my thesis supervisor hates me

How to Cope with a Problematic PhD Supervisor

by James Hayton, PhD
January 17th, 2022

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Why you (probably) shouldn’t do a phd, “i can’t contact my phd supervisor until i have something to show”.

“Is there any system that protects PhD candidates from having a problematic supervisor? For example, any ways to make complaints? Or would complaints not help but make the relationship worse?”

The simple answer is yes, usually there are ways to make formal complaints.

My view is that universities and supervisors have a responsibility to provide support, feedback and guidance to PhD students. There’s a trust that you place in them when you invest years of your life and possibly quite a lot of money in tuition fees, and they have a duty to provide adequate support in return.

If you’re not receiving that support, you’ve got to be assertive . You’ve got to speak up, and you’ve got to speak up early while there’s still time to find a potential solution rather than waiting until the last few months of your PhD when it might be too late.

If you don’t say anything because you’re afraid of their reaction, there will probably be much worse consequences later.

However, as you rightly point out, making a formal complaint to the university or to your department is likely to affect your relationship with your supervisor.

I think that it’s always best to try to resolve any issues directly with your supervisor, and formal complaints should really only be used as a last resort if you’ve made every reasonable attempt to sort things out, but the working relationship has completely broken down. At that point, it doesn’t really matter how they react because the relationship is already dead.

So how should you try to address problems in your relationship with your PhD supervisor?

The original question doesn’t specify what the problem is, so I’ll go through a few common issues and how you might be able to approach them.

Problem 1: A lack of contact

The first common problem is simply a lack of contact. This is especially common if you’re doing a PhD remotely and you’re entirely dependent on email for communication.

Sometimes this isn’t entirely the supervisor’s fault. Often I speak to students who say they emailed the supervisor three months ago but didn’t get a reply. They can then get stuck in a cycle of worry about whether the supervisor cares about the project or whether the work they sent was good enough.

But then when I ask if they’ve tried to follow up, often they say they’re afraid of appearing rude, or they don’t want to disturb their supervisor because they’re so busy and important.

But remember that academics struggle too. The day your email arrived, maybe they had 100 other emails in their inbox. Maybe they had a grant application deadline. Maybe they were about to reply and someone knocked on their door. And maybe they fully intended to get back to you and because they wanted to give you a considered reply they didn’t do it in the moment and then it slid further down their inbox.

Personally, I try to stay on top of my email, but sometimes things slip. It doesn’t mean anything that I haven’t replied, and It’s helpful to me if you follow up on a message I haven’t replied to.

So try not to project your fears onto your supervisor. Assume good intentions and just send a polite follow up.

If they consistently don’t reply, then yes, that’s a problem. What I would do is say that you would really value their input and whether it would be possible to have more frequent contact, whether there’s something you can do to make that easier… and if there’s still no response or if they say no or if they get angry, this is when you might consider trying to change supervisor.

Problem 2: Multiple supervisors & contradictory advice

You might have more than one supervisor. Maybe they aren’t communicating with each other or maybe they are giving you contradictory advice.

In this case it’s your responsibility to manage the communication, making sure that they are both copied into emails, and they each know what the other has said.

It’s also worth noting that, often, supervisors are giving you suggestions and it’s up to you to decide what to do with them. They will want you to have counter-suggestions, they will want you to have your own ideas and they will want you to make decisions.

So instead of seeing it as contradictory advice, maybe try to see it as a range of options that you can try, or even modify to come up with another option of your own

Then in your communication with both supervisors, you can say what you’re going to try first.

Problem 3: Harsh feedback

What if your supervisor keeps giving you overly harsh feedback ?

This can be difficult to take, especially if you’ve put a lot of work in and if you’re feeling a bit stressed. So there’s an emotional component that can sometimes affect the way you interpret feedback and it can make you feel demotivated and disengaged.

When you were an undergraduate and you submitted an essay you probably just received a grade and moved on. You weren’t expected to make any changes. But at PhD level, you’re learning to be a professional academic. And when professional academics submit a paper—unless they submit to a low quality journal that accepts anything—there will almost always be things they have to change in response to the reviewers comments.

That’s actually a good result, because a lot of the best journals completely reject the majority of submissions. So I can guarantee that your supervisor, no matter how good their publication record, will have had work rejected and they will have had harsh feedback. It’s not a personal judgement, It’s just part of the job and it’s necessary to improve your work and your writing.

What I’d suggest is really engaging with the feedback, possibly just one section at a time to make it a little bit easier, and making sure you really understand the points they’re making and asking them questions to clarify if necessary.

One of the biggest frustrations I hear from PhD supervisors is students not saying anything. Most supervisors would want you to ask questions, they would want you to tell them if there’s something you don’t understand and they would want you to discuss a point you disagree with.

So try to become an active participant in your feedback, rather than a passive recipient.

For more on this point, check out my video on dealing with harsh feedback .

What makes a good PhD supervisor?

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5 Mistakes Your Thesis Supervisor May Never Forgive

June 8, 2015 by Dora Farkas, PhD 4 Comments

Your Thesis Supervisor May Not Appreciate Your Work Experience

Sam thought that graduate school would be a piece of cake. He already had six years of industry experience and he believed that he could finish his thesis sooner than his peers who came to the program right after college.

His first two years went smooth as he aced his courses, passed his qualifiers and designed a realistic project with his thesis supervisor that could be completed in 4 years. In his third year Sam decided to take his project in a different direction than what he had agreed upon with his thesis supervisor , because he thought it would be more likely to lead to a publication in a prestigious journal.

Feeling confident in himself after having been in industry for so long, Sam worked on his project solo, without giving updates to her supervisor. Sam’s thesis supervisor was an assistant professor with limited funding, and when he realized that the project was going in a different direction he gave Sam a warning to go back to their original plan.

Sam did return to the original project, but also worked on his own idea on the side using up his supervisor’s lab supplies. Sam wanted to collect enough preliminary data to convince his supervisor that his idea was “dynamite, ” and he exchanged several emotional emails with his supervisor to get his support.

At their next meeting Sam’s supervisor gave him an ultimatum: unless he returned to their original plan and met their milestones (which were quite ambitious) he would be let go from their group.

Sam was already at the end of his 3rd year and he didn’t want to start from scratch with another professor, so he abandoned his “pet project” and returned to his original thesis.

Ironically, Sam was the last to finish in her class (after a total of 7 years) despite his extensive industry experience, because he lost so much time on his side-project.

How to Avoid Five Mistakes That Could Cost You Your PhD

Mistake #1: openly disrespecting your supervisor.

Sam’s industry experience gave him false self-confidence, and he thought he knew things better than his thesis supervisor who was a junior faculty member. Instead of listening to his supervisor about the importance of staying with his current project, Sam “talked down” to his supervisor during meetings, and tried to prove why his project was better.

Not only did this mistake damage their relationship, but it also delayed his supervisor’s publications and jeopardized his funding.

What you can do :

While disrespecting your supervisor will surely damage your professional relationship, disagreeing politely can actually help you gain more respect . In graduate school you are expected to learn how to become an independent researcher, and questioning the standard way of doing things is a sign that you are an original thinker.

If you disagree with your supervisor’s idea (or anyone else’s for that matter), first listen to their point of view before speaking up. There are researchers (we all know who they are), who just want to be heard and they speak up at every meeting. It is not necessary to force yourself to say things just for the sake of speaking up.

You are much more likely to gain other people’s respect if you hear them out completely before expressing your own thoughts, whether you agree with them or not.

How do you draw the line between disagreeing and disrespecting?

If you become emotional or defensive during a meeting , you are heading in the direction of disrespect. No matter what others say you. can always stay, cool, calm and collected (the 3C’s) and focus on solving the problem.

Mistake #2: Keeping your supervisor in the dark about changes or progress on your work

One of the most frequent sources of miscommunication is that students do not have a good understanding of what their supervisor’s expectations are – how often should they report progress and when should they ask for help?

Some supervisors are hands-on and like to be updated frequently on your progress, while others trust you to reach out to them when you need help. There is not right style of management, you just need to make sure that your supervisor’s personality is the right fit for you.

Sam’s first mistake was that he kept his supervisor in the dark about his progress, because he did not realize that his research was crucial to his supervisor’s funding. Had he communicated more openly about his progress, Sam could have avoided a potentially disastrous situation.

What you can do:

If you already have a supervisor and you realize that their expectations do not meet your work style (e.g. he expects updates frequently, and you would like more independence), you need to have a meeting to clarify when he would like to updated on your progress, and respect his expectations.

It is always better to err on the side of sending updates more frequently to avoid miscommunication that could delay your publications or graduation date.

Mistake #3: Working on a side project without your supervisor’s approval

While you are expected to take leadership of your thesis, if you are using your thesis supervisor’s funding and resources, they still “own” the project. In addition, they are responsible for the research in their group, and they need to make sure that it is ethical and in alignment with their funding sources.

Some supervisors, particularly the ones with plenty of funding, allow their students to pursue side projects, as long the main project is still on track. In Sam’s case, his side project took up most of his time, and it also depleted his groups’ resources.

Going off in a research direction that you think is interesting (while neglecting your actual thesis topic) is a type of “shiny object syndrome.” Perhaps you come across a paper or a new technique, and you want to try it on your own. As an independent researcher, you don’t always need to consult with your supervisor before you try something new.

The problem occurs when this new “side project” becomes a significant time and resource sink, and you fall behind on your milestones (not to mention that you will upset your supervisor too).

If you come across a novel idea that you think could become part of your thesis, run it by your advisor before spending a significant amount of time (or money) on it. Don’t assume that just because you think this research is interesting, your supervisor will, too. (Perhaps he or she has tried it in the past and chose not to pursue it for good reason.)

Mistake #4: Sending emotional emails

This is probably the most common mistake, because people (especially professors) are so tough to reach in person or by phone, that students have to resort to communication by e-mail.

When you send an emotional email, where you describe why you are angry or frustrated, it can upset your supervisor because he or she cannot sense your tone of voice. There is no way to tell how angry you really are, and you may leave out important details that could help your supervisor solve your problem.

Sam was so focused on getting his project to work that he used email as his primary source of communication with his supervisor instead of meeting with him in person. Since Sam was experienced and his side-project was promising, it is likely that they could have come to an agreement if they had a live conversation.

However, since they communicated mostly by email, Sam’s thesis supervisor assumed that Sam had no interest in doing his original thesis project. His impression was that Sam focused solely on his side-project, used up his resources, and he was very close to letting Sam go from the group.

What you can do:

I usually recommend that you use emails for “neutral” topics, such as sending documents or setting up a time to meet. While professors are busy, what I found interesting, is that when students become more assertive and ask for a time to meet over email (instead of discussing the issues over email), most supervisors find at least 15 minutes either in person or over the phone.

What surprised students even more was that once they met with their supervisors in person, it was easier to reach an agreement than communicating back and forth via email. Nobody likes conflict, or direct confrontation, and when you meet with them in person they are more likely to come to an agreement, than if you had communicated over email.

Mistake #5: Plagiarizing or not giving credit where it is due

Sam did not make this mistake, but I did know other students who came close to being let go from their program because they (intentionally or unintentionally) copied information from another paper, or presented someone else’s data as their own. When you review 50-100 papers for a literature search, it is tough to keep all your references straight.

As you begin writing, the text in your literature review might sound very close to some of the papers you read. In fact, your sentences and word choice might be so close that your thesis supervisor might question whether you “lifted” off some paragraphs, or worse, he or she may accuse you of plagiarism (one of the worst offenses in an academic environment).

Whether it was intentional or not, if your paper is too close to someone else’s, it will reflect very poorly on your performance and could ruin your reputation for years.

Keep all the information from your references organized electronically. Since most of your references will be in electronic format such as pdf’s, you can highlight or box the information within the pdf itself. You can then group your references by category in different folders. This way, whenever you come across a new reference you can highlight the necessary information in the pdf, and then save it right away in the appropriate folder.

This practice will ensure that when it is time to write your literature review, you can pull up the corresponding files right away and see what information you want to use. You can then paraphrase this information appropriately (and include the references) so that you avoid any chances of being accused of “lifting” off or plagiarism.

Also, if you collaborate with others (inside or outside your group) keep very clear records of who generated what data. If you need to present or publish the data, you must give credit to the person who generated it, as well as their group leader.

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How to build a relationship with your supervisor before the thesis work begins

Starting the lines of communication early will lighten your emotional load by having someone already in your corner once the writing starts.

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The most important relationship you’ll have throughout your graduate school career is with your thesis supervisor. Your supervisor is the person who shepherds you through your thesis project, checks in on your progress and gives you advice on the direction of your research. However, it is important to start developing a relationship with your supervisor early on – before your thesis work even begins. You will be facing a lot of new hurdles as you begin your graduate career that are difficult to tackle alone. While other students can, and should, be a strong support network, your supervisor is the one who can support you in all areas of your program.

Determine what you need from the relationship

Before you meet with your supervisor, and before your studies begin, it is useful to determine what you need from your supervisor-supervisee relationship. This will vary depending on your field, program and thesis project type. If your work is in a natural scientific field and is lab-based, you will likely be working closely with your supervisor from the beginning. However, if you are in a humanities program that begins with courses (and thesis research starting later), then you may not need to be in frequent communication with your supervisor for a while.

However, a supervisor can still help you with more than just your final project. Ideally, your supervisor can also guide you through all aspects of the graduate experience. For example, some supervisors will advise their students on what elective classes to choose to best complement the research they will be doing for their thesis. Your supervisor will know the research being done by their colleagues within the department and can recommend courses so that you have the most stimulating classwork possible.

The next potential step of your academic process you will need to discuss with your supervisor is grant applications. If you are applying for a federal or provincial grant such as SSHRC or FRQSC , you will likely require your supervisor’s guidance to put together a well-written proposal. As these grants require an explanation of your research project, it is important to keep your supervisor up to date on your thesis plans. Even if the initial proposal in the grant application is subject to change (as many of these grants allow) your supervisor can help determine what information needs to be included. Further, since these grants require reference letters, your supervisor may want to sign off on what you are proposing, putting them in a better position to write a more robust letter for you.

Plan the initial meeting

Next, when planning the initial meeting, you’ll want to determine whether you would like a face-to-face meeting or a Zoom call. A Zoom call may be best if your supervisor is stretched between many responsibilities such as field research, running a lab, instructing, etc. However, you may not get as strong of a sense of their communication style and the conversation may be a bit more stilted. If this is a concern for you, you can instead try to request an in-person meeting. While this will may be harder to organize before the semester starts, having your initial meeting face-to-face can help you feel more comfortable around your supervisor if you are nervous about starting this relationship.

Discuss your communication style

The next step is to figure out what your academic communication style is. While understanding this will help you in all manner of academic and professional settings, it is especially important to make sure the expectations of your relationship with your supervisor are clear to both of you, which will help avoid any problematic miscommunications down the road.

Would you like a more sporadic email relationship? Longer monthly meetings? Determining this will help you and your supervisor know the best ways to contact one another. For some, a more informal email chain is useful for quick questions, but it can also feel overwhelmingly constant. Others like scheduled meetings to debrief, as it can help you feel more productive to reflect on the work of an entire month. However, this may also be too infrequent at certain points of the graduate process. Discuss what will work best for both of you.

Plan a tentative timeline for your thesis

Even though you have just started your program, it can still be helpful to discuss, in broad strokes, what you want the next few years to look like. In this conversation, you can talk about when you would ideally like to have major milestones of your project done (i.e. proposal defense, data collection, final defense). Even though nothing is set in stone, and research tends to take longer than you imagine, your supervisor can help set healthy expectations for how your process will look. Knowing your ideal schedule will help both of you orient where your work efforts should go. Further, in this conversation, make sure your supervisor knows your weekly schedule so you can coordinate with each other over the entirety of your degree.

It is important to start building a strong supervisor relationship early, when you are less bogged down by thesis work, so once that time comes, they know how to support you. Starting this line of communication early will lighten your emotional load by having someone already in your corner once the thesis writing starts.

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15 things to remember if you’ve started to hate your PhD

Jun 1, 2021

Have you checked out the rest of The PhD Knowledge Base ? It’s home to hundreds more free resources and guides, written especially for PhD students.

It’s entirely normal to hate your PhD from time to time. The further you travel on the PhD journey, the more you start to resent the thesis.

That’s natural – spend years working on something, often with little immediate reward, and it natural that you will start to crumble.

Here we’ve put together a list of 15 things to remind yourself of if you’re started to lose motivation. They’ll remind you of all that’s special about your thesis and, hopefully, inject some enthusiasm back into your relationship with it.

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1. you should work less.

I find that most people fall into one of two camps.

There are those who throw themselves into their work, always chained to their desk and never feeling like they’re on top of things.

Then there are those who get easily distracted, putting things off to the last minute and feeling guilty that they’re always a little behind.

In both cases the outcome is the same: long hours spent working, with the fatigue and the stress that comes with it.

But what about doing less work? What about being more selective with your time, and more selective with what’s on your to do list, such that you didn’t have as much to do at all?

It means accepting that your value and output is not measured on the basis of how many hours you put in, or how much work you get done. It’s measured instead on the quality of the work, and on the level of focus you can achieve.

So if you find yourself burning the candle at both ends, ask yourself whether what you really need to do is work less.

2. Don’t Push Away Negative Thoughts

3. remember that your phd is trying to drown you, 4. routines come and go.

For many, the simplest way of making the PhD journey more manageable is to develop consistent routines.

For me, that involves going on a morning walk, exercising a few times a week, getting my emails and admin done first thing in the morning, and going to bed at roughly the same time.

But it’s easy to slip out of routines. We may be away from home, or the holiday season may disrupt our daily rhythm.

Whatever it is, we can start to drop the good habits we carefully nurture and start to pick up unhealthy ones – we might start exercising less, eating more processed foods, or staying up late.

When that happens to me, I can quickly start to feel anxious about whatever it is I’m working on. That makes sense; if routines introduce stability into our lives, it’s logical that disrupting those routines can mean we feel ungrounded and out of sorts.

If you can relate this holiday season, go easy on yourself. Like everything in life, this is temporary. As long as you’re conscious of what good routines looks like, and as long as you’re conscious that you’re temporarily departing from them, it won’t be long before you get back into healthy habits once the thing disrupting your routine has passed.

5. Ask Yourself: Are You Biting Off More Than You Can Chew?

6. set your intentions, 7. embrace the crappy drafts, 8. remind yourself that phds are hard.

Finding your PhD hard is kind of the point.

Repeat after me: if you’re finding your PhD hard it doesn’t mean you’re a failure, it means you’re doing it right.

9. Keep failing

10. remember that you’re never going to please everyone, 11. you’re going to get criticised, 12. don’t focus (too much) on the problems, 13. you have to admit when you’re wrong, 14. ask yourself: am i a perfectionist.

Most of the PhD students I talk to are perfectionists. You probably are too.

With perfectionism comes a desire to have control over day-to-day life, knowledge of what’s going to happen in the short term, and the certainty that the PhD thesis will be, well, perfect.

And then along comes coronavirus.

Your day-to-day life has been disrupted as you work from home and away from you normal routines, you’ve got no way of knowing what will happen in the short or long term, and you may worry that your thesis will be sub-optimal as you step away from fieldwork, labs and supervisors.

The perfectionist in you is panicking, right?

Perfectionism is a double-edged sword. On the one hand it can fill you with drive, passion, dedication and motivation. It can inspire you to try your hardest and do your best. It’s likely what got you on to your PhD programme in the first place.

But at the same time, it has a dark side. For as much as it can inspire, it can lead to panic. Anxiety, worry and dread often follow in the footsteps of perfectionism, such that when you lose control over your reality, or when you get things wrong, make mistakes or produce something sub-optimal, you panic. What starts off as a simple mistake can quickly become the end of the world.

Part of the challenge of doing a PhD, and particularly in the current context, is learning to embrace imperfection and recognising that sub-optimal does not necessarily mean failure. Managing perfectionism involves reminding yourself that you’re only human, and that humans face stresses, make mistakes and sometimes struggle to produce their best work. Even the brightest and most competent of people have off days.

The more you can remind yourself of that, the better equipped you’ll be to deal with what life throws at you and your thesis.

15. Lastly, Remember That It’s Okay Not To Be Productive

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4 Signs Your PhD Advisor Is Mistreating You and What to Do About It

PhD students rely on their supervisors for support, help and mentorship. But what happens when your supervisor treats you unfairly? In this article, we will tell about the top 4 signs your PhD advisor is mistreating you.

Why Do PhD Supervisors Turn on Students?

A PhD supervisor can make or break your post-graduate experience. An academic staff has a huge impact on how students feel about their experience. So, it’s hard when your supervisor starts treating you unfairly. Some students end up being micromanaged, bullied, and even abandoned by their advisors.

A conflict in working styles is one of the most common reasons why supervisor relationships turn sour. Many PhD advisors expect their students to be perfectly in sync with their work style. They don’t take it kindly when students can’t keep up.

Other times, it happens because of poor communication. Simply clarifying your expectations early can help you set things straight with your supervisor. Sometimes, even relationships that begin well, go on to become intolerable later. It’s all part of the ups and downs of the post-graduate experience.

With that said, there are times when students have advisors who are mistreating them without a clear reason. Let’s see how you can identify a PhD supervisor who mistreats you.

They Manipulate You through Praise

Mistreatment takes many forms. But you least expect it from someone who excessively praises you. Funnily enough, that is how some PhD advisors mistreat students. This type of behavior is called love bombing.

First, they will shower potential candidates with praises, telling them they are unlike other students they’ve worked with. They will lure you with promises of publications and prestigious institutions. However, it all ends after you join their research group.

As soon as you face problems like failed experiments, the same person could behave very differently. Instead of helping you modify your approach and reevaluate methods, they may belittle you.

The best way to pick up on such habits is to ask senior students in the program about their experience. Likewise, you can also ask the advisors how they relate to other students and how students relate to them.

In other words, if you sense your advisor is overpraising you or making fantastic claims about your acumen and credentials, pay attention to how they talk about other graduate students. Therefore, if an advisor tells you (a new graduate student) not to listen to senior graduate students because you are better than them, it’s likely they will discuss you similarly down the road.

They Want to Control Your Actions

Going to conferences and networking with people is crucial for the graduate journey. While it isn’t necessary to attend every meeting, you should definitely visit the ones relevant to your field and research topic.

A good supervisor will help you learn new skills and accelerate your professional and academic goals. Even if they disagree, they will let you decide what’s best for you. However, abusive advisors will stop you from attending conferences unless you have their permission. They will belittle you for going against their will and their position of power against you.

They Try to Isolate You

Abusers thrive in an environment where victims are isolated and can’t share their experiences. Unfortunately, graduate school is pretty isolating. Students must leave their established support circle, become financially dependent on an institution, and do their best to keep the advisor’s favor.

In such circumstances, it’s easier for abusive supervisors to force students into isolation. They may refuse to include other faculty as a part of your committee, so they have complete control over you.

There have been cases where abusive advisors refuse anyone on the committee who isn’t a part of their cult of personality. In such instances, a student’s success depends heavily on keeping their advisor happy. And since the rest of the committee is filled with people close to the supervisor, voicing your concerns can result in a group backlash or gaslighting.

This is why students need to maintain a strong support network. People around you can help you figure out different ways to avoid these situations.

They Want to Become Gatekeepers for Everything

Abusive supervisors have no qualms about telling you to do things and then get mad if you don’t follow through, even if it’s not directly related to the project. They will force you to ask them for permission for the simplest of things.

Impolite advisors may make it mandatory for students to ask for permission before approaching or talking to anyone at a conference. Other times, they might stop you from publishing your article in a journal until they have approved it.

Regardless, it’s likely that they won’t permit you and eventually force you to act on your own, only to then lash out at you for not listening.

In summary, the main purpose of mistreating supervisors is to misuse their power over you and exert their control over you. If you think your PhD advisor is mistreating you or stopping you from publishing an article, don’t worry; we have you covered.

Send your article to us. Experts at Edit911 offer you premium scientific editing services to help you publish your work in a journal. To learn more about our services, feel free to visit our website .

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What to do if your phd advisor is ignoring you, published by steve tippins on june 27, 2019 june 27, 2019.

Last Updated on: 7th June 2024, 04:40 am

“My PhD Advisor is ignoring me!” I hear this type of statement surprisingly often from students and clients. While sometimes it’s just a case of nerves on the part of the student, there are times when someone’s PhD advisor really is ignoring them.

In this post I will try to explain why your advisor might be ignoring you and possible actions that you can take.

What to Do if Your PhD Advisor Is Ignoring You

Understand university policy
Write your Chair
Set up a phone call
Ask for a new committee member

Jump to the Action Steps here.

Why is my PhD Advisor Ignoring Me?

Why do advisors ignore their students? Some simply feel that doctoral work should be an independent process–and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Others may be underpaid and overloaded with work. In rare cases some may actually be negligent. Either way, you’ll want to do something about it. But first let’s explore the possible reasons why your PhD advisor might be ignoring you.

Nervous tension

Is your PhD advisor actually ignoring you? It does happen, but if you’ve been living off of coffee and instant noodles and staring at your computer screen 23 hours a day for the past week, it may be worth evaluating if your perception is accurate.

The dissertation writing process can be enormously stressful. Sometimes, a student working late will discover a critical problem with their paper and email their advisor about it at 10 pm.

They’ll wake up at 6:30 am to start work again and check their email, but there’s no response. They have breakfast and check again at 7:15. By 8 am, they’ve checked their email four times, each with increasing anxiety about the lack of response.

woman worryingly checking her phone in her home kitchen

Meanwhile, the professor is maintaining a healthy work-life balance by not checking his or her email outside of working hours. Depending on how many students a professor is advising and how many other responsibilities they have, they may not even get back to you within 24 hours.

It’s a good idea to check in with your advisor when you start working together about what sort of response times you can expect, and how they prefer to communicate.

Perhaps email works best for them, or maybe they prefer to schedule a phone call. Maybe Wednesday afternoons are a particularly good time to be in touch. The more you can communicate with them about what works best, the better relationship you will have.

A culture of less support

Many doctoral students go through what I call the “go wander in the woods and see what you find” model. See my post on this topic. Basically you are left on your own to find what you need to complete your study. While this can be overwhelming, it’s also incredibly rewarding to know that you did it almost all by yourself.

woman in a grey turtleneck sweater studying in a library

Becoming a scholar capable of independent thought and research is part of the purpose of the dissertation requirement, so you may receive less support than you’re used to simply as a natural part of the process. Professors may expect you to be capable of handling many aspects of the process on your own.

However, you shouldn’t be left totally in the dark. You have a PhD advisor for a reason–because you need support designing your study, settling on your methodology, and refining your research questions. There is a difference between hand-holding and providing critical support, and a good advisor will understand this and be available for your needs, within reason.

Lower salaries

An additional factor to consider is how institutions pay advisors . At many schools, faculty are part time/adjuncts. This is very cost efficient for the school as minimal benefits are paid and tenure is not part of the equation.

Under this scenario your advisor may be getting paid something in the neighborhood of $100 a month to work with you. This number may seem very low based upon your tuition dollars but it is very close to actual figures at several institutions (this could explain some of the turnover that you see among faculty).

With numbers like these, faculty may ration their availability to match compensation levels. I have never heard this stated overtly but in an economically rational world it would be easy to see this happen. Regardless of whether it is benign neglect or rational economic behavior, the end result is you waiting for responses.

What You Can Do if Your PhD Advisor is Ignoring You

blonde woman explaining something to her student

If you find yourself in a situation where you are feeling neglected or that your submissions seem to have fallen into an abyss, there are some things that you can do. Don’t escalate to the last option immediately; there could be a legitimate reason for a delay and you don’t want to burn any bridges unnecessarily.

Here are the steps you can take if your PhD advisor is ignoring you.

1. Understand university policy and gently hold people to it

Before you start contacting people, I suggest that you look into your school’s policy regarding document review times. Most schools have a policy that work must be returned within a certain time period.

If you find that you are still within the allotted time then you will have to be patient and work on other things (for example, you can never spend enough time reviewing the literature). If, however, you find that your Chair/committee has exceeded the allotted time then move on to the next step.

2. Write your Chair

Sometimes people forget or situations beyond their control arise. Respectfully reach out to your Chair and ask about the status of your most recent submission. This may get things moving and get you where you want to be.

3. Set up a phone call

If an email does not get the desired results, set up a call with your Chair. A phone call can allow you to express your concerns in a respectful way and let your Chair. Sometimes this is all that’s needed to get things back on track.

4. Complain

If you still feel your PhD advisor is ignoring you, then it is time to bring your concerns to the attention of your academic advisor and perhaps the program director (or whatever title your school uses).

Schools do not like to have students complain and when they do they usually take action. Your Chair does not like to hear from his/her boss that there have been complaints. This can clear things up quickly. However, I urge you to exhaust all the other options first.

5. Ask for a new committee member

After all options have been exercised the last thing to try is to ask for a new Chair. Be aware that schools are reluctant to do this and even if they do, it can cause a delay as a new Chair is brought up to speed.

There are times when things move more slowly than expected. Some seem to be systemic and other times people need to be prodded to help things move forward. This is your degree, so it is up to you to both stay on top of things and remember to start with kindness. It really is true that catch more flies with honey. Good luck!

PS. If you’re looking for additional support, I also coach students who are in the process of writing their dissertations. Or, if you’re in need of an editor for your dissertation , we’ve got you covered.

Steve Tippins

Steve Tippins, PhD, has thrived in academia for over thirty years. He continues to love teaching in addition to coaching recent PhD graduates as well as students writing their dissertations. Learn more about his dissertation coaching and career coaching services. Book a Free Consultation with Steve Tippins

female phd student laughing at the laptop

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The process of earning a doctorate can be long and stressful – and for some people, it can even be traumatic. This may be hard for those who haven’t been through a doctoral program to Read more…

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PhD by Publication

PhD by publication, also known as “PhD by portfolio” or “PhD by published works,” is a relatively new route to completing your dissertation requirements for your doctoral degree. In the traditional dissertation route, you have Read more…

How I broke up with my supervisor.

This post, written by a PhD student, who wishes to stay anonymous, was sent to me late last year. Due to my new job, it’s taken me a long time to edit it down and make sure it doesn’t identify the student or their supervisor. I think you will find it an interesting story that highlights the tensions we all experience around the ‘finish at all costs (and on time)’ mentality.

Insitutions are feeling financial pressure to complete candidates within 4 years and put this pressure onto supervisors, who then pressure students. But s ocial media, by connecting students with each other, is giving some the courage to push back against this pressure. Supervisors might feel they are doing their best for a student by behaving as described in this post, but are they really? I’ll be interested to hear what you think in the comments.

My carefully worded email to my supervisors said I wanted to discuss our processes at the next supervision, and named that I’d been feeling disheartened and shut down , which I was sure was not their intention. Instead of the usually effusive response, the reply was ‘OK’. I cried a lot that week, and could feel myself slipping into the helpless depression that comes from feeling powerless and bullied.

As it happens I was not trying to do anything too radical with my approach to research and writing. I wanted to understand the big picture of my research field, try to learn some theory and apply it appropriately. I wanted to write about my insights on policy and current practice in relation to my topic area, based on published, scholarly literature. Basically I wanted to come out confident I had contributed something to knowledge via my topic , gained valuable skills and expertise, but still have lots more to learn. Personal growth and insight would come in parallel with the academic skills as part of the complex PhD journey.

This was not the paradigm presented to me in, what turned out to be, my final meeting with my now ex-supervisor.

Her vision of what ‘research training’ entails is to stay totally focused on your topic. My summary of her description is this: Don’t talk to anyone, don’t write anything non-academic. The topic is not what is important – all that matters is getting finished and being able then to move on to something interesting and collaborative. If I asked a question, expect to be told to find my own answer. If that answer is wrong, be sent away to come up with another one. Spend months alone with the data, going over and over until eventually a lightbulb moment happens. Don’t go to conferences, they distract you. Exclude everything else from life until it is done, because it is the piece of paper that matters, and opens doors to other opportunities.

This is the way of modern academia. It’s a game, and this is the way to play it successfully . This is how she had been supervised, with a powerful mentor who fast-tracked her to completion and a high position within a short time of arriving at the university.

This reminded me of when, aged 11, I prepared for religious confirmation, and said to my mother that I wasn’t sure if I believed in god or not. ‘Get confirmed first and think about it later’ was her reply. The process, and deep thinking or wide learning were deemed less important than the status at the end. As an 11 year old I saw the inappropriateness of my mother’s advice, but went along with it anyway. I am better now at standing up for what I believe in. (I’m still an atheist.)

In our last supervision session my request to discuss how we worked, my inability to make progress with her way of responding to my work in progress, the tears pouring down my face, were not mentioned. Instead I was given a description of how they all work when writing an article together: ‘this is shit, rewrite it’, no politeness or support, which apparently ends in an article being finished quickly.

The page from Stylish Academic Writing (Sword, 2012) describing what made a good article, which I had sent in the interests of sharing something I was reading, was mocked as being wrong and not in line with current practice. The page from Stylish Academic Writing (Sword, 2012) describing what made a good article, which I had sent in the interests of sharing something I was reading, was mocked as being wrong and not in line with current practice. If I didn’t like this approach maybe I could go to a different faculty and find a ‘feminist supervisor’, who won’t mind if I take 10 years to complete. This response showed neither an understanding of feminism nor my own intention to complete in a timely manner

The upshot of this meeting was: “No hard feelings, find a supervisor better suited to your style. I’ll sign the paperwork.”

I don’t doubt that this fast track, focus-on-the-task-and-get-finished-approach is common. It suits the hard, vocation-oriented direction universities are taking. They are businesses first, institutes of learning second. It bothers me, though. What kind of scholars is this fast-track paradigm creating? What impact is it having on the breadth of knowledge and depth of understanding, and the development of creative thinking and opportunities for excellent teachers to pass on thoughtful approaches and considerate practice?

Through social media I have learned that there are alternative ways to approach an idea , learn about a topic, publication and discussion. I know I’m not alone in my desire to learn deeply, to receive thoughtful input, to share ideas and to develop the courage to step out into the field.

Throughout Twitter has been an associate supervisor , guiding me, offering support and encouragement, the latest research about my topic. It’s provided instant community, with a hive mind to answer questions or suggest resources. It has been an important aspect of my candidature to date, and has contributed significantly to the resilience and confidence I feel as I seek a new supervisor to work with IRL to help me get finished in a timely manner, with deep learning along the way. Thanks, everyone!

Postscript 4 December 2012

I wrote the piece above just after the rift with my ex-supervisors happened, when I was full of grief, outrage, and frustration. Since then I have found new supervisors who are determined to keep me focused and finished , but are also open to a diversity of approaches and working in a way that suits me. I had been accepted to present at a conference in November, and nearly withdrew because I was feeling so disheartened, but decided to go, and shake off the previous negativity.

After my presentation I was approached by a respected academic in my field who said she liked my topic, approach, and way of thinking, and was I interested in doing a post-doc? Yes, please! While this was just a casual query, and no concrete offers have been made, as I do have to finish the PhD first, I have been buoyed by this interest and confidence, my work is progressing nicely, and I’m feeling good.

I’m glad to hear it all worked out Anonymous! How about you? Have you found yourself pressured to complete in a way that you think was detrimental to your own development as a researcher and scholar? Or do you think we need to respect the time limits that are set?

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Officially Grads

I think my advisor hates me.

By lumbarmoose February 12, 2013 in Officially Grads

lumbarmoose

I am a first year MA student in the social sciences and I thought that my graduate career was off to a great start. I finished my first semester (in which I had a slightly heavier than average course load) with a 4.0 and in my first semester review I was told I am making "excellent progress" and that one faculty member noted that I show "exceptional promise."

However, today my advisor told me that he doesn't think I am showing commitment. It stung, but I honestly saw it coming, as I never really felt like we clicked or understood each other particularly well.

I am quite upset and unsure what to do. Changing advisors is allowed in my department, but is it bad form to do so? Also, is spring of my first year in a masters program way too late to make such a big change? Its hard to imagine pressing forward with my current thesis idea now that I know my advisor doesn't think I am committed to it and doesn't see me staying in the discipline.

So I guess it comes down to this: do I jump ship and see if someone else will take me (it's worth noting that I THINK I know who said I show exceptional promise...)? Or do I try to show my advisor that I AM committed?

I'm feeling slightly crushed here, and any feedback/reassurance would be greatly appreciated.

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Well, what was your response to your advisor's comments? It sounds like this was a discussion rather than an email, so did you get a chance to defend yourself? I guess what you need to establish first of all (which is not clear from your post), is just how committed are you? If you are, then why let him get away with questioning your diligence and work ethic and take the easy way out? Something like this, especially from my advisor, would only serve to push myself harder and would encourage me to persevere. There are times in grad school when you need to make concessions or take an easier path, but then there are times when you must be relentless. I recommend the latter approach here. Prove him wrong. You got this.

Shelley Burian

Tough situation. You might consider having a further discussion with your current adviser as to why they think you are not committed or what they would like you to do differently. I have heard stories of offended advisers making things difficult for people after they switch,however it sounds like you have sufficiently impressed your department to avoid this kind of thing. Are you planning to continue on to a PhD, either in this department or elsewhere? If yes, it might be better to switch to someone with whom you will have a good relationship and get good letters of rec from. I would ask other, older students in your department if people have switched in the past and how it went.

fuzzylogician

I don't understand why you think your advisor hates you based on this correspondence. It sounds like you may be over-interpreting a legitimate criticism of your behavior as criticism of you as a person -- but nothing in your description of your conversation made it sound like there was anywhere near the level of emotion that you are attributing to your advisor. With that said, if I am interpreting the situation correctly then your advisor was not happy with something but it is most definitely not beyond repair and has not damaged your relationship much, if at all.

That aside, I think in general it's not too late to change advisors at this stage in your program. If the problem with the current advisor is simply that your personalities don't match, that problem is unlikely to fix itself or go away. You could learn to get along, but not much more than that. If there is someone else in your department who is a better match for you in that sense, I think you'll get more out of your MA experience if you work with them.

Another question is why your advisor thinks that you are uncommitted. Do you think you are committed, or is it indeed the case that you are not particularly excited about the thesis topic you're currently working on? Maybe the problem is with the topic and not the advisor. It's important to clarify the situation with your current advisor. Either find out why he thinks you're uncommitted or, if you know, have a frank conversation about how you could turn things around. If it's the thesis topic, inquire about changing it. You sound excited about your field so I'm assuming it's not about courses or general content, but maybe there is something there that bothers your advisor too. Work it out with him and get his advice about correcting the problem. At the same time, you could try discreetly seeking the advice of the person who said you show exceptional promise, as a potential future advisor or mentor.

The most important point I want to make is not to read too much into this unpleasant interaction. Take it as an opportunity to fix whatever is not working between you and your advisor. Treat it as a professional interaction without any personal content -- which I think is all that it was.

Knox , Dal PhDer , rising_star and 2 others

Thanks for your response! It was indeed a discussion rather than an email which leads to one of my other issues with him- he is always rushing around and rarely takes the time to sit down and talk with me. This particular conversation happened while he literally had me follow him to pick up his lunch with 20 minutes to spare before he had to teach a class, so it wasn't a great moment for an involved talk that allowed me to respond to his comment at length. I think it was very unfair to drop a bomb like that on me while he was eating his lunch and checking his watch to see when he needed to leave for class.

I am committed, but I am taking a route that does not lead directly to academia, as I'm in a rather unconventional dual degree program. I get the impression that, for him, not wanting to go into academia means not being committed to the discipline. If I'm right about that then I'm not really sure how I can convince him otherwise. If a 4.0, positive reviews from other professors, serving on a committee, and attending almost every departmental event doesn't demonstrate commitment to him then I have no idea what would.

I wish I were of the "prove him wrong" personality type, but I don't think I am.

I don't understand why you think your advisor hates you based on this correspondence. It sounds like you may be over-interpreting a legitimate criticism of your behavior as criticism of you as a person -- but nothing in your description of your conversation made it sound like there was anywhere near the level of emotion that you are attributing to your advisor. With that said, if I am interpreting the situation correctly then your advisor was not happy with something but it is most definitely not beyond repair and has not damaged your relationship much, if at all. That aside, I think in general it's not too late to change advisors at this stage in your program. If the problem with the current advisor is simply that your personalities don't match, that problem is unlikely to fix itself or go away. You could learn to get along, but not much more than that. If there is someone else in your department who is a better match for you in that sense, I think you'll get more out of your MA experience if you work with them. Another question is why your advisor thinks that you are uncommitted. Do you think you are committed, or is it indeed the case that you are not particularly excited about the thesis topic you're currently working on? Maybe the problem is with the topic and not the advisor. It's important to clarify the situation with your current advisor. Either find out why he thinks you're uncommitted or, if you know, have a frank conversation about how you could turn things around. If it's the thesis topic, inquire about changing it. You sound excited about your field so I'm assuming it's not about courses or general content, but maybe there is something there that bothers your advisor too. Work it out with him and get his advice about correcting the problem. At the same time, you could try discreetly seeking the advice of the person who said you show exceptional promise, as a potential future advisor or mentor. The most important point I want to make is not to read too much into this unpleasant interaction. Take it as an opportunity to fix whatever is not working between you and your advisor. Treat it as a professional interaction without any personal content -- which I think is all that it was.

Thanks for your insight. I'm sure you are absolutely correct that I took this too personally and that is definitely a flaw of mine in general. I think part of my reaction is that, to be honest, I don't think he is particularly committed to me as an advisee. As I mentioned in a previous post, it is hard to get him to take the time to discuss my ideas and plans- the conversation we had today only happened at all because he had me follow him to lunch in a spare 20 minutes he had before class. I feel pretty disrespected that he picked a moment where he was wolfing down his lunch and about to run out the door to tell me that he doesn't think I am committed- it didn't allow me to ask him to elaborate OR defend myself.

I also think you hit the nail on the head with the issue of my thesis topic. It's true, I am NOT 100% enthused and I honestly feel like I may have accepted my offer under somewhat misleading pretenses. When I interviewed with him, he told me that I would be able to do a field work with him and have a particular focus. Now, that is not panning out and I am not being given the research opportunities I thought I would be.

I think I will take your advice and seek out the advice of another potential advisor. It sucks to admit this myself, by I think my advisor and I are just a bad match in general- both in terms of research interests and in terms of personality.

At this moment, I am not planning to continue with a PhD. It's not out of the question in the future, but since I am working on two masters degrees I don't want to rush into a PhD immediately afterwards. Unfortunately, I don't know of anyone in the department who has switched advisors, which makes me worry that it is frowned upon. However, our department handbook does allow for it so I imagine it MUST come up occasionally. I do hope to talk to him about this more, but he is difficult to pin down or communicate with. Thanks for your response!

rising_star

I don't interpret what you said as your advisor hating you. That said, if you want to change advisors, you should. It's definitely not too late. Talk to your department's DGS about how to do this and identify some professors that you would want to work with AND that are willing to work with you.

FWIW, I considered changing advisors during my MA and that was at the end of my second semester. I decided not to because I realized that for the work I wanted to do, the advisor I had was the best person. That isn't to say that we always got along or that she was always thrilled with my research and progress. But, she was willing to let me get what I wanted out of the degree and didn't force me to do things that didn't make sense for the kind of scholar I wanted to be.

Okay, now that I've said all that. You really do need to try to arrange a sitdown conversation with your advisor. I know that a lot of people meet with their advisors weekly or every other week, but I've never had that kind of relationship with either my MA or PhD advisors. Basically, I meet with them when I want ro have time or because they want to. That's what works for me. If that isn't what works for you, that could be part of the reason you want to find a new advisor. If you do go that route, find out about that person's advising style *before* you commit.

ETA: Whoo, my 2900th post here. Wow!

I would say treat this like a job. In a job, you can't switch supervisors. I would email and ask for a scheduled meeting to continue the discussion. Go in willing to listen. Ask for clarification on the critique, and ask what your advisor is looking for. Discuss your goals for your MA, and ask your advisor if they feel they are the right person to support those goals. Try to leave the emotion out, and try to have an open mind. It could be there is a miscommunication somewhere, it could be your advisor thinks you have different goals than you actually do, it could be you and your advisor just aren't a good fit. I would try for a professional conversation before going to the director or requesting a switch. If the conversation doesn't go well, then I would request the switch. I was in a very small program so we only had one advisor.

Tall Chai Latte

What you described reminded me of a rotation I had with a professor. The situation was very similar, and she blamed me for "not being committed" because the experiments I assigned to do did not work out within the first two weeks I was there (I was only given three weeks total to rotate). Luckily it was only a rotation and we really rubbed each other the wrong way. Having to deal with the bad evaluation she wrote later on was not pleasant.

Elizabeth Reed

I agree with what I take to be the general message of previous comments: the most important thing is that you handle this professionally. I don't think you need to make a decision about switching just yet. You can try following up with him, see how it goes, and continue mulling over the options during your attempt to establish a better working relationship with him. Then reevaluate your options after you see how that goes. Here's my advice, FWIW: start by emailing your advisor to request a meeting. This email is an opportunity to shape his perception of you, so I would use it as such. Don't convey any shock, hurt feelings, etc. Instead, say something along the lines of (1) you appreciated the candor of his remark about your commitment, and (2) you would appreciate the opportunity to discuss this further. With respect to (2) try to be neither defensive nor self-deprecating -- you don't have to give any indication of whether you think his perception is correct or not -- instead frame your interest in learning more as one motivated by an eagerness to grow and learn (in other words, you want to discuss this because you're *always* looking for ways to improve and you take criticism as a valuable learning opportunity). I don't think it matters that much exactly what you say in your email as long as you maintain a professional tone. Remember, academia is a harsh place and thick skin is required to survive in it!

If he blows you off (doesn't reply, gives you 5 minutes in between his other commitments, etc.) you will have gathered more data about his willingness to invest some of his time in working with you, and you will have demonstrated an adroit response to criticism. If he doesn't blow you off, then carry the same professional demeanor into your meeting with him. I would try to hear him out, keep your composure even if what he says feels harsh, and avoid any defensiveness. You're not likely to change his mind by pointing out that he's wrong (even if he is), so your best bet is to try to impress him with how you receive the criticism - maturely (you nod and say "I see what you're saying" or "I understand how it could seem that way" etc etc) not dramatically (displaying anger, hurt feelings, crushing disappointment, etc).

In terms of your feeling misled...since he sounds like the I'm-such-a-big-shot-I-can't-be-bothered type, I doubt you'll get far by voicing that complaint. I'd say either find a way to get the most out of whatever projects you actually can work on with him, or switch advisors. If there's no way you can work up some more enthusiasm for anything other than a project he's not going to give you, then I don't see how you're going to get along with him. It does sound like he might be a Mr. Important type, but even if he's a pompous jerk there's still something to be said for looking at things from his perspective. He most likely IS very busy and really does have overwhelming demands on his time. He doesn't want to deal with students who aren't self-motivated, taking initiative, showing enthusiasm, putting in a lot of time and effort, and so on. If he senses that you aren't into the work you're doing with him, he probably finds that irritating or at least a reason to be dismissive. Even nice, generous-with-time profs often have that sort of reaction.

OK that's way more rambling than I intended. Whatever you decide to do, hope it works out for you and best of luck!

Oops, one more thing I forgot to mention...

In terms of hearing him out about the commitment thing: I think it would be totally appropriate and OK for you to be straightforward and direct with him about the fact that your enthusiasm hasn't been at 100%. I wouldn't say, "I don't seem committed because I'm not very enthusiastic about the project since it's not at all like what you said I could work on with you." But I might say something like, "Your comment gave me pause, and I realized after assessing my level of enthusiasm that I actually haven't felt very invested in this particular project" followed by either "I've been thinking about your paper on Topic X in Journal Y, and I am very interested in the question of how Z relates to X; do you think it would be possible for me to focus on a project around that?" or (only if it's a least kinda true!) "I've been thinking about the project more since I had that realization, and now I'm looking at it as an opportunity to learn more about Method P, which will help me in the future because I can apply it to Topic Q."

juilletmercredi

Given that you said you only had about 20 minutes while your advisor is distracted, I agree that you need to email him to set up a meeting - a real one, one that lasts at least 30 minutes and is you two sitting down and talking. If he refuses to give you 30 minutes of undistracted time, then perhaps you do need another advisor.

If he will give the time, though, I think you need to very straightforwardly ask him why he thinks you are not committed. What, to him, is exhibiting commitment? Is he a reasonable person, or is he one of those "if you're not working 100 hours a week then you are not committed"? Think about his feedback critically, separating your own hurt emotions from it. It's entirely possible that he simply dislikes you and that he's saying this because he dislikes you, but it's just as possible (without knowing more about the situation) that he is truly trying to help you and that you *aren't* showing commitment. Before you run immediately to changing, try to engage in a dialogue with your advisor. Why doesn't he think you are showing commitment? What can you do to show more commitment? What kinds of things does he expect you to do?

Then if he gives you those answers, you can assess your next steps. If they seem like reasonable criticisms and you are willing to change, you can make the necessary changes. Or you may decide that you really do want to switch, but at least you will have full information and a reason why when you go to your DGS.

FWIW, I had a friend in our MPH program who changed her advisor in March of her second year. She had significant difficulties with her previous advisor, and needed to make the switch. It did take her the summer to graduate - so she got her MPH in October instead of May. I don't think the spring of your first year is too late to change, but I think you need to have a concrete, clear reason for switching advisors aside from just a general unease with this person.

Thanks a ton for all your responses- they've all been very helpful. I will be seeing him tomorrow, and it will be interesting to see if we can sit down and have a real conversation or if he will be distracted/scattered again. I did also email two other professors in the department and express interest in meeting with them to discuss what I phrased as "general career/advising questions."

Tomorrow I will also be getting coffee with one of my advisors older students. Interestingly enough, the same day that words were exchanged with my advisor she contacted me and said that she felt like she hadn't been as helpful as she should have been during my first semesters in the program and that she "wanted to make it up to me." Of course, this makes me suspicious that he may have said something to her, which (if I am correct) makes me further doubt the condition of our professional relationship.

Anyway, we shall see...

St Andrews Lynx

If your advisor spoke with the older student about you then that's not necessarily a bad thing. The way I interpret this: your advisor thinks you could benefit from more guidance and asked the older student to help mentor you through the project a bit more. That is a good thing. It suggests he has not "given up" on you and is looking for ways to help you improve your performance in his group.

Whilst working in industry I had a European supervisor who was blunt on several occasions about the weaknesses he perceived in me. My first instinct was to be stung by the comments, but I realised that he did not mean to be negative and wasn't criticising me personally - he wanted to help me. We ended up having a great working relationship with really high levels of mutual respect, simply because we were both honest about ourselves and didn't take professional feedback personally.

One of the things that I haven't seen mentioned is that I would see a disconnect between what you are focusing on (grades, departmental events, serving on a committee) and what your professor likely is (your research).

I've seen a lot of our first years come in and focus way too much on coursework, and other things, and do well- but not get great feedback from faculty. And it's because they're not focusing nearly enough on the research relative to the other things.

At least in my field, a 4.0 is nice, but a 3.6 and productive research is much better.

Chai_latte , TakeruK and St Andrews Lynx

I don't think this is a bad thing, either. In my experience, research groups work on a mentorship level, and it's not necessarily limited to mentoring between prof and grad student. If a prof is worried that their younger/junior students are falling behind, it totally makes sense for a busy prof to ask the more experienced senior students to lend a hand, or maybe talk to you and figure out what's going on. If you feel disconnected from your prof, chances are, the prof feels disconnected from you too. Maybe the prof feels that their entire research group (which might only include this other student) isn't as well connected to each other as he/she would like, so they are encouraging this by getting their group members to talk to each other more.

In my opinion, the "professional relationship" protects things like the reason for a personal leave of absence, or your exact grades in a course etc. I don't think it's unprofessional for a prof to discuss with their senior students (or other profs) how they feel you are performing at research or classes in general (i.e. a comment like "Student X is really committed to classes but I really wish he/she would prioritize research more" or "Student X could use some guidance on performing literature reviews" etc.), as long as there is good reason (e.g. mentorship/asking for someone to help out) instead of just gossip.

As for changing advisors, I don't think it's too late. I know people who have completely changed projects after an entire year of their Masters. They finished about 1 semester later, but that's not necessarily the end of the world (this was in Canada where the new advisors agreed to continue funding the student even past the standard 2 years of guaranteed funding -- so if you currently have funding now, perhaps you should also ask a potential new advisor what would happen after 2 years are up!)

1Q84 and St Andrews Lynx

I missed this prior to replying, but I think an older student taking you out to coffee is a great thing. You didn't mention if they were another masters student or a PhD student- if the latter, I would think it's quite common to have PhD students help oversee masters students, especially senior ones.

It goes without saying in our research group that the older grad students will help mentor the newer ones.

And it's definitely not, imo, a breach of a professional relationship for a PI to discuss, as TakeruK said, generalities about his younger advisees with the senior ones. From my experience, it's actually quite common.

It's both a way of preparing the older grad students to be mentors, especially if they're going on into academia, as well as getting their help or input.

1 year later...

I think it is sad that so many grad students have to put up with bad advisors who have no idea how to interact with actual human beings. I have seen students on medication because they can't seem to get along with their advisor. This goes beyond needing to produce a professional dissertation. If it was just a matter of having more references or expanding a section of the writing it might be OK. Too often I see professors who are petty and vain, give conflicting advice and even steal their advisees work. I feel strongly that there need to be some sort of monitoring of advisors to ensure the quality of what they do. These professors are in charge of our country, and often the worlds future educators, researchers and leaders. Do we really want to leave that all up to chance? We know they have knowledge related to their field, but that does not mean they automatically know how to be a good advisor. Counselors receive extensive training on how to advise their clients on important issues and are also subject to ongoing clinical supervision of their work to ensure continued quality. However, academic advisors have no training, and no regular supervision. Why is this OK?

I'm not really sure what this has to do with an 18 month old thread, that really doesn't address the discussion at hand.

That said, PIs (not to be conflated with academic advisors, which are a different thing altogether) are not counselors. They're not "advisors". They're CEO's of a small company, of which the students are employees, with according seniority.

Most departments also have people with some training as advisors- either academic advisors, which may or may not be faculty, or the departments graduate coordinator/graduate advisor.

That said, while it sucks, having a range of people who you can and can't work with isn't any different in any other segment of the workforce. Some managers/bosses/PIs/supervisors are antisocial/sociopathic, but you still have to learn how to either learn to deal with them, or learn how to avoid them. At least, unlike most of the workforce, as a graduate student you get to *choose* your advisor. And you can *choose* to drop them and find another one. Sadly, many graduate students make bad choices about who to work for, and continue to work for them far longer than is productive.

Well, advisors/professors are human. And like most other humans, many of them are excellent at some aspects of their job and not others. Some professors are amazing teachers and terrible grant-writers; some professors are great mentors but terrible teachers; some professors are amazing researchers but terrible mentors.

I also think the impact of this is overblown. There's no evidence to believe that most or a significant chunk of graduate students have terrible advisors who don't know how to interact with human beings. Some advisors may be awkward at mentoring, but that doesn't mean they can't interact with people.

I think this is also an ideal time to say that your PI will NOT necessarily be your "mentor." An advisor for research purposes is actually quite different and not necessarily completely overlapping with a mentor. Some PIs are not interested in mentoring their graduate students, although they may be quite competent in guiding you in research and dissertation writing. Many grad students will have to seek formal and informal mentors in people other than their PI.

Professors do not have regular training and supervision in advising because that is not the core of what they do, or even a significant portion of their jobs in relation to everything else. They're definitely not clinicians or counselors. I think that while sometimes some advisors are awkward and maybe even downright mean, many graduate students also misinterpret the role of an advisor this way. He's an advisor because he gives you advice on your graduate program - but that is NOT the same thing as a counselor, who is there to support you emotionally. If your advisor cares about your emotional needs, that's kind of a bonus.

And frankly, at many institutions the department doesn't really care about the quality of their mentorship. They care about the grant money and funding they get, and the research they put out. If a notoriously terrible advisor is also productive and their graduate students are graduating steadily, that's seen as a win for the department. I mean, they don't want advisors who are actively scaring people into quitting and putting all of their students on anti-anxiety medication - but one who meets with students once a semester and never responds to emails? Eh, if he's producing.

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7 Signs Your Boss Hates You (and How to Handle It)

This article is from our friends at DailyWorth , a premier site on all things related to money, career, and entrepreneurship.

Ever had a co-worker you just couldn't stand? Your dislike probably biased you when it came to judging his or her work, right? Well, imagine what happens when it's the boss who dislikes someone.

If your boss has a bias against you (whether it’s conscious or not), it can color all her interactions with you—whether it's not giving you the same amount of coaching and development that she puts in with more favored team members, giving you less interesting or lower-profile assignments, or not recognizing what you’re doing well. It can even affect how you’re compensated and whether you ultimately keep your job. But it can be tricky to figure out whether your boss has legitimate beef with your work—or just a beef with you .

Here are seven revealing signs that your boss just isn’t that into you and what to do about it.

1. You’re Being Micromanaged

She’s checking up on your work before it’s due, dictating details that she should trust you to figure out, and generally displaying a lack of confidence that you’ll do your job well.

What to Do About It

First, make sure your boss doesn’t treat everyone else this way, too. While that would still be a problem (because micromanagement is unpleasant to experience and will generally make you less productive), that would indicate it’s not about you at all, but just an example of poor management skills.

If the behavior seems isolated to her relationship with you, ask yourself whether you’ve done anything to warrant the lack of confidence. Have you been dropping the ball on tasks or making significant errors? If so, then realize that a good manager should get more closely involved—because ultimately her job is to ensure that the work is done well, and you’ve given her reason not to take that on faith. If not, then it’s time to ask her if there’s anything you’re doing that makes her feel she can’t trust you and how you can work with more autonomy.

Try suggesting other ways to keep her in the loop, such as weekly reports or weekly meetings, so that she doesn’t feel she needs to check in as much. And if she’s resistant to that, ask if she’d be willing to experiment with giving you more autonomy on one specific project to see how it goes.

2. You Never Get Feedback

Some managers are just bad at giving positive feedback, but if he praises others and leaves you unrecognized, that’s a sign that it reflects something about his assessment of you.

Try asking for feedback directly , saying something like, “I’d love to hear about what you think is going well and where I could focus on doing better.” Or, if that feels too daunting, try asking for feedback on a smaller scale; for instance, ask to debrief a recent project, share your assessment of what went well and what could have gone better, and ask for your manager’s thoughts. Then, listen to what he says. His response will give you more insight on how he sees you—which is helpful information for you to have, whether or not you agree with his assessment.

3. You Get Turned Down for a Raise Without Much Explanation

Turning down your raise request isn’t the sign of a problem on its own, since there can be reasons that have nothing to do with you, like budget constraints. But if your manager values you, she’ll explain why she can’t grant the raise, and often explain when you can expect an increase in the future or how to earn one.

Ask something like, “What would it take for me to earn a raise in the future?” A manager who’s invested in retaining you and who believes in your value should be willing to talk with you specifically about what you’d need to do to hear “yes” next time . If that doesn’t happen, then as with some other flags on this list, this is a data point for you to factor into your overall thinking about whether you should stay in this job.

4. You Can’t Get Your Manager’s Attention

She regularly cancels your meetings, forgets to return your calls and emails, and generally doesn’t seem to have you anywhere on her priority list.

Does she treat everyone like this or primarily you? If it’s the former, she may just be flighty (or overwhelmed). But if you’re a particularly low priority, talk to her. Tell her that getting a chance to talk at least once a week is important to you, and ask if there’s a way to have the meetings happen more reliably.

Would it help to change the day they’re scheduled for? Or would she be more able to make them happen if you both committed to a particular day without nailing down a specific time period, so that she has a larger window of time to make them happen? Or something else?

You can also be more assertive about following up when the meeting doesn’t happen. The day after a missed meeting, go back to her: “We didn’t get a chance to meet yesterday. Do you have a few minutes to talk this morning?”

5. You’re Left Out of Important Meetings

Does your manager meet with your colleagues to discuss key updates or projects that you’re a part of when you’re not there? Do you hear after the fact about decisions that were made that you should have had input on?

Approach your manager directly to address the problem. But don’t be accusatory; you’ll get better results if you work from the assumption that it was an oversight to be corrected, rather than an intentional exclusion. For example, you could say, “I would have liked to have been included in the meeting this morning on the Smith account, since I’m working closely with them. I noticed I haven’t been included in several account meetings recently. What can I do to ensure that I’m part of those discussions in the future?”

6. Your Boss Continuously Criticizes Your Work

Everyone hears criticism sometimes . But if your manager regularly and harshly takes issue with your work and nothing you do seems to please her, that’s a big red flag for the relationship.

In the short-term, you might try putting extra energy into getting aligned about expectations at the start of a project. Try talking through exactly what a successful outcome would look like, and afterwards email her a summary of what you both agreed to with a note like, “Just want to make sure we're on the same page.” That type of upfront alignment can boost your chances of a project going smoothly.

It might also be worth having a direct conversation about what you're noticing to try and understand what’s going on. Say something like: “I want to have a strong working relationship with you, and I hoped you could give me some feedback. I have the sense that you might not be happy with my work, and I wonder if we can talk about where I’m going wrong?” This might bring to the surface issues that you can work on changing.

But in the long-term, if your boss truly dislikes you or your work, you’re probably better off going somewhere where you’re valued.

7. Your Boss Doesn’t Seem to Care if You Leave

Smart bosses will go to great lengths to keep an employee they really value—but they won’t object when an employee they don’t much care for considers leaving.

If your boss doesn’t value you much, you’re less likely to get the kinds of mentoring, raises, professional development opportunities, and high-profile or interesting projects that a boss who is firmly in your corner might offer. It can also make you more likely to end up at the top of the list if your company has layoffs. However it manifests, working for a boss who doesn’t care if you stay or go isn’t great for your career, so factor it into your thinking as you consider your timeline for your next career move.

Photo of co-workers meeting courtesy of Shutterstock .

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Advisor refuses to let me get my Master’s after my thesis defense

I am currently a Master’s and PhD student. I am in my last semester of my Master’s program. After a year of being in the PhD program, I have realized that academia is not for me. I received a job offer and notified my advisor of me leaving the PhD. This happened after I finished my thesis defense and after they signed off on the thesis defense paperwork. I also submitted my final thesis pdf to the graduate school portal. After I told him about me leaving, he got angry with the people that hired me (he knows them and works with them before). Not only that, he refuses to approve my final thesis pdf even though I already finished my defense and everything. Grad school has been emailing me and wondering when they will receive his approval on my final thesis pdf as it has already been pending for more than a week. He also sent an email including all committee members saying that if I am not continuing research to fix “flaws and limitations,” he had to withdraw his signature.

I am under extreme stress from my advisor because it looks like he is trying to force me into the PhD program. I talked to the people from my job, and they are very understanding and think he is unreasonable. I also went to a graduate school counselor to ask for help. She said that she would contact the dean and get back with me. Do you think that the dean can help me on this and that I will still be able to receive my Master’s degree? I am feeling hopeless and feel like I am being pressured into doing a PhD when I don’t want to.

UPDATE ON THE OUTCOME: After about a month of fighting my case and getting both the dean of my department and dean of graduate school involved, the dean of graduate school decided to let me graduate this semester. The department chair wasn’t of much help as they told me to do another semester with my advisor. The graduate school people took over my case and handled it so my advisor wouldn’t have any leverage or power over me. I am very grateful because the dean made the decision to let me graduate just 2 weeks before my graduation day. It’s great to know there’s still justice in our system.

2 I assume your thesis process involved a defense that you "passed" on the condition that you complete some corrections/revisions? If so, it could become complicated to mount a defense of yourself if the advisor insists your corrections are insufficient. Your program or the graduate school may have a manual describing the relevant procedures if you are found not to pass (or whether it is possible to get this far and not pass). Of course, I am taking your word on the question of whether the necessary conditions have actually been met. – commscho Commented Apr 20, 2022 at 4:13
6 The problem is he already edited my thesis and allowed me to submit it. After I told him about me leaving, strange things started to happen. He didn’t have a problem when I first submitted it. – Anonymous Commented Apr 20, 2022 at 11:15
29 Yes, the dean is exactly the right person to help. If a faculty member displeases the dean then the dean can make life hard for them for a long time after you depart. – Buffy Commented Apr 20, 2022 at 18:58
3 Sounds like a bad situation. "I am in my last semester of my Master’s program. After a year of being in the PhD program..." How is that possible? Are you in the Masters & PhD program simultaneously? – Daniel R. Collins Commented Apr 21, 2022 at 0:57
6 Thank you all. I am graduating today! – Anonymous Commented May 13, 2022 at 13:58

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Hate my submitted thesis

I just submitted my thesis last night, and I just feel really really disappointed in it. I was still editing until basically the last minute, my supervisor hasn’t seen a draft of anything at all in months, and there just wasn’t really time to incorporate any substantial feedback anyway. And there are parts of it that I already know are not great but I just never got the chance to make them how they should be. And I had two covid extensions. One general one that they applied months ago and then I had an extra month because I actually caught covid 10 before submitting (it would have been even more shit if I submitted it back then).

I just feel like I should feel accomplished or proud or something. I’ve seen loads of pics from people in my cohort after they submitted with bottles of champagne looking so pleased that they’ve made it and they’re going to be a PhD. And I just don’t feel that way about mine.

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COMMENTS

Am I being bullied by my master thesis supervisors?
The thesis distribution is done by my supervisor, who also owns the masters programme itself. I talked to a study advisor, she was clueless too because the people you would approach are my supervisors. ... Because why should I do anything if my supervisor hates everything I do? I was just staring at my papers with no thought in my had. I had to ...
Doomed Thesis? Supervisor is totally ignoring me. : r/GradSchool
Supervisor is totally ignoring me. I'll try to keep this story short. Let me preface by saying that is totally my fault to start with. I'm currently in the USA, but I [was] an international Masters student in Australia, and basically I kinda got discouraged while working on my thesis, cause I felt like supervisor wasn't giving it enough ...
advisor
Everybody hates the advisor after the first few revisions (I hated mine), and does not see the point. ... When my supervisor reads what I read, he spots errors I didn't spot. When I read things my supervisor wrote, I spot errors he didn't spot. When I read things I've given 3 people to check for mistakes, and re-read myself twice, I find errors ...
I think my potential master thesis supervisor hates me
I think my potential master thesis supervisor hates me. I feel like the supervisor I'm interested in working with hates me. I'm the only international person in the group and I feel like I have trouble getting along with the others. I don't go for lunch with them and when we do go out in the evenings, I'm left out of conversations when they ...
How to Cope with a Problematic PhD Supervisor
Problem 1: A lack of contact. The first common problem is simply a lack of contact. This is especially common if you're doing a PhD remotely and you're entirely dependent on email for communication. Sometimes this isn't entirely the supervisor's fault. Often I speak to students who say they emailed the supervisor three months ago but ...
5 Mistakes Your Thesis Supervisor May Never Forgive
Mistake #3: Working on a side project without your supervisor's approval. While you are expected to take leadership of your thesis, if you are using your thesis supervisor's funding and resources, they still "own" the project. In addition, they are responsible for the research in their group, and they need to make sure that it is ...
How to get great thesis supervision
Here are some tips on where to start: 1. Check out their profile on their chair's website (many people list research interests there). 2. Take a look at their publications: if they have not ...
How to build a relationship with your supervisor before the thesis work
Determine what you need from the relationship. Before you meet with your supervisor, and before your studies begin, it is useful to determine what you need from your supervisor-supervisee relationship. This will vary depending on your field, program and thesis project type. If your work is in a natural scientific field and is lab-based, you ...
15 things to remember if you've started to hate your PhD
8. Remind Yourself That PhDs Are Hard. Finding your PhD hard is kind of the point. Repeat after me: if you're finding your PhD hard it doesn't mean you're a failure, it means you're doing it right. Life is hard: commitments, bills, family, suffering, loss and day-to-day stresses. Life and doing a PhD is doubly hard.
4 Signs Your PhD Advisor Is Mistreating You and What to Do About It
Funnily enough, that is how some PhD advisors mistreat students. This type of behavior is called love bombing. First, they will shower potential candidates with praises, telling them they are unlike other students they've worked with. They will lure you with promises of publications and prestigious institutions.
I hate my PhD supervisors. Is it worth even continuing?
To the OP, a step back and evaluation of your priorities and future plans will definitely help. If you're happy with the current consulting role, stick with it for a bit longer until you're ready for academics again. I hate my PhD advisor and wish I had quit. I pushed myself to finish my PhD - it's not worth it.
What to Do if Your PhD Advisor is Ignoring You
4. Complain. If you still feel your PhD advisor is ignoring you, then it is time to bring your concerns to the attention of your academic advisor and perhaps the program director (or whatever title your school uses). Schools do not like to have students complain and when they do they usually take action.
What To Do When Your Academic Advisor Mistreats You
If someone above you in academia is treating you like dirt, there are 9 things you can do to make your situation better. 1. Conceal your goals. As soon as I told my advisor that I wanted to move into industry, he was done with me. He withdrew his support and did everything he could to block me from graduating.
How I broke up with my supervisor.
My summary of her description is this: Don't talk to anyone, don't write anything non-academic. The topic is not what is important - all that matters is getting finished and being able then to move on to something interesting and collaborative. If I asked a question, expect to be told to find my own answer.
I think my advisor hates me.
Go in willing to listen. Ask for clarification on the critique, and ask what your advisor is looking for. Discuss your goals for your MA, and ask your advisor if they feel they are the right person to support those goals. Try to leave the emotion out, and try to have an open mind.
Thesis supervisor tore my proposal to shreds : r/academia
Survey posts must be approved by mods in advance, must include contact/IRB info, and must be specific to academia. Thesis supervisor tore my proposal to shreds. I'm a masters student. I submitted my research proposal recently. My supervisor looked at it, and wrote some pretty mean, unconstructive comments, and nothing good.
7 Signs Your Boss Hates You (and How to Handle It)
Here are seven revealing signs that your boss just isn't that into you and what to do about it. 1. You're Being Micromanaged. She's checking up on your work before it's due, dictating details that she should trust you to figure out, and generally displaying a lack of confidence that you'll do your job well.
My Thesis Supervisor Hates Me
My Thesis Supervisor Hates Me - Free download as PDF File (.pdf), Text File (.txt) or read online for free. Scribd is the world's largest social reading and publishing site.
Advisor refuses to let me get my Master's after my thesis defense
I am in my last semester of my Master's program. After a year of being in the PhD program, I have realized that academia is not for me. I received a job offer and notified my advisor of me leaving the PhD. This happened after I finished my thesis defense and after they signed off on the thesis defense paperwork.
Hate my submitted thesis : r/PhD
Hate my submitted thesis. I just submitted my thesis last night, and I just feel really really disappointed in it. I was still editing until basically the last minute, my supervisor hasn't seen a draft of anything at all in months, and there just wasn't really time to incorporate any substantial feedback anyway.