lack of communication skills essay

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Why Communication Matters

We communicate to create, maintain, and change relationships and selves..

Posted July 15, 2021 | Reviewed by Vanessa Lancaster

• Why Relationships Matter
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• How we communicate helps relationships get off on the right foot, navigate problems, and change over time.
• In communication, we develop, create, maintain, and alter our relationships.
• We communicate to work our way through family changes and challenges in verbal and non-verbal ways.

I remember seeing a poster on my junior high classroom wall: “Communication is the Beginning of Understanding.” This spoke to me at the time. Yet, like so many people, I had never really thought much about communication. I would have described communication as sending and receiving messages.

Communication Is More Than Sending and Receiving Messages

In reality, communication is often about transmitting information. We send and receive messages with people in our lives. Daily, much of our communication consists of coordinating schedules, “What time are you getting home for dinner?” and negotiating whose turn it is to do the dishes, pay the bills, or take dinner to a friend who is ill. We send messages like, “It is your turn to let the dog out” and receive messages like, “Don’t forget to get dog food at the store” (if you have not guessed, a lot of the messages in my house are about the dog).

We might also blame problems on communication, talking about “communication breakdowns” or on a “lack of communication.” If we think about communication in these ways, we have missed so much that is important about communication. We have neglected how and why communication matters.

Communication Matters to Creating and Changing Relationships

We become aware of how Communication Matters when

• We confront issues with work-life balance.
• We experience positive events like the birth of a baby or winning an award.
• We have a friend does who does not do or say what we expect.
• We have disagreements over religious beliefs or political values.

Both positive and challenging events affect, reflect, and change our identity and the identity of our personal and family relationships. What do I mean by this? How did these relationships come into being? Well, think about the last time you started a new friendship or had a new member join your family. Through what you and the other person said and did, what we’d call verbal and nonverbal communication , these relationships took shape.

Sometimes relationships develop easily and clearly. They are healthy and pleasant. Other times, relationships develop in stress and storm and may be healthy or not. How we communicate helps relationships get off on the right foot, navigate problems, and change over time.

What is important to understand is that relationships are talked into (and out of) being. In communication, we develop, create, maintain, and alter our relationships. As we communicate, we become and change who we are. Think about how you have grown and changed as you communicate at home, at work, with friends, and in your community.

Communication Matters to Relationship and Family Identity

As we communicate, we co-create relationships and our own identity. As you think about your close relationships and your family, you can likely recall important events, both positive and negative, that impacted how you understand your relationship and yourself as a person.

Consider this example: one of my college students described a childhood family ritual of going out on the front lawn on Christmas Eve. The family sang Christmas carols and threw carrots on the roof for Santa’s reindeers. The family still does this annual carrot-throwing ritual in adulthood. You can picture them bringing their sometimes confused new partners and spouses out in the snow to throw carrots onto the roof and sing.

Why does this family still throw carrots and sing? Through this seemingly silly ritual, the family celebrates who they are as a family and the togetherness that is important to them. The family creates space for new people to join the family. Through their words and actions, members of the family teach their new partners how to be family members through carrot throwing and other vital experiences.

I am sure you can point to experiences that have been central to creating your relationships and your identity.

Communication Matters as We Face Change and Challenges

We also communicate to work our way through family changes and challenges. Family members or others may have different expectations of what our family and personal identity or should be. This is especially true when a family does not fit dominant cultural models, such as single-parent families, multi-ethnic families, stepfamilies, LGBTQ families, or adoptive families.

For me, becoming a stepfamily was highly challenging. We became a stepfamily when I was 12 years old. My mother had recently died, and my Dad surprised us, kids, introducing us to the woman he wanted to marry. We no longer matched the other families in the neighborhood where we’d lived most of our lives. We certainly did not feel like a family overnight.

It took my stepfamily several years to create an understanding of what it meant to be a family. As we interacted, and with many mistakes and some successes, we slowly came to understand what we needed and expected from each other to be a family.

For all of us, relationship and family identity is constantly developing and changing. In my case, I remember my stepmom reminding me to wear a jacket when going out in the evening, even into my 40s, and giving me advice about my health. At some point, our roles changed, and now, as she moves toward her 80s, more often than not, I am in the role of asking about her health and helping her with significant decisions. What it means to be a mother or daughter and what we expect of each other and ourselves change as we interact.

Communication Matters . Whether we are negotiating whose turn it is to feed the dog, how to become a parent, how to interact with a difficult co-worker, or how to celebrate with a friend who won a major award, it is in communication that we learn what to do and say. This is what I will write about in this blog as I reflect on what I have learned as a professor and researcher of interpersonal and family communication. I invite you to go on this journey with me. I hope to give you insights into your communication.

Communication Matters. Communication is the Beginning of Understanding . It is an exciting and ever-changing journey.

Baxter, L. A. (2004). Relationships as dialogues. Personal Relationships, 11 , 1-22. doi: 10.1111/j.1475-6811.2004.00068.x

Braithwaite, D. O., Foster, E. A., & Bergen, K. M. (2018). Social construction theory: Communication co-creating families. In D. O. Braithwaite, E. A. Suter, & K. Floyd. (Eds.). Engaging theories in family communication: Multiple perspectives (2nd ed., pp. 267-278). Routledge.

Braithwaite, D. O., Waldron, V. R., Allen, J., Bergquist, G., Marsh, J., Oliver, B., Storck, K., Swords, N., & Tschampl-Diesing, C. (2018). “Feeling warmth and close to her”: Communication and resilience reflected in turning points in positive adult stepchild-stepparent relationships. Journal of Family Communication, 18 , 92-109. doi: 10.1080/15267431.2017.1415902

Dawn O. Braithwaite, Ph.D., a professor of communication at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, studies families and close relationships, especially step- and chosen families.

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Lack of Communication: Signs, Examples, and What to Do

Categories Relationships

Lack of communication is when people fail to interact and express themselves in ways that foster healthy connections and relationships. This can take a toll on trust and intimacy in close relationships.

Poor or insufficient communication in relationships can create problems, including insecurity and conflict. Here’s what you should do if you struggle to get your point across or understand where someone else is coming from.

Whether you are interacting with your partner, a friend, or a coworker, communication is critical to the success of any relationship. Good communication means that each person feels seen, heard, and understood. 

Communication isn’t just about what you say out loud. It can also include all of the subtle verbal and nonverbal ways you communicate. For example, consider how you might tell someone you are “fine” even though your body language says otherwise.

Lack of communication can stem from many sources, but it can ultimately undermine the trust and connection between two people. Fortunately, there are many strategies that can help you troubleshoot communication problems and find ways to bridge the gap.

Table of Contents

Signs of a Lack of Communication

A lack of communication in a relationship can be upsetting and confusing. You might want to understand how the other person is feeling, but poor communication leaves you feeling unsure or completely in the dark.

In order to get to the root of the problem, you need to be able to recognize the signs. Some key signs that communication is lacking in your relationship include:

• Not listening to one another
• Constantly interrupting
• Avoiding certain topics
• Yelling, shouting, or screaming
• Shutting down and giving each other the silent treatment
• Gaslighting to deny the other person’s reality
• Expecting someone to be able to read your mind
• Not clearly explaining expectations
• Dismissing what people say
• Engaging in passive-aggressive behavior
• Stonewalling
• Feeling isolated and misunderstood
• Not sharing all the details or information with one another
• Blaming language
• One-sided communication

What Causes a Lack of Communication?

Lack of communication may stem from a person’s upbringing, past relationship experiences, personality differences, and poor communication skills.

If people grow up in a household with a lack of communication or dysfunctional communication, they are more likely to repeat those same patterns in their own relationships as adults.

Patterns in past relationships can also contribute to a lack of communication. Having a past uncommunicative or passive-aggressive partner might lead a person to expect future relationships to involve similar communication patterns.

Personality traits can also play a role. Introverts, for example, may be quieter and less talkative overall. This can sometimes lead to communication challenges, especially if their partner is more extroverted.

Examples of a Lack of Communication in Relationships

Some classic examples of a lack of communication in a relationship can include:

• Avoiding talking about important topics or issues.
• Assuming rather than asking for clarification or confirmation.
• Stonewalling or withdrawing during conversations.
• Making assumptions about the other person’s thoughts or feelings without checking in.
• Ignoring or dismissing the other person’s perspective or concerns.
• Not actively listening or paying attention during conversations.
• Withholding information or feelings due to fear of conflict or rejection.
• Using passive-aggressive behavior instead of addressing issues directly.
• Keeping secrets or hiding important details about one’s life or emotions.
• Allowing misunderstandings to persist without attempting to resolve them through open dialogue.

Unfortunately, lack of communication can contribute to conflict, arguing, and even divorce. In one study, researchers found that conflict and arguments were one of the primary factors leading to divorce. Another study found that 70% of couples cited “communication” as a key factor leading to divorce.

Can You Overcome a Lack of Communication?

If you are dealing with a lack of communication in a relationship, you might wonder if there are things you can do to fix the problem. Communication issues can absolutely be overcome, but both people have to be willing to put in the work.

Unfortunately, the same reasons people experience poor communication are sometimes the same reasons they refuse to change how they interact and communicate with others. If the other person doesn’t make an effort, communication problems may be difficult or impossible to overcome.

If this is the case, it is important to establish clear boundaries. Sometimes, you may need to limit your interactions with that person or consider ending the relationship. 

Dealing With a Lack of Communication

If you are both committed to improving your interactions, there are a number of strategies you can use to effectively overcome a lack of communication. Some ways you can get started include:

Use Active Listening

Set aside your own feelings and instead concentrate on what the other person is trying to say. Give them your full attention and focus on listening to understand vs. listening to respond.

Use “I” Statement

Frame your comments around how you feel, what you need, or what you want. Focus on how you feel (“I feel worried when we don’t talk…”) instead of what the other person is doing (“You never call me…”). 

Such language is less accusatory and less likely to provoke defensiveness, which can lead to conflict and a lack of communication. 

Give Helpful Feedback

As you talk, reflect on what the other person is saying, ask questions, and provide constructive feedback. Saying something like, “Thanks so much for sharing that. It really helps me see where you’re coming from,” helps the other person feel more supported and understood.

Choose the Right Time

Make time to have conversations when both people are comfortable and relaxed. Don’t try to have important or difficult conversations when angry, pressured, or stressed . Choosing the right time helps ensure that you have the right mindset to have a meaningful, productive conversation.

Be Empathetic 

Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Being empathetic and striving to really understand where the other person is coming from can give you insight into what they need and how you can’t respond more effectively.

Key Points to Remember

• Lack of communication can lead to misunderstandings, resentment, and disconnection between partners.
• Healthy relationships require open and honest communication to foster understanding and mutual support.
• Avoiding difficult conversations can exacerbate issues and hinder the growth of the relationship.
• Consistent efforts to improve communication skills and address concerns can strengthen trust and intimacy in relationships.

Scott, S. B., Rhoades, G. K., Stanley, S. M., Allen, E. S., & Markman, H. J. (2013). Reasons for divorce and recollections of premarital intervention: Implications for improving relationship education . Couple & Family Psychology , 2 (2), 131–145. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0032025

Williamson, H. C., Bradbury, T. N., Nguyen, T. P., & Karney, B. R. (2016). Are problems that contribute to divorce present at the start of marriage, or do they emerge over time? Journal of Social and Personal Relationships , 33 (8), 1120–1134. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407515617705

Improving Communication Skills Problem Solution Essay

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Introduction

Aspect of interpersonal communication that needs work, causes of lack of assertiveness, improving lack of assertiveness.

Human beings are structured to interact and this is through communication, verbal or otherwise. Hence, it is of utmost importance that we are able to communicate effectively with various people in different places and situations. However simple communication may seem to be, there are times that we do not get our point across to the other party for one reason or another.

The problem is mostly on us as the conveyors of the message and at all times, improvements need to be done to ensure clarity in communication. In this paper, I will tackle a personal barrier that hinders interpersonal communication (IPC), how it affects communication and how best to improve.

Interpersonal communication has been defined as the process in which we share out our “ideas, thoughts and feelings to another person” (Foundation n.d., p.1). However, this process encounters obstacles along the way and the sources vary, one of them being the communicator.

A personal area that needs to be improved is the lack of assertiveness which is a big hindrance in communication. Assertiveness is one of the four styles of communication, the other three being; passive, aggressive and passive-aggressive communication (Kardol n.d.). Assertiveness can be defined as “standing up for rights and expressing feelings in an honest, open and direct way which do not violate another person’s rights” (Grey Owl, 2004, p.1).

Lack of assertiveness would therefore mean: the presence of the belief that as an individual, “I do not have the right to ask for what I want”; fearing getting a negative feedback from the recipients of the message; a defensive approach in communication while guarding oneself from those who might take advantage; and finally inadequate skills (Kardol, n.d. p.2).

What causes a lack of assertiveness? There are many contributors to this i.e. self-esteem, incompetence or self-fulfilling prophecy. Self-esteem is the “evaluation and judgment or how we feel about ourselves” (Edwards, 2007, p.4). If it is low, then chances are there will be tendencies to avoid speaking in public. If it high on the other hand, our communication will be effective (Grey Owl 2004). Self-esteem also influences our self-image and will determine how the listeners receive our message (Edwards 2007). Low self-esteem is also likely to get negative feedback from the listeners.

Self-fulfilling prophecy on the other hand is the way in which “we predict, or prophesize something to be true” (Edwards, 2007, p.4). This can either have a positive or negative impact especially with the outcome we expect. For instance if I truly believe I will fall on the stage when delivering a speech, chances are that it will happen and it will be because the idea will have been deeply synthesized in my mind to the point of becoming a reality.

Another hurdle to assertiveness is incompetency. If we do not feel confident enough to fulfill the role assigned to us due to lack of knowledge, then chances are we look down ourselves and feel ‘we do not have the right to ask’ since we do not even know our duty in the first place. A person who is knowledgeable on the other hand is able to accomplish their tasks confidently (Foundation n.d.).

How then can lack of assertiveness be improved to ensure effective communication in the long run? Engaging in self-talk, visualization, seeking to become knowledgeable; are some ways to improving assertiveness. Self-talk for instance is a way of counteracting low self-esteem. Becoming knowledgeable will involve initially getting acquainted with the “communication process and fully understanding it in order to know how to deliver messages correctly (Foundation n.d., p.2). Being knowledgeable gives confidence (Foundation n.d.).

In the article by Grey Owl (2004), being assertive involves knowing one’s right and it is on this premise that improvement should be made. These rights include: “rights to have and express your own feeling and ideas, rights to be listened to and taken seriously, right to ask for what you want, right to get some of your own needs met, rights to be treated with respect, right to say ‘no’…and not feel guilty, right to ask for information from others” (Grey Owl, 2004, p.2). With a full knowledge of these rights, then one is on the pathway of assertiveness.

Visualization is the other way in which self-esteem can be improved and consequently achieving assertiveness in the process. It involves foreseeing positive results instead of negative ones. Alternatively, one can use a positive self-fulfilling prophecy in order to obtain good results.

Assertiveness is of great importance since it “helps individuals to be clear on what they want and to act in a positive, honest, direct and self-enhancing way without diminishing self” (Grey Owl, 2004, p.2). It also puts emphasizes on both sides of the story i.e. both parties can air their opinions and views without infringing anyone’s rights (Grey Owl 2004).

Effective interpersonal communication will be best achieved by identification of the barrier. In this case lack of assertiveness. Once this is done, then solutions to improving assertiveness will not only improve the communication but will ensure the right results are achieved.

Edwards, C. (2007). Theories and Principles of Interpersonal Communication. Web.

Foundation. (n.d.). Effective Interpersonal/ Intrateam Communication . Web.

Grey, O. (2004). Lack of Assertiveness . Web.

Kardol, C. (n.d.). Communication Skills . Web.

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Essay on Importance Of Effective Communication

Students are often asked to write an essay on Importance Of Effective Communication in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Importance Of Effective Communication

Understanding each other.

When people talk and listen well, they understand each other better. Just like friends sharing secrets, clear talking and careful listening make sure no one gets confused or upset. It’s like playing catch – if you throw and catch well, the game goes on smoothly.

Getting Things Done

Good communication is like a key that opens doors. At school or at home, when you explain what you need clearly, it’s easier for others to help you. It’s like giving clear directions to someone so they can find the way without getting lost.

Building Relationships

Talking and listening to each other is the glue in friendships. When we share our thoughts and feelings, we grow closer. It’s like building a bridge between two islands, making it easier to meet in the middle.

Stopping Arguments

When we talk clearly and listen to what others say, many fights can be avoided. It’s like seeing a stop sign before a crash happens – it keeps everyone safe from misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

250 Words Essay on Importance Of Effective Communication

Why good communication matters.

Talking and listening are parts of everyday life. Good communication is like a bridge that lets people share thoughts, feelings, and information. It’s important in school, work, and even play. When we talk clearly and listen well, we can learn better, make friends, and solve problems easily.

Learning Together

In school, if a teacher explains lessons in a way that’s easy to get, students can understand and remember things better. If students ask questions and give answers clearly, everyone learns more. This is why being good at talking and listening can help in getting good grades and knowing more.

Work and Teamwork

At work, if a boss tells workers what to do in a simple, clear way, the job gets done right. If team members talk to each other well, they can work together without getting mixed up. This means the work is better and everyone is happier.

Making Friends

With friends, talking and listening are keys to having fun and helping each other. When we share stories and listen to what others say, friendships grow. If we can’t talk well or don’t listen, misunderstandings happen, and feelings might get hurt.

Solving Problems

When there’s a problem, talking in a calm and clear way can fix things faster. If we listen to others and explain our side without getting mad, most problems can be solved easily.

In short, good communication is a superpower for learning, working, making friends, and solving problems. It’s a skill worth getting better at every day.

500 Words Essay on Importance Of Effective Communication

What is effective communication, why is talking well important.

Imagine you have a great idea during a class project. You share it with your friends, and because you explain it well, they all get excited and want to help. This is one reason why talking well is important. It helps us share our ideas and feelings in a way that others can understand. When we talk well, we make friends, solve problems, and get things done.

Listening is Part of Talking Well

Talking isn’t just about speaking; it’s also about listening. When we listen, we learn what others think and feel. This helps us to know them better and to work together well. Good listeners show they care about what the other person is saying. This makes the other person feel important and happy to talk more.

How Does Talking Well Help at School?

In school, you need to talk well to do many things. You need it to ask questions when you don’t understand something, to answer questions to show what you know, and to work on projects with other students. When you talk well, teachers and classmates understand you better, and you can learn and do more.

Talking Well Helps With Problems

Sometimes we have disagreements or problems with others. Effective communication helps us solve these problems. When we talk about what’s bothering us in a calm and clear way, we can find solutions faster. It’s like untangling a knot instead of pulling it tighter.

Talking Well is Important for the Future

As you grow up, you will meet many new people and do different things. You might work on big projects, help others, or lead a group. To do these things well, you need to talk well. People who communicate effectively are often chosen for important tasks and leadership roles because others trust them to share ideas and information clearly.

Talking well is a powerful tool. It helps us learn, make friends, solve problems, and be successful in school and life. Like any other skill, effective communication gets better with practice. So keep sharing your thoughts and listening to others, and you will see how it opens doors to many opportunities. Remember, when you talk and listen well, you’re throwing and catching the ball perfectly, making the game of communication fun and rewarding for everyone.

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8 Ways You Can Improve Your Communication Skills

Your guide to establishing better communication habits for success in the workplace.

Mary Sharp Emerson

A leader’s ability to communicate clearly and effectively with employees, within teams, and across the organization is one of the foundations of a successful business.

And in today’s complex and quickly evolving business environment, with hundreds of different communication tools, fully or partially remote teams, and even multicultural teams spanning multiple time zones, effective communication has never been more important — or more challenging.

Thus, the ability to communicate might be a manager’s most critical skill. 

The good news is that these skills can be learned and even mastered. 

These eight tips can help you maximize your communication skills for the success of your organization and your career.

1. Be clear and concise

Communication is primarily about word choice. And when it comes to word choice, less is more.

The key to powerful and persuasive communication — whether written or spoken — is clarity and, when possible, brevity. 

Before engaging in any form of communication, define your goals and your audience. 

Outlining carefully and explicitly what you want to convey and why will help ensure that you include all necessary information. It will also help you eliminate irrelevant details. 

Avoid unnecessary words and overly flowery language, which can distract from your message.

And while repetition may be necessary in some cases, be sure to use it carefully and sparingly. Repeating your message can ensure that your audience receives it, but too much repetition can cause them to tune you out entirely. 

2. Prepare ahead of time

Know what you are going to say and how you are going to say before you begin any type of communication.

However, being prepared means more than just practicing a presentation. 

Preparation also involves thinking about the entirety of the communication, from start to finish. Research the information you may need to support your message. Consider how you will respond to questions and criticisms. Try to anticipate the unexpected.

Before a performance review, for instance, prepare a list of concrete examples of your employee’s behavior to support your evaluation.

Before engaging in a salary or promotion negotiation, know exactly what you want. Be ready to discuss ranges and potential compromises; know what you are willing to accept and what you aren’t. And have on hand specific details to support your case, such as relevant salaries for your position and your location (but be sure that your research is based on publicly available information, not company gossip or anecdotal evidence). 

Before entering into any conversation, brainstorm potential questions, requests for additional information or clarification, and disagreements so you are ready to address them calmly and clearly.

3. Be mindful of nonverbal communication

Our facial expressions, gestures, and body language can, and often do, say more than our words. 

Nonverbal cues can have between 65 and 93 percent more impact than the spoken word. And we are more likely to believe the nonverbal signals over spoken words if the two are in disagreement. 

Leaders must be especially adept at reading nonverbal cues. 

Employees who may be unwilling to voice disagreements or concerns, for instance, may show their discomfort through crossed arms or an unwillingness to make eye contact. If you are aware of others’ body language, you may be able to adjust your communication tactics appropriately.

At the same time, leaders must also be able to control their own nonverbal communications. 

Your nonverbal cues must, at all times, support your message. At best, conflicting verbal and nonverbal communication can cause confusion. At worst, it can undermine your message and your team’s confidence in you, your organization, and even in themselves. 

4. Watch your tone

How you say something can be just as important as what you say. As with other nonverbal cues, your tone can add power and emphasis to your message, or it can undermine it entirely.

Tone can be an especially important factor in workplace disagreements and conflict. A well-chosen word with a positive connotation creates good will and trust. A poorly chosen word with unclear or negative connotations can quickly lead to misunderstanding. 

When speaking, tone includes volume, projection, and intonation as well as word choice. In real time, it can be challenging to control tone to ensure that it matches your intent. But being mindful of your tone will enable you to alter it appropriately if a communication seems to be going in the wrong direction.

Tone can be easier to control when writing. Be sure to read your communication once, even twice, while thinking about tone as well as message. You may even want to read it out loud or ask a trusted colleague to read it over, if doing so does not breach confidentiality. 

And when engaging in a heated dialogue over email or other written medium, don’t be too hasty in your replies. 

If at all possible, write out your response but then wait for a day or two to send it. In many cases, re-reading your message after your emotions have cooled allows you to moderate your tone in a way that is less likely to escalate the conflict.

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5. Practice active listening

Communication nearly always involves two or more individuals.

Therefore, listening is just as important as speaking when it comes to communicating successfully. But listening can be more challenging than we realize. 

In her blog post Mastering the Basics of Communication , communication expert Marjorie North notes that we only hear about half of what the other person says during any given conversation. 

The goal of active listening is to ensure that you hear not just the words the person is saying, but the entire message. Some tips for active listening include:

• Giving the speaker your full and undivided attention
• Clearing your mind of distractions, judgements, and counter-arguments. 
• Avoiding the temptation to interrupt with your own thoughts.
• Showing open, positive body language to keep your mind focused and to show the speaker that you are really listening
• Rephrase or paraphrase what you’ve heard when making your reply
• Ask open ended questions designed to elicit additional information

6. Build your emotional intelligence

Communication is built upon a foundation of emotional intelligence. Simply put, you cannot communicate effectively with others until you can assess and understand your own feelings. 

“If you’re aware of your own emotions and the behaviors they trigger, you can begin to manage these emotions and behaviors,” says Margaret Andrews in her post, How to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence .

Leaders with a high level of emotional intelligence will naturally find it easier to engage in active listening, maintain appropriate tone, and use positive body language, for example.  

Understanding and managing your own emotions is only part of emotional intelligence. The other part — equally important for effective communication — is empathy for others.

Empathizing with an employee can, for example, make a difficult conversation easier. 

You may still have to deliver bad news, but (actively) listening to their perspective and showing that you understand their feelings can go a long way toward smoothing hurt feelings or avoiding misunderstandings.

7. Develop a workplace communication strategy

Today’s workplace is a constant flow of information across a wide variety of formats. Every single communication must be understood in the context of that larger flow of information.

Even the most effective communicator may find it difficult to get their message across without a workplace communication strategy.

A communication strategy is the framework within which your business conveys and receives information. It can — and should — outline how and what you communicate to customers and clients, stakeholders, and managers and employees. 

Starting most broadly, your strategy should incorporate who gets what message and when. This ensures that everyone receives the correct information at the right time. 

It can be as detailed as how you communicate, including defining the type of tools you use for which information. For example, you may define when it’s appropriate to use a group chat for the entire team or organization or when a meeting should have been summarized in an email instead. 

Creating basic guidelines like this can streamline the flow of information. It will help ensure that everyone gets the details they need and that important knowledge isn’t overwhelmed by extraneous minutia. 

8. Create a positive organizational culture

The corporate culture in which you are communicating also plays a vital role in effective communication. 

In a positive work environment — one founded on transparency, trust, empathy, and open dialogue — communication in general will be easier and more effective. 

Employees will be more receptive to hearing their manager’s message if they trust that manager. And managers will find it easier to create buy-in and even offer constructive criticism if they encourage their employees to speak up, offer suggestions, and even offer constructive criticisms of their own. 

“The most dangerous organization is a silent one,” says Lorne Rubis in a blog post, Six Tips for Building a Better Workplace Culture . Communication, in both directions, can only be effective in a culture that is built on trust and a foundation of psychological safety.

Authoritative managers who refuse to share information, aren’t open to suggestions, and refuse to admit mistakes and accept criticism are likely to find their suggestions and criticisms met with defensiveness or even ignored altogether. 

Without that foundation of trust and transparency, even the smallest communication can be misconstrued and lead to misunderstandings and unnecessary conflict.

Communicating with co-workers and employees is always going to present challenges. There will always be misunderstandings and miscommunications that must be resolved and unfortunately, corporate messages aren’t always what we want to hear, especially during difficult times.

But building and mastering effective communication skills will make your job easier as a leader, even during difficult conversations. Taking the time to build these skills will certainly be time well-spent. 

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About the Author

Digital Content Producer

Emerson is a Digital Content Producer at Harvard DCE. She is a graduate of Brandeis University and Yale University and started her career as an international affairs analyst. She is an avid triathlete and has completed three Ironman triathlons, as well as the Boston Marathon.

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Lack of communication in the workplace: causes and effects

Workplace communication is the exchange of information and ideas within an organization. Effective workplace communication is essential for companies to work effectively and productively.

With great internal communication between employees and employers comes increased morale, productivity, and commitment, especially with employers who spend the time and energy to create open communication lines.

These types of managers quickly build trust among employees , resulting in increased productivity and performance. Employees who effectively communicate with their colleagues and bosses continue to be valuable assets to the company.

Why is communication so important in the workplace?

• It avoids confusion
• It provides purpose
• It fosters a transparent company culture
• It creates accountability
• It builds productivity and growth

Effective communication in the workplace is central to reaching all business goals, as it defines organizational goals and helps coworkers better collaborate with one another. However, not all communication in a business environment is created equal. Some companies suffer from poor communication, resulting in friction, frustration, and confusion.

Poor communication often creates a tense environment where people are not motivated to be productive and not inspired to collaborate. This lack of motivation then affects how employees relate to clients and potential customers, negatively affecting the bottom line. So what is poor communication, exactly, and what are some of the causes and effects of poor communication?

What is poor communication in the workplace?

Poor workplace communication might mean that lines of communication are entirely broken, but this is relatively rare. More often, communication issues occur when there is a discrepancy between what is said and what is heard, whether between colleagues or between an employee and a manager. More specifically, the understanding between two people is not mutual when the person being communicated with misunderstands what you’re trying to communicate.

Here’s an example. An employer sets a deadline for turning in data on Friday, and an employee readily agrees to get the data in on Friday. On the surface, this may seem like good communication. However, the employee might think they have until 5 p.m. to deliver the data when it is actually due on Friday at 10 a.m. This mismatch of deadlines stemmed from poor communication — the information communicated between the employer and employee was incomplete.

What are the causes of poor communication in the workplace?

Poor leadership.

Employees look to business owners and their managers for direction in the workplace. Good communication that starts from the top down motivates staff members to be more productive and innovative. These good leaders clearly communicate objectives, goals, and future visions.

Poor leaders, on the other hand, are often indecisive and unable to inspire their teams. They may be impatient in their communication style, conveying that impatience through their tone of voice, facial expressions, or other means of nonverbal communication.

Poor communication and bad leadership may also stem from managers who lack information themselves. These managers are unable to answer questions or clarify points, so their employees are left even more confused and frustrated than when they started.

Unclear Objectives

Goals and objectives are powerful in business, as they focus attention on achieving desirable outcomes, such as profitability. Profitability does not just happen magically. It requires attentive employees who know what management expects them to accomplish and transparent objectives provide that direction.

If organizations lack clear strategic goals, or if managers are not informed of the tactical objectives their teams are expected to meet, employees will not receive the direction they need. This leads to confusion and frustration. Employees may end up underperforming even when trying their best.

Limited Feedback

Feedback is information that flows to a person who performed an action, informing that person of the results of that action. It is one of the most important forms of communication because it’s where real learning happens.

Effective employee feedback , both positive and negative, provides valuable information for making important decisions and improvements in the future. Top-performing companies recognize feedback as a key step in their continuous improvement cycles.

Without clear testing steps for each iteration and action, feedback will be limited. For example, does a new website form represent a significant improvement over the old one? Is a new product feature significantly easier to use? Without good feedback, employees will not have clear direction for improvement.

Demoralized Employees

When an employee loses interest in their work, they often become disengaged, creating communication problems for the company. Employees who feel demoralized often feel unvalued, unappreciated, and even disrespected despite their capacities and talents. This will often lead to the employee becoming unproductive and irritable, disregarding open lines of communication.

Restoring employee morale may involve reevaluating workplace culture to create an environment in which employees are personally invested enough to work—and communicate—with a good attitude.

Learn 5 Ways to Motivate Disengaged Employees

Cultural Diversity in the Workplace

Diverse work environments have been proven to help companies grow, as they bring in new ideas for greater creativity and innovation. However, one challenge of increasing diversity in the workplace is the potential for poor communication. Different people from different backgrounds relay messages in different ways, with varied nonverbal cues, and the way messages are interpreted will often be different.

What are the effects of poor communication in the workplace?

Unpredictable work environment.

Poor communication causes a lack of predictability and stability within the workplace, leading to an uneasy environment for employees to work in. Employees might not clearly understand their objectives for the week or might misunderstand the process for a project, leading to poor productivity and ineffectiveness at their job. Employees and employers have a responsibility to facilitate an active dialogue in order to create a stable work environment in which employees can do their best work.

Less Effective Collaboration

Collaboration and communication go hand in hand. If employees are unable to communicate effectively, collaboration is very likely to suffer as well. Collaboration in the workplace is important in many ways, from promoting self-analysis to efficient problem-solving. Without collaboration, teams end up working in isolated silos, unaware of the progress and learning that has been achieved in other areas.

Workplace Conflict

The effects of poor communication may cause tensions to rise, resulting in potential conflicts between employees. Although they might not be immediately obvious, these tensions can cause two-way communication to break down even more.

An unwillingness to communicate may cause employees to make the wrong assumptions, resulting in work that has to be repeated—sometimes over and over. Good communication prevents workplace tensions from arising in the first place.

With poor communication, employees may have a harder time meeting expectations and deadlines, resulting in them falling behind. This could leave them with a sense of guilt, embarrassment, or even low self-esteem. This, in turn, can lead to significant drops in job satisfaction and a significant rise in attrition.

Lack of communication between management and employees

Although the lack of effective communication between management and employees can lead to significant frustration, poor communication is rarely intentional. In most cases, breakdowns in communication can be traced back to poor communication skills or simply not having the right communication tools.

Tips for more effective communication in the workplace

Effective workplace communication starts with strong workplace communication skills. The following communication strategies and effective communication practices can significantly improve communication between coworkers.

Active Listening

Ineffective communication often begins when the desire to communicate information is so strong that it overpowers the impulse to listen. Effective teams employ strong two-way communication to ensure that messages are communicated well in both directions.

When a manager conveys information, for example, employees may raise concerns about what they are being asked to do. Managers need to listen actively to those concerns, repeating them to ensure understanding and addressing them directly.

Constructive Feedback

Constructive feedback is the art of conveying feedback that is clear, actionable, and positive. For example, a creative director might say something like this: “I love how you’ve incorporated our brand elements into this design. Let’s make this section here larger to really draw the eye to the focal point. Nice work.”

The first statement is positive, making sure the listener feels appreciated. The next statement provides clear, actionable direction that the artist can easily follow. It will improve the design while also conveying information the artist can learn from. The final statement returns to the overarching message of appreciation, recognizing the effort that the artist has put into the work.

Eye Contact

In oral communication, maintaining eye contact while listening will reassure the speaker that they are being heard. It is important, however, that facial expressions remain calm and open. Eye contact can be perceived as aggressive or derogatory when accompanied by negative emotional cues.

Nonverbal Communication

Eye contact is just one example of the nonverbal communication that makes up a huge portion of the information we take in during face-to-face communication. Effective workplace communication skills involve profound self-awareness of body language and facial expressions. The speaker must be aware not just of the words they’re choosing but of the way in which those words are delivered.

One common misconception is the idea that strong communication is delivered with a sense of force. In fact, remaining calm, even under pressure, conveys inner strength and is a far more effective communication method. A team leader who listens openly and addresses concerns with empathy is much more likely to foster active team collaboration and achieve operational results.

Frequent Communication

To combat poor communication, good team leaders write project descriptions clearly, assign individual tasks fairly, check in regularly to ask how things are, and set aside time each week to address workplace concerns. They also maintain an open-door policy to make sure grievances are addressed quickly and efficiently.

For these leaders, informal conversations, casual interactions, and honest communication often play key roles in their effective communication skills.

How to address poor communication in the workplace

To open communication channels, break down communication barriers, and build more effective teams, conveying key communication skills may not be enough. Company goals and company policies need to be conveyed consistently, across multiple communication channels. Senior management depends on middle management to bridge the gap between strategy and tactics, fostering collaboration and strong communication across every human interaction.

This requires more than good communication skills—effective communication also requires the right communication tools. At the managerial level, this might include project management tools to keep everyone on the same page or video conferencing tools to include remote teams in face-to-face interactions. Effective teams need many types of workplace internal communication tools to foster and maintain employee satisfaction.

For enterprise organizations, company communications present an even bigger problem. Maintaining a strong, vibrant company culture across remote teams in different cities and even around the world requires communication tools that are designed to address these unique needs.

Improving company communications—how to solve poor communication in the workplace

From demoralized employees to workplace conflicts, poor communication detrimentally affects an organization’s productivity and overall workplace culture. Improving communications can prove valuable for any business, leading to increased productivity, higher morale, and a positive benefit to the bottom line.

Enterprise businesses in particular need to prioritize investment in communication for a strong, vibrant corporate culture —including new technologies that can promote and maintain open lines of communication across a widely distributed workforce.

Here at Simpplr, we devote our time to simplifying employee communication , making it easier to connect and align with your employees. Our modern intranet solution opens multiple lines of communication with your employees so you can reach them where they are—in the ways they want to communicate—fostering an open culture of growth and transparent communication.

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Related Resources

Key Communication Styles for Leaders

Enhancing Employee Communication Strategies

Key Insights on Internal Communication Statistics

Effective Communication Strategies in the Workplace

Common Communication Mistakes in the Workplace

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Home — Essay Samples — Sociology — Interpersonal Communication — The Impact of Texting on Interpersonal Communication Skills

The Impact of Texting on Interpersonal Communication Skills

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Chapter 8: COVID and learning

8.5 The effect of online learning on communication during COVID-19 (synthesis)

Anonymous English 102 Writer

February 2021

Have you ever thought about how a virus   could change the habits of the world, especially in education? The crisis of the COVID-19 pandemic hit all over the world and has completely changed education. Some colleges refused to switch from the traditional teaching style to virtual classes. Many argue about this issue and how to deal with these new circumstances; some of them claim that the coronavirus is a good turning point that can open our eyes to a new style of learning. Others, however, prefer traditional, in-person learning. So, I am interested in learning how Covid-19 affects communications and our lifestyle specifically between the years 2020-2021 because our education system is impacted by this crisis   and I am   also   interesting to find the results and the studies that people have done about this topic.   I was surprised to see the number of studies   discussing COVID-19 that have already been published.   

The article “Online and Remote Learning in Higher Education Institutes: A Necessity in Light of COVID-19 Pandemic” by Wahab Ali discusses how higher education is being affected by COVID-19; specifically, the article describes the shift to online learning, difficulties students face, and the challenging teaching environments.   Ali argues   that virtual learning is more  effective than traditional learning , he   discuss   the difficulties that faced the students,   which caused a lot of challenges in the teaching   environments   ,   due to the rapid technological development beyond the crisis that led people to turn to technology in order to study and   communicate with each other effectively   (16). Also, some colleges give tools to the students   in order to   help them study effectively and give them the opportunity to study and communicate (16).   He relates to Gee’s   secondary discourse when he claims that in this   period of time, all people, especially students, will easily adapt to online learning due to   their   big knowledge, skills and   familiarity   with technology,   so he   stats that   the new technology   affects our communications in our daily   life style,   and how our education under this pandemic   allow   us to learn a   new ways   to communicate   (Ali   17).   If, for example, students want to contact their teachers, they will have to learn how to send formal emails; but, the knowledge of sending emails and communicating online is already ingrained in them. However, some   universities closed because they could not create a good environment for their students to learn. Ali encourages authorities and teachers to provide more information and to be prepared to improve the education system, strengthen their plans to provide more   effective lectures, and give students the opportunity to understand their lectures (17). He refers to Gee’s article, “The Oral Mode is More Narrowly Useful,” because both mention that the development of technology has major impacts upon society and communication; Gee emphasizes in his article the importance of learning new methods and how to deal with technology. The oral mode refers to spoken language during face-to-face classes. Gee and Ali also have the same opinion about the importance of learning new   technology. In addition, Ali motions in his article that some universities, such as New York University, were prepared for rapid change and met all their students’ needs for online classes by giving them tools and technology (19); successful adaptations require prior plans and an awareness of all changing circumstances (19).   

Moreover, an article by Deepika Nambiar,   “The   impact of online learning during COVID-19: students’ and teachers’ perspective” discusses the impacts of online learning on the communications between the students and their teachers. She argues that interactions between   them depend on their perspective and experiences of online learning (1); she includes a study with a survey method to collect data from universities in Bangalore to determine educators’ and teachers’   prescriptives   because education has a special place and plays a big role in India (1). She observed that rapidly switching the education system in India to be online has a very big  impact on the students’ interactions and communications due to the lack of required methods and apps for virtual learning (7); students were adapting to take their lecture in-person   even though   some colleges give tools to the students. Even so, they cannot   make every aspect of online   education equal; for example, not all students have access to reliable internet, which immediately   puts them at a disadvantage. This rapid switch affects their performances, grades, and attendance, lowering their ability to effectively participate during class time (7). Also, online learning reduces students’ understanding of lectures and prevents them from physically interacting in their labs or researching (7). Nambiar states in her article that “the results of the survey showed that 86.9% of the teachers reported that they preferred classroom teaching method more than online teaching mode” and “11.8% preferred online classes” (4). So, online learning prevents teachers from understanding their students’ understanding of the material which allows them to know the effectiveness of their materials and method they use. Also, it minimizes their ability to individually contact their students to evaluate their levels. Furthermore, teachers had difficulty adapting to an online format while still teaching effectively (Nambiar   2). Teachers also confirmed that online learning is an evidence of the evolution that allows them to teach from anywhere, but it has harmful effects on their interactions with students and prevents them from engaging with their students physically (7). It allows students to have more absences due to the lack of internet services or poverty. Lastly, teachers must spend many more hours preparing their lectures because online learning has a more formal form (7). Overall, this study shows how online learning affects students and faculty and discusses all negative aspects that the authorities   should be aware of when they are making the rules for the education systems.   In order to   obtain a comfortable environment for the students to learn and support the teachers, authorities   must create strong strategies to improve learning under this pandemic (10).  

Furthermore,   Settha   Kuama   in “Is Online Learning Suitable for All English Language Students?” begins by explaining how online   learning affects students who are studying the English language.   Kuama   states that, despite all the advantages of online learning due to its flexible environment, English learners have faced many difficulties throughout online learning such as the “cognitive challenge,” which includes understanding apps’ dynamic functions in order to succeed (65). Students also have trouble organizing their time to ensure they never miss their due dates and watch their lectures, which don’t include any attendance grades.   In addition, according to Aydin (2011), students may have “computer   and Internet   anxiety,” anxiety caused by a poor internet connection or slow computer, which also prevents them from having a comfortable space to study. Also, students are used to asking instructors questions and studying with their peers, and online learning prevents them from having these opportunities (Kuama   65). This article divides students into two groups: the students who succeed and those who struggle   Kuama   states in this article that successful students have a high level of self-regulation, know how to study effectively, and are aware of their responsibilities. They check their homework daily and use the internet to learn new studying strategies   in order to   study effectively. On the   other hand, the students that   do not succeed   in their studies do not learn any strategies to help them during their studies (69). But overall, both kinds of students agree that face-to-face learning is an opportunity to interact with each other, especially because the English language depends on conversations between students and their instructors and group work. Additionally, students will get more motivation from their peers (73). Moreover,   Kuama   discusses through the article that,   in order to   give all the students a quality online education, they   have to   have the opportunities to   learn about the online programs and apps (74).   Also,   students who have a low efficiency in   English   have   to   improve their English skills in order to   communicate   and participate with others (74).   

James Gee’s article “What is Literacy” attempts to describe literacy by describing   discourse, the effective way of using words to communicate with each other and write our own   thoughts (23). Gee defines literacy as being able to use a set of words for multiple purposes   and in numerous settings (23). Where these settings are defined as discourses, and they are   categorized into primary and secondary discourses and even these types of conversation can be   broken down. For example, a primary discourse is that way of speaking that you mostly acquire   from your family and the people around you at   birth. An example of some primary   discourses includes being in a certain country, playing with a friend, or speaking with family   members around us: these examples are described as languages a person acquires for free (22).   Secondary discourses are uses of   a language that people actively and primarily; it requires effort,   practice, and experiences, and a person does not grow up speaking in the dialect. Examples can   include the way we speak when working as a team in our workplace or if we want to engage in a   new community with a new group we have to learn their language and their styles in order to   deal with   them.  

Works Cited    

Ali, Wahab. “Online and remote learning in higher education institutes: A necessity in light of   COVID-19 pandemic.”   Higher Education Studies   10.3 (2020): 16-25.    

Gee, James Paul. “What is Literacy?”   Negotiating academic literacies: Teaching and learning   across languages and cultures   (1998): 51-59.    

Kuama,   Settha. “Is Online Learning Suitable for All English   Language   Students?.   “   PASAA:   Journal of Language Teaching and Learning in Thailand   52 (2016): 53-82.   Nambiar, Deepika. “The impact of online learning during COVID-19: students’ and teachers’   perspective.”   The International Journal of Indian Psychology   8.2 (2020): 783-793.  

Understanding Literacy in Our Lives by Anonymous English 102 Writer is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License , except where otherwise noted.

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Why Communication In Relationships Is So Important

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What Kind of Communicator Are You?

• Why Communication Matters
• Limitations
• Characteristics
• Communication Problems
• Improve Your Communication

When to Get Help

Communication is vital for healthy relationships . Being able to talk openly and honestly with the people in your life allows you to share, learn, respond, and forge lasting bonds. This is a vital part of any relationship, including those with friends and family, but it can be particularly important in romantic relationships. 

At a Glance

While all relationships are different and each one has its own ups and downs, being able to talk to your partner means that you'll be able to share your worries, show support for one another, and work together to handle conflict more effectively.

If the communication in your relationship is lacking, you can strengthen it by being present in your conversations, focusing on your relationship, and really listening to what your partner has to say.

Our fast and free communication styles quiz can help give you some insight into how you interact with others and what it could mean for your interpersonal relationships, both at work and at home.

Benefits of Communication in Relationships

According to Dr. John Gottman, a clinical psychologist and founder of the Gottman Institute, a couple's communication pattern can often predict how successful a relationship will be. Good communication can help enhance your relationship in a variety of ways:

Less Rumination

Communication in relationships can minimize rumination . Instead of stewing over negative feelings, good communication allows people to discuss their concerns and resolve them in a more positive, effective way.

Greater Intimacy

Good communication in relationships also fosters intimacy. Forming a close emotional connection with another person requires a mutual give-and-take when it comes to sharing things about yourself and listening to the other person.

This reciprocal self-disclosure means talking about your experiences, beliefs, values, opinions, and expectations. In order to do this, you both need to possess communication skills that foster this connection and allow it to grow and deepen with time. 

Less Conflict

Communication in relationships reduces and resolves conflict. Every relationship is bound to experience conflict from time to time.

When you are able to talk about your problems in an open and honest way, however, you can resolve arguments and disagreements more readily.

Rather than getting caught up in a cycle of misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and emotional strife, you can address your problems and take steps to improve your relationship .

Communication Doesn't Solve Everything

While the common assumption has long been that if you want to improve your relationship, you should start by improving your communication, some research has suggested that the answer might not be so simple. 

A study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family found that while there is certainly a connection between communication and relationship satisfaction, good communication alone doesn't definitively predict how happy you'll be in your relationships.

Other Factors Play a Role

Other factors—including how much interaction a couple has, the personality characteristics of each partner, and stress—all play a part in determining how satisfied people feel in their relationship.

Another study found that positive communication did not have a strong connection with relationship satisfaction over time. However, couples that reported less negative communication than usual and reported feeling more satisfied with their relationship than they usually did.

So while research suggests that communicating well isn't a guarantee for a happy relationship, there is plenty of research indicating that good communication skills enhance relationships and well-being in a number of ways.

Effective communication is one way to foster a positive, supportive relationship with your partner.

When you actively listen and respond to your partner (and they do the same for you), both of you are more likely to feel valued and cared for. 

For example, one study found that when people feel that their partner values them, they are more likely to sleep better. And ultimately, feeling more valued, positive, and happy in your relationships can have a beneficial impact on your overall well-being. 

Communication is just one part of a good relationship. Research suggests that people who are happy in their relationships are more likely to communicate well with one another. 

Signs of Great Communication in Relationships

So what do experts mean when they talk about "good communication?" Are you and your partner both on the same page or are there signs that might indicate a problem in how you relate to one another? 

First, it is important to think about what we mean by communication. On the surface, it involves the words that people use to convey information to one another.

But it can also involve other ways of transmitting information including tone of voice, body language , and other forms of nonverbal communication . In many cases, what you don’t say can mean just as much if not more than what you do say.

Some of the hallmarks of effective communication in relationships include:

• Active listening : Active listening involves being engaged in the conversation, listening attentively, and reflecting back on what people have said. It also involves asking for clarification when needed and avoiding making judgments. 
• Not personalizing issues : When communicating in relationships, people who are good at it avoid personalizing their partner's actions. Instead, they focus on the situation and how things can be resolved.
• Using "I feel" statements : I-statements can be helpful in interpersonal conflicts. Instead of saying, "You never clean up after yourself," try using an I-statement like, "I feel uncomfortable when there is clutter accumulating around the house."
• Kindness : Kindness is important because it makes people feel cared for and understood.
• Being present : When talking with your partner, it is important to be fully present in the moment . Getting distracted by outside sources–including electronic distractions such as your phone–can lead to a lack of communication and a poor connection.
• Showing acceptance : Healthy communication is about accepting and validating the other person , even if you might not agree with them. When you communicate well with your partner, you’re able to recognize that people have a right to feel their feelings even if those emotions and reactions are different from your own.

Communicating well in relationships involves actively listening, avoiding judgments, and practicing kindness instead of trying to win the argument.

Signs of Poor Communication in Relationships

Some signs that your relationship is being negatively affected by communication problems include:

• Assuming that you know what your partner thinks or feels
• Constantly criticizing one another
• Engaging in passive-aggressive behaviors
• Feeling like you can't really talk to your partner
• Getting defensive when your partner tries to talk to you
• Giving each other the silent treatment
• Having the same arguments over and over without reaching a resolution
• Refusing to compromise or listen to the other person's perspective
• Stonewalling in order to avoid problems or conversations

It is also important to learn to recognize some of the more subtle signs of poor communication. This can include avoiding arguments for the sake of keeping the peace.

If you never disagree, it means that one of you is hiding what you really feel or think just to avoid a fight. This deprives you both of experiencing authentic, open, and honest discussions.

Withholding issues can be another common communication problem in relationships. Instead of having tough conversations with your partner, you might avoid the issue and then end up dumping all of your anger, irritation, worries, or problems on the other people in your life. 

For example, when you don’t tell your partner you are upset, you might end up ranting to your friend about your frustrations. While this might provide you with an emotional outlet, it doesn’t do anything to resolve the problem. And it might result in passive-aggressive actions designed to "punish" your partner for not being able to read your mind.

Criticisms, defensiveness, silence, and feeling misunderstood are just a few signs of communication problems in a relationship. And a lack of arguing isn't necessarily a sign that you're communicating well. Instead, it may mean you are holding back in order to avoid conflict.

5 Ways to Improve Communication in Relationships

If you think that poor communication is having a negative impact on your relationship, there are strategies that can help you improve your connection.

Consider Your Attachment Style

Think about how your attachment style might affect your communication patterns. Attachment styles are your characteristic patterns of behavior in relationships. Your early attachment style, which emerges in childhood based on relationships with caregivers, can continue to affect how you behave and respond in adult romantic relationships.

If you have an insecure attachment style , you may be more likely to engage in communication patterns that can be seen as anxious or avoidant. Recognizing how your attachment style affects how you interact with your partner (and how your partner's style affects how they interact with you) can give you clues into what you might need to work on.

If you or your partner have an insecure attachment style, it can have an impact on how you communicate and interact with your partner. Knowing your style and being aware of how it may manifest as anxious or avoidant behavior can help you find ways to overcome less effective communication patterns.

Be Fully Present

In order to make sure that both of you are listening and understanding, minimize distractions and focus on being fully present when you are communicating. This might involve setting aside time each day to really focus on one another and talk about the events of the day and any concerns you may have. 

Limiting your device use at certain times of day, such as during meals or at bedtime, can be a great way to focus on your partner without having your attention pulled in different directions.

Use "I" Statements

Sometimes the way that you talk to each other can play a major role in communication problems. If you are both focusing on arguing facts without talking about feelings, arguments can quickly turn into debates over who is "right" or who gets the last word.

Examples of "I" Statements

"I" statements are focused on what you are feeling instead of your partner’s behavior. For example, instead of saying, "You are never on time," you might say "I get worried when you don’t arrive on time."

Using this type of statement can help conversations seem less accusatory or blaming and instead help you and your partner focus on the emotions behind some of the issues you are concerned about.

Avoid Negative Communication Patterns

When you are tempted to engage in behavior like ignoring your partner, using passive-aggressive actions, or yelling, consider how your actions will negatively affect your relationship.

It isn’t always easy to change these patterns, since many of them formed in childhood, but becoming more aware of them can help you start to replace these destructive behaviors with healthier, more positive habits.

Focus on Your Relationship

While good communication is important, research suggests that it is just one of many factors that impact the success, duration, and satisfaction in relationships. 

In fact, research seems to suggest that your satisfaction with your relationship might predict how well you and your partner communicate.

The more satisfied people are in their relationship, the more likely they are to openly talk about their thoughts, feelings, concerns, and problems with one another.

If you want to improve your communication, focusing on improving your relationship overall can play an important role.

There are many steps you can take to improve the communication in your relationship on your own, but there may be times that you feel like professional help might be needed. Couples therapy can be a great way to address communication problems that might be holding your relationship back. 

A therapist can help identify unhelpful communication patterns, develop new coping techniques, and practice talking to one another in more effective ways. They can also address any underlying resentments or other mental health issues that might be having a detrimental impact on your relationship.

Keep in Mind

Effective communication in a relationship allows people to tell other people what they need and to respond to what their partner needs. It allows people to feel understood, validated, and connected to another person. 

Always remember that the goal of communicating is to understand one another. It isn't about sweeping problems under the rug in order to prevent all conflict. Instead, focus on listening to understand and responding with empathy and care. If you and your partner are struggling with communication issues, consider talking to a therapist for advice and tips on how to cope.

Gottman J, Silver N. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work . New York, NY: Crown Publishers; 1999.

Lavner JA, Karney BR, Bradbury TN. Does couples’ communication predict marital satisfaction, or does marital satisfaction predict communication?: couple communication and marital satisfaction . Journal of Marriage and Family . 2016;78(3):680-694. doi:10.1111/jomf.12301

Johnson MD, Lavner JA, Mund M, et al. Within-couple associations between communication and relationship satisfaction over time .  Pers Soc Psychol Bull . 2022;48(4):534-549. doi:10.1177/01461672211016920

Selcuk E, Stanton SCE, Slatcher RB, Ong AD. Perceived partner responsiveness predicts better sleep quality through lower anxiety . Social Psychological and Personality Science . 2017;8(1):83-92. doi:10.1177/1948550616662128

Rogers SL, Howieson J, Neame C. I understand you feel that way, but I feel this way: the benefits of I-language and communicating perspective during conflict .  PeerJ . 2018;6:e4831. doi:10.7717/peerj.4831

By Kendra Cherry, MSEd Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

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Poor Communication May Be Slowing Down Your Team

• Gleb Tsipursky

Don’t leave room for misunderstandings.

Communication is not just a soft skill; it’s the linchpin of effective management. Yet, surveys reveal that employees are frustrated by unclear communication from their bosses. Some of these challenges certainly come from the more siloed communication environment created by remote and hybrid work. When managers are unclear in their communication, it can rob teams of their focus, diluting the overall quality of their output. It’s important for managers to realize that clear, consistent communication isn’t an option; it’s imperative. Here’s how to improve your communication.

• Set expectations upfront: Align with your team on the optimal use of various communication platforms. Being aligned as a team on which tool to use and when can significantly reduce communication friction.
• Consider creating a “clarity canvas.” When starting a new project together as a team, create a set of documents that succinctly outline project goals, individual responsibilities, process instructions, and key deadlines. This centralized hub affords seamless access to the same reservoir of information and can serve as a touchstone for everyone, averting confusion and minimizing back-and-forths.
• Make everythign accessible. Keep meticulous records of decisions made, meeting minutes, and project statuses in a centralized digital location accessible to all. Set standards around where documents are stored and how information is saved. If your organization has access to multiple cloud storage platforms, set rules around what gets uploaded and where.
• Establish office hours. This is time where you should be readily accessible via chat, phone, or video call to discuss any concerns or questions. Consider it a virtual open door, so that both in-office and remote employees have equal opportunity for face time. There’s no need for a specific agenda during this period, just focus on listening empathetically to your staff and addressing their needs.
• Do regular debriefs. After important company announcements, it can be valuable to set up debrief meetings with your team. Doing so will help you evaluate how well your people understand and accept the announcements, and will give you the opportunity to clarify and address any questions.

As more and more employees are working remotely or in hybrid work environments, the need for effective communication has become even stronger.

• Gleb Tsipursky was lauded as “Office Whisperer” and “Hybrid Expert” by The New York Times for helping leaders use hybrid work to improve retention and productivity while cutting costs. He serves as the CEO of the future-of-work consultancy Disaster Avoidance Experts. He wrote seven best-selling books, including Returning to the Office and Leading Hybrid and Remote Teams . His expertise comes from over 20 years of consulting for Fortune 500 companies from Aflac to Xerox, and over 15 years in academia as a behavioral scientist at UNC-Chapel Hill and Ohio State.  

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Developing Effective Communication Skills

A practicing oncologist likely uses just about every medium to communicate. They talk on the phone, send e-mail messages, converse one-on-one, participate in meetings, and give verbal and written orders. And they communicate with many audiences—patients and their families, referring physicians, and office staff.

But are you communicating effectively? How do you handle differing or challenging perspectives? Are you hesitant to disagree with others, especially those in authority? Do you find meetings are a waste of time? What impression does your communication style make on the members of your group?

Be an Active Listener

The starting place for effective communication is effective listening. “Active listening is listening with all of one's senses,” says physician communication expert Kenneth H. Cohn, MD, MBA, FACS. “It's listening with one's eyes as well as one's years. Only 8% of communication is related to content—the rest pertains to body language and tone of voice.” A practicing surgeon as well as a consultant, Cohn is the author of Better Communication for Better Care and Collaborate for Success!

Kenneth H. Cohn, MD, MBA, FACS

Cohn suggests creating a setting in which “listening can be accommodating.” For example, don't have a conversation when one person is standing and one person is sitting—make sure your eyes are at the same level. Eliminate physical barriers, such as a desk, between you and the other party. Acknowledge the speaker with your own body language: lean forward slightly and maintain eye contact. Avoid crossing your arms, which conveys a guarded stance and may suggest arrogance, dislike, or disagreement.

When someone is speaking, put a premium on “being present.” Take a deep breath (or drink some water to keep from speaking) and create a mental and emotional connection between you and the speaker. “This is not a time for multitasking, but to devote all the time to that one person,” Cohn advises. “If you are thinking about the next thing you have to do or, worse, the next thing you plan to say, you aren't actively listening.”

Suspending judgment is also part of active listening, according to Cohn. Encourage the speaker to fully express herself or himself—free of interruption, criticism, or direction. Show your interest by inviting the speaker to say more with expressions such as “Can you tell me more about it?” or “I'd like to hear about that.”

Finally, reflect back to the speaker your understanding of what has been said, and invite elaboration and clarification. Responding is an integral part of active listening and is especially important in situations involving conflict.

In active listening, through both words and nonverbal behavior, you convey these messages to the speaker:

• I understand your problem
• I know how you feel about it
• I am interested in what you are saying
• I am not judging you

Communication Is a Process

Effective communication requires paying attention to an entire process, not just the content of the message. When you are the messenger in this process, you should consider potential barriers at several stages that can keep your intended audience from receiving your message.

Be aware of how your own attitudes, emotions, knowledge, and credibility with the receiver might impede or alter whether and how your message is received. Be aware of your own body language when speaking. Consider the attitudes and knowledge of your intended audience as well. Diversity in age, sex, and ethnicity or race adds to the communication challenges, as do different training backgrounds.

Individuals from different cultures may assign very different meanings to facial expressions, use of space, and, especially, gestures. For example, in some Asian cultures women learn that it is disrespectful to look people in the eye and so they tend to have downcast eyes during a conversation. But in the United States, this body language could be misinterpreted as a lack of interest or a lack of attention.

Choose the right medium for the message you want to communicate. E-mail or phone call? Personal visit? Group discussion at a meeting? Notes in the margin or a typed review? Sometimes more than one medium is appropriate, such as when you give the patient written material to reinforce what you have said, or when you follow-up a telephone conversation with an e-mail beginning, “As we discussed.…”

For one-on-one communication, the setting and timing can be critical to communicating effectively. Is a chat in the corridor OK, or should this be a closed-door discussion? In your office or over lunch? Consider the mindset and milieu of the communication receiver. Defer giving complex information on someone's first day back from vacation or if you are aware of situations that may be anxiety-producing for that individual. Similarly, when calling someone on the phone, ask initially if this is a convenient time to talk. Offer to set a specific time to call back later.

Finally, organize content of the message you want to communicate. Make sure the information you are trying to convey is not too complex or lengthy for either the medium you are using or the audience. Use language appropriate for the audience. With patients, avoid medical jargon.

Be Attuned to Body Language—Your Own and Others

Many nonverbal cues such as laughing, gasping, shoulder shrugging, and scowling have meanings that are well understood in our culture. But the meaning of some of these other more subtle behaviors may not be as well known. 1

Hand movements. Our hands are our most expressive body parts, conveying even more than our faces. In a conversation, moving your hand behind your head usually reflects negative thoughts, feelings, and moods. It may be a sign of uncertainty, conflict, disagreement, frustration, anger, or dislike. Leaning back and clasping both hands behind the neck is often a sign of dominance.

Blank face. Though theoretically expressionless, a blank face sends a strong do not disturb message and is a subtle sign to others to keep a distance. Moreover, many faces have naturally down turned lips and creases of frown lines, making an otherwise blank face appear angry or disapproving.

Smiling. Although a smile may show happiness, it is subject to conscious control. In the United States and other societies, for example, we are taught to smile whether or not we actually feel happy, such as in giving a courteous greeting.

Tilting the head back. Lifting the chin and looking down the nose are used throughout the world as nonverbal signs of superiority, arrogance, and disdain.

Parting the lips. Suddenly parting one's lips signals mild surprise, uncertainty, or unvoiced disagreement.

Lip compression. Pressing the lips together into a thin line may signal the onset of anger, dislike, grief, sadness, or uncertainty.

Build a Team Culture

In oncology, as in most medical practices, much of the work is done by teams. Communication within a team calls for clarifying goals, structuring responsibilities, and giving and receiving credible feedback.

“Physicians in general are at a disadvantage because we haven't been trained in team communication,” says Cohn. He points out that when he was in business school, as much as 30% to 50% of a grade came from team projects. “But how much of my grade in medical school was from team projects? Zero.”

The lack of systematic education about how teams work is the biggest hurdle for physicians in building a team culture, according to Cohn. “We've learned team behaviors from our clinical mentors, who also had no formal team training. The styles we learn most in residency training are ‘command and control’ and the ‘pace setting approach,’ in which the leader doesn't specify what the expectations are, but just expects people to follow his or her example.”

Cohn says that both of those styles limit team cohesion. “Recognizing one's lack of training is the first step [in overcoming the hurdle], then understanding that one can learn these skills. Listening, showing sincere empathy, and being willing to experiment with new leadership styles, such as coaching and developing a shared vision for the future are key.”

Stated goals and team values. An effective team is one in which everyone works toward a common goal. This goal should be clearly articulated. In patient care, of course, the goal is the best patient outcomes. But a team approach is also highly effective in reaching other goals in a physician practice, such as decreasing patient waiting times, recruiting patients for a clinical trial, or developing a community education program. Every member of the team must be committed to the team's goal and objectives.

Effective teams have explicit and appropriate norms, such as when meetings will be held and keeping information confidential. Keep in mind that it takes time for teams to mature and develop a climate of trust and mutual respect. Groups do not progress from forming to performing without going through a storming phase in which team members negotiate assumptions and expectations for behavior. 2

Clear individual expectations. All the team members must be clear about what is expected of them individually and accept their responsibility for achieving the goal. They should also understand the roles of others. Some expectations may relate to their regular job duties; others may be one-time assignments specific to the team goal. Leadership of the team may rotate on the basis of expertise.

Members must have resources available to accomplish their tasks, including time, education and equipment needed to reach the goal. Openly discuss what is required to get the job done and find solutions together as a team.

Empowerment. Everyone on the team should be empowered to work toward the goal in his or her own job, in addition to contributing ideas for the team as a whole. Physicians' instinct and training have geared them to solve problems and give orders—so they often try to have all the answers. But in an effective team, each team member feels ownership in the outcome and has a sense of shared accountability. Cohn notes, “You get a tremendous amount of energy and buy-in when you ask ‘What do you think?’”

Team members must trust each other with important tasks. This requires accepting others for who they are, being creative, and taking prudent risks. Invite team members to indicate areas in which they would like to take initiative. Empower them by giving them the freedom to exercise their own discretion.

Feedback. Providing feedback on performance is a basic tenet of motivation. For some goals, daily or weekly results are wanted, while for others, such as a report of the number of medical records converted to a new system or the average patient waiting times, a monthly report might be appropriate. Decide together as a team what outcomes should be reported and how often.

Positive reinforcement. Team members should encourage one another. Take the lead and set an example by encouraging others when they are down and praising them when they do well. Thank individuals for their contributions, both one on one and with the team as a whole. Celebrate milestones as a way to sustain team communication and cohesion.

Effective E-mail

E-mail has numerous features that make it a wonderful tool for communicating with a team: it is immediate; it is automatically time-stamped; and filing and organizing are easy. (E-mail with patients is a more complex topic and is not addressed herein.)

The e-mail subject line is an especially useful feature that is typically underused. Make it your best friend. Use it like a newspaper headline, to draw the reader in and convey your main point or alert the reader to a deadline. In the examples given below, the person receiving an e-mail headed “HCC” is likely to scroll past it—planning to read it on the weekend. The more helpful subject line alerts the reader to be prepared to discuss the topic at an upcoming meeting:

•      Vague Subject Line: HCC
•      More Helpful Subject Line: HCC Plan to discuss the SHARP trial this Friday—Your comments due December 5 on attached new policies

As with all written communication, the most important aspect to consider is the audience. Consider the knowledge and biases of the person/people you are e-mailing. Where will the reader be when he or she receives your message? How important is your message to the reader?

The purpose of writing is to engage the reader. You want the reader to do something, to know something, or to feel something. Write it in a way that helps the reader. Put the most important information—the purpose of the email—in the first paragraph.

Except among friends who know you well, stay away from sarcasm in e-mail messages. The receiver does not have the benefit of your tone of voice and body language to help interpret your communication. When delivering comments that are even slightly critical, it's better to communicate in person or in a phone call than to do so in an e-mail. Something you wrote with good intentions and an open mind or even with humor can be interpreted as nitpicky, negative, and destructive, and can be forwarded to others.

Because we use e-mail for its speed, it's easy to get in the habit of dashing off a message and hitting the “send” button. We count on the automatic spell-check (and you should have it turned on as your default option) to catch your errors. But spelling typos are the least of the problems in communicating effectively.

Take the time to read through your message. Is it clear? Is it organized? Is it concise? See if there is anything that could be misinterpreted or raises unanswered questions. The very speed with which we dash off e-mail messages makes e-mail the place in which we are most likely to communicate poorly.

Finally, don't forget to supply appropriate contact information, including phone numbers or alternative e-mail addresses, for responses or questions.

Conflict is inevitable in times of rapid change. Effective communication helps one avoid conflict and minimize its adverse consequences when it does occur. The next issue of Strategies for Career Success will cover conflict management.

What Not to Do When Listening:

• Allow distractions
• Use clichéd phrases such as “I know exactly how you feel,” “It's not that bad,” or “You'll feel better tomorrow”
• Get pulled into responding emotionally
• Change the subject or move in a new direction
• Rehearse in your head what you plan to say next
• Give advice

Make Meetings Work for Your Team

A good meeting is one in which team goals are introduced or reinforced and solutions are generated. The first rule—meet in person only if it's the best format to accomplish what you want. You don't need a meeting just to report information. Here are tips for facilitating an effective meeting:

Don't meet just because it's scheduled. If there are no issues to discuss, don't hold the meeting just because it's Tuesday and that's when you always meet.

Use an agenda. Circulate a timed agenda beforehand and append useful background information. Participants should know what to expect. If it's a short meeting or quickly called, put the agenda on a flipchart or board before people arrive.

Structure input. Promote the team culture by making different individuals responsible for specific agenda items. Follow-up on previous task assignments as the first agenda item to hold group members accountable for the team's success.

Limit the meeting time. Use the timed agenda to stay on track. If the discussion goes off on a tangent, bring the group back to the objective of the topic at hand. If it becomes clear that a topic needs more time, delineate the issues and the involved parties and schedule a separate meeting.

Facilitate discussion. Be sure everyone's ideas are heard and that no one dominates the discussion. If two people seem to talk only to each other and not to the group as a whole, invite others to comment. If only two individuals need to pursue a topic, suggest that they continue to work on that topic outside the meeting.

Set ground rules up front. Keep meetings constructive, not a gripe session. Do not issue reprimands, and make it clear that the meeting is to be positive and intended for updates, analysis, problem solving, and decision making. Create an environment in which disagreement and offering alternative perspectives are acceptable. When individuals do offer opposing opinions, facilitate open discussion that focuses on issues and not personalities.

Circulate a meeting summary before the next meeting. Formal minutes are appropriate for some meetings. But in the very least, a brief summary of actions should be prepared. Include decisions reached and assignments made, with deadlines for follow-up at the next meeting.

Kenneth H. Cohn: Better Communication for Better Care: Mastering Physician-Administrator Collaboration. Chicago, IL, Health Administration Press, 2005, www.ache.org/pubs/redesign/productcatalog.cfm?pc=WWW1-2038

Kenneth H. Cohn: Collaborate for Success! Breakthrough Strategies for Engaging Physicians, Nurses, and Hospital Executives. Chicago, IL, Health Administration Press, 2006, www.ache.org/hap.cfm

Suzette Haden Elgin: Genderspeak: Men, Women, and the Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense. Hoboken, NJ, Wiley, 1993

Jon R. Katzenbach, Douglas K. Smith: The Wisdom of Teams: Creating the High Performance Organization. New York, NY, Harper Business, 1994

Sharon Lippincott: Meetings: Do's, Don'ts, and Donuts. Pittsburgh, PA, Lighthouse Point Press, 1994

Kenneth W. Thomas: Intrinsic Motivation at Work: Building Energy and Commitment. San Francisco, CA, Berrett-Koehler Publishers, 2000

More Strategies for Career Success!

Deciding About Practice Options—J Oncol Pract 2:187-190, 2006

The Interview: Make it Work for You—J Oncol Pract 2:252-254, 2006

Employment Contracts: What to Look for—J Oncol Pract 2:308-311, 2006

Principles and Tactics of Negotiation—J Oncol Pract 3:102-105, 2007

Professional Advisors: They're Worth It—J Oncol Pract 3:162-166, 2007

Building and Maintaining a Referral Base—J Oncol Pract 3:227-230, 2007

Malpractice Insurance: What You Need to Know—J Oncol Pract 3:274-277, 2007

Joining a Practice As a Shareholder—J Oncol Pract 3:41-44, 2007.