internet breaks relationship essay

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March 12, 2022 / Reading Time: ~ 11 minutes

How The Internet Is Changing Relationships

Jose David Rosas Alavez

Humans are inherently social beings, no man is an island as the saying goes and the way we interact with each other has changed greatly over time and with the advancement of technology and modes of production, we have gone from the only way to contact people being face to face interactions, to sending letters, to mass organized mail systems to, telephones and now with the invention of the internet in the 80s communication has changed again and due to the medium of communication, the way we form relationships and maintain them have changed as well and the question being is how the internet has changed relationships? what are the positives or negatives? with the Internet evolving relationships we have seen major changes in the field of dating with the introduction of online dating (E-dating), sexting, message services, dating apps and have created easier access to communicating and meeting new people and with this their arrises positives such as ease of access and negatives such as online harassment and grooming. After conducting a survey the respondents seem to mostly agree that the internet has made positive changes but have also experienced the negatives of online relationships as well. 

The History of Online Relationships

“Twenty years from now, the idea that someone looking for love won’t look for it online will be silly, akin to skipping the card catalog to instead wander the stacks because the right books are found only by accident.” This is a quote from Wired Magazine from 2002, doesn’t it seem odd that this quote seems to have held up so well? That almost twenty years later they seem to be mostly right, this quote which would have seemed ridiculous to a lot of people back then and surely to become as dated as the reference to the card catalog within it but the year is now 2022, and online dating services seem to be growing with reportedly 75 million active users monthly in 2021 on Tinder alone , Did Apollo hit Rufus Griscom with the gift of Prophecy? No probably not but in order to understand why this quote is so relevant we must have a cursory glance at the history of online dating.

Since before online dating there exist ways to meet others and gets dates that didn’t involve meeting people directly, in newspapers there existed such things called personals or personal ads which served as a way to find eligible partners by buying an ad and advertising themselves and explaining what they want out of a partner and how to contact them, usually males would seek female partners at least in the start but then turned into a safer way for gay people to meet discreetly back during the time that homosexuality was outlawed and even punishable by death. Personal Ads have existed since at least 1695 and have evolved since then from something that was looked at as shameful and deviant into something more socially acceptable and adopted broadly by the mid-1800s.  

Later on, after the invention of the internet but before the creation of the first dating website, people would use chatrooms such as America Online (AOL) or Craigslist bulletin boards and classifieds to look for companionship but that all changed after the creation of Match.com in 1995 which served as the first online dating website and from there we would see the creation of OkCupid, Badoo and other major dating sites until the creation of Grindr in 2009 which was the first dating app designed for phones which would use your geographical location using your GPS from your phone to show you eligible people on your phone , something that would become mainstream among other dating apps which would quickly overtake dating websites as the next evolution and that would be cemented when Tinder, released in 2012, caused a massive surge in application to dating apps with its swipe based matching system introduced in 2013 that would streamline the matchmaking process.

Meeting and maintaining relationships online has become easier with the invention of messaging apps such as Skype in 2003 that allowed people to message and video call online which add a whole new degree of intimacy to both online friendships and online romantic/sexual relationships and this would only grow as new messaging apps popped up such as what is one of the most popular instant messaging app Discord in 2015, originally marketed towards gamers this audience quickly expanded to include a wide variety of people and has become famous as well as infamous for being used as a tool to date people online otherwise called E-dating, E-dating on discord can be harmless and can bring people together but could also and has in some cases resulted in cases of grooming, grooming being the act of usually a sexual predator using manipulation to lure victims to abuse, such as luring children into sexual positions such as sending sexual messages or nudes also referred to as sexting.

Currently, it is reported that online dating apps such as Tinder and the like, have become the most popular way that American couples meet according to a study by Stanford Sociologist Micheal Rosenfeld and states that 39% of heterosexual couples meet online and that makes the quote by Wired writer Rufus Griscom even more impressive, maybe Apollo did send the gift after all, and with Americans becoming more and more online and meeting people online more because of things such as the global pandemic of Covid-19 and the gradual shift towards being more and more online  I want to figure out what effects the internet has on relationships either platonically or romantically and to find out how the internet has changed relationships. 

I have decided to gauge reactions and see what people think of the effects of the internet in their personal lives I have composed a multiple choice anonymous survey, using google forms, of 9 questions and have gotten responses from 10 different people around the 18 to 21 age groups, I made sure to let them know that the survey was optional and also of the contents within the survey such as warnings about Relationships, online dating, online grooming and such along with this message attached to the survey “Answer to what you feel comfortable with and it’s okay if you’ve never been in an online relationship either romantically or platonically, any answers are fine and useful and thank you for your participation in this survey.”  The questions asked in the survey are as follows:

• How do you communicate with your friends the most?
• Direct Messaging (Discord, Skype, etc)
• Social Media (Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Etc)
• Do you have more In person friendships or online friendships?
• Do you value your online friendships as much as your irl Friendships? (“IRL”standing for “In Real Life”)
• Do you think Social Media and the Internet have made dating harder or easier?
• Have you ever had a romantic or sexual relationship online?
• Have you ever participated in sexting?
• Do you think Long Distance Relationships are healthy?
• have you known anyone online who has experienced or witnessed grooming online (someone being groomed by someone on the internet)
• Do you think Social Media and the Internet have made maintaining and creating friendships harder or easier?

For Question #1 90% of people answered direct messaging services like Discord or Skype versus the 10% that said Social Media and the 0% that said real life, this could be due to a bunch of factors most likely a big one being the Covid-19 pandemic. Question #2 saw a 50/50 split among in-person and online as shown in Fig 1.  For question #3 we have 90% saying they value their online friendships equally as their face to face friendships versus the 10% that say they don’t. Question #4 we see more of a split with 50% saying the internet has made dating easier, 20% saying harder and 30% saying they see no difference see fig 2. Question #5 is 80% no while question #6 is 70% no. Question #7 70% of people answer yes and question #8 70% answer yes to having experience with online grooming. The final question people overwhelmingly say that the internet has made friendships easier by 70% while 20% say harder and 10% saying that the internet has not changed it, see fig 3.

Figure 1. Results of questions 1 and 2, Screenshot by Jose David Rosas Alavez

Figure 2. People seem to be in favor of how the internet has changed dating, Screenshot by Jose David Rosas Alavez

Figure 3. People overwhelmingly agree that friendships are easier with the internet, Screenshot by Jose David Rosas Alavez

The Positives

We are seeing from these results and in real life put into practice that people seem to have a generally positive view of technologies relation and evolution of relationships, with the internet people seem to agree for the most part that maintaining friendships and making them are easier than before, which is easy to see due to messaging services like Skype and Discord allowing people to join servers and create servers in order to talk to friends and in the case of Discord specifically,  join communities based around certain common shared interests like a specific video game, genre of music, celebrity and etc. These changes are seen as positive and the majority of people value these connections just as much as their face to face connections in their lives which is also a testament to the efficiency and evolution of how relationships are made on the internet, that we can develop personal attachment without physical interaction, usually through text, voice, and video. 

Dating is also being said to have increased in ease, with more people saying romantic and sexual relationships have been made easier through the internet and especially mobile dating apps like Tinder, Hinge, and etc, this is reflected in a study “we find that total matches increase by 21.2% per week for males and by 64% per week for females. This suggests that there are significant differences in engagement through viewing, messaging, and matching outcomes that are induced by adopting the mobile app” this is dramatically increasing people’s accessibility to the world of dating and making it easier for people who are lonely who can’t rely on being set up with someone at their job, or friend, the internet gives them the ability to match and create a relationship which is especially good during a period of staying inside like now with the covid pandemic making meeting new people increasingly rare. This is also helpful for people with problems socializing to potentially meet people and form relationships “people with lower self-esteem may also be more likely to use online dating sites as lower self-esteem individuals might view online dating sites as a safer place to look for and to try to attract a potential romantic partner.” this makes the internet a safer way for these people to make friendships and romantic relationships, due to the perceived threat of rejection being lower which is also mentioned in the same article “In addition, people more sensitive to rejection may feel more comfortable trying to meet potential romantic partners in an online environment because it might be easier to avoid potential rejection in online dating environments than it is in other more traditional dating environments.” all of these things are good and positive changes made to how we manage and form relationships but along with the positives, there are also unintended consequences to this ease of accessibility and ease of communication on the internet which reveal a darker issue.

The Negatives

It would be great if we managed to live in a world where no one abused of anybody’s trust and we could live without the threat of malicious action but unfortunately, we do not live in that world and for exactly that reason we have age restrictions on certain things children can’t handle and try to protect children on the internet to some extent but what where the issue arises is when often time these protections are not enough. The concept of sexting is not something that is an inherently negative thing, it’s something people do in relationships especially online relationships because for couples that have no ability to interact physically sometimes this is the only option while still maintaining that relationship and the needs of each participant in that relationship, this is something adults do and as recent studies have shown, it is something that adolescent youths have begun partaking in more and more and with this comes unforeseen consequences that could harm them, this can take shape in a multitude of ways, often we see people who send sexts have them shared around to other’s without their consent, this can be done for malicious reasons and is often classified as revenge porn and can lead to embarrassment for the sender and other consequences because someone else decided to abuse their trust, this can also result with people feeling pressured into doing something they don’t want “Respondents also noted that some girls might engage in sexting out of the fear of losing a boyfriend or not being able to start a romantic relationship with boys they like.” all of these are consequences that can occur between two people of the same age but where it gets even worse is when an adult abuses the trust of a minor and participates in grooming them, something that happens far too often, as the results show in the study I conducted, 70% of people who took the survey has seen experienced or witness an act of grooming happening ot someone they know. With the ease of access to finding new people and many websites lax rules on age limits and no real verifiable way to prove someone’s age, children can gain access to places like Discord to talk to friends and even when they do reach the age to be able to join Discord and not violate Discord Terms of Service, they can still fall victims to being preyed on by an older predator due to just how much easier it is to interact with children due to the internet as expressed in this article “the popularity of the internet with young people has made them accessible to offenders to a much greater extent than previously.” this ease of access is dangerous and as someone who knows people who have suffered through things of this manner personally, it is often not something that the victims ever get closure on, as the majority of these predators don’t get punished due to the nature of the act committed being online and harder to track, its heartbreaking and sad seeing things like this happen and it is something that has to change as we move forward. 

The internet has done incredible things for how we maintain and handle relationships, there has without a doubt been many positives to how the internet has helped create relationships that are incredibly meaningful but there are serious issues and these issues are not something that can or should be swept under the rug and there has to be proactive measures to teach children, especially how to maneuver the internet, the answer is not to blame the victim but if we can minimize the risk that these people take we can avoid letting grooming and abuse online grow, teach about these subjects as a part of sexual education so that we can educate the future generations and create an environment where victims can speak and heal. We must assure that the internet continues evolving our relationships in a way that is beneficial instead of isolating, dangerous, and empty. 

References 

Blackhart, G. C., Fitzpatrick, J., & Williamson, J. (2014). Dispositional factors predicting use of online dating sites and behaviors related to online dating. Computers in Human Behavior , 33 , 113–118. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2014.01.022

Fitzsimons, T. (2019, March 24). Grindr turns 10: How a decade with GPS ‘dating’ apps changed us all . NBCNews.com. Retrieved February 22, 2022, from https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/grindr-turns-10-how-decade-gps-dating-apps-changed-us-n986666

Griscom, R. (2002, November 1). Why are online personals so hot? Wired. Retrieved February 22, 2022, from https://www.wired.com/2002/11/why-are-online-personals-so-hot/

Iqbal, M. (2022, January 20). Tinder revenue and usage statistics (2022) . Business of Apps. Retrieved February 22, 2022, from https://www.businessofapps.com/data/tinder-statistics/

Jung, J. H., Bapna, R., Ramaprasad, J., & Umyarov, A. (2019). Love unshackled: Identifying the effect of mobile app adoption in online dating. MIS Quarterly , 43 (1), 47–72. https://doi.org/10.25300/misq/2019/14289

Lee, S. (2017, December 7). The history of online dating from 1695 to now . HuffPost. Retrieved February 22, 2022, from https://www.huffpost.com/entry/timeline-online-dating-fr_b_9228040

Madigan, S., Ly, A., Rash, C. L., Van Ouytsel, J., & Temple, J. R. (2018). Prevalence of multiple forms of sexting behavior among youth. JAMA Pediatrics , 172 (4), 327. https://doi.org/10.1001/jamapediatrics.2017.5314

Shashkevich, A. (2019, August 21). Meeting online has become the most popular way U.S. couples connect, Stanford sociologist finds . Stanford News. Retrieved February 22, 2022, from https://news.stanford.edu/2019/08/21/online-dating-popular-way-u-s-couples-meet/

Van Ouytsel, J., Van Gool, E., Walrave, M., Ponnet, K., & Peeters, E. (2016). Sexting: Adolescents’ perceptions of the applications used for, motives for, and consequences of sexting. Journal of Youth Studies , 1–25. https://doi.org/10.1080/13676261.2016.1241865

Whittle, H., Hamilton-Giachritsis, C., Beech, A., & Collings, G. (2012). A review of online grooming: Characteristics and concerns. Aggression and Violent Behavior , 18 (1), 62–70. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.avb.2012.09.003

Wood, M. (2015, February 4). Led by tinder, a surge in mobile dating apps . The New York Times. Retrieved February 22, 2022, from https://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/05/technology/personaltech/led-by-tinder-the-mobile-dating-game-surges.html 

And So It Was Written

Author: Jose David Rosas Alavez

Published: March 12, 2022

Word Count: 2896

Reading time: ~ 11 minutes

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Does the Internet Bring People Closer Together or Further Apart? The Impact of Internet Usage on Interpersonal Communications

1 Business School, Shandong University, Weihai 264209, China

Guangjie Ning

2 HSBC Business School, Peking University, Shenzhen 518055, China

Qianqian Liu

Associated data.

The data that support the findings of this study are available from the Chinese General Social Survey (CGSS, http://cgss.ruc.edu.cn/English/Home.htm (accessed on 25 September 2022). Restrictions apply to the availability of these data, which were used under license for this study. Data are also available from the authors with the permission of the CGSS.

The complementarity interference (CI) model suggests that the Internet may either inhibit or facilitate interpersonal communications. This paper empirically examines the impact of Internet usage on interpersonal interactions, using a micro dataset from China to answer whether the Internet brings people closer together or further apart. The empirical results demonstrate, first, that Internet usage significantly increases both the time and frequency of people’s communications with their family and friends, rather than causing them to feel more disconnected and isolated. Holding other factors constant, for each one-standard-deviation increase in Internet usage, weekly communications with family members increases by an average of 102.150 min, while there is an average increase of 54.838 min in interactions with friends. These findings as to its positive effects are robust when using other regression models and interpersonal contact measures, as well as the instrumental variable method. Second, Internet usage also contributes to decreased loneliness; it exerts this effect primarily by improving people’s interactions with their family members. However, communications with friends do not significantly mediate such impacts. Third, the positive role of Internet usage on communications is more prominent for people with more frequent online socialization and self-presentation, better online skills, younger age, higher educational level, and who are living in urban areas. In addition, the beneficial effects of Internet usage are larger for communications with family members in the case of migrants. Therefore, in the context of the rapid development of information technology, the network infrastructure should be improved to make better use of the Internet to facilitate interpersonal communications and promote people’s wellness.

1. Introduction

Whether Internet usage brings people closer together or further apart is an important but unanswered question. With the rapid development of information technology, the Internet has been widely used in various areas almost all over the world. According to Internet World Stats, compared with the year 2000, the number of global Internet users in 2022 has increased by 14.16 times. By 31 July 2022, there were 5.47 billion Internet users in the world out of the 7.93 billion global population, and the penetration rate has steadily risen to 68.98% [ 1 ]. The rapid taking up of the Internet has profoundly changed human society in multiple aspects. On the macro level, it has reduced transaction costs, promoted industrial upgrading [ 2 , 3 ], and driven economic development [ 4 , 5 ]. On the micro level, the Internet has tremendous impacts on people’s daily lives and has changed their lifestyles, habits, attitudes and preferences [ 6 , 7 , 8 ]. However, the impact of Internet usage on interpersonal communications is still unclear. The complementarity interference (CI) model suggests that the Internet may either inhibit or facilitate interpersonal interactions.

On the one hand, in terms of the interference aspects, there may be a crowding-out effect of Internet usage on interpersonal contacts. Using the Internet may divert people’s attention from communicating with family and friends to other activities, such as playing online games, surfing websites, watching online videos, and live streaming. This may lead people to ignore real-life communications [ 9 , 10 , 11 ]. In addition, excessive addiction to the Internet can also trigger people’s depression, anxiety, and emotional impulsivity, resulting in a poor psychological state and even social phobias [ 12 , 13 ]. This may also cause people to reduce their interpersonal interactions. Based on this finding, it has been hypothesized that the more time spent on the Internet, the fewer interpersonal communications there will be.

On the other hand, in terms of complementarity, the Internet may facilitate interpersonal communications by reducing communication costs and providing opportunities for teleconferencing. Before the popularization of modern information technologies, people could only communicate by meeting face to face. Later, the development of communication technologies, such as the telegraph and telephone, eliminated the geographical boundaries of interpersonal contacts and made remote communication a reality. However, traditional communication technologies can only transmit information via voice and text messages and have the drawback of high cost. The Internet has greatly reduced the cost of communications, shortened the distances between disparate groups, and has even made it possible for people to meet via video conferencing [ 14 ]. In addition, Internet technologies have brought a variety of emerging communication platforms, such as Facebook, WhatsApp, Zoom, and WeChat, helping people to communicate more conveniently at a much lower cost [ 15 , 16 , 17 ]. On the basis of this evolution, it is hypothesized that the more time people spend on the Internet, the more interpersonal communications there are.

Interpersonal communications are essential to building social networks, which is also a necessary channel to help people establish social trust and enhance their sense of belonging and happiness [ 18 , 19 , 20 ]. Therefore, in the context of the rapid development of Internet technology, it is of great importance to clarify the impact of the Internet on interpersonal communications. If Internet usage can facilitate interpersonal interactions at a lower cost and in a more convenient way, then we should make full use of this technology to promote communications. Conversely, if the Internet reduces interpersonal communications, then necessary measures should be taken to alleviate its negative effects on interpersonal interactions while utilizing the benefits of the Internet in other aspects. Therefore, this paper aims to empirically examine the impact of Internet usage on interpersonal communications, using the Chinese General Social Survey. The robustness and endogeneity of the results are also tested from multiple perspectives. On this basis, we further explore the impact of Internet usage on people’s feelings of loneliness and the mediating role of interpersonal communications. In addition, the heterogeneities of the Internet’s effects are systematically investigated.

Compared with the existing literature, the contributions of this paper are mainly reflected in two aspects. First, this paper enriches the research concerning the Internet’s impacts on people. Most of the existing literature examines the influence of the Internet from the points of view of working conditions, psychological states, emotions, health, preferences, and lifestyles [ 20 , 21 , 22 , 23 , 24 ], while little research has been conducted concerning its effect on interpersonal communications. Second, this paper deepens our understanding of the influencing factors of interpersonal interactions, from the new perspective of modern information technology. Existing studies in the field of social communications have mainly focused on the effects of demographic characteristics, social identities, culture, and so on [ 25 , 26 , 27 ], lacking any assessment of the impact of the Internet.

This paper aims to examine the impact of Internet usage on interpersonal communications, as well as to investigate the heterogeneities in its effect, to systematically answer whether the Internet brings people closer together or pushes them further apart. This study is carried out following the research logic of “literature review—theoretical framework—empirical tests—further discussion—heterogeneity analysis”. A systematic literature review is given in Section 2 . Based on the literature, a theoretical framework using the complementarity interference (CI) model is presented in Section 3 , wherein the hypotheses are proposed. To test the theory, the data, variables, and empirical results are presented in Section 4 and Section 5 . Section 6 further discusses the impact of Internet usage on loneliness and the mediating role of interpersonal communications, as well as the Internet’s effects in other respects. Section 7 explores the heterogeneities of the impact of Internet usage. Section 8 summarizes all the conclusions drawn in the above sections, Section 9 identifies the theoretical and practical implications, and Section 10 discusses the study’s limitations and further research directions.

2. Literature Review

2.1. the impact of internet usage on people’s lives.

With the advancement of information technology, the Internet has become more and more indispensable in people’s daily lives. The Internet has brought tremendous positive impacts in multiple aspects. For example, Internet-based telecommuting is becoming a convenient and increasingly popular mode of work around the world [ 28 ]. Moreover, studies have found that self-presentation on social media helps users to achieve higher psychological well-being [ 29 ]. Heterogeneity analysis demonstrates that the positive impact of self-presentation on social media on psychological well-being is more significant in those with higher self-esteem [ 30 ]. Through online comparisons, people are able to generate benign envy, which is helpful for inspiration [ 22 , 31 ].

However, it has also been found that the Internet has mixed and heterogeneous impacts on its users. For example, while for girls, daily Internet use was not associated with higher levels of depressive symptoms [ 32 ], for boys, a positive association between the two factors did exist [ 33 ]. Interestingly, a study based on a Chinese sample found a significantly positive association between Internet use and mental health [ 34 ]. Many studies have also identified jealousy as one of the main symptoms of poorer states of mental health resulting from Internet use [ 35 , 36 , 37 ]. In addition to psychological health, existing studies find a significant negative association between mobile Internet use and self-rated health [ 34 ]. Moreover, online games are one of the most significant applications of the Internet and their impacts are controversial. It is found that frequent exposure to violent online games tends to be associated with an increase in aggressive behavior, desensitization, and physiological arousal, while also showing a decrease in empathy [ 38 ]. However, other studies have found that the correlation between online games and aggressive behaviors is not significant [ 23 , 24 ]. In addition, practical games are widely used in multiple areas of education, healthcare, sustainability projects, training, and consultancy, but their effectiveness varies due to differences in the designs [ 39 , 40 , 41 , 42 , 43 ].

Furthermore, Internet usage has also led to the emergence of Internet addiction, a new clinical disorder [ 44 ]. The COVID-19 pandemic has further increased people’s Internet online usage and a rising prevalence of Internet addiction has been reported among people in various occupations [ 45 , 46 ]. Although Internet addiction has not been recognized by the World Health Organization (WHO) and the American Psychological Association (APA), existing studies have shown that it is a new type of serious mental disorder [ 47 ]. There are heterogeneities in the severity and prevalence of Internet addiction. Regionally, Internet addiction has a greater impact on Internet users in developed areas, such as in Europe and the United States [ 48 , 49 ]. Studies also found that those with greater neuroticism are more likely to become addicted to the Internet [ 50 , 51 ]. Heterogeneity also exists in terms of gender, age, and social class. For example, people with a higher social class are less likely to experience Internet addiction [ 49 , 52 ].

2.2. Factors Affecting Interpersonal Communications

Interpersonal communication is a complex social process and is closely related to people’s well-being. Evidence shows that those with a high level of communication skills have a better mental health status compared to their counterparts [ 53 , 54 ]. Other studies have found that higher interpersonal stress is associated with stronger symptoms of insomnia, which, in turn, is associated with poorer mental health status [ 55 , 56 ]. In addition to its important impact on the psychological well-being of individuals, interpersonal communication also plays an essential role in building strong family relationships [ 57 , 58 ]. The importance of interpersonal communication is also reflected in many other aspects, including improving learning ability, obtaining job opportunities, promoting career development, etc. [ 59 , 60 ].

Regarding the factors affecting interpersonal communications, studies have found that age, gender, culture, social background, working characteristics, geographical distance, and technology exert a level of influence [ 25 , 58 , 61 ], although there is disagreement about the exact impact of these factors. For example, ethnic background affects interpersonal communications to some extent, mainly because people with different backgrounds are more likely to experience cultural misunderstandings with each other [ 26 ]. It has already been mentioned above that interpersonal communication can influence mental health and physical activities. Likewise, the two factors also affect interpersonal interaction. A study using a sample of college students found that social anxiety had a negative impact on their interpersonal communication skills, while psychological resilience played a mediating role between them, and perceived social support from teachers and classmates further moderated their psychological resilience [ 62 ]. It was also found that physical activity can facilitate family communication among family members because it provides more opportunities for them to meet [ 27 , 63 ].

In general, existing studies demonstrate that interpersonal communications are of great importance in promoting people’s mental health and helping families to build resilience. At the same time, interpersonal communications are conducive to acquiring new knowledge and playing a better role in both the family and society. Moreover, demographic, work, human capital, and social characteristics are the main factors that influence interpersonal communication.

2.3. Possible Relationship between Internet Usage and Interpersonal Communication

As mentioned above, interpersonal communication plays an important role in people’s lives, work, and careers; nowadays, it can be achieved by face-to-face interactions as well as via the Internet. At the same time, the Internet has both pros and cons in many aspects. So how does the Internet impact interpersonal communications? Based on existing research, it is believed that frequent exposure to the Internet distracts users from their offline lives [ 64 ]. For example, the use of mobile Internet via smartphones distracts parents from spending time with their children and undermines the communication between parents and children [ 65 ]. Furthermore, another study shows that children’s Internet use is also associated with a decrease in their participation in family activities. When people are overly dependent on the Internet, online activities can replace offline social connections with their family members and friends [ 11 , 66 ]. Internet addiction has also been proven to lead to a reduction in people’s social and interpersonal skills [ 47 , 67 ], which may further reduce their communications with family and friends. Although the effect of Internet usage on interpersonal communications has not been directly studied, the aforementioned studies imply that time spent on the Internet may crowd out interpersonal interaction, to some extent.

However, other studies point to the possible positive effects of Internet usage on interpersonal communication. Thanks to the development of Internet technology, today, text messages and voice calls are no longer the main methods for people of all ages [ 15 , 16 ]. Social networking software and group chats have become popular communication platforms [ 27 , 68 ]. Many studies have found that the use of the Internet effectively brings much convenience to interpersonal connections for both the young and old cohorts [ 69 , 70 ], which in turn can benefit people’s well-being [ 71 ]. Indeed, compared with traditional communication methods, such as letters, telegraphs and phone calls, the Internet provides innovative means of communication, such as video meetings, in a more convenient and cost-saving way. For example, WhatsApp has been shown to facilitate intergenerational family interactions [ 17 ]. Facebook helps to maintain interpersonal relationships for those who have difficulty making social connections, especially for people with low self-esteem [ 72 ].

Overall, the Internet has changed people’s lives tremendously, although its effects on interpersonal communications have not been systematically tested. In this context, it can be hypothesized from the existing research that the Internet may crowd out interpersonal communications [ 47 , 64 , 65 , 66 , 67 ]. Nevertheless, many studies believe that the Internet reduces the cost of communication between people, offering more diverse and convenient ways to make contact [ 15 , 16 , 68 , 69 , 70 , 71 , 72 ]. Therefore, it can also be speculated that the Internet may shorten the distances between people, thereby promoting interpersonal communication. However, even with theoretical analysis and the existing literature, the impact of Internet usage on interpersonal interactions is still unclear. In view of this gap in the literature, we aim to systematically investigate how the Internet affects interpersonal communication.

3. Theoretical Framework

3.1. internet usage.

This paper aims to investigate the impact of Internet usage on interpersonal communication. For the explanatory variable, time spent on the Internet is the most direct and important indicator by which to measure Internet usage; it is very intuitive and is widely used [ 11 , 67 , 73 ]. In addition, it has been applied not only to characterize how people generally use the Internet in their daily life but also to measure possible excessive Internet use and Internet addiction [ 74 ].

3.2. Interpersonal Communications

Studies have shown that communications with family members and friends are most important in people’s daily interpersonal interactions [ 75 , 76 , 77 ]. In the benchmarking analysis, time spent on communications with family and friends is used to reflect interpersonal interactions. Meanwhile, considering that the frequency of interactions is also a very important indicator for interpersonal contact, this is used for further robustness analysis. Both kinds of indicators have been applied to measure the levels of interpersonal contact in existing research [ 78 , 79 , 80 , 81 ].

The complementarity interference (CI) model [ 53 , 82 ] of the Internet, as illustrated in Figure 1 , provides a theoretical framework for analyzing the relationship between Internet usage and interpersonal communication. Based on the following theoretical analysis, Internet usage may either facilitate or deteriorate interpersonal communication.

The theoretical framework of the study.

3.3. Interference Aspects of Internet Usage

3.3.1. distracting attention.

Studies have confirmed a significantly negative correlation between online and offline activities [ 83 ]. The Internet may divert people’s attention away from interpersonal interactions to online activities, including video games, online news, short videos, live streaming, etc., leading users to neglect communications with family and friends in real life [ 10 , 66 ]. This suggests that Internet usage may shift people’s attention; there may be a crowding-out effect of Internet usage on interpersonal communication. In addition, research has also found a negative correlation between Internet usage and time spent accompanying family members [ 11 ]. Although they do not specifically examine how the Internet affects family communications, the findings imply that time spent online may reduce interpersonal interactions inside the family, to some extent. In addition, in parent–child contact, the parent’s attention is easily distracted by online activities via smartphones, resulting in compromised parent-child bonds [ 65 ].

3.3.2. Reducing Social Skills

It has been shown that people tend to establish fewer offline social networks when they are overly dependent on the Internet [ 68 ]. This may be due to the fact that Internet usage reduces people’s social and interpersonal skills [ 67 ], thereby decreasing their communications and interactions. Studies have also found that among adolescents with a higher prevalence of Internet addiction, social skills are generally poorer [ 47 ]. Moreover, Internet addiction is proven to be closely related to attention deficit disorders, further causing social phobia [ 84 ]. Another study has identified that inadequate social skills and social fears decrease interpersonal communication [ 85 ]. Consequently, Internet use may hinder interpersonal interactions by reducing people’s social skills.

3.3.3. Increasing Negative Emotions

Internet usage may trigger depression, anxiety, and impulsiveness in some people, resulting in poor psychological states and negative emotions [ 10 ]. This may also further lead to a decrease in interpersonal interactions [ 11 , 73 ]. In addition, compared with face-to-face communications, Internet-based interpersonal interactions are disadvantaged in terms of emotional transmission and are, thus, less effective in enhancing effective communication [ 53 , 83 ]. Another source of negative feelings brought about by the Internet is peer pressure. Nowadays, people tend to share their daily lives via online platforms, inadvertently causing them to make comparisons with the lives of others. This makes people more pessimistic about their body image and standard of living, resulting in increased anxiety [ 86 ]. The nervousness caused by peer pressure on the Internet leads users to be more reluctant to communicate with others in the real world.

Based on the interference aspects of Internet usage, Hypothesis 1 can be proposed:

The more hours people use the Internet, the less time they spend on interpersonal communications.

3.4. Complementarity Aspects of Internet Usage

3.4.1. reducing the cost of interpersonal communications.

Before the popularization of modern information technologies, people could only communicate face-to-face. Later, the telegraph and telephone eliminated the geographical boundaries of interpersonal contact and made remote communication a reality [ 87 ]. However, traditional communication techniques face the problem of high costs. The Internet has greatly reduced both the time and money needed for instant communication, narrowed the distances between people, and made simultaneous communication affordable. For example, compared with telephone calls, Internet-based voice calls and online meetings cost much less in time and money for people to communicate [ 14 , 88 ].

3.4.2. Enriching Communication Channels and Modes

Traditional communication technologies mainly transmit voice and text, but it is difficult for them to simulate face-to-face interactions. The Internet has spawned a variety of emerging communication channels and modes, such as Facebook, WhatsApp, Zoom, and WeChat, which can help people to replicate face-to-face interactions more realistically online [ 15 , 16 ]. For example, during the COVID-19 epidemic, various network platforms facilitated remote working and learning [ 89 ]. Without the Internet, this would have been almost unachievable. In addition, Internet-based communications help to improve the quality of people’s long-distance interactions compared to traditional methods. For example, it has been established that WhatsApp, an instant online messaging tool, can promote intergenerational communication among family members and help them build better bridges of understanding with each other [ 17 ].

3.4.3. Building Wider Social Networks

The Internet helps people overcome communication barriers in real life, especially the fear of communicating with strangers, thereby establishing broader social networks [ 90 ]. Studies have found that Internet-based social networking platforms are effective in helping people share updates and, thus, build wider social connections across age, race, gender, geography, and social class boundaries [ 70 ]. Moreover, these enlarged social networks also create positive spillover effects in other aspects, improving people’s welfare. For example, people can use social media to communicate with others on health topics, which helps them become more health-conscious and intrinsically motivated to participate in physical exercises [ 69 ]. Therefore, online social connections contribute to improving people’s well-being, as well as promoting interpersonal communication and interactions [ 71 , 91 ].

Based on the complementarity aspects of Internet usage, Hypothesis 2 can be proposed:

The more hours people use the Internet, the more time they spend on interpersonal communications.

4. Data and Measures

4.1. data source.

The data used in this paper come from the Chinese General Social Survey (CGSS), one of the most important and nationally representative academic surveys in China. The CGSS aims to systematically and comprehensively investigate the social and economic situations of the Chinese people. CGSS is part of the world General Social Survey group and the sampling of CGSS is based on a multi-stage stratified design. The National Survey Research Center at the Renmin University of China (NSRC) has organized the Chinese Social Survey Network (CSSN), including 49 universities and provincial social science academies. Detailed information regarding CGSS can be accessed via http://cgss.ruc.edu.cn/English/Home.htm (accessed on 25 September 2022). The reason for using CGSS is mainly due to its three advantages. First, CGSS surveys people’s interpersonal communication and the factors influencing it in the extension module, which is a convenient way to construct the explained variables and control variables. Second, CGSS contains information on the respondents’ habits of Internet usage, which facilitates the construction of an explanatory variable for this research. Third, CGSS contains the ISCO-2008 (International Standard Classification of Occupations, 2008) codes of the respondents’ occupations, which helps us construct an instrumental variable, based on job characteristics, to deal with the endogeneity problem. Since the key explained and explanatory variables used in this paper are only available in the extension module of CGSS in 2017, the 2017-wave dataset is used for this research.

4.2. Measures

The main explained variable in this paper is the time spent on interpersonal communication by the respondents. Communication with family members and friends is most important in people’s daily interactions [ 75 , 76 ]; therefore, we constructed indicators for communications with family and friends, denoted as “family communication” and “friends communication”, respectively. The two variables come from the following questions in CGSS’s extension module, “How many hours do you spend on communicating with your family per week on average?” and “How many hours do you spend on communicating with your friends per week on average?”, respectively. In the robustness analysis, other indicators of interpersonal communications were also constructed. The explanatory variable of this paper is the time spent using the Internet, denoted as “Internet usage”. This variable is derived from the respondents’ answers to the question: “How many hours do you use the Internet per week on average?”.

Based on the relevant literature concerning the factors influencing interpersonal communications [ 61 , 62 ], in order to avoid the bias of omitted variables, this paper controls those factors related to interpersonal communications as comprehensively as possible in the following six aspects. (1) Basic demographic characteristics, including gender, age and the squared term of age. (2) Working characteristics, including personal income, whether the participant is working in the system and whether they have a pension and medical insurance. (3) Human capital characteristics, including educational level and health status. (4) Social characteristics, including whether the participant belongs to any ethnic minorities, have certain religious beliefs, or if they are a Communist Party of China (CPC) member. (5) Family characteristics include family size and the number of children. (6) Regional characteristics include provincial dummies. Detailed descriptions and statistics of the above variables are given in Table 1 .

Summary statistics.

Notes: The education level is classified from 1 to 13: 1—without any education, 2—kindergarten, 3—primary school, 4—junior high school, 5—vocational high school, 6—ordinary high school, 7—technical secondary school, 8—technical high school, 9—junior college (adult education), 10—junior college (regular education), 11—undergraduate (adult education), 12—undergraduate (regular education), 13—postgraduate and above. Health status is based on the self-rated health levels from 1 to 5: 1—very unhealthy, 2—relatively unhealthy, 3—medium, 4—relatively healthy, 5—very healthy.

5.1. Benchmark Results

To investigate the impact of Internet usage on interpersonal communications, this paper first constructs the following ordinary least squares (OLS) benchmark econometric model.

In model (1), I n t e r p e r s o n a l _ c o m m u n i c a t i o n i and I n t e r n e t _ u s a g e i represent the time spent on interpersonal communications and Internet usage, respectively, by the respondent, i . The time spent on communicating with family and friends is used to characterize I n t e r p e r s o n a l _ c o m m u n i c a t i o n i . x i ′ is the vector of the series of control variables described above. d p is the provincial fixed effect. This paper estimates the relationship between interpersonal communications and Internet usage with this model.

Table 2 shows the regression results, based on the above OLS model. Columns (1)–(3) demonstrate the results of the estimations concerning communicating with family members and columns (4)–(6) are estimated results concerning communicating with friends. It is clear that Internet usage is significantly and positively related to the time spent on communications with both family members and friends. Here, we conduct regression analysis by sequentially including the controls of different characteristics, with the aim of exploring whether the relationship between Internet usage and interpersonal communications is affected by other factors. Table 1 shows that, by gradually adding control variables from different aspects, the estimated coefficients of Internet use are stable at around 0.095 and 0.051 for the two explained variables, respectively. Moreover, all the estimates are significantly positive at the 1% level. This suggests that the more time people spend on the Internet, the more time they spend interacting with family and friends, supporting Hypothesis 2. It also means that the significant correlation between Internet usage and interpersonal interactions is not affected by other factors and is very robust. The above results prove that Internet usage does not lead to greater alienation among people. On the contrary, the Internet significantly enhances interpersonal communications.

Benchmark results.

Notes: ***, **, and * indicate significance at the levels of 1%, 5%, and 10%, respectively. The values in parentheses are standard errors robust to heteroskedasticity. ‘Yes’ means the corresponding variables are controlled in the regression, while ‘No’ means they are not controlled.

In addition, the benchmark estimates also show that the effect of the Internet on interpersonal interactions is very notable. Holding other factors constant, for each one-standard-deviation increase in Internet usage (17.921 h per week), the weekly communication with family members increases by an average of 102.150 min (17.921 × 0.095 × 60), while there is an average increase of 54.838 min in interactions with friends. This demonstrates that while Internet usage has significantly positive effects on communications with both family and friends, it plays a more prominent role in facilitating interactions among family members.

5.2. Robustness and Endogeneity Checks

In order to examine the robustness of the relationship between Internet usage and interpersonal communications, and to tackle potential endogeneity problems, this paper conducts a series of robustness and endogeneity checks.

5.2.1. Using the Poisson Model

Considering the fact that the dependent variables, which represent the time spent on communicating with family and friends, are discrete non-negative integers and fit the Poisson distribution, we use the Poisson model to conduct the robustness test. Table 3 shows that when using the Poisson model for communications with both family and friends, the estimated coefficients of Internet usage are all significantly positive at the 1% level. In addition, with the controlling characteristics as different aspects, the estimated coefficients of Internet usage fluctuate slightly but are generally very stable. This further confirms that our findings regarding Internet usage promoting people’s interpersonal communications do not rely on the selection of the OLS model.

Robustness checks using the Poisson model.

Notes: *** indicate significance at the levels of 1%, respectively. The values in parentheses are standard errors robust to heteroskedasticity. ‘Yes’ means the corresponding variables are controlled in the regression, while ‘No’ means they are not controlled.

5.2.2. Using Other Indicators of Interpersonal Communication

In benchmark regression, we use the time spent on communications with family and friends to characterize interpersonal interaction. However, there may be measurement errors in some people’s perceptions of time. Furthermore, communication time may not adequately characterize the frequency of interpersonal communications. Based on this theory, to test the robustness of the findings, this paper further uses the frequencies of communication with family and friends as dependent variables, denoted as “Family communication frequency” and “Friends communication frequency”. These are derived from the respondents’ responses to “How often do you keep in touch with your family, on average?” and “How often do you keep in touch with your friends, on average?”. Answers are classified based on an eight-level scale from 1 to 8, representing “never”, “rarely”, “several times a year”, “once a month”, “2–3 times a month”, “once a week”, “several times a week”, and “every day”, respectively. Since they are ordered and explained variables for which the disparities between different levels of the scale are not equivalent, ordered Probit (Oprobit) and Logit (Ologit) models, as well as the OLS model, are used for estimation. The regression results are shown in Table 4 . It is clear that when using these kinds of dependent variables to measure interpersonal communications, and no matter which model is applied, Internet usage has a significantly positive effect on the frequency of people’s interactions with family and friends, which further confirms the robustness of the findings.

Robustness checks, using other indicators of interpersonal communications.

5.2.3. Endogeneity Tests

There may be endogeneity problems in the benchmark estimates, therefore, the significant relationship between Internet usage and interpersonal communications may be a correlation rather than causality. The endogeneity problems may result from two aspects, comprising reverse causality and omitted variable bias. Regarding reverse causality, we suggest that people may use the Internet more frequently because they are more willing to communicate with family members and friends. For example, individuals who live alone, who frequently travel and migrate, may use the Internet because of the need to communicate remotely with their friends and family. With respect to omitted variable bias, although we have controlled as comprehensively as possible those elements that affect interpersonal communications, there may still be factors that are difficult to characterize. In order to examine the causal relationship between Internet usage and interpersonal interactions and to tackle potential endogeneity problems, the following instrumental variable models are applied for carrying out further checks.

A I i is the instrumental variable, which is the degree of artificial intelligence’s application in an individual, i ’s, work. Model (2) performs first-stage regression, using A I i to estimate I n t e r n e t _ u s a g e i . In model (3), second-stage regression is conducted to examine the effect of Internet usage on interpersonal communications, using the predicted values in the first-stage estimation. The A I i indicator comes from Mihaylov and Tijden [ 92 ]. Existing studies have shown that the higher the application of artificial intelligence in their work, the higher the requirements for people’s skills in using the Internet [ 93 ], and thus, the more likely they are to show increased Internet usage. Therefore, the instrumental variable satisfies the correlation requirement. In addition, since artificial intelligence is an exogenous technological change and is, thus, not related to micro individual characteristics, this variable satisfies the exogeneity condition. As shown in Table 5 , results of the instrumental variable method with the two-stage least square (2SLS) method robustly prove that Internet usage has significantly positive impacts on interactions with family members and friends. This means that the significant relationship between Internet usage and interpersonal communications is causal rather than being a simple correlation.

Endogeneity tests: impacts on communications using an instrumental variable.

Notes: *** and ** indicate significance at the levels of 1% and 5%, respectively. The values in parentheses are standard errors robust to heteroskedasticity. ‘Yes’ means the corresponding variables are controlled in the regression, while ‘No’ means they are not controlled.

5.2.4. Missing Data Imputation

There are missing data in this research, with a missing rate of (3740−3507)/3740 = 6.223%. Although it seems that the missing rate is not high, missing data may cause sample selection problems, leading to biased and inconsistent statistical results, because the information may be missing but not at random. Considering that the dataset is cross-sectional rather than longitudinal and when referring to Ibrahim and Molenberghs [ 94 ], Kropko et al. [ 95 ], and Baraldi and Enders [ 96 ], we further tested whether the findings of this paper could be affected by the missing data problem, applying the following widely accepted approach. Specifically, we replace the missing values with the mean of the remaining values. Results using this approach are shown in Table 6 and it is clear that they are consistent with the benchmark estimations in this paper.

Replacing the missing values with the mean of the remaining values (OLS model).

6. Further Discussions

6.1. effects of internet usage on loneliness.

It has been confirmed in the sections above that Internet usage facilitates communications with family and friends. Furthermore, studies have shown that interpersonal communications are beneficial to increasing social support and reducing people’s loneliness [ 97 , 98 , 99 ]. Therefore, we are interested in whether Internet usage helps to reduce loneliness by increasing people’s interpersonal contacts. To test this hypothesis, we use an indicator to characterize loneliness, denoted as “Lonely”. It is taken from respondents’ answers to the question “I feel lonely”, which is based on the Likert scale from 1–5, representing “never”, “seldom”, “sometimes”, “often”, and “frequently”. The larger the values of the two variables, the higher the level of loneliness.

The first columns in Table 7 demonstrate the effect of Internet usage on loneliness, wherein the estimated coefficients of Internet usage are all significantly negative. This indicates that Internet usage significantly reduces loneliness. Meanwhile, columns (2) and (4) in Table 7 are the regression results of the impacts of Internet usage on communication with family members and friends, which are consistent with those in Table 3 . Columns (3) and (5) present the results for when the indicators of family communication and friends communication are further included in regressions. The estimated results in column (3) of Table 7 show that communication with friends does not significantly affect people’s loneliness. However, in column (5), the estimates of family communication are significantly negative at the 1% level, implying that interactions with family help to decrease loneliness. At the same time, after the mediating variables, interpersonal communications are included in the regression, where the estimated coefficients of Internet usage remain significantly negative. Additionally, in column (5) of Table 7 , the absolute values of the Internet usage estimates decrease, further proving that communication with family members plays a mediating role between using the Internet and loneliness. This implies that Internet usage reduces the feeling of loneliness by facilitating communication among family members. Family members are particularly important for Chinese people and the Chinese culture; therefore, relationships among family members have a more prominent impact on personal feelings [ 100 ]. Thus, compared with communication with friends, contacts with family members mediate the impact of the Internet in reducing loneliness more significantly.

Further impacts on loneliness.

6.2. Effects of Internet Usage in the Other Aspects

The above analysis shows the positive impact of the Internet on interpersonal communications, but it is not correct to assume that this usage has only a positive dimension. Further analysis using CGSS data, as shown in column (1) of Table 8 , demonstrates that the more time people spend online, the easier it is to get addicted to the Internet, resulting in spending a longer time online than was planned. In addition, people who frequently use the Internet are more likely to feel anxious if they do not go online for a while (column (2) in Table 8 ). This is consistent with the existing studies, reporting that people tend to have difficulty controlling their time, and it is easier for them to become addicted to the Internet and the online world [ 45 , 46 , 47 , 48 ]. Furthermore, we find that going online reduces the amount of time people spend outdoors (column (3) in Table 8 ) and leads to more family complaints that they spend too much time online (column (4) in Table 8 ). Although we cannot directly verify the effect of Internet usage on face-to-face interpersonal communication, due to data availability, this is an indirect way to test whether Internet use reduces people’s face-to-face contact with the outside world and results in increased complaints from family members. Moreover, in terms of physical health, it was also found that more Internet usage also causes people to have worse eyesight (column (5) in Table 8 ), as well as neck and shoulder pain (column (6) in Table 8 ). The above analysis is based on six Likert 5-point scale variables from the responses to the question, “How do the following descriptions fit your situation?”: “I often spend more time online than I planned”, “If I don’t go online for a while, I will be anxious and restless”, “I spend less time outdoors because of using the Internet”, “My family complains that I spend too much time online”, “My eyesight has become worse because of using the Internet”, “I have neck and shoulder pain because of using the Internet”. Their responses are: “1—very untrue of me”, “2—untrue of me”, “3—neutral”, “4—true of me”, and “5—very true of me”.

Other effects of internet usage (overlong usage and anxiety).

7. Heterogeneity Analysis

This paper further examines the heterogeneities of the impact of Internet usage on communications in different subgroups. First, in terms of the purposes of Internet usage, it is naturally hypothesized that if people use the Internet mainly for working or entertainment, rather than for interpersonal contact, then Internet usage should have no significant effect on their communications with family members and friends. This hypothesis is tested as follows. Specifically, this research divides the sample into subgroups, with different degrees of online social interactions and different preferences for online self-presentation, based on whether respondents frequently use social networking sites (including email, QQ, WeChat, Skype, etc.) to communicate with others, and whether they often post their updates on the social platforms (including WeChat, Moments, Qzone, Weibo, etc.). The regression results of Table 9 show that the impacts of Internet usage on communication with family and friends are only significant among those who often use the Internet to socialize, confirming the above hypothesis. In addition, posting updates regarding life and work via Internet social platforms also brings more online contacts. Table 10 shows that for individuals with a greater online presence, the positive effect of Internet usage on interpersonal communications is more pronounced. This means that for people who are more socially connected to the Internet, online activities significantly promote their interpersonal contacts. The heterogeneity results in this aspect also demonstrate that online social contact facilitates communications with family and friends and further confirm the robustness of the findings of this paper.

Heterogeneity analysis, in terms of online contacts.

Heterogeneity analysis in terms of online posts.

Furthermore, considering that communications via the Internet require certain online skills, it is naturally hypothesized that for individuals with better Internet skills, Internet usage should be more conducive to improving their interpersonal communication. This paper conducts a heterogeneity test for this hypothesis. According to whether the respondents are able to communicate with others proficiently online (the corresponding question in the CGSS questionnaire is: “Do you know how to express your thoughts and proficiently communicate with others online?”), the following subsample analysis is performed. The estimated results in columns (1) and (2) of Table 11 show that in terms of communications with family members, the positive effects of Internet usage are greater and are only statistically significant for those with more online skills. Columns (3) and (4) of Table 11 demonstrate that in terms of communications with friends, the role of Internet usage is significant for the two subgroups, but the estimated coefficient is larger for individuals skilled in online communications. This confirms that the impact of Internet usage on interpersonal contacts is more pronounced for people with better online skills.

Heterogeneity analysis, in terms of Internet skills.

Notes: *** and * indicate significance at the levels of 1% and 10%, respectively. The values in parentheses are standard errors robust to heteroskedasticity. ‘Yes’ means the corresponding variables are controlled in the regression, while ‘No’ means they are not controlled.

Moreover, it has been shown in the existing literature that there are disparities in Internet usage and interpersonal communication among individuals of different ages and educational backgrounds [ 34 , 47 , 61 ]. Therefore, we further examine the heterogeneities of the impacts of Internet usage in the different subgroups, with different demographic characteristics. Table 12 shows that the impacts of Internet usage on communications with family and friends are significantly positive for both younger and older respondents. However, their effect is greater on the younger group under the age of 35, which may be due to the fact that young people are more inclined to use new online applications and are more skilled in Internet use. Therefore, the positive effect of Internet usage is more prominent in the younger cohort. The mean time of Internet usage for young individuals under 35 in CGSS is 23.59, which is much greater than that of their older counterparts, which is 7.56.

Heterogeneity analysis, in terms of age.

The results of the heterogeneity analysis in terms of education level are shown in Table 13 . It is demonstrated that regardless of whether the respondents have a bachelor’s degree or above, the positive effect of Internet usage on interpersonal communications is significant. However, the Internet’s impact is more pronounced for those with higher educational levels. This may be due to the fact that the more educated groups have greater opportunities to learn and master the skills of using the Internet. In the CGSS sample, the average time of Internet usage among people with higher educational levels is much higher than the lower educated respondents (25.03 > 9.70).

Heterogeneity analysis, in terms of education level.

In addition, in terms of regional heterogeneity, it is clear from Table 14 that the impact of Internet usage on communications with family and friends is more prominent for urban residents. Compared with their rural counterparts, urban residents are more familiar with the Internet in their work and daily life, due to faster technological development and better network infrastructure. Therefore, the descriptive statistics for the two subsamples show that the mean hours of Internet usage for residents in rural and urban areas are 16.29 and 8.64, respectively.

Heterogeneity analysis in terms of region.

In addition, the Internet can help people to break geographical restrictions and realize remote communication, consequently shortening the distances between each other [ 19 ]. Therefore, it is natural to hypothesize that the role of Internet usage in facilitating communication may be more prominent for migrants. The regression results of Table 15 show that Internet usage has significant effects on promoting interpersonal communications, for both migrants and non-migrants. In particular, columns (1) and (2) show that in terms of family communication, the impact of Internet usage on migrants is more prominent than on non-migrants. However, columns (3) and (4) do not show a similar pattern in terms of communicating with friends. This is logical, since blood relationships among family members do not change due to migration, while friends can be found wherever you live. Migration leads to people moving further away from their families, geographically; consequently, the role of Internet usage in enhancing communications with family members is more prominent for migrants.

Heterogeneity analysis in terms of migration.

8. Conclusions

This paper empirically examines the impact of Internet usage on interpersonal communications with data from the Chinese General Social Survey to answer whether the Internet brings people closer together or further apart. The empirical results demonstrate that first, Internet usage helps to significantly increase the time and frequency of communications with family and friends, rather than causing people to feel more disconnected and isolated. This positive effect is robust when using various regression models and interpersonal contact measures, as well as the instrumental variable method. Specifically, the positive effects of Internet usage in promoting people’s interpersonal communications do not rely on the selection of regression models and are robustly significant regarding both the time that people spend on interactions, as well as the frequency of daily contacts. Furthermore, the relationship between Internet usage and interpersonal communications is proven to be causal rather than being a simple correlation, using the instrumental variable approach.

Second, Internet usage contributes to decreased loneliness, and it exerts this effect primarily by improving people’s interactions with their family members. However, communications with friends do not significantly mediate such impacts. This implies that the Internet reduces the feeling of loneliness by facilitating communication among family members, who are much more important in the Chinese culture, and therefore relationships among family members have a more important impact on personal feelings.

Third, the positive role of Internet usage on communications is more prominent for people with more frequent online socialization and self-presentation, higher online skills, younger age, higher educational levels and living in urban areas. In addition, the beneficial effects of Internet usage are larger on communications with family members for migrants. The reason may be that the blood relationships among family members do not change due to migration, while friends can be found anywhere.

9. Theoretical and Practical Implications

9.1. theoretical implications.

This paper clarifies the net effect of Internet usage on interpersonal communications. Research has shown that Internet technology has tremendously enriched communication channels and modes [ 14 , 15 , 16 , 17 , 87 , 89 ]. Moreover, compared with traditional communication methods, such as phone calls and text messages, the Internet helps people to establish a much wider social network and achieve effective remote communication at a lower cost, as well as with greater efficiency [ 69 , 70 , 90 , 101 ]. Nevertheless, other studies reveal that Internet usage may distract people’s attention [ 10 , 11 , 65 , 66 , 83 ], reduce their social skills [ 47 , 67 , 68 , 84 , 85 ], and may even increase negative emotions [ 10 , 11 , 53 , 73 , 86 ]. The impact of Internet usage in this aspect would hinder interpersonal communications. No direct evidence is provided on how the Internet influences interpersonal communications. Therefore, according to theoretical analyses based on the existing literature, the net effect of Internet usage on interpersonal contacts is still unclear because of the coexistence of the complementarity and interference aspects. This research contributes to the literature by clarifying that the net effect of Internet usage on interpersonal communications is positive. The more that people use the Internet, the more they can interact with their family and friends. This positive effect is confirmed via various endogeneity and robustness checks. This paper shows that although the Internet may have both pros and cons, its overall impact is positive regarding interpersonal communication.

In addition, this paper further verifies the role of the Internet in reducing people’s loneliness, which is an important factor affecting well-being. Loneliness not only leads to depression but also reduces people’s life satisfaction and overall well-being [ 102 , 103 ]. Interpersonal interaction is an important element impacting loneliness [ 104 ]. Since Internet usage promotes communication, a natural question arises regarding whether it helps to decrease loneliness through this mechanism. If this speculation holds true, the robustness of the conclusions in this paper would be confirmed further. The existing research demonstrates that the Internet has enriched interpersonal communication channels [ 105 ]. Moreover, other studies reveal that interactions can help reduce loneliness, improve people’s well-being, and decrease depression [ 89 , 91 , 106 ]. In this paper, we present our findings that Internet usage lowers loneliness by promoting people’s communications with family and friends. Therefore, this study also contributes to the literature by elucidating the mechanisms underlying the well-being and emotional benefits of Internet use [ 107 ].

Furthermore, compared with previous studies supporting the positive effects of Internet usage [ 14 , 15 , 16 , 17 , 87 , 89 ], we also find heterogeneities in its impact from multiple perspectives. It is clear that not everyone gains equally from Internet use. The positive role of the Internet on interpersonal communication is more prominent for people with more frequent online socialization and wider self-presentation, better online skills, a younger age, higher educational levels, and who are living in urban areas. Some subgroups benefit more from Internet usage, while those who have been left behind in the digital age gain less. Heterogeneity analysis enriches the literature on the impact of the Internet, helping us to better identify vulnerable groups in the Internet era and create effective public policies accordingly.

9.2. Practical Implications

With the rapid progress of online technology, traditional face-to-face communication is gradually shifting toward social networking via the Internet as people are becoming immersed in the digital age. The Internet not only drives economic development but also helps people to interact with each other at a lower cost and in a more convenient way. The policy implications of this paper include the following recommendations.

First, the network infrastructure should be improved and updated to make better use of the Internet, to facilitate interpersonal communication among people. In the fast-changing world of information, the Internet has provided people with more and more convenient communication channels. We should continue to make better use of more advanced Internet technologies and improve the quality of the network, in order to enhance people’s online experience. Emerging technologies, such as 5G, should be applied to help people obtain more convenient and cheaper access to the Internet to improve their interpersonal communication and enhance social welfare.

Second, this paper reports that the Internet promotes interpersonal contact, thereby weakening people’s sense of loneliness. Therefore, establishing high-quality online communities via social networks is needed to help people enhance their well-being through further interactions. For those who suffer from loneliness, providing them with better access to the Internet may be an effective way to enhance their welfare. From the perspective of mental health, loneliness is related to an increased risk of mental disorders, such as depression, anxiety, and even dementia. Therefore, it is worth recommending that sufferers use the Internet to enhance their communications with others. For people with communication difficulties, online interactions can help them overcome their fear and help them to get in touch with others, thus establishing better social networks [ 90 ].

Third, policymakers should pay more attention to vulnerable subgroups in the Internet age, including older people and those with poorer online skills, those who are less well-educated, and those living in rural areas. These groups gain fewer benefits from Internet usage. Therefore, it is important to help them master the necessary online skills and provide them with more convenient and less expensive access to the Internet. For example, the network coverage should be extended to more remote and rural areas and the Internet connectivity there needs to be improved so that as many people as possible have equal access to the Internet. In addition, with the rapid development of Internet technology, individuals with lower education levels and older age may not be able to update their Internet skills. This may mean that they are unable to gain the benefits of Internet usage in terms of interpersonal communication. Therefore, in the context of the rapid application of emerging online technologies, enhancing the Internet skills of these vulnerable subgroups should be emphasized.

10. Limitations

First, since CGSS data is based on subjective answers, both the explanatory and explained variables in this paper are subjective indicators and there may, thus, be measurement errors caused by subjectivity. Although different variables are used as dependent variables in the robustness checks, confirming the positive effect of Internet usage on interpersonal interactions, these measures are also subjective. Therefore, we look forward to further testing the relationship between Internet usage and interpersonal contacts based on objective indicators in the future.

Second, as CGSS does not provide detailed information concerning the amount of time that people spend on the Internet for various purposes, we are unable to examine the effects of different types of online activities on interpersonal communications. In this regard, if people use the Internet mainly for working or for entertainment, rather than for interpersonal contacts, then online activities may well have a different effect on their communications with family members and friends. In the heterogeneity analysis, this research divided the sample into subgroups with different degrees of online social interactions and different preferences for online self-presentation. The results show that the impacts of Internet usage on communication with family and friends are only significant among those who habitually use the Internet to socialize and post updates. This indirectly examines the impact of different types of Internet usage on communications. We look forward to further investigating this issue in the future, on the basis of more detailed online data.

Third, this paper examines the impact of Internet usage on interpersonal communications in general. However, it is still not clear how Internet usage affects people’s face-to-face interactions. Due to data limitations, we are unable to directly test the quality of offline personal relationships, for example, changes in conversational topics, the willingness to broach topics discussed on the Internet, and the inclination to reveal true thoughts in a face-to-face relationship. The effects of Internet use on the quality of offline communications will be a very valuable research direction in the future.

Funding Statement

This research was funded by the Humanities and Social Science Research Project of the Ministry of Education of China (grant number 19YJC790055); the Project of the Natural Science Foundation of China (grant number 71973081); the Project of the Natural Science Foundation of Shandong Province, China (grant number ZR2020QG038); the Project of the Social Science Foundation of Shandong Province, China (grant number 19DJJJ08), and the Project of Teaching Reform of Shandong University (grant number Y2022007).

Author Contributions

C.L. contributed to the conception and design of the study and performed the statistical analysis. Y.X. generated the tables and figures, respectively, based on C.L.’s analysis. C.L. wrote the first draft of the manuscript. G.N., K.G. and Q.L. worked on revisions of the manuscript. All authors have read and agreed to the published version of the manuscript.

Institutional Review Board Statement

Not applicable.

Informed Consent Statement

Data availability statement, conflicts of interest.

The authors declare that the research was conducted in the absence of any commercial or financial relationships that could be construed as a potential conflict of interest.

Publisher’s Note: MDPI stays neutral with regard to jurisdictional claims in published maps and institutional affiliations.

The Internet Made Romantic Betrayal Even More Devastating

T he viral series “Who TF Did I Marry?” set the internet on fire recently when TikTok user Tareasa “Reesa Teesa” Johnson revealed what happened when she married a man who turned out to be nothing like what he presented himself to be. The 50-part series details the lies her ex-husband, who she calls “Legion,” told her over the course of their year and a half pandemic relationship.

Johnson and Legion met online, and she recalled matching with him on Facebook Dating and Hinge. Each of his profiles had a different name, which was perhaps the very first lie in their relationship. What Johnson shares is at times staggering, but she was able to confirm that not only was she duped, she was also one of a string of Legion’s victims. And with so many ways to create an entirely fabricated persona online and perpetuate the lie throughout a relationship, it’s clear we’ve entered a new era of romantic betrayal with even higher emotional stakes.

Read More: Reesa Teesa Is a Born Storyteller

Online dating has long been a place of cautionary tales when it comes to romantic betrayal and scams. There are so many personal stories and documentaries sharing how people gave false information on dating sites to lure in unsuspecting, hopeful targets. I’ve worked with clients who have experienced scamming and fraud through dating apps, and it's shocking to hear what they went through. These experiences have unfortunately become a new normal, with dating apps scrambling to identify and remove fake accounts, improve account blocking features, and add user verification procedures. But perhaps more pressing, these types of elaborate scams can have long-lasting effects on not just someone’s financial wellness, but also their mental health.

Anyone who has suffered romantic betrayal knows how painful and life-altering it can be. In the aftermath of their love saga, Johnson reflected on the “United Nations of red flags” Legion showed along the way. She blames herself for not paying closer attention, but she’s not alone. We’re all vulnerable when we start getting to know someone. Many people ignore or minimize questionable behaviors in the beginning of relationships that may come to haunt them later on. People are more likely to overlook annoying habits, ignore story inconsistencies, or not ask enough questions to maintain positive perceptions of prospective partners. What makes this new type of romantic betrayal so devastating is that after opening yourself up on dating apps, when you finally meet someone you think you can trust with your heart (who doesn’t ghost you or seem to care about superficial things), your world is upended by their deception—which makes you question both your relationships—and yourself.

Romantic betrayal has grown so much since online communication became the norm in dating, and everything from online affairs to romantic scams have been on the rise. Research on the psychological effects of certain types of digital romantic scams show that the effects of this type of betrayal range from embarrassment and shame to stress and suicidal ideation. Johnson has admitted that she experienced severe Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) because of the systematic and persistent lies that Legion told. And the intensity and consistency of those lies was aided by Legion’s use of technology.

It would have been hard to obscure the fact that Legion was never really talking to his brother every morning, had they only had a landline, for instance. It would have also been difficult to convince Johnson of his alleged financial wealth without falsified bank documents and images stolen from the internet. And it would be near impossible for him to engage in multiple illicit affairs with other women at the same time without his smartphone allowing him to spin his lies over multiple dating sites. Taken together, all of this adds up to betrayal on a scale unparalleled in the past. It would make sense that the emotional impact of this on victims would be larger as well, leaving people unable to trust online dating or people in general. 

One piece of advice Johnson offers to hopeful daters is “trust, but verify.” That means going into dating with an open mind and heart, while not letting things slide. If you’re dating someone who seems too good to be true, it may be hard to come down to earth and think that they might not be as good as they present themselves to be. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, do a reverse Google image search, or some social media sleuthing to help verify someone. It’s worth it to do some interrogation now rather than getting into a relationship with someone who doesn’t have your best interests in mind.

In this age of digital dating, there are so many ways to mislead someone, which means there's an increased risk of running into people who are taking advantage of technologies that were meant to connect us. It’s important that the technologies we use catch up and build more secure environments for people to find love. But until they do, it’s good to remember that this doesn’t mean you can’t trust anyone. It means that daters have to be more realistic when assessing their matches and more proactive in making sure that the person they’re falling for is real.

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• Teens, Technology and Romantic Relationships
• Chapter 5: After the Relationship: Technology and Breakups

Table of Contents

• Introduction
• Chapter 1: Basics of Teen Romantic Relationships
• Chapter 2: How Teens Meet, Flirt With and Ask Out Potential Romantic Partners
• Chapter 3: How Teens Incorporate Digital Platforms and Devices Into Their Romantic Relationships
• Chapter 4: Social Media and Romantic Relationships
• Chapter 6: Teen Relationship Struggles: From Potentially Innocuous to Annoying to Abusive Digital Behaviors
• About This Report
• Appendix A: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Teens

An In-Person Talk Is Viewed as the Most Socially Acceptable Way to End a Relationship, Followed by a Phone Call. Breaking Up With Someone Using Text Messaging or Social Media Is Largely Frowned Upon

Teens have many options for how to end romantic relationships, but some ways of doing so are viewed as more socially acceptable than others. The survey asked all teens – those who have dated and those who have not – to rate various ways of breaking up with someone one on a scale of 1 to 10, where a rating of 1 indicates that the approach is “least acceptable” and a 10 indicates that the approach is “most acceptable.”

Out of the six different options presented, telling someone in person is viewed as the most socially acceptable way of breaking up with someone by a wide margin – teens give this an average of 8.4 points on a 1-10 acceptability scale, and 78% rate it an 8 or higher. Breaking up with someone over the telephone is the second-most acceptable approach, although teens consider this a much less acceptable method than telling someone in person. Breaking up over the phone receives an average rating of 5.4 points, with 31% of teens rating it as an 8 or higher. As its comparably lower rating indicates, a substantial minority of teens find breaking up via phone call to be highly un acceptable, as 31% rate it as a 3 or lower on the 1-10 scale.

Several methods of breaking up with someone rank even lower on the social acceptability scale. These include:

Sending them a text message: This receives an average rating of 3.4 points on a 1-10 scale, with just 12% of teens rating it an 8 or higher and 59% rating it a 3 or lower.

• Sending them a message on a social media site: This receives an average of 2.7 points, with 8% rating it an 8 or higher and 72% rating it a 3 or lower.
• Getting a friend to tell them for you: This receives an average of 2.7 points, with 7% rating it an 8 or higher and 69% rating it a 3 or lower.
• Changing your status to single on a social media site: This receives an average of 2.7 points, with 7% rating it an 8 or higher and 71% rating it a 3 or lower.

Teens of all stripes (boys and girls, older teens and younger teens, whites and non-whites, those with relationship experience and those without, among others) rank these approaches in a nearly identical manner. Regardless of their demographic or other characteristics, teens view an in-person conversation as the most socially acceptable way of breaking up with someone (in every instance by a substantial margin); they view calling someone on the telephone as moderately acceptable; and they say breaking up via text message, social media or through a personal intermediary is generally unacceptable.

Teens consider the text message breakup to be socially undesirable, but a sizeable number of teens with relationship experience have been broken up with – or have broken up with others – using text messaging

Along with asking all teens (regardless of whether they have been in a romantic relationship) about the social acceptability of various ways of breaking up with someone, the survey also asked teens with romantic relationship experience about ways in which they have broken up with someone, as well as ways in which a partner has broken up with them.

In certain ways, these reported real-world experiences line up with teens’ general attitudes about the most socially appropriate ways to break up with someone. For example, having an in-person conversation is viewed as the most generally acceptable way to break up with someone, and these conversations are the most common way that breakups occur in a “real-world” setting. Some 62% of teens with relationship experience have broken up with someone in person, and 47% have been broken up with through an in-person discussion.

Similarly, phone call conversations (which are seen as the second-most acceptable way of breaking up with someone) are relatively common: 29% of teens with relationship experience have broken up with someone over the phone, and 27% have been broken up with in this way. And at the other end of the spectrum, breakups through social media (which are viewed as having low levels of acceptability) are quite un common—fewer than one-in-ten teens with dating experience have experienced or initiated a breakup by sending a private social media message, changing their relationship status on Facebook or posting a status update.

At the same time, text messaging – which is widely viewed as one of the least acceptable ways of breaking up with someone – is more common in the context of actual relationships than its perceived acceptability might indicate. Some 27% of teens with relationship experience have broken up with someone via text message, 31% have been broken up with in this way. That makes text message breakups as common as voice call breakups – even though voice calls are viewed as much more socially acceptable.

Finally, many relationships go out not with a bang but with a whimper – some 15% of teens with relationship experience have experienced a breakup that never ended formally, but “just drifted away.” Indeed, teens are more likely to experience this type of breakup than to experience any of the other options mentioned in the survey outside of in-person talks, voice calls and text messaging.

Demographic differences in how teens end relationships are relatively modest

Overall, there are only modest differences between different groups of teens when it comes to their experiences with breakups. Girls are a bit more likely than boys to say they have broken up with someone by sending them a private message on a social network site (10% of girls with relationship experience have done so, compared with 2% of boys), and teens ages 13 and 14 are a bit more likely than older teens to have broken up with someone by posting a status update (9% vs. 2%) or posting an image (4% vs. less than 1%).

There are also modest differences along socioeconomic lines. Teens from households with an annual income of less than $50,000 are more likely than those from higher-income households to say they have broken up with someone by text message (39% vs. 22%) as well as by changing their relationship status on Facebook (15% vs. 2%). They also are more likely to say someone has broken up with them via a private message on a social networking site (13% vs. 3%).

Teens mostly break up on the phone or in person, but sometimes deploy digital tools out of fear, immaturity or self-preservation

Summarizing the feelings of a majority of teens, a high school boy in one of our focus groups said of breaking up with someone:

“Yeah, the best way is in person. Second best way is probably on the phone. I feel like it should be in person. It’s kind of rude to do it on social media.”

But others employ other methods. One high school boy described his breakup tactics:

“Yeah, it’s just slowly drift away. Talk to other females. Hug other females, then do other stuff with other females. Text.”

One high school boy describes breaking up by text as juvenile:

“You have to have maturity. That’s like eighth grade stuff. … I’d do it in person.”

Others describe breaking up by text as way to be nonchalant, or a bit callous, even when you aren’t. As one high school boy relates:

“A text officializes it. So you show that you really don’t care, but you do care.”

A middle school boy describes why digital tools make breaking up easier:

“I think it’s easier to break up with them because … you don’t have to see them if they get sad. If you see them getting all emotional, then you’ll feel bad and be harder on yourself to break up with them.”

Another middle school boy characterizes text-based breakups as self-protective:

“I think that texting is better because you’re not really in person. Like one time I told her you’re just kind of being too clingy and it’s getting really annoying. And she like threw a book at me, so that’s why it’s probably better to do texts.”

Social media and the ability to capture and copy content make breaking up with someone via digital means tricky. As one middle school boy relates:

For some teens the breakup is a drawn-out affair, moving from public digital spaces to private ones. As one high school boy explained:

“It’s crazy. It goes from private to public and then you guys talk it out privately again. … She’ll send a text and be like why you have to do that on Twitter?”

Post-Breakup Rituals and Maintenance: Pruning Connections and Blocking Contact on Social Media and Cellphones Are Common Among Teens

For teens who experience and document the history of their romantic relationships through social media and mobile devices, the end of those relationships can leave behind a trail of digital memories in the form of messages and photos scattered across multiple platforms or the name of an ex in a cellphone address book. These digital platforms also can offer a way for exes to initiate potentially unwanted contact, or simply serve as a visible reminder of a connection that no longer exists in person.

Accordingly, teens often take steps to prune these digital connections when romantic relationships end. Among teens with romantic relationship experience:

• 48% have removed someone they used to date from their cellphone’s address book.
• 38% have untagged or deleted photos of themselves and a past partner on social media.
• 37% have unfriended or blocked someone they used to be in a relationship with on social media. 11
• 30% have blocked an ex from texting them.

Girls are substantially more likely than boys to take these steps in the context of social media. Some 44% of girls with relationship experience have blocked or unfriended an ex on social media (compared with 31% of boys), while 46% girls have untagged or deleted photos from a previous relationship (compared with 30% of boys). By contrast, there are no gender differences when it comes to relationship pruning on cellphones – girls and boys are equally likely to have removed an ex from their phone contacts list (48% of boys and 47% of girls have done so), and to have blocked a previous partner from texting them (29% for boys, 32% for girls). Beyond these gender differences pertaining to social media, there are few other demographic differences when it comes to pruning past relationships on social media or cellphones.

Some teens prune or block former partners at the end of relationships to ease hurt feelings and to stop hurtful behaviors

Teens in our focus groups described their thinking about how to manage their social media after a breakup. A high school girl described her post-breakup social media protocol: “I delete the statuses and stuff. I’m just like this is irrelevant now.” When asked specifically about photos, she responded:

“I guess it depends. Cause like if you’re friends with the person still, that’s OK. But if you’re not, you’re like really bitter, it’s just like ‘I’m erasing you from my life.’”

A high school boy stated, “They’ve got to go. … I delete everything.” In one group, a high school boy described deleting photos of an ex as an act of respect to current and future partners. “They’ve got to go. That’s disrespect to other women.”

Other teens want to retain photos and digital mementos from a past relationship. As one high school boy stated “I’d keep them,” while another boy in a different group remarked, “I wouldn’t delete pictures just to have proof that I dated that girl.”

One high school girl related how she believes that social media makes it harder to get over a failed romantic relationship, and that sometimes seeing an ex delete old photos may motivate her to do the same:

[make it harder to get over someone]

Another middle school boy explained his post-breakup practices and suggested that deleting a photo indicates a relatively high level of anger:

There may be very good reasons for teens to prune or block former partners. As a high school boy related:

“Like my friend, he had just broken up with this girl. He just did it recently. But she was like … she was really commenting on every one of his pictures and just had something to say. Just like let people know that they go out. It was already known, but she just took it to the next level. … Like he’s mine. Yeah, that’s mine.”

Other teens use blocking as a form of revenge with the intent to further hurt an ex. As one high school boy explained:

“If she’s going to be vicious, you block her. … It shows block. That also will get to her.”

Some teens also use social media to have their say or tell their side of the story to their network. As one high school boy described:

“I see some girls post pictures of the boy they just broke up with and wrote a whole paragraph just like roasting them. Just like telling him all the bad things he did.”

A majority of teen daters agree that social media allows people to offer support when romantic relationships end; but some find that others are too nosy

Despite some of the challenges outlined above, a majority of teen daters view social media as a supportive place in the context of relationship breakups. Some 63% of teen social media users with relationship experience agree with the statement that “social media allows people to support you when a relationship ends,” although just 8% agree with the statement strongly.

At the same time, a substantial minority of teens do not view social media as a supportive place. Some 37% disagree with the notion that social media allows people to support them when a relationship ends, although again most do not have especially strong views – just 3% “strongly disagree” with this statement.

As noted above, girls are more likely than boys to take an active role in pruning photos from past relationships, and to block or unfriend exes. Yet boys and girls have identical views on whether social media offers a place for others to support them in the context of a romantic breakup.

Teens in our focus group told us that social media is a mixed blessing during a breakup, but offers an important place for social support that might be hard for some to receive in person. As one high school girl related:

“I think social media makes it hard after a breakup, but it can make it easier. Because sometimes I want to talk to my best friend after I break up with someone. I’ll be sad. And then they’re always there for me, and it’s easier to talk to them over social media because then they won’t see me cry or anything. So I can talk to them there.”

Other focus group teens found just the opposite – that after a breakup, people in their networks wanted to be too involved. One high school girl explained why she didn’t want support from her network after a breakup:

“No, because they always in your business. … Just trying to be nosy.”

Another girl in the same focus group said that her friends would ask “Like what happened? Why did y’all break up?” and not always because they were concerned for her emotional well-being, but “ so they can maybe go jump on him or something.”

And sometimes, different friends in a teen’s network are trying to be helpful after a breakup but end up creating more drama. As a high school girl explained:

“First of all, my friends are just like, well, I’m going to go kill him for you. I’m like, no, you don’t have to do that. I mean, it’s nice that they care. But, I mean, sometimes … it depends on the friends. I have friends with a lot of different attitudes. Some of them will ask, in a way, just like a status. And just like, oh, I need to tell everybody about this, but some of them, like, they actually care and they want to make sure that everything’s OK.”

And some teens just aren’t that interested in a friend’s breakup. Said one high school girl:

[after a breakup]

Teens are divided on whether social media makes it hard to escape former romantic partners

For teens who document the course of their romantic relationships on social media, that documentation might make it more challenging to forget about past relationships when those relationships end. However, teens themselves are nearly evenly divided on the impact of social media when it comes to forgetting about past significant others. Some 47% of teens with relationship experience who use social media agree with the following statement: “You can’t escape people you used to date because you still see them in photos and posts on social media,” with 8% agreeing strongly. At the same time 53% of these teens disagree with this statement, 7% of them doing so strongly.

Teens of various demographic groups are divided on this question – boys and girls, younger and older teens, and lower- and higher-income teens are all evenly split on this question.

• 55% of all teens have unfriended or unfollowed an ex-friend, and 43% of teens have blocked a former friend. See our “Teens and Friendships” report for more data on the end of friendships. ↩

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Technology to defeat Ebola

Mathematics for a sustainable world, openmind books, scientific anniversaries, what is the purpose of music, featured author, latest book, how the internet has changed everyday life, what happened.

The Internet has turned our existence upside down. It has revolutionized communications, to the extent that it is now our preferred medium of everyday communication. In almost everything we do, we use the Internet. Ordering a pizza, buying a television, sharing a moment with a friend, sending a picture over instant messaging. Before the Internet, if you wanted to keep up with the news, you had to walk down to the newsstand when it opened in the morning and buy a local edition reporting what had happened the previous day. But today a click or two is enough to read your local paper and any news source from anywhere in the world, updated up to the minute.

The Internet itself has been transformed. In its early days—which from a historical perspective are still relatively recent—it was a static network designed to shuttle a small freight of bytes or a short message between two terminals; it was a repository of information where content was published and maintained only by expert coders. Today, however, immense quantities of information are uploaded and downloaded over this electronic leviathan, and the content is very much our own, for now we are all commentators, publishers, and creators.

In the 1980s and 1990s, the Internet widened in scope to encompass the IT capabilities of universities and research centers, and, later on, public entities, institutions, and private enterprises from around the world. The Internet underwent immense growth; it was no longer a state-controlled project, but the largest computer network in the world, comprising over 50,000 sub-networks, 4 million systems, and 70 million users.

The emergence of  web 2.0  in the first decade of the twenty-first century was itself a revolution in the short history of the Internet, fostering the rise of social media and other interactive, crowd-based communication tools.

The Internet was no longer concerned with information exchange alone: it was a sophisticated multidisciplinary tool enabling individuals to create content, communicate with one another, and even escape reality. Today, we can send data from one end of the world to the other in a matter of seconds, make online presentations, live in parallel “game worlds,” and use pictures, video, sound, and text to share our real lives, our genuine identity. Personal stories go public; local issues become global.

The rise of the Internet has sparked a debate about how online communication affects social relationships. The Internet frees us from geographic fetters and brings us together in topic-based communities that are not tied down to any specific place. Ours is a networked, globalized society connected by new technologies. The Internet is the tool we use to interact with one another, and accordingly poses new challenges to privacy and security.

Information technologies have wrought fundamental change throughout society, driving it forward from the industrial age to the networked era. In our world, global information networks are vital infrastructure—but in what ways has this changed human relations? The Internet has changed business, education, government, healthcare, and even the ways in which we interact with our loved ones—it has become one of the key drivers of social evolution.

The changes in social communication are of particular significance. Although analogue tools still have their place in some sectors, new technologies are continuing to gain ground every day, transforming our communication practices and possibilities—particularly among younger people. The Internet has removed all communication barriers. Online, the conventional constraints of space and time disappear and there is a dizzyingly wide range of communicative possibilities. The impact of social media applications has triggered discussion of the “new communication democracy.”

The development of the Internet today is being shaped predominantly by instant, mobile communications. The mobile Internet is a fresh revolution. Comprehensive Internet connectivity via smartphones and tablets is leading to an increasingly mobile reality: we are not tied to any single specific device, and everything is in the cloud.

People no longer spend hours gazing at a computer screen after work or class; instead, they use their mobile devices to stay online everywhere, all the time.

Anyone failing to keep abreast of this radical change is losing out on an opportunity.

Communication Opportunities Created by the Internet

The Internet has become embedded in every aspect of our day-to-day lives, changing the way we interact with others. This insight struck me when I started out in the world of social media. I created my first social network in 2005, when I was finishing college in the United States—it had a political theme. I could already see that social media were on the verge of changing our way of communicating, helping us to share information by opening up a new channel that cuts across conventional ones.

That first attempt did not work out, but I learned from the experience.I get the feeling that in many countries failure is punished too harshly—but the fact is, the only surefire way of avoiding failure is to do nothing at all. I firmly believe that mistakes help you improve; getting it wrong teaches you how to get it right. Creativity, hard work, and a positive attitude will let you achieve any goal.

In 2006, after I moved to Spain, I created Tuenti. Tuenti (which, contrary to widespread belief, has nothing to do with the number 20; it is short for “tu entidad,” the Spanish for “your entity”) is a social communication platform for genuine friends. From the outset, the idea was to keep it simple, relevant, and private. That’s the key to its success.

I think the real value of social media is that you can stay in touch from moment to moment with the people who really matter to you. Social media let you share experiences and information; they get people and ideas in touch instantly, without frontiers. Camaraderie, friendship, and solidarity—social phenomena that have been around for as long as humanity itself—have been freed from the conventional restrictions of space and time and can now thrive in a rich variety of ways.

Out of all the plethora of communication opportunities that the Internet has opened up, I would highlight the emergence of social media and the way they have intricately melded into our daily lives. Social media have changed our personal space, altering the way we interact with our loved ones, our friends, and our sexual partners; they have forced us to rethink even basic daily processes like studying and shopping; they have affected the economy by nurturing the business startup culture and electronic commerce; they have even given us new ways to form broad-based political movements.

The Internet and Education

The Internet has clearly impacted all levels of education by providing unbounded possibilities for learning. I believe the future of education is a networked future. People can use the Internet to create and share knowledge and develop new ways of teaching and learning that captivate and stimulate students’ imagination at any time, anywhere, using any device. By connecting and empowering students and educators, we can speed up economic growth and enhance the well-being of society throughout the world. We should work together, over a network, to build the global learning society.

The network of networks is an inexhaustible source of information. What’s more, the Internet has enabled users to move away from their former passive role as mere recipients of messages conveyed by conventional media to an active role, choosing what information to receive, how, and when. The information recipient even decides whether or not they want to stay informed.

We have moved on from scattergun mass communication to a pattern where the user proactively selects the information they need.

Students can work interactively with one another, unrestricted by physical or time constraints. Today, you can use the Internet to access libraries, encyclopedias, art galleries, news archives, and other information sources from anywhere in the world: I believe this is a key advantage in the education field. The web is a formidable resource for enhancing the process of building knowledge.

I also believe the Internet is a wonderful tool for learning and practicing other languages—this continues to be a critical issue in many countries, including Spain, and, in a globalized world, calls for special efforts to improve.

The Internet, in addition to its communicative purposes, has become a vital tool for exchanging knowledge and education; it is not just an information source, or a locus where results can be published, it is also a channel for cooperating with other people and groups who are working on related research topics.

The Internet and Privacy and Security

Another key issue surrounding Internet use is privacy. Internet users are becoming more sensitive to the insight that privacy is a must-have in our lives.

Privacy has risen near the top of the agenda in step with an increasing awareness of the implications of using social media. Much of the time, people started to use social media with no real idea of the dangers, and have wised up only through trial and error—sheer accident, snafus, and mistakes. Lately, inappropriate use of social media seems to hit the headlines every day. Celebrities posting inappropriate comments to their profiles, private pictures and tapes leaked to the Internet at large, companies displaying arrogance toward users, and even criminal activities involving private-data trafficking or social media exploitation.

All this shows that—contrary to what many people seem to have assumed—online security and privacy are critical, and, I believe, will become even more important going forward. And, although every user needs privacy, the issue is particularly sensitive for minors—despite attempts to raise their awareness, children still behave recklessly online.

I have always been highly concerned about privacy. On Tuenti, the default privacy setting on every user account is the highest available level of data protection. Only people the user has accepted as a “friend” can access their personal details, see their telephone number, or download their pictures. This means that, by default, user information is not accessible to third parties. In addition, users are supported by procedures for reporting abuse. Any user can report a profile or photograph that is abusive, inappropriate, or violates the terms of use: action is taken immediately. Security and privacy queries are resolved within 24 hours.

We need to be aware that different Internet platforms provide widely different privacy experiences. Some of them are entirely open and public; no steps whatsoever are taken to protect personal information, and all profiles are indexable by Internet search engines.

On the other hand, I think the debate about whether social media use should be subject to an age requirement is somewhat pointless, given that most globally active platforms operate without age restrictions. The European regulatory framework is quite different from the United States and Asian codes. Companies based in Europe are bound by rigorous policies on privacy and underage use of social media. This can become a competitive drawback when the ground rules do not apply equally to all players—our American and Japanese competitors, for instance, are not required to place any kind of age constraint on access.

Outside the scope of what the industry or regulators can do, it is vital that users themselves look after the privacy of their data. I believe the information is the user’s property, so the user is the only party entitled to control the collection, use, and disclosure of any information about him or herself. Some social networks seem to have forgotten this fact—they sell data, make it impossible to delete an account, or make it complex and difficult to manage one’s privacy settings. Everything should be a lot simpler and more transparent.

Social networks should continue to devote intense efforts to developing self-regulation mechanisms and guidelines for this new environment of online coexistence to ensure that user information is safe: the Internet should be a space for freedom, but also for trust. The main way of ensuring that social media are used appropriately is awareness. But awareness and user education will be of little use unless it becomes an absolute requirement that the privacy of the individual is treated as a universal value.

The Internet and Culture

As in the sphere of education, the development of information and communication technologies and the wide-ranging effects of globalization are changing what we are, and the meaning of cultural identity. Ours is a complex world in which cultural flows across borders are always on the rise. The concepts of space, time, and distance are losing their conventional meanings. Cultural globalization is here, and a global movement of cultural processes and initiatives is underway.

Again, in the cultural arena, vast fields of opportunity open up thanks to online tools. The possibilities are multiplied for disseminating a proposal, an item of knowledge, or a work of art. Against those doomsayers who warn that the Internet is harming culture, I am radically optimistic. The Internet is bringing culture closer to more people, making it more easily and quickly accessible; it is also nurturing the rise of new forms of expression for art and the spread of knowledge. Some would say, in fact, that the Internet is not just a technology, but a cultural artifact in its own right.

In addition to its impact on culture itself, the Internet is enormously beneficial for innovation, which brings progress in all fields of endeavor—the creation of new goods, services, and ideas, the advance of knowledge and society, and increasing well-being.

The Internet and Personal Relationships

The Internet has also changed the way we interact with our family, friends, and life partners. Now everyone is connected to everyone else in a simpler, more accessible, and more immediate way; we can conduct part of our personal relationships using our laptops, smart phones, and tablets.

The benefits of always-online immediate availability are highly significant. I would find a long-distance relationship with my life partner or my family unthinkable without the communication tools that the network of networks provides me with. I’m living in Madrid, but I can stay close to my brother in California. For me, that is the key plus of the Internet: keeping in touch with the people who really matter to me.

As we have seen, the Internet revolution is not just technological; it also operates at a personal level, and throughout the structure of society. The Internet makes it possible for an unlimited number of people to communicate with one another freely and easily, in an unrestricted way.

Just a century ago, this was unimaginable. An increasing number of couples come together, stay together, or break up with the aid—or even as a consequence—of social communication tools. There are even apps and social networks out there that are purposely designed to help people get together for sex.

Of course, when compared to face-to-face communication, online communication is severely limited in the sense impressions it can convey (an estimated 60 to 70 percent of human communication takes place nonverbally), which can lead to misunderstandings and embarrassing situations—no doubt quite a few relationships have floundered as a result. I think the key is to be genuine, honest, and real at all times, using all the social media tools and their many advantages. Let’s just remember that a liar and a cheat online is a liar and a cheat offline too.

The Internet and Social and Political Activism

Even before the emergence of social media, pioneering experiments took place in the political sphere—like  Essembly , a project I was involved in. We started to create a politically themed platform to encourage debate and provide a home for social and political causes; but the social networks that have later nurtured activism in a new way were not as yet in existence.

Research has shown that young people who voice their political opinions on the Internet are more inclined to take part in public affairs. The better informed a citizen is, the more likely they will step into the polling booth, and the better they will express their political liberties. The Internet has proved to be a decisive communication tool in the latest election campaigns. It is thanks to the Internet that causes in the social, welfare, ideological, and political arenas have been spoken up for and have won the support of other citizens sharing those values—in many cases, with a real impact on government decision making.

The Internet and Consumer Trends

New technologies increase the speed of information transfer, and this opens up the possibility of “bespoke” shopping. The Internet offers an immense wealth of possibilities for buying content, news, and leisure products, and all sorts of advantages arise from e-commerce, which has become a major distribution channel for goods and services. You can book airline tickets, get a T-shirt from Australia, or buy food at an online grocery store. New applications support secure business transactions and create new commercial opportunities.

In this setting, it is the consumer who gains the upper hand, and the conventional rules and methods of distribution and marketing break down. Consumers’ access to information multiplies, and their reviews of their experience with various products and services take center stage. Access to product comparisons and rankings, user reviews and comments, and recommendations from bloggers with large followings have shaped a new scenario for consumer behavior, retail trade, and the economy in general.

The Internet and the Economy

The Internet is one of the key factors driving today’s economy. No one can afford to be left behind. Even in a tough macroeconomic framework, the Internet can foster growth, coupled with enhanced productivity and competitiveness.

The Internet provides opportunities for strengthening the economy: How should we tackle them? While Europe—and Spain specifically—are making efforts to make the best possible use of the Internet, there are areas in which their approach needs to improve. Europe faces a major challenge, and risks serious failure if it lets the United States run ahead on its own. The European Commission, in its “Startup Manifesto,” suggests that the Old World be more entrepreneur-friendly—the proposal is backed by companies like Spotify and Tuenti. Europe lacks some of the necessary know-how. We need to improve in financial services and in data privacy, moving past the obsolete regulatory framework we now have and making a bid to achieve a well-connected continent with a single market for 4G mobile connections. We need to make it easier to hire talent outside each given country.

The use of e-commerce should be encouraged among small and medium-sized enterprises so that growth opportunities can be exploited more intensely. Following the global trend of the Internet, companies should internalize their online business. And much more emphasis should be placed on new technologies training in the academic and business spheres.

Modern life is global, and Spain is competing against every other country in the world. I do not believe in defeatism or victim culture. Optimism should not translate into callousness, but I sincerely believe that if you think creatively, if you find a different angle, if you innovate with a positive attitude and without fear of failure, then you can change things for the better. Spain needs to seize the moment to reinvent itself, grasping the opportunities offered up by the online world. We need to act, take decisions, avoid “paralysis through analysis.” I sometimes feel we are too inclined to navel-gazing: Spain shuts itself off, fascinated with its own contradictions and local issues, and loses its sense of perspective. Spain should open up to the outside, use the crisis as an opportunity to do things differently, in a new way—creating value, underlining its strengths, aspiring to be something more.

In the United States, for instance, diving headfirst into a personal Internet-related startup is regarded as perfectly normal. I’m glad to see that this entrepreneurial spirit is beginning to take hold here as well. I believe in working hard, showing perseverance, keeping your goals in view, surrounding yourself with talent, and taking risks. No risk, no success. We live in an increasingly globalized world: of course you can have a Spain-based Internet startup, there are no frontiers.

We need to take risks and keep one step ahead of the future. It is precisely the most disruptive innovations that require radical changes in approach and product, which might not even find a market yet ready for them—these are the areas providing real opportunities to continue being relevant, to move forward and “earn” the future, creating value and maintaining leadership. It is the disruptive changes that enable a business, product, or service to revolutionize the market—and, particularly in the technology sector, such changes are a necessity.

The Future of Social Communications, Innovation, Mobile Technologies, and Total Connectivity in Our Lives

The future of social communications will be shaped by an  always-online  culture.  Always online  is already here and will set the trend going forward. Total connectivity, the Internet you can take with you wherever you go, is growing unstoppably. There is no turning back for global digitalization.

Innovation is the driving force of growth and progress, so we need to shake up entrenched processes, products, services, and industries, so that all of us together—including established businesses, reacting to their emerging competitors—can move forward together.

Innovation is shaping and will continue to shape the future of social communications. It is already a reality that Internet connections are increasingly mobile. A survey we conducted in early 2013 in partnership with Ipsos found that 94 percent of Tuenti users aged 16 to 35 owned cell phones, 84 percent of users connected to the Internet using their phones, and 47 percent had mobile data subscriptions for connecting to the Internet. A total of 74 percent of users reported connecting to the Internet from their phone on a daily basis, while 84 percent did so at least weekly. Only 13 percent did not use their phones to connect to the Internet, and that percentage is decreasing every day.

Mobile Internet use alters the pattern of device usage; the hitherto familiar ways of accessing the Internet are changing too. The smartphone activities taking up the most time (over three hours a day) include instant messaging (38%), social media use (35%), listening to music (24%), and web browsing (20%). The activities taking up the least time (under five minutes a day) are: SMS texting (51%), watching movies (43%), reading and writing e-mail (38%), and talking on the phone (32%). Things are still changing.

Smartphones are gaining ground in everyday life. Many of the purposes formerly served by other items now involve using our smartphones. Some 75 percent of young people reported having replaced their MP3 player with their phone, 74 percent use their phone as an alarm clock, 70 percent use it as their camera, and 67 percent use it as their watch.

We have been observing these shifts for a while, which is why we decided to reinvent ourselves by placing smartphones at the heart of our strategy. I want to use this example as a showcase of what is happening in the world of social communication and the Internet in general: mobile connectivity is bringing about a new revolution. Tuenti is no longer just a social network, and social media as a whole are becoming more than just websites. The new Tuenti provides native mobile apps for Android, iPhone, Blackberry, Windows Phone, as well as the Firefox OS app and the mobile version of the website, m.tuenti.com. Tuenti is now a cross-platform service that lets users connect with their friends and contacts from wherever they may be, using their device of choice. A user with a laptop can IM in real time with a user with a smartphone, and switch from one device to another without losing the thread of the conversation. The conversations are in the cloud, so data and contacts are preserved independently of the devices being used. This means the experience has to be made uniform across platforms, which sometimes involves paring down functionalities, given the processing and screen size limitations of mobile devices. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, and so on are all evolving to become increasingly cross-platform experiences. But Tuenti is the first social network that has also developed its own Mobile Virtual Network Operator (MVNO)—the company is an Internet service provider over the mobile network. Tuenti is an MVNO with a social media angle, and this may be the future path of telecommunications.

Social media are evolving to become something more, and innovation must be their hallmark if they are to continue being relevant. Tuenti now embraces both social communications and telecom services provision, offering value added by letting you use the mobile app free of charge and without using up your data traffic allowance, even if you have no credit on your prepaid card—this is wholly revolutionary in the telecom sector. The convergence of social media with more traditional sectors is already bringing about a new context for innovation, a new arena for the development and growth of the Internet.

Just about everything in the world of the Internet still lies ahead of us, and mobile communications as we know them must be reinvented by making them more digital. The future will be shaped by innovation converging with the impact of mobility. This applies not just to social media but to the Internet in general, particularly in the social communications field. I feel that many people do not understand what we are doing and have no idea of the potential development of companies like ours at the global level. Right now, there may be somebody out there, in some corner of the world, developing the tool that will turn the Internet upside down all over again. The tool that will alter our day-to-day life once more. Creating more opportunities, providing new benefits to individuals, bringing more individual and collective well-being. Just ten years ago, social media did not exist; in the next ten years, something else radically new will emerge. There are many areas in which products, processes, and services can be improved or created afresh. The future is brimming with opportunities, and the future of the Internet has only just begun.

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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Online Dating — Love, Online Dating and Social Media

Love, Online Dating and Social Media

• Categories: Dating Effects of Social Media Online Dating

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How Social Media Is Killing Relationships And Making Our Breakups Even Worse

Social media is single-handedly breaking up couples everywhere. It's also making breakups more painful, more drawn out and more public.

Who wants that?

Here are eight reasons you should lay off the social media if you don't want to ruin your relationship and suffer a breakup that's even worse than it should be.

1. It's distracting us from actually spending time together.

I can't tell you how many times I've been out at a bar or restaurant and I see couples on their phones.

Maybe it's a first date that isn't going well, or maybe there's a huge news story going on that I'm missing out on. But most likely, you're just ignoring each other.

We are all addicted to our phones and soon, we may actually forget how to meet people in real life.

We are in constant contact with one another whether it's texting, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, or some other outlet. We always know what our friends, family and acquaintances are doing.

2. We're stalking each other.

Why bother having a conversation with someone when you've already crept their Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Snapchat story, and blog?

At this point you already know everything you need to know, right?

And that's before you go into how we all stalk our exes ...

3.  We're oversharing.

Part of being in a relationship is being able to share things with each other that we may not share with anyone else.

Now that we have social media, people are telling EVERYONE literally EVERYTHING about their life.

Oh, your grandma is in the hospital and you need prayers? You got it.

You were offered the job you really wanted? Congrats!

When you tell people who are basically strangers these details about your life, sharing these things with your significant other loses its value.

4. We're becoming addicted to attention.

You're lying to yourself if you don't get pumped when you reach a new all time high on likes on your latest Instagram post.

All the notifications, comments, likes, and follows are making our brains addicted to attention. We're looking for the newest way to get engagements on our social media instead of being happy with just the attention in our relationships.

5. Tinder exists.

Tinder launched and we started being able to connect with someone at the swipe of a finger.

A couple tough days in a relationship can lead to curiosity, which leads to wandering, which leads to actually matching with someone and maybe even meeting up with them.

Apps like Tinder have made it too easy to stray from a relationship when things get tough, instead of communicating and working through whatever the problem is.

And there are studies that say Tinder is ruining our self-esteem . Nah, girl.

6. We compare our relationships to others.

Just because a couple posts a picture on a beach at sunset does not mean they have a perfect relationship.

Anyone can post a cute picture with their significant other on social media. It doesn't mean their relationship is better than yours, so stop comparing the two.

7.  We jump to conclusions.

Just because your boyfriend's or girlfriend's ex liked their Instagram picture doesn't mean they're seeing each other behind your back. It also does not mean they are falling in love all over again.

A lot of people can't let go of the past and social media allows them to continue feeling connected.

A lot of people also like to create drama. Liking a picture, commenting on a post or even following or friending them will do just that. When we see two people connect on social media, we often jump to conclusions even though in reality, it's unlikely that they ever even speak.

8.  We focus on strangers' lives rather than our own.

It's hard to focus on ourselves when there are so many people sharing every single problem and achievement they have on social media.

We are starting to live vicariously through travel blogs and posts, instead of actually traveling ourselves. We're watching other people experience life through our computer and phone screens instead of living in the moment of our own lives.

Sad, right? Get off your phone and start talking to the person who's in front of you. Your relationship will thank you for it.

Intimacy and the Internet: Relationships with Friends, Romantic Partners, and Family Members

• First Online: 20 October 2010

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• Kaveri Subrahmanyam 3 &
• David Šmahel 4  

Part of the book series: Advancing Responsible Adolescent Development ((ARAD))

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5 Citations

Digital communication tools, such as email, instant messaging, text messaging, games, and social networking sites are very popular among adolescents. Youth use them to interact and communicate with their peers as well as their family members. In this chapter, we explore the role of technology in the third task facing adolescents: that of developing intimacy and interconnections with the people in their lives. We consider the mediating role of technology in three important relationships in young people’s lives: friendships and peer group relationships, romantic relationships (dating), and relationships within the family. First, we describe their use of online contexts to interact with their friends and other peers. Because of concerns about purely online friendships, we examine separately their online interactions with offline friends and acquaintances as well as their online relationships with peers, who are not part of their offline world, and the quality of such purely online relationships. Then we describe adolescents’ online romantic relationships, and reflecting extant research, will focus on those that are purely online. The final section will describe technology and teens’ relationships with their family, with a special emphasis on how teens’ status as the technology expert may be altering traditional family dynamics and relationships. The chapter concludes by raising questions about whether adolescents’ online interactions with their peers may transform their friendships and disrupt their family relationships.

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Subrahmanyam, K., Šmahel, D. (2011). Intimacy and the Internet: Relationships with Friends, Romantic Partners, and Family Members. In: Digital Youth. Advancing Responsible Adolescent Development. Springer, New York, NY. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-1-4419-6278-2_5

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Mean Girls For this extra credit, I watched Mean Girls which was released in 2004. I enjoyed watching this movie and trying to analyze and apply the concepts I have learned throughout this course. The two relationships in the movie that I will discuss and...

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Did the Internet Break Love?

4 keys to survive dating in the age of romantic consumerism..

Posted December 7, 2018

Love is what makes the world go ‘round. Wars have been fought for it, people have died for it, we all know we want it, yet in a world where we have more access than any generation in history to an abundance of partners, love seems harder than ever to find.

No matter why someone comes to see me for therapy , relationships are a big part of what we talk about. The number of attractive, successful people I’ve met who, by the time they are in their mid to late 30s, have never had a relationship longer than six months, and the number of people who, by the time they are in their 40s and 50s, are so discouraged by their perpetual disappointment that they are opting out of the dating world entirely, is more than striking. Younger clients of mine don’t even use the term dating; everything is a “hook-up,” and the “C” word to be petrified of isn’t "cancer," it’s "commitment." What is obvious to everyone is that the world of mating has changed.

The easy culprit to point the finger at is the internet. A good deal has been written about how social media can negatively influence our relationships. We don’t talk as much, because instead we text; we don’t express emotions, because instead we use emoticons; satisfaction is down, because we compare our relationships to everyone else; trust is gone, because we monitor our partners' online behavior; privacy is gone, and breakups are extra painful, because everything that happens is now public. In two separate studies, Russell Clayton Ph.D., an assistant professor of psychology and journalism at Florida State University, found that the more often a respondent reported being active on Twitter or Facebook, the more likely they were to experience Twitter or Facebook-related conflict with their partner, which then significantly predicted negative relationship outcomes, such as cheating, breakup, and divorce . 1

Then there is the world of online dating. Many people find real love on the internet. Like social media, the mechanism can be very useful. But what most will agree on is that internet dating has created the illusion of abundance. When someone signs on to a dating website, they see page after page of people looking for love, and it is easy to believe that all of these single people are available options. The reality is that these people aren’t necessarily any more interested in you than if you met them at a party or a concert. The volume, however, creates seeming abundance, and that can generate a belief that the idealistic is attainable, which can increase dissatisfaction with what you have. Quantity, however, doesn’t equal quality, and for many, “the free market economy [of love] with its abundance of choice has led to paralysis, not liberation.” 2

One consequence of the perceived abundance of partners that internet dating has brought to our society is that many people approach dating through a cultural mindset of consumerism . You can shop for a relationship in the same way that you shop for a cell phone or a car. As online dating has become more commonplace, so has the tendency to view potential romantic partners through a product-consuming paradigm. As a result, relationships are viewed by many as a passive consumption of an experience. If the experience fails to meet our desired personal expectation, we dispose of the other individual and move on in search of the next better experience. Often without much explanation, if any. (Read: "Why Ghosting Hurts So Much.")

A consumerist mindset is easier on your ego; if the food in the restaurant is lousy, or the hotel is disappointing, it’s not your fault. But when it comes to relationships, this approach ignores the important fact that we are active contributors who participate in the creation of the romantic experiences we have. It can mistakenly lead to the belief that the external is the problem, when what you really need to do in order to find a more satisfying relationship is work on your internal state.

The internet alone, however, isn’t to blame for our dating dilemmas. There has been a cultural and societal shift over the past 60 years, which significantly predates the internet, that has redefined what we seek for ourselves in terms of our own individualism and personal fulfillment. This shift has changed what we expect from our romantic relationships , whether we meet them online or not.

We prioritize our freedom and individual happiness and feel less constrained than past generations by the concepts of duty and obligation. As Esther Perel puts it in her book, Mating in Captivity, “we are freer, but also more alone.” 3 As a result, we crave companionship and emotional connection to fill an existential emptiness. We want more from our relationships than ever, yet ironically, the technological advancement of modern life and the internet has resulted in many people being less adept at creating intimacy and less willing to do what it takes to put forth the effort to create the connection we are desperately seeking.

So how to do you survive the quest for love in the age of the internet and romantic consumerism?

1. Know your value — Dating in this modern era can take a toll on your self-esteem and mental well-being. If you've ever been ghosted , benched, or stashed, or encountered any other dating trends that can leave you feeling disposable or unappreciated, it is important to know that these behaviors say nothing about your worthiness for love and reflect only on the person engaging in them. Instead of allowing the bad behavior of someone else to make you feel bad about yourself, focus on why you know you deserve better. It may help to write down what it is you know you offer or bring to a relationship. You don’t have to be rich or beautiful to offer something — personality characteristics are far more important to the overall quality of a relationship. When you feel good about who you are and know the value you bring to a relationship, you are far less likely to tolerate bad behavior from someone else. If it's hard to think of anything positive, then it may be important to do some work on your self-esteem before your next relationship. ( For a simple 30-day exercise that trains your attention to focus on your positive qualities, click here .)

2. Know your values — Most people don’t spend much time in their day thinking about their values, and yet, your values guide so much of what you do. Your values are simply your ideals and beliefs about what matters to you and what will make you feel good about who you are. When you aren't clear about what you value, it is easy to allow other people to steer you in the direction of behaviors and activities that don't leave you feeling good. Knowing your values helps you prioritize and make good decisions. If you know you value being productive during your day, you might not choose to spend the whole night out drinking. If you know you value only having sex with someone who you are in a committed relationship with, you might not choose to have sex on a first date.

Relationships tend to work out best when you find someone who shares your value system. Instead of compromising what is important to you because you fear that the other person will move on if you don’t, be willing to let go of people who don't share or respect your choices to be the best version of you.

3. Trust your instincts — How many times have you heard the little voice inside and then completely ignored it? At the end of a relationship, most people will say they saw the red flags early on, but decided to ignore them. We all have an inner voice that tells us when a situation or a person we are with is good for us or not. Oftentimes when someone acts in a way that isn't in accordance with your value system, that's when the alarm bells go off. You may tell yourself that you should be open-minded, or that you don't want to judge the other person, or that if you are too picky, you will never find anyone. When you start having those thoughts, it may be a good idea to step back and ask yourself if you are ignoring important information.

4. Own your role in a relationship — If there are two people in a room, there is a dynamic that both people participate in creating. Spend some time learning about what interpersonal style you bring to a relationship. Most of us learned how to relate to another human being in our family of origin. Unless that was an idyllic experience, there is likely quite a bit you could learn in terms of how to relate to your partner in a healthy way. Learn about your own cognitive biases and attachment style, learn your love language, learn how to improve your communication skills, learn how to express your emotions and build an intimate bond with someone. The more you know about yourself, the more likely you are to successfully navigate a relationship with someone else. There are lots of books, blogs, videos, workshops on relationships that you can invest some time in, and yes even therapy may be helpful. If you don’t take responsibility for what you bring to a relationship, finding someone new won’t make any difference. You will continue to recreate the same dynamics in every relationship you have.

1. Russel Clayton. The Third Wheel: The Impact of Twitter Use on Relationship Infidelity and Divorce. Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking Vol. 17, No. 7, Published Online:3 Jul 2014. https://doi.org/10.1089/cyber.2013.0570

2. https://www.sbs.com.au/topics/life/relationships/article/2017/02/13/rip…

3. Esther Perel. 2007. Mating in Captivity. Harper Collins, NY.

Jennice Vilhauer, Ph.D. , is the Director of Emory University’s Adult Outpatient Psychotherapy Program in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Science in the School of Medicine.

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Free Romantic Relationship Essay Examples & Topics

A relationship is a connection between two or more people. Relationships vary in nature and can be positive, negative, platonic, intimate, etc. That is to say, there are numerous types of relationships. Yet, four basic ones are generally recognized in society. You’re likely to be familiar with acquaintanceships, friendships, romantic and family relationships.

Typically, “being in a relationship” refers to a romantic connection between two people. This kind of love is an emotional attachment between individuals, with passion being just one of the prominent features. Romantic relationships involve both spiritual and physical intimacy, commitment, and trust.

In your romantic relationship essay, you can explore this phenomenon using fictional characters from literature or movies. You also have the opportunity to ponder upon the concept of love, its different types and manifestations or analyze your relationships. In this article, our team collected tips that will be useful for writing such a paper. In addition, you will find romantic essay examples and topics on this page.

Your essay about a romantic relationship will depend on the assignment you receive. Besides argumentative and persuasive papers, you may be asked to write reflective or analytical work. Regardless of the essay type, they all have the same basic academic structure. So, here we’ll explain how to start and end this task.

The following aspects will be suitable for argumentative essays about a romantic relationship:

• A catchy hook. Come up with a creative way to grab your readers’ attention from the very first sentence. Ask a question, use a metaphor, or include a quote. You can even provide statistics – use any method to ensure your audience is captivated.
• Some context. The introduction is the place to familiarize your audience with your topic. Provide a general background that will give some context to the rest of your essay. This is also the place to clarify any terms unfamiliar to your readers.
• Thesis statement. Write a sentence that will reflect the main point you are trying to make. A strong thesis statement should guide your readers through your essay. Include the key argument that you will develop in the body of your paper.
• Arguments & supporting evidence. In the main body, develop each key point separately. Here, each paragraph should include a topic sentence, supporting details, and examples. Make sure your arguments are backed up by solid evidence. We recommend you use only trustworthy sources of information (academic articles, official websites with the domain .gov, .edu, etc.).
• Short summary and restatement. In your conclusion, summarize the key points and restate your thesis statement. Do not add any new arguments, facts, or details. The conclusion is the place to review your findings and propose further areas for study.
• A concluding sentence. The key to successful essay writing is a solid and dynamic concluding sentence. It must provide a sense of closure and open space for further study. Spend some time drafting up the perfect last sentence of your essay.

Any successful romantic love essay requires an appropriate topic. Unfortunately, they can be hard to find, especially regarding such a sensitive subject. We created a list of unique ideas to explore and consider in this section. You can also try out our title generator. It will propose even more topics about romantic relationships.

• Factors affecting attractions towards other people during teenage years.
• The role of meaningful conversations in maintaining a healthy relationship between partners.
• The “ideal” boyfriend and girlfriend: fake portrayals of romantic love on social media.
• How can love letters improve the romantic relationship between partners in the digital era?
• Romeo and Juliet as an example of enduring love, commitment, and passion.
• The main principles of interpersonal communication used in conflict resolution.
• Similarities and differences in love expression between adolescents and grownups.
• How may the poor basis for interpersonal relationships affect marriage in the long run?
• Unrequired love among teenagers. What are the threats of experiencing it at a young age?
• What is romantic love? How do you distinguish it from a short-term crush?
• The major stages of relationship development.
• What are some major takeaways about love that we can get from the literature of the Romanic Era?
• How can you be more romantic and maintain passion after long years of married life?
• My ideal love story: the model of romantic relationship I would like to have in my life.

Thank you for your attention! Below you will find romantic essay examples. They will show you how other students handled such an assignment.

56 Best Essay Examples on Romantic Relationship

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First Date: Sociological Analysis

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Romantic Relationship Stages and Characteristics

Common conflict areas in marital and couple relationships, love and its nature: “perception of love in young adults”, creation and breaking of relationships in you’ve got mail and annie hall.

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Love in a Relationship Without Sex

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Love, in the Form of Romance, Can Never Give Us What We Want

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Maintaining and Repairing Relationships

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Relationships - Free Essay Samples And Topic Ideas

Relationships refer to the connections between individuals, grounded in feelings of love, friendship, kinship, or collegiality. Essays could discuss the psychological, social, or biological bases of human relationships, their importance for individual and societal well-being, or analyze the treatment of relationships in literature, film, and other media. We’ve gathered an extensive assortment of free essay samples on the topic of Relationships you can find at Papersowl. You can use our samples for inspiration to write your own essay, research paper, or just to explore a new topic for yourself.

Job Depth, Range and Relationships

Job performance is defined as “a set of employee work- related behaviors designed to accomplish organizational goals” (Ivancevich, Konopaske, & Matteson 2014). When considering the different variables that tie into job performance, it is important to remember that an employee’s skills, personality, and motivation have a huge impact on the climate and productivity of the company. It is sometimes necessary for an employer to return to the drawing board to create policies and practices to fit the job design, “the […]

Themes of Identity and Relationships in Young Adult Literature/ MLA

The key themes from the book are the themes of identity and relationships. These themes are valuable to young readers as these themes not only keep readers engaged through the personal connections that can be made, but they also help teach readers important core values and help readers develop an identity of their own. In the theme of identity, it is possible to look deeper into LGBTQ+ themes and within the theme of relationships follows themes of peer, family, and […]

Relationship between Humans and Animals

Humans and animals across the globe have had coexistence together for quite a while now and this has been amazing since the relationship is great. The relationship between the two groups of which they are different beings can be described from two angles of both the positive and the negative parts. This essay simply examines the given theoretical arguments that create the relationship between the humans and animals to be smooth. In the modern society, humans have taken the step […]

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Relationships that Characters have with Others, Determine their Worth to other Characters

The Tempest Relationships are an essential thing in stories, because the relationships that characters have with others, determine their worth to other characters. For instance Ariel is a pleasant servant who would never disobey Prospero, and Ariel would always advise Prospero on what he should do next. The counseling that Ariel has given to Prospero and his hard efforts to do Prospero’s bidding has given Ariel an important role to be Prospero’s trusty servant. Ariel has a duty to stay […]

Many Teens are Pressured into Relationships

From childhood, the idea of romantic interest is instilled in children. Two toddlers may enjoy a nice playdate and a friendly hug. Before long, mothers and grandmothers force the kids together as if they are destined to be lovers. These somewhat toxic behaviors stick with kids into adolescence. The standard of finding love is prevalent in culture and society. Movies, music, literature, social media all display this idea of perfect love. Deemed by younger generations as, “relationship goals”, these social […]

Trust in a Relationship

When someone thinks about the most significant quality in a family member, a friend, or a person he or she meets new, the term ‘trust’ immediately comes to mind. It is something that one cannot ignore. It has always been there in human nature. There are different variations within the trust for example naked trust or dry trust etc. Therefore, Trust is a complex fragile term involved in a person’s day-to-day life, it plays an important role in forming or […]

Relationships Becoming Robotic

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Relationships are very Important

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Hamlet and Ophelia Relationship

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The Idea of Romantic and Marital Relationships

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What is Virtual Reality? VR Definition and Examples

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“Teenage Substance Abuse and Impacts on Academic Performance and Relationships”

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• Relationship

Essays on Relationship

Writing a relationship essay is an important task that will prove helpful in understanding human communication. Throughout life, people enter into various kinds of relationships, which are based on their interaction with each other. Relationship essays explore different kinds of relationships: professional, romantic, family, friendly, trade, political, and so on – they are countless. Interpersonal relationships are a basis for most human activities. They are built and strongly dependent on communication. Essays on relationship point out that in order for any relationships to be successful and fruitful, people must be honest, respectful, caring, and supportive to one another. Look through relationship essay samples below. We made an effort to compose highly informative and interesting essay samples for you to read so your essays could be even better.

Marriage divorces have been the current issue in our modern society. Due to the recurring incidences of marriage breakups, these problems are slowly taking root in our communities and seen as right. However, divorces are not usually the best solution to marital conflicts. I believe that there is always an...

4.1 Introduction Technological advances in mobile communication devices and breakthrough in dating apps, virtual communities have emerged, characterized by increased socialization in a virtual society. Dating in contemporary societies is only a swipe away. Studies indicate that at least 1 in 10 Americans use online dating services (Alhabash, Hales, Baek...

Words: 4800

An interpersonal relationship can be described as an emotional/romantic partnership between two individuals. Interpersonal relationships can bring out positive emotions and feelings of togetherness in people. However, people have a habit to forget how important two individuals are to each other in a romantic relationship and may stray from their...

Words: 1918

Generally, human beings understand the term attachment as a form of constant feeling in which one is emotionally sealed to another person or something. Psychologically, the attachment is widely viewed as that feeling of love and the want for someone else or another individual majorly for care and security. In...

Words: 1739

Esther Perel’s TED talk on infidelity was an intriguing and transcendent talk that accurately captured the factors that contribute to affairs in marriages. Case in point, one aspect that Esther expounded upon as the provocative factor to engage in an affair, is the desire to be happy (Perel). In today’s...

Society construct on the issue of marriages are strict and enshrined in religious, political and demographic foundations. According to Christianity, marriage is divine and is only between a man and a woman as God created Eve to be a helper to Adam (Gen 2:18, NIV). Sex is the most sacred...

Words: 2122

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The style of attachment affects everything from the way we develop a relationship with our partners to how well we select the partners themselves to sadly, how relationships break up. Recognizing the attachment styles and its impacts on love can help us to understand our vulnerabilities and strengths in a...

Generally, human beings understand the term attachment as a form of constant feeling in which one is emotionally sealed to another person or something. Psychologically, the attachment is widely viewed as that feeling of love and the want for someone else or another individual majorly for care and security. For...

Social theory is an analytical framework used for the examination of social phenomena and interactions (Murphy, (2016). Therefore, the theory seeks to explain the behavior of people and societies that tend to initiate closeness. Gender, ethnicity, cultural power and social behavior are some of the primary elements that impact social...

Marriage: Marriage is a socially accepted joining of two people that establishes obligations and expectations or rights between the spouses (Allen & Jaramillo-Sierra 2015). It is a union sanctioned by society, traditionally between a man and a woman. Marriage operates based on customs, rules, and laws, with accompanying attitudes and beliefs...

Words: 1608

Background Our interviewee is Lauren Tian who was born in Russia and has been raised in Vietnam. Her father is Vietnamese, and her mother is from Russia. Lauren was born on 1 April 1999 in Russia. Despite the fact that Lauren has a normal appearance, she is unlike other children because...

Words: 1023

Friendship is a fundamental aspect in the contemporary world, especially due to the fact that no one can manage to live by himself or herself. With genuine friends, an individual manages to overcome some of the life obstacles that usually hit when they are least expected. As sages put it,...

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My wife isn't 'just' a stepmom to my son. He sees her as his other mom.

• My wife has been in my son's life since he was 6 years old.
• She has taken on a parental role, stepping in whenever I need extra help.
• Even though she's his stepmom, my son considers her his other mom.

After Vice President Kamala Harris announced she was running for president, one criticism lobbed against her was that she is not a parent because she has never given birth to children. But she is the stepmother to her husband Doug Emhoff's two children.

Like Harris, my wife is a stepmother to my son.

I am no longer in a relationship with his father and have been in a new relationship for four years. My wife came into my son's life when he was 6 years old and quickly stepped into a parental role. It was a role she enthusiastically took on.

Although she didn't give birth to my son, my wife is absolutely his second mother.

My son and wife's relationship started friendly

My wife didn't immediately take an authoritative role or force him to treat her like a parent. At first, she was more like a grown-up friend — someone he knew he needed to respect, but someone who would take him on drives to get ice cream or let him pretend to drive her car while I was inside the grocery store.

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I was worried about parenting with another person all the time. As the primary parent, I wasn't used to dividing parenting duties . My wife was aware of that and always deferred to me as the primary parent.

But the bond between my son and my wife was instant. He had never met someone I was dating before, but he liked her immediately.

My wife has taken on more responsibility as a stepmom

Over the last four years, she's taken on more parental responsibility but never tried to act like she was more of a parent than myself or my son's father. She is a bonus mom, someone there to kiss him goodnight , help him with his homework, and love him unconditionally.

During the pandemic, my wife volunteered to take the lead in helping my son with virtual school so I could focus on work. She created a schedule for him, made him lunch, and ensured he kept up with assignments. When the playgrounds opened, she would take him to play, armed with a backpack full of whatever was needed.

I have gone on several overnight trips , leaving the two of them alone together. My son doesn't even call or text me when I'm gone because he's having so much fun hanging out with my wife. I never have to worry about him; I know my wife will make sure he takes a bath and goes to bed on time.

There are days when I will ask her to tag in and do the bedtime routine because I'm working or want a break, and she does it without question. My son knows that if he needs something, he doesn't have to come to me all the time.

Seeing my wife willingly step into a parental role with my son has strengthened our relationship. I knew I loved her almost immediately after we met, but seeing how my son responded to her made me more secure in my decision.

Sometimes, she still refers to him as mine, and I always remind her that she's his mom, too. We do everything as a team: school meetings, performances, birthday parties . Everyone knows us as his two moms, and there's no one else I could imagine doing this with.

My son now sees my wife as the missing piece to our family puzzle. He proudly claims her as his other mom.

"You're my mom too," my son will say when my wife calls herself his stepmom. He made that decision. My wife never wanted to force a close relationship on him, but he pushed for it.

Media has warped the perception of stepmoms

Popular media depictions of stepmoms are largely negative. The common trope is that they're evil.

For example, you have characters like Meredith Blake in the Lindsay Lohan version of "The Parent Trap," the Baroness von Schraeder in " The Sound of Music ," and, of course, the prototype: Cinderella's Evil Stepmother.

These women are always seen as temptresses who come in and seduce the father into marrying them before revealing they intend to get rid of his daughter so that she will be the only woman in his life.

Maybe there are stepmoms out there who fit this description, but by and large, stepmoms are there to be whoever their step kids want them to be.

I know that's exactly the role my wife plays, and my son and I are all the more lucky for it.

Watch: Why one mother fled Texas to keep her child safe

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Tensions are on a knife edge after israel carried out a strike on the hezbollah leader allegedly behind an attack in the golan heights..

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Over the past few days, the simmering feud between Israel and the Lebanese militia Hezbollah, has reached a critical moment.

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Ben Hubbard , the Istanbul bureau chief for The New York Times.

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Israel says it killed a Hezbollah commander , Fuad Shukr, in an airstrike near Beirut.

The Israeli military blamed Mr. Shukr for an assault on Saturday that killed 12 children and teenagers in the Israeli-controlled Golan Heights.

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