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How to Write the Community Essay – Guide with Examples (2023-24)

September 6, 2023

Students applying to college this year will inevitably confront the community essay. In fact, most students will end up responding to several community essay prompts for different schools. For this reason, you should know more than simply how to approach the community essay as a genre. Rather, you will want to learn how to decipher the nuances of each particular prompt, in order to adapt your response appropriately. In this article, we’ll show you how to do just that, through several community essay examples. These examples will also demonstrate how to avoid cliché and make the community essay authentically and convincingly your own.

Emphasis on Community

Do keep in mind that inherent in the word “community” is the idea of multiple people. The personal statement already provides you with a chance to tell the college admissions committee about yourself as an individual. The community essay, however, suggests that you depict yourself among others. You can use this opportunity to your advantage by showing off interpersonal skills, for example. Or, perhaps you wish to relate a moment that forged important relationships. This in turn will indicate what kind of connections you’ll make in the classroom with college peers and professors.

Apart from comprising numerous people, a community can appear in many shapes and sizes. It could be as small as a volleyball team, or as large as a diaspora. It could fill a town soup kitchen, or spread across five boroughs. In fact, due to the internet, certain communities today don’t even require a physical place to congregate. Communities can form around a shared identity, shared place, shared hobby, shared ideology, or shared call to action. They can even arise due to a shared yet unforeseen circumstance.

What is the Community Essay All About?             

In a nutshell, the community essay should exhibit three things:

• An aspect of yourself, 2. in the context of a community you belonged to, and 3. how this experience may shape your contribution to the community you’ll join in college.

It may look like a fairly simple equation: 1 + 2 = 3. However, each college will word their community essay prompt differently, so it’s important to look out for additional variables. One college may use the community essay as a way to glimpse your core values. Another may use the essay to understand how you would add to diversity on campus. Some may let you decide in which direction to take it—and there are many ways to go!

To get a better idea of how the prompts differ, let’s take a look at some real community essay prompts from the current admission cycle.

Sample 2023-2024 Community Essay Prompts

1) brown university.

“Students entering Brown often find that making their home on College Hill naturally invites reflection on where they came from. Share how an aspect of your growing up has inspired or challenged you, and what unique contributions this might allow you to make to the Brown community. (200-250 words)”

A close reading of this prompt shows that Brown puts particular emphasis on place. They do this by using the words “home,” “College Hill,” and “where they came from.” Thus, Brown invites writers to think about community through the prism of place. They also emphasize the idea of personal growth or change, through the words “inspired or challenged you.” Therefore, Brown wishes to see how the place you grew up in has affected you. And, they want to know how you in turn will affect their college community.

“NYU was founded on the belief that a student’s identity should not dictate the ability for them to access higher education. That sense of opportunity for all students, of all backgrounds, remains a part of who we are today and a critical part of what makes us a world-class university. Our community embraces diversity, in all its forms, as a cornerstone of the NYU experience.

We would like to better understand how your experiences would help us to shape and grow our diverse community. Please respond in 250 words or less.”

Here, NYU places an emphasis on students’ “identity,” “backgrounds,” and “diversity,” rather than any physical place. (For some students, place may be tied up in those ideas.) Furthermore, while NYU doesn’t ask specifically how identity has changed the essay writer, they do ask about your “experience.” Take this to mean that you can still recount a specific moment, or several moments, that work to portray your particular background. You should also try to link your story with NYU’s values of inclusivity and opportunity.

3) University of Washington

“Our families and communities often define us and our individual worlds. Community might refer to your cultural group, extended family, religious group, neighborhood or school, sports team or club, co-workers, etc. Describe the world you come from and how you, as a product of it, might add to the diversity of the UW. (300 words max) Tip: Keep in mind that the UW strives to create a community of students richly diverse in cultural backgrounds, experiences, values and viewpoints.”

UW ’s community essay prompt may look the most approachable, for they help define the idea of community. You’ll notice that most of their examples (“families,” “cultural group, extended family, religious group, neighborhood”…) place an emphasis on people. This may clue you in on their desire to see the relationships you’ve made. At the same time, UW uses the words “individual” and “richly diverse.” They, like NYU, wish to see how you fit in and stand out, in order to boost campus diversity.

Writing Your First Community Essay

Begin by picking which community essay you’ll write first. (For practical reasons, you’ll probably want to go with whichever one is due earliest.) Spend time doing a close reading of the prompt, as we’ve done above. Underline key words. Try to interpret exactly what the prompt is asking through these keywords.

Next, brainstorm. I recommend doing this on a blank piece of paper with a pencil. Across the top, make a row of headings. These might be the communities you’re a part of, or the components that make up your identity. Then, jot down descriptive words underneath in each column—whatever comes to you. These words may invoke people and experiences you had with them, feelings, moments of growth, lessons learned, values developed, etc. Now, narrow in on the idea that offers the richest material and that corresponds fully with the prompt.

Lastly, write! You’ll definitely want to describe real moments, in vivid detail. This will keep your essay original, and help you avoid cliché. However, you’ll need to summarize the experience and answer the prompt succinctly, so don’t stray too far into storytelling mode.

How To Adapt Your Community Essay

Once your first essay is complete, you’ll need to adapt it to the other colleges involving community essays on your list. Again, you’ll want to turn to the prompt for a close reading, and recognize what makes this prompt different from the last. For example, let’s say you’ve written your essay for UW about belonging to your swim team, and how the sports dynamics shaped you. Adapting that essay to Brown’s prompt could involve more of a focus on place. You may ask yourself, how was my swim team in Alaska different than the swim teams we competed against in other states?

Once you’ve adapted the content, you’ll also want to adapt the wording to mimic the prompt. For example, let’s say your UW essay states, “Thinking back to my years in the pool…” As you adapt this essay to Brown’s prompt, you may notice that Brown uses the word “reflection.” Therefore, you might change this sentence to “Reflecting back on my years in the pool…” While this change is minute, it cleverly signals to the reader that you’ve paid attention to the prompt, and are giving that school your full attention.

What to Avoid When Writing the Community Essay  

• Avoid cliché. Some students worry that their idea is cliché, or worse, that their background or identity is cliché. However, what makes an essay cliché is not the content, but the way the content is conveyed. This is where your voice and your descriptions become essential.
• Avoid giving too many examples. Stick to one community, and one or two anecdotes arising from that community that allow you to answer the prompt fully.
• Don’t exaggerate or twist facts. Sometimes students feel they must make themselves sound more “diverse” than they feel they are. Luckily, diversity is not a feeling. Likewise, diversity does not simply refer to one’s heritage. If the prompt is asking about your identity or background, you can show the originality of your experiences through your actions and your thinking.

Community Essay Examples and Analysis

Brown university community essay example.

I used to hate the NYC subway. I’ve taken it since I was six, going up and down Manhattan, to and from school. By high school, it was a daily nightmare. Spending so much time underground, underneath fluorescent lighting, squashed inside a rickety, rocking train car among strangers, some of whom wanted to talk about conspiracy theories, others who had bedbugs or B.O., or who manspread across two seats, or bickered—it wore me out. The challenge of going anywhere seemed absurd. I dreaded the claustrophobia and disgruntlement.

Yet the subway also inspired my understanding of community. I will never forget the morning I saw a man, several seats away, slide out of his seat and hit the floor. The thump shocked everyone to attention. What we noticed: he appeared drunk, possibly homeless. I was digesting this when a second man got up and, through a sort of awkward embrace, heaved the first man back into his seat. The rest of us had stuck to subway social codes: don’t step out of line. Yet this second man’s silent actions spoke loudly. They said, “I care.”

That day I realized I belong to a group of strangers. What holds us together is our transience, our vulnerabilities, and a willingness to assist. This community is not perfect but one in motion, a perpetual work-in-progress. Now I make it my aim to hold others up. I plan to contribute to the Brown community by helping fellow students and strangers in moments of precariousness.    

Brown University Community Essay Example Analysis

Here the student finds an original way to write about where they come from. The subway is not their home, yet it remains integral to ideas of belonging. The student shows how a community can be built between strangers, in their responsibility toward each other. The student succeeds at incorporating key words from the prompt (“challenge,” “inspired” “Brown community,” “contribute”) into their community essay.

UW Community Essay Example

I grew up in Hawaii, a world bound by water and rich in diversity. In school we learned that this sacred land was invaded, first by Captain Cook, then by missionaries, whalers, traders, plantation owners, and the U.S. government. My parents became part of this problematic takeover when they moved here in the 90s. The first community we knew was our church congregation. At the beginning of mass, we shook hands with our neighbors. We held hands again when we sang the Lord’s Prayer. I didn’t realize our church wasn’t “normal” until our diocese was informed that we had to stop dancing hula and singing Hawaiian hymns. The order came from the Pope himself.

Eventually, I lost faith in God and organized institutions. I thought the banning of hula—an ancient and pure form of expression—seemed medieval, ignorant, and unfair, given that the Hawaiian religion had already been stamped out. I felt a lack of community and a distrust for any place in which I might find one. As a postcolonial inhabitant, I could never belong to the Hawaiian culture, no matter how much I valued it. Then, I was shocked to learn that Queen Ka’ahumanu herself had eliminated the Kapu system, a strict code of conduct in which women were inferior to men. Next went the Hawaiian religion. Queen Ka’ahumanu burned all the temples before turning to Christianity, hoping this religion would offer better opportunities for her people.

Community Essay (Continued)

I’m not sure what to make of this history. Should I view Queen Ka’ahumanu as a feminist hero, or another failure in her islands’ tragedy? Nothing is black and white about her story, but she did what she thought was beneficial to her people, regardless of tradition. From her story, I’ve learned to accept complexity. I can disagree with institutionalized religion while still believing in my neighbors. I am a product of this place and their presence. At UW, I plan to add to campus diversity through my experience, knowing that diversity comes with contradictions and complications, all of which should be approached with an open and informed mind.

UW Community Essay Example Analysis

This student also manages to weave in words from the prompt (“family,” “community,” “world,” “product of it,” “add to the diversity,” etc.). Moreover, the student picks one of the examples of community mentioned in the prompt, (namely, a religious group,) and deepens their answer by addressing the complexity inherent in the community they’ve been involved in. While the student displays an inner turmoil about their identity and participation, they find a way to show how they’d contribute to an open-minded campus through their values and intellectual rigor.

What’s Next

For more on supplemental essays and essay writing guides, check out the following articles:

• How to Write the Why This Major Essay + Example
• How to Write the Overcoming Challenges Essay + Example
• How to Start a College Essay – 12 Techniques and Tips
• College Essay

Kaylen Baker

With a BA in Literary Studies from Middlebury College, an MFA in Fiction from Columbia University, and a Master’s in Translation from Université Paris 8 Vincennes-Saint-Denis, Kaylen has been working with students on their writing for over five years. Previously, Kaylen taught a fiction course for high school students as part of Columbia Artists/Teachers, and served as an English Language Assistant for the French National Department of Education. Kaylen is an experienced writer/translator whose work has been featured in Los Angeles Review, Hybrid, San Francisco Bay Guardian, France Today, and Honolulu Weekly, among others.

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The Community Essay

“Duke University seeks a talented, engaged student body that embodies the wide range of human experience; we believe that the diversity of our students makes our community stronger. If you’d like to share a perspective you bring or experiences you’ve had to help us understand you better—perhaps related to a community you belong to, your sexual orientation or gender identity, or your family or cultural background—we encourage you to do so. Real people are reading your application, and we want to do our best to understand and appreciate the real people applying to Duke.” 

As with every essay you ship off to admissions – think about something you want admissions to know that hasn’t been represented. What can you expand upon to show your versatility, passion and ability to connect with the world around you?

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Written by CEA HQ

Category: Admissions , College Admissions , Essay Tips , Essay Writing , Supplemental Essays

Tags: admissions essay , admissions help , application , application supplement , applications , brainstorming , college admissions , college admissions essay , college application , college application help , college applications , college essay , common application , supplemental essays

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Writing a College Essay About Community and Examples

By Eric Eng

Writing a college essay about community is a common requirement in the series of essay prompts most colleges include alongside their Common Application. If you’re applying to multiple universities, you’ll notice that many of these essay topics overlap, although the wording is always different. 

One main reason for this is that all college admissions committees want to learn the same things about you. They’re all interested in learning more about who you are, what you’re interested in, what goals you have in the future, and why you’ve chosen to apply to this university. 

One of these prompts is a college essay about community. While it varies from college to college, the prompt will roughly sound like this:

Tell us a little about a community you consider yourself part of.

Each university will add its own spin or add-on question, but they’re all asking the same thing: what about your background has had a major impact on who you are today?

Here’s an actual example from Brown University to give you some context:

“Tell us about a place or community you call home. How has it shaped your perspective?”

Another example is from the University of Michigan : 

“Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it. ”

From Duke University:

“We seek a talented, engaged student body that embodies the wide range of human experience; we believe that the diversity of our students makes our community stronger. If you’d like to share a perspective you bring or experiences you’ve had to help us understand you better—perhaps related to a community you belong to, your sexual orientation or gender identity, or your family or cultural background—we encourage you to do so. Real people are reading your application, and we want to do our best to understand and appreciate the real people applying.”

At first glance, this college essay about community seems pretty easy. The question in itself is short and colleges typically only request a brief answer of a few hundred words. However, after you read the prompt a few more times, you might realize how open-ended it is. What are the best words to describe community ? 

How you answer this question depends on your perspective. You might choose to describe the literal community where you live, or you could interpret it more metaphorically to mean a group of people you identify with for a specific reason. 

For example, if you are a person of color, your community could be your cultural group. In some diversity essay examples , focusing on the sense of belonging in a foreign country could be an ideal angle to explore. If you are an international student , you might share how you found your community in a new country. Alternatively, you could see your weekly Dungeons & Dragons group in writing your college essay about community. Think about the groups or environments where you feel a sense of belonging and connection.

Regardless of how you interpret community, the primary thrust of the question remains the same. This is the perfect opportunity for you to talk more about who you are and how you interact with your community at large. 

Admissions officers aren’t only interested in how you can benefit from attending the university. They’re also interested to know what you’ll be able to offer students, teachers, and the larger school community. 

How to Write the Community Essay: Complete Guide (plus tips!)

While all college essays are an excellent time to show admissions officers why you’re a great fit for the school, the college essay about community is especially important. If you’re able to knock this essay out of the park, you can successfully convey to colleges how you would contribute to the school. Let’s look at 10 things to know before you write a college essay about the community to help you write the best response possible.

Decide what community you want to write about

Start by brainstorming the communities you are a part of. These can be defined by factors, such as:

The best tip that we could give you is to choose the community where you can share most about yourself. Think about the different “identities” you have and what groups of people you spend time with at school, work, or elsewhere. Don’t limit yourself to the literal definition of “community” if something truly resonates what your definition of “community” pops up.

Start outlining your essay with guide questions

As we’ve mentioned before, this college essay about community is an open-ended question. So take this as an opportunity for you to get creative! Reflect on your experiences and how they have shaped who you are today. Use these guide questions to help structure your thoughts and outline your essay:

• What specific actions did you take in that community? (Hint: use active verbs like “coordinated” and “led” to clearly describe your roles).
• What types of challenges did you address (on a personal, local, or global level)?
• What particular contributions did you make?
• What skills, qualities, or values did you acquire?
• How did you utilize the lessons learned within and beyond that community?

Don’t be afraid to get personal

All college essay prompts are designed to help admissions officers get to know you better. So a college essay about community is one of the best places to accomplish this goal. One advice we can give students is to get personal! Don’t be afraid to show off your quirky side, something unique about you, a little bit about your background, and everything that makes you…well, you !

Although the college essay about community does involve other people, the question is mainly asking what group you identify with. Similarly, in diversity essay examples, the emphasis is on how your unique background, identity, or perspective has influenced your life and how it might contribute to the diversity of the college community. 

While you’ll no doubt mention and even describe other people, don’t forget to talk about yourself and how this community changed or affected you. This should be your primary focus throughout the piece as it’s what the college is most interested in learning more about.

If you feel that the topic you chose is a little too personal for you to really open up, consider switching to another sense of the word “community” about which you’re more comfortable talking.

Toot your horn.

At the heart of it, a college essay about community is asking you to talk about your achievements… at least a little. As a member of a community, you need to be offering something to the group, not just benefitting. Showing this reciprocity means you are contributing to a larger community.

Many students talk about dreaming of changing the world, but not all of them know where to start. If you are actively doing something positive for your community, in a sense, you are changing the world… your own little world. Positive contributions and acts of service to your community may be small, but they are a start, and that still counts as something.

For example, if you’ve been part of a local food bank, you might talk about how you organized a fundraising event that raised thousands of dollars and significantly increased the food bank’s capacity to serve those in need. Or perhaps you volunteered with Habitat for Humanity and led a team of volunteers in building homes for underprivileged families. 

Since there aren’t many college essays on volunteering, this would be a great opportunity to talk about it. While you shouldn’t go overboard, don’t be afraid to earnestly talk about how you’re helping others within your community. 

Still, what makes college community service essay examples genuine is that you’ll need to share how the experience shaped who you are today. If you have read other students’ community service essay examples before, you’d notice that they talk about how the experience led them to a positive change in their lives. Discuss how leading those fundraising efforts teaches you about perseverance and the power of community. Or how did building homes with Habitat for Humanity instill in you a deep sense of empathy and responsibility? Sharing these insights will make your community service essay stand out.

For admissions counselors, this is an important part of deciding whether or not you’ll fit right in at their university. They want to know how you’re going to contribute to their community other than being an academic member.

Choose a format

The basics of writing a college essay about community is to pick how you’re going to tell it. Choosing the right format is the way to effectively convey your experiences and insights. Here are some points to consider:

The Story Structure

The Story Structure is ideal for students who have encountered a challenge within their community. If you opt for this format, consider addressing these three questions in your essay:

• What challenge did you encounter?
• How did you address it?
• What did you learn from the experience?

The Collection Structure

If this doesn’t apply to you, the Collection Structure might be more suitable. When using this format for writing your essay, check out these points:

• Theme or Central Idea: Choose a unifying theme that ties your different experiences together. This could be a value, skill, or passion that permeates your community involvement.
• Vignettes : Share several short stories or snapshots that illustrate your engagement. These can be varied and highlight different roles, projects, or impacts you’ve had.
• Connection : Each vignette connects back to your central theme and demonstrates how each experience contributes to your overall growth and perspective.
• Reflection : Reflect on what these experiences have taught you and how they have shaped you as a person.

For example, in writing your college essay about community, you might write about your involvement in multiple community projects, such as organizing local clean-up events, mentoring younger students in a science club, and participating in cultural festivals. Each of these vignettes would showcase different facets of your character and how you contribute to your community.

You can also combine the narrative and collection structures by discussing a challenge while highlighting a range of values and lessons learned at the same time. This hybrid approach showcases your diverse experiences and insights within your community.

“Describe a Community You Belong to” Essay Examples

East meets west.

I look around my room, dimly lit by an orange light. On my desk, a framed picture of an Asian family beaming their smiles, buried among US history textbooks and The Great Gatsby. A Korean ballad streams from two tiny computer speakers. Pamphlets of American colleges were scattered on the floor. A cold December wind wafts a strange infusion of ramen and leftover pizza. On the wall in the far back, a Korean flag hangs beside a Led Zeppelin poster.

Do I consider myself Korean or American?

A few years back, I would have replied: “Neither.” The frustrating moments of miscommunication, the stifling homesickness, and the impossible dilemma of deciding between the Korean or American table in the dining hall, all fueled my identity crisis.

Standing in the “Foreign Passports” section at JFK, I have always felt out of place. Sure, I held a Korean passport in my hands, and I loved kimchi and Yuna Kim and knew the Korean Anthem by heart. But I also loved macaroni and cheese and LeBron. Deep inside, I feared I’d be labeled by my airport customs category: a foreigner everywhere.

This ambiguity, however, has granted me the opportunity to absorb the best of both worlds. Look at my dorm room. This mélange of cultures in my East-meets-West room embodies the diversity that characterizes my international student life.

I’ve learned to accept my “ambiguity” as “diversity,” as a third-culture student embracing both identities.

Now, I can proudly answer: “Both.”

Let’s unpack this community essay example.

As a reader, what did you notice in the essay? How did it make you feel? Here’s our take:

• The author uses very descriptive language that does an excellent job of setting the scene, making the piece as engaging as a short story.
• Although the subject is potentially generic (i.e. a story about having two different identities due to cultural differences), the author does a wonderful job of keeping it personal, insightful, interesting, and non-cliche.
• The story comes full circle by discussing something different in the past and how the writer’s experiences have changed it for the better today.
• The author openly admits to having an “identity crisis” which captures the reader’s attention even more without being too overbearing.

Let’s look at another example:

The Pumpkin House

I was raised in “The Pumpkin House.” Every Autumn, on the lawn between the sidewalk and the road, grows our pumpkin. Every summer, we procure seeds from giant pumpkins and plant them on this strip of land. Every fall, the pumpkin grows to be a giant. This annual ritual became well-known in the community and became the defining feature of our already quirky house.

The pumpkin was not just a pumpkin, but a catalyst to creating interactions and community. Conversations often start with “Aren’t you the girl in the pumpkin house?” My English teacher knew about our pumpkin and our chickens. His curiosity and weekly updates about the pumpkin helped us connect.

One year, we found our pumpkin splattered across the street. We were devastated; the pumpkin was part of our identity. Word spread and people came to our house to share in our dismay. Clearly, that pumpkin enriched our life and the entire neighborhood’.

The next morning, our patch contained twelve new pumpkins. Anonymous neighbors left these, plus, a truly gigantic 200 lb. pumpkin on our doorstep.

Growing up, the pumpkin challenged me as I wasn’t always comfortable being the center of attention.

But in retrospect, I realize that there’s a bit of magic in growing something from a seed and tending it in public. I witnessed how this act of sharing creates an authentic community spirit. I wouldn’t be surprised if someday I started my own form of quirky pumpkin growing and reap the benefit of true community.

This time around, pause and reflect on this essay. How did the community the author described change their perspective? How did it affect them personally? What action did the author mention going forward? Here’s what we think:

• In this essay, the author expresses the importance of rituals and family which is an excellent topic for a college essay about community.
• The topic of the essay is mentioned within the first two to three sentences of the piece, making use of limited space.
• The word “community” is explicitly used which shows admissions staff you know how to follow directions while also making it easier for them to understand what you’re writing about.
• The topic is unique to the writer and not something that many – if any – other applicants would be able to write about.
• It comes across as very authentic, personal, and genuine while still being engaging and interesting.

Lastly, once the inspiration finally strikes, seize the moment by immediately putting your thoughts on paper. Start drafting your essay about community with sincerity and passion, and let your heart guide your words.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. What are the words to describe community?

A community is a group of people who share something in common. In writing your college essay about community, you can define it by the shared traits of the people in it or by the strength of the connections among them. It’s about finding a group of people who are similar in some way and feel a sense of belonging or connection with one another.

2. Why do colleges ask for a community essay?

Colleges use community essays to understand how you might fit into their school community. These prompts give you the chance to show admissions officers why you’d be a great addition to their campus.

3. How do I write a college essay about community?

When writing your college essay about community, focus on three main points:

• Highlight an aspect of yourself.
• Show this in the context of a community you belong to.
• Explain how this experience might influence your contribution to the college community you’ll join.

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4 Top Tips for University of Michigan Supplemental Essays

College Essays

The University of Michigan is one of the highest-ranked universities in the nation and is therefore a popular choice for many students, especially those in Michigan and the Midwest. At present, U-M's got a relatively low acceptance rate of just 20% .

If you're planning to apply to this coveted university, then you'll need to know how to write your best University of Michigan supplemental essay possible . Read on to learn what the University of Michigan supplemental essays entail and to get some advice on answering the various prompts. We also give you real University of Michigan essay examples and general tips for producing a great college essay.

Feature Image: Ken Lund /Flickr

What Are the University of Michigan Supplemental Essays?

All applicants to the University of Michigan are required to submit two supplemental essays  in addition to a personal statement written in response to a prompt in the Common Application. 

So in total — and regardless of your major — you'll have to write three University of Michigan essays.

Although you'll have several prompts to choose from for your Common App/Coalition App essay, you'll only get one prompt for each University of Michigan supplemental essay (meaning you don't get to choose a prompt).

Here are the University of Michigan essay prompts you must answer for the 2022-2023 supplement:

Essay 1: Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it. (Required for all applicants; minimum 100 words/maximum 300 words)

Essay 2: Describe the unique qualities that attract you to the specific undergraduate College or School (including preferred admission and dual degree programs) to which you are applying at the University of Michigan. How would that curriculum support your interests? (Required for all applicants; minimum 100 words/maximum 300 words)

Each University of Michigan supplemental essay has its own maximum word limit, with Essay 2's limit (550 words) being a bit longer than Essay 1's (300 words). For both essays, you must write at least 100 words.

The University of Michigan Essay Prompts, Analyzed

Now that we've gone over the basic essay requirements, let's take a closer look at each University of Michigan supplemental essay and how you can answer the prompt effectively.

University of Michigan Supplemental Essay 1

Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it. (Required for all applicants; minimum 100 words/maximum 300 words)

This essay prompt wants to know what makes you unique and what community you see yourself as belonging to. In other words, you're being asked to write a diversity essay , which focuses on you as an individual and what you have contributed to and gained from your specific community.

Through this essay, the University of Michigan admissions committee hopes to learn more about your values, goals, hardships, and achievements. This is why it's important to be your authentic self . Admissions officers will definitely be able to tell if you are exaggerating or making things up. Avoid trying to sound like someone else — write about what's important to you personally.

The prompt gives some examples of possible communities, but here are some more:

• Your gender identity
• Your sexual orientation
• Your school
• Your neighborhood
• Your disability
• A rare or strange talent you have
• A particular club or organization you are a member of
• Do you have any distinct characteristic that has defined you for much of your life? (This could be your ethnicity, race, or religion, for example.)
• How would other people describe you? Ask your family and friends.
• Do you have an uncommon or unique skill, interest, or experience?

Once you know what community you've chosen to write about, think about how this community has influenced you and your goals .

For example, maybe you grew up in a military family and had to move to new states and countries a lot as a child. You could discuss how this experience was isolating at first but how you eventually came to know other kids in military families, developing a sort of support network. Now you credit your experiences with moving with helping you learn to adapt quickly to new environments.

One compelling way you can let readers learn about your experience with your community is by telling your story through a specific anecdote , conversation you had, challenge you faced, etc.

You should also mention how you see your role in this community now . Has this role changed over time, or not? Why do you suppose so? For instance, maybe you used to be ashamed of your Navajo heritage but since having met other Navajo people your age, you now consider yourself a proud advocate for Native Americans and other indigenous groups around the world.

Finally, show, don't tell . Use imagery and realism to grab your readers and make them feel what you felt, see what you saw. Literary devices can help you more clearly describe your experience(s) with your community.

University of Michigan Supplemental Essay 2

Describe the unique qualities that attract you to the specific undergraduate College or School (including preferred admission and dual degree programs) to which you are applying at the University of Michigan. How would that curriculum support your interests? (Required for all applicants; minimum 100 words/maximum 300 words)

You've got a higher word limit for this second University of Michigan supplemental essay than you do for the first one, so be prepared to dig deeper into your topic.

With this essay prompt, you're being asked, "Why U-M?" In other words, you need to write a "why this college" essay , with a focus on how the University of Michigan will be a fantastic fit for you and your academic goals.

Here, you're told directly what to write about: the "unique qualities" of the specific school/college at U-M to which you're applying. This means you could focus on traits such as these in your essay:

• Specific classes U-M offers that you're interested in taking
• A required curriculum that appeals to you in some way
• A particular professor you're excited to work with
• A lecture series or other program your school/college/department puts on
• A certain building, lab, or campus facility you can't wait to use
• Extracurricular activities or clubs related to your major or academic interests
• Career advice and internship opportunities (e.g., what's offered via the LSA Opportunity Hub )

With this essay, you'll need to be extremely specific to be effective . The admissions committee wants to see that you know what distinguishes U-M from other equally renowned universities and that you have a clear idea of how you'll take advantage of the benefits offered here to further your own intellectual and professional pursuits.

You should also talk about what you hope to do and accomplish at the University of Michigan . For example, perhaps you're planning to major in Korean and are eager to attend the Nam Center for Korean Studies' Colloquium Series so you can get a better grasp of the kinds of topics currently being addressed by academics in the field of Korean studies.

If you're not sure what to write about, browse your college/school's official U-M web pages to get a feel for what types of amenities, events, activities, classes, and support it offers undergrads.

You can also try asking current students or recent graduates about their experiences at Michigan and what resources, classes, and/or professors they recommend. Reddit and College Confidential are two good places to look for student opinions.

As you write, take care to avoid overly general descriptions— focus instead on what makes U-M stand apart from other schools you're applying to .

2 Real University of Michigan Essay Examples + Analysis

Sometimes seeing a real essay can give you a better idea of how you can approach and work on your own statement. Below we give you two University of Michigan essay examples written by a real admitted student , along with analysis as to what makes them work.

University of Michigan Essay Example 1

This first essay example is from a student on Reddit who was admitted to U-M in early 2018 (for the academic year starting in fall 2018). It is in response to prompt #1 above.

"Alice, I'm-I'm trans," he stammered.

My school's theatre group is an ever-expanding Ohana; to quote Disney's Lilo and Stitch , "Ohana means family, and family means no one gets left behind."

While this movie had over-prepared me for laser-beaming alien invasions, there was nothing about helping someone come out. Nevertheless, this was the person with whom I laughed, cried, and held hands through curtain calls; this was no alien, but a sibling. He was family.

Although theatre kids love performing for an audience, more importantly, we share an unconditional love for one another. Arriving in Pennsylvania as an international transfer student, I found myself twice removed from Hill's popular social scene, and it was the theatre company who welcomed me without ever questioning my self-worth. They became the anchor of my tempest-tossed first year; in them I found a home.

Thus, when my friend came out to me, I could only give him the love that I once received. When our cast misused his pronouns and name, I corrected them. Together, we transformed gender-specific roles into gender-neutral ones so everyone could partake in our productions. Off-stage, I held him as he grappled with his family's reaction. I grew into an advocate for queer students, both within the theatre company and at school as the co-president of Hill's gay-straight alliance, a position that I have held for two years. I look out for the "othered", lost, and lonely; I welcome them to a family that will never leave them behind.

Here's what makes this University of Michigan supplemental essay work:

• It's got an interesting hook. Starting the essay with a real quotation from someone close to the applicant gives us a real, unfiltered look into this student's life and how she interacts with those in her identified community.
• It's unapologetically honest. The student explains how she, too, has struggled with making friends and how the theatre company—her newfound community—ultimately helped her to feel welcome. In return, she actively supports her friend and goes out of her way to advocate for gay and transgender rights through her school's gay-straight alliance. She clearly cares very deeply about others.

University of Michigan Essay Example 2

This next essay example is from the same student on Reddit who got into U-M in early 2018. It is in response to prompt #2 above.

"Could Freud's theory of Eros and Thanatos apply to civilizations, especially with regard to their domination and subservience?" I asked, Niccolò Machiavelli's The Prince in my hand. Having spent the first two months of senior year reading political treatises, poems, psychological and anthropological works in a History course, this was the first time these texts intersected in my mind. Suddenly, history assumed a completely new form. No more was it only a series of discrete events, but it had blossomed into all the knowledge that this world had to offer, and my desire to explore humanity in multiple ways, instead of restricting myself to only one avenue, would similarly flourish at Michigan's College of Life, Science, and the Arts due to its emphasis on interdisciplinary learning.

As a child of a trilingual mother, I have grown to appreciate integrative learning: to explain how the world worked, my mother employed English and Russian, languages that she knew of, where Vietnamese failed. My initial hunger to overcome these linguistic boundaries has risen since to social and humanitarian ones as well, for as there are words without equivalents, there are communities whose disenfranchisement are unparalleled and cannot be resolved without understanding the history of civil rights worldwide. I will attain such a global outlook in LSA's Residential College program. With its smaller class size and emphasis on communal learning, the program and the varied experience of my fellow RC students will open my eyes to issues I have yet to undergo.

As a future activist, I will harness my education to benefit marginalized groups in underdeveloped, post-colonial countries. As a Social Theory and Practice (STP) and International Studies double major with a specialization in Comparative Culture and Identity (CCI), I will critique and analyze the role of institutions in the global context of behavioral expressions. These skills facilitate the execution of policies that will empower disenfranchised citizens to overcome their legal and economic struggles. Courses such as "Intergroup Conflict and Coexistence: Religion, Ethnicity and Culture" will equip me with important tools with which I can drive social change. Moreover, STP offerings, particularly "History and Theory of Punishment," allow me to craft an education aimed at creating legislations and organizations that will address the social inequality of ethnic and religious minorities in former colonies in Southeast Asia. Finally, I will tie this knowledge to reality by pursuing an STP Honors thesis.

Outside of the classroom, I can pursue the optiMize challenge and devise practical solutions to the issues that impoverished communities face in Vietnam; with my intersectional perspective, I can provide a fresh outlook and facilitate our work with various demographics. I will also lend my voice to the Tab Michigan as an opinion writer, borrowing from my own experiences, having grown up at the twilight of cultures and languages. Furthermore, given my love for performing arts, I will take part in 58 Greene, specifically for its multicultural focus, and MUSKET/UAC. In regard to affinity groups, I plan to join BiLateral, since I want to network with other bisexual members of the community, as well as raise awareness on Michigan's campus about ourselves. As a Wolverine sibling, I will employ my interdisciplinary lessons and hands-on work to make a difference on the Ann Arbor campus and in the world.

• It's extremely specific. The student not only makes telling connections between her love of interdisciplinary learning and desired major, but also name-drops specific classes she wants to take, explains how she'll take advantage of the optiMize challenge, and talks about specific groups she'd like to join. There's absolutely no doubt this student has done her research and is truly passionate about attending Michigan.
• It flows well. The entire essay follows a clear arc, starting with an anecdote of the applicant's first time she managed to make connections between different topics she was studying, and moving on toward her interest in the interdisciplinary offerings at U-M and how they can help her become a future activist.

How to Write a University of Michigan Supplemental Essay

Tip 1: use specific details and examples.

The key to writing an amazing University of Michigan supplemental essay is to write clearly and specifically so that the admissions committee can really feel your passion and understand what makes you the person you are today. After all, your ultimate goal is to tell a compelling story that will leave a mark on your readers.

So don't write vaguely —litter your essay with names, places, dialogue, and images. At the same time, try to stay focused by presenting an easy-to-follow story and logical structure.

For essay 1, for instance, you'll be way more successful if you home in on a specific community you're part of and what it's done for you, rather than trying to cram in tons of details about other communities you relate to. Pick one central topic for each essay, and stick with it.

Tip 2: Be Your Authentic Self

Another tip is to be completely and unapologetically honest in your University of Michigan essays. Write in a voice that's completely and utterly yours and concentrate on a story, person, event, or moment that means a lot to you personally—not what somebody told you to write about, even if that topic sounds more "impressive." So if you want to throw in a joke, go ahead and do it!

Just be sure to avoid the following in your essay , as doing any of these can make you seem lazy, inappropriate, arrogant, or plain unlikable:

• Typos or errors in spelling, grammar, and/or punctuation
• Overused quotations or clichéd analogies —writing something such as "It was raining cats and dogs" will make your essay come across unoriginal and bland
• Inappropriate events or stories —your U-M essay is not the time to write about something illegal or highly immoral you did!
• Anything outright rude or impolite —for example, don't attack the U-M admissions officers or write something mean about someone at school

Tip 3: Don't Repeat Anything You've Written in Other Essays

One of the tricky problems with writing your University of Michigan supplemental essays is that you need to ensure you're not having too much overlap in your essays , especially between your supplemental essays and your Common App/Coalition App personal essay.

While it's OK to have a little bit of overlap in general content, try to select essay prompts so that you're focusing on different (but still equally important) parts of yourself.

For example, because U-M requires a diversity essay as part of its supplement, you'd probably be better off not choosing the first Common App prompt (which is also about communities and your background).

Remember that the admissions committee wants to get a complete, holistic picture of who you are , so take care to incorporate all major (but different) aspects of yourself in your University of Michigan essays.

Tip 4: Edit and Proofread Before You Submit

Lastly, make sure to edit and proofread each University of Michigan supplemental essay you write before you submit your application.

Once you have a rough draft written, put it away for a few days. Then, take it out again and look it over with a fresh set of eyes. Check for any areas that are unclear, out of place, or irrelevant, and edit as needed.

Keep doing this process until you have a fairly clean rough draft and then give it to somebody you trust, such as a parent or teacher. Have them give you feedback on the content and structure of your essay; they should also look for technical errors.

Once your essay is almost ready to go, give it one last proofread. You should now have a fantastic University of Michigan supplemental essay!

What's Next?

Want to learn more about the University of Michigan? Then check out our Michigan admission requirements page , where we give you everything you need to know to get into this famed school.

Though the University of Michigan is not an Ivy League school , it's considered to be a Public Ivy. Learn what this means and why Michigan qualifies for this honor in our guide to Public Ivies .

Applying to other schools in Michigan or the Midwest? Then check out our essay-writing guides for Michigan State University , the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign , and Notre Dame .

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Hannah received her MA in Japanese Studies from the University of Michigan and holds a bachelor's degree from the University of Southern California. From 2013 to 2015, she taught English in Japan via the JET Program. She is passionate about education, writing, and travel.

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Essay Papers Writing Online

The impact of community service – a deep dive into the power of giving back to society.

Community service essays serve as a powerful tool for individuals to reflect on their experiences, values, and impact on the world around them. Through the process of writing about their volunteer work, students are able to articulate the positive changes they have made in their communities and explore the lessons they have learned along the way.

Community service essays also play a crucial role in highlighting the importance of giving back to society and fostering a sense of empathy and compassion in individuals. By sharing personal stories of service, students can inspire others to get involved and make a difference in their own communities.

Moreover, community service essays can help students gain valuable skills such as critical thinking, communication, and problem-solving, as they reflect on the challenges and successes of their volunteer experiences. By documenting their service work, students can also showcase their commitment to social responsibility and community engagement to colleges, scholarship committees, and potential employers.

Why Community Service Essays Matter

In today’s society, the importance of community service essays cannot be overstated. These essays serve as a platform for individuals to showcase their dedication to helping others and making a positive impact on their communities. Through these essays, individuals can share their experiences, insights, and perspectives on the value of giving back to society.

Community service essays also play a crucial role in raising awareness about different social issues and encouraging others to get involved in volunteer work. By sharing personal stories and reflections, individuals can inspire and motivate others to take action and contribute to the betterment of society.

Furthermore, community service essays provide an opportunity for individuals to reflect on their own values, beliefs, and goals. Through the process of writing these essays, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of themselves and their place in the world, leading to personal growth and development.

In conclusion, community service essays matter because they have the power to inspire change, raise awareness, and promote personal growth. By sharing their stories and insights, individuals can make a difference in their communities and create a more compassionate and giving society.

The Impact of Community Service Essays

Community service essays have a profound impact on both the individuals writing them and the communities they serve. These essays serve as a platform for students to reflect on their experiences and articulate the lessons they have learned through their service work.

One of the primary impacts of community service essays is the opportunity for self-reflection. Students are encouraged to critically analyze their experiences, challenges, and accomplishments during their community service activities. This reflection helps students develop a deeper understanding of themselves, their values, and their role in the community.

Another significant impact of community service essays is the awareness they raise about social issues and community needs. By sharing their stories and insights, students can shed light on important issues and inspire others to get involved in community service. These essays can also help community organizations and stakeholders better understand the needs of their communities and how they can address them effectively.

Overall, community service essays play a vital role in promoting social responsibility, empathy, and civic engagement. They empower students to make a positive impact in their communities and contribute to creating a more compassionate and inclusive society.

Guidelines for Writing Community Service Essays

When writing a community service essay, it is important to follow certain guidelines to ensure that your message is clear and impactful. Here are some tips to help you craft a powerful and compelling essay:

• Start by brainstorming ideas and reflecting on your community service experiences.
• Clearly define the purpose of your essay and what you hope to convey to your readers.
• Organize your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
• Use specific examples and anecdotes to support your points and showcase your personal growth.
• Highlight the impact of your community service activities on both yourself and others.
• Showcase your passion and dedication to serving your community.
• Be authentic and honest in your writing, and avoid exaggerating or embellishing your experiences.
• Edit and proofread your essay carefully to ensure clarity, coherence, and proper grammar.

Examples of Effective Community Service Essays

Community service essays can have a powerful impact on the reader when they are well-written and thoughtful. Here are a few examples to inspire you:

1. A Well-Structured Essay:

This essay begins with a compelling introduction that clearly articulates the author’s motivation for engaging in community service. The body paragraphs provide specific examples of the author’s experiences and the impact they had on both the community and themselves. The conclusion ties everything together, reflecting on the lessons learned and the importance of giving back.

2. Personal Reflection:

This essay delves deep into the author’s personal experiences during their community service work. It explores the challenges they faced, the emotions they encountered, and the growth they underwent. By sharing vulnerable moments and candid reflections, the author creates a connection with the reader and demonstrates the transformational power of service.

3. Future Goals and Impact:

This essay not only discusses past community service experiences but also looks toward the future. The author shares their aspirations for continued service and outlines how they plan to make a difference in the world. By showcasing a sense of purpose and vision, this essay inspires the reader to consider their own potential for impact.

These examples illustrate how community service essays can be effective tools for conveying meaningful stories, inspiring others, and showcasing personal growth. By crafting a compelling narrative and reflecting on the significance of service, you can create an essay that leaves a lasting impression.

How Community Service Essays Empower Individuals

Community service essays provide individuals with a platform to express their thoughts, share their experiences, and make a meaningful impact on society. By writing about their volunteer work and the lessons they have learned, individuals can empower themselves to create positive change and inspire others to do the same.

• Through community service essays, individuals can reflect on the importance of giving back to their communities and the value of helping those in need.
• These essays can serve as a source of motivation and inspiration for individuals to continue their philanthropic efforts and make a difference in the world.
• By sharing their stories through community service essays, individuals can raise awareness about social issues and promote greater empathy and understanding among their peers.

Overall, community service essays empower individuals to take action, advocate for change, and contribute to building a more compassionate and equitable society.

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University of Pennsylvania Essay Examples (And Why They Worked)

The following University of Pennsylvania essay examples were written by several different authors who were admitted to UPenn. All names have been redacted for anonymity. Please note that CollegeAdvisor.com has shared these essays with admissions officers at University of Pennsylvania in order to deter potential plagiarism.

For more help with your UPenn supplemental essays, check out our 2020-2021 University of Pennsylvania Essay Guide ! For more guidance on personal essays and the college application process in general, sign up for a monthly plan to work with an admissions coach 1-on-1.

How did you discover your intellectual and academic interests, and how will you explore them at the University of Pennsylvania? Please respond considering the specific undergraduate school you have selected. (300-450 words)

For students applying to the coordinated dual-degree and specialized programs, please answer these questions in regard to your single-degree school choice; your interest in the coordinated dual-degree or specialized program may be addressed through the program-specific essay.

Make no mistake—in my family, Saturday night Scrabble is no slight affair. For the better part of my childhood, I struggled to get the upper hand against my parents’ eloquent lexicon. Eventually, I found the solution in a paper by Dutch economist Jacques Polack, the architect of the International Monetary Fund: in it, he outlined how to best leverage the scarcity of the tiles involved, applying economic principles to optimize the otherwise-mundane game. Aside from revamping my Scrabble skills, his research taught me that business economics govern everything from the global economy to a board game.

Gradually, economics also became a cornerstone of my day-to-day life. Now, when my 6:35 AM alarm rings, I consider the Law of Diminishing Marginal Utility before slapping the snooze button — will my nine minutes of fragmented slumber garner more utility than the alternative (a cup of freshly brewed coffee)? In debate rounds, I’ve found that the root cause of political and social problems can be found by delving into interest rates, quantitative easing, or volatility indices. However, only after working with Congressman DeSaulnier did I realize the far-sweeping effects of economic legislation. One of my most memorable projects — preparing a brief scrutinizing the social, political, and economic effects of H.R. 4674 (the College Affordability Act) — showed that even minor decreases to college tuition tackled cyclical poverty through education, with the resulting butterfly effect benefitting millions. I was hooked. After convincing the Congressman to become a co-author, I aspired to one day use economic and political principles to author similarly innovative policy.

The Business Economics and Public Policy concentration at the Wharton School offers the perfect opportunity to intertwine those passions. I appreciate Wharton’s holistic approach to teaching the global economy: courses like Nations, Politics, and Markets cover the big picture of the international markets, while Housing Markets dissects the minutiae of a single industry, isolating areas that need improvement. I also look forward to courses like Professor Eisenhower’s Communication and the Presidency — effective communication is still the bridge that turns effective ideas into tangible social change. I hope to put those lessons to use by brainstorming legislation at the Wharton Public Policy Initiative, where I’ll have the opportunity to collaborate with a uniquely diverse student body, challenge my preconceptions, and catalyze novel ideas. Clubs like the Penn International Impact Consulting offer the opportunity to collaborate with NGOs an ocean away, simultaneously letting me have a tangible social impact and helping me develop an international network. These four years at Penn will leave me with more than just a degree. From mastering the economics of Scrabble to pioneering solutions to society’s most pressing problems, they’re the first step to having a global impact.

Why this University of Pennsylvania essay worked, according to an ex admissions officer

This essay is playfully clever. The author begins with a simple game of scrabble but quickly we are transported into economic theory, which they begin to apply to all their daily happenings. The author brings us into a parallel world where everything can be analysed, and potentially solved, in economic terms. They are specific and cite actual laws and cases. We realize that this student lives, eats, and breaths in this economically obsessive universe. This is when the author brings us back to our own campus.

They speak about their own achievements and how they will translate to the community at UPenn. They refers to specific classes, professors, and clubs that are offered at University of Pennsylvania. We can visualize this person on our campus, but they do not leave it there. They wrap up their 4 years at Penn, and by doing this we see a graduate. They then reference how, with these Penn experiences, they can impact the world. It all began with a scrabble game and we are returned to the scrabble table with a clear image of what this student can accomplish with an offer from University of Pennsylvania. Remember, beyond writing a great essay, students must be prepared to ace every part of the admissions process. Take our quiz below to find out just how much you know about college admissions!

I was eight when my first business idea struck. Each day, classmates would approach me with a string of questions about homework: Is Russia in Europe or Asia? What’s the commutative property? How do you spell ‘satisfied’? One day, my third-grade self thought, Why not charge a quarter for each answer?

After hearing my proposition, my dad laughed so hard he could barely repeat it to my mom. “She’s born for business!” he exclaimed.

His words stuck with me. Years later, those words propelled me to take Wharton’s Coursera Marketing class, which left me fascinated by the psychology behind marketing: Why do all the girls at school wear Lululemon leggings when Nike’s are cheaper? Why is SmartWorld Coffee right next to Starbucks? Even calculus problems on price optimization made me wonder, How do businesses price their products? As I explored, I uncovered the answers to many of these questions, even making my own findings in product-pricing last year. “Born for business” or not, I realized that I had discovered something I truly loved.

Last July, at Leadership in the Business World (LBW), I not only nurtured my burgeoning passion for business, I also experienced a glimpse of what attending Wharton would be like.

Between case studies, site visits, and discussion-based lectures, LBW embodied the interactive learning culture I thrive in. Analyzing the merits of Google’s growing power with Professor McCaffrey challenged my preconceptions of monopolies, and discussions about customer centricity with Professor Fader left me with a new perspective on equity versus efficiency. Everything I learned was both thought-provoking and engaging; I was eager for more.

And I did get more — in the form of hands-on learning. In the first week, I made investments as a venture capitalist in the Startup Game simulation; by the last week, I was pitching a startup to a panel of investors. No matter what it was, I could practice what I had learned in context. I was excited to discover that this reflects Wharton as a whole. When my Teaching Assistant, Mona, described her Management 100 project, I felt a sense of déjà vu: the desire for practical application that motivated her to help local immigrants grow their businesses also guides my own endeavors. For example, after LBW, I applied my knowledge of customer segmentation while establishing a service organization to partner with Key Club. Recognizing that the key psychographic was stay-at-home/team-mom type parents, I quickly attracted 30 dedicated members. In essence, Penn students engage with their education in a way that’s directly relevant to the world — a practice that matches my own learning style perfectly.

Furthermore, at Wharton, I can unify my core interests in business and civic engagement. Behavioral Economics — a concentration rarely offered by undergraduate business programs — would deepen my understanding of the human decision-making process, helping me answer questions about everything from athletic wear to coffee. Meanwhile, a secondary concentration in Social Impact and Responsibility would help me approach business problems through a social impact lens. Together, both concentrations would teach me to apply my business acumen toward my love of service.

Beyond the classroom, I hope to join the Social Impact Consulting Group (SIC), where I plan to implement both my Wharton education and my past involvement with nonprofits to help local communities. Over the last few years, I’ve worked intimately with the local Big Brother/Big Sister chapter, and I would love to use that experience to help the Philadelphia chapter that Penn’s SIC Group counsels.

In short, I’ve fallen in love with Penn in its entirety. Between the strong theme of practical application and the 6AM runs along Spruce Street, the eclectic atmosphere of the Kelly Writers House and the Greek Lady French Toast, Penn is the perfect blend of vitality, collaboration, and interdisciplinary learning. It is this community that I hope to make my home for the next four years.

My first visit to Philadelphia was a unique one. With car keys for the second time, the world at my disposal, and a desire to try a cheesesteak for the first time, I took the two-hour drive to Philly. While I dispensed my entire paycheck throughout the duration of the trip, my only regret remains trying Pat’s and Geno’s and perhaps also losing my car privilege for three months. In all seriousness, knowing I’d only have time to visit 1-2 places, I decided to do a self-guided tour of Penn, a school I had already researched extensively. Nestled in a bastion of intellectualism, culture, and history in a city I dared to learn so much from stood this behemoth of a school, and it was after this tour that I decided to apply to UPenn’s School of Engineering and Applied Sciences.

My experience with engineering began with taking apart my dad’s Dell Inspiron desktop. Fascinated by the complex arrangement of the parts and the intricate designs that lined the parts themselves, I was too young to understand what the term “engineering” even encompassed. Engineering to me was not just about building computers, which I’d eventually pursue, but optimization. I was obsessed with choosing graphics cards and CPU’s, always pursuing maximum efficiency in terms of size, speed, and price of the final product. Naturally, this kickstarted my journey into circuitry; I still remember by first series circuit. The logic behind the placement of the wires excited me. The troubleshooting required when I wasn’t met with success filled me with purpose. Later, the power to utilize my Arduino to power code into my projects rendered my options limitless.

Indeed, my rather bizarre voyage to campus affirmed my intuition that UPenn was the school for me, but it was the substance of my research that confirmed that the SEAS, in particular, was compatible with my academic goals and interests. To my delight, I discovered that as stringent as an electrical engineering degree at Penn would be, I could also apply to earn a minor in Energy and Sustainability. Beginning with the Engineering Probability course (ESE 301), I’d start off learning what I love, combinatorics and advanced topics such as the Bernoulli schema that I am already studying outside of school now. Even more exciting would be the culmination of my entire Penn education during my senior year, when I’d partake in the Senior Design competition. Through this project competition, I’d have the privilege of applying real-world knowledge obtained at Penn by presenting my work to expert judges in my field.

In addition to my passion for electricity and circuitry, I am deeply interested in biomimicry, a field that became the cornerstone of my studies outside of school because of a simple realization: all around me lies genius. Thus biomimicry, the practice of applying designs and process from nature to engineering, one that I’m determined to develop with an Energy and Sustainability minor by applying energy-storing processes of leaves to solar cells—a longstanding point of research outside of school—constantly motivates me. While this aspect of engineering is one that I haven’t tangibly sought out in high school through formal clubs or competitions because of my work commitments, my extensive personal studies through books and online resources have instilled in me a desire to explore it further in college. Fascinatingly enough, I’d find a home to do this at Penn, where the engineering blog even has a hashtag for coverage of biomimicry. A few weeks ago, I even bookmarked an article about a student researcher developing a method to render the production of biofuel more efficient by mimicking giant clams, only to later discover that the article was published by UPenn. Ultimately, attending Penn would mean an opportunity to not only learn from the best, but also access resources to better the world around me, following in the footsteps of so many other Penn innovators.

What I like about this essay is that the author begins with a casual air. We envision a typical high school senior who grabs the car keys and has a day-trip adventure. They are a tourist exploring the very specific cultural highlights of Philly and entering the University of Pennsylvania campus. Almost with this student’s first step into the gates, we realize this “typical high school senior” is completely immersed in the world of engineering. They take us from an endearing story of taking apart a family computer as a child to discussions of circuitry, logic, wires, and powercodes.

For most of us, this conversation would go over our heads. However, the story remains clear, and the student’s pure love of engineering is unmistakable. This student speaks the engineering language. The author then explains where this passion for engineering will lead them. They let us know what principles they hope to discover next. They mention their goals, their minor, what they will take as a senior (bringing us four years in), and they finish by creating a place for themselves amongst the collection of UPenn innovators that have come before.

There is an energy to this person’s essay that suggests pure progression. They will take advantage of every minute on campus. This essay embodies the transformation of a kid with a Philly Cheesesteak to a veritable scholar, and I would be excited to have this transformation evolve on the University of Pennsylvania campus.

3:31 PM: Notebook and camera clutched in each arm, I prowl the streets of Detroit.

3:54 PM: As I find myself hunting along a line of apartments encased by steel-frame construction, I figure it might make for a story. What is going on here?

3:55 PM: I ask an African-American woman who slumps against the charred-brick wall, surrounded by a sea of translucent trash bags. She tells me, and I am horrified.

Horrified to know she was kicked out. Horrified to learn that the developers had doubled the rent, cut the power, harassed her and threatened to burn down her apartment when she fought to stay. Horrified to hear that she hated her dark skin, hated the way she was born.

Horrified , that the Webster Dictionary taught me gentrification means positive change.

While the woman I had encountered was in dire straits, her undoing was the making of me. In talking with her, my eyes were opened to the atrocities that ordinary people live through, and I could no longer sit back and allow them to go unnoticed. As a journalist, I have the ability to give voice to the silenced, to take someone’s story and broadcast it over an intercom. That day, I wrote her story in hopes that even one more person might understand her story and learn of the ugly in a word disguised by the good.

Since then, I have strived to reach larger audiences. Through writing articles and meeting with legislators through The Borgen Project, I have continued to immerse myself in poverty matters and deepened my interest in the intersection of Sociology and Economics while growing as a writer. While researching, I find myself investigating urban sprawl or income disparity, and hundreds of questions flood my mind. At Penn, the possibility of pursuing my curiosities are embedded in both the school’s academics and geography.

With twofold interests in urban matters, I seek The College’s Urban Sociology concentration with an Economic Policy minor; this, I find conducive to exploring both the socio-political and economic nuances of poverty alleviation. Additionally, I am concerned about gentrification, and educating myself on the matter in one of the most gentrified cities in America provides the natural setting for first-hand observation and research. Fairmount, located only two miles outside of Penn, is a neighborhood undergoing excessive black gentrification in Philadelphia. One day, I hope to work alongside mentors such as Dr. Grazian–whose expertise spans both the economic and social dynamics of Philadelphia neighborhoods–and direct a case study detailing effects of Fairmount gentrification. In developing a multifaceted worldview, it is my ideal to pursue my intellectual interests at the University of Pennsylvania, in a place itself as culturally rich as Philadelphia.

The University of Pennsylvania, with its strong emphasis on pre-professional learning is ideal as a learning environment. That focus is what drives many students with an eye to the future. We hope to apply our learning, impact the real world in ways that inspire change.

I find the Cognitive Science program, specifically its concentration in Language and Mind most appealing. As someone who places great emphasis in words, the idea of analyzing the cognitive aspects behind linguistics, whether philosophically, psychologically, or computationally draws upon various fields that showcase various perspectives on the meanings of language. It’s fascinating that despite the various languages and cultures there can be a biological scientific breakdown explaining the complex processes underlying syntax and semantics.

I am fascinated with the study of semantics, especially as it relates to both personality and gender. Because the World Well-Being Project touches on the topic of extroversion versus introversion, I would hope to be involved. This topic has interested me since reading Quiet by Susan Cain, which I also wrote about for Teen Line’s blogs. The language of both gender and personality are particularly intriguing; research suggests that for males, possessive pronouns are strongly associated with relationships like girlfriend and husband while for females, the nouns existed primarily on their own. List of most used words also differ along personality traits. I wonder why researchers persist in correlating the language to the Big Five Traits (which carry their own significant connotations) rather than to other classificatory systems.

Two other UPenn labs offer me routes to follow my current interests: The Cultural Evolution of Language lab under Dr. Roberts and the Cognition and Development Lab under Dr. Weisberg.

In the last decade, texting lingo has changed the way many speak. I find myself wondering whether spoken language will lose its richness as common vocabulary shortens and simplifies. The idea of experimental semiotics that Dr. Roberts utilizes is fascinating in that we can watch how a newly-created language progresses, thrives, or decays.

The Cognition and Development Lab under Dr. Weisberg, on the other hand, focuses primarily on development, interviewing children and exploring what exactly is going on when they enact pretend stories. I still remember one instance of my five-year-old self playing pretend princess at an after school program; a fifth grader had snapped at me in annoyance to stop using the word “pretend” in our play activity. The next five minutes had me tripping over my own words, finally giving up in frustration when for some reason, I couldn’t avoid saying pretend in my games. The rest of the day was spent sitting in a huff in the corner, hugging a pillow. Thinking back, I can’t fathom why I enjoyed living in a fantasy. It seems out of character to the Katie today. Discovering how play helps with growth is one of the major questions surrounding the study of children; its effects on cognition could be impactful in parenting theories because fantasy play probably has a significant role in the development of the brain.

While not an academic interest, acapella singing remains intellectually stimulating to me. Joining groups like Pennyo or Pennsori will allow me to practice singing and speaking in Mandarin or Korean. These include musical genres that I have been exploring for several years, allowing me to learn about culturally embedded vehicles for aesthetic language. They will provide me with another way to explore language and culture.

The differences between the word clouds can be read into farther than simply, girls say “I love you” more and guys talk about video games – rather, there are small details that are indicative, whether of true gender differences or cultural norm commonalities. The language of personality, on the other hand brings up questions – why use the Big Five standard over others? The traits are often associated with a strongly positive or negative implication in society – which directly correlates to the words found in the clouds. It would be interesting to analyze social media aspects on neutral traits as well, as shown with the introversion/extroversion in order to find correlations between how language is use and how differently it is processed by personality categorizations like the more detail-oriented versus big idea thinkers.

At Penn, learning and growth happen outside of the classrooms, too. How will you explore the community at Penn? Consider how this community will help shape your perspective and identity, and how your identity and perspective will help shape this community. (150-200 words)

Philadelphia is known as the City of Brotherly Love, and Penn lives up to that ethos. The community there is uniquely supportive, diverse, and vibrant. Having competed as a member of the USA Debate Team, I look forward to bringing my experience to the Penn Debate Society, and hopefully, representing the school at the World University Debating Championships., Beyond competing at tournaments, I appreciate last year’s collaboration debate with The Economist and the Bard Prison Initiative; to broaden the team’s horizons, I’d love to arrange similar events with other think tanks, nonprofits, or community organizations.

After four years of pick-up basketball at Sycamore Valley Park, I look forward to joining the intramural team, where I’d connect with the Penn community on the court while getting some much-needed practice on my jump shot. To preserve my tradition of attending Friday prayers, I’ll join the Muslim Student Association. Both through social gatherings or community work at the Masjid al-Jamia, I’m excited to work with a community of Muslims from around the world. Finally, I hope to join the Penn Student Government–it’d be both a new experience and help me gain experience advocating for the interests of the student body.

Too often, I have found myself walled-in by hard lines and expectations. At school, I belong to multiple circles, but I find myself contributing only a portion of my personality to each. In my community, there is just no all-encompassing space.

Penn makes a family out of us multipotentialites. Penn students refuse to be defined by one thing, a unique culture through which I can thrive as a liberal-arts-focused student enthusiastic about STEM. As a creative writer, I’ve gravitated towards writing science-fiction, imagining futuristic worlds where people online-shop for faces, or where simulation technology has allowed us to learn history by experiencing it. By writing for t-art, I am afforded the possibility of acting as a liaison between the Humanities and STEM worlds through innovative creative expression. On other days, I see myself merging my skills as an urban sociologist and journalist to report about the surrounding city through The Daily Pennsylvanian . On Mondays and Thursdays, I might find myself playing Mahler with the Penn Symphony Orchestra. Above all, I envision myself strolling through Locust Walk each day, tracing the footsteps of Andrea Mitchell to Elizabeth Banks, chatting with friends about the first presidential debate to the origin of “irregardless.”

This essay is successful because the author clearly starts in a place that is limiting their potential. They are excited and curious to spread their proverbial wings. The author has carefully researched opportunities at UPenn and seamlessly interwoven their own accomplishments and talents, with cited academic and extracurricular UPenn opportunities.

This author creates a very clear image of what type of contributor they will be on our campus. Their interests are diverse and limitless, or so it seems. The author’s specificity in mentioning the days the Orchestra plays, the Locust Walk, and past UPenn scholars shows their love for the school. This essay describes a person who is ready to blossom, has intellectual and cultural curiosity, and will add to the community at University of Pennsylvania.

These University of Pennsylvania essay examples were compiled by the advising team at CollegeAdvisor.com . If you want to get help writing your University of Pennsylvania essay supplements from CollegeAdvisor.com Admissions Experts , register with CollegeAdvisor.com today.

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5 University of Washington Essay Examples by Accepted Students

What’s covered:, essay example #1 – diversity, cripplepunks, essay example #2 – diversity, community in difference, essay example #3 – diversity, food, essay example #4 – diversity, dinnertime conversations, essay example #5 – interdisciplinary studies, where to get your university of washington essays edited.

The University of Washington is a selective school, so it’s important to write strong essays to help your application stand out. In this post, we’ll share essays real students have submitted to the University of Washington. (Names and identifying information have been changed, but all other details are preserved).

Read our University of Washington es say breakdown to get a comprehensive overview of this year’s supplemental prompts.

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Prompt: Our families and communities often define us and our individual worlds. Community might refer to your cultural group, extended family, religious group, neighborhood or school, sports team or club, co-workers, etc. Describe the world you come from and how you, as a product of it, might add to the diversity of the University of Washington. (300 words)

The first time I looked up the term cripplepunk I was in ninth grade, almost bedbound with severe hip pain. It took half a second for the page to load, and another half a second for me to process what I was seeing. There before me, against the muted grey of my phone’s dark mode, is the community I thought I would never have. I could have scrolled for hours, absorbing the images of models in powerchairs wearing ornate gowns, snarky patches on guide dog vests, and decorated canes. I kept coming back to the page, enchanted with the movement. Although the term cripplepunk wasn’t used until 2014, the spirit of the movement is present in most disabled people, from Frida Kahlo to the participants in the Capitol Crawl. The cripplepunk movement is intentionally subversive, fighting against the ableism and pity that disabled people encounter at every turn. Cripplepunks take a “so what if I am?” approach to ableism, refusing to be ashamed of symptoms, accommodations, or mobility aids. It’s a diverse movement too, where a 60-something veteran dealing with decades-old injuries can guide me through the process of buying and decorating my first cane. In cripplepunk circles, a deafblind Black woman can teach the world that disabled people can have dreams for their futures. The cripplepunk movement is a movement where I can offer sympathy, advice, and support to the same people who helped me through otherwise isolating moments and new cripples alike. That work doesn’t just happen online though. My work as a cripplepunk happens everywhere, classrooms and grocery stores alike, by being visibly and unashamedly disabled, vocally confronting ableists, and campaigning for greater accessibility.

What the Essay Did Well

One of the primary strengths of this “Diversity” essay is its writer’s enthusiasm about the cripplepunk movement, which helps readers feel connected to them. At the very beginning of this response, we are introduced to the term ‘cripplepunk,’ but just like the student, we are not exactly sure what it means. We go through the process of learning about the movement with the student as they bring to our minds “images of models in powerchairs wearing ornate gowns, snarky patches on guide dog vests, and decorated canes.” By bringing us along to their first introduction to cripplepunk, this student forms a connection between themself and the reader. We get “enchanted” alongside them.

At the same time, we get enchanted by the student, who positions themself as mature and insightful. As they describe how the cripplepunk movement wasn’t labeled until 2014 but “the spirit of the movement” existed long before, they address the ways that community doesn’t need to have a name to exist. They position community as anything that makes individuals not feel alone, then follow that description up with a definition of community as “people who help others through otherwise isolating moments.” This deeper reflection displays this student’s insightful-nature and maturity.

Finally, this essay’s structure works very nicely. It is simultaneously anecdotal and reflective, and, to top it all off, the student provides an image of them in “classrooms and grocery stores alike” showing off their diversity and their pride. The anecdote draws the reader in, while the reflection reveals this student’s personality and perspectives. Combined, the reader gets a good idea of who this student is and how they would fit into the campus community.

What Could Be Improved

The one thing this essay didn’t address was how this student will add to the diversity of the University of Washington. Although we get a good sense of the unique community this student came from and how it shaped them, we still want to know how they will contribute to their campus community. This student could have easily revised the last few sentences to say something along the lines of this:

“I intend to bring the cripplepunk movement with me to the University of Washington. I’ll proudly display myself on campus so I can teach my fellow classmates about disabilities and encourage other disabled students to be unashamed of who they are.”

Reworking the conclusion to discuss how they will take the lessons they have learned from being part of the cripplepunk community and share those lessons with a new community would show admissions officers exactly what this student would bring to campus. It doesn’t have to be an extensive response, but the essay should include some reference of University of Washington. 

In my youth, I found solace in communities of my peers who shared portions of my identity; from speaking the same second languages to sharing similar tastes, I was quick to bond with those I was similar to. 

When I moved to Oregon, I found myself miles away from these connections. My fragmented identity found little to attach to my peers. Inkling connections uprooted as I attended three different middle schools throughout my years. “Community” felt like a bubble I was floating upon, inherently a part of yet never fully immersed. 

At the end of math class towards the middle of eighth grade, I felt a tap on my shoulder. A tall girl with glasses and a tooth gap stood behind.

“Do you want to sit with us at lunch today?”

Stemming from this small invitation, I found myself part of a community of peers with whom I never thought I could relate. Our interests diverged and collided in all regards; we were of different gender identities, sexual orientations, and ethnic backgrounds. While I was the only person of color in our friend group, I cherished the different experiences we brought to the table. I recounted my struggles accepting my culture while I heard the stories of my friends who were dealing with gender dysphoria. 

In the following years, I wholeheartedly applied this multifaceted outlook to my sense of community. I engaged with peers both different and similar to me; I found community at Indian festivals with my fellow South Asian peers and community with my closest friends with whom I can form strong emotional connections, despite our dissimilar backgrounds. 

This ever-growing sense of community has helped me thrive and will better help me engage within the student body at the University of Washington

As this student explores the struggle of finding community, their essay not only reads like a Diversity essay but also like an Overcoming Challenges essay . 

The main strength of this essay is the arc it presents. We learn about their background (moving around a lot) and we learn that community didn’t always come easy for them. The sentence “‘ Community’ felt like a bubble I was floating upon, inherently a part of yet never fully immersed” articulates their isolation particularly well. At the same time, this sentence shows their profound awareness of the true meaning of community. They understand that being a part of a formal group like a school organization, an ethnic group, or a sport does not necessarily mean one feels community.

As the essay progresses, the student comes to understand that community does not have to exist within any formal bounds at all. You can find community with people completely different from you. Through their reflection, this student clearly shows an understanding of the importance of diversity. Not only is this essay able to demonstrate the meaning of community to this student, but it also displays how diversity is an integral part of community, which is exactly what admissions officers want to see.  

The beginning of this essay is a little slow, so the whole essay would benefit from reordering it and changing the structure a bit. Essays tend to start off with an anecdote to hook the reader and then go into more elaboration. However, it takes a few sentences before this student gets to their anecdote. We learn about this student’s experience feeling part of (or isolated from) a community prior to middle school, but the essay isn’t overly engaging before the anecdote.

The anecdote livens up the essay and brings a renewed sense of excitement and engagement to the reader, so opening the essay with the story of getting invited to lunch would spur that interest from the beginning. After the quick anecdote, the student could explain why it was so meaningful to be invited to lunch and find a community at that table because they had felt that they were missing a community throughout middle school. Restructuring the essay like this would mean it wouldn’t be told chronologically, but a deeper emotional connection with the student, and interest in their story, would be established off the bat.

“Beta, food is ready,” Amma yells as I quickly traverse her words.  She made dosas and aloo curry, my favorite. I followed the strong, flavorful scent to the kitchen, the same place where I subsequently got serenaded by hymns sung by Amma.  I helped set up the table, decorated with a box of misplaced cheerios and a bowl of Gulab jamun Appa set out for us before he left for work.   I watched my brother go into the garden to collect one of our banana leaves, acting as plates for the eight guests arriving soon for lunch. The natural grassy smell that emanated from the leaves signaled Amma that guests would be coming soon. She laid out the dosas on the table and aloo in a bowl, exerting an ounce of pride from the squint of her eyes.  The aroma of dosas and aloo curry has followed my family for generations. Every generation that was taught the art of making a dosa assimilated a new idea, evolving my family’s South Indian cuisine. My appreciation of my community lies within its versatility for the continuation of traditions and beliefs, passing them down for generations to come.   Guests started coming in for lunch, holding their food, seasoned with the stories of their lives. Despite the incredible array of foods on the table, the box of cheerios remained in sight to the public. Like me, it didn’t align with the norms of its environment, but remained firm. Its bright yellow color pervaded, attracting many. However, it had its own stories and journey that couldn’t hold comparison to others. This “ambiguity” represents diversity within culture. Its multidimensional perspective allows for cuisine and culture to bring a multitude of stories together, creating a home for all, including me.

This essay exemplifies how to respond to the Diversity prompt, an essay archetype used by many colleges. Effective responses do just what this essay does, by describing both a culture and the applicant’s place within it. Especially successful essays convey important, relevant aspects of the community with quick yet evocative descriptions, like of the aloo curry and hymns, that also help readers get to know the applicant better. In this essay, we see their thoughtfulness, keen eye for detail, involvement with their family and community, and appreciation for their heritage. 

One more especially powerful aspect of this essay is the vivid, descriptive language. There’s the smell of curry, the sound of singing, and the visual of the bright yellow Cheerios box, all of which draw us into this student’s world with all five senses. In particular, the metaphor of the Cheerios box standing out in the midst of the home-cooked, traditional South Indian meal is unexpected and heartwarming, and helps ensure that this rich essay will make a strong impression on UW admissions officers.

Even in a strong essay like this one, there’s still room for improvement. One thing that would make this supplement more effective would be a bit more detail on the central metaphor of the Cheerios box. Why does the author align themselves with the American breakfast cereal, instead of the food being cooked by their grandmother? 

The description of the box as “not aligning with the norms of the environment” is compelling, but not supported by details about the applicant’s personality, or reflections on their identity. While metaphors are a crucial part of many college essays, you always want to be as explicit as possible about what a metaphor is saying about you, to ensure the admissions officer reading your essay fully understands your point.

Additionally, on a structural level, this essay would benefit from being split into two or even three paragraphs, for a couple of reasons. Firstly, because one big block of text is a little rough on the eyes. Secondly, because breaking up your ideas ensures each one gets your reader’s full attention–at the end of each paragraph, they can reflect on the point you’ve just made before continuing on to the next one.

At my dining table, a silent war was being waged. Each side wielded glances, smirks, and snide remarks concealed under composed postures. The discomfort was palpable. Yet, newly eight-year-old me moved obliviously between my grandmas. To me, they were nearly the same person wh o loved me and, on this delightful occasion, had provided me with considerable compensation for lasting another year. 

My first call to battle came sitting in the passenger seat of my grandma, Judy’s Toyota. As we rolled through the hills of Idaho, she spoke to me about a recent election and her opinions on various healthcare issues. Moved from a place of deep sorrow, she described my Aunt’s struggle to obtain insurance due to a pre-existing condition. She suggested her solutions, and I listened attentively, curious about her ideas since I had yet to form my own.  

Months later, I found myself in a hammock under a sweeping eucalyptus, engaged in a similar discussion with my other grandma, Teresa. As a healthcare worker, she was very involved with the issue, yet her ideas fell completely opposite Judy’s. 

This was when I discovered the origin of the hushed hostility afflicting my family. 

The family I come from may seem divided with their vastly different views, but together, these women taught me the importance of being a listener. I learned that to understand an issue truly, you must first consider all thoughts and opinions, no matter how much you may disagree. The animosity I observed resulted from closed minds and echo chambers; from their discomfort, I’ve learned that progress can only be made through compromise and communication. At UW, I hope to contribute my distinct perspective on problem-solving alongside my engineering knowledge to collaborate with others through programs like Engineers Without Borders to create impactful solutions to universal problems. 

In this essay, which is another strong response to the “Diversity” prompt , the student does a great job of explaining how being around different opinions has shaped their own perspective, as well as capturing the role they play within their family. The response highlights what the student has learned not just about their grandmothers’ opinions, but about listening in general and forming opinions of their own.

This essay is also a good reminder that writing a strong response to this kind of prompt doesn’t require you to focus on a distinct culture–you can write effectively about aspects of your identity, like the conversations at your family dinner table, that aren’t typically associated with diversity. So long as your growth and character are at the center of the story, like they are for this student, the essay will do a great job of demonstrating who you are to the admissions committee. 

The other especially effective part of this essay is the end, where the author connects their theme to a specific program and future at UW. This detail goes above and beyond what the prompt asks for, to show admissions officers exactly how this student plans to participate in the University of Washington community. Although quick, this line drives home the relevance of this student’s skills and experience to UW’s values as an institution, which helps admissions officers picture them on campus.

While this kind of concrete connection to the school can take your essay to the next level, you want to be sure that you make the connection in a way that feels natural. The majority of your essay should focus on some aspect of your identity and what it reflects about your broader character–only mention something specific about the school if you have extra space, and it’s directly connected to what you’ve discussed. It’s always nice to have a cherry on top of an already strong essay, but ultimately the most important thing is always to answer what the prompt is actually asking.

What Could Be Improved 

Overall, this is a super strong essay, with very little to improve. The only thing that we would consider changing is the time periods the student chooses their examples from. While the anecdotes are strong and paint a vivid picture of a conflict that goes back years, stories from when the author was eight may seem less relevant to an admissions committee that is looking to admit that student ten years later. 

If you have a story that dates back to your childhood, you should weigh the benefits of starting at the very beginning of the story against the benefits of including anecdotes that show how you behave in that community now. There isn’t a one-size-fits-all rule here: simply be conscious about the choices you make with your essay, to ensure you communicate your key points as effectively as possible.

Prompt: Consider two very different subjects you have previously studied; tell us how you imagine bringing those together at UW to engage with a pressing societal concern. This could be a local, national, or global concern.

In my youth, my mother helped instill a curiosity about the natural world in me. Her work in consulting regarding climate change and environmental systems made me question my direct and indirect impact. I delved into these interests further in high school by taking broad coursework in the sciences. In AP Biology, I was baffled by the reactions and transformation that occurred with simple manipulation. In AP Environmental Science, I was able to apply these biological processes to environmental concepts I noticed on the daily.

In my junior year, I took AP Economics, a class on the polar opposite spectrum from biological and environmental sciences. However, while studying economics, I was able to establish connections between economic and environmental concepts. My father, who has a grounded education in economics, helped me understand the links between these seemingly disparate subjects. The subjects were foundationally interlinked; simple ideas coincided, such as the tragedy of the commons and its relation to marginal analysis. 

As I noticed these intersectional ties, I saw that addressing the impending climate crisis through an economic lens was necessary for implementable, impactful change. There were opportunities for the government to impact climate action— these included economic incentives and regulations to influence the market price, changing producer and consumer behavior to be environmentally friendly. These policies helped protect the welfare of not only the environment but also of individuals who are disproportionately affected by the climate crisis. 

My interest in communication studies links to this; I hope to thoroughly understand these subjects in an interdisciplinary context to provide the means for others to do the same.

  At UW, particularly in the Interdisciplinary Honors Program, I hope to conjoin my interests in economic policy, science, and communications to gain the leverage and sound academic foundation necessary to address these concerns.

One of the best things this essay did was make use of a simple structure. This prompt asks for a lot from students: discuss two interests, identify the relationship between the two interests, show that the relationship relates to a pressing societal concern , and describe how you will engage with that concern at UW. While it is possible to answer all of these questions with a creative structure, this student’s use of a simple structure helped keep all of the parts of the essay organized. The essay followed the same format as the prompt: two paragraphs about their interests and relationship between them, a paragraph on a societal concern, and two final paragraphs on how they will tie everything together at UW.

Utilizing this structure allowed the student to fully establish both of their interests as unique entities before combining them. Going into detail on what excited them about environmental science and economics in the first place made their genuine love for the topics shine through. Also, including specific concepts like biological reactions and tragedy of the commons shows this student’s knowledge in these respective fields, in addition to their passion.

This student also does a good job of explaining the relationship they see between environmental sciences and economics. Explaining how they were “foundationally interlinked; simple ideas coincided” gives some insight into how this student thinks. We learn that they used logic to connect seemingly different topics that share common ideas. Establishing this logic-based link helps us understand how they devised solutions to address the pressing issue of the climate crisis in the third paragraph. The reader is left with the impression this student is genuinely fascinated by these two topics and has an interest in continuing to combine them in the future.

This student struggles with the transition to discussing their future goals. Since they devoted a large portion of their allotted word count to their interests in science and economics, they were left with very few words to discuss their interest in communication and how all three fields can be tied together. This leaves the essay feeling rushed and less genuine at the end.  

If they cut down on some words earlier in the essay—perhaps only mention their interest sparked from their coursework or their parents, rather than delving into detail on both—they could devote more space to their interest in communication studies later on. Then, this student could add more depth to the sentence “ My interest in communication studies links to this,”  by replacing it with something like:

“As I have seen the importance of science and economics for saving our planet, I have realized that interdisciplinarity is what will save the world. Disparate fields must join together for change to occur. I plan to join the inherently interdisciplinary communication studies program to show the world the importance of communication between disciplines.”

Do you want feedback on your University of Washington essays? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

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