essay about dangerous love

• Relationships

10 Reasons Why Romantic Love Can Be So Dangerous

Part 1: regardless of your age, romantic love activates your inner adolescent..

Posted August 11, 2021 | Reviewed by Lybi Ma

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• Love should involve emotion and reason; but regrettably, your rational faculties can be swept away by powerful amorous feelings.
• By too readily trusting your beloved, should the relationship end badly, placing so much confidence in them can come back to haunt you.
• Distracted by the thrilling “high” of courtship, women may give up or postpone their pre-romantic plans, which they may later regret.
• If you marry your beloved, you’ll soon realize they were never as “special” as—in your dreamy-eyed “love-sightedness”—you believed they were.

Romantic love is typically the most exciting experience you’ll ever have. What could be more thrilling, more gratifying, or (in endorphin production) more chemically rewarding? Still, many dangers link to this love. It frequently culminates in disappointment, hurt, regret, or—at its worst—despair. Here are 10 examples of its negative potential:

1. By altering your consciousness, love can lead you to feel, and act, off-balance. The descriptive phrases “ falling in love” or “ head over heels in love” testify to how easily this euphoric state can “trip you up.” It can make you behave “lopsidedly” to situations that realistically hardly warrant such a reaction.

The expression, “love is blind,” additionally alludes to not being able to see straight, indicating a myopic vision prompting you to ignore details that could be crucial.

2. When powerful feelings about your beloved not only dim your clear-sightedness but also what your friends and relatives may be telling you, the chances of making a beguiled mistake increase further. Others may be much more aware of critical warning signs that, amorously (or stubbornly) viewing your partner through a heavily biased, favorable filter, cause you to discount or dismiss their concerns.

3. There’s a strangely involuntary, uncontrollable aspect to romantic love. With a diminished ability to think logically about what’s happening to you, you may not be able to grasp the irrational dynamics of your inordinate passion. And regrettably, this emotionally or lustfully charged attraction might well oppose your (no-longer-accessible) better judgment and not at all reflect your basic values.

4. It could be that when you speak to, or even think about, the person you’re in love with, you feel tense, uneasy, and nervous—even when there’s no one on earth you’d rather be with. And, however ironic, it’s well known that “highs” can produce as much stress as “lows.”

5. Your ability to think lucidly is compromised when you’re full of romantic feelings. Ideally, love should involve emotion and reason, the two coming together in a manner that makes rational sense. But your rational faculties can be swept away when amorous feelings take you over.

6. It can threaten, or undermine, your integrity. If your self-acceptance is limited, inflicted with notions (real or not) of not being good enough, you’ll hide from your partner whatever qualities you associate with personal weakness or inadequacy. Unwilling to risk criticism or rejection, you’ll edit your behavior accordingly, only letting yourself be known to the degree it feels relationally safe.

But risk-reducing stratagems can’t be maintained indefinitely. If the relationship becomes longer-term, your actual (vs. imagined) deficits will become increasingly evident, jeopardizing the relationship.

7. Trusting someone is never without danger. In romantic love, when you’re over -confident about your partner’s unconditional acceptance, you’ll likely bare your soul to them, taking risks you probably wouldn’t take with anybody else. By all-too-readily extending such trust, should the relationship end badly your prematurely placing so much confidence in them can come back to haunt you.

8. Closely related to the above is that if the relationship is cut short, you’ll likely become more cynical. And although this increased skepticism may protect you from dashing headlong into another misguided relationship, researchers have connected a suspicious attitude to a shorter lifespan, and less happiness generally. Furthermore, because trusting others represents a fundamental human need, what you presumably learned from your intensely painful disillusionment can make it much harder to trust a prospective mate going forward.

9. In a romantic relationship , it’s normal to become preoccupied with your love object. Your hopes, dreams , and fears can be so absorbing that you may not be able to adequately attend to other responsibilities and commitments—like your studies, vocation, and other important relationships and pursuits. But disregarding what remains key to your personal and professional welfare is perilous, it can lead you to fail a course, get fired from your job, and so on.

It cannot be emphasized enough that romantic interests ought to be balanced by (non- narcissistic ) self-interests. Nonetheless, that can be a real challenge if you’re not sufficiently secure about being the other’s equal.

10. As pertains specifically to single women, Bella DePaulo, referring to several studies on the subject, reports that the career aspirations of many women end up taking a backseat to an all-consuming romantic relationship. Seduced by the extraordinary high experienced during courtship, they may give up or postpone pre-romantic plans. And later they may come to regret the "all for love" mentality that so distracted them from what earlier had been their foremost priority.

Doubtless, from your own experience of being in love you can think of more reasons to be cautious about its consequent thoughts and feelings, which can negatively affect your better judgment. My next post will list an additional 10 reasons. But right now you might want to add to the present list, to see how many of them dovetail with my upcoming post.

© 2021 Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved.

Capulet, S. (2019, Feb 11). Why We’re Obsessed With Romantic Love and Why It’s Dangerous. https://thoughtcatalog.com/sarah-capulet/2019/02/why-were-obsessed-with…

DePaulo, B. ( 2018, Nov 7). In Love With Romantic Love? That Comes With Risks. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/201811/in-love-ro…

Foy, K. (2017, Oct 6), 6 Things That Seem Really Romantic in Your Relationship, But Are Actually Dangerous. https://www.alliant.edu/blog/dangerous-disease-love

How Romanticism Ruined Love (n.a. & n.d.) https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/how-romanticism-ruined-lo…

Langrial, D. (2020, Nov 6). Being Romantic Is the Most Dangerous Thing a Man or Woman Can Do. https://medium.com/illumination/being-romantic-is-the-most-dangerous-th…

Raypole, C. (2020, Aug 5). 15 Ways Love Affects Your Brain and Body. https://www.healthline.com/health/relationships/effects-of-love

Seltzer, L. F. (2013, Jun 21). How Rational Are “Rational” Marriages? https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolution-the-self/201306/how-r…

Seltzer, L. F. (2017, Sept 1). 15 Reasons to Be Wary About Falling in Love. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolution-the-self/201709/15-re…

Seltzer, L. F. (2021, Aug 12). 10 More Reasons Why Romantic Love Can Be So Dangerous. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/node/1165305/preview

Shorr, L. (2021, Apr 20). It Must Be Love on the Brain: The Neuroscience of Love. http://www.stitchfashion.com/home//love-on-the-brain

Villasenor, C. (n.d.). The Dangerous Disease that is Love. https://www.alliant.edu/blog/dangerous-disease-love

Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D. , is the author of Paradoxical Strategies in Psychotherapy and The Vision of Melville and Conrad . He holds doctorates in English and Psychology. As of mid-July 2024, Dr. Seltzer has published some 590 posts, which have received over 54 million views.

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Tainted love

Love is both a wonderful thing and a cunning evolutionary trick to control us. a dangerous cocktail in the wrong hands.

by Anna Machin   + BIO

We can all agree that, on balance, and taking everything into account, love is a wonderful thing. For many, it is the point of life. I have spent more than a decade researching the science behind human love and, rather than becoming immune to its charms, I am increasingly in awe of its complexity and its importance to us. It infiltrates every fibre of our being and every aspect of our daily lives. It is the most important factor in our mental and physical health, our longevity and our life satisfaction. And regardless of who the object of our love is – lover or friend, dog or god – these effects are largely underpinned, in the first instance, by the set of addictive neurochemicals supporting the bonds we create: oxytocin, dopamine, beta-endorphin and serotonin.

This suite of chemicals makes us feel euphoric and calm, they draw us towards those we love, and reward us for investing in our relationships, even when the going gets tough. Love feels wonderful but ultimately it is a form of biological bribery, a cunning evolutionary trick to make sure we cooperate and those all-important genes continue down the generations. The joy it brings is wonderful but is merely a side-effect. Its goal is to ensure our survival, and for this reason happiness is not always its end point. Alongside its joys, there exists a dark side.

Love is ultimately about control. It’s about using chemical bribery to make sure we stick around, cooperate and invest in each other, and particularly in the survival-critical relationships we have with our lovers, children and close friends. This is an evolutionary control of which we are hardly aware, and it brings many positive benefits.

But the addictive nature of these chemicals, and our visceral need for them, means that love also has a dark side. It can be used as a tool of exploitation, manipulation and abuse. Indeed, in part what may separate human love from the love experienced by other animals is that we can use love to manipulate and control others. Our desire to believe in the fairy tale means we rarely acknowledge the undercurrents but, as a scholar of love, I would be negligent if I did not consider it. Arguably our greatest and most intense life experience can be used against us, sometimes leading us to continue relationships with negative consequences in direct opposition to our survival.

We are all experts in love. The science I write about is always grounded in the lived experience of my subjects whose thoughts I collect as keenly as their empirical data. It might be the voice of the new father as he describes holding his firstborn, or the Catholic nun explaining how she works to maintain her relationship with God, or the aromantic detailing what it’s like living in a world apparently obsessed with the romantic love that they do not feel. I begin every interview in the same way, by asking what they think love is. Their answers are often surprising, always illuminating and invariably positive, and remind me that not all the answers to what love is can be found on the scanner screen or in the lab. But I will also ask them to consider whether love can ever be negative. The vast majority say no for, if love has a darker side, it is not love, and this is an interesting point to contemplate. But if they do acknowledge the possibility of love having a less sunny side, their go-to example is jealousy.

J ealousy is an emotion and, as with all emotions, it evolved to protect us, to alert us to a potential benefit or threat. It works its magic at three levels: the emotional, the cognitive and the behavioural. Physiology also throws its hat into the ring making you feel nauseous, faint or flushed. When we feel jealousy , it is generally urging us to do one of three things: to cut off the rival, to prevent our partner’s defection by redoubling our efforts, or to cut our losses and leave the relationship. All have evolved to make sure we balance the costs and benefits of the relationship. Investing time, energy and reproductive effort in the wrong partner is seriously damaging to your reproductive legacy and chances of survival. But what do we perceive to be a jealousy-inducing threat? The answer very much depends on your gender.

Men and women experience jealousy with the same intensity. However, there is a stark difference when it comes to what causes each to be jealous. One of the pioneers of human mating research is the American evolutionary psychologist David Buss and, in his book The Evolution of Desire (1994), he details numerous experiments that have highlighted this gender difference. In one study, in which subjects were asked to read different scenarios detailing incidences of sexual and emotional infidelity, 83 per cent of women found the emotional scenario the most jealousy-inducing, whereas only 40 per cent of men found this to be of concern. In contrast, 60 per cent of men found sexual infidelity difficult to deal with, compared with a significantly smaller percentage of women: 17 per cent.

Men also feel a much more extreme physiological response to sexual infidelity than women do. Hooking them up to monitors that measure skin conductance, muscle contraction and heartrate shows that men experience significant increases in heartrate, sweating and frowning when confronted with sexual infidelity, but the monitor readouts hardly flicker if their partner has become emotionally involved with a rival.

The reason for this difference sits with the different resources that men and women bring to the mating game. Broadly, men bring their resources and protection; women bring their womb. If a woman is sexually unfaithful and becomes pregnant with another man’s child, she has withdrawn the opportunity from her partner to father a child with her for at least nine months. Hence, he is the most concerned about sexual infidelity. In contrast, women are more concerned about emotional infidelity because this suggests that, if their partner does make a rival pregnant and becomes emotionally involved with her, his partner risks having to share his protection and resources with another, meaning that her children receive less of the pie.

To understand someone’s emotional needs means you can use that intelligence to control them

Jealousy is an evolved response to threats to our reproductive success and survival – of self, children and genes. In many cases, it is of positive benefit to those who experience it as it shines a light on the threat and enables us to decide what is best. But in some cases, jealousy gets out of hand.

Emotional intelligence sits at the core of healthy relationships. To truly deliver the benefits of the relationship to our partner, we must understand and meet their emotional needs as they must understand and meet ours. But, as with love, this skill has a darker side because to understand someone’s emotional needs presents the possibility that you can use that intelligence to control them. While we may all admit to using this skill for the wrong reasons every now and again – perhaps to get that sofa we desire or the holiday destination we prefer – for some, it is their go-to mechanism where relationships are concerned.

The most adept proponents of this skill are those who possess the Dark Triad of personality traits: Machiavellianism , psychopathy and narcissism . The first relies on using emotional intelligence to manipulate others, the second to toy with other’s feelings, and the third to denigrate others with the aim of glorifying oneself. For these people, characterised by exploitative, manipulative and callous personalities, emotional intelligence is the route to a set of mate-retention behaviours that certainly meet their goals but are less than beneficial to those whom they profess to love. Indeed, research has shown that a relationship with such a person leaves you open to a significantly greater risk that your love will be returned with abuse.

In 2018, the psychologist Razieh Chegeni and her team set out to explore whether a link existed between the Dark Triad and relationship abuse. Participants were identified as having the Dark Triad personality by expressing their degree of agreement with statements such as ‘I tend to want others to admire me’ (narcissism), ‘I tend to be unconcerned with the morality of my actions’ (psychopathy) and ‘I tend to exploit others to my own end’ (Machiavellianism). They then had to indicate to what extent they used a range of mate-retention behaviours, including ‘snooped through my partner’s personal belongings’, ‘talked to another man/woman at a party to make my partner jealous’, ‘bought my partner an expensive gift’ and ‘slapped a man who made a pass at my partner’.

The results were clear. Having a Dark Triad personality, whether you were a man or a woman, significantly increased the likelihood that ‘cost-inflicting mate-retention behaviours’ were your go-to mechanism when trying to retain your partner. These are behaviours that level an emotional, physical, practical and/or psychological cost on the partner such as physical or emotional abuse, coercive control or controlling access to food or money. Interestingly, however, these individuals did not employ this tactic all the time. There was nuance in their behaviour. Costly behaviours were peppered with rare incidences of gift giving or caretaking, so-called beneficial mate-retention behaviours. Why? Because the unpredictability of their behaviour caused psychological destabilisation in their partner and enabled them to assert further control through a practice we now identify as gaslighting .

The question remains – if these people are so destructive, why does their personality type persist in our population? Because, while their behaviour may harm those who are unfortunate enough to be close to them, they themselves must gain some survival advantage, which means that their traits persist in the population. It is true that no trait can be said to be 100 per cent beneficial, and here is a perfect example of where evolution is truly working at cross purposes.

N ot all Dark Triad personalities are abusers but the presence of abuse within our closest relationships is a very real phenomenon, the understanding of which continues to evolve and grow. Whereas we might have once imagined an abuser as someone who controlled their partner with their fists, we are now aware that abuse comes in many guises including emotional, psychological, reproductive and financial.

The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) questioned both men and women in the United States about the incidences of domestic violence they had experienced in their lifetime. Looking at severe physical abuse alone – which means being punched, slammed, kicked, burned, choked, beaten or attacked with a weapon – one in five women and one in seven men reported at least one incidence in their lifetime. If we consider emotional abuse, then the statistics for men and women are closer – more than 43 million women and 38 million men have experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

It is hard to imagine that, having experienced such a litany of abuse, anyone could believe that love remained within their relationship. But here the power of the lived experience, of allowing everyone to have their ideas about love becomes clearer. Because, while we have many scientific tools to explore love objectively, at the end of the day, there is always an element of our experience of love that is subjective, that another cannot touch. This is no more powerfully evidenced than by the testimony of those who have experienced intimate partner violence. In 2013, three mental health nurses, led by Marilyn Smith in West Virginia, explored what love meant to 19 women who were experiencing, or had experienced, intimate partner violence. For them, this kind of abuse included, but was not limited to, ‘slapping, intimidation, shaming, forced intercourse, isolation, monitoring behaviours, restricting access to healthcare, opposing or interfering with school or employment, and making decisions concerning contraception, pregnancy, and elective abortion’.

Our cultural ideas of romantic love have a role to play in trapping women in abusive relationships

It was clear from the transcripts that all the women knew what love wasn’t: being hurt and fearful, being controlled and having a lack of trust and a lack of support or concern for their welfare. And it was clear that they all knew what love should be: built on a foundation of respect and understanding, of support and encouragement, of commitment, loyalty and trust. But despite this clear understanding of the stark difference between the ideal and their reality, many of these women still believed that love existed within their relationship. Some hoped the power of their love would change the behaviour of their partner, others said their sense of attachment made them stay. Some feared losing love, however flawed; and, if they left, might they not land in a relationship where their treatment was even worse? A lot of the time, cultural messaging had reinforced strongly held beliefs about the supremacy of the nuclear family, making victims reluctant to leave in case they ultimately harmed their children’s life chances. While it can be hard to understand these arguments – surely a non-nuclear setup is preferable to the harm inflicted on a child by the observation of intimate partner abuse – I strongly believe that this population has as much right to their definition and experience of love as any of us.

In fact, the cultural messages we hear about romantic love – from the media, religion, parents and family – not only potentially trap us in ‘ideal’ family units: they may also play a role in our susceptibility to experiencing intimate partner abuse. This view of reproductive love, once confined to Western culture, is now the predominant narrative globally. From a young age, we speak of ‘the one’, we consume stories of young people finding love against all the odds, of sacrifice, of being consumed. It is arguable that these narratives are unhelpful generally as the reality, while wonderful, is considerably more complex, involving light and shade. But research has shown that these stories may have more significant consequences when we consider their role in intimate partner abuse.

South Africa has one of the highest rates of partner abuse against women in the world. In their 2017 paper , Shakila Singh and Thembeka Myende explored the role of resilience in female students at risk of abuse, which is prevalent at a high rate on South African university campuses. Their paper ranges widely over the role of resilience in resisting and surviving partner abuse, but what is of interest to me is the 15 women’s ideas about how our cultural ideas of romantic love have a role to play in trapping women in abusive relationships. These women’s arguments are powerful and made me rethink the fairy-tale. Singh and Myende point to the romantic idea that love overcomes all obstacles and must be maintained at all costs, even when abuse makes these costs life-threateningly high. Or the idea that love is about losing control, being swept off your feet, having no say in who you fall for, even if they turn out to be an abuser. Or that lovers protect each other, fight for each other to the end, even if the person who is being protected, usually from the authorities, is violent or coercive. Or the belief that love is blind and we are incapable of seeing our partner’s faults, despite them often being glaringly obvious to anyone outside the relationship.

It is these cultural ideas about romantic love, the women argue, that lead to the erosion of a woman’s power to leave or entirely avoid an abusive partner. Add these ideas to the powerful physiological and psychological need we have for love, and you leave an open goal for the abuser.

L ove is the focus of so much science, philosophy and literary rumination because we struggle to define it, to predict its next move. Thanks to our biology and the reproductive mandate of evolution, love has long controlled us. But what if we could control love?

What if a magic potion existed that could induce us, or another, to fall in love or even wipe away the memories of a failed relationship? It is a quest as ancient as the first writings 5,000 years ago and the focus of many literary endeavours, including Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream – who can forget Titania’s love for the ass-headed Bottom – and Wagner’s opera Tristan and Isolde . Even in a world where science has largely usurped magic, type ‘love potions’ into Google and the first two questions are: ‘How do you make a love potion?’ and ‘Do love potions actually work?’

But today we know enough about the chemistry of love for the elixir to be within our grasp. And we don’t have to look very far for our first candidate: synthetic oxytocin, used right now as an induction drug in labour. We know from extensive research in social neuroscience that artificial oxytocin also increases prosociality, trust and cooperation. Squirt it up the nose of new parents and it increases positive parenting behaviours. Oxytocin, as released by the brain when we are attracted to someone, is vital for the first stages of love because it quiets the fear centre of your brain and lowers your inhibitions to forming new relationships. Would a squirt up the nose do the same before you head out on a Saturday night?

The other possibility is MDMA or ecstasy, which mimics the neurochemical of long-term love, beta-endorphin. Recreational users of ecstasy report that it makes them feel boundless love for their fellow clubbers and increases their empathy. Researchers in the US have reported encouraging results when MDMA was used in marriage therapy to increase empathy, allowing participants to gain further insight into each other’s needs and find common ground.

Love drugs could end up being yet another form of abuse

Both of these sound like promising candidates but there are still issues to iron out and ethical discussions to have. How effective they are is highly context dependent. Based on their genetics , some people do exactly what is predicted of them. Boundaries are lowered and love sensations abound. But for a significant minority, particularly when it comes to oxytocin, people do exactly the opposite of what we would expect. For some, a dose of oxytocin, while increasing bonds with those they perceive to be in their in-group, increases feelings of ethnocentrism – racism – toward the out-group.

MDMA has other issues . For some people, it simply does not work. But the bigger problem is that the effects endure only while usage continues; anecdotal evidence suggests that, if you stop, the feelings of love and empathy disappear. This raises questions of practicality and ethical issues surrounding power imbalance. If you commenced a relationship while taking MDMA, would you have to continue? What if you were in a relationship with someone who had taken MDMA and you didn’t know? What would happen if they stopped? And could someone be induced to take MDMA against their will?

The ethical conversation around love drugs is complex. On one side are those who argue that taking a love drug is no more controversial than an antidepressant. Both alter your brain chemistry and, given the strong relationship between love and good mental and physical health, surely it is important that we use all the tools at our disposal to help people succeed? But maybe an anecdote from the book Love Is the Drug (2020) by Brian Earp and Julian Savulescu will give you pause. They describe SSRI prescriptions used to suppress the sexual urges of young male yeshiva students, to ensure that they comply with Jewish orthodox religious law – no sex before marriage, and definitely no homosexuality.

Could such drugs gain wider traction in repressive regimes as a weapon against what some perceive to be immoral forms of love? Remember that 71 countries still deem homosexuality to be illegal. It is not a massive leap of imagination to envisage the use of SSRIs to ‘cure’ people of this ‘affliction’. We only have to look at the continued existence of conversion therapy to see that this is a distinct possibility. Love drugs could end up being yet another form of abuse over which the individual has very little control.

Evolution saw fit to give us love to ensure we would continue to form and maintain the cooperative relationships that are our route to personal and, most crucially, genetic survival. It can be the source of euphoric happiness, calm contentment and much-needed security, but this is not its point. Love is merely the sweet treat handed to you by your babysitter to make sure the goal is achieved. Combine the ultimate evolutionary aim of love with our visceral need for it and the quick intelligence of our brains, and you have the recipe for a darker side to emerge. Some of this darker side is adaptive but, for those who experience it, it rarely ends well. At the very least there is pain – physical, psychological, financial – and, at the most, there is death, and the grief of those we leave behind.

Maybe it is time to rewrite the stories we tell ourselves about love because the danger on the horizon is not the dragon that needs to be slain by the knight to save the beautiful princess but the presence of some who mean to use its powers for their gain and our considerable loss. Like all of us, love is a complex beast: only by embracing it in its entirety do we truly understand it, and ourselves. And this means understanding its evolutionary story, the good and the bad.

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Romeo and Juliet: The Tragedy of Forbidden Love

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Published: Mar 6, 2024

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Table of contents

Introduction, the power of love, the role of fate, the tragic flaw, the role of society.

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Dangerous Love

A reworking of an earlier book titled The Landscapes Within , Dangerous Love (1996) is a novel by Ben Okri, the first Black author to win the Booker Prize for Fiction in 1991 with The Famished Road .

Set in Lagos, Nigeria, during the 1970s, Dangerous Love follows the story of Omovo, a young man who finds himself trapped in a life that is anything but easy: his mother is dead and his brothers escaped a home controlled by a recently remarried, violent and disillusioned father. The only things that are keeping Omovo together are his two sources of love: the art of painting and Ifeyiwa, a beautiful woman who, despite reciprocating his feelings, is already married to a man she was forced to accept as her husband. Art and love are the two biggest forces in Omovo’s life, sources of light in a world that is still fighting against the ghosts of the past and the heavy burden of all the lives lost during the Biafran Civil War.

Art plays such a relevant role within the novel that Dangerous Love could be considered, more than a Bildungsroman , as a Künstlerroman : the term refers to the artist’s growth into maturity, both from the perspective of his artistic productions and of his understanding of Art as a tool of liberation for society at large. At the beginning of the novel, painting is an unconscious act for Omovo, a relief and an escape from the pain of reality, but one that does not hold a real purpose. After a painful process of personal growth, however, Omovo will come to conceive of Art not only as an individual act of emancipation but also as a form of resistance against a corrupted society that still has not atoned for the fathers’ faults. The Nigeria described by Okri is a country that has been destroyed by years of colonialism and civil war, a country that seems incapable of finding its identity again.

In this sense, the novel also explores the conflictual gap between generations: on the one side, there is the old generation of Omovo’s father that has been humiliated and exploited throughout decades of colonial rule; on the other side, there is the new generation Omovo belongs to, the one that will be the future of Nigeria. However, the youths find themselves trapped in a limbo of cultural ambivalence and mimicry, hating their white oppressors while at the same time desiring to be part of Western society, blinded by wealth and promises.

As above mentioned, the novel is also the story of the love between Omovo and Ifeyiwa: what first started as an innocent friendship, soon turns into a dangerous passion. A dangerous love, as the title recites, because of the violent antagonism of Ifeyiwa’s husband, but also because love can be a force that takes control of our lives, making us forget and sacrifice our own selves. Dangerous Love is also a bit of a choral novel, constellated by various characters whose different stories all have one thing in common: a desire for redemption from a past that still seems to command the present. A story about an individual Bildung that translates into a nation’s collective attempt at salvation. And a story about the power of love and art as tools for the construction of a cultural identity finally liberated from the ghosts of past tragedies.

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• Published: 07 January 2009

Being Human

Love: Neuroscience reveals all

• Larry J Young 1  

Nature volume  457 ,  page 148 ( 2009 ) Cite this article

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Poetry it is not. Nor is it particularly romantic. But reducing love to its component parts helps us to understand human sexuality, and may lead to drugs that enhance or diminish our love for another, says Larry J. Young.

In his Love's Trinity , the Victorian poet laureate Alfred Austin sums up the holistic view of love that has long held sway:

Soul, heart, and body, we thus singly name,

Are not in love divisible and distinct,

But each with each inseparably link'd.

Now researchers are attempting to isolate and identify the neural and genetic components underlying this seemingly uniquely human emotion. Indeed, biologists may soon be able to reduce certain mental states associated with love to a biochemical chain of events. This has implications for the evolution of human sexuality, and raises important societal issues given our increasing use of genetic tests to screen for certain behaviours, and of drugs to modulate mental processes.

Animal models have greatly aided our understanding of the mechanisms that regulate emotions — particularly for evolutionarily conserved states such as fear and anxiety. These advances have led to pharmaceutical therapies for anxiety, phobias and post-traumatic stress disorders. Such models are also beginning to shed light on love.

We are not alone in being able to form intense and enduring social ties. Take the mother–infant bond. Whether or not the emotional connection between a ewe and her lamb, or a female macaque and her offspring, is qualitatively similar to human motherly love, it is highly likely that these relationships share evolutionarily conserved brain mechanisms. In humans, rats and sheep, the hormone oxytocin is released during labour, delivery and nursing. In ewes, an infusion of oxytocin into the brain results in rapid bonding with a foreign lamb.

Long-term bonding between mates is rare in mammals. It may be regulated by the same brain mechanisms as those involved in maternal bonding. For instance, pair bonding in the female monogamous prairie vole is stimulated by oxytocin released in the brain during mating. A female prairie vole rapidly becomes attached to the nearest male if her brain is infused with oxytocin. The hormone interacts with the reward and reinforcement system driven by the neurotransmitter dopamine — the same circuitry that drugs such as nicotine, cocaine and heroine act on in humans to produce euphoria and addiction.

There is intriguing overlap between the brain areas involved in vole pair bonding and those associated with human love. Dopamine-related reward regions of the human brain are active in mothers viewing images of their child. Similar activation patterns are seen in people looking at photographs of their lovers.

The notion that pair bonding in humans may have evolved through a tweaking of the brain mechanisms underlying maternal bonding could explain certain unique characteristics of human sexuality. For example, female sexual desire may have become decoupled from fertility, and the female breast may have become an erotic stimulus for males, to activate ancient maternal-bonding systems. The stimulation of the cervix and nipples during sexual intimacy are potent releasers of brain oxytocin, and may function to strengthen the emotional tie between partners.

Pair bonding in males involves similar brain circuitry to that in females, but different neurochemical pathways. In male prairie voles, for example, vasopressin — a hormone related to oxytocin — stimulates pair bonding, aggression towards potential rivals, and paternal instincts, such as grooming offspring in the nest. Variation in a regulatory region of the vasopressin receptor gene, avpr1a , predicts the likelihood that a male vole will bond with a female.

Similarly, in humans, different forms of the AVPR1A gene are associated with variation in pair bonding and relationship quality. A recent study shows that men with a particular AVPR1A variant are twice as likely as men without it to remain unmarried, or when married, twice as likely to report a recent crisis in their marriage. Spouses of men with the variant also express more dissatisfaction in their relationships than do those of men lacking it. For both voles and humans, AVPR1A genetic polymorphisms predict how much vasopressin receptor is expressed in the brain.

The view of love as an emergent property of a cocktail of ancient neuropeptides and neurotransmitters raises important issues for society. For one thing, drugs that manipulate brain systems at whim to enhance or diminish our love for another may not be far away. Experiments have shown that a nasal squirt of oxytocin enhances trust and tunes people into others' emotions. Internet entrepreneurs are already marketing products such as Enhanced Liquid Trust, a cologne-like mixture of oxytocin and pheromones “designed to boost the dating and relationship area of your life”. Although such products are unlikely to do anything other than boost users' confidence, studies are under way in Australia to determine whether an oxytocin spray might aid traditional marital therapy.

We don't yet know whether the drugs commonly used to treat disorders from depression to sexual dysfunction affect people's relationships by altering neurochemistry. But both Prozac and Viagra influence the oxytocin system. The quality of patients' relationships should be included in the list of variables assessed in controlled psychiatric drug studies.

The possibility that genetic variation may influence the quality of our romantic relationships also has intriguing implications. Perhaps genetic tests for the suitability of potential partners will one day become available, the results of which could accompany, and even override, our gut instincts in selecting the perfect partner. Either way, recent advances in the biology of pair bonding mean it won't be long before an unscrupulous suitor could slip a pharmaceutical 'love potion' in our drink. And if they did, would we care? After all, love is insanity.

Further Reading

Walum, H. et al. Proc. Natl Acad. Sci. 105 , 14153–14156 (2008).

Article   CAS   Google Scholar  

Young, L. J. & Wang, Z. Nature Neurosci. 7 , 1048–1054 (2004).

Zeki, S. FEBS Lett. 581 , 2575–2579 (2007).

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Larry Young is at 954 Gatewood Road, Yerkes National Primate Research Center, Emory University, Atlanta, Georgia 30322, USA. [email protected] ,

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Romeo and Juliet

William shakespeare, ask litcharts ai: the answer to your questions.

“These violent delights have violent ends,” says Friar Laurence in an attempt to warn Romeo , early on in the play, of the dangers of falling in love too hard or too fast. In the world of Romeo and Juliet , love is not pretty or idealized—it is chaotic and dangerous. Throughout the play, love is connected through word and action with violence, and Romeo and Juliet ’s deepest mutual expression of love occurs when the “star-crossed lovers take their life.” By connecting love with pain and ultimately with suicide, Shakespeare suggests that there is an inherent sense of violence in many of the physical and emotional facets of expressing love—a chaotic and complex emotion very different from the serene, idealized sweetness it’s so often portrayed as being.

There are countless instances throughout Romeo and Juliet in which love and violence are connected. After their marriage, Juliet imagines in detail the passion she and Romeo will share on their wedding night, and invokes the Elizabethan characterization of orgasm as a small death or “petite mort”—she looks forward to the moment she will “die” and see Romeo’s face reflected in the stars above her. When Romeo overhears Juliet say that she wishes he were not a Montague so that they could be together, he declares that his name is “hateful” and offers to write it down on a piece of paper just so he can rip it up and obliterate it—and, along with it, his very identity, and sense of self as part of the Montague family. When Juliet finds out that her parents, ignorant of her secret marriage to Romeo, have arranged for her to marry Paris , she goes to Friar Laurence’s chambers with a knife, threatening to kill herself if he is unable to come up with a plan that will allow her to escape her second marriage. All of these examples represent just a fraction of the instances in which language and action conspire to render love as a “violent delight” whose “violent ends” result in danger, injury, and even death. Feeling oneself in the throes of love, Shakespeare suggests, is tumultuous and destabilizing enough—but the real violence of love, he argues, emerges in the many ways of expressing love.

Emotional and verbal expressions of love are the ones most frequently deployed throughout the play. Romeo and Juliet wax poetic about their great love for each other—and the misery they feel as a result of that love—over and over again, and at great lengths. Often, one of their friends or servants must cut them off mid-speech—otherwise, Shakespeare seems to suggest, Romeo and Juliet would spend hours trying to wrestle their feelings into words. Though Romeo and Juliet say lovely things about one another, to be sure, their speeches about each other, or about love more broadly, are almost always tinged with violence, which illustrates their chaotic passion for each other and their desire to mow down anything that stands in its way. When Romeo, for instance, spots Juliet at her window in the famous “balcony scene” in Act 2, Scene 2, he wills her to come closer by whispering, “Arise, fair sun ”—a beautiful metaphor of his love and desire for Juliet—and quickly follows his entreaty with the dangerous language “and kill the envious moon, Who is already sick and pale with grief.” Juliet’s “sun”-like radiance makes Romeo want her to “kill” the moon (or Rosaline ,) his former love and her rival in beauty and glory, so that Juliet can reign supreme over his heart. Later on in the play, when the arrival of dawn brings an end to Romeo and Juliet’s first night together as man and wife, Juliet invokes the symbol of a lark’s song—traditionally a symbol of love and sweetness—as a violent, ill-meaning presence which seeks to pull Romeo and Juliet apart, “arm from arm,” and “hunt” Romeo out of Juliet’s chambers. Romeo calls love a “rough” thing which “pricks” him like a thorn; Juliet says that if she could love and possess Romeo in the way she wants to, as if he were her pet bird, she would “kill [him] with much cherishing.” The way the two young lovers at the heart of the play speak about love shows an enormously violent undercurrent to their emotions—as they attempt to name their feelings and express themselves, they resort to violence-tinged speech to convey the enormity of their emotions.

Physical expressions of love throughout the play also carry violent connotations. From Romeo and Juliet’s first kiss, described by each of them as a “sin” and a “trespass,” to their last, in which Juliet seeks to kill herself by sucking remnants of poison from the dead Romeo’s lips, the way Romeo and Juliet conceive of the physical and sexual aspects of love are inextricable from how they conceive of violence. Juliet looks forward to “dying” in Romeo’s arms—again, one Elizabethan meaning of the phrase “to die” is to orgasm—while Romeo, just after drinking a vial of poison so lethal a few drops could kill 20 men, chooses to kiss Juliet as his dying act. The violence associated with these acts of sensuality and physical touch furthers Shakespeare’s argument that attempts to adequately express the chaotic, overwhelming, and confusing feelings of intense passion often lead to a commingling with violence.

Violent expressions of love are at the heart of Romeo and Juliet . In presenting and interrogating them, Shakespeare shows his audiences—in the Elizabethan area, the present day, and the centuries in-between—that love is not pleasant, reserved, cordial, or sweet. Rather, it is a violent and all-consuming force. As lovers especially those facing obstacles and uncertainties like the ones Romeo and Juliet encounter, struggle to express their love, there may be eruptions of violence both between the lovers themselves and within the communities of which they’re a part.

Love and Violence ThemeTracker

Love and Violence Quotes in Romeo and Juliet

Two households, both alike in dignity, In fair Verona, where we lay our scene, From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean. From forth the fatal loins of these two foes, A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life; Whose misadventured piteous overthrows, Doth with their death bury their parents' strife. The fearful passage of their death-mark'd love, And the continuance of their parents' rage, Which, but their children's end, nought could remove, Is now the two hours' traffic of our stage; The which if you with patient ears attend, What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend.

Why then, O brawling love! O loving hate! O any thing, of nothing first created; O heavy lightness! serious vanity! Mis-shapen chaos of well-seeming forms!

Oh, she doth teach the torches to burn bright! It seems she hangs upon the cheek of night Like a rich jewel in an Ethiope's ear, Beauty too rich for use, for earth too dear. So shows a snowy dove trooping with crows As yonder lady o'er her fellows shows. The measure done, I'll watch her place of stand, And, touching hers, make blessèd my rude hand. Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight! For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night.

You kiss by th’ book.

My only love sprung from my only hate! Too early seen unknown, and known too late!

But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun!

O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name; Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, And I'll no longer be a Capulet.

'Tis but thy name that is my enemy; — Thou art thyself though, not a Montague. What's Montague? It is nor hand, nor foot, Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part Belonging to a man. O, be some other name! What's in a name? That which we call a rose, By any other word would smell as sweet; So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd, Retain that dear perfection which he owes Without that title: — Romeo, doff thy name; And for thy name, which is no part of thee, Take all myself.

I take thee at thy word: Call me but love, and I'll be new baptis'd; Henceforth I never will be Romeo.

O, swear not by the moon, the inconstant moon, That monthly changes in her circled orb, Lest that thy love prove likewise variable.

Good-night, good-night! Parting is such sweet sorrow That I shall say good-night till it be morrow.

Romeo, the hate I bear thee can afford No better term than this: thou art a villain.

Romeo: Courage, man; the hurt cannot be much. Mercutio: No, 'tis not so deep as a well, nor so wide as a church-door; but 'tis enough, 'twill serve: ask for me to-morrow, and you shall find me a grave man.

O, I am fortune's fool!

Come, gentle night, — come, loving black brow'd night, Give me my Romeo; and when he shall die, Take him and cut him out in little stars, And he will make the face of Heaven so fine That all the world will be in love with night, And pay no worship to the garish sun.

Wilt thou be gone? it is not yet near day. It was the nightingale, and not the lark, That pierc'd the fearful hollow of thine ear; Nightly she sings on yond pomegranate tree. Believe me love, it was the nightingale.

Is there no pity sitting in the clouds That sees into the bottom of my grief? O sweet my mother, cast me not away! Delay this marriage for a month, a week, Or if you do not, make the bridal bed In that dim monument where Tybalt lies.

Or bid me go into a new-made grave, And hide me with a dead man in his shroud - Things that, to hear them told, have made me tremble - And I will do it without fear or doubt, To live an unstain'd wife to my sweet love.

Then I defy you, stars!

O true apothecary! Thy drugs are quick. — Thus with a kiss I die.

Yea, noise, then I'll be brief; O, happy dagger! This is thy sheath; there rest, and let me die.

For never was a story of more woe Than this of Juliet and her Romeo.

Lit. Summaries

• Biographies

Exploring the Themes and Symbolism in Ben Okri’s Dangerous Love: A Literary Analysis

Ben Okri’s Dangerous Love is a novel that explores the complexities of love, power, and identity in post-colonial Nigeria. Through the use of vivid imagery and symbolism, Okri delves into the themes of oppression, corruption, and the struggle for freedom. In this literary analysis, we will explore the various themes and symbols in Dangerous Love and how they contribute to the overall message of the novel.

Background Information on Ben Okri

Ben Okri is a Nigerian poet and novelist who was born on March 15, 1959, in Minna, Nigeria. He grew up in Lagos, Nigeria, and attended the University of Essex in England, where he studied comparative literature. Okri’s literary career began in 1978 when he published his first novel, Flowers and Shadows. However, it was his third novel, The Famished Road, that brought him international acclaim and won the Booker Prize in 1991. Okri’s works often explore themes of identity, spirituality, and the human condition. His writing style is characterized by his use of magical realism, a literary technique that blends the fantastical with the real. Okri has been recognized for his contributions to literature with numerous awards, including the Commonwealth Writers’ Prize and the OBE (Order of the British Empire).

Overview of Dangerous Love

Ben Okri’s Dangerous Love is a novel that explores the themes of love, power, and corruption in post-colonial Nigeria. The story follows the lives of two young lovers, Omovo and Ifeyiwa, as they navigate the complexities of their relationship in a society that is rife with political and social unrest. The novel is set against the backdrop of the Nigerian Civil War, which lasted from 1967 to 1970, and the aftermath of the war, which saw the country struggling to rebuild itself. Through the use of vivid imagery and powerful symbolism, Okri paints a picture of a society that is both beautiful and dangerous, where love can be both a source of strength and a source of weakness. Overall, Dangerous Love is a thought-provoking and emotionally charged novel that offers a unique perspective on the complexities of love and power in post-colonial Nigeria.

Love and Betrayal as Central Themes

Love and betrayal are two central themes that run throughout Ben Okri’s Dangerous Love. The novel explores the complexities of human relationships and the ways in which love can both uplift and destroy us. At its core, Dangerous Love is a story about the power of love and the devastating consequences of betrayal. Okri’s masterful use of symbolism and imagery adds depth and nuance to these themes, making for a rich and thought-provoking reading experience. Whether you’re a fan of literary fiction or simply looking for a compelling story, Dangerous Love is a must-read.

The Symbolism of the River

The river is a recurring symbol in Ben Okri’s Dangerous Love, representing both life and death. It is a powerful force that can both sustain and destroy. The river is also a metaphor for the journey of life, with its twists and turns, and the unknown depths that lie beneath the surface. The river is a symbol of the cyclical nature of life, with its constant flow and change. It is a reminder that everything is connected, and that we are all part of a larger, universal rhythm. The river is a symbol of the power of nature, and the importance of respecting and protecting it. It is a reminder that we are not separate from the natural world, but a part of it. The river is a symbol of the human spirit, and the resilience and strength that we possess. It is a reminder that even in the face of adversity, we can find a way to keep moving forward. Overall, the river is a powerful symbol in Dangerous Love, representing the complexities of life and the human experience.

The Significance of Dreams and Visions

Dreams and visions play a significant role in Ben Okri’s Dangerous Love. They serve as a means of communication between the characters and the spiritual realm. The dreams and visions in the novel are not just random occurrences, but they are symbolic and carry deeper meanings. They reveal the characters’ fears, desires, and innermost thoughts.

For instance, the protagonist, Omovo, has a recurring dream of a woman with a scarred face. This dream is symbolic of his fear of rejection and his desire for acceptance. The scarred face represents his fear of being rejected because of his physical appearance. The dream also reveals his desire for acceptance, as he is drawn to the woman despite her scarred face.

Similarly, the visions that the characters experience are not just random occurrences, but they are symbolic of their spiritual journeys. For example, the vision that Ifeyi has of the river goddess is symbolic of her spiritual awakening. The river goddess represents the divine feminine and the power of nature. The vision reveals Ifeyi’s connection to nature and her spiritual journey towards self-discovery.

In conclusion, dreams and visions are significant in Dangerous Love as they reveal the characters’ fears, desires, and innermost thoughts. They also serve as a means of communication between the characters and the spiritual realm. The symbolism in the dreams and visions adds depth to the novel and enhances the reader’s understanding of the characters’ spiritual journeys.

Religious and Spiritual Themes

Ben Okri’s Dangerous Love is a novel that explores various religious and spiritual themes. The protagonist, Omovo, is a young man who is searching for meaning and purpose in his life. He is drawn to the teachings of a religious leader named Brother Ezekiel, who preaches about the power of faith and the importance of living a virtuous life. Omovo is also influenced by his grandmother, who is a devout Christian and believes in the power of prayer.

Throughout the novel, Okri uses religious and spiritual symbolism to convey deeper meanings. For example, the character of Brother Ezekiel is portrayed as a Christ-like figure, who sacrifices himself for the greater good. Similarly, the character of Omovo can be seen as a symbol of the human soul, which is searching for enlightenment and salvation.

Okri also explores the theme of redemption, as Omovo struggles to overcome his past mistakes and find forgiveness. This theme is closely tied to the idea of grace, which is a central concept in many religious traditions. Through his experiences, Omovo learns that redemption is possible, but it requires a willingness to confront one’s own flaws and seek forgiveness.

Overall, the religious and spiritual themes in Dangerous Love add depth and complexity to the novel. They provide a framework for understanding the characters’ motivations and actions, and offer insights into the human condition. Okri’s use of symbolism and metaphor invites readers to reflect on their own beliefs and values, and to consider the role of faith and spirituality in their lives.

The Role of Women in the Novel

In Ben Okri’s Dangerous Love, the role of women is a prominent theme throughout the novel. The female characters in the story are portrayed as strong and independent, yet also vulnerable and oppressed. The main character, Omovo, is surrounded by women who play significant roles in his life, including his mother, sister, and love interest, Ifeyi.

Throughout the novel, Okri explores the societal expectations placed on women in Nigeria, particularly in regards to marriage and motherhood. Ifeyi, for example, is pressured by her family to marry a wealthy man, despite her own desires and feelings for Omovo. Similarly, Omovo’s mother is a single mother who struggles to provide for her family and is judged by others for not having a husband.

Despite these challenges, the women in Dangerous Love are not portrayed as victims. They are strong and resilient, fighting against the constraints placed upon them by society. Ifeyi, for example, defies her family’s expectations and chooses to be with Omovo, even if it means facing the consequences.

Overall, the role of women in Dangerous Love is a complex and nuanced theme that adds depth and richness to the novel. Okri’s portrayal of these female characters challenges traditional gender roles and highlights the strength and resilience of women in the face of adversity.

Exploring the Idea of Fate and Destiny

The concept of fate and destiny is a recurring theme in Ben Okri’s Dangerous Love. The novel explores the idea that our lives are predetermined and that we have little control over our own destinies. The characters in the novel are constantly struggling to come to terms with their fate and to find meaning in their lives.

One of the most striking examples of this theme is the character of Omovo. Omovo is a young artist who is struggling to find his place in the world. He is constantly searching for meaning in his art and in his relationships, but he is unable to find any real sense of purpose. Throughout the novel, Omovo is haunted by the idea that his life is predetermined and that he has no control over his own destiny.

This theme is also reflected in the symbolism used throughout the novel. The recurring image of the river, for example, represents the idea of fate and destiny. The river is a powerful force that is constantly moving forward, and the characters in the novel are swept along by its current. They are unable to resist the river’s pull, and they must learn to navigate its twists and turns in order to survive.

Overall, the theme of fate and destiny is a powerful and thought-provoking element of Ben Okri’s Dangerous Love. The novel challenges readers to consider the role that fate plays in our lives and to question whether or not we truly have control over our own destinies.

The Use of Language and Narrative Techniques

Ben Okri’s Dangerous Love is a literary masterpiece that explores various themes and symbolism. One of the most striking aspects of the novel is the use of language and narrative techniques. Okri’s writing style is poetic and lyrical, which adds to the overall beauty of the novel. The language used in the novel is rich and vivid, which helps to create a vivid picture of the characters and their surroundings. The narrative techniques used by Okri are also noteworthy. The novel is told from the perspective of the protagonist, Omovo, and the reader is taken on a journey through his thoughts and experiences. The use of flashbacks and dream sequences also adds to the complexity of the narrative. Overall, the use of language and narrative techniques in Dangerous Love is a testament to Okri’s skill as a writer and his ability to create a captivating story.

The Role of Tradition and Modernity

In Ben Okri’s Dangerous Love, the themes of tradition and modernity play a significant role in shaping the characters and their experiences. The novel is set in Nigeria during a time of political and social upheaval, where traditional beliefs and customs clash with modern ideas and values. The protagonist, Omovo, is torn between his desire to embrace modernity and his loyalty to his traditional roots. This conflict is further highlighted through his relationship with Ifeyiwa, a modern woman who challenges his beliefs and pushes him to question his traditional values. The novel explores the tension between tradition and modernity and the impact it has on individuals and society as a whole. Okri’s use of symbolism and imagery further emphasizes the importance of this theme, as he portrays the struggle between tradition and modernity as a battle between light and darkness. Ultimately, Dangerous Love highlights the need for a balance between tradition and modernity, as both have their strengths and weaknesses and can coexist harmoniously if approached with an open mind and a willingness to learn from one another.

Racial and Political Themes

Ben Okri’s Dangerous Love is a novel that explores various themes and symbolism, including racial and political themes. The novel is set in Nigeria during the military dictatorship era, and it portrays the struggles of the people during that time. The author uses the characters and events in the novel to highlight the racial and political issues that were prevalent in Nigeria at that time.

One of the main racial themes in the novel is the issue of colorism. The author portrays the discrimination that exists within the black community based on skin color. The character of Ego, who is light-skinned, is treated differently from her dark-skinned sister, Nita. Ego is considered more beautiful and is given more opportunities, while Nita is often overlooked and discriminated against. This theme highlights the issue of colorism that still exists in many African countries today.

The political themes in the novel are also significant. The novel is set during the military dictatorship era in Nigeria, and the author portrays the oppression and corruption that existed during that time. The character of Omovo is a victim of the corrupt system, and he is falsely accused of a crime he did not commit. The author uses this character to highlight the injustice that existed during the military dictatorship era.

In conclusion, Ben Okri’s Dangerous Love is a novel that explores various themes and symbolism, including racial and political themes. The author uses the characters and events in the novel to highlight the issues that were prevalent in Nigeria during the military dictatorship era. The novel is a powerful commentary on the racial and political issues that still exist in many African countries today.

The Importance of Community and Identity

In Ben Okri’s Dangerous Love, the importance of community and identity is a recurring theme that is explored throughout the novel. The protagonist, Omovo, struggles to find his place in society and grapples with his own sense of identity. Through his interactions with various characters and communities, Okri highlights the significance of belonging and the impact it can have on an individual’s sense of self. The novel also delves into the complexities of community dynamics and the power structures that exist within them. Overall, Dangerous Love serves as a poignant reminder of the importance of community and identity in shaping our lives and experiences.

The Role of Power and Corruption

In Ben Okri’s Dangerous Love, power and corruption play a significant role in shaping the lives of the characters. The novel explores how those in positions of power can abuse their authority and manipulate those around them for their own gain. The corrupt practices of the government and the police force are also highlighted, showing how they can be complicit in perpetuating injustice and oppression. Through the character of Mammy, Okri portrays the devastating effects of power and corruption on individuals, as she is forced to make difficult choices in order to survive in a world where those in power hold all the cards. Overall, Dangerous Love serves as a powerful commentary on the dangers of unchecked power and the need for accountability and transparency in all levels of society.

The Significance of Music and Art

Music and art have always played a significant role in human society. They are not just forms of entertainment, but also a means of expressing emotions, thoughts, and ideas. In Ben Okri’s Dangerous Love, music and art are used as powerful symbols to convey the themes of love, identity, and freedom. The protagonist, Omovo, is a talented artist who uses his art to express his innermost feelings and desires. His paintings are a reflection of his soul, and they reveal his struggles with his identity and his search for freedom. Similarly, music is used as a symbol of love and connection between the characters. The music they create together is a testament to their deep emotional bond, and it serves as a reminder of the power of love to overcome all obstacles. Overall, music and art are essential elements in Dangerous Love, and they serve to enrich the story and deepen its themes.

The Impact of Colonialism and Postcolonialism

The impact of colonialism and postcolonialism is a recurring theme in Ben Okri’s Dangerous Love. The novel explores the effects of colonialism on Nigeria and its people, as well as the struggles of postcolonial Nigeria to find its own identity. Okri’s portrayal of the characters and their experiences reflects the complex and often painful legacy of colonialism. The novel also highlights the challenges of postcolonialism, including the struggle for political and economic independence, the search for cultural identity, and the ongoing effects of colonialism on the psyche of the people. Through his use of symbolism and imagery, Okri invites readers to reflect on the lasting impact of colonialism and the ongoing struggle for postcolonial liberation.

The Concept of Freedom and Liberation

The concept of freedom and liberation is a recurring theme in Ben Okri’s Dangerous Love. The novel explores the idea of freedom from various angles, including political, social, and personal freedom. The characters in the novel are all seeking some form of liberation, whether it is from the oppressive government, societal norms, or personal demons. The novel also highlights the importance of individual agency in achieving freedom and liberation. Okri’s use of symbolism, such as the recurring image of birds, further emphasizes the theme of freedom and liberation. Overall, Dangerous Love is a powerful exploration of the human desire for freedom and the obstacles that must be overcome to achieve it.

The Importance of Family and Relationships

In Ben Okri’s Dangerous Love, the theme of family and relationships is a prominent one. The novel explores the complexities of familial relationships, particularly those between parents and children. The protagonist, Omovo, struggles to come to terms with his father’s abandonment and his mother’s subsequent mental breakdown. This leaves him feeling isolated and alone, and he seeks solace in his relationships with others.

Throughout the novel, Okri highlights the importance of family and relationships in shaping one’s identity and sense of self. Omovo’s relationships with his friends, particularly his close friend Kemi, provide him with a sense of belonging and support. Similarly, his interactions with his uncle and aunt offer him a glimpse into a different kind of family dynamic, one that is more stable and nurturing.

Okri also explores the impact of societal expectations on familial relationships. Omovo’s mother, for example, is expected to conform to traditional gender roles and be a dutiful wife and mother. When she is unable to meet these expectations, she is ostracized by her community and ultimately suffers a mental breakdown. This highlights the damaging effects of societal pressure on individuals and their relationships with others.

Overall, Dangerous Love emphasizes the importance of family and relationships in shaping one’s identity and sense of self. It also highlights the impact of societal expectations on familial relationships and the need for individuals to find support and belonging outside of traditional family structures.

The Use of Imagery and Symbolism

In Ben Okri’s Dangerous Love, the use of imagery and symbolism is prevalent throughout the novel. Okri uses these literary devices to convey deeper meanings and themes to the reader. One example of this is the recurring image of the river. The river is a symbol of life and death, as it is both a source of sustenance and a potential danger. The river also represents the passage of time and the inevitability of change. Okri uses this imagery to highlight the fragility of life and the importance of living in the present moment. Another example of symbolism in the novel is the character of Bola. Bola represents the struggle for identity and the search for meaning in life. Her journey throughout the novel is a metaphor for the human experience and the quest for self-discovery. Overall, the use of imagery and symbolism in Dangerous Love adds depth and complexity to the novel, making it a rich and rewarding read for those who appreciate literary analysis.

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" A Dangerous Love " : Ben Okri's Persisting Commitment to Literary Experimentation

A once high-profile post-colonial writer, it is noticeable that the London-Nigerian novelist and essayist Ben Okri has all but dropped out of view as far as the literary establishment is concerned. While his earlier works still receive much academic attention and are deemed highly influential, critical engagements with his later fiction are almost non-existent. With this in mind, our aim is to map out the many transformations the author’s work has gone through and offer explanations as to the reasons behind certain negative receptions of the author’s work. To understand the new directions the author’s current writings have taken, one must analyse the totality of his novelistic writings as a single collective body striving towards a sustained renovation of the literary form. Our premise is that this experimentation might, contrary to its aim, be hampering the author’s success, and our study shall, therefore, examine in detail the experimental nature of these later works and offer a series of perceptions as to their possible shortcomings.

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Essay Samples on Teenage Love

If you’re looking to write a teenage love essay or a teenage relationships essay, you’re not alone. These topics are popular among students and for a good reason. Teenagers are at a critical stage in their lives where they experience a range of emotions, including love, which can have a significant impact on their emotional and psychological development.

When writing an essay about teenage love, it’s important to consider the various factors that can influence how teenagers view romantic relationships. Peer pressure, social media, and cultural norms are all factors that can shape the way young people approach love and relationships.

Moreover, exploring the effects of teenage love on individuals’ mental health and emotional well-being is another crucial component of a teenage love essay. While falling in love can be a positive experience, it can also lead to anxiety, stress, and depression in some cases.

When writing a teenage relationships essay, consider discussing the importance of communication, mutual respect, and empathy in healthy relationships. It’s also important to explore how unhealthy relationships can impact teenagers’ emotional and psychological well-being.

By examining the various factors that contribute to successful and unsuccessful romantic relationships among teenagers, you can provide valuable insights into this complex and often challenging topic.

In conclusion, writing an essay about teenage love and relationships can be a fascinating and rewarding experience. By exploring the different factors that shape young people’s views on love and relationships, you can provide valuable insights into this critical period of their lives. If you’re struggling to come up with a topic or need help crafting a compelling essay, consider using our platform. We offer a wide range of free essays, including essays about teenage love and relationships, that can provide inspiration and guidance for your own writing.

Reflections on Love and Digital Age in 'Brooklyn'

Introduction Since childhood, people are conditioned to find love. It is a concept we are all expected to express, yet many are unable to clearly explain what it is or means. The more people talk about love, the more its lines begin to blur. Even...

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Romeo And Juliet Theme In The Great Gatsby

Themes of Romeo and Juliet and the more relatable Jack and Rose from Titanic are examples of star-crossed lovers whose relationships were doomed, with Destiny scoffing at the glow of young love. Their unions were thwarted by obstacles and ultimately ended in tragedy, thus reinforcing...

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The Inevitable Tragedy of Romeo in Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet

William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet is an unforgettable tale of two young lovers caught in a bitter feud between their families. While the play is widely recognized as a story of love and tragedy, it is equally important to understand why the death of Romeo...

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The Three Advantages of Teenage Love

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1. Reflections on Love and Digital Age in ‘Brooklyn’

2. Romeo And Juliet Theme In The Great Gatsby

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Dangerous Love by Ben Okri: Seeking Solace in a Brutalised Society

Buy Dangerous Love from Kalahari.com

In the opening paragraphs of Dangerous Love , a novel first conceived more than 30 years ago (it is essentially a rewrite of Okri’s The Landscapes Within , which was issued in 1981) and first published in 1996, our young protagonist, Omovo, a boy of about 19, has his head shaved by an incompetent barber’s assistant plying his trade in the Lagos ghetto. Initially it is not the character’s intention to have all his hair removed in such dramatic fashion, but a bungled haircut leads to more drastic measures. In urban Nigeria of the late 1970s, where American disco (think afros and bell-bottoms) and high-life fashions are the order of the day, his clean-shaven scalp gives the young artist a strange, haunted look which immediately marks him as outsider. His neighbours and friends repeatedly ask him whether he is in mourning, which he vehemently denies.

The incident can be read as an extended metaphor which encapsulates many of this complex novel’s central themes: the incompetence and unprofessionalism of the apprentice echoes the incompetence of the post-war government in Nigeria (the novel is set about a decade after the cessation of hostilities in the horrific civil [Biafran] war which claimed the lives of over a million Nigerians) – something Okri brings to the fore repeatedly. The novel portrays the country’s citizenry as trapped rats, traumatised by violence and horror, now collectively gnawing away at the social fabric of their society. Unemployment is rife, violence is prevalent and a menacing atmosphere permeates the air. Omovo continuously refers to the “miasma of Lagos life”. Secret societies indulge in sinister practices. The occult and spirit world are present in the lives of characters – spirit children, strange dreams and a ritual murder are some of the things Omovo is confronted with during the course of the novel.

The protagonist’s decision to mark himself visually as outsider reflects and echoes his sense of isolation and disaffectedness – something he struggles with throughout the story. At the same time it is a defiant act which allows him to take some small measure of ownership of his identity as an artist. It is a signifier which lets him announce his individuality and displays his recognition of the impact of powerful, rebellious visual statements. Omovo is his own canvas, so to speak, and his art becomes the only means through which he can empower himself in this fraught society.

Lastly, but most crucially (and despite his denials to the contrary), Omovo is most certainly a man in mourning – and will remain one for the duration of this tale. He mourns for his long-suffering and abused dead mother, for his truculent, cash-strapped, alcoholic father, for his two banished brothers, for the deplorable state of the nation, and, most certainly, for his own overwhelming sense of purposelessness.

Forced to drop out of school without completing his final exams (due to lack of funds) Omovo is employed as a clerk in a chemical supply company – a job he abhors for its boredom and for the climate of corruption he finds himself inhabiting. His quietly defiant displays of moral rectitude (he stubbornly refuses to succumb to the bribing tactics of clients) and stand-offishness make him unpopular as a co-worker. His boss is eager to be rid of him and replace him with a down and out nephew willing to display the obsequiousness required of this type of entry-level position. (Some of the novel’s more grimly amusing passages are those describing Omovo’s interactions with his colleagues.)

Omovo’s home life is similarly unpleasant and tense. He lives in a dingy apartment in a run-down compound with his father and the latter’s calculating second wife, Blackie. His father has booted his two rebellious brothers out. These two young men send cryptic letters home hinting at sordid lives at sea as stowaways and sailors. There are lurid descriptions of filthy communal bathrooms in the compound. Squalor and lack of privacy are emphasised, as well as the hunger for scandal and gossip among commune dwellers. (There is a large pool of viscous scum outside the apartments which later becomes the subject of a painting by Omovo, seized by military officials at a gallery opening because, they declare, that it “undermines national authority and the nation’s progress”.) Yet Okri does balance this bleak view with some charming and jolly interactions between these down-and-out neighbours. It is not all Sturm und Drang , though everyone seems to be hanging on by a very thin thread.

Omovo’s friends, whom he sees only occasionally, are Keme, an earnest and principled young journalist, Okur, a slightly older man in his late twenties who served as a child soldier during the war and who clearly suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder, and Dele, a rich friend who, despite having impregnated his girlfriend, plans to flee Nigeria for the great white hope represented by America. Each friend is tortured by his own demons, and while the young men seem to have sincere regard for one another, they are all adrift on the same existentialist sea and can do little to really alleviate or solve one another’s problems.

The two things that thus keep Omovo going in this depressing state are his clandestine friendship with Ifeyiwa, a beautiful young married woman living in a neighbouring compound with her possessive husband, Takpo, and his art work. Mentored by a kindly Igbo signwriter cum painter, Doctor Okocha, Omovo uses drawing and painting to express and grapple with his angst and overwhelming sense of alienation and ennui. His relationship with Ifeyiwa, who had been ripped away from her schooling and forced into an arranged marriage by her impoverished family, offers both young people a modicum of emotional and intellectual solace. They discuss books, poetry and art. They find themselves to be kindred spirits and develop a passionate bond. While they know their love is doomed, they cannot stay away from each other. Ifeyiwa, even more so than Omovo, cuts a tragic figure: warm, passionate and intelligent, she is trapped in a loveless and abusive union with an intractable and jealous man. Like Omovo’s father, Takpo expects traditional patriarchal mores to be respected and adhered to, even here, in a more urbanised environment. Both these men are bullies who take out their feeling of disempowerment and humiliation on those they deem weaker than themselves. It is to Okri’s credit that they are not, however,  portrayed as one-dimensional bullies. In fact, all his central characters are complex, multifaceted and interesting.

The novel is ambitious in its scope and complex in its rendering. The author’s prose veers between colourful social realism and more surrealist passages which reflect Omovo’s inner life and nightmare visions of his society. The latter make for difficult, and at times laborious, reading. While the young man’s angst and his emotional highs and lows are convincingly captured, it can be hard going for the reader.

There is also some fascinating inter-textual interplay. Many of Okri’s vivid surrealist passages as well as the novel’s themes reminded me of Ghanaian author Ayi Kwei Armah’s seminal text, The Beautyful Ones Are Not Yet Born (1968), in which a nameless male protagonist struggles to come to terms with endemic corruption in post-independence Ghana. Like Omovo, that protagonist refuses to take bribes, and suffers the consequences. Like Omovo, he quietly endures, but with constantly eroding fortitude. It is interesting to note that in one of the last few chapters of Dangerous Love , Omovo works on a painting of a young victim of a ritual murder he and Keme had horrifyingly stumbled upon in a city park. He considers naming the painting The Beautiful Ones , but then reconsiders. We are told that he “wanted to use his own words”. Perhaps this could be read as Okri’s acknowledgement of the influence of the Armah text on his own writing?

In the same passage we are told that years later Omovo will rework this painting (now titled Related Losses ), “vainly trying to complete what he knew was beyond completion, trying to realise a fuller painting on a foundation whose frame is set forever … succumbing to the dangerous process of looking back, making himself suffer a long penance for a past artistic shame at a work unrealised by youthful craft”. This seems to be an allusion to Okri’s own decision to revise and rework The Landscapes Within into the present novel. (His author’s note also explains a little of this process.)

While Dangerous Love is not without its flaws, it is a haunting tale that both effectively dissects post-war Nigerian society and poses some interesting questions about the role of the artist in a ravaged world. While a love story lies at its core, its scope and themes are more far-reaching. Most chillingly, it reflects and echoes many of the problems we face in South African society today: corruption, a disaffected youth, high unemployment figures, artistic and media censorship, violence against women, and the struggles of traditionalism versus modernism. Omovo reflects in one scene: “He thought about the entanglement of bureaucracy and corruption that had spread throughout society. He thought about the older generation, how they had squandered and stolen much of the country’s resources, eaten up its future, weakened its potential, enriched themselves, got fat, created chaos everywhere, poisoned the next generation, and spread rashes of hunger throughout the land.”

Okri bears witness to his country’s tragic moral and economic decline. It could be said that a novel like this should serve as a prophetic warning, but unfortunately, here in South Africa we may already be too deep in the quagmire. The rot has set in.

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Feb 20, 2023

250-500 Word Example Essays About Love and Romance

Got an Essay assignment about Love and Romance? Let us help you out with these inspiring Examples!

Love, an emotion that has captivated the hearts and minds of poets, authors, and artists throughout history, remains a profound and multi-faceted subject. While the depth and complexity of this emotion can make it a daunting topic to explore in an essay, the right resources can turn this challenge into a rewarding endeavor. For those looking to capture the essence of love and romance in their writing, our essay writer can be a beacon of inspiration and assistance. This tool, powered by Jenni.ai, offers a seamless journey through the essay-writing process, from brainstorming ideas to refining the final draft. 

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1. The Evolution of Love: A Study of the Changing Nature of Romance throughout History

Introduction.

Love is one of humanity's most complicated and mysterious emotions. People have strived to comprehend and define Love throughout history, resulting in many works of literature, art, and music dedicated to the subject. Despite its universal appeal, the nature of Love has evolved significantly throughout time, reflecting evolving cultural, social, and economic situations. In this essay, we will look at the evolution of Love, from ancient times to the present.

Ancient Love

A. Greek and Roman Love

Love was viewed as a complex and varied feeling in ancient Greece and Rome, comprising characteristics of desire, friendship, and awe. Love was frequently represented as a tremendous force in ancient civilizations, capable of both propelling individuals to high heights of success and bringing them down into the depths of sorrow. This was especially true of romantic Love, which was glorified in epic poems like the Iliad and Odyssey , as well as works of art and literature depicting the hardships and sufferings of star-crossed lovers.

B. Medieval Love

A chivalric code known as courtly Love emerged in medieval Europe. Its core tenants were the importance of Love, honour, and devotion. During this time, romantic Love was typically portrayed as an unrequited emotion, with the lover pining for the affections of a faraway and unreachable beloved. Medieval poets and troubadours mirrored this romanticised picture of Love in their works by singing and writing about the highs and lows of passionate Love.

Modern Love

A. The Renaissance

The idealized picture of Love that had ruled for centuries was called into question by artists and intellectuals during the Renaissance, marking a turning point in the development of romantic relationships. During this time, romantic Love was portrayed as more tactile and visceral. Shakespeare, for instance, reflected the shifting beliefs of his day by exploring the nuanced and often tragic nature of Love in his works.

B. The Enlightenment

The concepts of reason and individuality began to gain root during the Enlightenment, and with that came a shift in how people saw Love. Political marriages and alliances were often formed based on Love, which was now considered a more sensible and practical feeling. Thinkers from the Enlightenment period, including Voltaire and Jean-Jacques Rousseau, shared this perspective on Love as a tool for bettering society and the individual.

C. The Modern Era

Today, the word "love" is most often used to describe a feeling one has when they are in a committed relationship or when one has achieved their own goals. Love has become a consumable good thanks to the spread of consumerism and the worship of the individual. The media and arts reflect this conception of Love by depicting it as a means to one's fulfillment and contentment.

The changing cultural, social, and economic conditions of each historical epoch are reflected in the history of Love. The essence of Love has changed dramatically throughout the years, from its idealised image in ancient Greece and Rome to its depiction as a spiritual tie in mediaeval Europe to its current identification with romantic relationships and personal fulfilment. Despite these changes, Love remains a strong and enduring force in human existence, inspiring numerous works of art, literature, and music and affecting how we live and interact with one another.

2. The Power of Love: Examining the Impact of Love on Our Lives and Relationships

Love is a strong feeling that may dramatically alter our life and the bonds we form with others. love, whether romantic, familial, or platonic, can unite us and improve our lives in countless ways., the benefits of love.

A. Improved Physical Health

Love has been demonstrated to improve physical health by decreasing stress, lowering blood pressure, and increasing immunity. The hormone oxytocin, which is released in response to social bonding and has been demonstrated to reduce physiological responses to stress, is thought to be at play here.

B. Enhanced Mental Health

In addition to its physical benefits, Love has been shown to have a beneficial effect on our mental health, lowering stress and anxiety levels and boosting our general sense of happiness. The protective powers of Love against the negative consequences of stress and other difficulties in life are well accepted.

C. Strengthened Relationships

A stronger tie may be formed between two people via the power of Love. Relationships of all kinds, whether romantic, familial, or platonic, may benefit from the strengthening effects of Love by increasing their levels of closeness, trust, and mutual understanding.

The Challenges of Love

A. Love can be painful

Sometimes Love hurts, as when a relationship ends or when we can't find the one we're looking for. One of life's most trying events is losing someone we care about, which may leave us feeling isolated, discouraged, and empty.

The Power of Love to Overcome Challenges

Despite these difficulties, Love may help us overcome them and grow closer to one another. The strength of Love is that it may help us learn and grow, both as people and as a community, via its many forms, such as forgiveness, compromise, and the willingness to persevere through adversity.

Finally, Love is a strong and transformational force that may profoundly influence our lives and relationships. Love may provide us joy, comfort, and a feeling of purpose, whether between friends, family, or romantic partners. Despite its numerous advantages, Love may also bring with it difficulties such as heartbreak and strife. Nonetheless, never underestimate the power of Love. 

It has the potential to draw people together and form deep, long-lasting bonds. Love has the power to make the world a better place, whether through acts of kindness, selflessness, or simply being there for one another. So, let us embrace Love in all of its manifestations and harness its potential to improve our lives and the lives of those around us.

3. The Science of Love: Understanding the Biology and Psychology Behind Love and Attraction

For millennia, people have been drawn and intrigued by the intricate and intriguing feeling of Love. Despite its enormous global significance, the science of Love is now being thoroughly investigated. This paper will investigate the biology and psychology of Love and attraction, delving into the different elements that impact these powerful emotions and how they form our relationships.

The Biology of Love

A. Hormone Function

Love is a biological process controlled by chemicals such as dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin. These hormones influence our sensations of attraction, enthusiasm, and enjoyment and boost sentiments of trust and closeness.

B. The Influence of Genetics

Genetics also has an impact on Love and attraction, with some personality qualities and physical characteristics that are considered to be appealing to potential spouses being handed down from generation to generation. This suggests that particular preferences for specific sorts of people are hardwired into our genetics, influencing our romantic and sexual attraction patterns.

The Psychology of Love

A. The Role of Attachment Styles

Our attachment types, which we acquire from our early connections with our caretakers, also affect our Love. These attachment types can significantly influence our later relationships, influencing how we build and keep deep attachments with others.

B. The Impact of Social Norms and Values

Cultural Values

Social conventions and cultural ideas also impact Love and attraction, with societal expectations and values impacting our romantic and sexual impulses. These social conventions and cultural ideas influence everything from who we are attracted to and how we approach and pursue relationships.

The Meeting of Biology and

Love Psychology

The biology and psychology of Love are inextricably linked and interdependent, with one having a complicated and subtle impact on the other. This suggests that, while biology influences our sentiments of attraction and Love, our psychological experiences and beliefs may equally shape these emotions.

To summarise, love science is a complicated and intriguing discipline that encompasses the biology and psychology of this strong and transformational emotion. By investigating the elements that impact Love and attraction, we may gain a deeper understanding of the systems that underpin these feelings and how they shape our lives and relationships. The study of Love is a vital and beneficial effort, whether we seek Love, attempt to preserve Love, or wonder about the science underlying this feeling.

4. The Fine Line Between Love and Obsession: Exploring the Dark Side of Love

Love is a powerful and transformative emotion that can bring immense joy and fulfilment to our lives. But Love can also turn dark and dangerous when it crosses the line into obsession. This essay will examine the fine line between Love and obsession, exploring how Love can become unhealthy and dangerous.

The Characteristics of Obsessive Love

A. Unhealthy Attachment

Obsessive Love is characterized by an unhealthy attachment to another person, with the obsessed person becoming overly dependent on their partner for emotional fulfilment. This can lead to feelings of possessiveness and jealousy, as well as a need for constant attention and validation.

B. Control and Manipulation

Obsessive Love can also involve control and manipulation, with the obsessed person trying to control every aspect of their partner's life and behaviour. This can range from minor acts of manipulation, such as trying to dictate what their partner wears or who they spend time with, to more serious forms of control, such as physical abuse or stalking.

The Dark Side of Love

A. Stalking and Harassment

The dark side of Love can take many forms, with stalking and harassment being among the most extreme and dangerous forms of obsessive behaviour. Stalking and harassment can have serious and long-lasting consequences for the victim, causing fear, stress, and trauma that can impact their mental and physical well-being.

B. Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is another form of the dark side of Love, with physical, sexual, and psychological abuse being used as a means of control and domination. Domestic violence can have devastating consequences for the victim, often leading to serious injury or even death.

The Roots of Obsessive Love

A. Psychological Issues

Obsessive Love can have its roots in psychological issues, including depression, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder. These conditions can lead to feelings of insecurity and low self-esteem, making it difficult for individuals to form healthy relationships.

B. Cultural and Social Factors

Cultural and social factors can also play a role in the development of obsessive Love, with certain societal beliefs and norms promoting possessiveness and control in relationships. This can include gender roles, expectations, and cultural beliefs about Love and relationships.

In conclusion, the fine line between Love and obsession is delicate and dangerous, with Love crossing over into unhealthy and dangerous territory when it becomes obsessive. By understanding the characteristics of obsessive Love and how it can take dark and dangerous forms, we can better protect ourselves and our loved ones from the negative consequences of this powerful emotion.

5. The Concept of Unconditional Love: An Analysis of the Ideal of Selfless Love

All kinds of different things count as Love since it's such a complicated and diverse feeling. Unconditional Love is frequently depicted as altruistic, all-encompassing, and unshakable, making it one of the most romanticized types. In this essay, I'd discuss the idea of unconditional Love, defining it and contrasting it with other types of affection.

An Explanation of Selfless Love

A. Selfless Love

The term "unconditional love" is commonly used to describe a type of Love that puts the other person's needs before its own. In this kind of Love, one person cares for another without any thought of return or compensation.

B. Love that encompasses everything

Many people use the term "all-encompassing" to express how unconditional Love embraces a person regardless of who they are or what they've done in their lives. A love like this doesn't depend on the other person changing or improving in any way; rather, it's an unconditional embrace of the person as they are.

The Ideal of Unconditional Love

A. Love Without Conditions

Unconditional Love is a romantic ideal in which the lover places no restrictions on the object of his affection. Since it involves so much giving of oneself, this kind of Love is typically held up as the pinnacle of romantic relationships.

B. Putting the Feeling into Action

However, since we are all flawed human beings, practising unconditional Love can be challenging in daily life. Although this may be the case, the ideal of unconditional Love is still significant since it motivates us to improve our Love and compassion towards others.

The Advantages of Unconditional Love

A. Stronger Connections

Unconditional Love has the potential to improve our connections with others, leading to deeper and more meaningful bonds. This kind of Love creates a non-judgmental and welcoming attitude towards people, which can assist to lessen conflict and improve understanding.

B. More Joy and Satisfaction

As a result of the more profound relationships it fosters, unconditional Love may also increase a person's sense of well-being and contentment. Finding Love like this may give our life new meaning and make us feel whole.

In conclusion, many of us hold unconditional Love as a relationship goal. Even if it's not always possible, the ideal of unconditional Love is worthwhile since it motivates us to increase our Love and compassion. The concept of unconditional Love may lead us to a more meaningful and happy lifestyle, whether our goal is to better our relationships or to find more pleasure and contentment in general.

6. The Importance of Communication in Love Relationships: A Study of the Role of Communication in Maintaining Love

Love relationships, like all others, benefit greatly from open lines of communication between partners. Connecting with one another on a regular basis, whether it's to chat about the day, express emotions, or problem-solve, is crucial to keeping the Love alive between you. This essay will discuss the significance of communication in romantic relationships, specifically how it helps couples stay together and grow closer over time.

Advantages of good communication

Increased Compatibility and Mutual Understanding

Love partnerships benefit significantly from open lines of communication that facilitate mutual understanding and closeness. Sharing our innermost ideas, emotions, and experiences with our partners via direct and honest communication strengthens our bonds with them.

Reduced Conflict

As we can better address difficulties and find positive solutions to differences when communicating effectively, we experience less conflict in our relationships. Relationships may be stronger and more loving by talking through differences and finding common ground.

The Difficulties in Expressing Your Feelings in a Romantic Relationship

A. Confusing Messages and Confused Intents

Good communication can sometimes be difficult, especially in romantic partnerships, despite its many advantages. Conflict, anger and a lack of trust may all result from poor communication and misunderstandings in relationships.

B. Vulnerability and Emotional Safety

Likewise, it takes courage and trust to open up and talk about your feelings with the person you love. It may be nerve-wracking to communicate our innermost thoughts and feelings with a partner because of the risk of being judged harshly or rejected.

The Importance of Active Listening

What is Active Listening?

Maintaining positive connections with others requires not just good talkers but also good listeners. Paying close attention to the other person as they speak and making an effort to get their viewpoint and requirements is an essential component of active listening.

The Benefits of Active Listening

The ability to listen attentively and process information can have a significant influence on interpersonal bonds. You may show your spouse how much you value their opinion and the commitment you have to the relationship by listening attentively to what they have to say.

Finally, it's important to note that communication is a cornerstone of successful, loving partnerships. Communication is crucial for developing and maintaining healthy relationships , whether it is via problem-solving, venting, or just listening. Your relationship may grow stronger and become more rewarding and loving if you put an emphasis on communicating well with one another.

Final Words

Love is a complicated and varied theme that has inspired numerous works of art, literature, and music. Whether it is the science of Love, the power of Love, or the development of Love, there is a great deal to learn and comprehend about this universal feeling. 

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'Dangerous' love: reflections on violence among Xhosa township youth

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Love Beyond Bars: Jules and Samantha

Jules and samantha werkheiser fought their wrongful convictions for over a decade. here’s their journey of survival — and motherhood — in pictures..

In a winding legal fight that began in 2011, Samantha Werkheiser and her wife, Jules, were wrongfully convicted of sexually abusing Samantha’s daughters from her first marriage. The New York couple maintained that Samantha’s ex-husband and his wife alienated the girls from them during a bitter custody battle, and, as a result, manipulated the teens into making false abuse accusations.

Over the next 12 years, often on opposite sides of prison walls, Samantha and Jules helped each other cope — with lawyers and judges, motions and decisions, appeals and new trials. Samantha was in prison when she gave birth to their son, Julius, and his twin sister, who died.

Samantha and Jules had a wedding in 2005, when same-sex marriage was still illegal in New York. They legally wed in 2011.

Samantha’s indictment was thrown out in 2019, after two trials. She was released from prison after serving four-and-a-half years of a 15-year sentence. Jules, who was serving 11 years to life, walked out of prison in September 2023. The state dismissed her final charge in January 2024.

In this second installment of our “Love Beyond Bars” series, Samantha reflects on the bittersweet beauty of her journey with Jules, and how their son kept them connected even when they couldn’t be in the same space.

O ur love story is unique. For years, Jules and I were both in and out of prison, sometimes missing each other by days on either side of the fence. We fought for one another and kept hope alive. It’s something that I think is really beautiful.

Of course, it’s easy to say that our story is beautiful now, but I have to say it wasn’t when it was happening. I knew we could make it, but there were times where I didn’t know if I could bear all that “making it” entailed.

I was three months pregnant with twins in May of 2013, when I was convicted and sent to prison. Our daughter was born early, and she passed away 22 minutes after birth. Doctors were apprehensive about our son’s chances. They said it was likely he would be born early, too. And even if I could manage to make it to 24 weeks, we should expect that he would have all sorts of health and developmental issues.

None of that happened. In November 2013, at full term, I gave birth to Julius. It was miraculous. He survived in the face of those odds.

Our son was 2 when I won my first appeal. Jules was convicted the very same week I got out of prison. I wasn’t allowed to visit her because I still had pending charges, and I was waiting for my second trial. So we had an army of friends who would rotate bringing Julius to visit her. Each time he came back, I would hug him so tightly because he had just seen mommy. He was with her when I couldn’t be.

Our legal battle was scary and lonely and horrible, but we focused on getting through it little by little, getting to that next visit or next letter. Julius was our hope, our love child [who] bound us together. We didn’t believe that God gave us a child that neither one of us was going to be present for. So when one of us would begin to complain or feel sorry for herself, we would remind the other of the great gift of our son. We got through that tunnel of shit. Still, it doesn’t feel real.

Jules embraces Julius at a soccer game.

The family posed for this photograph on Mother’s Day in 2022, when Julius was 8. At the time, Jules was incarcerated at Bedford Hills Correctional Facility.

Jules and Julius pray inside Saint James Catholic Church, the Waverly, New York, church where he was baptized. Both of his mothers converted to Catholicism while they were imprisoned.

Jules and Samantha hug Julius. The couple has been together for 24 years.

Camille Farrah Lenain is a French-Algerian documentary photographer who grew up in Paris. She relocated to New Orleans in 2013. Her photographs have been exhibited internationally, including at the Ogden Museum of Southern Art, the Arab World Institute, Photoville and Les Rencontres d'Arles.

Carla Canning is an engagement journalist and contract editor at Prison Journalism Project. She previously worked on Life Inside as The Marshall Project's Tow audience engagement fellow. At the Craig Newmark Graduate School of Journalism, she created a website guide for people visiting loved ones incarcerated in New York State prisons.

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Carla Canning Email is an engagement journalist and former Tow audience engagement fellow at The Marshall Project. At the Craig Newmark Graduate School of Journalism, she created a website guide for people visiting loved ones incarcerated in New York State prisons. She recently traded in her lifelong New Yorker status for sunny Southern California.

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The Gunman and the Would-Be Dictator

Violence stalks the president who has rejoiced in violence to others.

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When a madman hammered nearly to death the husband of then–House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, Donald Trump jeered and mocked . One of Trump’s sons and other close Trump supporters avidly promoted false claims that Paul Pelosi had somehow brought the onslaught upon himself through a sexual misadventure.

After authorities apprehended a right-wing-extremist plot to abduct Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer, Trump belittled the threat at a rally. He disparaged Whitmer as a political enemy. His supporters chanted “Lock her up.” Trump laughed and replied , “Lock them all up.”

Fascism feasts on violence. In the years since his own supporters attacked the Capitol to overturn the 2020 election—many of them threatening harm to Speaker Pelosi and Vice President Mike Pence—Trump has championed the invaders, would-be kidnappers, and would-be murderers as martyrs and hostages. He has vowed to pardon them if returned to office. His own staffers have testified to the glee with which Trump watched the mayhem on television.

Now the bloodshed that Trump has done so much to incite against others has touched him as well. The attempted murder of Trump—and the killing of a person nearby—is a horror and an outrage. More will be learned about the man who committed this appalling act, and who was killed by the Secret Service. Whatever his mania or motive, the only important thing about him is the law-enforcement mistake that allowed him to bring a deadly weapon so close to a campaign event and gain a sight line of the presidential candidate. His name should otherwise be erased and forgotten.

It is sadly incorrect to say, as so many have, that political violence “has no place” in American society. Assassinations, lynchings, riots, and pogroms have stained every page of American political history. That has remained true to the present day. In 2016 , and even more in 2020, Trump supporters brought weapons to intimidate opponents and vote-counters. Trump and his supporters envision a new place for violence as their defining political message in the 2024 election. Fascist movements are secular religions. Like all religions, they offer martyrs as their proof of truth. The Mussolini movement in Italy built imposing monuments to its fallen comrades. The Trump movement now improves on that: The leader himself will be the martyr in chief, his own blood the basis for his bid for power and vengeance.

Christopher R. Browning: A new kind of fascism

The 2024 election was already shaping up as a symbolic contest between an elderly and weakening liberalism too frail and uncertain to protect itself and an authoritarian, reactionary movement ready to burst every barrier and trash every institution. To date, Trump has led only a minority of U.S. voters, but that minority’s passion and audacity have offset what it lacks in numbers. After the shooting, Trump and his backers hope to use the iconography of a bloody ear and face, raised fist, and call to “Fight!” to summon waverers to their cause of installing Trump as an anti-constitutional ruler, exempted from ordinary law by his allies on the Supreme Court.

Other societies have backslid to authoritarianism because of some extraordinary crisis: economic depression, hyperinflation, military defeat, civil strife. In 2024, U.S. troops are nowhere at war. The American economy is booming, providing spectacular and widely shared prosperity. A brief spasm of mild post-pandemic inflation has been overcome. Indicators of social health have abruptly turned positive since Trump left office after years of deterioration during his term. Crime and fatal drug overdoses are declining in 2024; marriages and births are rising. Even the country’s problems indirectly confirm the country’s success: Migrants are crossing the border in the hundreds of thousands, because they know, even if Americans don’t, that the U.S. job market is among the hottest on Earth.

Yet despite all of this success, Americans are considering a form of self-harm that in other countries has typically followed the darkest national failures: letting the author of a failed coup d’état return to office to try again.

One reason this self-harm is nearing consummation is that American society is poorly prepared to understand and respond to radical challenges, once those challenges gain a certain mass. For nearly a century, “radical” in U.S. politics has usually meant “fringe”: Communists, Ku Kluxers, Black Panthers, Branch Davidians, Islamist jihadists. Radicals could be marginalized by the weight of the great American consensus that stretches from social democrats to business conservatives. Sometimes, a Joe McCarthy or a George Wallace would throw a scare into that mighty consensus, but in the past such challengers rarely formed stable coalitions with accepted stakeholders in society. Never gaining an enduring grip on the institutions of state, they flared up and burned out.

Trump is different. His abuses have been ratified by powerful constituencies. He has conquered and colonized one of the two major parties. He has defeated—or is on the way to defeating—every impeachment and prosecution to hold him to account for his frauds and crimes. He has assembled a mass following that is larger, more permanent, and more national in reach than any previous American demagogue. He has dominated the scene for nine years already, and he and his supporters hope they can use yesterday’s appalling event to extend the Trump era to the end of his life and beyond.

The American political and social system cannot treat such a person as an alien. It inevitably accommodates and naturalizes him. His counselors, even the thugs and felons, join the point-counterpoint dialogue at the summit of the American elite. President Joe Biden nearly wrecked his campaign because he felt obliged to meet Trump in debate. How could Biden have done otherwise? Trump is the three-time nominee of the Republican Party; it’s awkward and strange to treat him as an insurrectionist against the American state—though that’s what Trump was and is.

David Frum: Biden’s heartbreaking press conference

The despicable shooting at Trump, which also caused death and injury to others, now secures his undeserved position as a partner in the protective rituals of the democracy he despises. The appropriate expressions of dismay and condemnation from every prominent voice in American life have the additional effect of habituating Americans to Trump’s legitimacy. In the face of such an outrage, the familiar and proper practice is to stress unity, to proclaim that Americans have more things in common than that divide them. Those soothing words, true in the past, are less true now.

Nobody seems to have language to say: We abhor, reject, repudiate, and punish all political violence, even as we maintain that Trump remains himself a promoter of such violence, a subverter of American institutions, and the very opposite of everything decent and patriotic in American life.

The Republican National Convention, which opens this week, will welcome to its stage apologists for Vladimir Putin’s Russia and its aggression against U.S. allies. Trump’s own infatuation with Russia and other dictatorships has not dimmed even slightly with age or experience. Yet all of these urgent and necessary truths must now be subordinated to the ritual invocation of “thoughts and prayers” for someone who never gave a thought or uttered a prayer for any of the victims of his own many incitements to bloodshed. The president who used his office to champion the rights of dangerous people to own military-type weapons says he was grazed by a bullet from one such assault rifle.

Conventional phrases and polite hypocrisy fill a useful function in social life. We say “Thank you for your service” both to the decorated hero and to the veteran who barely escaped dishonorable discharge. It’s easier than deciphering which was which. We wish “Happy New Year!” even when we dread the months ahead.

Adrienne LaFrance: Thoughts, prayers, and Facebook rants aren’t enough

But conventional phrases don’t go unheard. They carry meanings, meanings no less powerful for being rote and reflexive. In rightly denouncing violence, we are extending an implicit pardon to the most violent person in contemporary U.S. politics. In asserting unity, we are absolving a man who seeks power through the humiliation and subordination of disdained others.

Those conventional phrases are inscribing Trump into a place in American life that he should have forfeited beyond redemption on January 6, 2021. All decent people welcome the sparing of his life. Trump’s reckoning should be with the orderly process of law, not with the bloodshed he rejoiced in when it befell others. He and his allies will exploit a gunman’s vicious criminality as their path to exonerate past crimes and empower new ones. Those who stand against Trump and his allies must find the will and the language to explain why these crimes, past and planned, are all wrong, all intolerable—and how the gunman and Trump, at their opposite ends of a bullet’s trajectory, are nonetheless joined together as common enemies of law and democracy.

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'Skywalkers' looks at dangerous sport of climbing tall buildings, illegally

Let’s get this out of the way. “Skywalkers: A Love Story” has nothing to do with “Star Wars.”

Rather, the new Netflix documentary (streaming Friday) is the tale of a Russian couple, Ivan Beerkus and Angela Nikolau , who for fun, love and Instagram fame and fortune, climb unroped and illegally in order to pose atop impossibly hig h buildings .

Anyone with a fear of heights might have a hard time watching the documentary, which focuses on the couple’s dicey 2022 attempt to make it to the top of Merdeka 118 , a 2,227-foot building in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.

“I had a fear of heights like most people when I was young, but I wanted to challenge myself, so that’s where rooftopping came in,” says Beerkus, 30, using the street term for the daredevil practice.

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For Nikolau, 31, a gymnast and the child of circus performers, the risky pursuit has as much to do with personal fortitude as it does performance art.

“I had a fear as well, but as you see in the documentary, my grandmother said. ‘Every woman in our bloodline is strong,’ so I was used to never showing weakness,” she says.

The couple spoke in Russian with USA TODAY about their climbs, relationship and future plans with the interpretive help of Maria Bukhonina, co-director of “Skywalkers” along with Jeff Zimbalist.

Question: As you head up Merdeka 118, you vow to each other that this will be the last climb. I sense, however, that it was not?

Beerkus: We did talk about quitting after Merdeka. We haven’t, but we’re more reasonable. Angela does have panic attacks on unstable buildings, so we try not to climb on cranes anymore. We are more looking for unusual roofs to provide unusual photos.

Nikolau: Every time we land in a new city, we can’t help but notice the roofs. We can talk about quitting, but you put a new roof in front of us and we get excited.

You have climbed some famous off-limits places, like Notre-Dame in Paris. Is there any structure that is calling your name, say, perhaps the pyramids in Egypt?

Nikolau: There’s nothing that is built that we haven’t done or is calling our names. I also joke, what we are planning is a secret, so follow us on Instagram. But in truth we are trespassing, so we can’t share that.

Was Merdeka the most challenging of your rooftop climbs?

Beerkus: It was, mainly because of what we heard about the prisons in Malaysia, and how tough the laws are there if you are caught. You can go to prison for months for rooftopping, which isn’t the case in other countries.

Any concern that you’re getting too famous to do this, since you rely on anonymity to sneak into buildings?

Nikolau: People in the know already know who we are. When we went to the (church) Sagrada Familia in Barcelona just as tourists recently, they immediately waved us off. It happens a lot in Hong Kong as well, because security in these marquee buildings is huge.

One could argue life is inherently dangerous, but how do you deal with the fear of death?

Nikolau: When I was 18, I had to bury my cousin who was the same age, he died of an embolism. And I thought, you can die at any moment, so I want to live my life to the fullest. What’s better, live long and smolder like a coal, or burn bright like a fire? I want to burn bright.

Beerkus: You can live 100 years but if your life is boring, it’s not the same. We want to live these bright moments to the fullest. We consider ourselves artists, we want to show others what it’s like to pursue your passions. Would you stop if you had a child?

Beerkus: (laughs) Maybe you have to ask the woman over there who would be the mother.

Nikolau: You know I come from a crazy circus family. So you can draw your own conclusions.

What is your message to kids who want to emulate what you do?

Nikolau: Don’t do it, it’s dangerous. But I’d say the same about gymnastics or skiing or skydiving, they all have risks. My message is, decide what you want to do and stick to your guns.

Beerkus: This is why at the beginning of our documentary, it says don’t do this at home.

The documentary is billed as a love story. How is your relationship now, after the tense times shown in the movie?

Beerkus: Our relationship was strong but after Merdeka, it was stronger. We did see how unusual a couple we are, we are maybe one in a billion who found each other. Whatever secrets we had, we told them to each other the night before we climbed. That really solidified our relationship so much more.

Nikolau: We stopped thinking of ourselves as normal. We’re a bit rare, and we have a new appreciation for ourselves.

Beerkus: But we’re also just a normal couple with everyday quarrels, too. The film reminded us that we have to choose each other every day. It’s not about the roofs and the big emotions, it’s about how you treat each other every day.

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In NBC interview, Biden says he shouldn't have said "bullseye" when referring to Trump, but says former president is the one engaged in dangerous rhetoric

By Jordan Freiman

Updated on: July 16, 2024 / 10:03 AM EDT / CBS News

In the wake of the attempted assassination of former President Trump , President Biden says he shouldn't have used the word "bullseye" when referring to how his campaign should treat Trump, but still wants to put the focus squarely on his opponent's record and rhetoric heading into November.

"I was talking about focus on, look, the truth of the matter was, what I guess I was talking about at the time was, there was very little focus on Trump's agenda," Mr. Biden told NBC News' Lester Holt in an interview on Monday.

"It was a mistake to use the word," the president conceded, but added, "I meant focus on him. Focus on what he's doing."

"I'm not the guy that said, I want to be a dictator on day one. I'm not the guy that refused to accept the outcome of the election. I'm not the guy who said they won't accept the outcome of this election automatically," Mr. Biden said. "You can't only love your country when you win. And so, the focus was on what he's saying and the idea."

Asked if he had done any "soul searching" about his rhetoric, Mr. Biden said, "How do you talk about the threat to democracy, which is real, when a president says things like he says? Do you just not say anything, because it may incite somebody?" 

"I've not engaged in that rhetoric," Mr. Biden insisted. "Now, my opponent is engaged in that rhetoric. He talks about, there'll be a bloodbath if he loses. Talking about how he's going to forgive all the ... I guess suspend the sentence of all those who were arrested and sentenced to go to jail because of what happened in the Capitol."

Mr. Biden also criticized Trump for making light of the violent assault on Paul Pelosi , the husband of former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. 

Mr. Biden and Trump spoke over the phone following Saturday's attempted assassination, a conversation Mr. Biden described as "very cordial."

"I told him how concerned I was and wanted to make sure I knew how he was actually doing," Mr. Biden said. "He sounded good. He said he was fine and he thanked me for calling."

Mr. Biden said he didn't know if the attempted assassination would have any effect on the race and said his main concern was the health of Trump and the ongoing media coverage.  

Mr. Biden paused campaign activities following Saturday's shooting, including a trip to Texas, where the president was supposed to attend a ceremony commemorating the 60th anniversary of the 1964 Civil Rights Act. The president reiterated his belief that "there's no place at all for violence in politics in America. None. Zero."

When asked what he personally could do to help "lower down the temperature, the rhetoric out there," Mr. Biden said he would "continue to talk about the things that matter to the American public."

"It matters whether or not you accept the outcome of elections. It matters whether or not you, for example, talk about how you're gonna deal with the border instead of talking about people being vermin ... Those things matter."

Mr. Biden was also asked how he felt about the classified documents case against Trump being dismissed , to which the president said he was "not surprised."

Mr. Biden noted the ruling stemmed from Justice Clarence Thomas' opinion in Trump's immunity case and drew a contrast between how he and his opponent handled independent prosecutors. Mr. Biden noted he cooperated and sat for a deposition when he himself was being investigated for possible mishandling of classified documents .

Mr. Biden said he found the reasoning for dismissing the case "specious" and that he disagreed with Thomas' reasoning and the Supreme Court's larger ruling on presidential immunity, adding that the court justices "seem out of touch with what the founders intended."

The conversation then turned to Mr. Biden's debate performance and whether or not he had changed his mind about staying atop the Democratic ticket for 2024. Mr. Biden said he would continue to run as the presidential nominee.

While most polling shows Mr. Biden running behind Trump, including in battleground states , Mr. Biden insisted the polls show the race is "essentially a tossup."

Mr. Biden said he's watched "pieces" of his last debate against Trump and admitted again that he had a "bad, bad night" and that he "wasn't feeling well at all ... I screwed up."

But he also fired back at Holt and the media in general, asking, "Why don't you guys ever talk about the 28 lies he told? Where are you on this? Why doesn't the press ever talk about that?"

The president said he understood why some people might be concerned about his age, but noted Trump is only three years younger than him. 

Finally, Mr. Biden was asked his opinion on Trump's newly announced running mate, Ohio Sen. JD Vance .

"It's not unusual. He's gonna surround himself with people who agree completely with him," Mr. Biden said, while also referencing Vance's previous outspoken criticism of Trump .

Jordan Freiman is a news editor for CBSNews.com. He covers breaking news, trending stories, sports and crime. Jordan has previously worked at Spin and Death and Taxes.

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‘This Storm Has Broken People’: After Beryl, Some Consider Leaving

Devastating, back-to-back power outages have led some in Houston to consider whether they want to stay in the city they love.

By J. David Goodman

Reporting from Houston

Houston is no stranger to natural disasters, but living through two crippling power outages in two months has driven some in the city to consider what may be the ultimate evacuation plan: moving out.

The more powerful of the storms, Hurricane Beryl, devastated the power infrastructure over nearly the entire city. When it hit, thousands of people were already living in shelters and hotels, according to state officials, because they had been displaced by an earlier weather event, the spring thunderstorms that caused wind damage and flooding.

Driving around Houston, it can be hard to tell which of the storms that crashed through the city had mangled the highway billboards, torn out the fences or knocked down the trees still strewn along roadsides.

Everyone knows how long it took to get their power back from the first big storm — and when they lost it again. A second round of spoiled food. Of sweltering temperatures . Of emergency plans. In many cases, of repairs to homes that were damaged in the major May storm had yet to be finished when Beryl arrived as a Category 1 hurricane.

For some, it was too much.

“I’m just done, “ said Stephanie Fuqua, 52, who moved to Houston in 2015 and plans to leave in the fall.

Ms. Fuqua’s home had flooded during Hurricane Harvey in 2017. She shivered under blankets for three days when the state’s electrical grid failed during the winter of 2021. Then came the most recent storms, which left her sweltering without power.

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