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• Who Gives a Speech at a Wedding Reception? How to Write a Wedding Toast Tips for the Father of the Bride Speech How to Write a Best Man Toast Advice for the Maid of Honor Speech What to Know About a Newlywed Toast Public Speaking Experts' Wedding Speech Tips 60 Quotes to Use for Your Wedding Toast

13 Tips for Giving an Amazing Wedding Speech, According to Public Speaking Experts

Plus, examples and templates to help you nail your own toast.

Photo by  Jen Huang

In This Article

If you feel as though public speaking isn't easy, you're not alone. Many people find it to be a particularly anxiety-inducing experience. This is especially true when you're feeling the added pressure that comes along with giving a speech at a loved one's wedding. Not only do you have the attention of dozens (if not hundreds!) of guests, but you're also trying to appeal to a group of people in a wide range of ages from all different phases of the couple's lives. Plus, you want your speech to delight the couple of the hour and be as appealing to your group of friends as it is to the newlyweds' grandparents . All to say: It's a tough task.

Before you panic, know that we're here to help. Ahead, we're sharing a comprehensive guide on the best tips to keep in mind before giving your speech , as well as some examples and templates to help get your creative juices flowing—all from noteworthy speakers, well-established speechwriters, and wedding planners.

Wedding Speech Template

Every great wedding speech has one thing in common: the right flow. Factor in these guidelines to help you find your own organic rhythm.

Congratulate the Couple

Express how happy you are that the two of them are getting married and what it means to you to witness it.

Open With a Statement or Question

Don't lead with a joke or a reference to how nervous you are. "The goal is to engage your audience, not make it a boring one-way message," says award-winning motivational speaker Jaime Pfeffer . "You'll lose them if you do this."

Introduce Yourself

After your opener, introduce yourself, says Fallon Carter, the founder and creative director of Fallon Carter Events . "A lot of times, people don't know who is speaking, and they don't know their relationship to the bride or the groom," she says. "It's really important to identify yourself, so make sure you've prepared something."

Tell a Story

When you’re writing your speech, think about stories that could be grouped together. "Choose anecdotes that all fit a theme and support your argument," says Kristine Keller, a writer and the co-founder of Speech Tank . The theme will help tie it together, making your toast feel intentional instead of random.

Address Both Partners

You may not know them both well, but you shouldn’t focus all of your attention on your friend and ignore their new spouse. "Even if you’ve only met your friend’s partner once or twice before, find a way to include him or her in your toast," says Marisa Polansky, a book editor, author, and co-founder of Speech Tank. "Tell the story of their engagement or share something your friend told you about them that proves what a great partner he or she is."

Go for the Crowd-Pleasers

"Anything that’s an inside joke may have been funny at the time, but no one else will understand what you’re talking about," Keller says. "Run your stories and jokes by a neutral audience to see if they are as funny as you think." And remember, a little humor is fine , but this is a toast—not a roast.

Focus on a Few Points

Susan Bender Phelps, the CEO of Odyssey Mentoring & Leadership , says to keep it concise. Select one to three aspects of the newlyweds that you love and appreciate, along with no more than three short stories to illustrate each of these points (or that one point). "The simple, succinct story or stories where the bride and groom are the hero will work best," she says. This is an excellent way to structure your speech and keep your message focused.

Raise Your Glass for a Toast

To wrap up your speech, invite everyone to raise their glass to the couple, or to love, etc., then cheers glasses together and take a sip.

Photo by  Adovasio Photography Studio

13 Expert-Approved Wedding Speech Tips

Now that you've established the right framework for your words, take note of these essential tips from the experts to truly ace your speech.

Just Get Started

Figuring out where to start when drafting your toast can be tough. "When we work with our clients, we always start with a stream of consciousness," Keller says. "We ask them to just start telling us stories. You might not think every anecdote is important, but all of a sudden you’ll land on a real gem."

Start Writing Things Down

When you’re doing this at home on your own, Polansky says to just start writing stuff down. "Put it all down on paper," she recommends. "Don’t worry about editing as you’re writing, just get it out and then go back and pick and choose details when you’re done." This will help you identify a theme, which is what you’ll need to make your toast really memorable.

Use Examples

"If you’re trying to make a point about the bride or groom's personality—say, that she or he's particularly loyal—don’t just say that and move on," Polansky says. "Pick a specific moment that proves your point. Have something to back it up!" Including some proof will make sure your listeners really buy what you’re saying about the couple.

Make It Quick

"The best length for a toast is about three minutes," Polansky says. "It’s enough time to say what you need to say, but short enough that you’ll still have everyone’s attention when you ask them to raise their glasses to toast the happy couple."

Rehearse Regularly

The better prepared you are, the more confident you'll be and the better your speech will be, says Barry Maher , an author and professional speaker. A good rule of thumb is to practice the speech enough that you can remember the points you want to make and the order in which you want to make them. That way, you can look out to the crowd and make eye contact every so often.

Think you know what three minutes feels like? You may want to reconsider. "Practice reading your speech out loud (not in your head!) and time yourself," Polansky says. "Don’t wing it, especially if you’re nervous. Give yourself time to prepare. Practice with an audience to check your timing, and give yourself time to make edits."

Record Yourself Practicing

Use your phone to take a video of yourself practicing, suggests Kate Kenfield , a speaker, writer, and sex educator. "It can be a little uncomfortable to watch yourself, but you'll be able to identify distracting mannerisms, such as the verbal pauses 'um,' 'uh,' and 'like,'" she says. "It's also a good idea to practice your speech in front of someone else. "A second opinion can help you craft your piece and make it that much stronger," she adds.

Don't forget about your body language. Rehearse the speech in front of a mirror and notice things like your facial expression, eye contact, and hand position.

Avoid Alcohol

Although it may be tempting to look for some liquid courage, alcohol definitely won't do you any favors, says Amy Morin , a keynote speaker and the author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do . "It may cause you to slur your speech and forget your lines, so wait until after your toast to celebrate," she advises. If you need a drink to loosen up the nerves or can't refrain from participating in a toast without being rude, stick to one glass of Champagne before you address the crowd.

Use Nerves to Your Advantage

A little nervousness can actually liven up your speech. "I get worried if I'm not a little nervous," Maher says. "I'll actually try to make myself a little tense to get my energy level up." The key is to harness that energy and communicate it in a positive, genuine way; tensing up to the point that you forget your words or panic won't make for a great presentation.

Be Yourself

Keep in mind that you're not putting on a show, only sharing your personal perspective. Trying too hard to force the funny can yield the opposite of the desired effect, cautions Matt Dalley, the co-founder of Simply Eloped . "I've noticed that keeping it short and sweet, heartfelt and warm, and coming across as authentic and focused on the couple is something we are all capable of and generates some very wonderful moments," he says.

Address Your Audience

Focusing on yourself only enhances nerves, says Mark Black , a speaker and life strategy coach. "Instead, concentrate on your audience and how you want them to feel," he recommends. "This will help you to speak from the heart, allowing your speech to do what it's supposed to do: Make the couple feel special while also engaging the audience."

Never Embarrass the Newlyweds

It's a wedding toast, not a roast. While this should go without saying, keep the bachelor or bachelorette party jokes out of it, and remember that grandma and possibly a few colleagues are in the audience, says Laurie Battaglia , a keynote speaker and workplace strategist. "It's okay to look back at childhood and refer to something funny, but ask yourself if you'd like 200-plus of your closest friends knowing that story about you."

Don't Overstuff Your Speech

"If you’re a fast talker, try to slow yourself down so that everyone will understand you," Polansky says. (Better to cut a few lines than to try to fit a 10-minute toast into a three-minute time frame.)

Don’t count on your phone, which may lock or turn off mid-speech. Instead, print out your toast or put it on note cards for reference. "It’s your moment to have the floor, so don’t risk forgetting your point," Keller says.

Use Your Notes

Try to avoid reading your speech straight from a piece of paper. However, having a couple of notes handy is encouraged. "You're likely to be nervous, excited, and exhausted, which can make you forget your lines," Morin says. "The audience won't care if you glance at your notes. In fact, there's a good chance they won't even notice."

Photo by  Brandon Kidd Photography

Wedding Speech Brainstorm Ideas

Need some inspiration? Ask yourself these questions to get the brainstorming process going.

• Who will speak before you? After you? How will this affect the content of your toast?
• Is there someone you should thank for making the event possible and inviting you to speak?
• What would you want to hear in this speech if you were in the audience?
• What is your first memory of the bride/groom?
• What is your favorite memory of the bride/groom?
• What did he/she say when he/she first told you about his/her partner?
• How did you know they were meant to be ?
• What has the bride/groom or the couple as a whole taught you?
• What qualities do you admire in them?
• When are times that they displayed these qualities?

Wedding Speech Examples to Make Your Own

Wondering what it looks like when all of these elements come together? Wedding vow and speechwriter Katelyn Peterson, owner and creator of Wedding Words , offered us three examples of successful toasts to inspire your own.

Maid of Honor Wedding Speech Example

"Hi, I’m Maya, the bride’s older sister. With Lucy being three years younger, we fell right into our respective roles as sister-rivals growing up. We constantly fought over stolen clothes, monopolizing the phone back when landlines were a thing, and what boy band to blare from the car speakers. I’m still Team Backstreet Boys while Lucy is forever indebted to NSYNC.

Looking back on those memories, I should have stepped up and granted Lucy permission to wear my favorite sweater for picture day, to hand her the phone once in a while, and to let her play, 'Bye Bye Bye.' Even I can admit that’s a good one. But despite Lucy being the younger sister, she has always been more patient, more accommodating, and more thoughtful than me. And that’s because when it comes to the people she loves, she’s all in.

She’s the one to prioritize their desires. She’s the one to compromise first. And, she’s the one to support their dreams as if they were her own. 

This is why it makes me so happy to know that Lucy has found a home in David. He matches her in compassion, thoughtfulness, and warmth. And I know he’ll spend his life prioritizing her desires, being ready to compromise, and supporting her dreams as his own.

Cheers to Lucy and David! May you always feel loved because you always put each other first."

Best Man Wedding Speech Example

"Hello, everyone. My name is Luke, and I’m the best man . I met Robert eight years ago when I became his neighbor. His reputation preceded him as I had heard about the 'Block Party King' before my closing papers were inked. 

Rob has never been the guy to wear fancy clothes. In fact, I’m still in shock seeing him in that tux tonight. And he’s never been the guy to show off, even though the work he’s put into his vintage Mustang could make Henry Ford himself envious.

But when it comes to cooking, he should receive an award. His pulled pork is a staple at our summer block parties and his homemade barbeque sauce has remained our neighborhood’s best-kept secret. But the most satisfying part about his delicious dishes is that there’s always plenty to go around. And Rob makes sure your plate is never empty. I have no idea how he pulls it off, but Rob has a covert ability to scoop seconds onto your plate without you ever seeing him do it. I hope you all came hungry tonight, folks. You’ve been warned! 

The first time I met Jasmine I could immediately tell she was an amazing person. She laughed at his jokes, which I never thought anyone would get. She supported his career and the nonstop travel involved. But most importantly, whenever we’re all hanging out, Jasmine is the one always topping off Rob’s plate with more pasta, more chicken, more of everything. When she’s around, it’s never empty. 

And that’s when I saw what a perfect match they were for each other. I know they will always put each other first, make sure their needs are met, and will never allow the other to go hungry.

So let’s raise our glasses to toast the newlyweds! As you begin this next chapter together, may your plates and your hearts always remain full."

Father-of-the-Bride Wedding Speech Example

"Good evening, family, and friends. I’m Daniel Lee, the father of the bride. I’d like to welcome you to this special occasion where we get to celebrate the love between my daughter Allison and her new wife, Kristin. 

Standing up here today, I’m reminded of all the moments that led to this significant one. The dance recitals that ended with standing ovations and the soccer games that concluded with winning scoreboards. 

But, while those were fun and rewarding times, those aren’t the moments I cherish most with Allison. The memories that make me smile the brightest are those in-between the big stuff moments. It’s the makeshift magic shows in our living room using a bedsheet that Allison confiscated from our linen closet to convert into a curtain. It’s the countless tea parties she hosted with exclusive invitations just for me and her beloved stuffed bear, Buttons. And it’s the way she’d beg to stay up for just five more minutes but was asleep on the couch by minute number two.

Those everyday, blink-and-you’ll-miss-them moments with Allison are the ones that gave color to my life and filled my heart with a happiness I never knew could exist.

So, my beautiful daughter, as you begin your life with Kristin today, I have one wish for you: May your warmest memories come from the ordinary moments throughout your marriage, and may those moments give you a reason to smile brighter every day. Cheers! I love you both."

A Guide to Wedding Reception Toasts

• Who Gives a Speech at a Wedding Reception?
• How to Write a Wedding Toast
• Tips for the Father of the Bride Speech
• How to Write a Best Man Toast
• Advice for the Maid of Honor Speech
• What to Know About a Newlywed Toast
• currently on Public Speaking Experts' Wedding Speech Tips
• 60 Quotes to Use for Your Wedding Toast

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In This Article

What is the Traditional Wedding Speech Order?

Common speech tips for modern wedding, wedding speech order planning tips.

• Wedding Party & Reception

Who Speaks, When? Traditional Order of Speeches at Wedding

VAKSMANVOLODYMYR via Shutterstock

The order of speeches at wedding events is more important than you may think. The reason that specific people make toasts and speeches at specific times creates a narrative. It tells the story of the couple’s journey and reveals a deeper level of connection for the audience.

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Today’s weddings are very flexible. You shouldn’t feel like you have to adhere to this list. However, if your desire is to follow tradition or simply learn more about wedding traditions, this guide to wedding speech orders will give you what you need.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Who gives speeches at weddings and in what order.

At a traditional wedding reception, the bride and groom speak first. This is followed by speeches from the father of the bride, the father of the groom, the maid of honor, and then the best man.

Do wedding speeches come before or after food?

Speeches should be delivered approximately 3/4 of the way through the reception meal. This allows guests to find their seats and get comfortable.

How long is a wedding speech supposed to be?

Each wedding speech at a traditional wedding should be 3 to 5 minutes long. Any shorter and you won’t get to say what you want. Any longer and you will lose the audience.

How Many Speeches Do You Have at a Wedding?

Traditional weddings, if nobody opts out, have six standard speakers. Sometimes a Master of Ceremonies will be the seventh orator. Recently the mothers of the bride and groom deliver separate speeches to be the eighth and ninth speakers.

Traditionally, the order of speeches at wedding receptions pays respect to the people who have greatly influenced the bride and groom’s lives. Arguably, these friends and family members are partially responsible for making the wedding happen.

The bride and groom will speak first to thank their guests for participating in their union. The father, and sometimes mother, will speak as they traditionally pay for the wedding. The groom’s father and mother will then welcome the bride to the family. Lastly, the maid of honor and the groom will talk about friendship and how the bride and groom have grown.

The Father of the Bride or Parents of the Bride

ethanbeazleyphoto via Instagram

If asked, any father will tell you that it’s impossible to give a wedding speech without mentioning what his little girl was like growing up and how difficult it is to let her go. Some dads will over-indulge in this sentiment. Some dads are way too shy and will avoid talking about this. Follow these rules to help you find a balance between these two poles.

The father of the bride should:

• The order of speeches at weddings begins with the father of the bride thanking everyone for attending and helping. Identify and thank guests who have traveled a long way and acknowledge people who played prominent roles in the bride’s life. Although they aren’t speaking, they all contribute to the success of the wedding.
• The father of the bride should tell stories about how his little girl has grown into the woman she has become. Consider stories about how she developed through school, what she wanted to be when she grows up, and anecdotes that demonstrate her character.
• Finally, speak directly to the bride and her parents. Welcome them by recounting the story of when you all met each other. This is a good time for a few jokes, but make sure those jokes are wrapped in warmth and acceptance.

The father of the bride should not:

• Don’t just say “Thank You’ to a list of people. Acknowledging prominent friends, family, and wedding party members is appropriate. However, simply naming them does not make them feel welcome or significant.
• You believe that your daughter is perfect, but keep the praise to a minimum. The role of the father of the bride in the order of wedding speeches is to create a sense of unity among all of the guests. Gushing over your daughter will deviate from this.
• Don’t speak for too long. As the first speaker, you will set the tone for others. Respect your time allotment so that others do the same. Beyond that, a short punchy speech is much more engaging than a long drone.

The Father of the Groom or Parents of the Groom

Next up in the order of wedding speeches is the father of the groom. His responsibility is to welcome the bride and her parents to the family. There’s a little more room for jokes with this speech, but everything should be respectful. He should commend his son for the man he has become and wish the couple a long, happy life together.

The father of the groom should:

• Start by thanking the bride’s family. Traditionally, they pay for the wedding. Even if that’s not the case, they have certainly raised a wonderful daughter.
• Tell the story of how your son grew up in a way that explains how he arrived in the arms of his bride. Include a few jokes if that’s your personality, but keep it light and good-hearted.
• Acknowledge how the bride makes your son a better man. You are proud of him and she is largely responsible for his passions and enthusiasm. Let her know how much you appreciate her and how she adds a new layer to the family.

The father of the groom should not:

• Don’t talk about exes. You may mean well when you say “Sarah is so much better than Melissa” but it never comes out well. It will take the entire crowd out of a happy moment.
• Don’t let jokes turn into insults. You know the people you are poking fun at very well. You know if they will appreciate the humor or not. If you don’t know them that well, air on the side of caution.
• Don’t give negative advice. There’s a big difference between “I wish you health, wealth, and happiness!” and “I hope you don’t turn out like your mother and me.” Although the intention is to wish the couple a life full of love, the delivery changes the entire context. Learn the line well and stay within it.

Groom Wedding Speech Order

After both sets of parents have a chance to speak, the traditional order of speeches at weddings has the groom speaking next. The speech usually includes Thank Yous to the guests, venue, and vendors. This is usually the time that the groom distributes gifts to his wedding party.

The groom should:

• Thank both sets of parents for their kind words. Try your best to bring up points they made to make it clear that you were listening and gained some insight. This will both make them feel good and create a connection between all of the speeches.
• Tell the story of how you met the bride. Include stories that paint the picture of your journey and when you realized that she is “the one”.
• Talk about the future and how much you love your new life. The wedding isn’t the destination, it’s the starting line of this new phase of life and you are excited.

The groom should not:

• Don’t fall into the “ball and chain” trope. Feel free to make jokes, but talking about how you’ve just lost your freedom is a little cliché.
• Don’t distribute gifts while you are speaking. Unless you’ve mastered the art of multi-tasking, your speech will suffer. Safe the gifts for a natural break in your speech or assign someone to distribute the gifts while you speak.
• Don’t overdo the Thank Yous. It’s important to pay respect to vendors and guests, but they have already been thanked and your main objective is to portray how happy you are with your new wife. Don’t take away from this.

Bride Wedding Speech

jeromecole via Instagram

The general order of speeches at a wedding has the bride speaking after the parents and groom. The bride’s speech will be similar to the groom’s but, of course, with her own experiences. It will consist of Thank Yous, gifts for her bridal party, and a message of love to her groom.

The bride should:

• Pay special attention to the bridesmaids. They’ve played a major role in your relationship as well as the success of your wedding. It’s appropriate to show proper recognition.
• Tell your version of how you met your groom and the journey you have taken together. It’s customary to pick on the groom a little bit but, just like everyone else, do your best not to fall into insulting tropes.
• Thank your parents, even if they have been thanked by others. Your relationship is much deeper with your own parents and they deserve your unique perspective.

The bride should not:

• Aside from your parents, don’t repeat Thank Yous. There are plenty of people to thank. Repeating the same people becomes redundant and diminishes the impact of the praise.
• Don’t make it entirely about yourself. Everything about this wedding is mostly about you. Take the opportunity to make it about others for a moment.
• Don’t take more time than the other speeches. Although you are the center of attention, taking longer to speak will throw off the momentum and timing of reception activities.

Maid of Honor/ Bridesmaids Speeches

The order of wedding speeches typically has the Maid of Honor speaking towards the end of the list. She will thank those who have not been thanked yet and spend most of her time gushing about the bride and her first impressions of the groom.

The bridesmaids should:

• Thank the groomsmen and ushers. They are often overlooked, but these people are the oil that keeps all of the gears in good working order.
• Say something about how the groom is such a perfect match for the bride. You can talk about his personality traits, your first impressions when meeting him, or an anecdote about getting to know him.
• Spend most of your time talking about the bride. You know her like no one else and the guests will adore hearing stories that expose her personality and relationship journey with the groom.

The bridesmaids should not:

• Do not tell stories that would embarrass the bride in front of parents or the groom. Some things are better left between you and the bride.
• Don’t forget to offer some good wishes and words of advice. You have a unique perspective on the couple’s relationship and your views are insightful.
• Don’t read your speech from your phone. Take some time to practice the speech so that it comes out naturally.

Best Man Speech

The best man usually comes last in the order of speeches at a wedding. However, the best man and maid of honor often switch. When the best man speaks last, he needs to understand that this is the segway to music and dancing. He’ll have to leave the guests in a fresh, energized mood.

The best man should:

• Keep it short and sweet. Punchy jokes and short stories will keep things concise and energetic, which is exactly what the crowd needs.
• Invite guests to get up and dance once the stage is set up. Often enough, guests are uncomfortable being the first ones on the dance floor. Encourage them to ditch their discomfort.
• Temper your jokes. The pressure to be funny has the ability to push people over the edge of appropriateness. Be aware of the elderly and children in attendance.

The best man should not:

• Don’t think that you have to be funny. Just because Hollywood and stereotypes tell us that the best man is expected to become a stand-up comedian doesn’t make it a rule. Be true to yourself.
• If you are naturally funny, don’t use inside jokes. The groom may appreciate it, but you are there for the entire guest list.
• Don’t fixate on your time in college or the bachelor party. Guests are interested in hearing about a journey that demonstrates the groom’s character arc, not a single moment in time.

Modern weddings are a little more free-range when it comes to speeches. The traditional structure has appointed individuals that are expected to rehearse their speech to accommodate a specific amount of time. Modern weddings will expand the list of appointed speakers to include brothers and sisters and prominent family members. In many cases, guests will be invited to step up to say a few words.

Non-traditional speakers should:

• Introduce yourself and explain your relationship to the bride or groom. This contextualizes what you will say.
• Express your joy and give advice. If you are younger than the couple, explain how they are an inspiration. If you are older, share your life lessons.
• Keep it short. If it’s an open mic situation, there are plenty of people who want their turn.

Non-traditional speakers should not:

• Try not to wing it. Although you didn’t prepare a formal speech, do your best to collect your thoughts and deliver them in a logical order.
• Don’t feel like you should speak if you have nothing to say. An open mic can be tempting but should be avoided if your piece won’t add to the story.
• Don’t neglect the guests. It’s a speech to the room, not a private conversation between you and the happy couple.

• The traditional order of speeches at weddings is pretty much written in stone. The few variables are if both parents speak or just the father, and which order the maid of honor and best man take. Not too long ago, men spoke on behalf of the family, but this is rarely true today. If you need to cut someone from the lineup due to timing issues, the mothers of the bride and groom are usually the first to go.
• When it comes to the maid of honor and best man, the best man is expected to be funny which is a great vibe to lead into the dance portion of the event.
• Regardless of where you fall in the order of speeches at weddings, there are a few guidelines that, if followed, will help you deliver a better speech.
• Start with a rough draft. Write down the basic structure of your speech and then insert some prominent memories that support what you have to say. Practice out loud. This will ensure that you are using the right words and speaking at a proper tempo.
• Don’t drink. A champagne toast is in order, but don’t lose your motor skills and ability to speak clearly.
• Be aware of who is speaking before and after you in the order of speeches at weddings. You will have to pick up where they left off and provide a segway for the next speaker.

The traditional order of speeches at weddings is successful because it’s familiar and provides a strong narrative. Each speaker has a role to play and progressively tells the story of the happy couple’s journey. Take pride in your role and what you have to say. Whether you realize it or not, you are a significant piece to the bride and groom’s overall experience.

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The secret to a perfect wedding officiant speech (with examples)

Published Wednesday, Oct. 5th, 2022

Written by Jessica Levey

Find the perfect wording for your wedding officiant speech or wedding ceremony script by thinking of a wedding ceremony as a theater play, with you and your couple performing unique roles. Use this simple advice for first-time officiants to write an original wedding script, using examples of the invocation, vows and rings exchange, pronouncement, and more, from some of AMM's most popular ceremony scripts and outlines.

Write a memorable wedding officiant speech or wedding ceremony script with this simple advice from the pros. 

A sked to officiate a close friend or relative’s wedding ceremony, but have no idea what to say (or do) during your speech? 

First off, congratulations on being asked to officiate! It’s a huge honor to be chosen to conduct a wedding or vow renewal ceremony. As you’ve probably guessed, couples generally ask someone special to officiate, someone who’s been an important part of their journey toward marriage. 

So before you get too stressed out about what you’re going to say on the big day, take a moment to appreciate being asked. And remember: They chose you because they know you’ll do a wonderful job. 

• Don’t forget to order your AMM Minister Credentials and supplies to prepare. 

Now, about that officiant speech… 

It might come as a surprise to learn that a wedding officiant does not need to deliver a wedding ‘speech’ at all, at least not in the traditional sense. Take a look at the typical outline of a wedding ceremony included below, and you’ll see what we mean.

Instead of delivering a single speech, the wedding officiant speaks at several important moments throughout the wedding ceremony. You’ll also instruct the couple on when to exchange wedding vows and rings, and guide them from each part of the ceremony to the next. 

Related: The Parts of a Wedding Ceremony

The secret? 

It helps to think of a wedding ceremony as a theater play.  .

It helps to think of a wedding ceremony as a theater play, instead of as delivering a speech. Although you will need to do some talking, you can keep things conversational and collaborative. 

Like a play, each person on stage has a unique role, and everyone will take turns delivering their lines from a script. (Professionals call this a wedding ceremony script. ) Most importantly, the officiant will act as the stage director of a ceremony, rather than just another actor. 

The officiant’s longest speaking part is usually the ‘invocation.’ This is when you’ll welcome guests, talk about the meaning of the day, and share a few details about the couple’s love story. This is often the part of the wedding ceremony people are thinking about when they refer to an ‘officiant’s speech.’

The ceremony outline below includes examples from several sample wedding ceremony scripts.

This outline can help you better understand what to say on the big day, and the officiant’s important role as a ‘director’ in guiding the wedding ceremony. 

It's helpful to think of the wedding ceremony as a theater play,

with the officiant serving as an on-stage director. 

Photo: Unsplash / Natasha Dale

Outline of a Wedding Ceremony  with sample officiant scripts

Part One: The wedding ceremony begins. The wedding officiant welcomes guests, introduces the couple, and talks about the meaning of the day and the couple’s relationship. This part of the ceremony is probably the most similar to a traditional speech or toast.

Officiant to Guests: 

"Dear friends and family, we are gathered here today to witness and celebrate the union of [PARTNER A] and [PARTNER B]. In the years that they have been together, their love for each other has grown, turning them into the couple you see before you. Now, they are ready to spend the rest of their lives together as husband and wife."

Officiant to the Couple: 

"A true marriage begins well before the wedding day, and the efforts of marriage continue well beyond the ceremony. A brief moment in time and the stroke of the pen are all that is required to create the legal bond of marriage, but it takes a lifetime of love, commitment, and compromise to make marriage durable and everlasting."

Today you declare your commitment to each other before family and friends."

( Taken from the full sample wedding script: Short Non Religious Wedding Ceremony With Heartfelt Invocation ) 

Declaration of Intent

Part Two: The couple publicly declares their intent to marry, guided by the officiant. 

Officiant to the Couple:

"With this wisdom – and your love - in mind, I now ask you:"

Officiant to Partner A:

"(Partner A), do you welcome (Partner B) to be your (wife/ husband/ spouse), and your cherished best friend?"

( Partner A responds ‘I do.’ )

Officiant to Partner B:

"(Partner B), do you welcome (Partner A) to be your (husband/ wife/ spouse), and your cherished best friend?"

( Partner B responds ‘I do.’ )

( Taken from the full sample wedding script: Lighthearted Wedding Ceremony Script with Funny Reading on Marriage )

Wedding Vows Exchange

Part Three : The couple exchange their wedding vows, either by repeating after the officiant or by reading personal vows written before the ceremony.

"Your wedding vows are an outward sign of your love and commitment. While there is a legal aspect of this wedding, a signed document does not create a marriage. What creates a marriage is the promises made and kept in your hearts.

As you look lovingly at each other, you’ll speak the promises that you’re pledging for a lifetime."

"(Partner A), please repeat after me:   Today, I give you my heart to hold and my life to keep I take you as my partner in life and with this promise: I will support you and encourage you, during the good times, and the trying times. I will laugh with you, and cry with you,  And love you faithfully, for all the days and sea sons ahead of us both."

(This section is repeated for Partner B )

( From the full sample wedding script: Fall Wedding Ceremony Script with Reading From "Harvest Moon" ) 

Wedding Ring Exchange

Part Four: The couple exchanges their wedding rings, sometimes this is combined with the vows. 

"The wedding ring serves as a reminder of the promises you make today to each other. 

The circle is a symbol of an eternal bond -- there is no beginning and no end. That means you two are stuck with each other!"

"(Partner A), place this ring on (Partner B)’s finger and repeat after me."

"I give you this ring as a symbol of my commitment and devotion. I choose you to share in my life’s journeys.  I give you this ring as a pledge to love you,  today, tomorrow, always, and forever. With no take-backs.

( Partner A repeats each of these lines in turn)

( From the full sample wedding script: Funny Wedding Ceremony Script with Simple Unity Ritual )

Pronouncement of Marriage

Part Five: The wedding officiant says a few closing words on the importance of marriage and love, offers any final blessings, and pronounces the couple officially married.  

"Now that you have joined yourselves in matrimony, may you strive all your lives to meet this commitment with the same love and devotion that you now possess.

By virtue of the authority vested in me by the State of (Name of State) and American Marriage Ministries, I now pronounce you husband and wife (or "spouses for life," or whatever descriptors the couple prefers)"

( From the full sample wedding script: Quick & Simple Civil Wedding Ceremony Script )

The couple should be the focus of the wedding day, not the officiant. 

Photo by Leonardo Miranda

Bringing it all together

As you can see, there’s no need for you to stress out about writing a complicated speech! 

The purpose of the wedding ceremony is to keep the focus on the couple, not the wedding officiant. You will need to do some talking, but you can keep things collaborative and conversational. You do not need to deliver a monologue, or a speech in the traditional sense.

Your role as the officiant of the wedding is to lovingly guide and direct the couple through each part of the wedding ceremony, while sharing details of their love story with their guests. 

Congratulations on being asked to officiate, and don’t forget to have fun! 

Get ordained online for free with american marriage ministries and start officiating weddings right away.  |* ordination-button *|, become a wedding officiant with amm and officiate a wedding .

American Marriage Ministries is a nondenominational inclusive internet church that ordains and trains ministers to officiate marriage ceremonies. We are a recognized 501(c)(3) nonprofit church, and welcome people of all backgrounds and beliefs.

Officiating weddings is an incredible honor, and a great way to show your love and support for the people getting married. As a wedding officiant, you will help to create memorable ceremonies and memories that last a lifetime.

Our ordinations are free, accessible, and never expire. Just  click here to start the online ordination application,  it only takes a minute to complete.

AMM Ministers are authorized to officiate weddings in every state* (it's much harder in  Virginia , where we're looking into our options). After getting ordained with AMM, you might need to register your ordination with your local county clerk’s office. Click the links below to get started! 

• Become an AMM Minister today!
• Weddings by State: Officiant Registration Requirements

Asked to give a wedding speech or toast? 

Here are some examples of what NOT to do! 

Avoiding a Terrible Wedding Toast -- What *Not* To Do  

Asked to Officiate

Your step-by-step guide to the perfect wedding ceremony

Asked to Officiate is the most comprehensive and easy-to-use guide ever written for wedding officiants, designed to help new and first-time officiants to write and conduct an original wedding ceremony. 

ORDER NOW 

This 'how to' guide contains detailed advice on how to write personalized wedding vows, a heartwarming invocation, and everything that goes into officiating a successful ceremony. Written by wedding professionals, this book is like having an experienced wedding officiant looking over your shoulder every step of the way!

You might also like: 

• Are there legal wording requirements in a wedding ceremony?  
• Write a Wedding Ceremony Using a Classic Story Arc
• Everything You Need to Know About California’s Confidential Marriage Licenses  
• Can you get married without a marriage license? What if you lost it? Or forgot it?

What should you do if you lose your marriage license, forget to bring it to the wedding ceremony, forget to mail it after it's signed, or never even apply for one? Read the full article here. 

Lead Staff Writer & Illustrator

Jessica loves exploring the history and magic of ritual, the connections between people and places, and sharing true stories about love and commitment. She's an advocate for marriage equality, LGBTQ+ rights, and individuality, and is an ordained Minister with AMM. When she’s not writing or illustrating for AMM, she enjoys city hikes, fantasy novels, comics, and traveling.

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