essay about dangerous love

• Relationships

10 Reasons Why Romantic Love Can Be So Dangerous

Part 1: regardless of your age, romantic love activates your inner adolescent..

Posted August 11, 2021 | Reviewed by Lybi Ma

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• Love should involve emotion and reason; but regrettably, your rational faculties can be swept away by powerful amorous feelings.
• By too readily trusting your beloved, should the relationship end badly, placing so much confidence in them can come back to haunt you.
• Distracted by the thrilling “high” of courtship, women may give up or postpone their pre-romantic plans, which they may later regret.
• If you marry your beloved, you’ll soon realize they were never as “special” as—in your dreamy-eyed “love-sightedness”—you believed they were.

Romantic love is typically the most exciting experience you’ll ever have. What could be more thrilling, more gratifying, or (in endorphin production) more chemically rewarding? Still, many dangers link to this love. It frequently culminates in disappointment, hurt, regret, or—at its worst—despair. Here are 10 examples of its negative potential:

1. By altering your consciousness, love can lead you to feel, and act, off-balance. The descriptive phrases “ falling in love” or “ head over heels in love” testify to how easily this euphoric state can “trip you up.” It can make you behave “lopsidedly” to situations that realistically hardly warrant such a reaction.

The expression, “love is blind,” additionally alludes to not being able to see straight, indicating a myopic vision prompting you to ignore details that could be crucial.

2. When powerful feelings about your beloved not only dim your clear-sightedness but also what your friends and relatives may be telling you, the chances of making a beguiled mistake increase further. Others may be much more aware of critical warning signs that, amorously (or stubbornly) viewing your partner through a heavily biased, favorable filter, cause you to discount or dismiss their concerns.

3. There’s a strangely involuntary, uncontrollable aspect to romantic love. With a diminished ability to think logically about what’s happening to you, you may not be able to grasp the irrational dynamics of your inordinate passion. And regrettably, this emotionally or lustfully charged attraction might well oppose your (no-longer-accessible) better judgment and not at all reflect your basic values.

4. It could be that when you speak to, or even think about, the person you’re in love with, you feel tense, uneasy, and nervous—even when there’s no one on earth you’d rather be with. And, however ironic, it’s well known that “highs” can produce as much stress as “lows.”

5. Your ability to think lucidly is compromised when you’re full of romantic feelings. Ideally, love should involve emotion and reason, the two coming together in a manner that makes rational sense. But your rational faculties can be swept away when amorous feelings take you over.

6. It can threaten, or undermine, your integrity. If your self-acceptance is limited, inflicted with notions (real or not) of not being good enough, you’ll hide from your partner whatever qualities you associate with personal weakness or inadequacy. Unwilling to risk criticism or rejection, you’ll edit your behavior accordingly, only letting yourself be known to the degree it feels relationally safe.

But risk-reducing stratagems can’t be maintained indefinitely. If the relationship becomes longer-term, your actual (vs. imagined) deficits will become increasingly evident, jeopardizing the relationship.

7. Trusting someone is never without danger. In romantic love, when you’re over -confident about your partner’s unconditional acceptance, you’ll likely bare your soul to them, taking risks you probably wouldn’t take with anybody else. By all-too-readily extending such trust, should the relationship end badly your prematurely placing so much confidence in them can come back to haunt you.

8. Closely related to the above is that if the relationship is cut short, you’ll likely become more cynical. And although this increased skepticism may protect you from dashing headlong into another misguided relationship, researchers have connected a suspicious attitude to a shorter lifespan, and less happiness generally. Furthermore, because trusting others represents a fundamental human need, what you presumably learned from your intensely painful disillusionment can make it much harder to trust a prospective mate going forward.

9. In a romantic relationship , it’s normal to become preoccupied with your love object. Your hopes, dreams , and fears can be so absorbing that you may not be able to adequately attend to other responsibilities and commitments—like your studies, vocation, and other important relationships and pursuits. But disregarding what remains key to your personal and professional welfare is perilous, it can lead you to fail a course, get fired from your job, and so on.

It cannot be emphasized enough that romantic interests ought to be balanced by (non- narcissistic ) self-interests. Nonetheless, that can be a real challenge if you’re not sufficiently secure about being the other’s equal.

10. As pertains specifically to single women, Bella DePaulo, referring to several studies on the subject, reports that the career aspirations of many women end up taking a backseat to an all-consuming romantic relationship. Seduced by the extraordinary high experienced during courtship, they may give up or postpone pre-romantic plans. And later they may come to regret the "all for love" mentality that so distracted them from what earlier had been their foremost priority.

Doubtless, from your own experience of being in love you can think of more reasons to be cautious about its consequent thoughts and feelings, which can negatively affect your better judgment. My next post will list an additional 10 reasons. But right now you might want to add to the present list, to see how many of them dovetail with my upcoming post.

© 2021 Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved.

Capulet, S. (2019, Feb 11). Why We’re Obsessed With Romantic Love and Why It’s Dangerous. https://thoughtcatalog.com/sarah-capulet/2019/02/why-were-obsessed-with…

DePaulo, B. ( 2018, Nov 7). In Love With Romantic Love? That Comes With Risks. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/201811/in-love-ro…

Foy, K. (2017, Oct 6), 6 Things That Seem Really Romantic in Your Relationship, But Are Actually Dangerous. https://www.alliant.edu/blog/dangerous-disease-love

How Romanticism Ruined Love (n.a. & n.d.) https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/how-romanticism-ruined-lo…

Langrial, D. (2020, Nov 6). Being Romantic Is the Most Dangerous Thing a Man or Woman Can Do. https://medium.com/illumination/being-romantic-is-the-most-dangerous-th…

Raypole, C. (2020, Aug 5). 15 Ways Love Affects Your Brain and Body. https://www.healthline.com/health/relationships/effects-of-love

Seltzer, L. F. (2013, Jun 21). How Rational Are “Rational” Marriages? https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolution-the-self/201306/how-r…

Seltzer, L. F. (2017, Sept 1). 15 Reasons to Be Wary About Falling in Love. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolution-the-self/201709/15-re…

Seltzer, L. F. (2021, Aug 12). 10 More Reasons Why Romantic Love Can Be So Dangerous. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/node/1165305/preview

Shorr, L. (2021, Apr 20). It Must Be Love on the Brain: The Neuroscience of Love. http://www.stitchfashion.com/home//love-on-the-brain

Villasenor, C. (n.d.). The Dangerous Disease that is Love. https://www.alliant.edu/blog/dangerous-disease-love

Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D. , is the author of Paradoxical Strategies in Psychotherapy and The Vision of Melville and Conrad . He holds doctorates in English and Psychology. As of mid-July 2024, Dr. Seltzer has published some 590 posts, which have received over 54 million views.

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Tainted love

Love is both a wonderful thing and a cunning evolutionary trick to control us. a dangerous cocktail in the wrong hands.

by Anna Machin   + BIO

We can all agree that, on balance, and taking everything into account, love is a wonderful thing. For many, it is the point of life. I have spent more than a decade researching the science behind human love and, rather than becoming immune to its charms, I am increasingly in awe of its complexity and its importance to us. It infiltrates every fibre of our being and every aspect of our daily lives. It is the most important factor in our mental and physical health, our longevity and our life satisfaction. And regardless of who the object of our love is – lover or friend, dog or god – these effects are largely underpinned, in the first instance, by the set of addictive neurochemicals supporting the bonds we create: oxytocin, dopamine, beta-endorphin and serotonin.

This suite of chemicals makes us feel euphoric and calm, they draw us towards those we love, and reward us for investing in our relationships, even when the going gets tough. Love feels wonderful but ultimately it is a form of biological bribery, a cunning evolutionary trick to make sure we cooperate and those all-important genes continue down the generations. The joy it brings is wonderful but is merely a side-effect. Its goal is to ensure our survival, and for this reason happiness is not always its end point. Alongside its joys, there exists a dark side.

Love is ultimately about control. It’s about using chemical bribery to make sure we stick around, cooperate and invest in each other, and particularly in the survival-critical relationships we have with our lovers, children and close friends. This is an evolutionary control of which we are hardly aware, and it brings many positive benefits.

But the addictive nature of these chemicals, and our visceral need for them, means that love also has a dark side. It can be used as a tool of exploitation, manipulation and abuse. Indeed, in part what may separate human love from the love experienced by other animals is that we can use love to manipulate and control others. Our desire to believe in the fairy tale means we rarely acknowledge the undercurrents but, as a scholar of love, I would be negligent if I did not consider it. Arguably our greatest and most intense life experience can be used against us, sometimes leading us to continue relationships with negative consequences in direct opposition to our survival.

We are all experts in love. The science I write about is always grounded in the lived experience of my subjects whose thoughts I collect as keenly as their empirical data. It might be the voice of the new father as he describes holding his firstborn, or the Catholic nun explaining how she works to maintain her relationship with God, or the aromantic detailing what it’s like living in a world apparently obsessed with the romantic love that they do not feel. I begin every interview in the same way, by asking what they think love is. Their answers are often surprising, always illuminating and invariably positive, and remind me that not all the answers to what love is can be found on the scanner screen or in the lab. But I will also ask them to consider whether love can ever be negative. The vast majority say no for, if love has a darker side, it is not love, and this is an interesting point to contemplate. But if they do acknowledge the possibility of love having a less sunny side, their go-to example is jealousy.

J ealousy is an emotion and, as with all emotions, it evolved to protect us, to alert us to a potential benefit or threat. It works its magic at three levels: the emotional, the cognitive and the behavioural. Physiology also throws its hat into the ring making you feel nauseous, faint or flushed. When we feel jealousy , it is generally urging us to do one of three things: to cut off the rival, to prevent our partner’s defection by redoubling our efforts, or to cut our losses and leave the relationship. All have evolved to make sure we balance the costs and benefits of the relationship. Investing time, energy and reproductive effort in the wrong partner is seriously damaging to your reproductive legacy and chances of survival. But what do we perceive to be a jealousy-inducing threat? The answer very much depends on your gender.

Men and women experience jealousy with the same intensity. However, there is a stark difference when it comes to what causes each to be jealous. One of the pioneers of human mating research is the American evolutionary psychologist David Buss and, in his book The Evolution of Desire (1994), he details numerous experiments that have highlighted this gender difference. In one study, in which subjects were asked to read different scenarios detailing incidences of sexual and emotional infidelity, 83 per cent of women found the emotional scenario the most jealousy-inducing, whereas only 40 per cent of men found this to be of concern. In contrast, 60 per cent of men found sexual infidelity difficult to deal with, compared with a significantly smaller percentage of women: 17 per cent.

Men also feel a much more extreme physiological response to sexual infidelity than women do. Hooking them up to monitors that measure skin conductance, muscle contraction and heartrate shows that men experience significant increases in heartrate, sweating and frowning when confronted with sexual infidelity, but the monitor readouts hardly flicker if their partner has become emotionally involved with a rival.

The reason for this difference sits with the different resources that men and women bring to the mating game. Broadly, men bring their resources and protection; women bring their womb. If a woman is sexually unfaithful and becomes pregnant with another man’s child, she has withdrawn the opportunity from her partner to father a child with her for at least nine months. Hence, he is the most concerned about sexual infidelity. In contrast, women are more concerned about emotional infidelity because this suggests that, if their partner does make a rival pregnant and becomes emotionally involved with her, his partner risks having to share his protection and resources with another, meaning that her children receive less of the pie.

To understand someone’s emotional needs means you can use that intelligence to control them

Jealousy is an evolved response to threats to our reproductive success and survival – of self, children and genes. In many cases, it is of positive benefit to those who experience it as it shines a light on the threat and enables us to decide what is best. But in some cases, jealousy gets out of hand.

Emotional intelligence sits at the core of healthy relationships. To truly deliver the benefits of the relationship to our partner, we must understand and meet their emotional needs as they must understand and meet ours. But, as with love, this skill has a darker side because to understand someone’s emotional needs presents the possibility that you can use that intelligence to control them. While we may all admit to using this skill for the wrong reasons every now and again – perhaps to get that sofa we desire or the holiday destination we prefer – for some, it is their go-to mechanism where relationships are concerned.

The most adept proponents of this skill are those who possess the Dark Triad of personality traits: Machiavellianism , psychopathy and narcissism . The first relies on using emotional intelligence to manipulate others, the second to toy with other’s feelings, and the third to denigrate others with the aim of glorifying oneself. For these people, characterised by exploitative, manipulative and callous personalities, emotional intelligence is the route to a set of mate-retention behaviours that certainly meet their goals but are less than beneficial to those whom they profess to love. Indeed, research has shown that a relationship with such a person leaves you open to a significantly greater risk that your love will be returned with abuse.

In 2018, the psychologist Razieh Chegeni and her team set out to explore whether a link existed between the Dark Triad and relationship abuse. Participants were identified as having the Dark Triad personality by expressing their degree of agreement with statements such as ‘I tend to want others to admire me’ (narcissism), ‘I tend to be unconcerned with the morality of my actions’ (psychopathy) and ‘I tend to exploit others to my own end’ (Machiavellianism). They then had to indicate to what extent they used a range of mate-retention behaviours, including ‘snooped through my partner’s personal belongings’, ‘talked to another man/woman at a party to make my partner jealous’, ‘bought my partner an expensive gift’ and ‘slapped a man who made a pass at my partner’.

The results were clear. Having a Dark Triad personality, whether you were a man or a woman, significantly increased the likelihood that ‘cost-inflicting mate-retention behaviours’ were your go-to mechanism when trying to retain your partner. These are behaviours that level an emotional, physical, practical and/or psychological cost on the partner such as physical or emotional abuse, coercive control or controlling access to food or money. Interestingly, however, these individuals did not employ this tactic all the time. There was nuance in their behaviour. Costly behaviours were peppered with rare incidences of gift giving or caretaking, so-called beneficial mate-retention behaviours. Why? Because the unpredictability of their behaviour caused psychological destabilisation in their partner and enabled them to assert further control through a practice we now identify as gaslighting .

The question remains – if these people are so destructive, why does their personality type persist in our population? Because, while their behaviour may harm those who are unfortunate enough to be close to them, they themselves must gain some survival advantage, which means that their traits persist in the population. It is true that no trait can be said to be 100 per cent beneficial, and here is a perfect example of where evolution is truly working at cross purposes.

N ot all Dark Triad personalities are abusers but the presence of abuse within our closest relationships is a very real phenomenon, the understanding of which continues to evolve and grow. Whereas we might have once imagined an abuser as someone who controlled their partner with their fists, we are now aware that abuse comes in many guises including emotional, psychological, reproductive and financial.

The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) questioned both men and women in the United States about the incidences of domestic violence they had experienced in their lifetime. Looking at severe physical abuse alone – which means being punched, slammed, kicked, burned, choked, beaten or attacked with a weapon – one in five women and one in seven men reported at least one incidence in their lifetime. If we consider emotional abuse, then the statistics for men and women are closer – more than 43 million women and 38 million men have experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

It is hard to imagine that, having experienced such a litany of abuse, anyone could believe that love remained within their relationship. But here the power of the lived experience, of allowing everyone to have their ideas about love becomes clearer. Because, while we have many scientific tools to explore love objectively, at the end of the day, there is always an element of our experience of love that is subjective, that another cannot touch. This is no more powerfully evidenced than by the testimony of those who have experienced intimate partner violence. In 2013, three mental health nurses, led by Marilyn Smith in West Virginia, explored what love meant to 19 women who were experiencing, or had experienced, intimate partner violence. For them, this kind of abuse included, but was not limited to, ‘slapping, intimidation, shaming, forced intercourse, isolation, monitoring behaviours, restricting access to healthcare, opposing or interfering with school or employment, and making decisions concerning contraception, pregnancy, and elective abortion’.

Our cultural ideas of romantic love have a role to play in trapping women in abusive relationships

It was clear from the transcripts that all the women knew what love wasn’t: being hurt and fearful, being controlled and having a lack of trust and a lack of support or concern for their welfare. And it was clear that they all knew what love should be: built on a foundation of respect and understanding, of support and encouragement, of commitment, loyalty and trust. But despite this clear understanding of the stark difference between the ideal and their reality, many of these women still believed that love existed within their relationship. Some hoped the power of their love would change the behaviour of their partner, others said their sense of attachment made them stay. Some feared losing love, however flawed; and, if they left, might they not land in a relationship where their treatment was even worse? A lot of the time, cultural messaging had reinforced strongly held beliefs about the supremacy of the nuclear family, making victims reluctant to leave in case they ultimately harmed their children’s life chances. While it can be hard to understand these arguments – surely a non-nuclear setup is preferable to the harm inflicted on a child by the observation of intimate partner abuse – I strongly believe that this population has as much right to their definition and experience of love as any of us.

In fact, the cultural messages we hear about romantic love – from the media, religion, parents and family – not only potentially trap us in ‘ideal’ family units: they may also play a role in our susceptibility to experiencing intimate partner abuse. This view of reproductive love, once confined to Western culture, is now the predominant narrative globally. From a young age, we speak of ‘the one’, we consume stories of young people finding love against all the odds, of sacrifice, of being consumed. It is arguable that these narratives are unhelpful generally as the reality, while wonderful, is considerably more complex, involving light and shade. But research has shown that these stories may have more significant consequences when we consider their role in intimate partner abuse.

South Africa has one of the highest rates of partner abuse against women in the world. In their 2017 paper , Shakila Singh and Thembeka Myende explored the role of resilience in female students at risk of abuse, which is prevalent at a high rate on South African university campuses. Their paper ranges widely over the role of resilience in resisting and surviving partner abuse, but what is of interest to me is the 15 women’s ideas about how our cultural ideas of romantic love have a role to play in trapping women in abusive relationships. These women’s arguments are powerful and made me rethink the fairy-tale. Singh and Myende point to the romantic idea that love overcomes all obstacles and must be maintained at all costs, even when abuse makes these costs life-threateningly high. Or the idea that love is about losing control, being swept off your feet, having no say in who you fall for, even if they turn out to be an abuser. Or that lovers protect each other, fight for each other to the end, even if the person who is being protected, usually from the authorities, is violent or coercive. Or the belief that love is blind and we are incapable of seeing our partner’s faults, despite them often being glaringly obvious to anyone outside the relationship.

It is these cultural ideas about romantic love, the women argue, that lead to the erosion of a woman’s power to leave or entirely avoid an abusive partner. Add these ideas to the powerful physiological and psychological need we have for love, and you leave an open goal for the abuser.

L ove is the focus of so much science, philosophy and literary rumination because we struggle to define it, to predict its next move. Thanks to our biology and the reproductive mandate of evolution, love has long controlled us. But what if we could control love?

What if a magic potion existed that could induce us, or another, to fall in love or even wipe away the memories of a failed relationship? It is a quest as ancient as the first writings 5,000 years ago and the focus of many literary endeavours, including Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream – who can forget Titania’s love for the ass-headed Bottom – and Wagner’s opera Tristan and Isolde . Even in a world where science has largely usurped magic, type ‘love potions’ into Google and the first two questions are: ‘How do you make a love potion?’ and ‘Do love potions actually work?’

But today we know enough about the chemistry of love for the elixir to be within our grasp. And we don’t have to look very far for our first candidate: synthetic oxytocin, used right now as an induction drug in labour. We know from extensive research in social neuroscience that artificial oxytocin also increases prosociality, trust and cooperation. Squirt it up the nose of new parents and it increases positive parenting behaviours. Oxytocin, as released by the brain when we are attracted to someone, is vital for the first stages of love because it quiets the fear centre of your brain and lowers your inhibitions to forming new relationships. Would a squirt up the nose do the same before you head out on a Saturday night?

The other possibility is MDMA or ecstasy, which mimics the neurochemical of long-term love, beta-endorphin. Recreational users of ecstasy report that it makes them feel boundless love for their fellow clubbers and increases their empathy. Researchers in the US have reported encouraging results when MDMA was used in marriage therapy to increase empathy, allowing participants to gain further insight into each other’s needs and find common ground.

Love drugs could end up being yet another form of abuse

Both of these sound like promising candidates but there are still issues to iron out and ethical discussions to have. How effective they are is highly context dependent. Based on their genetics , some people do exactly what is predicted of them. Boundaries are lowered and love sensations abound. But for a significant minority, particularly when it comes to oxytocin, people do exactly the opposite of what we would expect. For some, a dose of oxytocin, while increasing bonds with those they perceive to be in their in-group, increases feelings of ethnocentrism – racism – toward the out-group.

MDMA has other issues . For some people, it simply does not work. But the bigger problem is that the effects endure only while usage continues; anecdotal evidence suggests that, if you stop, the feelings of love and empathy disappear. This raises questions of practicality and ethical issues surrounding power imbalance. If you commenced a relationship while taking MDMA, would you have to continue? What if you were in a relationship with someone who had taken MDMA and you didn’t know? What would happen if they stopped? And could someone be induced to take MDMA against their will?

The ethical conversation around love drugs is complex. On one side are those who argue that taking a love drug is no more controversial than an antidepressant. Both alter your brain chemistry and, given the strong relationship between love and good mental and physical health, surely it is important that we use all the tools at our disposal to help people succeed? But maybe an anecdote from the book Love Is the Drug (2020) by Brian Earp and Julian Savulescu will give you pause. They describe SSRI prescriptions used to suppress the sexual urges of young male yeshiva students, to ensure that they comply with Jewish orthodox religious law – no sex before marriage, and definitely no homosexuality.

Could such drugs gain wider traction in repressive regimes as a weapon against what some perceive to be immoral forms of love? Remember that 71 countries still deem homosexuality to be illegal. It is not a massive leap of imagination to envisage the use of SSRIs to ‘cure’ people of this ‘affliction’. We only have to look at the continued existence of conversion therapy to see that this is a distinct possibility. Love drugs could end up being yet another form of abuse over which the individual has very little control.

Evolution saw fit to give us love to ensure we would continue to form and maintain the cooperative relationships that are our route to personal and, most crucially, genetic survival. It can be the source of euphoric happiness, calm contentment and much-needed security, but this is not its point. Love is merely the sweet treat handed to you by your babysitter to make sure the goal is achieved. Combine the ultimate evolutionary aim of love with our visceral need for it and the quick intelligence of our brains, and you have the recipe for a darker side to emerge. Some of this darker side is adaptive but, for those who experience it, it rarely ends well. At the very least there is pain – physical, psychological, financial – and, at the most, there is death, and the grief of those we leave behind.

Maybe it is time to rewrite the stories we tell ourselves about love because the danger on the horizon is not the dragon that needs to be slain by the knight to save the beautiful princess but the presence of some who mean to use its powers for their gain and our considerable loss. Like all of us, love is a complex beast: only by embracing it in its entirety do we truly understand it, and ourselves. And this means understanding its evolutionary story, the good and the bad.

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Home — Essay Samples — Literature — Romeo and Juliet — Romeo and Juliet: The Tragedy of Forbidden Love

Romeo and Juliet: The Tragedy of Forbidden Love

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Published: Mar 6, 2024

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Introduction, the power of love, the role of fate, the tragic flaw, the role of society.

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“These violent delights have violent ends,” says Friar Laurence in an attempt to warn Romeo , early on in the play, of the dangers of falling in love too hard or too fast. In the world of Romeo and Juliet , love is not pretty or idealized—it is chaotic and dangerous. Throughout the play, love is connected through word and action with violence, and Romeo and Juliet ’s deepest mutual expression of love occurs when the “star-crossed lovers take their life.” By connecting love with pain and ultimately with suicide, Shakespeare suggests that there is an inherent sense of violence in many of the physical and emotional facets of expressing love—a chaotic and complex emotion very different from the serene, idealized sweetness it’s so often portrayed as being.

There are countless instances throughout Romeo and Juliet in which love and violence are connected. After their marriage, Juliet imagines in detail the passion she and Romeo will share on their wedding night, and invokes the Elizabethan characterization of orgasm as a small death or “petite mort”—she looks forward to the moment she will “die” and see Romeo’s face reflected in the stars above her. When Romeo overhears Juliet say that she wishes he were not a Montague so that they could be together, he declares that his name is “hateful” and offers to write it down on a piece of paper just so he can rip it up and obliterate it—and, along with it, his very identity, and sense of self as part of the Montague family. When Juliet finds out that her parents, ignorant of her secret marriage to Romeo, have arranged for her to marry Paris , she goes to Friar Laurence’s chambers with a knife, threatening to kill herself if he is unable to come up with a plan that will allow her to escape her second marriage. All of these examples represent just a fraction of the instances in which language and action conspire to render love as a “violent delight” whose “violent ends” result in danger, injury, and even death. Feeling oneself in the throes of love, Shakespeare suggests, is tumultuous and destabilizing enough—but the real violence of love, he argues, emerges in the many ways of expressing love.

Emotional and verbal expressions of love are the ones most frequently deployed throughout the play. Romeo and Juliet wax poetic about their great love for each other—and the misery they feel as a result of that love—over and over again, and at great lengths. Often, one of their friends or servants must cut them off mid-speech—otherwise, Shakespeare seems to suggest, Romeo and Juliet would spend hours trying to wrestle their feelings into words. Though Romeo and Juliet say lovely things about one another, to be sure, their speeches about each other, or about love more broadly, are almost always tinged with violence, which illustrates their chaotic passion for each other and their desire to mow down anything that stands in its way. When Romeo, for instance, spots Juliet at her window in the famous “balcony scene” in Act 2, Scene 2, he wills her to come closer by whispering, “Arise, fair sun ”—a beautiful metaphor of his love and desire for Juliet—and quickly follows his entreaty with the dangerous language “and kill the envious moon, Who is already sick and pale with grief.” Juliet’s “sun”-like radiance makes Romeo want her to “kill” the moon (or Rosaline ,) his former love and her rival in beauty and glory, so that Juliet can reign supreme over his heart. Later on in the play, when the arrival of dawn brings an end to Romeo and Juliet’s first night together as man and wife, Juliet invokes the symbol of a lark’s song—traditionally a symbol of love and sweetness—as a violent, ill-meaning presence which seeks to pull Romeo and Juliet apart, “arm from arm,” and “hunt” Romeo out of Juliet’s chambers. Romeo calls love a “rough” thing which “pricks” him like a thorn; Juliet says that if she could love and possess Romeo in the way she wants to, as if he were her pet bird, she would “kill [him] with much cherishing.” The way the two young lovers at the heart of the play speak about love shows an enormously violent undercurrent to their emotions—as they attempt to name their feelings and express themselves, they resort to violence-tinged speech to convey the enormity of their emotions.

Physical expressions of love throughout the play also carry violent connotations. From Romeo and Juliet’s first kiss, described by each of them as a “sin” and a “trespass,” to their last, in which Juliet seeks to kill herself by sucking remnants of poison from the dead Romeo’s lips, the way Romeo and Juliet conceive of the physical and sexual aspects of love are inextricable from how they conceive of violence. Juliet looks forward to “dying” in Romeo’s arms—again, one Elizabethan meaning of the phrase “to die” is to orgasm—while Romeo, just after drinking a vial of poison so lethal a few drops could kill 20 men, chooses to kiss Juliet as his dying act. The violence associated with these acts of sensuality and physical touch furthers Shakespeare’s argument that attempts to adequately express the chaotic, overwhelming, and confusing feelings of intense passion often lead to a commingling with violence.

Violent expressions of love are at the heart of Romeo and Juliet . In presenting and interrogating them, Shakespeare shows his audiences—in the Elizabethan area, the present day, and the centuries in-between—that love is not pleasant, reserved, cordial, or sweet. Rather, it is a violent and all-consuming force. As lovers especially those facing obstacles and uncertainties like the ones Romeo and Juliet encounter, struggle to express their love, there may be eruptions of violence both between the lovers themselves and within the communities of which they’re a part.

Love and Violence ThemeTracker

Love and Violence Quotes in Romeo and Juliet

Two households, both alike in dignity, In fair Verona, where we lay our scene, From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean. From forth the fatal loins of these two foes, A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life; Whose misadventured piteous overthrows, Doth with their death bury their parents' strife. The fearful passage of their death-mark'd love, And the continuance of their parents' rage, Which, but their children's end, nought could remove, Is now the two hours' traffic of our stage; The which if you with patient ears attend, What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend.

Why then, O brawling love! O loving hate! O any thing, of nothing first created; O heavy lightness! serious vanity! Mis-shapen chaos of well-seeming forms!

Oh, she doth teach the torches to burn bright! It seems she hangs upon the cheek of night Like a rich jewel in an Ethiope's ear, Beauty too rich for use, for earth too dear. So shows a snowy dove trooping with crows As yonder lady o'er her fellows shows. The measure done, I'll watch her place of stand, And, touching hers, make blessèd my rude hand. Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight! For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night.

You kiss by th’ book.

My only love sprung from my only hate! Too early seen unknown, and known too late!

But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun!

O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name; Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, And I'll no longer be a Capulet.

'Tis but thy name that is my enemy; — Thou art thyself though, not a Montague. What's Montague? It is nor hand, nor foot, Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part Belonging to a man. O, be some other name! What's in a name? That which we call a rose, By any other word would smell as sweet; So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd, Retain that dear perfection which he owes Without that title: — Romeo, doff thy name; And for thy name, which is no part of thee, Take all myself.

I take thee at thy word: Call me but love, and I'll be new baptis'd; Henceforth I never will be Romeo.

O, swear not by the moon, the inconstant moon, That monthly changes in her circled orb, Lest that thy love prove likewise variable.

Good-night, good-night! Parting is such sweet sorrow That I shall say good-night till it be morrow.

Romeo, the hate I bear thee can afford No better term than this: thou art a villain.

Romeo: Courage, man; the hurt cannot be much. Mercutio: No, 'tis not so deep as a well, nor so wide as a church-door; but 'tis enough, 'twill serve: ask for me to-morrow, and you shall find me a grave man.

O, I am fortune's fool!

Come, gentle night, — come, loving black brow'd night, Give me my Romeo; and when he shall die, Take him and cut him out in little stars, And he will make the face of Heaven so fine That all the world will be in love with night, And pay no worship to the garish sun.

Wilt thou be gone? it is not yet near day. It was the nightingale, and not the lark, That pierc'd the fearful hollow of thine ear; Nightly she sings on yond pomegranate tree. Believe me love, it was the nightingale.

Is there no pity sitting in the clouds That sees into the bottom of my grief? O sweet my mother, cast me not away! Delay this marriage for a month, a week, Or if you do not, make the bridal bed In that dim monument where Tybalt lies.

Or bid me go into a new-made grave, And hide me with a dead man in his shroud - Things that, to hear them told, have made me tremble - And I will do it without fear or doubt, To live an unstain'd wife to my sweet love.

Then I defy you, stars!

O true apothecary! Thy drugs are quick. — Thus with a kiss I die.

Yea, noise, then I'll be brief; O, happy dagger! This is thy sheath; there rest, and let me die.

For never was a story of more woe Than this of Juliet and her Romeo.

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Dangerous Love: A Novel

528 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1996

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Essay Samples on Teenage Love

If you’re looking to write a teenage love essay or a teenage relationships essay, you’re not alone. These topics are popular among students and for a good reason. Teenagers are at a critical stage in their lives where they experience a range of emotions, including love, which can have a significant impact on their emotional and psychological development.

When writing an essay about teenage love, it’s important to consider the various factors that can influence how teenagers view romantic relationships. Peer pressure, social media, and cultural norms are all factors that can shape the way young people approach love and relationships.

Moreover, exploring the effects of teenage love on individuals’ mental health and emotional well-being is another crucial component of a teenage love essay. While falling in love can be a positive experience, it can also lead to anxiety, stress, and depression in some cases.

When writing a teenage relationships essay, consider discussing the importance of communication, mutual respect, and empathy in healthy relationships. It’s also important to explore how unhealthy relationships can impact teenagers’ emotional and psychological well-being.

By examining the various factors that contribute to successful and unsuccessful romantic relationships among teenagers, you can provide valuable insights into this complex and often challenging topic.

In conclusion, writing an essay about teenage love and relationships can be a fascinating and rewarding experience. By exploring the different factors that shape young people’s views on love and relationships, you can provide valuable insights into this critical period of their lives. If you’re struggling to come up with a topic or need help crafting a compelling essay, consider using our platform. We offer a wide range of free essays, including essays about teenage love and relationships, that can provide inspiration and guidance for your own writing.

Reflections on Love and Digital Age in 'Brooklyn'

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Romeo And Juliet Theme In The Great Gatsby

Themes of Romeo and Juliet and the more relatable Jack and Rose from Titanic are examples of star-crossed lovers whose relationships were doomed, with Destiny scoffing at the glow of young love. Their unions were thwarted by obstacles and ultimately ended in tragedy, thus reinforcing...

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The Inevitable Tragedy of Romeo in Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet

William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet is an unforgettable tale of two young lovers caught in a bitter feud between their families. While the play is widely recognized as a story of love and tragedy, it is equally important to understand why the death of Romeo...

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The Three Advantages of Teenage Love

Everyone might experience a captivating relationship during adolescence. Normally the relationship we call early love is known as a crush and romantic love relationship between teenagers during adolescence, especially in high school. We also call it puppy love popularly. In the 1920s, American media widely...

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As a teen, love is confusing but love is also a beautiful thing that can be an enjoyable one not the painful one. Us, teenagers by this time we are testing the depth of our emotions, we are testing how comfortable we are to each...

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"Romeo and Juliet": A Teenage Infatuation Mistaken for Love

There are many differences between teenage infatuation and true love. Teenage infatuation is a short-lived adoration or longing for someone while love is a lasting adoration and longing for someone. This short-lived emotion is selfish, instantaneous, and impulsive. It is based solely on physical attraction...

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Best topics on Teenage Love

1. Reflections on Love and Digital Age in ‘Brooklyn’

2. Romeo And Juliet Theme In The Great Gatsby

3. The Inevitable Tragedy of Romeo in Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet

4. The Three Advantages of Teenage Love

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6. “Romeo and Juliet”: A Teenage Infatuation Mistaken for Love

7. How to Deal With Teenage Pregnancies Problem Among Teenagers

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" A Dangerous Love " : Ben Okri's Persisting Commitment to Literary Experimentation

A once high-profile post-colonial writer, it is noticeable that the London-Nigerian novelist and essayist Ben Okri has all but dropped out of view as far as the literary establishment is concerned. While his earlier works still receive much academic attention and are deemed highly influential, critical engagements with his later fiction are almost non-existent. With this in mind, our aim is to map out the many transformations the author’s work has gone through and offer explanations as to the reasons behind certain negative receptions of the author’s work. To understand the new directions the author’s current writings have taken, one must analyse the totality of his novelistic writings as a single collective body striving towards a sustained renovation of the literary form. Our premise is that this experimentation might, contrary to its aim, be hampering the author’s success, and our study shall, therefore, examine in detail the experimental nature of these later works and offer a series of perceptions as to their possible shortcomings.

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Exploring the Perils of Passion: A Review of Dangerous Love (1996) by Ben Okri

In his 1996 book Dangerous Love, Nigerian author Ben Okri delves into the complex and often perilous nature of love. Through a series of interconnected stories set in Lagos, Okri explores the ways in which love can bring both joy and pain, and how it can be both a source of liberation and a trap. This review will examine Okri’s portrayal of love in Dangerous Love, and consider the book’s wider themes and messages.

Themes of Dangerous Love

One of the central themes of Dangerous Love is the idea that love can be a dangerous and destructive force. The novel explores the ways in which love can lead people to make irrational decisions and engage in destructive behavior. This theme is exemplified in the character of Omovo, who becomes obsessed with his love for Ifeyi, a woman who is already married. Omovo’s obsession with Ifeyi leads him to engage in reckless behavior, including stealing and violence. The novel also explores the idea that love can be a source of power and control, as seen in the character of Ifeyi’s husband, Osifo, who uses his love for her as a means of exerting control over her. Overall, Dangerous Love offers a complex and nuanced exploration of the perils of passion, highlighting the ways in which love can both inspire and destroy.

Analysis of Characters

In Dangerous Love, Ben Okri presents a cast of characters whose passions lead them down dangerous paths. The protagonist, Omovo, is a young artist who becomes infatuated with a mysterious woman named Ifeyiwa. His obsession with her leads him to neglect his own art and become entangled in a web of deceit and violence. Ifeyiwa herself is a complex character, with a past shrouded in mystery and a present filled with secrets. The novel also features a cast of supporting characters, including Omovo’s friend Kola and Ifeyiwa’s husband, who add depth and complexity to the story. Through his portrayal of these characters, Okri explores the ways in which passion can both inspire and destroy, and the dangers of becoming too consumed by one’s desires.

Okri’s Writing Style

Okri’s writing style in Dangerous Love is both poetic and philosophical. He weaves together vivid imagery and introspective musings to create a hauntingly beautiful narrative. His use of language is masterful, with each sentence carefully crafted to convey a deeper meaning. Okri’s writing is not just about telling a story, but about exploring the human condition and the complexities of love. He delves into the darker aspects of passion, exposing the perils that come with it. Through his writing, Okri challenges readers to question their own beliefs about love and the sacrifices they are willing to make for it. Overall, Okri’s writing style in Dangerous Love is a testament to his skill as a writer and his ability to create a thought-provoking and emotionally resonant story.

The Role of Fate in the Novel

In Dangerous Love, Ben Okri explores the role of fate in the lives of his characters. The novel is set in Nigeria during the 1970s, a time of political upheaval and social change. The main characters, Omovo and Ifeyiwa, are young lovers who are caught up in the tumultuous events of their time. They are both passionate and idealistic, but their love is threatened by the forces of fate that seem to be working against them. Okri uses the theme of fate to explore the idea that our lives are not entirely within our control, and that we are often at the mercy of forces beyond our understanding. Through the experiences of Omovo and Ifeyiwa, Okri shows us how love can be both a source of joy and a source of pain, and how the choices we make can have far-reaching consequences. Ultimately, Dangerous Love is a powerful meditation on the human condition, and a testament to the enduring power of love in the face of adversity.

Exploring the Concept of Love

Love is a complex and multifaceted concept that has been explored in literature, art, and philosophy for centuries. It is a feeling that can bring immense joy and happiness, but it can also lead to heartbreak and pain. In his novel Dangerous Love, Ben Okri delves into the darker side of love and the perils that can come with it. The book tells the story of a young couple, Omovo and Ifeyiwa, who fall deeply in love but are faced with numerous obstacles that threaten to tear them apart. Through their struggles, Okri explores the idea that love can be both beautiful and dangerous, and that it is often difficult to navigate the complexities of human relationships. As readers follow Omovo and Ifeyiwa’s journey, they are forced to confront their own ideas about love and the risks that come with it. Ultimately, Dangerous Love is a powerful exploration of the human heart and the many ways in which it can be both a source of joy and a source of pain.

The Dangers of Obsession

Obsession can be a dangerous thing. It can consume a person’s thoughts and actions, leading them down a path of destruction. In his novel Dangerous Love, Ben Okri explores the perils of passion and the consequences of obsession. The characters in the novel are driven by their desires, and their actions have devastating consequences. Okri’s novel serves as a cautionary tale, warning readers of the dangers of obsession and the importance of self-control. Whether it be an obsession with a person, an idea, or a goal, it is important to maintain a healthy balance and not let our passions consume us. The characters in Dangerous Love learn this lesson the hard way, and their experiences serve as a reminder to us all to be mindful of our own obsessions.

Symbolism in Dangerous Love

Symbolism plays a significant role in Ben Okri’s Dangerous Love. The novel is filled with various symbols that add depth and meaning to the story. One of the most prominent symbols in the novel is the river. The river represents the flow of life and the journey that the characters must take. It is also a symbol of danger and uncertainty, as the characters must navigate through the treacherous waters to reach their destination. Another important symbol in the novel is the snake. The snake represents temptation and danger, as it is a creature that can be both beautiful and deadly. The snake is also a symbol of transformation, as it sheds its skin and emerges anew. These symbols, along with others in the novel, add layers of meaning to the story and help to create a rich and complex narrative.

Comparing Dangerous Love to Okri’s Other Works

When comparing Dangerous Love to Ben Okri’s other works, it becomes clear that the themes of love, passion, and the human condition are recurring motifs in his writing. However, what sets Dangerous Love apart is its focus on the dangers of love and how it can lead to destruction and chaos. This is a departure from Okri’s more mystical and magical works, such as The Famished Road and Songs of Enchantment, which explore the spiritual and supernatural realms.

In Dangerous Love, Okri delves into the complexities of human relationships and the consequences of giving in to our desires. The novel is set against the backdrop of political turmoil in Nigeria, and Okri uses this as a metaphor for the tumultuous nature of love. The characters are caught up in a web of passion, jealousy, and betrayal, and their actions have far-reaching consequences.

While Dangerous Love may not be as well-known as some of Okri’s other works, it is a powerful and thought-provoking novel that deserves more attention. It showcases Okri’s ability to explore the human psyche and the darker aspects of our nature, and it is a testament to his skill as a writer. Overall, Dangerous Love is a must-read for fans of Okri’s work and anyone interested in exploring the perils of passion.

Impact of the Setting on the Story

The setting of Dangerous Love plays a crucial role in shaping the story and its characters. The novel is set in Lagos, Nigeria, during a time of political and social upheaval. The city is portrayed as chaotic, dangerous, and unpredictable, with poverty and corruption rampant. This setting creates a sense of tension and unease throughout the novel, as the characters navigate their way through a world that is constantly changing and often hostile.

The setting also reflects the themes of the novel, particularly the dangers of passion and the consequences of obsession. Lagos is a city of extremes, where love and hate, hope and despair, are all heightened. The characters are driven by their desires, whether it be for power, money, or love, and the setting amplifies the intensity of these emotions.

Furthermore, the setting of Lagos is integral to the character development of the protagonist, Omovo. As a young artist, Omovo is drawn to the vibrant and chaotic city, but as he becomes more involved in the dangerous world of politics and corruption, he begins to see the darker side of Lagos. The city becomes a symbol of his own inner turmoil, as he struggles to reconcile his passion for art with his growing disillusionment with the world around him.

Overall, the setting of Dangerous Love is a powerful and evocative element of the novel, shaping the story and its characters in profound ways. It is a testament to Ben Okri’s skill as a writer that he is able to create such a vivid and compelling portrait of Lagos, and use it to explore complex themes of love, obsession, and the human condition.

The Use of Magical Realism in Dangerous Love

In Dangerous Love, Ben Okri employs the literary technique of magical realism to explore the complexities of love and its perils. Magical realism is a genre that blends the real and the fantastical, creating a world where the supernatural and the ordinary coexist. Okri uses this technique to create a dreamlike atmosphere that blurs the lines between reality and imagination. The novel is set in a fictional African city, where the characters are confronted with a series of surreal events that challenge their beliefs and perceptions. The use of magical realism allows Okri to delve into the psychological and emotional aspects of love, portraying it as a force that can both heal and destroy. The novel’s protagonist, Omovo, is a young artist who falls in love with an enigmatic woman named Ifeyiwa. Their relationship is fraught with danger and uncertainty, as they navigate the complexities of their feelings and the social and political turmoil of their city. Through the use of magical realism, Okri creates a world that is both familiar and strange, where the boundaries between love and madness are blurred. The novel’s ending is both tragic and hopeful, as Omovo comes to terms with the consequences of his actions and the power of love to transform and transcend. Overall, Dangerous Love is a powerful exploration of the human heart and its capacity for both beauty and destruction.

Exploring the Themes of Betrayal and Revenge

Betrayal and revenge are two themes that are intricately woven into the fabric of Dangerous Love by Ben Okri. The novel explores the consequences of betrayal and the lengths to which individuals will go to exact revenge. The characters in the novel are driven by their passions, which ultimately lead them down a path of destruction. The theme of betrayal is evident in the relationships between the characters, particularly in the love triangle between the protagonist, Omovo, his lover, Ifeyiwa, and her husband, Osifo. The betrayal of trust and loyalty leads to a series of events that ultimately result in tragedy. The theme of revenge is also prevalent in the novel, as the characters seek to avenge the wrongs that have been done to them. The desire for revenge consumes the characters, leading them to commit acts of violence and destruction. The novel serves as a cautionary tale about the dangers of passion and the destructive consequences of betrayal and revenge.

The Significance of Dreams in the Novel

In Dangerous Love, dreams play a significant role in the development of the story and the characters. The dreams are not just random occurrences, but rather they serve as a means of foreshadowing events and revealing the inner thoughts and emotions of the characters. The dreams are often surreal and symbolic, adding to the overall mystical and magical tone of the novel. Okri uses dreams to explore the themes of love, passion, and the dangers that come with them. The dreams also serve as a reminder that reality is not always what it seems and that there is a deeper, more profound meaning to life. Overall, the significance of dreams in Dangerous Love cannot be overstated, as they add depth and complexity to the story and the characters, making it a truly unforgettable read.

Analysis of the Ending

The ending of Dangerous Love by Ben Okri is both satisfying and thought-provoking. The main character, Omovo, finally realizes the destructive nature of his obsession with Ifeyiwa and decides to let her go. This decision is a significant turning point for Omovo, as he has spent the entire novel consumed by his desire for Ifeyiwa.

However, the ending also leaves the reader with questions about the future of Omovo and Ifeyiwa’s relationship. Will Omovo be able to move on from his obsession and find happiness? Will Ifeyiwa ever forgive him for his past behavior? These questions are left unanswered, leaving the reader to ponder the complexities of love and the consequences of obsession.

Overall, the ending of Dangerous Love is a fitting conclusion to a novel that explores the perils of passion. It highlights the importance of self-reflection and the dangers of allowing one’s desires to consume them.

The Role of Tradition in Dangerous Love

In Ben Okri’s Dangerous Love, tradition plays a significant role in shaping the characters’ actions and beliefs. The novel is set in Nigeria during the 1970s, a time when traditional values and customs were still deeply ingrained in society. The protagonist, Omovo, is torn between his love for Ifeyiwa, a woman from a wealthy family, and his loyalty to his own cultural traditions.

Ifeyiwa’s family disapproves of their relationship because Omovo is not of the same social status as them. They believe that Ifeyiwa should marry someone from a similar background, someone who can provide for her and maintain their family’s reputation. Omovo, on the other hand, is deeply in love with Ifeyiwa and is willing to go against tradition to be with her.

Throughout the novel, Okri explores the tension between tradition and modernity, and how it affects the characters’ relationships and identities. Omovo’s struggle to reconcile his love for Ifeyiwa with his loyalty to his cultural traditions is a reflection of the larger societal conflict between tradition and progress.

In Dangerous Love, tradition is portrayed as both a source of comfort and a hindrance to personal growth. While it provides a sense of belonging and continuity, it can also be oppressive and limiting. Okri’s novel highlights the importance of questioning tradition and challenging societal norms in order to achieve personal fulfillment and happiness.

Exploring the Themes of Power and Control

In Dangerous Love, Ben Okri explores the themes of power and control through the tumultuous relationship between the two main characters, Omovo and Ifeyiwa. Omovo, a young artist, becomes infatuated with Ifeyiwa, a mysterious and alluring woman who seems to hold a power over him that he cannot resist. As their relationship progresses, Ifeyiwa’s control over Omovo becomes more apparent, and he begins to lose himself in her world of secrets and manipulation.

Through this portrayal of a toxic relationship, Okri highlights the dangers of allowing someone else to have power and control over one’s life. He shows how easily one can become trapped in a cycle of abuse and manipulation, unable to break free from the hold that another person has over them.

Furthermore, Okri also explores the idea of power dynamics within society, particularly in relation to gender. Ifeyiwa’s power over Omovo is rooted in her femininity and sexuality, which she uses to manipulate and control him. This highlights the ways in which women are often objectified and reduced to their physical attributes, and how this can be used as a tool for power and control.

Overall, Dangerous Love is a powerful exploration of the themes of power and control, and the perils of allowing oneself to become trapped in a toxic relationship. Okri’s vivid and evocative writing brings these themes to life, and serves as a cautionary tale for anyone who may find themselves in a similar situation.

Comparing Dangerous Love to Other Works of African Literature

When comparing Dangerous Love to other works of African literature, it is clear that Ben Okri’s novel stands out for its unique blend of magical realism and social commentary. While many African writers have explored themes of love, betrayal, and political upheaval, few have done so with the same level of poetic language and surreal imagery as Okri.

One work that comes to mind when considering Dangerous Love is Chinua Achebe’s Things Fall Apart. Both novels deal with the clash between traditional African culture and the forces of colonialism, and both feature complex characters struggling to navigate their changing world. However, while Achebe’s novel is more straightforward in its narrative style, Okri’s prose is more dreamlike and symbolic, blurring the lines between reality and fantasy.

Another work that shares some similarities with Dangerous Love is Tsitsi Dangarembga’s Nervous Conditions. Like Okri’s novel, Dangarembga’s book explores the challenges faced by young people growing up in a rapidly changing society. However, while Nervous Conditions is primarily focused on issues of gender and education, Dangerous Love is more concerned with the nature of love itself, and the ways in which it can both inspire and destroy us.

Overall, while Dangerous Love may share some thematic similarities with other works of African literature, its unique style and perspective make it a standout novel in its own right. Okri’s poetic language and vivid imagery make for a captivating read, while his exploration of the dangers of passion and obsession is both thought-provoking and emotionally resonant.

Okri’s Views on Love and Relationships

In Dangerous Love, Ben Okri explores the complexities of love and relationships in a society that is plagued by political and social unrest. Okri’s views on love and relationships are deeply rooted in the African culture, where love is seen as a force that can bring people together or tear them apart. According to Okri, love is not just a feeling but a way of life that requires sacrifice, commitment, and understanding. He believes that love is a powerful force that can transform individuals and society as a whole. However, Okri also acknowledges the dangers of love, especially when it is driven by passion and desire. In his book, he portrays the perils of love through the experiences of his characters, who are often caught in a web of love and betrayal. Okri’s views on love and relationships are both insightful and thought-provoking, and they offer a unique perspective on the complexities of human emotions.

The Significance of the Title

The title of a book can often provide insight into the themes and messages that the author is trying to convey. In the case of Ben Okri’s Dangerous Love, the title is particularly significant as it encapsulates the central theme of the novel. The story explores the dangers that can arise when passion is allowed to run unchecked, and how this can lead to destructive and even deadly consequences. The title also hints at the idea that love itself can be a perilous emotion, capable of causing both great joy and great pain. Overall, the title of Dangerous Love serves as a warning to readers about the potential dangers of giving in to our most intense emotions, and the importance of exercising caution and restraint in matters of the heart.

Okri’s Use of Language and Imagery

Ben Okri’s Dangerous Love is a novel that is rich in language and imagery. The author’s use of language is poetic and evocative, and his descriptions of the characters and their surroundings are vivid and detailed. Okri’s writing style is characterized by a lyrical quality that draws the reader in and immerses them in the world of the novel.

One of the most striking aspects of Okri’s use of language is his ability to create powerful images that stay with the reader long after they have finished reading. For example, in one scene, the protagonist, Omovo, is described as being “like a bird with a broken wing, fluttering helplessly in the wind.” This image is both poignant and haunting, and it captures the sense of vulnerability and desperation that Omovo feels throughout the novel.

Another example of Okri’s use of imagery can be seen in his descriptions of the city of Lagos, where the novel is set. Okri paints a vivid picture of the city, with its bustling streets, crowded markets, and towering skyscrapers. He also captures the darker side of the city, with its poverty, crime, and corruption. Through his descriptions, Okri creates a sense of place that is both vivid and complex, and he invites the reader to explore the city alongside his characters.

Overall, Okri’s use of language and imagery is one of the strengths of Dangerous Love. His writing is both beautiful and powerful, and it adds depth and richness to the novel. Whether he is describing the characters, the setting, or the emotions that drive the story, Okri’s language is always evocative and engaging.

Essay on Dangerous Situation

Students are often asked to write an essay on Dangerous Situation in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Dangerous Situation

Understanding dangerous situations.

A dangerous situation is a situation that can harm you or someone else. It can be a natural disaster like an earthquake or a human-made situation like a fire in a building. It’s important to know about these situations to stay safe.

Types of Dangerous Situations

There are many types of dangerous situations. Natural disasters like floods, hurricanes, and earthquakes are some examples. Man-made situations like car accidents, fires, or crimes are also dangerous. Each situation requires different safety measures.

Staying Safe

To stay safe in dangerous situations, we need to be prepared. We should learn about safety rules and follow them. For example, in case of a fire, we should know the exit routes. It’s also good to have a safety kit ready.

Helping Others

In a dangerous situation, we should also try to help others. If we see someone in trouble, we should call for help. We can also learn first aid to help injured people. But we should also make sure we are safe first.

Learning from Experiences

250 words essay on dangerous situation.

Dangerous situations are moments where there is a risk of harm or damage. These risks can be to our health, property, or even our lives. For example, being in a burning building is a dangerous situation because it could hurt us or even take our lives.

Dangerous situations can happen anywhere and at any time. They can be natural, like earthquakes, floods, or hurricanes. They can also be man-made, like car accidents, fires, or wars. For example, if a car is speeding on a wet road, it can skid and cause an accident. This is a man-made dangerous situation.

How to React

When we find ourselves in a dangerous situation, it’s important to stay calm. Panic can make things worse. We should try to think clearly and make wise choices. For instance, in a fire, we should not use the elevator but use the stairs to get out of the building.

Prevention is Better

The best way to deal with dangerous situations is to prevent them from happening. We can do this by being careful and following safety rules. For instance, to prevent a car accident, we should not speed and always wear our seat belts.

In conclusion, dangerous situations are risky moments that can cause harm. They can be natural or man-made. We should stay calm in these situations and try to prevent them by following safety rules.

500 Words Essay on Dangerous Situation

What is a dangerous situation.

Dangerous situations can be divided into two main types: natural and human-made. Natural dangerous situations include storms, earthquakes, tsunamis, and wildfires. These are caused by nature and can happen anywhere, anytime.

Human-made dangerous situations are caused by people. They include accidents, wars, fires, and crimes. For example, a person might cause a car accident by driving too fast, or a fire might start because someone was not careful with a match.

How to Respond to Dangerous Situations

In some dangerous situations, we might need to call for help. This could be the police, the fire department, or an ambulance. It’s important to know the right number to call in your country.

Preparation is Key

The best way to handle a dangerous situation is to be prepared. This means learning about the different types of dangerous situations and what to do in each one. For example, you might learn how to do first aid, or how to use a fire extinguisher.

The Role of Courage

Being in a dangerous situation can be very scary. But it’s important to be brave. Courage doesn’t mean not being scared. It means being scared, but doing what needs to be done anyway. This might mean helping someone else, even if it’s risky. Or it might mean staying calm and thinking clearly, even if you’re frightened.

Dangerous situations are scary and can cause harm. But by staying calm, knowing what to do, and being prepared, we can handle them better. And even in these tough times, we can show courage and help others. Remember, safety is always the most important thing. So let’s learn, prepare, and be ready to face any dangerous situation.

That’s it! I hope the essay helped you.

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Feb 20, 2023

250-500 Word Example Essays About Love and Romance

Got an Essay assignment about Love and Romance? Let us help you out with these inspiring Examples!

Love, an emotion that has captivated the hearts and minds of poets, authors, and artists throughout history, remains a profound and multi-faceted subject. While the depth and complexity of this emotion can make it a daunting topic to explore in an essay, the right resources can turn this challenge into a rewarding endeavor. For those looking to capture the essence of love and romance in their writing, our essay writer can be a beacon of inspiration and assistance. This tool, powered by Jenni.ai, offers a seamless journey through the essay-writing process, from brainstorming ideas to refining the final draft. 

Whether you're delving into argumentative, persuasive , or reflective essays about love, Jenni.ai ensures clarity, coherence, and a touch of elegance in your prose. It's a trusted companion for students, educators, and seasoned writers alike, simplifying the writing journey every step of the way.

1. The Evolution of Love: A Study of the Changing Nature of Romance throughout History

Introduction.

Love is one of humanity's most complicated and mysterious emotions. People have strived to comprehend and define Love throughout history, resulting in many works of literature, art, and music dedicated to the subject. Despite its universal appeal, the nature of Love has evolved significantly throughout time, reflecting evolving cultural, social, and economic situations. In this essay, we will look at the evolution of Love, from ancient times to the present.

Ancient Love

A. Greek and Roman Love

Love was viewed as a complex and varied feeling in ancient Greece and Rome, comprising characteristics of desire, friendship, and awe. Love was frequently represented as a tremendous force in ancient civilizations, capable of both propelling individuals to high heights of success and bringing them down into the depths of sorrow. This was especially true of romantic Love, which was glorified in epic poems like the Iliad and Odyssey , as well as works of art and literature depicting the hardships and sufferings of star-crossed lovers.

B. Medieval Love

A chivalric code known as courtly Love emerged in medieval Europe. Its core tenants were the importance of Love, honour, and devotion. During this time, romantic Love was typically portrayed as an unrequited emotion, with the lover pining for the affections of a faraway and unreachable beloved. Medieval poets and troubadours mirrored this romanticised picture of Love in their works by singing and writing about the highs and lows of passionate Love.

Modern Love

A. The Renaissance

The idealized picture of Love that had ruled for centuries was called into question by artists and intellectuals during the Renaissance, marking a turning point in the development of romantic relationships. During this time, romantic Love was portrayed as more tactile and visceral. Shakespeare, for instance, reflected the shifting beliefs of his day by exploring the nuanced and often tragic nature of Love in his works.

B. The Enlightenment

The concepts of reason and individuality began to gain root during the Enlightenment, and with that came a shift in how people saw Love. Political marriages and alliances were often formed based on Love, which was now considered a more sensible and practical feeling. Thinkers from the Enlightenment period, including Voltaire and Jean-Jacques Rousseau, shared this perspective on Love as a tool for bettering society and the individual.

C. The Modern Era

Today, the word "love" is most often used to describe a feeling one has when they are in a committed relationship or when one has achieved their own goals. Love has become a consumable good thanks to the spread of consumerism and the worship of the individual. The media and arts reflect this conception of Love by depicting it as a means to one's fulfillment and contentment.

The changing cultural, social, and economic conditions of each historical epoch are reflected in the history of Love. The essence of Love has changed dramatically throughout the years, from its idealised image in ancient Greece and Rome to its depiction as a spiritual tie in mediaeval Europe to its current identification with romantic relationships and personal fulfilment. Despite these changes, Love remains a strong and enduring force in human existence, inspiring numerous works of art, literature, and music and affecting how we live and interact with one another.

2. The Power of Love: Examining the Impact of Love on Our Lives and Relationships

Love is a strong feeling that may dramatically alter our life and the bonds we form with others. love, whether romantic, familial, or platonic, can unite us and improve our lives in countless ways., the benefits of love.

A. Improved Physical Health

Love has been demonstrated to improve physical health by decreasing stress, lowering blood pressure, and increasing immunity. The hormone oxytocin, which is released in response to social bonding and has been demonstrated to reduce physiological responses to stress, is thought to be at play here.

B. Enhanced Mental Health

In addition to its physical benefits, Love has been shown to have a beneficial effect on our mental health, lowering stress and anxiety levels and boosting our general sense of happiness. The protective powers of Love against the negative consequences of stress and other difficulties in life are well accepted.

C. Strengthened Relationships

A stronger tie may be formed between two people via the power of Love. Relationships of all kinds, whether romantic, familial, or platonic, may benefit from the strengthening effects of Love by increasing their levels of closeness, trust, and mutual understanding.

The Challenges of Love

A. Love can be painful

Sometimes Love hurts, as when a relationship ends or when we can't find the one we're looking for. One of life's most trying events is losing someone we care about, which may leave us feeling isolated, discouraged, and empty.

The Power of Love to Overcome Challenges

Despite these difficulties, Love may help us overcome them and grow closer to one another. The strength of Love is that it may help us learn and grow, both as people and as a community, via its many forms, such as forgiveness, compromise, and the willingness to persevere through adversity.

Finally, Love is a strong and transformational force that may profoundly influence our lives and relationships. Love may provide us joy, comfort, and a feeling of purpose, whether between friends, family, or romantic partners. Despite its numerous advantages, Love may also bring with it difficulties such as heartbreak and strife. Nonetheless, never underestimate the power of Love. 

It has the potential to draw people together and form deep, long-lasting bonds. Love has the power to make the world a better place, whether through acts of kindness, selflessness, or simply being there for one another. So, let us embrace Love in all of its manifestations and harness its potential to improve our lives and the lives of those around us.

3. The Science of Love: Understanding the Biology and Psychology Behind Love and Attraction

For millennia, people have been drawn and intrigued by the intricate and intriguing feeling of Love. Despite its enormous global significance, the science of Love is now being thoroughly investigated. This paper will investigate the biology and psychology of Love and attraction, delving into the different elements that impact these powerful emotions and how they form our relationships.

The Biology of Love

A. Hormone Function

Love is a biological process controlled by chemicals such as dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin. These hormones influence our sensations of attraction, enthusiasm, and enjoyment and boost sentiments of trust and closeness.

B. The Influence of Genetics

Genetics also has an impact on Love and attraction, with some personality qualities and physical characteristics that are considered to be appealing to potential spouses being handed down from generation to generation. This suggests that particular preferences for specific sorts of people are hardwired into our genetics, influencing our romantic and sexual attraction patterns.

The Psychology of Love

A. The Role of Attachment Styles

Our attachment types, which we acquire from our early connections with our caretakers, also affect our Love. These attachment types can significantly influence our later relationships, influencing how we build and keep deep attachments with others.

B. The Impact of Social Norms and Values

Cultural Values

Social conventions and cultural ideas also impact Love and attraction, with societal expectations and values impacting our romantic and sexual impulses. These social conventions and cultural ideas influence everything from who we are attracted to and how we approach and pursue relationships.

The Meeting of Biology and

Love Psychology

The biology and psychology of Love are inextricably linked and interdependent, with one having a complicated and subtle impact on the other. This suggests that, while biology influences our sentiments of attraction and Love, our psychological experiences and beliefs may equally shape these emotions.

To summarise, love science is a complicated and intriguing discipline that encompasses the biology and psychology of this strong and transformational emotion. By investigating the elements that impact Love and attraction, we may gain a deeper understanding of the systems that underpin these feelings and how they shape our lives and relationships. The study of Love is a vital and beneficial effort, whether we seek Love, attempt to preserve Love, or wonder about the science underlying this feeling.

4. The Fine Line Between Love and Obsession: Exploring the Dark Side of Love

Love is a powerful and transformative emotion that can bring immense joy and fulfilment to our lives. But Love can also turn dark and dangerous when it crosses the line into obsession. This essay will examine the fine line between Love and obsession, exploring how Love can become unhealthy and dangerous.

The Characteristics of Obsessive Love

A. Unhealthy Attachment

Obsessive Love is characterized by an unhealthy attachment to another person, with the obsessed person becoming overly dependent on their partner for emotional fulfilment. This can lead to feelings of possessiveness and jealousy, as well as a need for constant attention and validation.

B. Control and Manipulation

Obsessive Love can also involve control and manipulation, with the obsessed person trying to control every aspect of their partner's life and behaviour. This can range from minor acts of manipulation, such as trying to dictate what their partner wears or who they spend time with, to more serious forms of control, such as physical abuse or stalking.

The Dark Side of Love

A. Stalking and Harassment

The dark side of Love can take many forms, with stalking and harassment being among the most extreme and dangerous forms of obsessive behaviour. Stalking and harassment can have serious and long-lasting consequences for the victim, causing fear, stress, and trauma that can impact their mental and physical well-being.

B. Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is another form of the dark side of Love, with physical, sexual, and psychological abuse being used as a means of control and domination. Domestic violence can have devastating consequences for the victim, often leading to serious injury or even death.

The Roots of Obsessive Love

A. Psychological Issues

Obsessive Love can have its roots in psychological issues, including depression, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder. These conditions can lead to feelings of insecurity and low self-esteem, making it difficult for individuals to form healthy relationships.

B. Cultural and Social Factors

Cultural and social factors can also play a role in the development of obsessive Love, with certain societal beliefs and norms promoting possessiveness and control in relationships. This can include gender roles, expectations, and cultural beliefs about Love and relationships.

In conclusion, the fine line between Love and obsession is delicate and dangerous, with Love crossing over into unhealthy and dangerous territory when it becomes obsessive. By understanding the characteristics of obsessive Love and how it can take dark and dangerous forms, we can better protect ourselves and our loved ones from the negative consequences of this powerful emotion.

5. The Concept of Unconditional Love: An Analysis of the Ideal of Selfless Love

All kinds of different things count as Love since it's such a complicated and diverse feeling. Unconditional Love is frequently depicted as altruistic, all-encompassing, and unshakable, making it one of the most romanticized types. In this essay, I'd discuss the idea of unconditional Love, defining it and contrasting it with other types of affection.

An Explanation of Selfless Love

A. Selfless Love

The term "unconditional love" is commonly used to describe a type of Love that puts the other person's needs before its own. In this kind of Love, one person cares for another without any thought of return or compensation.

B. Love that encompasses everything

Many people use the term "all-encompassing" to express how unconditional Love embraces a person regardless of who they are or what they've done in their lives. A love like this doesn't depend on the other person changing or improving in any way; rather, it's an unconditional embrace of the person as they are.

The Ideal of Unconditional Love

A. Love Without Conditions

Unconditional Love is a romantic ideal in which the lover places no restrictions on the object of his affection. Since it involves so much giving of oneself, this kind of Love is typically held up as the pinnacle of romantic relationships.

B. Putting the Feeling into Action

However, since we are all flawed human beings, practising unconditional Love can be challenging in daily life. Although this may be the case, the ideal of unconditional Love is still significant since it motivates us to improve our Love and compassion towards others.

The Advantages of Unconditional Love

A. Stronger Connections

Unconditional Love has the potential to improve our connections with others, leading to deeper and more meaningful bonds. This kind of Love creates a non-judgmental and welcoming attitude towards people, which can assist to lessen conflict and improve understanding.

B. More Joy and Satisfaction

As a result of the more profound relationships it fosters, unconditional Love may also increase a person's sense of well-being and contentment. Finding Love like this may give our life new meaning and make us feel whole.

In conclusion, many of us hold unconditional Love as a relationship goal. Even if it's not always possible, the ideal of unconditional Love is worthwhile since it motivates us to increase our Love and compassion. The concept of unconditional Love may lead us to a more meaningful and happy lifestyle, whether our goal is to better our relationships or to find more pleasure and contentment in general.

6. The Importance of Communication in Love Relationships: A Study of the Role of Communication in Maintaining Love

Love relationships, like all others, benefit greatly from open lines of communication between partners. Connecting with one another on a regular basis, whether it's to chat about the day, express emotions, or problem-solve, is crucial to keeping the Love alive between you. This essay will discuss the significance of communication in romantic relationships, specifically how it helps couples stay together and grow closer over time.

Advantages of good communication

Increased Compatibility and Mutual Understanding

Love partnerships benefit significantly from open lines of communication that facilitate mutual understanding and closeness. Sharing our innermost ideas, emotions, and experiences with our partners via direct and honest communication strengthens our bonds with them.

Reduced Conflict

As we can better address difficulties and find positive solutions to differences when communicating effectively, we experience less conflict in our relationships. Relationships may be stronger and more loving by talking through differences and finding common ground.

The Difficulties in Expressing Your Feelings in a Romantic Relationship

A. Confusing Messages and Confused Intents

Good communication can sometimes be difficult, especially in romantic partnerships, despite its many advantages. Conflict, anger and a lack of trust may all result from poor communication and misunderstandings in relationships.

B. Vulnerability and Emotional Safety

Likewise, it takes courage and trust to open up and talk about your feelings with the person you love. It may be nerve-wracking to communicate our innermost thoughts and feelings with a partner because of the risk of being judged harshly or rejected.

The Importance of Active Listening

What is Active Listening?

Maintaining positive connections with others requires not just good talkers but also good listeners. Paying close attention to the other person as they speak and making an effort to get their viewpoint and requirements is an essential component of active listening.

The Benefits of Active Listening

The ability to listen attentively and process information can have a significant influence on interpersonal bonds. You may show your spouse how much you value their opinion and the commitment you have to the relationship by listening attentively to what they have to say.

Finally, it's important to note that communication is a cornerstone of successful, loving partnerships. Communication is crucial for developing and maintaining healthy relationships , whether it is via problem-solving, venting, or just listening. Your relationship may grow stronger and become more rewarding and loving if you put an emphasis on communicating well with one another.

Final Words

Love is a complicated and varied theme that has inspired numerous works of art, literature, and music. Whether it is the science of Love, the power of Love, or the development of Love, there is a great deal to learn and comprehend about this universal feeling. 

Students now have access to a potent tool that may assist them in writing essays about Love with ease and assurance thanks to Jenni.ai. From giving ideas and recommendations to leading you through the writing process, Jenni.ai is the ideal option for anyone who wants to write about Love and relationships. Why then wait? Sign up for a free trial of Jenni.ai today and explore its numerous writing perks!

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Dangerous Love

A reworking of an earlier book titled The Landscapes Within , Dangerous Love (1996) is a novel by Ben Okri, the first Black author to win the Booker Prize for Fiction in 1991 with The Famished Road .

Set in Lagos, Nigeria, during the 1970s, Dangerous Love follows the story of Omovo, a young man who finds himself trapped in a life that is anything but easy: his mother is dead and his brothers escaped a home controlled by a recently remarried, violent and disillusioned father. The only things that are keeping Omovo together are his two sources of love: the art of painting and Ifeyiwa, a beautiful woman who, despite reciprocating his feelings, is already married to a man she was forced to accept as her husband. Art and love are the two biggest forces in Omovo’s life, sources of light in a world that is still fighting against the ghosts of the past and the heavy burden of all the lives lost during the Biafran Civil War.

Art plays such a relevant role within the novel that Dangerous Love could be considered, more than a Bildungsroman , as a Künstlerroman : the term refers to the artist’s growth into maturity, both from the perspective of his artistic productions and of his understanding of Art as a tool of liberation for society at large. At the beginning of the novel, painting is an unconscious act for Omovo, a relief and an escape from the pain of reality, but one that does not hold a real purpose. After a painful process of personal growth, however, Omovo will come to conceive of Art not only as an individual act of emancipation but also as a form of resistance against a corrupted society that still has not atoned for the fathers’ faults. The Nigeria described by Okri is a country that has been destroyed by years of colonialism and civil war, a country that seems incapable of finding its identity again.

In this sense, the novel also explores the conflictual gap between generations: on the one side, there is the old generation of Omovo’s father that has been humiliated and exploited throughout decades of colonial rule; on the other side, there is the new generation Omovo belongs to, the one that will be the future of Nigeria. However, the youths find themselves trapped in a limbo of cultural ambivalence and mimicry, hating their white oppressors while at the same time desiring to be part of Western society, blinded by wealth and promises.

As above mentioned, the novel is also the story of the love between Omovo and Ifeyiwa: what first started as an innocent friendship, soon turns into a dangerous passion. A dangerous love, as the title recites, because of the violent antagonism of Ifeyiwa’s husband, but also because love can be a force that takes control of our lives, making us forget and sacrifice our own selves. Dangerous Love is also a bit of a choral novel, constellated by various characters whose different stories all have one thing in common: a desire for redemption from a past that still seems to command the present. A story about an individual Bildung that translates into a nation’s collective attempt at salvation. And a story about the power of love and art as tools for the construction of a cultural identity finally liberated from the ghosts of past tragedies.

Order the book here and support us! The work behind poco.lit. is done by us – Anna und Lucy. If you’d like to order this book and want to support us at the same time, you can do so from here and we will get a small commission – but the price you pay will be unaffected.

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• Hersh Goldberg-Polin

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At the Jerusalem synagogue where Hersh Goldberg-Polin danced in life, grief and anger reign after his death

JERUSALEM — Three hundred and thirty-two days after Hersh Goldberg-Polin danced in the courtyard next to his Jerusalem synagogue on the holiday of Simchat Torah, more than a thousand people gathered there in grief and prayer to mourn his murder by Hamas terrorists in Gaza.

During the Sunday night vigil, the courtyard railings were lined with oversized yellow ribbons to symbolize advocacy for the hostages, Hapoel Jerusalem soccer flags — the 23-year-old’s favorite team — and posters that read, “We love you, stay strong, survive,” a mantra coined by his mother, Rachel Goldberg-Polin.

Just hours earlier, one of the posters had been hanging over the balcony of the home of Shira Ben-Sasson, a leader of Hakhel, the Goldberg-Polins’ egalitarian congregation in the Baka neighborhood of Jerusalem.

“We were sure we would take it down when he came home,” Ben-Sasson said.

The community wanted to unite while respecting the Goldberg-Polins’ desire for privacy, she said, prompting them to organize the prayer gathering.

“But it’s like a Band-Aid or giving first aid, it’s what you do in an emergency. I don’t know how we go on after this,” she said.

A covered courtyard at the Hakhel congregation was filled with mourners the day after Hersh Goldberg-Polin, whose family are prominent members, was found to have been killed in Gaza. Hundreds of other people crowded outside the gates, Sept. 1, 2024. (Deborah Danan)

She added that the community, which has a large contingent of English-speaking immigrants, was not prepared for the High Holidays, which begin in about a month. She said, “Seeing his empty seat is hard.”

For Ben-Sasson, who wore a T-shirt bearing the Talmudic dictum “There is no greater mitzvah than the redeeming of captives,” the tragedy is especially painful because, she said, it could have been avoided with a ceasefire agreement that freed hostages.

“Hersh was alive 48 hours ago. We think a deal could have saved him. There is no military solution to this,” she said.

That feeling of bereavement, often mixed with betrayal, pervaded gatherings across Israel on Sunday, as the country struggled with the news that six hostages who may have been freed in an agreement were now dead as negotiations continue to stall. Speakers at protests in Tel Aviv blamed Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, who himself apologized for not getting the hostages out alive but blamed Hamas for obstructing a deal. The country’s labor union, the Histadrut, has called a national strike on Monday to demand a deal.

A rare early September rain lashed parts of Israel on Sunday, leading to a widespread interpretation: God, too, was weeping.

Some at the Jerusalem gathering, including the relative of another former hostage, said Netanyahu had chosen defeating Hamas over freeing the captives.

Josef Avi Yair Engel’s grandson Ofir was released from Hamas captivity in November. He paid tribute to Hersh Goldberg-Polin, murdered in captivity, in Jerusalem, Sept. 1, 2024. (Deborah Danan)

Josef Avi Yair Engel, whose grandson Ofir, 18, was released from Hamas captivity in November during that month’s ceasefire deal, expressed shock over Hersh’s murder but said he was not surprised, given the wartime policies of Netanyahu’s government.

“We knew months ago this was going to happen. Bibi’s formula, to dismantle Hamas and return the hostages, wasn’t logical. It’s an either/or situation,” Engel said, referring to Netanyahu by his nickname. “He’s tearing the country apart. I’m afraid that in the coming months there won’t be a state at all.”

Engel said he felt a close bond with Hersh’s father Jon Polin, not only because of their joint activism in the hostage families’ tent outside the Prime Minister’s Residence, but also because of their shared identity as Jerusalemites.

“There aren’t many of us in the hostage circle,” he said. “We’re like family.”

Sarah Mann, who did not know the family personally, said the weekend’s tragedy reminded her of Oct. 7.

“This day has sparks of the seventh, which created numbness and an inability to talk. Just complete shock,” she said.

Mourners left notes at a gathering at Hersh Goldberg-Polin’s family synagogue in Jerusalem. Many of the messages used the Hebrew word for “sorry.” (Deborah Danan)

Part of the reason for that, Mann said, was Rachel, who she described as a “force of faith.” Goldberg-Polin’s mother emerged as the most prominent advocate for the hostages globally and became a symbol in her own right as she crisscrossed the world calling for her son’s freedom.

“Millions of people around the world held onto her. Once that was cut, people’s ability to hold onto faith was knocked out today. But even though this has shattered us, we need to keep holding onto God,” Mann said.

For Susi Döring Preston, the day called to mind was not Oct. 7 but Yom Kippur, and its communal solemnity.

She said she usually steers clear of similar war-related events because they are too overwhelming for her.

“Before I avoided stuff like this because I guess I still had hope. But now is the time to just give in to needing to be around people because you can’t hold your own self up any more,” she said, tears rolling down her face. “You need to feel the humanity and hang onto that.”

Like so many others, Döring Preston paid tribute to the Goldberg-Polins’ tireless activism. “They needed everyone else’s strength but we drew so much strength from them and their efforts, “she said. “You felt it could change the outcome. But war is more evil than good. I think that’s the crushing thing. You can do everything right, but the outcome is still devastating.”

Guy Gordon, with his daughter Maya, added a broken heart to the piece of tape he has worn daily to mark the number of days since the hostage crisis began, Sept. 1, 2024. (Deborah Danan)

Guy Gordon, a member of Hakhel who moved to Israel from Dublin, Ireland, in the mid-1990s, said the efforts towards ensuring Hersh’s safe return have been an anchor for the community during the war. The community knew him as the family described him in its announcement of his funeral on Tuesday, as “a child of light, love and peace” who enjoyed exploring the world and coming home to his family, including his parents and younger sisters, Leebie and Orly.

“It gave us something to hope for, and pray for and to demonstrate for,” he said. “We had no choice but to be unreasonably optimistic. Tragically it transpired that he survived until the very end.”

Gordon, like many others in the crowd, wore a piece of duct tape marked with the number of days since Oct. 7 — a gesture initiated by Goldberg-Polin’s mother. Unlike on previous days, though, his tape also featured a broken red heart beside the number.

Nadia Levene, a family friend, also reflected on the improbability of Hersh’s survival.

“He did exactly what his parents begged him to do. He was strong. He did survive. And look what happened,” Levene said.

She hailed Rachel Goldberg-Polin’s “unwavering strength and belief in God,” adding, “There were times I lost faith. I suppose I was angry with God. But she just kept inspiring us all to pray, pray, pray.”

Leah Silver of Jerusalem examined stickers showing Rachel Goldberg-Polin’s mantra for her son Hersh, who was murdered in captivity in Gaza, at a gathering after Hersh’s death, Sept. 1, 2024. (Deborah Danan)

Jerusalem resident Leah Silver rejected politicizing the hostages’ deaths.

“Everything turns political so quickly. I came here because I felt that before all the protests, we need to just mourn for a moment and to pray. And show respect for each other,” she said. “We’ve become confused about who the enemy is. It’s very sad.”

But not everyone at the gathering joined in to sing Israel’s national anthem at the closing of the prayer gathering.

“I’m sorry, I can’t sing ‘Hatikvah,'” Reza Green, a Baka resident who did not know the Goldberg-Polins personally, said. “I’m too angry. We shouldn’t be here.”

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Money blog: House prices hit two-year high - see the average cost in your region

House prices have hit a two-year high after jumping 0.3% in August, the latest data from Halifax has shown. Scroll through the Money blog for this plus more personal finance and consumer posts - and leave your comments below.

Saturday 7 September 2024 08:31, UK

• Liam Gallagher jokes about Oasis ticket prices
• Reality star tells Sky News she didn't have pension in her 40s 
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• House prices hit two-year high - see how they vary by region
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Instead of our regular Saturday long read, we've published our first ever Money blog spin off - a student finance special.

In it you'll find:

• All the best student discounts - food, clothes, beer and more
• Top 10 budgeting tips for starting uni 
• What are the highest-paying jobs in the UK?
• The best bank accounts for students
• Eight things you need to know about renting as a student
• Student loans: How do they work and is it too late to apply? 
• The towns and cities where it's cheapest to be a student 

Check it out here - and we'll be back with live updates on Monday...

By Jimmy Rice , Money blog editor

Away from Oasis ticket prices, the news agenda in Money this week was dominated by pensions.

We learned on Wednesday that the state pension looks set to rise by just below 4% next April - equalling around £400 extra per year for those on the full state pension.

Pre-2016 retirees who may be eligible for the secondary state pension could see a £300 per year increase.

Because of the triple lock, each year the state pension rises by whatever is highest from inflation, average wage growth or 2.5%.

Officials did nothing to downplay a BBC report, apparently based on internal Treasury figures, that average wage growth would be the highest of these this year.

The figures that would be used to set next April's rise are released next week but the OBR forecast is for 3.7% - which would take the full state pension to around £12,000.

Whether or not pensioners would view this as good news is up for debate (see our last post), but there was definite bad news for older Britons earlier in the week, as Chancellor Rachel Reeves refused to rule out heavier taxation on pensions in the October budget.

How could pensions be taxed further? We had a look here...

Ms Reeves also confirmed on Tuesday that she'd impose a cap on corporation tax.

She said the tax would be capped at its current level of 25% to "give business the confidence to grow".

A final piece of news from Money this week that could have consequences for your bank balance was confirmation that the Household Support Fund would be extended until April.

Councils decide how to dish out their share of the fund but it's often via cash grants or vouchers. Many councils also use the cash to work with local charities and community groups to provide residents with key appliances, school uniforms, cookery classes and items to improve energy efficiency in the home.

People should contact their local council for details on how to apply for the Household Support Fund - they can find their council here .

On the Oasis ticket price story, which continued to make headlines through the week including today, a post in Money appeared to help prompt a U-turn from official reseller Twickets.

The company told us it would be lowering its fees after criticism online...

Unofficial resellers were also in the spotlight and, on an episode of the Daily podcast, Niall Paterson spoke to Viagogo - eliciting an admission that things need to change...

Here in Money, we published a few explainers that are well worth checking out...

We'll be back with live updates on Monday - but do check out our Money blog spin-off tomorrow, a student finance special.

Have a good weekend.

We start this week's round up of your comments with Virgin Media O2's decision to axe its weekly free Greggs perk...

Customers on social media claimed they'd review whether they remained with O2 - while one Money blog reader asked what his rights were if he wanted to cancel...

I signed a new O2 contract on 16 August based largely on the advertised promise of the Greggs priority offer. I'm angry that I have been mis-sold my new contract and I will not be able to enjoy the benefit that I signed it for. I want to end it early, what are my rights? Phil

We looked at O2 Priority's T&Cs - and they clearly set out that they can make any change to the terms of the agreement and service without giving you a right to cancel.

Therefore, if you want to cancel you'll have to pay an early termination charge.

There is one exception - but only if you're in the first two weeks of your contract.

Consumer champion Scott Dixon says: "When you enter into a phone contract with a mobile phone provider online, it is classed as a distance sale and is covered by legislation.

"This legislation binds traders to provide key information at the point of sale including right to cancel information. This gives you a 14-day cooling-off period to leave without paying any termination fees, although you would have to pay for what you have used such as calls, texts and data.

"If you entered into the contract in-store, this would not apply." 

This probably isn't what Phil wants to hear - but we did look at other ways he and others might be able to get free or discount Greggs...

This post, which we hoped would be helpful, didn't go down well with everyone...

How to eat Greggs on the cheap?! Give me strength... Pork Pie Percy

Another topic that elicited a strong response from readers was a campaign group's call for the chancellor to impose a pay-per-mile tax on electric vehicles.

EV drivers obviously don't pay fuel duty - and the pay-per-mile proposal would make up for lost revenue to the Treasury as more people ditch petrol and diesel cars.

The Campaign for Better Transport group proposing the tax says the public would be on board - but our LinkedIn poll suggests this isn't the case...

Readers said...

I wonder how many people realise that an introduction of pay per mile, I guess by means of a tracker type of device, will actually allow big brother to watch your every move when travelling in your car, your speed on any given road, accident data etc... our freedom is diminishing. Big Ian

EVs need electricity to work, the cost of electricity in the UK is mad. I pay higher electricity bills because I don't have a diesel anymore. Why should I be charged pence per mile just by having an EV? It's money and NOT pollution targets the government are looking at. A Grant

The proposed introduction of pay per mile for ZEV will clearly by necessary to compensate for the taxes lost from the sale of petroleum based fuels. This was always going to happen. EU4ME

Only a matter of time before they came for the electric clan. I wonder if sales of electric will now suffer?  Chappers2013

Read more on this story here...

Pension stories always attract a lot of feedback - and this week's suggestion that the state pension will rise in line with average earnings growth next year was no different.

A rise of 3.7% would equal another £400 a year...

Wow how generous, suggested £400 rise to state pension would equate to a rise of £7.69 a week to a pensioner. But in reality, take away winter fuel and the rise is £100, that's £1.92 a week - will be rolling in the money. SueP

Without raising the personal allowance any pension increases will be eaten up with tax. This country is unbelievable in the way it treats its old folk. Monkee knows best

A potential £400 rise in state pension is hardly a headline, it's still a long way off from the minimum living wage. Prendy

An Oasis fan who spent more than £350 on a single ticket says she was left "fuming" after extra show dates were announced. 

Diane Green, from Middlesbrough, was close to buying a ticket costing £158 but said she was kicked out of an online queue. 

She then had to wait four hours to pay £357.95 for one ticket.

The 60-year-old wanted to buy a total of four tickets to take herself, her son and two friends to see the band at Heaton Park in Manchester, but said "there's just no way I could have got more".

"I would never have done it (purchased the ticket)," she said.

"If I had known they were putting more dates on, I would have just thought 'no, I'll chance it again', but it was really frustrating."

"I paid double. I could have got two tickets when I paid and now only one person can go. In our household, it's like, who goes?"

Ms Green said she bought the ticket thinking it was her only chance to see the band and was "absolutely fuming" when they announced more dates.

"It's disgraceful," she added. "For me to purchase a ticket for £358, it's a lot of money. I regret doing it in a way."

Oasis announced two new Wembley Stadium dates due to "phenomenal public demand" earlier this week.

It comes after controversy over the sale of tickets for their reunion tour, with 17 shows across Cardiff, Manchester, Wembley, Edinburgh and Dublin selling out.

Fans were beset with problems getting on to ticket websites, from being labelled bots and being kicked out of queuing to some ending up paying more than the advertised price of £148 as costs surged past £355. 

Liam Gallagher appeared to brush off the controversy earlier as he joked about ticket prices on social media, telling one person to "shut up" after Oasis were accused of ripping off fans.

Nationwide's £2.9bn takeover of rival Virgin Money is expected to complete next month after the deal was approved by the UK's financial regulators.

The deal will still need to be sanctioned in court, with a hearing set to take place on 27 September, but it is due to be formally complete on 1 October. 

It comes after Nationwide agreed to the takeover of its London-listed rival in March.

The building society struck the deal with a 220p-a-share offer for Virgin Money, including a planned 2p-per-share dividend payout.

It will bring together Britain's fifth and sixth-largest retail lenders, creating a combined group with around 24.5 million customers and more than 25,000 staff. 

The new owners of The Body Shop are lining up tens of millions of pounds in new financing as they finalise a deal to buy the chain out of administration.

Sky News has learnt that Aurea, an investment company led by cosmetics entrepreneur Mike Jatania, is in advanced talks to secure more than £30m in working capital from Hilco Capital, a prolific investor in and lender to the retail industry.

Banking sources said that the deal between Aurea and FRP Advisory, The Body Shop's administrators, was likely to be finalised within days.

If confirmed, the new debt from Hilco would be used to help place the cosmetics chain back on a growth footing, the bankers said.

The UK economy would need investment of £1trn over a decade for an annual growth rate of 3% to be achieved, according to a business lobby group.

The Capital Markets Industry Taskforce (CMIT), which represents leaders in the financial services sphere, said £100bn a year must be found to help the country catch up after trailing its peers for many years.

It urged a focus on energy, housing and venture capital, arguing the money could be unlocked from the £6trn in long-term capital within the pensions and insurance sector.

The government has made growing the economy its top priority.

Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer let it be known during the election campaign that he was seeking to achieve a growth rate of 2.5% - a level the economy has struggled to reach since the financial crisis of 2008.

You've waved your magic wand, and your "happily ever after" home appears... 

It sounds like a buyer's dream - and one property has come to market that could be a dream come true for a Disney fan. 

A semi-detached house in Rhyl, Wales, looks ordinary from the outside, but its interior has been decorated as an homage to Disney and other cartoon characters. 

The cast of Aladdin, Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty and Tinkerbell from Peter Pan are just some of the characters displayed around this three-bed house. 

It's been put on the market for £179,950 - more than £44,400 less than the average price of a property in Wales (you can read more about this in our 8.54 post). 

On Zoopla, it is listed as being close to public transport and within walking distance to the town centre. 

It also has two reception areas, a shed and a garden. 

According to the online estate agent, it is "ideal for first time buyers". 

Daniel Copley, consumer expert at Zoopla, told the Money blog: "It goes without saying that this property would make the perfect home for a Disney fan with its spectacular murals showcasing a whole new world.

"Aside from this, the property is conveniently located near the local leisure centre and schools, while Rhyl’s beautiful beaches are also within walking distance." 

Visa says it is planning a new service which offers more control and better protection to people paying bills by bank transfer.

The dedicated service for account-to-account (A2A) payments will launch early in the UK next year, it said - with an "easy to use" resolution service that could make it easier for customers to claw their money back if something goes wrong.

Visa said consumers using the service will be able to monitor their payments more easily and raise any issues by clicking a button in their banking app, giving them a similar level of protection to when they use their cards.

Biometrics will also be incorporated to offer a new level of security, it added.

Royal Mail is hiking the price of first class stamps again - this time by 30p. 

From 7 October, they will increase to £1.65, while second class stamps will remain at 85p.

In April, first class stamp prices increased by 10p to £1.35, and by 10p to 85p for second class.

Royal Mail said it had sought to keep price increases as low as possible in the face of declining letter volumes, inflationary pressures and the costs of maintaining the Universal Service Obligation, under which deliveries have to be made six days a week.

It added that letter volumes have fallen from 20 billion in 2004/5 to around 6.7 billion a year in 2023/4. 

This means the average household now receives four letters a week, compared to 14 a decade ago.

In the same period, the number of addresses Royal Mail must deliver to has risen by four million, meaning the cost of each delivery has also risen. 

Nick Landon, Royal Mail's chief commercial officer, said: "We always consider price increases very carefully. 

"However, when letter volumes have declined by two-thirds since their peak, the cost of delivering each letter inevitably increases."

He called for the universal service to be adapted to reflect changing customer preferences, saying the financial cost to meet the current demands are "significant". 

"The universal service must adapt to reflect changing customer preferences and increasing costs so that we can protect the one-price-goes anywhere service, now and in the future," he added. 

Postal regulator Ofcom said this week that Royal Mail could be allowed to drop Saturday deliveries for second class letters under an overhaul of the service.

Up to 60 new Wagamama restaurants could be coming to the UK. 

The Asian food chain's owner, The Restaurant Group (TRG), said it wanted to operate between 200 and 220 premises across the country as part of a long-term plan. 

It's currently on track to open 10 new sites this year, which would create around 500 jobs, according to The Caterer. 

It comes as TRG posted its financial results for the year ending December 2023. 

It said Wagamama saw its dine-in like-for-like sales increase by 11%. 

It's other brand, Brunning and Price Pubs, saw sales go up by 10%. 

TRG's chief executive Andy Hornby said 2023 was a "genuinely transformational" year for the company. 

"We traded strongly throughout the year thanks to the phenomenal efforts of our restaurant and pub teams," he said. 

"We are on track to open 10 more Wagamama sites in the UK during 2024 and we have acquired 100% ownership of our Wagamama business in the USA." 

He added that he was "confident" that the company would continue to grow in the years ahead, despite the "challenging" consumer backdrop. 

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Wales' papers: Dangerous driver faces jail and pub closure 'shock'

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Guest Essay

Yuval Noah Harari: What Happens When the Bots Compete for Your Love?

By Yuval Noah Harari

Mr. Harari is a historian and the author of the forthcoming book “Nexus: A Brief History of Information Networks From the Stone Age to AI,” from which this essay is adapted.

Democracy is a conversation. Its function and survival depend on the available information technology. For most of history, no technology existed for holding large-scale conversations among millions of people. In the premodern world, democracies existed only in small city-states like Rome and Athens, or in even smaller tribes. Once a polity grew large, the democratic conversation collapsed, and authoritarianism remained the only alternative.

Large-scale democracies became feasible only after the rise of modern information technologies like the newspaper, the telegraph and the radio. The fact that modern democracy has been built on top of modern information technologies means that any major change in the underlying technology is likely to result in a political upheaval.

This partly explains the current worldwide crisis of democracy. In the United States, Democrats and Republicans can hardly agree on even the most basic facts, such as who won the 2020 presidential election. A similar breakdown is happening in numerous other democracies around the world, from Brazil to Israel and from France to the Philippines.

In the early days of the internet and social media, tech enthusiasts promised they would spread truth, topple tyrants and ensure the universal triumph of liberty. So far, they seem to have had the opposite effect. We now have the most sophisticated information technology in history, but we are losing the ability to talk with one another, and even more so the ability to listen.

As technology has made it easier than ever to spread information, attention became a scarce resource, and the ensuing battle for attention resulted in a deluge of toxic information. But the battle lines are now shifting from attention to intimacy. The new generative artificial intelligence is capable of not only producing texts, images and videos, but also conversing with us directly, pretending to be human.

Over the past two decades, algorithms fought algorithms to grab attention by manipulating conversations and content. In particular, algorithms tasked with maximizing user engagement discovered by experimenting on millions of human guinea pigs that if you press the greed, hate or fear button in the brain, you grab the attention of that human and keep that person glued to the screen. The algorithms began to deliberately promote such content. But the algorithms had only limited capacity to produce this content by themselves or to directly hold an intimate conversation. This is now changing, with the introduction of generative A.I.s like OpenAI’s GPT-4.

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