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When you hire me, you get me. who am i an out-of-the-ordinary college application admissions essay coach tutor consultant, 4 standout college application essays on work, money and class.

May 13, 2017 Elizabeth Benedict Uncategorized 0

4 standout college application essays on work money and class

For the last few years, the  New York Times has asked for contributions of Common Application essays and personal statements already submitted on the subjects of work, money and social class. They choose four to publish and present them with photos and information about where the writers are going to college. They are always fascinating to read. Click on the link to read the entire piece. Here’s the introduction:

Each year, we issue an open casting call for high school seniors who have dared to address money, work or social class in their college application essays . From the large pile that arrived this spring, these four — about parents, small business, landscapes and the meaning a single object can convey — stood out. READ MORE

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Guide to The NY Times’ Five Best College Essays on Work, Money and Class

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So, you might ask, “What can I learn from this year’s crop of college essays about money, work and class? And how can they help me craft my own memorable, standout essays?”  To help get to the bottom of what made the Times ‘ featured essays so exceptional, we made you a guide on  w hat worked, and what you can emulate in your own essays to make them just as memorable for admissions.

  • Contradictions are the stuff of great literature . “I belong to the place where opposites merge in a…heap of beautiful contradictions,” muses Tillena Treborn in her lyrical essay on straddling rural and urban life in Flagstaff, AZ, one of the five pieces selected by t he Times this year. Each of the highlighted essays mined contradictions: immigrant versus citizen; service worker versus client; insider versus outsider; urban versus rural; poverty versus wealth; acceptance versus rebellion; individual versus family. Every day, we navigate opposing forces in our lives. These struggles—often rich, and full of tension—make for excellent essay topics. Ask yourself this: Do you straddle the line between ethnicities, religions, generations, languages, or locales? If so, how? In what ways do you feel like you are stuck between two worlds, or like you are an outsider? Examining the essential contradictions in your own life will provide you with fodder for a fascinating, insightful college essay.  
  • The magic is in the details — especially the sensory ones. Sensory details bring writing to life by allowing readers to experience how something looks, sounds, smells, tastes, or feels. In his American dream-themed essay about his immigrant mother cleaning the apartment of two professors, Jonathan Ababiy describes “the whir,” “suction,” and “squeal” of her “blue Hoover vacuum” as it leaps across “miles of carpet.” These descriptions allow us to both hear and see the symbolic vacuum in action. The slice-of-life familial essay by Idalia Felipe–the only essay to be published in The Times’ Snapchat Discover feature–opens with a scene: “As I sit facing our thirteen-year old refrigerator, my stomach growls at the scent of handmade tortillas and meat sizzling on the stove.” Immediately, we are brought inside Felipe’s home with its distinctive smells and sounds; our stomach seems to growl alongside hers. Use descriptive, sensory language to engage your reader, bring them into your world, and make your writing shine.
  • One-sentence paragraphs are catchy . A one-sentence paragraph, as I’m sure you’ve gleaned, is a paragraph that is only one sentence long. The form has been employed by everyone from Tim O’Brien to Charles Dickens and, now, the writers of this year’s featured Times college essays. “I live on the edge,” Ms. Treborn declares at the beginning of her poetic essay on the differences between her mother and father’s worlds. “The most exciting part was the laptop,” asserts Zoe Sottile, the recipient of the Tang Scholarship at Phillips Academy in her essay about the mutability and complexity of class identity. Starting your essay with a one-sentence paragraph—a line of description, a scene, or a question, for example—is a great way to hook the reader. You could also use a one-sentence paragraph mid-essay to emphasize a point, as Ms. Treborn does, or in your conclusion. A one-sentence paragraph is one of many tricks that you have in your writing toolkit to make your reader pause and take notice.
  • The Familiar Can Be Fascinating. The most daring essay this year, a rant on the imbalances of power embedded in the service industry by Caitlin McCormick, delivers us into the world of a family bed and breakfast with its clinking silverware and cantankerous guests demanding twice-a-day room cleanings. In Ms. Felipe’s more atmospheric piece, we enter her home before dinnertime where we see her attempting to study while her sisters giggle and watch Youtube cat videos. These are the environments these students grew up in, and they inspired everything from frustration at glaring class inequalities to gratitude for the dream of a better life. Rather than feeling like you have to write about something monumental, focus on the familiar, and consider how your environment has shaped you. How did you grow up—in the restaurant business, on a farm, in a house full of artists, construction workers, or judges? Bring us into your world, describing it meticulously and thoughtfully. Tease out the connection between your environment and who you are/what you strive for today and you will be embarking on the path of meaningful self-discovery, which is the key to college essay success.

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4 Standout College Application Essays on Work, Money and Class

“Each year, we issue an open casting call for high school seniors who have dared to address money, work or social class in their college application essays. From the large pile that arrived this spring, these four — about parents, small business, landscapes and the meaning a single object can convey — stood out. A fifth essay lives in The New York Times’s new Snapchat Discover.” …

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/12/your-money/standout-college-application-essays.html

Most of them are about under-priviledged kids. Would like to see an essay by a typical middle class or upper middle class kid living in a boring suburb.

Caitlin McCormick’s parents are the owners of the bed and breakfast she writes about in her essay. They took over the business from her grandparents in 2003.

I am confused why she writes about guests not tipping her parents. I thought you don’t tip the owner of a business.

I didn’t like McCormick’s essay either - the tipping was just part of it @MaterS . She sounds obnoxious. Why would a hotel guest “apologize” for arriving later than the reserved time? I always understood that the time of a hotel reservation is the earliest you’re allowed to arrive. And then to complain that owning a Bed-and-Breakfast is like experiencing microaggressions based on gender/class/race/ability is specious.

I really liked the one from the girl who goes to boarding school. Personally, it’s very relatable to my situation and she understands so well how it feels being privileged and unequal at the same time. What I found most interesting about her essay is the part about recognizing her own privilege. It felt kind of rushed, and in my own common app essay I’m struggling on finding a way to fit the same concept in. It’s like you’re trying to explain your feelings about being less privileged than others but still recognizing your own privilege at the same time so you don’t sound whiny. I haven’t seen an essay that has written that concept correctly. It’s a difficult concept to tackle: writing about privilege from a first-world middle class standpoint. She executed it well, but not exceptionally.

@hzhao2004 That’s impossible. By being a “middle class or upper middle class kid” you basically resign any chance of having a “standout” essay, one that’ll bring tears to the eyes of its readers. An unfortunate side effect of America’s broken college system.

@Dave , thanks for sharing the 4 very well-written essays! Is there any information about the 4 students’ other background (e.g. their test scores, their GPA, etc.). Would like to see how much they think the essay weighs in for the overall admission application. Thanks!

@hzhao2004 My “typical middle class or upper middle class kid living in a boring suburb” wrote about working at McDonald’s, and how she would have rather been lazy but her parents made her get a job. No sob story, no pulling on heartstrings, just an honest, sometimes witty essay about making fries and chicken nuggets. It got her into some great schools…

I wish there was more diversity. Great essays, but definitely needs more diversity.

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4 standout college application essays on work money and class

‘Miles Walked, Miles Driven’: This Year’s College Essays About Money

Each year, we seek out college application essays about money, work or social class. Here are five from writers who are now undergraduates.

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By Ron Lieber

Photographs by Lexi Parra

Ron Lieber wrote one of his college application essays about a television commercial for the company formerly known as Waste Management.

  • Oct. 22, 2022

Writing a personal essay is more art than science. Discussing money — what you or your family has or lacks — is tricky under the best of circumstances. Doing both well is harder still, especially if you’re a teenager and a committee of grown-ups will sit in judgment on whatever you produce.

Each year, we invite essayists to forward their work to us after they’ve submitted their thoughts on money, work, social class and related matters as part of their college applications. At their best, they inspire a kind of empathy, even if money is not on your mind all that often.

This time, we find ourselves in the human resources department with a racing mind; the kitchen as a daughter observes her mother making do; the car, driving many miles for so many reasons; the house, stuffed with way too much; and the head of a young woman wondering if her soft hands bring honor upon her family.

To write this way about these topics requires perspective, about who has what and why and how. But it also demands bravery — to go where most people don’t, including a lot of adults.

4 standout college application essays on work money and class

Katya Spajic

“Their hands symbolized their love and sacrifice for family. But my unblemished hands signified nothing in return, only evidence of wasting away their hard work.”

New York — Bronx High School of Science

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COMMENTS

  1. 4 Standout College Application Essays on Work, Money and Class

    Each year, we issue a call to high school seniors who dare to address money, work or social class in their college application essays. Here are the standouts.

  2. 4 Standout College Application Essays on Work, Money and Class

    Each year, we issue an open casting call for high school seniors who have dared to address money, work or social class in their college application essays. From the large pile that arrived this spring, these four — about parents, small business, landscapes and the meaning a single object can convey — stood out.

  3. NY Times' Five Best College Essays on Work, Money & Class Guide

    You can read them all here: 4 Standout College Application Essays on Work, Money and Class. So, you might ask, “What can I learn from this year’s crop of college essays about money, work and class? And how can they help me craft my own memorable, standout essays?”

  4. 4 Standout College Application Essays on Work, Money and Class

    “Each year, we issue an open casting call for high school seniors who have dared to address money, work or social class in their college application essays. From the large pile that arrived this spring, these four — abou…

  5. Chaos, Injustice and Joy: This Year’s College Essays About Money

    Each year, we ask teenagers to send us their application essays about work, money or social class. Here are four, from California to Cambodia.

  6. ‘Miles Walked, Miles Driven’: This Year’s College Essays ...

    Each year, we seek out college application essays about money, work or social class. Here are five from writers who are now undergraduates.