you can to fix the mistake, but you continue to beat yourself up, try a technique called “self-distancing.” Switch your internal dialogue from first person to third person and consider how an outsider would see the situation. This can help cultivate self-compassion and silence your inner critic.

Forgiveness and Forgiveness Therapy have been linked to greater feelings of happiness , hopefulness, and optimism . The process of forgiveness can also protect against serious conditions such as anxiety and depression and post- traumatic stress disorder. The act was also shown to benefit cardiac patients, by significantly lowering their blood pressure.

Harboring anger and resentment leads to the body to release stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline whenever the person comes to mind. A steady stream of those chemicals can lead to stress and anxiety as well as dampen creativity and problem solving.

Forgiveness offers many  positive psychological developments, such as reducing unhealthy anger, repairing potentially valuable relationships, growing as a person, and exercising goodness in and of itself, no matter the response. In addition to personal benefits, modeling forgiveness for others may lead to intergenerational and even societal improvement.

Forgiveness therapy asks patients to confront injustice and emotional pain, and then work toward forgiveness to resolve unhealthy anger. This therapy, in conjunction with medication or cognitive behavioral therapy, can help treat depression.

Repairing from a mistake is a learning lesson. Knowing what not to do is a powerful first step.

The dissolution of a close, intimate friendship can be as traumatic as a divorce, but the willingness to be emotionally vulnerable may help repair the rupture.

Would you ask a trauma survivor to forgive their dying abuser? If so, you could be doing more harm than good.

Suffering a betrayal hurts and can have many spillover effects. Heed these 10 steps to help yourself heal, learn, and grow from the experience.

Keeping resentment towards people can destroy your health. Let go, forgive, and be truly free of the emotional baggage holding you back.

While romantic breakups can be devastating, they can also be reframed as opportunities for growth, gratitude, and new insight.

Deconstructing the myth of "forgive and forget."

A Personal Perspective: I wanted to believe that I had control over psychotic breaks until I acknowledged that psychosis is a medical illness like any other.

All couples argue. It may surprise you to learn that arguing does not in and of itself harm your relationship — but how you argue can cause damage.

Resentment can have a corrosive effect on love. Reflection, communication, and gratitude are key to preserving it.

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MSU Extension

The importance of forgiveness.

Lisa Tams <[email protected]> , Michigan State University Extension - December 12, 2016

Forgiveness is part of the process of healing and letting go of the past.

When two people are angry with each other, each side feels hurt by the other and would like to receive an apology. Unfortunately, many people believe that they “lose” by admitting they hurt the other person. So neither side apologizes and the mutual resentment continues indefinitely. It’s important to remember that you do not lose by apologizing and admitting that you have been hurting the other person. You win and so does the other person.

So what exactly is forgiveness? We have a lot of misconceptions about it. For example, that it means being weak, not demanding justice, excusing the reprehensible behavior, or letting oneself be treated badly. It’s not any of those things! Forgiveness means to cease to feel resentment against someone or something. It is very empowering to know that you can regain your sense of self. You can wake up each day without reliving the past, even though you won’t forget it.

Four myths about forgiveness

• Forgiving means forgetting. False! Your brain doesn’t stop remembering. Instead of dwelling on the past, you are now free to protect yourself and move on.
• Forgiving means you’re a pushover. Absolutely not! Forgiving puts you in a position of strength. You can still hold people accountable, but you take away that person’s power to hurt you anymore.
• Forgiving means you can’t get angry. Not true! You don’t excuse unkind, inconsiderate, selfish behavior nor minimize your own pain. You can’t change the past or predict the future, but you don’t have to suffer forever either.
• Forgiving means reconciliation . Not always! It just gives you emotional space to make decisions that are best for you. It helps you decide, with strength and confidence, what’s best for you. You can decide if you want to work things out, or just walk away or do something else.

Why should we forgive?

The Stanford Forgiveness Project has shown that learning to forgive lessens the amount of hurt, anger, stress and depression that people experience. People who forgive also become more hopeful, optimistic and compassionate and have enhanced conflict resolution skills. This research also found that people who forgive report significantly fewer physical symptoms of stress such as a backache, muscle tension, dizziness, headaches and upset stomachs. The act of forgiveness also increases energy and overall well-being.

How to forgive

• Acknowledge the pain you feel and recognize who is responsible for causing that pain.
• Express your emotions in healthy ways.
• Release any expectations you have of righting the wrong that was done to you.
• Be mindful of or restore your boundaries so that this doesn’t happen again. Remind yourself that people cannot give you what they don’t have. Remember what to expect of others.
• Find new ways to get your needs met in the future.
• Don’t say things like, “I’m sorry you feel that way.” This is not an apology, but a criticism.
• Don’t make your apology conditional on the other person’s apology. “I’ll admit I was wrong if you admit you were wrong.” Just apologize for what you did wrong. If the other person wants to apologize back, it is their choice, but do not expect it.
• Learning to forgive requires acceptance by acknowledging that what happened really happened, instead of wishing it were different.
• Release the unhealthy attachment you previously maintained concerning how the other person behaves.
• Reframe your life story and find meaning in the broken places. Redefine, recreate and restructure your life.

This article was published by Michigan State University Extension . For more information, visit https://extension.msu.edu . To have a digest of information delivered straight to your email inbox, visit https://extension.msu.edu/newsletters . To contact an expert in your area, visit https://extension.msu.edu/experts , or call 888-MSUE4MI (888-678-3464).

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Importance Of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a noble human trait that makes you a better and an invaluable human being. Whether you receive or give forgiveness, it lightens your heart, and fills it with gratitude. When you don’t forgive a person, it occupies a rented space in your heart and stays with you till you forgive them. The grudges that you hold in your heart makes you rigid. Only when you release all those past emotions, you can become free, and becomes one with your own nature. Let us know more about the importance of forgiveness .

You may feel that forgiveness is an act that show you weak. Due to pride, and ego, you resist the thought of forgiving the person. You need to know if you value your ego, and self-pride over your very nature i.e., compassion, then the resentment inside you, will eat you up. You can’t be free from that bitterness, and anger. There is no sense of carrying the feeling of hatred, and antipathy with you throughout your life. Forgiveness help you feel free from the pent-up emotions. It makes you soft, and pure and that is your very nature!

It has also been proved, that any disease, be it a mental ailment, or a physical ailment, it starts in your mind. When you hold grudges, or resentment against someone, it will impact your entire body. Sooner, or later, it will show up in some form of a disease. In other words, your inability to forgive due to your ego, and pride, will ultimately harm your body. When you forgive someone, it works like erasing all negativeness that you have been holding against them.

It is not always that others hurt us, sometimes we also hurt others knowingly or unknowingly. In this case also forgiveness is important. When we hurt others, then it fills our heart with guilt and that turns into sadness. You start to feel that you are not a good person. Such feeling is also damaging for your health. You need to get freed from it. Along with asking the other person to forgive you, it is equally important to forgive yourself. Take it as a learning and move ahead. However, don’t take it as an excuse to keep repeating the mistake again and again and forgiving yourself.

If you are afraid of going to the person and ask for forgiveness, then you can even do it in your thoughts. We all are connected to each other on the soul level. When you think positive about others, it reaches to them, and vice versa. So, when you think that you have done wrong to anybody, then sit in a relaxed state, close your eyes, and remember that person. Now ask them to forgive for all the hurt that you have caused to them. Your sincere apology will reach to them, and their soul will forgive you. In this way, you will get freed from the guilt.

In the same way, if you are hurt by someone, then you can forgive them if they come to you, or do it on the thought level for your open happiness. Remember them and feel that you have forgiven them and have no negative feelings towards them.

The act of forgiveness shows that you love yourself more than anyone else. To protect your own mental and physical state, there is no other way than forgiveness. Practice the skill of empathy, and seek forgiveness for others, and for yourself from time to time. In terms of spirituality, when you don’t forget yourself, and accumulate the feeling of anger for others, you take on bad karma. You need to suffer for those sins later on in your life. Forgiveness is one such act that release you from the bad feelings towards anyone, and prevents you from accumulating any sins. Look the world from a higher perspective.

Don’t associate wrongdoings with the person. Remember that “As you sow, so shall you reap”. See the other person as just a medium to give you the same experience of suffering that you may have caused to someone else in your past. Be grateful for him that he made you suffer and released you from sins. Don’t accumulate more sins by holding grudges against them.

Also read: Importance of respect in life

Forgive everyone. It clears your mind, frees your soul, reduces burden, breaks the patterns of negative thoughts, and preserves your kindness from getting ruined. If you love yourself, put your ego aside, and learn to forgive people. It is also what one of our most revered saints, “Lord Mahavira” has preached. So, practice forgiveness to lead a peaceful, and happier life.

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Sometimes, Forgiveness Is Overrated

Extending an olive branch can be healthy, but experts say it isn’t something people should feel pressured to do.

By Christina Caron

One of Amanda Gregory’s warmest childhood memories is a game that she played with her two brothers. They called it “cockroach hunt.”

It involved racing into the kitchen at night, flicking on the lights and trying to smash cockroaches with their bare feet before the bugs could scatter.

Neither her mother nor her father bothered to clean, she recalled, leaving the house filthy — floors thick with grime and carpets reeking of cat urine. And they rarely spoke to their children.

One day, she injured her knee, and her parents seemed more annoyed than concerned, she said. Eventually she learned to live with the pain. Decades later, Ms. Gregory found out that bone chips were left floating in her joint, a problem that required surgery.

When she was growing up, none of this seemed unusual. It wasn’t until much later in life, after becoming a trauma therapist in Chicago, that Ms. Gregory realized to what extent her parents’ physical and emotional neglect had affected her. In the course of her own therapy, she began to wonder: “Do I need to forgive to make more progress in my recovery?”

She is one of several therapists, writers and scholars questioning the conventional wisdom that it’s always better to forgive. In the process, they are redefining forgiveness, while also erasing the pressure to do it.

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U of M faculty vote ‘no confidence’ in interim president, provost over Holocaust center hiring

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The University of Minnesota’s Faculty Senate took a vote of no confidence Wednesday in Interim President Jeff Ettinger and Provost Rachel Croson, after the president paused the hiring process for the new director of the U’s Center for Holocaust and Genocide Studies. 

A search committee of faculty and staff had offered the director position to Raz Segal, an Israeli historian and genocide scholar. Segal is critical of Israel, and called Israel’s attacks on Gaza a “textbook case of genocide” in an October 2023 essay in the magazine Jewish Currents . 

Two professors resigned from the center’s board in protest of the hire. Some community members and Twin Cities Jewish organizations also criticized the choice. 

That prompted Ettinger to step in. Earlier this month, he paused the hiring process and announced that the university would restart with a new search committee, this time including members of the community. 

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Some faculty at the university are criticizing that intervention, claiming it undermined the search process and violated academic freedom.

Professor and faculty senator Michael Gallope introduced the no-confidence measures. 

“Any punishment of a student, staff, or faculty member for respectfully expressing their views violates the university’s mission and endangers its core values of free inquiry,” Gallope said.

Faculty voted “no confidence” in both Ettinger and Provost Croson, with a tally of 67 ayes and 38 nays for Ettinger and 55 ayes and 48 nays for Croson. The measures needed a simple majority to pass. 

Faculty at the senate meeting said they’re worried about political interests outside the university interfering in university hiring processes. They said center directors, like faculty, need to be able to research and express their opinions without worrying about whether they can keep their jobs.

Christina Ewig is a professor and the director of the university’s Center on Women, Gender and Public Policy. She voted in favor of the no-confidence measure. 

“There are plenty of controversial issues that I work with in my center. Not everyone agrees with the idea of equal rights for women,” Ewig said. “As a center director and as a professor, it is more important to have academic freedom, because without such protections I surely could not do my job.” 

At Wednesday’s meeting, Ettinger said he did not intend to undermine faculty. He said he wanted to give community members a chance to weigh in on the hiring, considering the community interest in the center beyond the university.

“Ultimately I tried to look at the totality of the circumstances and make the decision that I thought was in the best interest of the university, and that decision was to rescind the initial offer and pause the search,” Ettinger said. 

He clarified that hiring decisions for teaching and research roles are left to faculty, but said the role of a center director merits input from university administration. 

The vote followed a similar no-confidence measure approved last week by a faculty group in the university’s College of Liberal Arts.

Ettinger said that a new hiring process for the director of the Center for Holocaust and Genocide Studies will likely start in the 2025-26 school year. 

Ettinger is scheduled to depart his role as interim president next week. Rebecca Cunningham will take his place to serve as the president of the university.

• Minnesota Senate committee criticizes U of M for handling of pro-Palestinian protests
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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Forgiveness — Forgiveness and How It Is Important In Life

Forgiveness and How It is Important in Life

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