essay on say no to

Share full article

Supported by

The Mind-Boggling Simplicity of Learning to Say ‘No’

Keeping a notebook of every opportunity she declined helped the writer Leslie Jamison realize what matters most.

An illustration of hands writing on blue paper that says “No Thanks.” The note is on top of a yellow envelope, and there are more note sheets next to it.

By Leslie Jamison

When I was 25, I took a job at a bakery in a small college town in the Midwest. I worked front and back of house, pulling espresso shots at the bar and running into the kitchen to grab my (often burned) sugar cookies from the oven.

My boss and I had agreed on a weekly schedule — I wanted desperately to be a writer and was trying to carve out time to work on my novel — but it seemed like she was always asking me to take on another shift, or stay late, or come in early, and I found it difficult to refuse. If I said no, I worried that I would be leaving her in a jam, or that she might decide I wasn’t worth keeping on the staff at all. (My skills in the kitchen hardly justified my presence.)

One afternoon I was venting about it to my stepfather, expecting his sympathy, and he just shook his head, vaguely amused. Then he offered one of the best pieces of wisdom I’ve ever received: “She has the right to ask the question, and you have the right to say no.”

This was mind-boggling in both its simplicity and its radical reframing. The requests that I’d experienced as acts of violation were really nothing of the sort; it was not only my right but also my responsibility to draw my own boundaries, rather than expect another person to draw them for me.

In my early 20s, I’d struggled to cancel a gym membership — wondering whether the young “membership manager” was going to be yelled at by her boss if she didn’t meet her quota, because of me . And I’d always struggled to say no to a drink (or a joint, or a line), which wasn’t just about wanting to get drunk or stay that way (though yes, sure, of course) — it also had to do with imagining the twinge of embarrassment or rejection the other person might feel if I declined.

What was so hard about saying no? Often it was the fear of disappointing someone, not being able or willing to meet some need. But it was also often the fear of permanently losing something — a chance, an opportunity, a connection. Every offer was a message that would self-destruct 10 seconds after I refused it, never to be seen again.

We are having trouble retrieving the article content.

Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.

Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.

Thank you for your patience while we verify access.

Already a subscriber? Log in .

Want all of The Times? Subscribe .

Learning How and When to Say No

(Even to a Teacher!)

Time Management
Homework Tips
Learning Styles & Skills
Study Methods
Private School
College Admissions
College Life
Graduate School
Business School
Distance Learning
M.Ed., Education Administration, University of Georgia
B.A., History, Armstrong State University

Learning to say no to people is one of the best things you can do for yourself, yet many people find it extremely difficult. Why? Because they want to be liked. The ironic thing is, people will like you better and respect you more if you say no when it's appropriate!

1. People will respect you. People who say yes to everything in an attempt to be liked are quickly recognized as pushovers. When you say no to someone you are letting them know that you have boundaries. You are showing that you respect yourself--and that is how you gain respect from others.

2. People will actually see you as more dependable. When you say yes only when you have the time and true ability to do a great job, then you'll gain a reputation for being dependable. If you say yes to everything, you're bound to do a bad job at everything.

3. When you're selective with your tasks, you'll sharpen your natural strengths. If you concentrate on the things you're good at, you'll be able to improve on your natural talents . For example, if you're a great writer but you're not so great as an artist, you may volunteer to write speeches but you shouldn't sign up to make the posters for your club. Concentrate on your strength and build your skills (and your experience) for college.

4. Your life will be less stressful. You may be tempted to say yes to people in order to please them. In the long run, you're only hurting yourself and others when you do this. You stress yourself out by overloading yourself, and you experience increased stress when you realize you're bound to let them down.

When to Say No

First let's point out the obvious: Do your homework .

You should never say no to a teacher, friend, or family member who is merely asking you to live up to your responsibilities. It's not okay to say no to a class assignment, just because you don't feel like doing it for some reason. This is not an exercise in cockiness.

It is OK to say no when somebody is asking you to step outside your true responsibilities and outside your comfort zone to take on a task that is dangerous or one that will overload you and affect your academic work and your reputation.

For example:

If a teacher suggests that you become the president of a club that he or she is advising, but your schedule is already over-packed.
If a popular athlete asks you to help with his/her homework and you don't have time.
If anybody asks you to do their homework for them.
If anybody asks you to give them information that was on a test (if they have a later class with the same teacher).

It can be very difficult to say no to somebody whom you really respect, but you'll find that you actually gain respect from them when you show enough courage to say no.

How to Say No

We say yes to people because it's easy. Learning to say no is like learning anything: it seems really scary at first, but it's so rewarding when you get the hang of it!

The trick to saying no is doing it firmly without sounding rude. You must avoid being wishy-washy. Here are some lines you can practice:

If a teacher asks you to take on more responsibility than you need: Thank you for thinking of me, but I will have to say no. I'm just over-scheduled at this time.
If a teacher asks you to do something you don't feel comfortable with: This sounds like it would be a great opportunity for somebody, but it's not right for me.
If somebody wants you to cheat: Sorry, I don't share my homework. That would get us both in trouble.
If somebody tries to push work off on you: I just don't have the time to do a good job at that right now.
If somebody tries to overload you with a task: I can't do that because I have an assignment due tomorrow.
If somebody tries to unload a problem on you: I understand your situation, but I don't have an answer for you.

When You Have to Say Yes

There will be times when you want to say no but you can’t. If you're working on a group project , you have to take on some of the work, but you don't want to volunteer for everything. When you have to say yes, you can do it with firm conditions.

A conditional "yes" may be necessary if you know you should do something but you also know you don't have all the time or resources. An example of a conditional yes is: "Yes, I'll make the posters for the club, but I won't pay for all the supplies."

Saying no is all about gaining respect. Gain respect for yourself by saying no when it's necessary. Gain the respect of others by saying no in a polite way.

8 Benefits of Time Management
Top 10 Ways to Waste Time in College
5 Disadvantages of Bad Time Management
College Time Management 101
How to Stay Organized in College
How to Be on Time
7 Time Management Tips for Finals Week
5 Steps to Get Organized in College
Tips for Remembering Homework Assignments
Tips for Preparing for the New School Year
Procrastination and Homework
Organize Your Time With a Day Planner
Motivation Tips for Students
5 Tips for Reading Shakespeare
Memorizing the Bill of Rights Amendments
Homework Guidelines for Elementary and Middle School Teachers

How To Say No To Others
by Celes |
Business , Career & Work , Productivity , Relationships , Self-Improvement

Do you have problems saying no?

I used to be really bad at saying no. Part of it was because I didn’t like to leave people in the lurch. Another part was because I didn’t want to disappoint others. There was also a part of me that felt that saying no would mean burning bridges with others (part of my Chinese upbringing), and I didn’t want to jeopardize my relationships with others.

Hence I would say yes whenever I could, to avoid saying no.

Reality of Saying Yes

While saying yes may seem like an easy way out — to avoid saying no, to avoid unpleasantries — it’s a terrible solution in reality.

Because while it provides quick short-term relief (such as avoiding confrontation with others and dealing with uncomfortable emotions), saying yes has its own long-term implications. Because every time we say yes to something, we say no to our own priorities. Think about it:

Every time you say yes to the things you don’t really enjoy, you say no to the things you do enjoy.
Every time you say yes to things you’re not really keen on, you say no to the goals you could be working on.
Every time you say yes to meetups that often go nowhere, you say no to time with the people you really care about.
And every time you say yes to yet another favor, you say no to the things that are the most important to you.

So when I first started my business, I said yes to almost everything. Meetups, networking sessions, meetings to pick my brain, favors, collaborations, blog interviews, media interviews, workshops, etc. — it was a yes , yes , and yes all the way.

This worked well for the first few years. But as my business grew and I became more established in the field, I found myself with more requests than I could deal with. I also regularly received requests for things that I didn’t really care about, from people who were persistent in getting my time, which would move their agenda to the top of my to-do list.

After a while my days became filled with what others wanted from me. I was constantly busy meeting people and helping them in things they wanted to do, but not nudging forward in the things I wanted to do. I found myself busy doing interviews, answering emails for help, collaborating with others as a favor, agreeing to sessions to pick my brain, and giving advice to everyone, with no time for my own projects.

Soon, I became burnt out. My time was no longer my own — it was taken over by what others wanted from me. I became deeply unhappy and miserable as the list of requests from others kept growing, and I just didn’t have space for myself and what I wanted to do.

This was when I realized the importance of saying no.

Why Saying No is Important

In an ideal world, we want to say yes to everyone. But saying “yes” just to avoid conflict or disagreement isn’t the way to go. Saying no is necessary to…

Get things done. The reality is that all of us have limited hours a day. Unless we say no to the other things, we’ll never have time to get things done.
Have time for the important tasks. There is a category of goals that are highly important but will never become urgent, called the Quadrant 2 goals . They include finding your purpose, setting your five-year vision, working on your passion, and even starting your business. Saying no is about protecting your Q2 goals and ensuring that you have time for them.
Set boundaries for yourself. Some people assume that you are free all the time, that their requests are the most important, or that you should make time out for them and them only. But that’s not true. When you don’t reject others and set boundaries, people will keep assuming that you should give by default. Saying no is about setting boundaries and protecting yourself from others.
Regain control of your life. Lastly, saying no is about regaining control of your life and your schedule. To reject anything that doesn’t suit your goals and doesn’t make you happy so that you can create the life that you do want.

At the end of the day, every “yes” comes with its costs — your time, energy, happiness, and goals. While the cost may be small for each “yes,” little trickles of wrong yes’s over long will deviate you from where you want to be.

To push away all these costs, these deviations, you need to say no — so that you can say yes to what you want.

How to Say No

When it comes to saying no, there are two aims: you want to say no effectively, and you want to say no tactfully. Here are my 7 tips to say no.

1. Be direct

For the requests you want to reject, it’s much better to turn down the person right away rather than to put it off. The longer you stall, the more complicated it becomes, because now you have the added pressure of explaining why you took so long to reply. Just be direct and get to the point.

Whenever I find it hard to reject someone, I have a 2-sentence rule to get it over and done with. Start off with a “Sorry, I can’t.” Then, give your reason in one sentence. (Or if you don’t want to give a reason, just end it there.) Limiting your rejection to 2 sentences makes the rejection easier because rather than give some lengthy explanation about why you can’t do something, which makes you procrastinate rejecting the person, you cut right to the chase. Even if you end up replying in 3-4 sentences or more, the 2-sentence rule helps you get started.

“I’m sorry, I can’t make it for this appointment.”
“I’ll pass this round, sorry about that.”
“This doesn’t meet my needs at the moment. Thanks for having me in mind!”
“I’m tied down with something and won’t be able to do this. Sorry!”

2. Be sincere

Often times we are worried that if we say “no,” we’ll burn bridges. So we hum and haw and say yes. Or we relent and say yes when the person persists.

Here’s the thing — most people will accept your no when you are sincere in it. No lies, no gimmicks. Just plain raw honesty. E.g. “I’m not free to meet from now to June as I’m busy with [X]”, or “This isn’t a fit with what I wish to do right now, sorry.”

In my podcast episode on How To Say No To Others , I shared that I was once invited to be on a board of advisors by someone I held in high regard. While I wanted to reject it, I felt that I didn’t have a good reason to do so. It wasn’t because I had some other engagement — I simply wanted to focus on my own work, which is actually a valid reason itself. After worrying about this for a few days and editing and re-editing my email reply, I decided to be honest and say the truth: that being involved in this would take time away from my own projects and I didn’t want to be involved in it if I couldn’t give my 100%. And then I clicked “Send.”

As it turned out, he responded within a day, telling me that he had read my email with a smile, and that it was perfectly okay and not to worry about it at all!

Many times, our worries about others are unfounded. Focus on being sincere in your response, without lying or giving excuses. If the other person is understanding, they will understand it. If not, they may have mismatched expectations of you in the first place, and it’s best not to burden yourself with such expectations (see #6).

3. Focus on the request, not the person

One of the reasons I struggled with saying no in the past was that I didn’t want to reject the person . My mom wasn’t there for me when I was a child (in that she was emotionally vacant as a person ), and that made me want to be there for others. However, as I shared above, saying yes to everyone made me burn out. I was utterly drained and miserable.

In learning to say no, I learned to focus on the request and not the person. Meaning, instead of feeling obligated to say yes because I was afraid to let the person down, I learned to look at the request and assess if it is a fit with my plans. Is this something I can realistically do? Is this something I can afford to do right now? In light of all the things on my to-do list, can I do this without compromising on my other to-do’s?

If the answer is a “no,” then I’ll reject it. It’s not about the person. It’s nothing personal. It’s simply about the request itself, and the request simply isn’t something I can fulfill at the moment. When you review requests as they are, you objectively reject requests that are incompatible with you, versus forcing yourself to say yes just to make people happy.

4. Be positive

We’ve been taught to associate no with negativity, and that saying no will lead to conflict. But it is possible to say “no” and maintain a harmonious relationship. It’s about how you do it.

To start off, stop associating “no” with negativity. Realize that it’s part and parcel of human communication. When you see “no” as a bad thing, this negative energy will inadvertently be expressed in your response. There’s no need to feel bad, guilty, or worry about the other person’s feelings (excessively). This doesn’t mean that you should be tactless in your reply , but that you should not obsess over how others will feel.

Next, when saying “no,” explain your position calmly. Let the person know that you appreciate his/her invite/request but you can’t take it on due to [X]. Perhaps you have conflicting priorities, or you have something on, or you simply have no time. You would love to help or get involved if possible, but it’s not something you can afford to do now.

Even though you are rejecting the person’s request, keep the options open for the future. Let the person know that you can always reconnect down the road to meet, collaborate, discuss possibilities, etc.

5. Give an alternative

This is optional, but if you know of an alternative, share it. For example, if you know of someone who can help him/her, then share the contact (with the person’s permission of course). This should only be done if you happen to know an alternative, not to compensate for not saying yes. You are not responsible for finding alternatives for the other person.

6. Don’t make yourself responsible for others’ feelings

Another huge reason why I resisted saying no in the past was that I didn’t want to make others feel bad. I felt responsible for how others would feel, and I didn’t want others to be unhappy.

The result was that I would bend over backward just to make others happy. I spent countless late nights catching up on work as I put others’ needs before mine and only had time for my own stuff at night. This was terrible for my health and well-being.

At some point, we need to draw a line between helping others and helping ourselves. To be of service to others , we need to protect our health and happiness. Don’t make yourself responsible for others’ feelings, especially if they tend to respond negatively to your “no’s,” expect that you should be there for them (when you have no obligation to each other), and don’t seem to take no for an answer. If the person accepts your “no,” great; if not, then too bad. Do what you can, and move on if it’s beyond what you can offer… which leads me to point #7.

7. Be ready to let go

If the person is disrespectful of your needs and expects that you should always say yes, then you might want to re-evaluate the relationship.

Too often we are taught to maintain harmony at all costs, which is why we dislike saying no — we don’t want to create conflict. This is really true of my culture, where people say yes even though they disagree with something, only to harbor resentment and complain about it later on.

But when a relationship is draining you, you have to ask yourself if this connection is what you want. In a healthy relationship, both parties support each other. It’s not one where one party is constantly giving and giving while the other person keeps asking and taking.

When I evaluate the relationships that drain me, they are the ones where I’m not my real self, where I’m expected to say yes and the other party is unhappy if I say no. For such relationships, the other person is unhappy as long as there’s a “no” — it doesn’t matter how the “no” is said as the person simply expects a “yes.”

If you’re dealing with such a person, the question to you is, is this relationship worth keeping?

If no, then it’s simple — simply let go of it.
If this is an important relationship to you, then let the person know about this issue . It’s possible that they are not aware of what they are doing, and an open, honest conversation will open their eyes to it.

So instead of worrying about saying no to someone who cannot accept the “no,” which isn’t the real problem, you address the root issue — that you’re in a connection where you’re expected to be a giver . In the process of doing so, you remove relationships that are toxic and unhealthy. Perhaps in the process of doing this, you strengthen your relationship with him/her. Because now you can be openly honest with him/her and say yes or no as you desire, without feeling guilt, fear, or hesitation — which is what saying no should be about.

Check out as well:

How To Say No [Manifesto]
How To Say No To Others [Podcast]

Hi! I’m Celes. Thanks for reading. Personal Excellence is where I write about how to live our best life as we tackle life’s challenges. About Me »

How To Deal With Disillusionment
How To Deal With Uncertainty
How To Overcome Anger
How To Tackle Naysayers
How To Stop Analysis Paralysis
How To Deal With Critical People
How To Handle Negative Criticism
How To Give Constructive Criticism
How To Deal With Unsupportive Friends & Family
How To Improve Your Relationship With Your Parents
How To Find Your Life Purpose
How To Find Purpose After a Hard Fall in Life
How To Move On From a Heartbreak
How To Find Your Soulmate
How To Stop Procrastinating
How To Make Life’s Hardest Decisions
How To Stay Focused & Not Get Distracted
101 Ways To Live Your Best Life
101 Ways To Be a Better Person
101 Things To Do Before You Die
101 Questions To Ask Yourself

How Do I Meet Like-Minded People?

What Are You Running Away From? (Dealing with Escapism)

How To Get From Earning $6/hr to $1,000/hr

How To Get Constant Media Coverage for Your Business or Blog

10 Powerful Graduation Speeches You Don’t Want To Miss

Woman thinking, having to choose between different colored cups

What To Do When You Have Too Many Passions

Practical tips to tackle life’s challenges. Join my email list.

Greater Good Science Center • Magazine • In Action • In Education

Five Research-Based Ways to Say No

‘Tis the season to practice saying no. Many of us frequently say “yes” to invitations, favors, and requests in order to avoid the difficulty and discomfort of saying “no,” according to the research of Columbia psychologists Francis Flynn and Vanessa Lake . But saying “yes” when we mean “no” is a recipe for overwhelm and exhaustion.

Fortunately, there are ways to make saying “no” feel less uncomfortable. Below are research-based strategies for saying “no” (without ruffling too many feathers) in five different situations.

1: You’re asked to work late, but you had been planning to take some time for yourself, like by getting outside for a walk with your dog.

It’s hardest to decline a request when our reasons for doing so are vague, abstract, or seemingly unimportant—especially if we have to give our excuse face-to-face.

One helpful strategy can be to make our excuses more concrete. “I won’t get enough exercise today” can feel like a weak explanation. But if you actually block off time for things like “hike with Buster” on your calendar, you’ll be able to clearly see when you do and don’t have time to work late. That way, you’ll be able to say “no” with more conviction—like, “I have other plans tonight, but I could help you this weekend if you need it.”

As a bonus, when you have your most important priorities already blocked off on your calendar, you’ll be able to see when you actually do have time to help out. Offering those times to help out can make saying “no” even easier.

2: A committee, team, or group asks you to take on more work because they are all “too busy.”

Saying “no” to a group can be especially hard, as we risk disappointing not just one person, but many.

However, we probably don’t need to worry as much as we do. Because of what psychologists sometimes call the “harshness bias,” we often believe that people may judge us more negatively than they actually do. The reality is that most people won’t think less of you if you say no. In fact, people tend to respect us more when we are able to set healthy limits.

How best to say no in this situation? Take a moment to call up the respect for yourself that you’d like others to feel for you. It takes courage to consider your own needs and priorities along with the needs of the group, but in the long run it always feels better than being dumped on. Then be candid: “I’m so sorry, but I’m not able to do more than my share this week.”

3: You’ve been invited to a party and are really tempted to go, but you’re tired and suspect that you’re getting sick.

We human beings will often choose what is most satisfying in the present rather than what will be best for our future , especially when the present option is as pleasure-packed as a party.

We can make better decisions by visualizing the future as clearly as we can, rather than thinking about what we will miss out on now. Think about the last time you skipped sleep for a party. Visualize what happened in as much detail as possible. How did you feel the next day? Ask yourself: What will I look and feel like tomorrow morning if I don’t stay in and get some rest tonight?

Then in your response, summon your crystal ball: “Right now, in this moment, I want to go with you to that party more than you can imagine. But I know that I will regret it if I do. I can see my future if I go to that party, and I know I’ll be too tired to enjoy tomorrow if I go.”

4: Your plate is already too full.

5: Someone asks you to do them a little unethical favor, like cover for them while they skip work.

Americans tend to admire strong individuals who don’t cave in the face of peer pressure, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to reject an unethical request. In a series of studies published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin , psychologists had participants ask strangers to perform unethical acts—such as to vandalize a library book by writing the word “pickle” in it.

Fully half of the people asked to do something unethical did it. To say no to a request like this is even more difficult when it comes from a friend. To do so, we need to put our values front and center, reminding ourselves—and our friends—what matters most.

In this situation, two things are important: 1) compassion for your friend’s troubles and 2) your own integrity. Express both of these. Say “no” clearly, and repeat yourself using the same words, if necessary: “I’m so sorry that you are struggling right now, and I wish I could help. But I can’t lie for you. Integrity is really important to me.”

“No” may be very difficult for your friend to hear—as difficult as it is for you to say. Stand your ground. Repeat your compassionate refusal as many times as you need to. By using the same words with each repetition, you indicate to your friend that you aren’t going to be influenced no matter how much pressure they lays on.

Recall a time when you’ve said no, even when it was hard to do so. What strategy did you use? Reply in the comments.

About the Author

Christine Carter

Christine Carter, Ph.D. is a Senior Fellow at the Greater Good Science Center. She is the author of The New Adolescence: Raising Happy and Successful Teens in an Age of Anxiety and Distraction (BenBella, 2020), The Sweet Spot: How to Accomplish More by Doing Less (Ballantine Books, 2015), and Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents (Random House, 2010). A former director of the GGSC, she served for many years as author of its parenting blog, Raising Happiness . Find out more about Christine here .

You May Also Enjoy

Busy People Are Happy People

To sign up—or not to sign up.

Feel Like You’re Too Busy to Breathe? Here’s Some Help

21 Ways to “Give Good No”

22 Reasons Why It’s Important to Say No

There are so many advantages to learning and being able to say no. Develop the ability to say no so you can experience these changes in your life.

1. Protecting and Supporting Your Relationship With Yourself

When you’re unable to say no, you hurt the most precious thing you have – your relationship with yourself.

When you can’t say no, part of you isn’t getting the attention it needs. It’s as if you’re invisible to yourself.

You may feel conflicted. You can sense that some of your needs aren’t being met, heard, or recognized. Yet, another part of you is unwilling to accept that you’re doing things you don’t want to do.You criticize yourself for not being able to say no. You feel angry or disappointed with yourself for all the times you’ve said yes when you really wanted to say no.

When you say no to something or someone, you’re actually saying yes to other things that matter to you.

Learn to say no so you can feel more connected and at peace with yourself.

2. Maintaining Close Relationships With Others

When you’re unable to say no, you begin to resent the people you unwillingly said yes to. You may begin to think they made you do things against your will, and hold it against them.

As you hold that resentment, you may find it increasingly difficult to feel close to the people in your life, be open with them and trust their intentions. You may resist helping them the next time.

Your resentment might accumulate over time. Eventually you may not be able to contain it anymore, and it may come out in a way that is harmful to the other person and to the relationship. People may then stop seeing you as the caring person you really are.

Learn to say no to develop relationships in your life that are stable, close, and meaningful.

3. Accomplishing Your Aspirations and Goals

When you can’t say no, you put other people’s desires ahead of yours. You give your attention and sometimes even your money to things that you care less about.

Your resources are limited! You need to invest them in ways that are meaningful to you.

Learn to say no so you can decide how to use your resources in ways that support your aspirations and goals.

4. Letting People Know What You Really Need

People care about you. The people who are close to you, want to know what you really want. When you never say no, they can’t know what supports you, what you really need or want.

Let people know what you don’t want by saying no so they can contribute to your life.

5. Helping People Trust You

When you constantly say yes, people don’t know if you are capable of saying no. They can’t know if you really want whatever you are saying yes to, so they can’t trust you when you say yes.

Honesty creates trust.

Let people know you can say no, so when you say yes, they will know you really mean it.

6. Regaining Control Over Your Life

When you don’t say no, you’re giving those around you the power to make decisions for you. You may feel like you have no control over your life and that people are taking advantage of you.

Learn to say no so you can make your own decisions and avoid being controlled by others.

7. Allowing People To Get To Know You

When you’re only trying to satisfy others, you may not be expressing yourself, your desires, preferences, thoughts, feelings and needs. There is so much you may be keeping to yourself.

Learn to say no so people can get to know your true self.

8. Getting Fewer Irrelevant Requests

When you say no, you enable others to have more clarity about what they can expect from you. You help them understand what kinds of requests you respond positively to.

Then they learn to approach you for the things you are more likely to say yes to.

Learn to say no so you will get mostly relevant requests.

9. Being More Appreciated

When you always say yes, people take you for granted. They think it’s easy for you to do everything. They don’t and can’t know how much time and energy you are really putting into whatever it is you are doing for them.

Learn to say no so that people appreciate your yes and what you do for them.

10. Being Able To Do Your Best Work

When you can’t say no you become overcommitted.

You might be taking on more obligations and work than you want or can handle. Your attention might scatter between too many things. You may not be meeting your deadlines or completing tasks at all. You may not be doing things at the quality you would like or expect from yourself.

Learn to say no, to improve your performance and fulfill your true potential.

11. Enjoying What You’re Doing

When you say yes to something you don’t want to do, you won’t enjoy doing it. You won’t feel excited about it. It won’t make you happy.

Say no so you can enjoy what you do.

12. Saying No for Self Care

There are so many temptations, like junk food, alcohol, smoking, binge-watching, etc. Learning to say no to things that don’t support your well-being will help you take care of your health, sleep, nutrition, emotional wellbeing, physical safety and financial condition.

Learn to say no so you can take care of your well-being.

13. Having More Time

You may be spending a lot of time on things you don’t really care about.

Saying no will help you set your priorities and stick to them so you’ll have more time for the things you want to fill your life with – things that bring you excitement, connection, happiness, fulfilment and other experiences that you really want.

Learn to say no so you will have more time for whatever matters most to you.

14. Creating Healthy Boundaries

Being able to say no, to yourself and to others, is an essential skill for setting and maintaining healthy boundaries. Unclear boundaries can be a sign that you are unaware of the kinds of behaviors that are unacceptable to you or failing to speak out when you are treated in a way you don’t accept. Being unable to say no means that people will continue to treat you in ways that are harmful to you.

Learn to say no so you can set healthy boundaries and protect yourself.

15. Saying No To Yourself

An important aspect of healthy boundaries is being able to say no to yourself. It’s a major part of your relationship with yourself. You may often find yourself wanting to do something that is harmful (or at least not supporting) your or another person’s well being. You wish you were able to say no to yourself more easily and avoid the harmful behavior.

Learn to say no to yourself so you can make decisions that support you and others.

16. Protecting Your Freedom

In some cases, if you don’t say no and agree to do what you’re asked, you’re breaking the law and putting yourself in danger.

In other cases you may want to object to authorities who are limiting your freedom.

Learn to say no so you can protect your freedom.

17. Saying No To Protect Others

There is so much you are willing to do for the people you care about, whether they are family, friends, or other sufferers of injustice. You want to protect them, take care of their safety and freedom, and support them.

Many times there is injustice because people aren’t willing to take action and say no when they see people being treated in harmful ways. You can protect people by speaking out about the harmful ways you see them being treated.

In other cases, by saying no, you will be protecting people from themselves. Most of the decisions you’ll make will influence their lives, directly or indirectly.

Learn to say no so you can protect the people you care about.

18. Saying No to Protect the Environment

You can influence the way people and industries treat the environment. You probably care about protecting at least some of the things around you – nature, animals, air, water and the planet in general. In some way, you’re caring for the next generations, so they will have the conditions they need to continue living a healthy life. There are many threats to the environment and your voice can make a difference.

Learn to say no so you can protect the environment, for a better future.

19. Creativity

When you can’t say no, there is no room for your ideas. You cannot express your creativity. What you see differently from others could be a great gift for the people around you, your workplace, and for all humanity.

Learn to say no so you have more space for your creativity.

20. Being Treated With Respect

If you can’t say no, people will treat you disrespectfully and will not take you seriously.

Another aspect of respect is that if you don’t say no, you can’t know if others will respect your no, or how they will react to it.

That fear of not knowing how people will react may be one of your greatest fears around the difficulty to say no.

Learn to say no so you can meet your need for respect.

21. Giving Corrective Emotional Experiences

Many of us were hurt by the way people said no to us. This is also one of the reasons it’s difficult for us to say no, because we don’t want to give someone that hurtful experience. As you learn to say no with compassion, you can give the other person a new, healing experience. It comes from an inner place of caring and acceptance towards the other person’s needs.

Learn to say no with compassion.

22. Supporting Other People’s Emotional Growth and Resilience

When we avoid saying no, we sometimes mistakenly think that we are protecting other people from unpleasant emotions. We think that in this way we are contributing to their wellness.

We are usually unaware that by saying no and being able to be present and to support the other person with empathy, we are enabling them to practice feeling and being in (emotional) pain. Feeling pain when not alone and in a safe environment is a practice that makes people emotionally stronger and more resilient.

Learn to say no emphatically so you can support other people in becoming emotionally stronger.

I’m curious to hear which of the reasons you connected to most and in what way this article influenced you. I would love to read your comments.

About The Author

Privacy Overview

(646) 449-0491

The importance of saying “no”.

When someone asks you for a favor or invites you to an event, do you find yourself immediately saying “sounds great!” or “I’d love to!” before you have even mentally processed the request? If so, you are certainly not alone! Many of us are taught to be people-pleasers and say yes automatically, even when we actually want to say no. We have internalized the message that being a good friend/partner/employee/parent/human means always saying yes. This blog explores the importance of saying no to promote more authentic, balanced lives and relationships.

Prioritize your feelings and needs

You are the most important person in your life, after all, and deserve to put your own feelings and needs at the center of your life. You are worth it. This can feel quite challenging, especially when your needs conflict with those of someone you care deeply about. While prioritizing your own needs over those of someone else might sound selfish, it can be a profound act of self-care and highlights the importance of saying no.

You can’t take care of others if you’re not taking care of yourself

If you are someone who is very practiced at caring for others, it might feel extra hard to imagine how to say no. You are used to thinking about other people and making sure everyone is okay. This is a wonderful gift you offer to the people in your life. However, to be able to continue to offer that loving care to other people, you must make sure that your needs are met. Learning how to say no is an essential ingredient to self-care. Setting healthy boundaries will help you have the physical and emotional reserve to continue to care for others, without losing yourself in the process.

Saying no is a sign of respect

If you say yes to someone when you really don’t want to, that could lead to resentment, which could negatively impact the relationship. Saying no when that’s what you mean indicates respect for yourself and the other person. Because you’re being honest and authentic – qualities that cultivate healthy relationships. Another perk of saying no is that you are modeling this behavior for others in your life. This could set a positive example of the importance of this concept. You might inspire them to set healthy boundaries with you or others in the future, which could improve those relationships as well.

Saying no to one thing means saying yes to another

Every time you say no to something, you are simultaneously saying yes to something else! Respectfully declining to attend something that would have taken time means you just said yes to using your time for something you’d prefer. This could mean more sleep, going to the gym, an evening of Netflix, or time with loved ones.

It’s good practice

The more you practice saying no and setting boundaries, the more comfortable it will become. When thinking about how to say no, a great technique is to practice with low stakes situations, like declining something a salesperson is selling. As your comfort and confidence grow, you will be more likely to say no in higher stakes situations. For instance, when a loved one asks you for help with something you don’t feel you have the capacity to agree to.

Read more: How to Say “No” Without Being Rude

While it is a common experience to want to please the people in our lives by saying yes right away, it is important to not respond automatically. We must instead practice taking a moment to breathe and check-in with ourselves to notice what we actually want. If we realize we do mean yes, then our “yes” is authentic and a true choice. If we really mean no, then it’s wonderful to have the skills to be able to express that. Practicing some strategies to support us in saying no can shift our relationships to become more honest, authentic, and free of resentment.

What are some strategies you use to respectfully say no? Leave your answer in the comments below.

Understanding Postpartum Depression

Every body is a beach body: navigating body image during the summer, emotions 101: what are emotions [video], the wisdom of trauma: how hard times change your brain, join our community, sign up for our email list to get access to our free library of resources and to receive updates about all of our new content and upcoming events, contact information.

928 Broadway, Suite 806, NYC 10010
646-449-0491
[email protected]

We've evolved! Fingerprint for Success is now Marlee.

Learn to say no: How to turn things down (without feeling guilty)

It may not come naturally, but learning to say no is a crucial life skill to master.

For only being two letters long, “no” sure is difficult to say sometimes. There are countless moments in life when saying no is the best option, but the words just don’t want to come out and you end up with an overflowing schedule or nagging feelings of dread as the event approaches.

Whether it’s a fear of letting someone down, being an anxious people pleaser, or simply not feeling confident in your own judgement, saying yes to everything is actually more damaging than you might realize.

Like any other skill, learning how to say no takes some practice, but we’re here to walk you through some of the best ways to find your voice until “no” feels as natural as “yes.”

Why you should learn to say no

Before we get into how you can work on your “no”, you should know why it’s important. Here’s the short answer: When you can’t say “no,” you pile your plate to full and end up overwhelmed.

Even if you know you need to start lightening your load, making that switch can be challenging. After all, if you’ve spent so long agreeing to everything and helping anyone who asks, there could be a little friction when you first start turning them down.

It’ll be an adjustment for everyone, but it’s helpful to have a few reminders as to why you’re doing this for those moments when it feels tempting to slide back into your old ways.

1. You need space to rest and unwind

Being busy may be touted as a sign of a productive worker or living a wonderfully fulfilled life, and it certainly can be, but there’s also a danger of being at the mercy of a jam-packed calendar. When every hour of the day is accounted for and there’s no time for rest , your body will begin to shut down.

Like a car running on empty, you need space in your day for refueling to keep you going. Even a 10-15 minute break can put you in a better frame of mind and let you refocus on your priorities for the day. But finding that time can be a struggle when you agree to everything that comes your way.

2. Setting boundaries is healthy

For many of us, being helpful is a trait that goes all the way back to childhood. From being the teacher’s pet to our parents’ little helper, we’ve been conditioned to put our needs aside and assist others wherever necessary. While that’s a beneficial skill for all children to learn, the lack of balance has often meant that, as adults, we struggle to assert ourselves when it comes to protecting our own wants and needs.

Learning to say no and set boundaries, both with yourself and other people, is an important step in safeguarding your mental and physical health. If you’re not used to doing this, it can bring up uncomfortable feelings of selfishness, but that’s all part of developing this new skill. Clear boundaries are an essential feature of healthy relationships, generating mutual trust and respect between everyone involved.

3. You have more time for things you want to say “yes” to

There will always be endless demands on our time and there simply aren’t enough minutes to go around to make everyone happy. There are only 24 hours in a day and every time you say yes, you’re automatically saying no to something else. Once you realize and accept this, saying no becomes much easier.

When you learn to say no, pockets of space begin to appear in your day, ready to fill with what you actually want to do (yes, doing nothing at all is perfectly acceptable). Like setting boundaries, it’s all about prioritizing what matters most to you and letting another door open as you firmly close one behind you.

Why is it difficult to say no?

Simply knowing that saying no is good for us doesn’t make it any easier. If the thought of rejecting someone or passing on an opportunity makes you feel a little queasy, you’re not alone. In fact, peer pressure and social influence is to blame for many of the panicked “yes” moments that we tend to find ourselves in.

There’s plenty of research to support this. In 2019, a study found that parts of the brain that control reward learning and value processing are activated when individuals make decisions that follow the majority. A little like lab rats repeating behavior when rewarded with a piece of cheese, our brains send us all the good signals when we follow along with what the group wants, which further reinforces that behavior.

Cornell University has also found that, when asked by a complete stranger to complete a task, more than half of participants would do so, even if the task was morally or ethically questionable. Study participants would make comments like, “I don’t want to get in trouble” or “this feels wrong” but still go through with the action. When it comes down to it, there’s something built into our biology that makes it almost impossible to refuse.

Scientists believe that our natural behavior is programmed to benefit the group, a leftover relic from our earliest evolutionary days when we depended on each other for minute-to-minute survival as a species. Building and maintaining relationships has always been crucial for continued progress and disagreements can significantly upset the balance of a social group. To avoid conflict and preserve harmony, we’ve become conditioned to default to “yes.”

So when we learn to say no, we’re actively working against a biological current. No wonder it feels so difficult! Add personal backgrounds into the mix and saying no can feel as foreign as speaking a different language. As with most areas of psychology, the balance between nature (our biological makeup) and nurture (how we’re raised) is a delicate one.

Some people may be brought up to be incredibly assertive ; you’ll often find this personality type as CEOs or world leaders. Saying no is almost second nature to them. But for others, being able to accommodate the needs of others is their most important role and openly challenging authority (or at least the people in control of a situation) is a sign of incompetence and rudeness. For those individuals, advocating for themselves takes years of practice and hard work, overcoming the thoughts and beliefs that were continuously reinforced.

How can you improve saying no to people?

The best place to begin when you’re learning to say no is to first identify what your priorities are and, from there, what boundaries you want to start putting in place. It might be helpful to break these down into personal and professional buckets, especially if you find it difficult to say no in both areas of your life.

By asking yourself the following questions around hypothetical situations, you can get a good picture of what’s most important to you:

If I say yes to X, what will I be saying no to?
Will saying yes be potentially damaging to my mental health?
Have I said yes to this before and regretted it?
Does this align with my core values and beliefs or goals?

Once you have some of these ideas in mind, you’ll be much better equipped at dealing with those situations when they come up in real life. These are always good questions to come back to if you find yourself struggling as they help to center you with your core values and let you really think about what you want your answer to be.

Remember, it’s OK to say “can I get back to you on that?” and allow yourself some breathing space. Giving yourself permission to not jump into an immediate “yes” is a big step and is a small but mighty boundary that you’re putting in place by letting others know that they need to respect your time and needs as much as their own.

As with building any skill, saying no is going to take some practice. Start with something that doesn’t have any real impact, like saying “sorry, that day/time doesn't work for me” when scheduling an appointment or say “no, I’m fine thanks” if you’re offered a straw at a restaurant. It might seem inconsequential, but you’re training your mental muscles and learning to tune into how “no” feels.

What is the most polite way to say no?

Once you’ve decided that your answer is definitely going to be no, what’s the best way to deliver that message? As we’ve seen, even the science indicates that it’s going to be a little uncomfortable and potentially awkward, but there are plenty of ways that you can let someone down gently.

1. Show your gratitude

Start with the positives! This is especially useful in situations where the person asking you for something is a close friend or relative, or has specifically chosen you for the task. Saying no will potentially make you feel a little guilty, so showing sincere thanks will help to soften the blow.

Phrases like “thank you so much for thinking of me” or “I really appreciate you asking me” before you turn someone down is a good way to make them feel appreciated and understand that your no isn’t necessarily personal. In most cases, they’ll assume that you don’t have time in your schedule or can’t work on their request for some other small and non-malicious reason.

2. Be clear and upfront

If you can, decide on areas that are “hard no’s”, where nothing can shake you from your position. This helps to firmly establish boundaries with others and it’s very likely that they won’t ask you more than a couple of times if your answer is always no. It also gives you more confidence in your decision, which is essential when you’re still practicing how to say no.

Take that confidence and run with it into all of your yes or no situations. After all, no one likes an unclear answer that’s wrapped up in “well, maybe I could…” or an “I’m not sure” without a time limit. Asking to check your schedule is fine, but you do actually have to get back to them!

By being upfront with your no, you leave no room for confusion when it comes to what you’re saying. It’s up to you if you think the situation calls for an explanation or not, but try to keep it short if you do give a reason why.

3. Offer an alternative option

For the people-pleasers among you, offering a different solution should be right in your comfort zone. It’s an ideal situation–you get to practice saying no and free up your time for something else, all while still helping the person who came to you with the request. It’s a win-win.

When your no is based on a scheduling issue, offer an alternative date in the near future that works for you, especially if you’d be open to that opportunity again. You don’t have to get into endless amounts of detail, but throwing in a “Can we rain check that for another night? This week won’t work for me but I’d be happy to help next time” will keep any tension at bay. While it may be too late for the person asking, you’ve at least tried to help.

If your no is for another reason though, there are still plenty of alternatives that you can suggest. In professional situations, suggest other resources that your team could use in your absence or perhaps you know of a colleague who would love to help on a project that you need to turn down. Throw their name into the ring, particularly if they’re a junior employee or someone who is often overlooked. Not only will they be incredibly grateful for the opportunity, but your boss or other coworkers still have help when they need it.

Offering alternatives may feel like the easy way out, but it lets you off the hook while making sure that the person asking isn’t left high and dry. In most cases, it’s the perfect solution.

Feeling unmotivated?

Find out how to unlock your motivation.

Free up your time and learn to say no

Becoming comfortable with saying no after years of enthusiastic “yes, absolutely, of course!” answers is a challenge, but it’s worth the benefits that quickly follow.

Once you know and understand the basics behind your feelings, you’ll soon realize that it’s possible to retrain your mind to focus on what matters most to you and take the necessary steps to protect your personal boundaries.

Bring out the best in everyone.

Create your Marlee account now to start chatting and find out about yourself and your team.

Related Blogs

How not to hustle: A guide for savvy entrepreneurs

Hustle. It’s a phrase that is thrown around with abandon these days, especially in the context of entrepreneurship. It seems everyone and their uncle is firmly in the camp of hustling your little heart out until you achieve your dreams reach success.

Finding your work-life balance as a remote employee

More people than ever are working remotely and riding the waves of the work-from-home life. There are the highs (like increased productivity and reduced stress levels) and the lows (like feelings of loneliness and inconsistent communication).

The pros and cons of working remotely: How to thrive at home

We all inherently know that COVID-19 shifted a tremendous amount of thinking and doing around work, but … how significant is it, really? Fairly significant.

Blog › The importance of le…

The importance of learning to say “no”

The only validation you need is from yourself.

Why can’t I say no?

The inability to say no stems simply from an eagerness to please. We struggle to say no because we’re scared of what will happen if we do…

Perhaps the other person will get angry, think less of us – maybe they’ll even abandon us.

We might even take comfort in knowing we’re the “helpful” one – whether that’s at work, with friends or in our relationships. Our never-ceasing reliability has become part of our identity. And knowing people rely on us provides us with a sense of importance. It helps us feel worthy.

We’re not born with the inability to say no. In fact, to the contrary. As children, we find it easy to say no. So if this is something we struggle with in adult life, it means it was learnt.

It may have been modelled to us (if our parents were people-pleasers, for instance) or we might have had it drummed into us – either overtly or covertly – that our needs are somehow less important than others.

Perhaps you had a dominating parent who laid down strict rules for what you could or couldn’t do – and there were consequences for disobeying. Or maybe the punishment was more subtle… When you didn’t go along with what was expected of you, you were rejected and given the silent treatment.

In order words, you felt love but only when you fulfilled other people’s needs. Love was conditional, in this sense. If you asserted your needs, you knew it would be taken from you in a flash.

You abandoned yourself to avoid being abandoned by your parents.

Signs you’re a people-pleaser

You struggle to identify your own wants and needs – and you’re overly attuned to other people’s.
You experience a lot of shame.
You’re conflict averse. You’d rather go along with what other people want to keep the peace.
You’re often overworked. You work late and struggle to say no when asked to take on new projects, despite not having the time or resources.
You poll others before making a decision.
You might find yourself in a pattern of relationships with dominating or emotionally unstable/demanding partners.
You pretend to agree with things despite thinking something different.
You revert to passive aggression instead of expressing what you’re really thinking/feeling i.e. the silent treatment, playing the victim, backhanded compliments etc.
You’re a chameleon – you blend seamlessly into any social situation.
You frequently play therapist – to your friends, partner or family – but often leave these interactions feeling drained.
No matter how hard you try to please, you’re still left with the sense that you’re not “good enough”.

What are the benefits of saying no?

Your support, kindness and attunement to the needs of others is admiral in one sense – but not when it entails the loss of self.

You will never be able to become your true authentic self if you are continually bending to meet the needs of others.

We have limited energy, time and resources and we all have a responsibility to ourselves to use them wisely. If we’re always giving out – and not taking anything back for ourselves – then overtime we’ll simply burnout.

Saying no allows us to choose where we put our time and energy. It allows us to focus on giving it to the people – and parts of our life – that really deserve it.

And this is when we’ll start to thrive.

How to say no

If saying “no” is something new, you need to get comfortable with the idea that you’re going to feel guilty at first. But it’s about feeling the guilt, and doing it anyway.

When the guilt comes, just gently acknowledge it as it is, and move on with whatever you’re doing. You can try imagining locking it away in a cupboard or drawer, if it helps.

It can help to remind ourselves that we tend to overestimate the negative reaction we’ll receive when we say no. Often we’ll find that people are actually grateful for our clarity and honesty. And if they’re not prepared to respect our boundaries, then they’re not worth our time and energy anyway.

Below are some ideas for saying “no”:

“That sounds great but I’m afraid I’m busy” .

“I’m not able to take anything else on right now”.

“That sounds like a great opportunity but I’ll have to pass this time”.

“Thank you for thinking of me but this one isn’t for me”.

“I won’t be answering emails outside working hours”.

“I’d love to but I’m afraid I don’t have the time”.

“That doesn’t fit my schedule”.

“I won’t be able to help this time”.

For many people-pleasers, unravelling the roots of why saying “no” is so difficult is the key to breaking the habit. A therapist will be able to guide you in pinpointing where this stems from and equip you with the tools you need to start placing boundaries that enable you to put your attention where it counts – primarily, on you.

Share this post:

Start your therapy journey today.

Get matched to a psychologist, and have your first therapy session the same day.

Learn When to Say No

Bruce Tulgan

And how to say yes

If you’re like most people, you’re constantly fielding requests at work. The asks are formal and informal, large and small, and from all across the organization. The inflow is so great, you can’t possibly agree to everything. So it’s crucial to learn when to say no and how to say both no and yes.

Tulgan, who spent decades studying what makes people the most highly valued, indispensable employees at organizations, presents a three-part framework for managing the flood of requests. First, assess each ask, systematically gathering the details that will allow you to make an informed judgment. If you do have to turn someone down, deliver a well-reasoned no. A good no is all about timing and logic—it’s in order whenever things are not allowed, cannot be done, or should not be done. Moreover, it’s communicated in a way that makes the asker feel respected. If the answer is yes, make it an effective one by explaining how you think you can help, pinning down the deliverables, and laying out a focused plan for execution.

A considered no protects you. A good yes allows you to serve others, add value, and collaborate effectively. If you become skilled at conveying both, you can avoid burnout, increase your influence, and enhance your reputation.

Ever since companies started working more cross-functionally and collaboratively, exchanging top-down management for dotted-line reporting with fuzzy accountability, work has gotten more complicated. All day every day, most of us are fielding requests. The asks are formal and informal, large and small. They’re not just from direct bosses and teammates but also from “internal customers” all over the organizational chart. Add to this the demands of external stakeholders, of family, friends, and acquaintances, and sometimes even of complete strangers. The requests keep coming—across tables and through zoom screens, by phone, e-mail, and instant message.

BT Bruce Tulgan is the founder of the management training firm RainmakerThinking and the author of The Art of Being Indispensable at Work: Win Influence, Beat Overcommitment, and Get the Right Things Done (Harvard Business Review Press, 2020).

Partner Center

Why Is It Hard to Say “No” and How Can You Get Better at It?

Is there a polite way to say "no".

Posted January 15, 2016 | Reviewed by Ekua Hagan

Dave wasn’t quite ready to get married, but his girlfriend, Lizzie, had made it clear that the time had arrived. She brought it up almost daily. “We’ve been together for four years,” she said. “I know you love me. We’re really happy together. So why you don’t want to marry me?”

Dave knew she was right. He loved Lizzie and wanted to be with her forever. But some part of him still wanted to say “no” to marriage , at least for the moment. He just couldn’t explain it to her.

Janie had recently broken up with her boyfriend, and her friends were pressuring her to sign up to an Internet dating site. But Janie was reluctant. “My biggest problem is not whether or not any guys will be interested in me,” she said a little shyly. “I’m sure someone out there will be. But what if I’m not interested in them? How do I politely reject someone? I just hate the idea of hurting someone’s feelings. And what if someone doesn’t take ‘no’ for an answer? It’s hard for me to be really firm.”

Larry’s buddies were going to an expensive club. Larry didn’t have that kind of money to blow on a night of drinking, and he also didn’t really want to get wasted, which he knew was going to be the end result of the evening. But he could not figure out how to get out of it without pissing off all of his friends.

Susie had landed a paying internship at the company of her dreams . She knew that she was starting at the bottom, but she had hopes that her new employers would be impressed by her abilities and that she would quickly move up in the business. At her interview, she had said that she would be willing to do anything they wanted, but really, she had no idea that they were going to expect her to keep the kitchen clean and pick up coffee and doughnuts for the morning meeting.

Do any of these situations sound familiar?

In a recent Forbes Business article, Jonathan Becher offers several quotes from powerful men who consider “no” to be an important part of a successful life strategy: Here are just three of his examples:

Steve Jobs: “Focusing is about saying ‘no.’”

Warren Buffett: “We need to learn the slow ‘yes’ and the quick ‘no.’”

Tony Blair: “The art of leadership is saying no, not saying yes. It is very easy to say yes.”

But for many of us, it’s not so easy to develop this art.

Why is this?

Fear of conflict

Many of us are afraid of conflict. We don’t like others to be angry with us or critical of us. We therefore avoid saying “no” when we are afraid that it will put us into conflict with someone else, whether that someone is an intimate partner, a colleague or friend, or a supervisor or boss. Many of us also try to avoid battles with our children, because we feel that if we say “no” to them, they will stop loving us.

As children, we are taught not to go against authority. We are supposed to do what parents, teachers, and others in power tell us to do. We obey because of fears of being punished, but also because of a desire to please and be loved by these people who are very important to us. We carry this worry with us into adulthood.

But we are also pulled by a desire to fit in with and be liked by our peers. Research has shown that men and women have a tremendous need to belong to a peer group. Whether boy or girl, man or woman, we desire acceptance by our friends or the people we want to be friends with, as a way of establishing and maintaining a sense of identity , of “selfness.”

Don’t want to disappoint or hurt someone

So, you don’t want to tell your mom you won’t be home for the holidays because she’ll be so disappointed. Okay, makes sense, right? Sometimes we do things that make others feel better, even if it’s not quite what we want to do. But what if she’s going to be disappointed that you are making a job or a career choice that she doesn’t like, but that is your total dream? Or what about something small, like disappointing a friend by not going out to dinner with her when you’ve got a huge work project due the next day? Or even smaller, what if you and your boyfriend or girlfriend can’t agree on a restaurant or a movie? Do you give in so that they won’t be disappointed?

Desire to be unique

Yet we are also encouraged to think “outside the box,” to focus on our unique talents and our personal truths. Most of us want to be viewed as special in some way, as different from the very group that we belong to. It is sometimes this need to be seen as a separate person that drives those of us who defy authority, often to our own detriment. “You’re not the boss of me,” shouted at some time or another by many young children, is a driving life force for all of us. But of course defiance and purposefully unacceptable behavior can backfire. It can make you stand out, but it can also separate you from the very group that you want to belong to.

Here’s a funny thing about the quality of specialness and difference. It seems that for many of us, feeling different feels best within the context of an accepting, affirming peer group!

Harder for women?

My Psychology Today colleague Kathryn Lively writes that women often have difficulty saying “no” to men because we want to get along, want to be nice and don’t want to hurt another person’s feelings. In my work as a therapist over the years, I have certainly seen plenty of examples of this phenomenon; but I have also worked with many men who don’t say “no” because they don’t want to “rock the boat.”

What can you do about it?

There are many techniques for getting better at saying “no,” once you’ve located some of the psychological reasons that make it difficult.

Marcia Linehan, creator of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), suggests practicing saying “no” in small, unimportant situations, like not buying something at a drugstore.
Eating disorder specialist and my PT colleague Susan Albers suggests that you stop and breathe before saying “yes,” in order to give yourself a little space and an opportunity to assess and respond to your own needs.
Seek advice. We’ll talk more about this in a moment, but in essence, the point is to get backup for your own position.
Don’t be fooled by the word “everyone else…” It is almost universally untrue that everyone else is doing the same thing or wants you to do whatever is being asked of you.
Take a minute to ask yourself how bad the guilt , anxiety , disappointment, or other emotions you might feel if you don’t do whatever’s being asked of you will be. Can you tolerate them? Is it worth it to do that thing in order not to feel those feelings?
Assess the fallout. How bad will it be? Again, is it worth it to give in? Or not to? Consider that there is no perfect answer. If you say “yes” this time, you can try “no” sometime later. And maybe, just maybe, “yes” this time will make it easier to say “no” the next time.
Remember that you can change your mind in most cases. Don’t get trapped by the belief that you only have one opportunity. There will be many more (see above).
And finally, remember that sometimes “yes” is actually a better answer. We’ll talk more about this in a minute.

Getting backup

So how does this fit with saying “no?" It seems that most of us feel much better about saying “no” to someone if we have the backup of some buddies or folks that we trust.

Dave, for example, talked to his brothers and sister about his quandary with Lizzie. They helped him to put into words what he was feeling, and also to think about what was going on for Lizzie. After several conversations, he was able to explain to Lizzie that he loved her very much but wanted to ask her to marry him on his own time. Every time she brought it up, he felt like she was telling him what to do — “like my Mom, not my future wife.” They agreed that this theme of Lizzie acting like his Mom and Dave acting like a kid was something they needed to work on in their relationship in general. But now that they had a way of talking and thinking about why he was dragging his heels, Lizzie actually didn’t feel the need to keep pressuring him anymore!

Janie’s friends offered her a variety of techniques for saying “no” to guys, from “ ghosting ” or simply not answering their calls, which she said she could never do, to saying nicely but firmly that she simply didn’t think it was going to work. “It’s just part of the process,” she realized. “It’s not me being a mean or bad person.”

Larry also talked to a couple of friends who were not part of the drinking group. They told him that they just saw it as a waste of their time. “You spend a ton of money on something that leaves you feeling miserable and that affects your performance the next day,” they told him. “And the truth is, those guys won’t even notice if you don’t go. They’re just pushing you because they want the company.” To Larry’s amazement, they were right. He simply said that he couldn’t do it the next time, and after a couple of tries to change his mind, the other guys left him alone. And there was no change in the way they treated him at work. “I don’t even know that they realized I wasn’t there in the end,” he said.

Sometimes, “no” is the wrong word

Susie’s situation was a little different. In her case, after talking to several friends who supported her indignation — “you weren’t hired as a gofer or a maid!” said one, and “they wouldn’t do that to a guy,” said another — Susie talked to an older mentor, who said that in fact they would and had done exactly the same with male interns, that she was at the very bottom of the ladder, and that if she hung in there and made herself as useful as possible, not just in menial tasks but also doing research for projects and even, when appropriate, offering thoughts or ideas about current and future projects, she would soon find herself moving up the ladder. Her mentor said that she was not encouraging her to make herself into a doormat or that she accept inappropriate demands, but that in this particular case saying “no” would be counterproductive. And she then pointed to two senior members of the staff and said that they had each been interns at one time – and had each cleaned the fridge and brought coffee to the other staff.

All names and personal information have been changed to protect identities and confidentiality.

Discover The Power of Saying No

Change your story. Change your life

“No” – it’s a small word that packs a lot of power. It carries with it an invisible force that can make it feel like overly oppressive, or even like a dirty word. We’re often taught that saying “no” is a negative thing, that it hurts those around us and causes us to miss out on new, exciting opportunities. It’s no wonder so many people are uncomfortable saying it.

But the truth is, when you say “no,” you’re not saying “I hate you,” and you’re not insulting someone, you’re simply exercising your right to say “no.” Because it is a right , not a privilege.

The power of no

So, why do so many people have an issue telling someone else “no”? The truth lies not in the obvious – a need to please – but rather in the fact that some of us have the tendency to put others’ objectives above our own . Our inability to say “no” stems from the fact that we want to reassure and make others feel comfortable is a notion you need to shake, immediately. Being unable to say “no” is not only unfair to ourselves, but it can be unfair to the other person as well.

Disregarding our own feelings and needs seems like the unselfish thing to do. After all, we are taught to give, not take. But, just because it’s easier to say “yes” doesn’t mean we should. Think about times when you’ve agreed to do something, be it in your professional or personal life, and later resented yourself or the person who asked you for something later. How did that make you feel? Didn’t you wish you could go back in time and tap into your right to say no?

Learning to say “No”

Sometimes giving yourself a moment to pause, assess the situation and decide if it’s really beneficial to you and others is a much stronger option. What if “no” would result in a better outcome for both parties? Saying “no” doesn’t have to mean you’re being self-serving. Say, for instance, a coworker asks you to crank out a last minute project over the weekend. You could agree to do so immediately, as you want to be seen as a team player. But when you really think about it, there are flaws in your coworker’s idea. If you follow through on this project, you’ll not only be wasting your time working on something that hasn’t been properly thought out, but you’ll also be taking time away from your family and friends over the weekend. The power of no can be beneficial for all parties involved sometimes.

Of course, if a hard “no” is still too difficult to say, there are other ways to state it. For instance: “I choose not to,” “Not at this time” and “That will not work for me” are all different ways to say “no” that don’t feel quite as harsh. Practice turning others down and get more comfortable in your right to say no. And remember, it is your right to decide how you spend your time .

In the end, remember, it’s your right to say no. It doesn’t mean you’re exercising some sort of immutable ego trip. It means you’re saying “no” because the proposed ask doesn’t suit your schedule or beliefs – and that’s okay.

Header image ©Gajus/shutterstock Article image © Family Business/shutterstock

a man in a blue shirt is watching a baseball game from the stands .

How To Find A Life Coach With Tony Robbins

Where are you in life? Do you want to reach a new level of success, but you’re not sure how to proceed? Have you been wondering how to find a life coach? Maybe you know you need a major change, but feel paralyzed by indecision. No matter your goals, working 1-on-1 with a professional coach can help. With a coach by your side, you’ll stay focused and accountable to the goals you set. The best life coaches can teach you proven strategies and tools that turn your dreams into reality.

Cultivating joy, peace, and love with the power of being you

Make 2024 your best year ever with this special gift from Tony Robbins Imagine our world if each of us took a moment to pause more often and reflect. What if we were more attuned to the miracle of everyday life? Amidst our hectic schedules and the continual pursuit of progress, there is an invitation to […]

Shape your best year ever at the 2024 time to rise summit

Create a Success Plan for 2024 Live at This Free January Event with Tony Robbins Become the Person You Were Meant to Be in 2024 With Tony Robbins on January 25-27 When… will you become the person, you were always meant to be?When… will the world experience the true greatness that lies within you?When… will […]

Effective gratitude practices

A meal cooked with love, a stranger’s smile when you hold the door, or being fully present for someone you care about. These are acts of gratitude. Often not newsworthy, but if we know where to look, gratitude is everywhere. They’re felt in the magic moments of life – the warmth of sun on your skin, […]

How to Live a Fulfilling Life

You can’t always control the circumstances of your life, but you can choose to have an extraordinary life. There’s no shortage of advice on happiness and how to live a fulfilling life. But most of it lies at one of two extremes. You either focus on achieving external goals – like more money, vibrant health, and better relationships – or […]

How to change your life with just one simple story

Uncover the unseen forces that define your destiny and transform yourself completely. Ever wonder what’s really steering your decisions and shaping your life? What unseen force causes someone with little resources to radiate joy, while another person feels miserable despite having all the success in the world? It’s not just your hard work or your […]

Change your story

Master Tony’s proven strategies to create endless momentum and change the trajectory of your life.

Become the best version of yourself

Connect with like-minded individuals and start living the life of your dreams.

How it works

Transform your enterprise with the scalable mindsets, skills, & behavior change that drive performance.

Explore how BetterUp connects to your core business systems.

We pair AI with the latest in human-centered coaching to drive powerful, lasting learning and behavior change.

Build leaders that accelerate team performance and engagement.

Unlock performance potential at scale with AI-powered curated growth journeys.

Build resilience, well-being and agility to drive performance across your entire enterprise.

Transform your business, starting with your sales leaders.

Unlock business impact from the top with executive coaching.

Foster a culture of inclusion and belonging.

Accelerate the performance and potential of your agencies and employees.

See how innovative organizations use BetterUp to build a thriving workforce.

Discover how BetterUp measurably impacts key business outcomes for organizations like yours.

Daring Leadership Institute: a groundbreaking partnership that amplifies Brené Brown's empirically based, courage-building curriculum with BetterUp’s human transformation platform.

Brené Brown and Alexi Robichaux on Stage at Uplift

What is coaching?

Learn how 1:1 coaching works, who its for, and if it's right for you.

Accelerate your personal and professional growth with the expert guidance of a BetterUp Coach.

Types of Coaching

Navigate career transitions, accelerate your professional growth, and achieve your career goals with expert coaching.

Enhance your communication skills for better personal and professional relationships, with tailored coaching that focuses on your needs.

Find balance, resilience, and well-being in all areas of your life with holistic coaching designed to empower you.

Discover your perfect match : Take our 5-minute assessment and let us pair you with one of our top Coaches tailored just for you.

Find your coach

Research, expert insights, and resources to develop courageous leaders within your organization.

Best practices, research, and tools to fuel individual and business growth.

View on-demand BetterUp events and learn about upcoming live discussions.

The latest insights and ideas for building a high-performing workplace.

BetterUp Briefing

The online magazine that helps you understand tomorrow's workforce trends, today.

Innovative research featured in peer-reviewed journals, press, and more.

Founded in 2022 to deepen the understanding of the intersection of well-being, purpose, and performance

We're on a mission to help everyone live with clarity, purpose, and passion.

Join us and create impactful change.

Read the buzz about BetterUp.

Meet the leadership that's passionate about empowering your workforce.

For Business

For Individuals

How to say no to others (and why you shouldn’t feel guilty)

Jump to section

Why is it so hard to say no?

When you should say no, why it’s important to say no, 10 different ways to say no, helpful tips on how to say no, how to decide when to say no.

N.O. No. Two simple letters. One simple word.

But why is it sometimes so difficult to say no?

For many people, saying no is packed with guilt. Maybe you’re afraid of disappointing someone . Maybe you’re anxious to turn down your boss. Or maybe you’re a people pleaser.

No matter the reasons, learning how to say no is an important skill for your personal health and well-being . Our time and energy are precious resources that we should use wisely. And that means we can’t do everything.

Let’s explore how to say no in different situations and why declining certain requests is sometimes better than saying yes.

For some adults, the inability to say no stems from childhood. From an early age, children are taught to be polite and forthcoming . If a parent or teacher asked a child to do something, saying no was interpreted as a form of backtalk. In some cases, refusing an adult meant punishment or negative reinforcement.

However, this can cause issues around communication and self-assertion. Being raised to believe that saying no is bad makes it difficult for children to communicate their preferences. For some people, this inability to speak up for themselves continues into adulthood.

Another reason you may find it difficult to say no is if you doubt yourself. With imposter syndrome , you feel like you are not good enough to do the role that you are in.

Because of these feelings, you avoid saying no to others. You are afraid they will think you are unable to perform your roles and responsibilities . It can also make it hard to say no to yourself. You constantly feel that you have to say yes to prove to yourself that you can actually do your job.

coworkers-chatting-in-office-how-to-say-no

There is also empathy and human nature to consider. We are social creatures that rely on human connection . Because of our need to belong , we are afraid to disappoint others or create conflict .

In a study from the University of Waterloo, people were asked to carry out tasks that went against their ethics. Although they voiced their objections, half the subjects agreed to deface a library book . This was because saying no felt too difficult.

This kind of behavior shows our inherent desire to avoid conflict and keep the peace . But is it possible that our need to be liked can do us more harm than good?

Let’s find out.

If you struggle to say no, learning to identify signs of personal discomfort can help you know when to draw the line.

These five signs indicate you need to say no for your own good.

1. If you feel uncomfortable

Nobody knows your limits better than you do. If you are asked to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable, it could be a sign that you need to say no. Take a moment to do some mindful breathing and listen to your intuition.

2. You feel guilty or obligated

In a work situation, it can be particularly difficult to say no. Your job may require you to oblige when superiors delegate tasks to you . But that doesn’t mean your time and energy are less valuable than theirs.

Use your self-advocacy skills to step up and say no. Your decision should not be based on guilt or obligation.

3. When you’re overloaded

If you are overloaded with work, say no to more tasks or projects. Wait until you’ve freed up some time and energy before you take on anything new.

If you are always working long hours , say no to working on the weekend. COVID-19 has drastically increased the number of employees working from home . Research shows that remote employees work longer hours and face a bigger workload than before the pandemic hit.

You may also feel especially overloaded around the holidays , as obligations from both family and work pile up. You likely need to wait until after the holiday season to take on anything new.

Keep in mind that saying no to yourself is just as important as saying no to others. Putting pressure on yourself only adds to your stress and anxiety . Make sure to prioritize your mental health and physical health to avoid burnout .

4. If the request crosses your personal boundaries

When someone asks you to do something that crosses your boundaries , it is important to stop the process in its tracks and say no. Your boundaries are worth standing up for.

5. If you are only saying yes to please someone else

While pleasing others is a natural incentive for performing tasks, it shouldn’t be the only reason you work hard. If pleasing someone else comes at the cost of your own happiness and well-being , it isn’t worth it.

Let’s go through a couple of reasons why it’s so important to say no.

Do less to deliver more. Focus on one thing at a time, and do it well. You can produce much higher quality work when your energy is directed into projects you enjoy.
Saying no can benefit your performance and career. Being assertive pays off. It gives you the freedom to pursue projects that are in alignment with your professional goals . And it keeps you on track with your future career plans .
It’s important for your mental well-being . Our mental fitness suffers when we bite off more than we can chew. To maintain mental clarity , you need to say no to tasks you know you can’t handle.

woman-reading-a-book-in-cafe-how-to-say-no

Prevent burnout. Burnout is becoming an increasingly big problem for modern-day employees . Working too hard for too long can cause a backlog of fatigue . This jeopardizes both mental and physical health.
Build and maintain strong and healthy relationships. Clear boundaries and mutual respect are both indicators of a healthy relationship. You can keep the relationships in your life strong by setting boundaries and respecting others.
Always saying yes can prevent you from achieving your personal goals . Even the most successful people know where their limitations lie. You can’t achieve your goals with minimal energy . Keep your dreams intact by taking care of your body and mind .
Be realistic about your capabilities. Sometimes, willingness is not the issue. You may not have the right skills and abilities for what is being asked of you at work. This alone is a valid reason to decline a request.
It’s an important part of self-care . Taking time to yourself allows for higher energy levels , more focus , and an improved state of mental health . Saying no to extra work when you know you need a break is a courageous act of self-care .

When it comes down to it, the reason saying no is so important is because it protects our best interests.

Whether it’s your physical health, mental health, or psychological health, saying no preserves your inner strength. It paves the way for holistic wellness .

In theory, most of us can grasp the concept of why saying no is so important. However, actually forming the words in real life can be scary and overwhelming.

In moments like these, it can help to have some statements prepared that you can turn to for guidance. These 10 phrases can be used as substitutes for the simple “no” next time you find yourself backed into a corner.

Sadly, I have something else going on.
I have another commitment.
I wish I were able to.
I’m afraid I can’t.
I don't have the bandwidth for that right now.
I’m honored you asked me, but I simply can’t.
Thanks for thinking of me. However, I’m not able to.
I’m sorry, I’m not able to fit this in.
Unfortunately, I already have plans. Maybe next time!
No, thank you, but it sounds lovely.

You do not necessarily owe someone an explanation about why you are saying no. In fact, sometimes, simply saying no and not going into further detail can help you to come across as calmer and more decisive.

Many of us could use a helping hand when it comes to being more assertive. Learning how to say no can be a lifelong journey, but everyone has to start somewhere.

Practice saying no. Knowing when to say no takes time and practice. The more often you say no, the easier it will become. Practice assertiveness in all areas of your life until the habit is built into your lifestyle.
Communicate your decision clearly. The clearer you are about saying no to someone, the better they will respond. If you are notably unsure about your decision to decline, it could be harder for others to respect your decision. Aim for clarity and simplicity.

smiling-woman-talking-to-colleague-how-to-say-no

Express gratitude for being asked. If someone asks you to do something and you respond with a no, a little bit of gratitude might help soften the delivery. Expressing thanks for being offered a new task will show others you care about their position, too.
Take your time to make an informed decision . If you’re uncertain about whether you want to accept a new task, that’s okay. Take your time to consider the pros and cons, and then you can re-enter the conversation with a clear head.
Be assertive but respectful. Not everyone who asks you to do something is trying to take advantage of you. They may just be desperate for assistance. If you can’t accept their offer, be respectful in how you communicate with them.
Don't beat around the bush. Providing long-winded explanations about why you can’t do something rarely makes things easier. Instead, opt for a short, simple, and straightforward approach to saying no.
Understand the power of influencing tactics. Influencing tactics are strategies used to engineer a specific outcome. By gaining a better understanding of how influence works (particularly in the workplace), you can become a stronger and more assertive employee.
Seek advice from others. Almost everyone can relate to the dilemma of people-pleasing. Ask your friends and family members if they have any tips. For professional advice, seek help from a mental health professional. They can give you expert guidance on how to say no the next time you feel put on the spot.

Struggling to know if you should say no? It can help to have a mental list of questions to ask yourself when the right choice isn’t yet clear. There’s nothing wrong with taking some time to make the right decision.

puzzled-man-at-desk-deciding-how-to-say-no

The next time someone asks you to do something, and you’re not sure how to respond, use these questions as a template for gaining insight.

Do I have the time and energy to do this?
Will saying yes add value to my life?
What makes saying “no” important to me?
Is someone trying to bully or gaslight me?
Am I doing this just to please someone else?
Am I being used?
Does saying no to this mean I can say yes to something else more important?
Am I saying yes just because I am afraid of missing out?
Does something more important require my attention right now?
Do I need time to rest and recharge?
What would need to change about this opportunity to make it a “yes”?

Learn how to say no so that you can say yes to well-being

We all need a little support sometimes. Especially when it comes to managing communication with others . But to be the healthiest, happiest version of yourself , you need to lay down boundaries.

Whether you’re at home or at work, knowing how to say no is a skill you can benefit from for the rest of your life. Prioritizing your needs is one of the most loving things you can do for yourself.

If you need help learning how to say no, reach out to BetterUp. We help individuals realize their potential by building their skills, mindsets, and behaviors. Request a demo to learn more .

Understand Yourself Better:

Big 5 Personality Test

Elizabeth Perry, ACC

Elizabeth Perry is a Coach Community Manager at BetterUp. She uses strategic engagement strategies to cultivate a learning community across a global network of Coaches through in-person and virtual experiences, technology-enabled platforms, and strategic coaching industry partnerships. With over 3 years of coaching experience and a certification in transformative leadership and life coaching from Sofia University, Elizabeth leverages transpersonal psychology expertise to help coaches and clients gain awareness of their behavioral and thought patterns, discover their purpose and passions, and elevate their potential. She is a lifelong student of psychology, personal growth, and human potential as well as an ICF-certified ACC transpersonal life and leadership Coach.

10 ways to take time for yourself even with a hectic schedule

Understanding the mental health journey — and how to read the map, overcoming procrastination: 5 ways to stop putting off your success, exercise and mental health: why physical exercise is good for your mind, how (and why) to cultivate a positive mental attitude, the benefits of shadow work and how to use it in your journey, what is cognitive flexibility, and why does it matter, corporate jargon: 7 example phrases to avoid and what to say instead, the benefits of knowing yourself: why you should become your own best friend, don’t let me down: how to get over a fear of disappointing others, why you shouldn’t use 'differently-abled' anymore, your guide to drawing the line and setting boundaries that work, one life skill everybody needs: learn how to stand up for yourself, setting boundaries at work and in relationships: a how-to guide, how to know if i’m oversharing and when to stop, prioritize you here’s how to focus on yourself, how to increase your personal well-being ... at work, how to stop being a people-pleaser: 10 tips, stay connected with betterup, get our newsletter, event invites, plus product insights and research..

3100 E 5th Street, Suite 350 Austin, TX 78702

Platform Overview
Integrations
Powered by AI
BetterUp Lead™
BetterUp Manage™
BetterUp Care®
Sales Performance
Diversity & Inclusion
Case Studies
Why BetterUp?
About Coaching
Find your Coach
Career Coaching
Communication Coaching
Personal Coaching
News and Press
Leadership Team
Become a BetterUp Coach
BetterUp Labs
Center for Purpose & Performance
Leadership Training
Business Coaching
Contact Support
Contact Sales
Privacy Policy
Acceptable Use Policy
Trust & Security
Cookie Preferences

The Student Daily

Career, Notifications & Jobs

Essay on Say No to Plastic – 150,250,500 Words and 10 Lines Essay

November 15, 2021 by Son of Ghouse Leave a Comment

In this article, we will explain how to write an essay on “Say No to Plastic ” in 150, 250,500 words and 10 lines.

Today, plastic usage has increased gradually with the appearance of the number of shops in the market. Because of the most affordable and cheap material, plastic is used everywhere. Since plastic is non-biodegradable, it does not decompose easily.

Using plastics and depositing them in the garbage bin after their use harms the whole environment and Earth severely and decreases the quality of the soil in which it is getting blenched after several days.

Today, in this essay, we will discuss the harmful effects of plastic on the environment, how plastic changed the world and the usage of plastic in our daily life.

Say No to Plastic Essay

Say No to Plastic, short paragraph

Usage of plastic has gradually increased. We can find plastic everywhere in this world. Because plastic is cheap and easily available, it is used at a very high level worldwide.

In the world as a whole, plastic is used to pack the bought items. It is also very convenient for the customers to carry the purchased products in a bag of plastic. But using this plastic material and depositing it in the garbage bin after its use is completed is harming the whole environment of the Earth. It also decreases the soil quality in which it is getting blenched after a significant number of days.

Since plastic is non-biodegradable, it is very difficult to decompose it completely. It takes many years to decompose completely in soil. Therefore it is very important to ‘say no to plastic’. Due to plastics being made up of strong chemicals, it is resistant to the many natural degradation processes. Plastic pollution is affecting both water bodies and land.

Due to excessive use of plastic, the soil of the Earth surface is losing its fertility because plastic marine life is severely hampered. Many species of fish are getting extinct because of plastic pollution. It is also destroying the habitat of aquatic organisms. Many companies are using plastic to package their food products and other things; it is causing many diseases by consuming the food products packaged in plastic.

Thus, to avoid the harmful effects of plastic pollution, consumers should be aware of using those dangerous plastic products.

People should not accept plastics from the stores while buying any item. The social organisation should conduct many awareness programs to educate the civilians against the harmful effects of using plastics. It is very important to be aware of plastic pollution because it is highly poisonous and deadly for the globe’s environment, which may even disrupt the hormonal balance in humans. So it has become very important to ‘say no to plastic’.

Also Read: Essay on Deforestation in English

10 lines on Say no to Plastic

1. Plastic has become a necessity in our daily lives and provides us ease and convenience. It is very cheap and easily affordable.

2. Plastics are non-biodegradable, and it takes hundreds and thousands of years to decompose completely in the soil. Since it is made up of chemicals, it is very harmful to the environment of the glow.

3. Because of plastic pollution, the soil of the Earth’s surface is losing its fertility, and Marine bodies are also hampered. Many organisms are getting extinct because of plastic pollution.

4. To decrease plastic usage, plastic bags and plastic products have been banned in many countries, including India.

5. we must pick up plastic litter in our surroundings to keep our environment clean and healthy.

6. Because of plastic, marine life is severely hampered. Many species of fish are getting extinct because of plastic pollution.

7. Many wild animals and other organisms consume plastic, mistaking them as Food, and die immediately.

8. The entire world consumes almost one trillion plastic bags every year for packaging and other purposes.

9. We should use eco-friendly and natural materials and say no to plastic.

10. To avoid plastic pollution, we should not accept plastics from the stores while buying any item.

Also Read: Mission Chandrayaan 2 Essay in English

Essay on Say No to Plastic in 250 Words

The usage of plastic became a part of our lifestyle in the 20 century. People go empty-handed to the shops and markets and return with lots of plastic bags carrying their items. Plastics are mostly made up of polythene which is made out of petroleum.

As we know, petroleum is a limited natural resource, which can be exhausted if used irrationally. Many toxic chemicals are also released while manufacturing plastic materials and bags, which is very harmful to the globe’s environment.

Plastics are made up of a hard chemical structure which is very difficult to decompose easily. Since plastics are non-biodegradable, it takes hundreds and thousands of years to decompose completely in the soil. Due to plastic pollution, many water bodies and the fertility of the Earth are getting destroyed.

Due to the consumption of plastic by animals, they are dying in large numbers. It also becomes the reason for the extinction of many aquatic organisms. Many whales and marine microorganisms are dying because of plastic pollution in water bodies. Natural habitats of aquatic organisms are also getting destroyed because of plastic.

Many companies are using plastic for the packaging of their food products which is harmful to our health. It is damn easy to say no to plastic. Keep a bag made out of cotton or jute with you. Don’t take items in plastic bags. Use materials that are easily degradable and say no to plastic.

Essay on Say No to Plastic in 150 Words

Plastic has become one of the serious ecological threats to humanity. Including India, almost 74 countries have called a ban on plastic bags and plastic materials, and 34 States impose a charge per pack. The PM has called for a nationwide ban on single-use plastic products in India, especially plastic bags, cups, and plastic bottles.

We know that plastics are made up of petroleum which is not easily degradable in the environment; therefore, the government should take strict measures and a lot of plastic bag disposal systems in many cities, towns and rural areas to avoid littering. To prevent plastic bags ‘ need, people should make alternatives such as canvas bags, paper bags, cans, paper boxes, etc.

Plastic bags alone kill almost 1 lakh birds and Marine animals every year. Hundreds to thousands of Whales and turtles have died of poisoning by eating plastic particles mistaking it as a jellyfish. Plastic is also dangerous for our health, so it has become very important to say no to plastic and choose other alternatives for our daily needs.

Also Read: Essay on Aatma nirbhar Bharat in English

Essay on Say No to Plastic in 500 Words

Introduction

Plastic bags are quite popular because they are light in weight, easily affordable and easy to carry. Because of the cheap price, plastic bags are used by many shopkeepers. We don’t need to purchase these plastic bags and our purchased items as they are given freely by the shopkeepers.

A problem caused by plastic

As plastics are non-biodegradable, it takes hundreds and thousands of years to degrade completely in the soil. Here are some of the problems caused by plastic are :

Non-biodegradable

Plastic materials and plastic bags are non-biodegradable. Thus disposing of these plastics is the biggest challenge for us. They break down into small particles and enter the soil and water bodies; however, they do not decompose completely. Since it takes many years to decompose, it pollutes the ground of the Earth’s surface, decreases soil fertility, and decreases the production of vegetables and crops.

Harmful effects on the environment

Plastics are destroying nature owing to their harmful effect. Plastics have become a major cause of land pollution and water pollution today. Plastic wastes that are thrown into the landfills take almost 500 years to decompose. It is also destroying the ecosystem of oceans and seas. It is polluting the water bodies and killing the aquatic animals. Thousands of Whales and millions of fish are getting killed because of plastic pollution in the ocean.

The harmful effect of plastic on animals and Marine creatures

Many animals and Marine creatures consume plastic along with their natural Food. Plastics cannot be digested and thus get trapped in their body. Large amounts of plastic particles accumulated in the intestines of various sea creatures and animals result in serious health problems. Millions of animals and sea creatures are killed just because of plastic pollution. It has become one of the biggest problems for the entire world to avoid plastic.

Cause of illness in humans because of plastic.

The manufacturing of plastic bags releases toxic chemicals that can cause serious illness among those involved in plastic manufacturing. Because of its cheap price, plastic bags are used for the packaging of Food which can also cause health hazards.

Source: 1 , 2

We need to understand the problem caused by plastic pollution, and we have to stop the use of plastic. Our government should take some strict measures and rules to ban plastic bags and plastic materials.

Essay on Say No to Junk Food

Students are often asked to write an essay on Say No to Junk Food in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Say No to Junk Food

Understanding junk food.

Junk food refers to food that has little nutritional value. It often includes fast food, sweets, and sugary drinks.

Why Say No to Junk Food?

Junk food can lead to health problems like obesity, heart disease, and diabetes. It’s high in unhealthy fats, sugars, and salts.

Healthy Alternatives

Instead of junk food, choose fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins. These foods are packed with nutrients and keep you healthy.

Saying no to junk food can be tough, but it’s crucial for your health. Choose wisely and stay healthy!

250 Words Essay on Say No to Junk Food

Introduction.

Junk food, the term coined for food that is high in calories and low in nutritional content, has become a significant part of our daily lives. Despite its convenience and taste, it poses severe health risks, which necessitates a collective movement towards saying “No” to junk food.

The Allure of Junk Food

Junk food’s appeal lies in its immediate gratification. It is quick, cheap, and delicious. The high sugar, salt, and fat content stimulate our brain’s reward system, making it addictive. However, this immediate pleasure comes at a high cost.

The Hidden Costs of Junk Food

The regular consumption of junk food leads to obesity, heart diseases, diabetes, and other chronic health conditions. It also impacts mental health, causing depression and anxiety. Moreover, it contributes to poor academic performance as it lacks the essential nutrients needed for brain development and function.

Steps Towards a Healthier Lifestyle

Saying “No” to junk food is not about adopting a restrictive diet but about making healthier choices. It’s about replacing processed food with whole, nutritious food that nourishes our bodies and minds. It’s about understanding the long-term effects of our dietary choices and making a conscious effort to choose health over convenience.

In conclusion, saying “No” to junk food is a commitment to our health and well-being. It’s about prioritizing our long-term health over short-term gratification. It’s a journey of discovering the joy of eating right and living a healthy, fulfilling life. As educated individuals, it’s our responsibility to make informed decisions about our diet and inspire others to do the same.

500 Words Essay on Say No to Junk Food

The ubiquity of junk food, the detrimental effects of junk food.

Junk food, characterized by high levels of sugar, salt, and unhealthy fats, contributes to numerous health problems. Regular consumption can lead to obesity, heart disease, diabetes, and other serious conditions. These non-communicable diseases are currently responsible for a significant proportion of premature deaths worldwide, with junk food being a major contributing factor.

The appeal of junk food is not solely based on its taste. It’s a product of our environment and lifestyle. The convenience of fast-food restaurants, the aggressive marketing of unhealthy food products, and the stress of modern life all contribute to the ubiquity of junk food. Our brains are hardwired to seek out high-calorie foods as a survival instinct, a trait that is exploited by the junk food industry.

The Role of Education and Awareness

Practical steps to say no to junk food.

One effective strategy is to replace junk food with healthier alternatives. Instead of reaching for a bag of chips, consider snacking on nuts or fruits. Cooking meals at home allows for control over the ingredients and portion sizes. It’s also crucial to be mindful of emotional eating, as stress and boredom can often lead to unhealthy food choices.

Policy Interventions and Regulations

On a broader scale, policy interventions can play a significant role in reducing junk food consumption. Implementing taxes on unhealthy food, restricting advertising of junk food, especially to children, and mandating clear nutritional labelling are some measures that have proven effective in various countries.

That’s it! I hope the essay helped you.

Apart from these, you can look at all the essays by clicking here .

Happy studying!

essay on say no to

IMAGES

VIDEO

COMMENTS

The Mind-Boggling Simplicity of Learning to Say ‘No’

Learning How and When to Say No

When to Say No

How to Say No

When You Have to Say Yes

Reality of Saying Yes

Why Saying No is Important

How to Say No

1. Be direct

2. Be sincere

3. Focus on the request, not the person

4. Be positive

5. Give an alternative

6. Don’t make yourself responsible for others’ feelings

7. Be ready to let go

Five Research-Based Ways to Say No

1: You’re asked to work late, but you had been planning to take some time for yourself, like by getting outside for a walk with your dog.

2: A committee, team, or group asks you to take on more work because they are all “too busy.”

3: You’ve been invited to a party and are really tempted to go, but you’re tired and suspect that you’re getting sick.

4: Your plate is already too full.

5: Someone asks you to do them a little unethical favor, like cover for them while they skip work.

About the Author

Christine Carter

You May Also Enjoy

Busy People Are Happy People

Feel Like You’re Too Busy to Breathe? Here’s Some Help

21 Ways to “Give Good No”

22 Reasons Why It’s Important to Say No

1. Protecting and Supporting Your Relationship With Yourself

2. Maintaining Close Relationships With Others

3. Accomplishing Your Aspirations and Goals

4. Letting People Know What You Really Need

5. Helping People Trust You

6. Regaining Control Over Your Life

7. Allowing People To Get To Know You

8. Getting Fewer Irrelevant Requests

9. Being More Appreciated

10. Being Able To Do Your Best Work

11. Enjoying What You’re Doing

12. Saying No for Self Care

13. Having More Time

14. Creating Healthy Boundaries

15. Saying No To Yourself

16. Protecting Your Freedom

17. Saying No To Protect Others

18. Saying No to Protect the Environment

19. Creativity

20. Being Treated With Respect

21. Giving Corrective Emotional Experiences

22. Supporting Other People’s Emotional Growth and Resilience

About The Author

Leave a Comment Cancel Reply

Privacy Overview

(646) 449-0491

Prioritize your feelings and needs

You can’t take care of others if you’re not taking care of yourself

Saying no is a sign of respect

Saying no to one thing means saying yes to another

It’s good practice

Recent Posts

Leave a comment Cancel reply

Understanding Postpartum Depression

Learn to say no: How to turn things down (without feeling guilty)

Why you should learn to say no

1. You need space to rest and unwind

2. Setting boundaries is healthy

3. You have more time for things you want to say “yes” to

Why is it difficult to say no?

How can you improve saying no to people?

What is the most polite way to say no?

1. Show your gratitude

2. Be clear and upfront

3. Offer an alternative option

Feeling unmotivated?

Free up your time and learn to say no

Bring out the best in everyone.

Related Blogs

How not to hustle: A guide for savvy entrepreneurs

Finding your work-life balance as a remote employee

The pros and cons of working remotely: How to thrive at home