personal statement for exchange program

Student Exchange Program Essay: Examples, Topics, & Tips

It is not a secret that for every open slot at a prestigious college, there are from 10 to 15 eager applicants. They often seem equally qualified academically.

However, it is often the college application essay that sets one lucky applicant apart from the others. While writing is very personal, and styles can vary, the college application mistakes that students tend to make are common. So if you want to find out 10 college application mistakes to avoid, just read this article by Custom Writing experts!

Want to succeed? Just keep reading this article by Custom Writing experts!

• ✅ What to Include
• 👣 Writing Steps
• 💡 Essay Topics
• 👀 Essay Sample

🔗 References

✅ student exchange program essay: what to include.

The following information should be included in a good student exchange essay.

To make your essay really strong, try our hints for writing motivation essays and a personal essay .

👣 Student Exchange Program Essay: Writing Steps

Outshine the other applicants by writing an excellent student exchange essay that demonstrates your ability to think intelligently and express yourself in writing! The process of writing an impressive exchange application essay is not as complicated as you might think.

Here are the writing steps that will help you write a thoughtful, convincing, and concise exchange application essay.

💡 Student Exchange Program (FLEX) Essay Topics

• Many students have experiences, identity, or talent that define their character and life. Their application for FLEX would be incomplete without it. Please share your story if it sounds like you . You can find an exchange student essay on this topic below.
• Our success in studies, personal life , and career owes to the lessons learned through overcoming obstacles. Have you ever faced a failure, challenge, or setback that made you stronger and smarter? How did it affect you, and what conclusions did you make?
• Recall a hard problem you had to solve or the one you are still struggling with. For example, it can be a complicated assignment, an intellectual challenge, or an ethical dilemma. Why is it so critical to you? Which steps did you take or could take to find a solution?
• Reflect on a belief or idea that you felt was wrong. Why did you question it? What result did you reach in these thoughts?
• Our accomplishments and realizations spark a new understanding of life and personal growth . Tell about a similar event that changed the way you perceive yourself and others.
• Describe an idea or topic that is engaging enough to make you lose track of time. Why is it so captivating? What actions do you make to learn more in this field?

👀 Study Abroad Essay Sample

Every person has a talent. It takes a while to discover it, but life becomes similar to an engaging strategy game once you know your vocation. My parents never insisted on my selecting a path. I tried many hobbies and activities, but none of them lasted longer than a year.

Four years ago, I attended my first botany class. At that moment, I understood that it was something I would like to study deeper. So many plants surround us, and we are ignorant of their names and life cycles. This knowledge gives us an opportunity to understand our role on the planet and explore how we can help nature.

This year, I asked myself: what do I want to do in my future life? It didn’t take long to answer. I would like to become a pharmacologist and develop new medicines. But at the moment, I need to study hard. I expect that the study abroad program will allow me to learn more about American culture and make me more open-minded.

As an international student, I will have a chance to perfect my biology knowledge at an American school. I can tell a lot about trees, flowers, and grass, as well as the animals and birds that live in them. That is why I will always have a topic to discuss with my host family and peers. I am looking forward to meeting new people and experiences.

Your student exchange application essay can be the deciding factor for your selection and participation in the student exchange program. There is no doubt that your student exchange essay can be a good indicator of your personality. Make every effort to communicate your enthusiasm for studying abroad and let the student exchange program officials learn about your unique qualities. Also, don’t be shy to use every bit of help that you may require. For instance, try a summary helper if you struggle to finish up your writing properly, get someone to proofread your writing in case you’re not sure if it’s perfect, and so on.

Remember that studying abroad is a life-changing experience that will impact your college career. Don’t miss this chance to invest in your future. Start your journey today with a strongly written and carefully proofread student exchange essay. We promise it will make a difference!

✏️ Student Exchange Essay FAQ

If you write an application for a scholarship, it is crucial that your study abroad essay tells about your personal motivation to participate in the exchange program. Otherwise, you may focus on the general pros and cons of the experience.

When you start a personal statement, keep in mind that it is the way admission committees get to know you. Make sure to provide relevant info about your goals , passions , examples of personal accomplishments , etc.

If it is a welcome letter to a foreign student, express how glad you are to meet them. You may give some advice on how to adapt to the new environment, share your thoughts about the exchange program, and ask about the student’s feelings and impressions .

Some advantages of becoming a foreign exchange student are: broadening your horizons , getting off your comfort zone, making new friends, practicing foreign languages (if applicable), gaining new skills/knowledge. Overall, it is an excellent opportunity to experience something new and valuable.

• 25 Reasons to Study Abroad | Top Universities
• Exchange Programs | U.S. Department of State
• EU students | European Commission
• Student Exchange Programs | EF Foreign Exchange
• International Student Exchange Programs
• 8 Student Exchange Programs for Teens | GoAbroad.com
• How to apply – International Exchange and Study Abroad
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The contest is now closed. Please check Contest Results page to read the essay of the best paper writer. Custom Writing team has selected 15 best works among the submissions, and we gladly invite our blog readers to help us determine three most talented writers amid contest participants.

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Really valid and sensible . Great work. I hope it will help alot

Thank you very much, I also wanted to participate in flex program, but I didn’t understand much about Essay and I understood a lot after seeing this sample

Hello, I am from Uzbekistan. I want to participate in the student exchange program in the USA. How is this test administered? Online or face-to-face and where? And what knowledge should be acquired to participate in the program

This was an useful blog for our institute

How long should a exchange essay be?

Your essay should be up to one page in length if not otherwise required by your professor

Hello. Please help me with my essay. I can not pay. Can you send me some sample essays, please?

It is very helpful thanks.

Good techniques

Study Abroad Personal Statement Sample + Success Tips

I. what is a personal statement.

The personal statement is a short essay in which the candidate explains how they will apply to the study abroad program and how they qualify for a study abroad scholarship. Candidates may be requested to submit a personal statement as part of the study abroad scholarship application package.

In this article, I’ll discuss how to write a personal statement for study abroad, and at the end of the article, you will find a good study abroad essay example.

It’s Good To Know: Supporting Statements Examples

II. How Do I Write A Personal Statement For Study Abroad?

Study Abroad Personal Statement Example

There isn’t any right or wrong method to structure your statement, but writing a solid, clear, and convincing statement that includes all of the information requested by the admissions officer is essential.

Below is a personal statement for studying abroad example. You can use this basic structure to help you write your statement:

a. Introduction

Begin your personal statement by stating your interest in studying abroad and also how you plan to profit from it.

In the body, the first section describes what you can contribute to the program or internship. 

• What will you gain from this experience, and how will it benefit and reflect well on the institution you represent? 
• What qualities do you possess that will distinguish you as a standout candidate?

Then, Describe how the study abroad program will assist you in achieving both your academic and professional objectives.

• Academic objectives relate to your curriculum, degree program, and scholarly research. 
• Professional objectives are set for yourself when you finish your degree programs, such as employment, job marketability, and volunteer work.

Finally, but only when the program demands it, include a statement of financial necessity.

• A financial need statement is not required for all study abroad programs. The financial necessity statement outlines why you require scholarship funding to assist you in paying for your study abroad experience. 

If the screening committee believes you don’t need the money, you are unlikely to be chosen. 

• Describe why you have been relying just on scholarship monies in as much detail as feasible. 

While everyone’s experiences may vary, here are some examples of situations you could share in this section:

• Tuition fee
• Other costs associated with college (e.g., textbooks, transportation)
• In the family, there has been a death or a significant sickness.
• Unexpected financial expenditure. For example, job loss, a natural tragedy, or a car accident.

International Relations Personal Statement

c. Conclusion

End by thanking the selection committee and assuring them that, if chosen, you would be a constructive ambassador for the school.

III. What To Include In Your Personal Statement?

You have to add the following information to write an excellent personal statement.

1- What Motivates You To Pursue A Degree In A Foreign Country?

You’ll need to demonstrate that you’re ready to incur the risk of studying abroad. See below our study abroad statement of purpose example to get an idea.

2- What motivates You To Enrol In This Programme?

To write an effective personal statement, you need to be passionate about your writing. Your chances of getting awarded a place will improve if you can display genuine enthusiasm and enthusiasm for the subject you’ve selected to study.

3- Explain Why You Wish To Study In This Country

Explain why their nation is the perfect place for you to follow your aspirations as an admissions tutor. If you are unclear about what to write, read a sample personal statement for international students . 

4- Your Language Abilities

Discuss your language skills and the results of any language proficiency exams you’ve completed.

5- Interests And Hobbies

Whether you prefer athletics, cooking, or gardening, you will have developed some transferable abilities. Your personal statement will be elevated to another level if you link your extracurricular activities to the course you’re applying to.

6- Your Long-Term Career Goals

Discussing your goals beyond graduation demonstrates your dedication to your profession and also your ambition.

7- Relevant Work Experience

Going to mention any internship or placements you’ve had in the very same field as your education may help you stand out.

8- Voluntary Work

Include any voluntary work you’ve done and any essential skills or life lessons you’ve learned.

9- The Documents Requested By The University

As parts of your personal statement, you may be required to include paperwork and references. They may be rejected if they are not submitted.

IV. How Long Should Your Personal Statement Be?

The length of your personal statement will vary depending on where you want to go to school and whether you’re attending an undergraduate or graduate programme.

If you want to study in the United Kingdom, your personal statement will have a set length: of 4,000 characters and 47 lines maximum. Your statement will be submitted through the Universities and Colleges Admissions Service, a single site (UCAS) . 

Look for Why study in UK personal statement sample and see the word count.

V. How Should You “Start” Your Personal Statement? Studying Abroad Personal Statement Examples

Your personal statement should draw the reader’s attention right away, so get right to the point without waffling on. Begin by describing yourself and your reasons and motivation for choosing the course you are applying for in a concise statement. 

Admissions officers have seen it all before, so you don’t have to waste time coming up with gimmicks or clichés to stand apart. First impressions are more memorable if you show your passion and enthusiasm right from the beginning. 

It’s a bad idea to begin your statement with a quote from someone else. What you feel is more important to the admissions officer than what someone else thinks or has stated. If you rely too much on others’ words, your statement will lose its genuineness. 

You don’t necessarily have to begin the writing process from scratch. Get rid of the rule book and leave the first paragraph for the last. To get your creative juices flowing , it’s best to start in the middle. You may find it easier to write the introduction if you’ve already jotted down some ideas. 

VI. Tips To Write A Good Personal Statement For Studying Abroad  

You must write accurately and engagingly to have the best chance. Following are some pro tips for enhancing your application: 

a. Be Real And Truthful: 

Admissions officials want to learn more about the person behind the paper. Don’t inflate your accomplishments or claim to be someone you are not. You run the danger of being taken off guard at an interview if you do so. 

b. Understand The Basics: 

Grammar, structure, and spelling errors can ruin your personal statement immediately. You’ll go one step ahead if you get the basics perfect. 

c. Proofread: 

After you’ve checked your writing for errors, ask your friends, colleagues, family, or teachers to review it. They might make observations you haven’t observed before and provide insightful commentary. 

d. Take Your Time: 

The best ideas typically evolve, so it makes sense to begin working on your personal statement long before the due date. This allows you to review multiple revisions before the due date for submission. 

e. Do Not Buy Or Copy: 

It’s OK to read personal statement examples online, but strongly avoid copying or buying them. Any issues with similarities will be detected after your statement has been checked for plagiarism online. There are a lot of personal statement writing platforms which may fire you back. For example, they may sell you a plagiarized copy of the content.

F. Search And Understand What University Is Looking For In A Candidate: 

Try to find out about the applicants your university is searching for by checking the websites or course descriptions. Write your statement as you have these abilities and traits. You can also tell about the institutes you have learnt for example “Strengthening my expertise through the comprehensive ExamSnap Cisco certification courses has not only deepened my technical proficiency but also enriched my skill set”.

Read More: Essay My Favourite Teacher

VII. Study Abroad Personal Statement Sample: Study Abroad Personal Statement Examples

Use this sample as a personal statement for study abroad in Australia . But see the word count of the personal statement for the university you are applying to.

There’s something about travel that expands your eyes in ways even the most thorough study of texts or photographs can’t. I believed I’d studied practically every facet of Spanish culture, history, and geography as just a Spanish major expecting to use my degree as an interpretation. I thought nothing could genuinely surprise me as my buddies and I agreed to take a springtime trip to Barcelona. My seven-day journey was filled with lessons, telling me that there is still so much more to know and that some things can only be taught via experience. As a result, I am enrolling in a study abroad program in Madrid for the autumn semester, and I am confident that it will provide me with a better overall grasp of Spain and its diverse culture. Understanding the accents and pronunciation of the people in the locations where I’ll be operating will be critical for me as an interpreter. Before my trip to Barcelona, I had no idea how diverse the accents of different parts of the city might be. After being unable to comprehend a man’s response to my question about the direction of the restrooms, I recognized that specific comprehension could be gained by spending significant time with people. Speaking with them and educating myself to recognize the varied intonations and emphasis on particular sounds. Being from a tiny town in the United States, I did grow up with a pretty small-town outlook on the world, which I intend to enhance when I go not just to Spain but many other countries. This study abroad experience allows me to not only completely immerse myself in such a different cultural background with many various points of view, but it will also educate me to appreciate my own. I feel that this study abroad program in Madrid, when combined with the vocational training I will receive through my degree, will provide me with the tools I want to become a great interpreter and global citizen.

Final Words

A personal statement is a chance for you to demonstrate to the reader who you are. To be eligible to study abroad, you must submit this as an “interview.”

The purpose of this essay is to demonstrate how your personal experiences have moulded you into the individual you are now and how this can make you competent for studying abroad in a new nation. If you want the admission officer to get a clear picture of who you are, you need to share personal details about yourself.

So we’ve done our study abroad personal statement. If you are looking for ” how to write a personal statement for exchange program” or ” personal statement for exchange program example ” you can hire our writers. 

What should be in a study abroad personal statement?

In a study abroad personal statement, you have to include all the information about your qualification, experience, skills, and most importantly, the reason why you want to study there.

How do you write a personal statement for an international student?

Briefly introduce yourself. Then in the body paragraph, mention your qualification, experience, qualities, and objectives.

Conclude your statement by assuring the selecting board that you are good at your studies and can be a constructive ambassador to the students.

How do I write a statement of interest for study abroad?

Write what motivates you to be admitted to ABC university and why you have chosen the one for your degree.

How do I start studying abroad essay?

Start your essay with an inspirational quote. Avoid cliche. Mention the reason why you want to study abroad.

State the inspiration behind your decision of studying abroad. 

References:

https://eric.ed.gov/?id=EJ1081359

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/10528008.1999.11488657

https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11266-017-9899-0

Author & Editor Team: : Adila Zakir, Alexa Smith

Our review panel has been working in academic and non-academic writing for more than 1 decade.

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How Do I Write a Personal Statement for Study Abroad?

September 26, 2023

Programs for this blog post

Authored by:.

Writing a personal statement is an important aspect of the study abroad application process. However, if you’re unfamiliar with the practice, it can seem overwhelming. Have no fear – CIEE is here! Let’s review how to write a personal statement for study abroad.  

What is a Study Abroad Personal Statement?  

First things first. What even is a study abroad personal statement? Knowing the definition of what it is will help you write one.  

Simply put, a study abroad personal statement is a component of your CIEE application, specifically in the CIEE scholarships and grants portion (which every student should fill out, by the way). It is a brief essay (300 words) in which you explain how a CIEE study abroad program will impact your college experience and/or your future career plans.  

Read More: How to Apply to a Study Abroad Scholarship at CIEE: 4 Steps

What Are Study Abroad Personal Statement Examples? 

To give you a better idea of how this content should develop, take a look at a few short study abroad personal statement examples:  

• “Partaking in the Arts + Sciences program in Cape Town , South Africa will further my passion and dream career in public health by volunteering with local health and medical organizations and learning how to better support people in historically complex socioeconomic situations and aid them in finding the resources they need equitably.”  
• “The Sustainability + the Environment study abroad program in Monteverde , Costa Rica will provide me with the opportunity to gain hands-on experience in a variety of different environments, like the Lowland Rainforest, and conduct research alongside professionals in the field. Eventually, I want to be a researcher that helps bring sustainability and conservation issues to the forefront of each and every country.”  
• “I want to be a Spanish teacher. I have always loved the language and learning more about diverse Spanish traditions, and there’s no better way to do both than by living and breathing the language and local culture during a study abroad program in Seville .”  

While your own study abroad personal statement will be a bit longer than these quick topic sentences, these examples directly explain how a CIEE Study Abroad experience will enhance a student’s passions and general career aspirations.  

How to Write a Personal Statement for Study Abroad? 

We have a few quick tips that will help you write your personal statement for studying abroad.  

How do you start a personal statement?  

Step #1: identify your “why”.

The best way to start a study abroad personal statement is by identifying what you’re truly passionate about. This should be an easy start – if you’ve always been enthusiastic about history, explain why. If you love Japanese manga, explain how you got into it. If you’re an avid hiker, describe when you first fell in love with a trek. Be yourself when writing about topics or activities that are important to you – we want to hear about it!  

Read More: What are Your Goals for Studying Abroad?

Step #2: Explore How Your Passions Translate into a Career

Next, think deeply about how you can turn your passions into a career, or at the very least, how you plan on practicing your interests in the future, whether in college or in a professional capacity.  

Referencing our former examples, if you’re fascinated by history, you might have plans to go to graduate school and study archaeology. As a manga lover, you might start a youth club on the topic in your local community. As an avid hiker, you might want to become a professional conservationist to not only keep your beloved trails intact, but also to protect wildlife and natural sanctuaries.  

Read More: How to Put Study Abroad on Your Resume: 4 Steps

Step #3: Align Your Goals with a CIEE Program

The last step is putting it all together and aligning with CIEE study abroad programs. Once you’ve detailed your passions and how you want to incorporate them into your future plans, pinpoint which CIEE study abroad program will help you fulfill your goals.  

As a history and archaeology lover, studying abroad in Greater China , with ancient battlefields and some of the most impressive structures ever built, might be the best opportunity to kickstart your career. As a Japanese manga fan, heading to Kyoto , home to the world’s first manga museum, will help you dive deep into the subject matter. To continue your hikes, traveling to the iconic Blue Mountains in Sydney will be your best bet.  

Read More: Is Studying Abroad Worth It? 10 Outcomes of Studying Abroad

How long should a personal statement be?  

Word counts for your study abroad personal statement will vary by CIEE program and by host institution (the university you’ll be studying at overseas). Prepare to write at least 300 words, which is a little more than half a page, single-spaced.  

Does CIEE Require a Personal Statement?  

CIEE’s study abroad personal statement requirements vary by program and not all guidelines are the same. Generally speaking, you should expect to be required to complete a personal statement if you decide to apply for CIEE funding (which, you totally should, as CIEE awards thousands each year to students like YOU!). Outside of any CIEE personal statements you may be required to complete, you should also check with your school’s study abroad office to see what their requirements may be.

Make the World Your Classroom

While writing a personal statement for studying abroad may not be required based on your program of choice, it’s still incredibly valuable, at the very least, to think about how a study abroad program will impact your college experience and/or future plans. Establishing this will provide a lot of meaning to your adventure and will really help you become the best version of yourself.  

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Writing a Personal Statement for Studying Abroad

When you are applying for a study abroad program you may be asked to write a personal statement. If you aren’t sure about what a personal statement is, what it looks like, or what it includes, you can find out right here with our guide to writing a personal statement…

What is a personal statement?

A personal statement is often the only opportunity you have to set yourself apart from all the other applicants who also want to study your chosen course. Many admissions officers use it to make their final decision on a shortlist of candidates. Primarily it is a way for them to find out the reasons behind your application answers but they will also want to know what makes you unique. What will you bring to your class that is different? You need to convey your enthusiasm for the subject making sure you give an honest explanation.

You may also need to write a personal statement for a scholarship application, which could mean the difference between studying and not. There is no need to panic though as writing a personal statement for studying abroad is not as hard as it sounds. Just follow our guide and you’ll have a great statement in no time.

What does a personal statement look like?

Most personal statements are just one or two pages that focus on one or two clear themes, and give an in depth explanation of your abilities or interests in that area. Don’t try to fit in your entire life story or all of your achievements, as this will waste valuable space.

The best personal statements have a clear structure – a compelling introduction, between two and five body paragraphs that give solid reasons or explanations for studying, and a strong conclusion. But before you start writing, make sure you read any instructions that were sent. Not all personal statements are the same so be sure to check what your admissions office requires. Once you know what they require, make sure you keep to that format – if they want two A4 pages double-spaced, then don’t send in four pages. If they ask you to answer three specific questions, do so clearly. Otherwise your statement could be rejected before it has even been read.

What does a personal statement include?

• A strong introduction
• A summary of your achievements
• Details of your skills and abilities
• An explanation of why you would be a good fit for the degree or scholarship
• A conclusion that rounds out your statement nicely and brings it all together

Introduction

Your introduction needs to grab the reader’s attention. It sets the tone for the rest of the statement. Avoid clichés or long-winded explanations. Instead, spark their interest and get to the point – in just one paragraph. Because the introduction is so important, you may want to write it last. That’s OK!

In the body of your personal statement, you need to demonstrate some reasons behind your theme. Think of this as an argument, just like an essay – and just like an essay, you should back up all of your statements. Don’t just state your achievements, explain what is behind them, giving examples of when you have shown certain abilities or skills, as this adds credibility to your argument and can make a big difference in making your statement stand out from the crowd.  You are trying to persuade the reader that you are the best possible student for this class or scholarship so it’s also a good place to mention achievements that you were unable to include in your main application, but only if they are relevant.

Your conclusion needs to flow from the rest of the copy. An attention-grabbing sentence at the end will help give impact to your statement, so be sure you emphasise your desire to study. You may wish to include a specific reason for choosing that university in your conclusion – some unique feature that ties in with the points you have outlined on your goals and experience. It’s a good way to show that you have researched that institution, and that this is not just a generic statement.

Whenever possible, leave your statement overnight and then look at it again with fresh eyes. Check that it flows well and ensure there are no grammar and spelling mistakes. Now you’re ready to show it to some friends and relatives asking them for constructive feedback. A second point of view can really add to your statement and is well worth taking the effort. Personal statements are so important and could be the reason for your application to the institution or scholarship failing.

If you’re not confident about your English ability, ask a fluent English speaker to proofread it. This is critical, as your personal statement demonstrates your ability to write and communicate in English when you study. For many admissions officers, clear English is the first thing they look for.

A good writer always thinks about the reader’s point of view. In this case, the admissions officer may have only two minutes to review your statement. He or she may read thousands during the admissions process. So keep it clear, simple and to the point.

SEE MORE:  10 reasons your scholarship application may fail

Following this guide will help you to write an excellent personal statement. If you are still unsure of the course you wish to apply for, you can use our course search tool at the top of the page to find your ideal university.

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Exchange Student Tips

Information and Advice for Foreign Exchange Students

Student Exchange Application: 9 Powerful (and Easy!) Steps to a Great Application

Here’s the thing:

Finding an exchange student program  and choosing a host country are easy.

Actually getting onto the program you want, and being selected to go to your first-choice country, is very hard.

In a word, the problem is  competition .

When you apply to be a foreign exchange student, you’ll be competing against high achievers – well-rounded, good citizen-type students, who are highly motivated, above average academically and with great credentials.

They may be current school captains or class presidents, or captains of the school debate team.

They may even be former exchange students, or already fluent in the language of the country they want to exchange to.

From the perspective of a student exchange program, those are all big pluses.

How do you beat those guys?

Don’t fear. I have nine simple yet extremely powerful tips which are going to help you write a student exchange application that will blow them all away.

1. Make your written student exchange application irresistible by focussing on personal characteristics that the exchange program is looking for

Most people trip up because they treat their written student exchange application as an opportunity to write a long essay about themselves.

They write about their interests and skills and hopes as an exchange student.

What should they really be doing?

Focussing on the exchange program and the kinds of students the program wants to send overseas.  

Think about it.

In the mind of the person reading your application, your goals or hobbies or expectations are secondary considerations.

What that person really wants to know is whether you have the personal qualities that the exchange program thinks are important for exchange students to have.

So, when you’re writing your application, you need to keep those desirable personal qualities front and centre.

Now, here’s some good news:

Exchange organisations usually tell you the very qualities they are looking for, in very explicit terms, on their websites.

For example, the AFS Australia website states as follows:

The AFS website actually tells you very directly that AFS is looking for people who are flexible, self-confident and able to mix well with others.

If you were applying for an exchange with AFS, you’d know exactly what personal qualities to focus on in your written application, wouldn’t you?

You’d give them what they wanted and talk about how you possess all of those qualities, thereby demonstrating that you are exactly the kind of person AFS likes to send overseas, and a better candidate than your competitors.

In a similar vein, the global website for Rotary youth exchange states the following:

Again, it’s virtually laid out on a platter:

Anyone interested in applying for a student exchange with Rotary needs to demonstrate through his or her written application that he or she is:

• open to different cultures, and
• able to serve as an ambassador

Before you start writing your application, be sure to find out the kind of student your exchange program is aiming to recruit, and make sure that your application demonstrates that you meet that profile.

2. Start your answers with strong, positive statements which send the message that you meet the exchange program’s requirements exactly

In high school, you’ve probably learned that the correct way to format every paragraph in an essay is to:

• Start the paragraph with a firm statement or proposition , and then
• Provide relevant evidence or other detail which supports that statement or proposition

The same rule applies with your student exchange application.

You need to start each answer with a strong, positive statement which directly addresses the question you’ve been asked and leaves no doubt that you meet each criterion set by the exchange program.

For example, your application might have the following question:

Exchange students constantly encounter new people and situations and need to be flexible and open to change. Describe a situation in which you displayed flexibility and a willingness to change.

A good way to start your answer to that question would be as follows:

I am a flexible person who has displayed a willingness to adapt to changing circumstances.

Why is that sentence so powerful?

Because it borrows key language from the question – the words “flexible”, “willingness” and “change” –  and therefore addresses the question directly.

It’s also a strong statement because it starts using the very strong statement “I am” – rather than “I consider myself” or “I aim to be” or some other weaker formulation.

In other words,  that sentence sends the message that you are exactly the person the program is looking for .

Make sure that you begin your answer to each question on your application form with a sentence that:

• includes words and phrases from the question, and
• uses strong and definitive “I am” language

3. Supercharge your opening statements using the most persuasive word in the English language

Here’s how to go one better and make the opening statements in your student exchange application virtually unstoppable:

Work the word “because” into each of your statements.

In his best-selling book Influence – The Psychology of Persuasion , Dr Robert Cialdini identifies the word “because” as the most persuasive word known to man. For some reason, people are very easily persuaded by sentences and questions containing the word “because”.

What does this mean for you?

You need to capture the strong, almost hypnotic power of the word “because” and put it to work in your application.

Specifically, try to  work the word “because” into each of your strong statements in order to make the reasons and statements that follow seem more convincing .

So, the introductory words we looked at earlier would change from:

I am a flexible person because I have displayed a willingness to adapt to changing circumstances

It’s just a small linguistic change, but one which should have a big impact on the effectiveness of your application.

4. Make your application the best of the bunch by supporting your statements with facts, and only facts

Now, let me help you avoid making a big mistake.

Once you’ve made your bold statement to begin each answer in your student exchange application, you need hard evidence to back it up.

There are several kinds of evidence you could use to support the statements you make in your application, such as:

• Facts – for example, “I have studied German for five years” or “I am the editor of my high school’s yearbook”
• Intentions – for example, “I plan to take an intensive German course this spring” or “I will be volunteering at a Camp Kesem camp this summer”
• Interests – for example, “I have always been interested in German history” or “I am passionate about European politics”
• Opinions – for example, “German would be a very useful language for me to learn” and “I believe that I would make a good host daughter”

The strongest of those options by an absolute mile is facts .

In fact, if you want to knock your competitors out of the ballpark, you should only use facts to back up the statements in your application.

Why are facts so powerful?

Because they are indisputable and verifiable.

In other words, they are evidence of what you have done . That is far more valuable and credible than evidence about things you would like to do or are planning to do.

Furthermore, if you only use facts in your application, you won’t sound like you’re bragging or big-noting yourself. All you’re doing is talking about factual events that have already happened.

I almost guarantee that your competitors will be using all the other, weaker types of evidence, and submitting far weaker applications as a result.

Don’t make the same mistake.

Stay gold, and stick to the facts.

5. Gather your ammunition

Here’s a useful exercise you can use to maximise the number of strong, convincing facts in your student exchange application.

Before you even start writing your application, sit down with a blank piece of paper.

Spend half an hour writing down every single positive fact you can think of which may be relevant to your exchange application, including:

• leadership positions you’ve held
• academic successes you’ve had (for example, a high GPA or any academic awards)
• evidence that you are a good citizen (such as previous volunteer work, participation in things like scouts, and even regular blood donations)
• prior relevant experience such as previous short-stay exchanges
• any language experience – not necessarily in the language of the country you’d like to exchange to
• anything showing your adaptability
• anything demonstrating your coolness under pressure

Don’t stop writing until you’ve filled up the whole page, then go away for 24 hours.

The next day, sit down with your list and add anything else you’ve thought about in the meantime.

You want to capture absolutely any and every positive fact about yourself.

Then, when you sit down to write your application, you’ll have a ready-made stash of hard, factual evidence you can use to support your strong statements.

Then, you can move on to step 6.

6. Make sure you finish on top by playing your trump card

So, by now you have some very strong and positive statements written, and a mountain of factual evidence to support those statements.

Here’s how to seal the deal.

You need a trump card – something you’ve done which no-one else has, which makes you stand out and tells the exchange program that you are willing to go further than your competitors.

Even if everyone else is giving 100% effort, your trump card will push you to 110%. And I virtually guarantee that an exchange program will choose 110% over 100% any day of the week.

Let me show you exactly what I mean.

Case study: how I got beaten fair and square by a trump card

When I applied to go on exchange, my first choice country was Germany .

Germany is always a popular exchange destination because so many people learn German at school.

However, I thought I was in with a good chance for the following reasons:

• I was the current vice-captain (vice president) of my high school, which was one of the best schools in the region
• I was on the school debate team, editor of the school yearbook, and had a stack of other leadership and community service credentials
• I had a strong academic record, which included five years of studying German

My written application was very strong, and I thought I had a great interview with representatives from the exchange program.

I thought I had Germany in the bag.

Then, I got trumped: I got my second choice country, Switzerland, and a girl called Jessica was chosen to go on exchange to Germany.

(Switzerland turned out great, by the way, but that’s another story).

What did Jessica do that gave her the edge over me?

Like me, she was well-credentialed, had good academics and had previously studied German.

Like me, she evidently also had a strong application and made a good impression at her interview.

Unlike me, however, Jessica had undertaken an unpaid internship at her city’s German chamber of commerce and gotten a letter of recommendation from the head of the chamber. She forwarded that letter along with her application.

That was an extremely smart and strong trump card, which sent the message that Jessica was super-serious about going to Germany. It was enough to push her in front of me and everyone else wanting to go to Germany.

Jessica thought outside the box and was rewarded with her first choice of country to exchange to.

Now let me tell you how to get your own trump card.

Four trump card ideas

Jessica’s trump card idea of working at her local German chamber of commerce was a good one, because it demonstrated how committed she was to exchanging to Germany.

If you have a few months before your application is due, you can try to arrange something similar, depending upon the organisations and groups located in your area.

For example, where we live, there is:

• a nursing home for elderly  Italian people
• a chapter of the American-Australian association
• a twin cities association managing the relationship with our twin city Versailles, in France,  and
• a German language library and resources centre which is staffed by volunteers

Some unpaid volunteer work at any of those institutions would combine charity work and a country-specific trump card that would be hard for any exchange organisation to resist.

Think about similar opportunities which exist in your city or region, and turn one into a great trump card.

Short-notice trump card

You might have a problem:

Internships and volunteer work take time to organise and undertake.

What can you do if you’re in the throes of writing your application and need a trump card within the next week or two?

Here’s a quickly actionable trump card idea that you can deploy if you’re short of time (or no other suitable trump cards seem to be available in your area):

Get a letter of recommendation from your local mayor or congressman

Politicians are nearly always big on diplomacy and promoting the region they represent.

They also love it when one of their constituents receives an award or recognition of some kind, because it reflects well on them.

Here’s how to use these traits to your advantage:

Try making an appointment with your local mayor or congressman.

Explain that you are applying for an exchange program and spend half an hour outlining some of your credentials to him or her.

Then, very politely ask him or her for a letter of recommendation, on official letterhead.

In exchange, offer to make yourself available for a photo opportunity if you are chosen to go on exchange, and be sure to keep that promise if you are successful.

His or her answer will nearly certainly be “yes”.

A letter of recommendation from a recognised political figure can open a surprising number of doors.

The exchange program may figure that if you’ve met and made a good impression on your congressman or mayor, you’ll make a good impression on people that you’ll meet overseas.

7. For maximum impact, put your strongest evidence first

Here’s a strange little fact:

The average adult now has an attention span of only 8.25 seconds .

Furthermore, according to a study cited by Forbes magazine, the average adult reads at a speed of about 300 words per minute .

T he person reading your student exchange application will probably only focus on the first 40-45 words of each answer you give before starting to lose focus .

That, in turn, means that you need to do two things:

First, use your strongest evidence first . Once you’ve made your strong statement for each answer, follow up with the strongest fact or evidence you have to support that statement. Because you’ve only got one or two sentences before your audience starts to lose attention, you need to fill those first few sentences with your best stuff.

Second, keep your sentences short . From a readability perspective, it’s already good practice to keep your sentences to a length of around 20 words each. Keeping your sentences short and to the point – and not filling them with unnecessary things like adjectives – will also help you to maximise the amount of information you get across in your application before the person reading it loses concentration.

8. Use these three tools to make your student exchange application a pleasure to read

The person reading your student exchange application may have dozens of written applications to read.

How do you make yours stand out?

You may be surprised to hear that one of the easiest ways to make a good impression through your application is to make it easy to read.

Here are three tools that will make your application an easy and pleasurable read:

Tool 1: Short sentences

By all means, use as many facts to support your application as you feel are relevant.

But, be sure to keep your sentences short when describing those facts.

The reason for doing this is simple:

Long sentences are tiring for a reader and can result in your core messages getting lost.

Make sure you don’t bury your high-quality content under lots of unnecessary verbiage.

• minimise your use of colons and semi-colons
• don’t use connecting words like “which” and “that” unless you absolutely have to
• aim for one sentence per idea or example you wish to make, and
• try to keep your sentences shorter than 20 words, and no longer than 30 words

Tool 2: A font which is easy and pleasant to read

If your student exchange application is typed rather than hand-written, and you can control the font, make it more readable by applying the following font rules.

Use at least 13-point font , and preferably 14-point . The default on many word processors is 12-point which is too low and can cause eye fatigue.

Use 1.5 point line spacing , to increase the gap between lines and make them easier and more pleasant to read.

Use a plain, no-nonsense typeface like Times New Roman or Arial , which won’t distract or annoy the person reading your application, and let them focus on your content.

Tool 3: Use the active voice, and minimise the passive voice

Write as much of your student exchange application in the active voice as possible, and avoid writing in the passive voice.

What’s the difference?

A sentence written in the passive voice has no subject – that is, no person doing the verb.

For example, the following sentence is in the passive voice:

I was voted class president last year.

Now here’s the same sentence in the active voice:

My classmates voted me class president last year.

In the first sentence, it isn’t immediately apparent who voted for the narrator to be class president. The second – active voice – sentence contains the subject “my classmates”, which makes this clear.

You need to avoid writing in the passive voice, and write your entire student exchange application in the active voice instead, because:

• Readers tire when they have to read a lot of sentences written in the passive voice
• The person reading your application may recognise your use of the passive voice – particularly if they are older than about 45, or have a lot of experience with linguistics or learning languages – and mark you down for writing incorrectly
• The active voice helps to minimise any ambiguity

If you already have great content, applying these three tools will help your application make an even more positive impression and increase your chances of success.

9. Make your student exchange application twice as strong by getting not one, but TWO experts to read it

This may be the most important tip on this page:

Once your exchange program application is written, you need to ask two very specific people to proof-read and evaluate it for you.

“But wait,” you say. “I’ve already lined up my mom/dad/best friend to read my application and make suggestions”.

Unfortunately, that won’t work. Here’s why:

• your family and friends are unlikely to give you honest feedback – that is, they will tell you what you want to hear, rather than what you need to hear, in order to spare your feelings
• they won’t necessarily have any insight into what the exchange program will be looking for , and
• they are unlikely to have the technical expertise to make your answers read well

Here’s a better idea:

Get two people with specific, relevant experience and skills to review and make comments on your application.

Expert 1 – A trusted teacher at your school

First of all, you need to ask a teacher at your school who you know well and are friendly with to take a look at your student exchange application.

Why a teacher?

Firstly, because teachers spend a good part of each day evaluating work that their students have written. They are practised at reviewing documents and providing honest but constructive feedback.

In other words, the teacher you ask will most likely give you genuine, actionable tips on how to improve your application.

The second reason is that the teacher will know you and be familiar with your personality, and may be able to suggest additional information that will enhance the content of your application.

The final reason is that teachers generally have a practised eye for spelling mistakes, grammatical errors and the like. Your teacher should be able to ensure that your application contains no errors which will detract from the effectiveness of the content.

Expert 2 – A former exchange student

The second person you need to show your student exchange application to is a former exchange student at your school who you know and are friendly with.

It doesn’t matter which exchange student program he or she travelled with, or which country he or she went to.

The reason for asking this person to look at your application is simple:

He or she will know what it takes to be a successful exchange student, and should be able to offer advice on the contents of your application which will make it more appealing to the exchange organisation.

The student should also be able to coach and advise you on the application process generally, including the application interview, which I’ll also deal with in my next post.

If you have any further tips or questions about filling out an exchange program application, you can leave them in the comments below.

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10 Personal Statement Essay Examples That Worked

What’s covered:, what is a personal statement.

• Essay 1: Summer Program
• Essay 2: Being Bangladeshi-American
• Essay 3: Why Medicine
• Essay 4: Love of Writing
• Essay 5: Starting a Fire
• Essay 6: Dedicating a Track
• Essay 7: Body Image and Eating Disorders
• Essay 8: Becoming a Coach
• Essay 9: Eritrea
• Essay 10: Journaling
• Is Your Personal Statement Strong Enough?

Your personal statement is any essay that you must write for your main application, such as the Common App Essay , University of California Essays , or Coalition Application Essay . This type of essay focuses on your unique experiences, ideas, or beliefs that may not be discussed throughout the rest of your application. This essay should be an opportunity for the admissions officers to get to know you better and give them a glimpse into who you really are.

In this post, we will share 10 different personal statements that were all written by real students. We will also provide commentary on what each essay did well and where there is room for improvement, so you can make your personal statement as strong as possible!

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Personal Statement Examples

Essay example #1: exchange program.

The twisting roads, ornate mosaics, and fragrant scent of freshly ground spices had been so foreign at first. Now in my fifth week of the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco, I felt more comfortable in the city. With a bag full of pastries from the market, I navigated to a bus stop, paid the fare, and began the trip back to my host family’s house. It was hard to believe that only a few years earlier my mom was worried about letting me travel around my home city on my own, let alone a place that I had only lived in for a few weeks. While I had been on a journey towards self-sufficiency and independence for a few years now, it was Morocco that pushed me to become the confident, self-reflective person that I am today.

As a child, my parents pressured me to achieve perfect grades, master my swim strokes, and discover interesting hobbies like playing the oboe and learning to pick locks. I felt compelled to live my life according to their wishes. Of course, this pressure was not a wholly negative factor in my life –– you might even call it support. However, the constant presence of my parents’ hopes for me overcame my own sense of desire and led me to become quite dependent on them. I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school. Despite all these achievements, I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success. I had always been expected to succeed on the path they had defined. However, this path was interrupted seven years after my parents’ divorce when my dad moved across the country to Oregon.

I missed my dad’s close presence, but I loved my new sense of freedom. My parents’ separation allowed me the space to explore my own strengths and interests as each of them became individually busier. As early as middle school, I was riding the light rail train by myself, reading maps to get myself home, and applying to special academic programs without urging from my parents. Even as I took more initiatives on my own, my parents both continued to see me as somewhat immature. All of that changed three years ago, when I applied and was accepted to the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco. I would be studying Arabic and learning my way around the city of Marrakesh. Although I think my parents were a little surprised when I told them my news, the addition of a fully-funded scholarship convinced them to let me go.

I lived with a host family in Marrakesh and learned that they, too, had high expectations for me. I didn’t know a word of Arabic, and although my host parents and one brother spoke good English, they knew I was there to learn. If I messed up, they patiently corrected me but refused to let me fall into the easy pattern of speaking English just as I did at home. Just as I had when I was younger, I felt pressured and stressed about meeting their expectations. However, one day, as I strolled through the bustling market square after successfully bargaining with one of the street vendors, I realized my mistake. My host family wasn’t being unfair by making me fumble through Arabic. I had applied for this trip, and I had committed to the intensive language study. My host family’s rules about speaking Arabic at home had not been to fulfill their expectations for me, but to help me fulfill my expectations for myself. Similarly, the pressure my parents had put on me as a child had come out of love and their hopes for me, not out of a desire to crush my individuality.

As my bus drove through the still-bustling market square and past the medieval Ben-Youssef madrasa, I realized that becoming independent was a process, not an event. I thought that my parents’ separation when I was ten had been the one experience that would transform me into a self-motivated and autonomous person. It did, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t still have room to grow. Now, although I am even more self-sufficient than I was three years ago, I try to approach every experience with the expectation that it will change me. It’s still difficult, but I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important.

What the Essay Did Well

This is a nice essay because it delves into particular character trait of the student and how it has been shaped and matured over time. Although it doesn’t focus the essay around a specific anecdote, the essay is still successful because it is centered around this student’s independence. This is a nice approach for a personal statement: highlight a particular trait of yours and explore how it has grown with you.

The ideas in this essay are universal to growing up—living up to parents’ expectations, yearning for freedom, and coming to terms with reality—but it feels unique to the student because of the inclusion of details specific to them. Including their oboe lessons, the experience of riding the light rail by themselves, and the negotiations with a street vendor helps show the reader what these common tropes of growing up looked like for them personally. 

Another strength of the essay is the level of self-reflection included throughout the piece. Since there is no central anecdote tying everything together, an essay about a character trait is only successful when you deeply reflect on how you felt, where you made mistakes, and how that trait impacts your life. The author includes reflection in sentences like “ I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success, ” and “ I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important. ” These sentences help us see how the student was impacted and what their point of view is.

What Could Be Improved

The largest change this essay would benefit from is to show not tell. The platitude you have heard a million times no doubt, but for good reason. This essay heavily relies on telling the reader what occurred, making us less engaged as the entire reading experience feels more passive. If the student had shown us what happens though, it keeps the reader tied to the action and makes them feel like they are there with the student, making it much more enjoyable to read. 

For example, they tell us about the pressure to succeed their parents placed on them: “ I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school.”  They could have shown us what that pressure looked like with a sentence like this: “ My stomach turned somersaults as my rattling knee thumped against the desk before every test, scared to get anything less than a 95. For five years the painful squawk of the oboe only reminded me of my parents’ claps and whistles at my concerts. I mastered the butterfly, backstroke, and freestyle, fighting against the anchor of their expectations threatening to pull me down.”

If the student had gone through their essay and applied this exercise of bringing more detail and colorful language to sentences that tell the reader what happened, the essay would be really great. 

Table of Contents

Essay Example #2: Being Bangladeshi-American

Life before was good: verdant forests, sumptuous curries, and a devoted family.

Then, my family abandoned our comfortable life in Bangladesh for a chance at the American dream in Los Angeles. Within our first year, my father was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. He lost his battle three weeks before my sixth birthday. Facing a new country without the steady presence of my father, we were vulnerable — prisoners of hardship in the land of the free. We resettled in the Bronx, in my uncle’s renovated basement. It was meant to be our refuge, but I felt more displaced than ever. Gone were the high-rise condos of West L.A.; instead, government projects towered over the neighborhood. Pedestrians no longer smiled and greeted me; the atmosphere was hostile, even toxic. Schoolkids were quick to pick on those they saw as weak or foreign, hurling harsh words I’d never heard before.

Meanwhile, my family began integrating into the local Bangladeshi community. I struggled to understand those who shared my heritage. Bangladeshi mothers stayed home while fathers drove cabs and sold fruit by the roadside — painful societal positions. Riding on crosstown buses or walking home from school, I began to internalize these disparities. During my fleeting encounters with affluent Upper East Siders, I saw kids my age with nannies, parents who wore suits to work, and luxurious apartments with spectacular views. Most took cabs to their destinations: cabs that Bangladeshis drove. I watched the mundane moments of their lives with longing, aching to plant myself in their shoes. Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

As I grappled with my relationship with the Bangladeshi community, I turned my attention to helping my Bronx community by pursuing an internship with Assemblyman Luis Sepulveda. I handled desk work and took calls, spending the bulk of my time actively listening to the hardships constituents faced — everything from a veteran stripped of his benefits to a grandmother unable to support her bedridden grandchild.

I’d never exposed myself to stories like these, and now I was the first to hear them. As an intern, I could only assist in what felt like the small ways — pointing out local job offerings, printing information on free ESL classes, reaching out to non-profits. But to a community facing an onslaught of intense struggles, I realized that something as small as these actions could have vast impacts. Seeing the immediate consequences of my actions inspired me. Throughout that summer, I internalized my community’s daily challenges in a new light. I began to stop seeing the prevalent underemployment and cramped living quarters less as sources of shame. Instead, I saw them as realities that had to be acknowledged, but could ultimately be remedied. I also realized the benefits of the Bangladeshi culture I had been so ashamed of. My Bangla language skills were an asset to the office, and my understanding of Bangladeshi etiquette allowed for smooth communication between office staff and its constituents. As I helped my neighbors navigate city services, I saw my heritage with pride — a perspective I never expected to have.

I can now appreciate the value of my unique culture and background, and of living with less. This perspective offers room for progress, community integration, and a future worth fighting for. My time with Assemblyman Sepulveda’s office taught me that I can be a change agent in enabling this progression. Far from being ashamed of my community, I want to someday return to local politics in the Bronx to continue helping others access the American Dream. I hope to help my community appreciate the opportunity to make progress together. By embracing reality, I learned to live it. Along the way, I discovered one thing: life is good, but we can make it better.

This student’s passion for social justice and civic duty shines through in this essay because of how honest it is. Sharing their personal experience with immigrating, moving around, being an outsider, and finding a community allows us to see the hardships this student has faced and builds empathy towards their situation. However, what really makes it strong is that they go beyond describing the difficulties they faced and explain the mental impact it had on them as a child: Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

The rejection of their culture presented at the beginning of the essay creates a nice juxtaposition with the student’s view in the latter half of the essay and helps demonstrate how they have matured. They use their experience interning as a way to delve into a change in their thought process about their culture and show how their passion for social justice began. Using this experience as a mechanism to explore their thoughts and feelings is an excellent example of how items that are included elsewhere on your application should be incorporated into your essay.

This essay prioritizes emotions and personal views over specific anecdotes. Although there are details and certain moments incorporated throughout to emphasize the author’s points, the main focus remains on the student and how they grapple with their culture and identity.  

One area for improvement is the conclusion. Although the forward-looking approach is a nice way to end an essay focused on social justice, it would be nice to include more details and imagery in the conclusion. How does the student want to help their community? What government position do they see themselves holding one day? 

A more impactful ending might look like the student walking into their office at the New York City Housing Authority in 15 years and looking at the plans to build a new development in the Bronx just blocks away from where the grew up that would provide quality housing to people in their Bangladeshi community. They would smile while thinking about how far they have come from that young kid who used to be ashamed of their culture. 

Essay Example #3: Why Medicine

I took my first trip to China to visit my cousin Anna in July of 2014. Distance had kept us apart, but when we were together, we fell into all of our old inside jokes and caught up on each other’s lives. Her sparkling personality and optimistic attitude always brought a smile to my face. This time, however, my heart broke when I saw the effects of her brain cancer; she had suffered from a stroke that paralyzed her left side. She was still herself in many ways, but I could see that the damage to her brain made things difficult for her. I stayed by her every day, providing the support she needed, whether assisting her with eating and drinking, reading to her, or just watching “Friends.” During my flight back home, sorrow and helplessness overwhelmed me. Would I ever see Anna again? Could I have done more to make Anna comfortable? I wished I could stay in China longer to care for her. As I deplaned, I wondered if I could transform my grief to help other children and teenagers in the US who suffered as Anna did.

The day after I got home, as jet lag dragged me awake a few minutes after midnight, I remembered hearing about the Family Reach Foundation (FRF) and its work with children going through treatments at the local hospital and their families. I began volunteering in the FRF’s Children’s Activity Room, where I play with children battling cancer. Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up. When they take on the roles of firefighters or fairies, we all get caught up in the game; for that time, they forget the sanitized, stark, impersonal walls of the pediatric oncology ward. Building close relationships with them and seeing them giggle and laugh is so rewarding — I love watching them grow and get better throughout their course of treatment.

Hearing from the parents about their children’s condition and seeing the children recover inspired me to consider medical research. To get started, I enrolled in a summer collegelevel course in Abnormal Psychology. There I worked with Catelyn, a rising college senior, on a data analysis project regarding Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Together, we examined the neurological etiology of DID by studying four fMRI and PET cases. I fell in love with gathering data and analyzing the results and was amazed by our final product: several stunning brain images showcasing the areas of hyper and hypoactivity in brains affected by DID. Desire quickly followed my amazement — I want to continue this project and study more brains. Their complexity, delicacy, and importance to every aspect of life fascinate me. Successfully completing this research project gave me a sense of hope; I know I am capable of participating in a large scale research project and potentially making a difference in someone else’s life through my research.

Anna’s diagnosis inspired me to begin volunteering at FRF; from there, I discovered my desire to help people further by contributing to medical research. As my research interest blossomed, I realized that it’s no coincidence that I want to study brains—after all, Anna suffered from brain cancer. Reflecting on these experiences this past year and a half, I see that everything I’ve done is connected. Sadly, a few months after I returned from China, Anna passed away. I am still sad, but as I run a toy truck across the floor and watch one of the little patients’ eyes light up, I imagine that she would be proud of my commitment to pursue medicine and study the brain.

This essay has a very strong emotional core that tugs at the heart strings and makes the reader feel invested. Writing about sickness can be difficult and doesn’t always belong in a personal statement, but in this case it works well because the focus is on how this student cared for her cousin and dealt with the grief and emotions surrounding her condition. Writing about the compassion she showed and the doubts and concerns that filled her mind keeps the focus on the author and her personality. 

This continues when she again discusses the activities she did with the kids at FRF and the personal reflection this experience allowed her to have. For example, she writes: Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up.

Concluding the essay with the sad story of her cousin’s passing brings the essay full circle and returns to the emotional heart of the piece to once again build a connection with the reader. However, it finishes on a hopeful note and demonstrates how this student has been able to turn a tragic experience into a source of lifelong inspiration. 

One thing this essay should be cognizant of is that personal statements should not read as summaries of your extracurricular resume. Although this essay doesn’t fully fall into that trap, it does describe two key extracurriculars the student participated in. However, the inclusion of such a strong emotional core running throughout the essay helps keep the focus on the student and her thoughts and feelings during these activities.

To avoid making this mistake, make sure you have a common thread running through your essay and the extracurriculars provide support to the story you are trying to tell, rather than crafting a story around your activities. And, as this essay does, make sure there is lots of personal reflection and feelings weaved throughout to focus attention to you rather than your extracurriculars. 

Essay Example #4: Love of Writing

“I want to be a writer.” This had been my answer to every youthful discussion with the adults in my life about what I would do when I grew up. As early as elementary school, I remember reading my writing pieces aloud to an audience at “Author of the Month” ceremonies. Bearing this goal in mind, and hoping to gain some valuable experience, I signed up for a journalism class during my freshman year. Despite my love for writing, I initially found myself uninterested in the subject and I struggled to enjoy the class. When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines. Journalism required a laconic style and orderly structure, and I found my teacher’s assignments formulaic and dull. That class shook my confidence as a writer. I was uncertain if I should continue in it for the rest of my high school career.

Despite my misgivings, I decided that I couldn’t make a final decision on whether to quit journalism until I had some experience working for a paper outside of the classroom. The following year, I applied to be a staff reporter on our school newspaper. I hoped this would help me become more self-driven and creative, rather than merely writing articles that my teacher assigned. To my surprise, my time on staff was worlds away from what I experienced in the journalism class. Although I was unaccustomed to working in a fast-paced environment and initially found it burdensome to research and complete high-quality stories in a relatively short amount of time, I also found it exciting. I enjoyed learning more about topics and events on campus that I did not know much about; some of my stories that I covered in my first semester concerned a chess tournament, a food drive, and a Spanish immersion party. I relished in the freedom I had to explore and learn, and to write more independently than I could in a classroom.

Although I enjoyed many aspects of working for the paper immediately, reporting also pushed me outside of my comfort zone. I am a shy person, and speaking with people I did not know intimidated me. During my first interview, I met with the basketball coach to prepare for a story about the team’s winning streak. As I approached his office, I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block, and I could hardly get out my opening questions. Fortunately, the coach was very kind and helped me through the conversation. Encouraged, I prepared for my next interview with more confidence. After a few weeks of practice, I even started to look forward to interviewing people on campus. That first journalism class may have bored me, but even if journalism in practice was challenging, it was anything but tedious.

Over the course of that year, I grew to love writing for our school newspaper. Reporting made me aware of my surroundings, and made me want to know more about current events on campus and in the town where I grew up. By interacting with people all over campus, I came to understand the breadth of individuals and communities that make up my high school. I felt far more connected to diverse parts of my school through my work as a journalist, and I realized that journalism gave me a window into seeing beyond my own experiences. The style of news writing may be different from what I used to think “writing” meant, but I learned that I can still derive exciting plots from events that may have gone unnoticed if not for my stories. I no longer struggle to approach others, and truly enjoy getting to know people and recognizing their accomplishments through my writing. Becoming a writer may be a difficult path, but it is as rewarding as I hoped when I was young.

This essay is clearly structured in a manner that makes it flow very nicely and contributes to its success. It starts with a quote to draw in the reader and show this student’s life-long passion for writing. Then it addresses the challenges of facing new, unfamiliar territory and how this student overcame it. Finally, it concludes by reflecting on this eye-opening experience and a nod to their younger self from the introduction. Having a well-thought out and sequential structure with clear transitions makes it extremely easy for the reader to follow along and take away the main idea.

Another positive aspect of the essay is the use of strong and expressive language. Sentences like “ When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines ” stand out because of the intentional use of words like “lyrical”, “profound”, and “thrilling” to convey the student’s love of writing. The author also uses an active voice to capture the readers’ attention and keep us engaged. They rely on their language and diction to reveal details to the reader, for instance saying “ I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block ” to describe feeling nervous.

This essay is already very strong, so there isn’t much that needs to be changed. One thing that could take the essay from great to outstanding would be to throw in more quotes, internal dialogue, and sensory descriptors.

It would be nice to see the nerves they felt interviewing the coach by including dialogue like “ Um…I want to interview you about…uh…”.  They could have shown their original distaste for journalism by narrating the thoughts running through their head. The fast-paced environment of their newspaper could have come to life with descriptions about the clacking of keyboards and the whirl of people running around laying out articles.

Essay Example #5: Starting a Fire

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

This student is an excellent writer, which allows a simple story to be outstandingly compelling. The author articulates her points beautifully and creatively through her immense use of details and figurative language. Lines like “a rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees,” and “rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers,” create vivid images that draw the reader in. 

The flowery and descriptive prose also contributes to the nice juxtaposition between the old Clara and the new Clara. The latter half of the essay contrasts elements of nature with music and writing to demonstrate how natural these interests are for her now. This sentence perfectly encapsulates the contrast she is trying to build: “It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive.”

In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction “Fire!” and ends with the following image: “When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.” This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.

There is very little this essay should change, however one thing to be cautious about is having an essay that is overly-descriptive. We know from the essay that this student likes to read and write, and depending on other elements of her application, it might make total sense to have such a flowery and ornate writing style. However, your personal statement needs to reflect your voice as well as your personality. If you would never use language like this in conversation or your writing, don’t put it in your personal statement. Make sure there is a balance between eloquence and your personal voice.

Essay Example #6: Dedicating a Track

“Getting beat is one thing – it’s part of competing – but I want no part in losing.” Coach Rob Stark’s motto never fails to remind me of his encouragement on early-morning bus rides to track meets around the state. I’ve always appreciated the phrase, but an experience last June helped me understand its more profound, universal meaning.

Stark, as we affectionately call him, has coached track at my high school for 25 years. His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running. When I learned a neighboring high school had dedicated their track to a longtime coach, I felt that Stark deserved similar honors.

Our school district’s board of education indicated they would only dedicate our track to Stark if I could demonstrate that he was extraordinary. I took charge and mobilized my teammates to distribute petitions, reach out to alumni, and compile statistics on the many team and individual champions Stark had coached over the years. We received astounding support, collecting almost 3,000 signatures and pages of endorsements from across the community. With help from my teammates, I presented this evidence to the board.

They didn’t bite. 

Most members argued that dedicating the track was a low priority. Knowing that we had to act quickly to convince them of its importance, I called a team meeting where we drafted a rebuttal for the next board meeting. To my surprise, they chose me to deliver it. I was far from the best public speaker in the group, and I felt nervous about going before the unsympathetic board again. However, at that second meeting, I discovered that I enjoy articulating and arguing for something that I’m passionate about.

Public speaking resembles a cross country race. Walking to the starting line, you have to trust your training and quell your last minute doubts. When the gun fires, you can’t think too hard about anything; your performance has to be instinctual, natural, even relaxed. At the next board meeting, the podium was my starting line. As I walked up to it, familiar butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Instead of the track stretching out in front of me, I faced the vast audience of teachers, board members, and my teammates. I felt my adrenaline build, and reassured myself: I’ve put in the work, my argument is powerful and sound. As the board president told me to introduce myself, I heard, “runners set” in the back of my mind. She finished speaking, and Bang! The brief silence was the gunshot for me to begin. 

The next few minutes blurred together, but when the dust settled, I knew from the board members’ expressions and the audience’s thunderous approval that I had run quite a race. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough; the board voted down our proposal. I was disappointed, but proud of myself, my team, and our collaboration off the track. We stood up for a cause we believed in, and I overcame my worries about being a leader. Although I discovered that changing the status quo through an elected body can be a painstakingly difficult process and requires perseverance, I learned that I enjoy the challenges this effort offers. Last month, one of the school board members joked that I had become a “regular” – I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Just as Stark taught me, I worked passionately to achieve my goal. I may have been beaten when I appealed to the board, but I certainly didn’t lose, and that would have made Stark proud.

This essay effectively conveys this student’s compassion for others, initiative, and determination—all great qualities to exemplify in a personal statement!

Although they rely on telling us a lot of what happened up until the board meeting, the use of running a race (their passion) as a metaphor for public speaking provides a lot of insight into the fear that this student overcame to work towards something bigger than themself. Comparing a podium to the starting line, the audience to the track, and silence to the gunshot is a nice way of demonstrating this student’s passion for cross country running without making that the focus of the story.

The essay does a nice job of coming full circle at the end by explaining what the quote from the beginning meant to them after this experience. Without explicitly saying “ I now know that what Stark actually meant is…” they rely on the strength of their argument above to make it obvious to the reader what it means to get beat but not lose. 

One of the biggest areas of improvement in the intro, however, is how the essay tells us Stark’s impact rather than showing us: His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

The writer could’ve helped us feel a stronger emotional connection to Stark if they had included examples of Stark’s qualities, rather than explicitly stating them. For example, they could’ve written something like: Stark was the kind of person who would give you gas money if you told him your parents couldn’t afford to pick you up from practice. And he actually did that—several times. At track meets, alumni regularly would come talk to him and tell him how he’d changed their lives. Before Stark, I was ambivalent about running and was on the JV team, but his encouragement motivated me to run longer and harder and eventually make varsity. Because of him, I approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

Essay Example #7: Body Image and Eating Disorders

I press the “discover” button on my Instagram app, hoping to find enticing pictures to satisfy my boredom. Scrolling through, I see funny videos and mouth-watering pictures of food. However, one image stops me immediately. A fit teenage girl with a “perfect body” relaxes in a bikini on a beach. Beneath it, I see a slew of flattering comments. I shake with disapproval over the image’s unrealistic quality. However, part of me still wants to have a body like hers so that others will make similar comments to me.

I would like to resolve a silent issue that harms many teenagers and adults: negative self image and low self-esteem in a world where social media shapes how people view each other. When people see the façades others wear to create an “ideal” image, they can develop poor thought patterns rooted in negative self-talk. The constant comparisons to “perfect” others make people feel small. In this new digital age, it is hard to distinguish authentic from artificial representations.

When I was 11, I developed anorexia nervosa. Though I was already thin, I wanted to be skinny like the models that I saw on the magazine covers on the grocery store stands. Little did I know that those models probably also suffered from disorders, and that photoshop erased their flaws. I preferred being underweight to being healthy. No matter how little I ate or how thin I was, I always thought that I was too fat. I became obsessed with the number on the scale and would try to eat the least that I could without my parents urging me to take more. Fortunately, I stopped engaging in anorexic behaviors before middle school. However, my underlying mental habits did not change. The images that had provoked my disorder in the first place were still a constant presence in my life.

By age 15, I was in recovery from anorexia, but suffered from depression. While I used to only compare myself to models, the growth of social media meant I also compared myself to my friends and acquaintances. I felt left out when I saw my friends’ excitement about lake trips they had taken without me. As I scrolled past endless photos of my flawless, thin classmates with hundreds of likes and affirming comments, I felt my jealousy spiral. I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.” When that didn’t work, I started to feel too anxious to post anything at all.  

Body image insecurities and social media comparisons affect thousands of people – men, women, children, and adults – every day. I am lucky – after a few months of my destructive social media habits, I came across a video that pointed out the illusory nature of social media; many Instagram posts only show off good things while people hide their flaws. I began going to therapy, and recovered from my depression. To address the problem of self-image and social media, we can all focus on what matters on the inside and not what is on the surface. As an effort to become healthy internally, I started a club at my school to promote clean eating and radiating beauty from within. It has helped me grow in my confidence, and today I’m not afraid to show others my struggles by sharing my experience with eating disorders. Someday, I hope to make this club a national organization to help teenagers and adults across the country. I support the idea of body positivity and embracing difference, not “perfection.” After all, how can we be ourselves if we all look the same?

This essay covers the difficult topics of eating disorders and mental health. If you’re thinking about covering similar topics in your essay, we recommend reading our post Should You Talk About Mental Health in College Essays?

The short answer is that, yes, you can talk about mental health, but it can be risky. If you do go that route, it’s important to focus on what you learned from the experience.

The strength of this essay is the student’s vulnerability, in excerpts such as this: I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.”

The student goes on to share how they recovered from their depression through an eye-opening video and therapy sessions, and they’re now helping others find their self-worth as well. It’s great that this essay looks towards the future and shares the writer’s goals of making their club a national organization; we can see their ambition and compassion.

The main weakness of this essay is that it doesn’t focus enough on their recovery process, which is arguably the most important part. They could’ve told us more about the video they watched or the process of starting their club and the interactions they’ve had with other members. Especially when sharing such a vulnerable topic, there should be vulnerability in the recovery process too. That way, the reader can fully appreciate all that this student has overcome.

Essay Example #8: Becoming a Coach

”Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay begins with an in-the-moment narrative that really illustrates the chaos of looking for a coach last-minute. We feel the writer’s emotions, particularly her dejectedness, at not being able to compete. Starting an essay in media res  is a great way to capture the attention of your readers and build anticipation for what comes next.

Through this essay, we can see how gutsy and determined the student is in deciding to become a coach themselves. She shows us these characteristics through their actions, rather than explicitly telling us: To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side.  Also, by discussing the opposition she faced and how it affected her, the student is open and vulnerable about the reality of the situation.

The essay comes full circle as the author recalls the frantic situations in seeking out a coach, but this is no longer a concern for them and their team. Overall, this essay is extremely effective in painting this student as mature, bold, and compassionate.

The biggest thing this essay needs to work on is showing not telling. Throughout the essay, the student tells us that she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence,” she “grew unsure of her own abilities,” and she “refused to give up”. What we really want to know is what this looks like.

Instead of saying she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence” she should have shared how she taught a new move to a fellow team-member without hesitation. Rather than telling us she “grew unsure of her own abilities” she should have shown what that looked like by including her internal dialogue and rhetorical questions that ran through her mind. She could have demonstrated what “refusing to give up” looks like by explaining how she kept learning coaching techniques on her own, turned to a mentor for advice, or devised a plan to win over the trust of parents. 

Essay Example #9: Eritrea

No one knows where Eritrea is.

On the first day of school, for the past nine years, I would pensively stand in front of a class, a teacher, a stranger  waiting for the inevitable question: Where are you from?

I smile politely, my dimples accentuating my ambiguous features. “Eritrea,” I answer promptly and proudly. But I  am always prepared. Before their expression can deepen into confusion, ready to ask “where is that,” I elaborate,  perhaps with a fleeting hint of exasperation, “East Africa, near Ethiopia.”

Sometimes, I single out the key-shaped hermit nation on a map, stunning teachers who have “never had a student  from there!” Grinning, I resist the urge to remark, “You didn’t even know it existed until two minutes ago!”

Eritrea is to the East of Ethiopia, its arid coastline clutches the lucrative Red Sea. Battle scars litter the ancient  streets – the colonial Italian architecture lathered with bullet holes, the mosques mangled with mortar shells.  Originally part of the world’s first Christian kingdom, Eritrea passed through the hands of colonial Italy, Britain, and  Ethiopia for over a century, until a bloody thirty year war of Independence liberated us.

But these are facts that anyone can know with a quick Google search. These are facts that I have memorised and compounded, first from my Grandmother and now from pristine books  borrowed from the library.

No historical narrative, however, can adequately capture what Eritrea is.  No one knows the aroma of bushels of potatoes, tomatoes, and garlic – still covered in dirt – that leads you to the open-air market. No one knows the poignant scent of spices, arranged in orange piles reminiscent of compacted  dunes.  No one knows how to haggle stubborn herders for sheep and roosters for Christmas celebrations as deliberately as my mother. No one can replicate the perfect balance of spices in dorho and tsebhi as well as my grandmother,  her gnarly hands stirring the pot with ancient precision (chastising my clumsy knife work with the potatoes).  It’s impossible to learn when the injera is ready – the exact moment you have to lift the lid of the mogogo. Do it too  early (or too late) and the flatbread becomes mangled and gross. It is a sixth sense passed through matriarchal  lineages.

There are no sources that catalogue the scent of incense that wafts through the sunlit porch on St. Michael’s; no  films that can capture the luminescence of hundreds of flaming bonfires that fluoresce the sidewalks on Kudus  Yohannes, as excited children chant Ge’ez proverbs whose origin has been lost to time.  You cannot learn the familiarity of walking beneath the towering Gothic figure of the Enda Mariam Cathedral, the  crowds undulating to the ringing of the archaic bells.  I have memorized the sound of the rains hounding the metal roof during kiremti , the heat of the sun pounding  against the Toyota’s window as we sped down towards Ghinda , the opulent brilliance of the stars twinkling in a  sky untainted by light pollution, the scent of warm rolls of bani wafting through the streets at precisely 6 o’clock each day…

I fill my flimsy sketchbook with pictures from my memory. My hand remembers the shapes of the hibiscus drifting  in the wind, the outline of my grandmother (affectionately nicknamed a’abaye ) leaning over the garden, the bizarre architecture of the Fiat Tagliero .  I dice the vegetables with movements handed down from generations. My nose remembers the scent of frying garlic, the sourness of the warm tayta , the sharpness of the mit’mt’a …

This knowledge is intrinsic.  “I am Eritrean,” I repeat. “I am proud.”  Within me is an encyclopedia of history, culture, and idealism.

Eritrea is the coffee made from scratch, the spices drying in the sun, the priests and nuns. Eritrea is wise, filled with ambition, and unseen potential.  Eritrea isn’t a place, it’s an identity.

This is an exceptional essay that provides a window into this student’s culture that really makes their love for their country and heritage leap off the page. The sheer level of details and sensory descriptors this student is able to fit in this space makes the essay stand out. From the smells, to the traditions, sounds, and sights, the author encapsulates all the glory of Eritrea for the reader. 

The vivid images this student is able to create for the reader, whether it is having the tedious conversation with every teacher or cooking in their grandmother’s kitchen, transports us into the story and makes us feel like we are there in the moment with the student. This is a prime example of an essay that shows , not tells.

Besides the amazing imagery, the use of shorter paragraphs also contributes to how engaging this essay is. Employing this tactic helps break up the text to make it more readable and it isolates ideas so they stick out more than if they were enveloped in a large paragraph.

Overall, this is a really strong essay that brings to life this student’s heritage through its use of vivid imagery. This essay exemplifies what it means to show not tell in your writing, and it is a great example of how you can write an intimate personal statement without making yourself the primary focus of your essay. 

There is very little this essay should improve upon, but one thing the student might consider would be to inject more personal reflection into their response. Although we can clearly take away their deep love and passion for their homeland and culture, the essay would be a bit more personal if they included the emotions and feelings they associate with the various aspects of Eritrea. For example, the way their heart swells with pride when their grandmother praises their ability to cook a flatbread or the feeling of serenity when they hear the bells ring out from the cathedral. Including personal details as well as sensory ones would create a wonderful balance of imagery and reflection.

Essay Example #10: Journaling

Flipping past dozens of colorful entries in my journal, I arrive at the final blank sheet. I press my pen lightly to the page, barely scratching its surface to create a series of loops stringing together into sentences. Emotions spill out, and with their release, I feel lightness in my chest. The stream of thoughts slows as I reach the bottom of the page, and I gently close the cover of the worn book: another journal finished.

I add the journal to the stack of eleven books on my nightstand. Struck by the bittersweet sensation of closing a chapter of my life, I grab the notebook at the bottom of the pile to reminisce.

“I want to make a flying mushen to fly in space and your in it” – October 2008

Pulling back the cover of my first Tinkerbell-themed diary, the prompt “My Hopes and Dreams” captures my attention. Though “machine” is misspelled in my scribbled response, I see the beginnings of my past obsession with outer space. At the age of five, I tore through novels about the solar system, experimented with rockets built from plastic straws, and rented Space Shuttle films from Blockbuster to satisfy my curiosities. While I chased down answers to questions as limitless as the universe, I fell in love with learning. Eight journals later, the same relentless curiosity brought me to an airplane descending on San Francisco Bay.

“I wish I had infinite sunsets” – July 2019

I reach for the charcoal notepad near the top of the pile and open to the first page: my flight to the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes. While I was excited to explore bioengineering, anxiety twisted in my stomach as I imagined my destination, unsure of whether I could overcome my shyness and connect with others.

With each new conversation, the sweat on my palms became less noticeable, and I met students from 23 different countries. Many of the moments where I challenged myself socially revolved around the third story deck of the Jerry house. A strange medley of English, Arabic, and Mandarin filled the summer air as my friends and I gathered there every evening, and dialogues at sunset soon became moments of bliss. In our conversations about cultural differences, the possibility of an afterlife, and the plausibility of far-fetched conspiracy theories, I learned to voice my opinion. As I was introduced to different viewpoints, these moments challenged my understanding of the world around me. In my final entries from California, I find excitement to learn from others and increased confidence, a tool that would later allow me to impact my community.

“The beauty in a tower of cans” – June 2020

Returning my gaze to the stack of journals, I stretch to take the floral-patterned book sitting on top. I flip through, eventually finding the beginnings of the organization I created during the outbreak of COVID-19. Since then, Door-to-Door Deliveries has woven its way through my entries and into reality, allowing me to aid high-risk populations through free grocery delivery.

With the confidence I gained the summer before, I took action when seeing others in need rather than letting my shyness hold me back. I reached out to local churches and senior centers to spread word of our services and interacted with customers through our website and social media pages. To further expand our impact, we held two food drives, and I mustered the courage to ask for donations door-to-door. In a tower of canned donations, I saw the value of reaching out to help others and realized my own potential to impact the world around me.

I delicately close the journal in my hands, smiling softly as the memories reappear, one after another. Reaching under my bed, I pull out a fresh notebook and open to its first sheet. I lightly press my pen to the page, “And so begins the next chapter…”

The structuring of this essay makes it easy and enjoyable to read. The student effectively organizes their various life experiences around their tower of journals, which centers the reader and makes the different stories easy to follow. Additionally, the student engages quotes from their journals—and unique formatting of the quotes—to signal that they are moving in time and show us which memory we should follow them to.

Thematically, the student uses the idea of shyness to connect the different memories they draw out of their journals. As the student describes their experiences overcoming shyness at the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes and Door-to-Door Deliveries, this essay can be read as an Overcoming Obstacles essay.

At the end of this essay, readers are fully convinced that this student is dedicated (they have committed to journaling every day), thoughtful (journaling is a thoughtful process and, in the essay, the student reflects thoughtfully on the past), and motivated (they flew across the country for a summer program and started a business). These are definitely qualities admissions officers are looking for in applicants!

Although this essay is already exceptionally strong as it’s written, the first journal entry feels out of place compared to the other two entries that discuss the author’s shyness and determination. It works well for the essay to have an entry from when the student was younger to add some humor (with misspelled words) and nostalgia, but if the student had either connected the quote they chose to the idea of overcoming a fear present in the other two anecdotes or if they had picked a different quote all together related to their shyness, it would have made the entire essay feel more cohesive.

Where to Get Your Personal Statement Edited

Do you want feedback on your personal statement? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

Next Step: Supplemental Essays

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Study Abroad Guide

Writing a Personal Statement for Studying Abroad

August 2017

If you're planning on a study abroad program at an undergraduate or post graduate level, you will be required to write a statement of purpose. Personal statements are one of the most crucial parts of your study abroad application; it demonstrates your ability to effectively write and communicate in English and plays a significant role in the admissions decision making process. When writing your personal statement, it is extremely important that you do not include anything that isn't true, rather discuss what is important to you and the ambitions that you have. Remember this is your chance to stand out from the other applicants. Every admissions office will have certain instructions when it comes to writing one, however, before you begin, it is important to note what these instructions are. Mentioned below are some important points to keep in mind when drafting an essay.

Take Your Time.

When writing your personal statement, ensure that you take your time. Create a draft of what you wish to include, this will help you organize your thoughts. Rushing the process can lead to errors, your best ideas will come to you with time.

While writing, be sure to structure your paragraphs. Writing your personal statement in paragraph form makes it more readable. The strategy here is to have a powerful introduction so the reviewers take notice. The admissions committee want to hear your story and this is your chance to make it a compelling one. Your goal here is to make yourself memorable.

Focus On Your Strengths.

When drafting your statement of purpose, focus on your strengths. In addition to writing about your passions, you can also discuss how past experiences have helped you grow into the person you are today. Be sure to also include why you should be accepted and what you will bring to the program. Your positive attitude will be highly regarded by the university admissions.

Mention What You've Done Outside The Classroom.

Write about any extracurricular activities you may have actively been involved in. For eg, be sure to include any volunteer work or work experience in your statement. This shows how relevant your experiences are to the ambitions you now have.

Plagiarism- Don't do it.

Your personal statement should contain your own work, this means you should not under any circumstances copy material from other sources. Passing off someone else's work as your own is plagiarism and your application can get rejected.

Proof Read.

It is very important that you set aside time to proof read your essay before you submit it. This way you can check for any grammatical errors you may have made while writing. You can also have your friends and family read it; they will be able to provide you with some valuable feedback.

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Personal statement for exchange program [closed]

I'll apply for exchange program and i need write reasons for applying and I'm not native speaker. So I would like as that is there any mistake in my personal statement or is it understandable?

"My main reason for participating in a student exchange is to experience my profession and to upgrade my skills by using maximum opportunities within different distant education. Since METU listed among the top 200 universities in Engineering and Technology, it will help me to expand my knowledge in IT field. Also I would like to get familiar with world education system and gain life experience."

• meaning-in-context
• Welcome to EL&U. We are neither a proofreading service nor a writers workshop, though we can help you work through specific points of grammar or usage that confuse you. Please take the site tour and review the help center for additional guidance on how to use this site. –  choster Commented Oct 1, 2015 at 2:57

I would change it to this:

"My main reason for participating in a student exchange program is to have an experience that would be a huge aid towards my profession. Also, I believe a student exchange program could upgrade my skills through the many opportunities that would be provided. Since METU is listed among the top 200 universities in Engineering and Technology, it will help me to expand my knowledge in the IT field. Moreover, I would like to acquire more information about the different world education systems. Lastly, this student exchange program will allow me to gain experience in life and play a crucial role in improving the person in which I have become."

This is just to my taste. I'm not sure what you meant by "by using maximum opportunities within different distant education," but hopefully, I got the idea!! :D

• Proofreading is off-topic for EL&U. –  Drew Commented Sep 30, 2015 at 17:26
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• How to Write Your Personal Statement | Strategies & Examples

How to Write Your Personal Statement | Strategies & Examples

Published on February 12, 2019 by Shona McCombes . Revised on July 3, 2023.

A personal statement is a short essay of around 500–1,000 words, in which you tell a compelling story about who you are, what drives you, and why you’re applying.

To write a successful personal statement for a graduate school application , don’t just summarize your experience; instead, craft a focused narrative in your own voice. Aim to demonstrate three things:

• Your personality: what are your interests, values, and motivations?
• Your talents: what can you bring to the program?
• Your goals: what do you hope the program will do for you?

This article guides you through some winning strategies to build a strong, well-structured personal statement for a master’s or PhD application. You can download the full examples below.

Urban Planning Psychology History

Table of contents

Getting started with your personal statement, the introduction: start with an attention-grabbing opening, the main body: craft your narrative, the conclusion: look ahead, revising, editing, and proofreading your personal statement, frequently asked questions, other interesting articles.

Before you start writing, the first step is to understand exactly what’s expected of you. If the application gives you a question or prompt for your personal statement, the most important thing is to respond to it directly.

For example, you might be asked to focus on the development of your personal identity; challenges you have faced in your life; or your career motivations. This will shape your focus and emphasis—but you still need to find your own unique approach to answering it.

There’s no universal template for a personal statement; it’s your chance to be creative and let your own voice shine through. But there are strategies you can use to build a compelling, well-structured story.

The first paragraph of your personal statement should set the tone and lead smoothly into the story you want to tell.

Strategy 1: Open with a concrete scene

An effective way to catch the reader’s attention is to set up a scene that illustrates something about your character and interests. If you’re stuck, try thinking about:

• A personal experience that changed your perspective
• A story from your family’s history
• A memorable teacher or learning experience
• An unusual or unexpected encounter

To write an effective scene, try to go beyond straightforward description; start with an intriguing sentence that pulls the reader in, and give concrete details to create a convincing atmosphere.

Strategy 2: Open with your motivations

To emphasize your enthusiasm and commitment, you can start by explaining your interest in the subject you want to study or the career path you want to follow.

Just stating that it interests you isn’t enough: first, you need to figure out why you’re interested in this field:

• Is it a longstanding passion or a recent discovery?
• Does it come naturally or have you had to work hard at it?
• How does it fit into the rest of your life?
• What do you think it contributes to society?

Tips for the introduction

• Don’t start on a cliche: avoid phrases like “Ever since I was a child…” or “For as long as I can remember…”
• Do save the introduction for last. If you’re struggling to come up with a strong opening, leave it aside, and note down any interesting ideas that occur to you as you write the rest of the personal statement.

Once you’ve set up the main themes of your personal statement, you’ll delve into more detail about your experiences and motivations.

To structure the body of your personal statement, there are various strategies you can use.

Strategy 1: Describe your development over time

One of the simplest strategies is to give a chronological overview of key experiences that have led you to apply for graduate school.

• What first sparked your interest in the field?
• Which classes, assignments, classmates, internships, or other activities helped you develop your knowledge and skills?
• Where do you want to go next? How does this program fit into your future plans?

Don’t try to include absolutely everything you’ve done—pick out highlights that are relevant to your application. Aim to craft a compelling narrative that shows how you’ve changed and actively developed yourself.

My interest in psychology was first sparked early in my high school career. Though somewhat scientifically inclined, I found that what interested me most was not the equations we learned about in physics and chemistry, but the motivations and perceptions of my fellow students, and the subtle social dynamics that I observed inside and outside the classroom. I wanted to learn how our identities, beliefs, and behaviours are shaped through our interactions with others, so I decided to major in Social Psychology. My undergraduate studies deepened my understanding of, and fascination with, the interplay between an individual mind and its social context.During my studies, I acquired a solid foundation of knowledge about concepts like social influence and group dynamics, but I also took classes on various topics not strictly related to my major. I was particularly interested in how other fields intersect with psychology—the classes I took on media studies, biology, and literature all enhanced my understanding of psychological concepts by providing different lenses through which to look at the issues involved.

Strategy 2: Own your challenges and obstacles

If your path to graduate school hasn’t been easy or straightforward, you can turn this into a strength, and structure your personal statement as a story of overcoming obstacles.

• Is your social, cultural or economic background underrepresented in the field? Show how your experiences will contribute a unique perspective.
• Do you have gaps in your resume or lower-than-ideal grades? Explain the challenges you faced and how you dealt with them.

Don’t focus too heavily on negatives, but use them to highlight your positive qualities. Resilience, resourcefulness and perseverance make you a promising graduate school candidate.

Growing up working class, urban decay becomes depressingly familiar. The sight of a row of abandoned houses does not surprise me, but it continues to bother me. Since high school, I have been determined to pursue a career in urban planning. While people of my background experience the consequences of urban planning decisions first-hand, we are underrepresented in the field itself. Ironically, given my motivation, my economic background has made my studies challenging. I was fortunate enough to be awarded a scholarship for my undergraduate studies, but after graduation I took jobs in unrelated fields to help support my parents. In the three years since, I have not lost my ambition. Now I am keen to resume my studies, and I believe I can bring an invaluable perspective to the table: that of the people most impacted by the decisions of urban planners.

Strategy 3: Demonstrate your knowledge of the field

Especially if you’re applying for a PhD or another research-focused program, it’s a good idea to show your familiarity with the subject and the department. Your personal statement can focus on the area you want to specialize in and reflect on why it matters to you.

• Reflect on the topics or themes that you’ve focused on in your studies. What draws you to them?
• Discuss any academic achievements, influential teachers, or other highlights of your education.
• Talk about the questions you’d like to explore in your research and why you think they’re important.

The personal statement isn’t a research proposal , so don’t go overboard on detail—but it’s a great opportunity to show your enthusiasm for the field and your capacity for original thinking.

In applying for this research program, my intention is to build on the multidisciplinary approach I have taken in my studies so far, combining knowledge from disparate fields of study to better understand psychological concepts and issues. The Media Psychology program stands out to me as the perfect environment for this kind of research, given its researchers’ openness to collaboration across diverse fields. I am impressed by the department’s innovative interdisciplinary projects that focus on the shifting landscape of media and technology, and I hope that my own work can follow a similarly trailblazing approach. More specifically, I want to develop my understanding of the intersection of psychology and media studies, and explore how media psychology theories and methods might be applied to neurodivergent minds. I am interested not only in media psychology but also in psychological disorders, and how the two interact. This is something I touched on during my undergraduate studies and that I’m excited to delve into further.

Strategy 4: Discuss your professional ambitions

Especially if you’re applying for a more professionally-oriented program (such as an MBA), it’s a good idea to focus on concrete goals and how the program will help you achieve them.

• If your career is just getting started, show how your character is suited to the field, and explain how graduate school will help you develop your talents.
• If you have already worked in the profession, show what you’ve achieved so far, and explain how the program will allow you to take the next step.
• If you are planning a career change, explain what has driven this decision and how your existing experience will help you succeed.

Don’t just state the position you want to achieve. You should demonstrate that you’ve put plenty of thought into your career plans and show why you’re well-suited to this profession.

One thing that fascinated me about the field during my undergraduate studies was the sheer number of different elements whose interactions constitute a person’s experience of an urban environment. Any number of factors could transform the scene I described at the beginning: What if there were no bus route? Better community outreach in the neighborhood? Worse law enforcement? More or fewer jobs available in the area? Some of these factors are out of the hands of an urban planner, but without taking them all into consideration, the planner has an incomplete picture of their task. Through further study I hope to develop my understanding of how these disparate elements combine and interact to create the urban environment. I am interested in the social, psychological and political effects our surroundings have on our lives. My studies will allow me to work on projects directly affecting the kinds of working-class urban communities I know well. I believe I can bring my own experiences, as well as my education, to bear upon the problem of improving infrastructure and quality of life in these communities.

Tips for the main body

• Don’t rehash your resume by trying to summarize everything you’ve done so far; the personal statement isn’t about listing your academic or professional experience, but about reflecting, evaluating, and relating it to broader themes.
• Do make your statements into stories: Instead of saying you’re hard-working and self-motivated, write about your internship where you took the initiative to start a new project. Instead of saying you’ve always loved reading, reflect on a novel or poem that changed your perspective.

Your conclusion should bring the focus back to the program and what you hope to get out of it, whether that’s developing practical skills, exploring intellectual questions, or both.

Emphasize the fit with your specific interests, showing why this program would be the best way to achieve your aims.

Strategy 1: What do you want to know?

If you’re applying for a more academic or research-focused program, end on a note of curiosity: what do you hope to learn, and why do you think this is the best place to learn it?

If there are specific classes or faculty members that you’re excited to learn from, this is the place to express your enthusiasm.

Strategy 2: What do you want to do?

If you’re applying for a program that focuses more on professional training, your conclusion can look to your career aspirations: what role do you want to play in society, and why is this program the best choice to help you get there?

Tips for the conclusion

• Don’t summarize what you’ve already said. You have limited space in a personal statement, so use it wisely!
• Do think bigger than yourself: try to express how your individual aspirations relate to your local community, your academic field, or society more broadly. It’s not just about what you’ll get out of graduate school, but about what you’ll be able to give back.

You’ll be expected to do a lot of writing in graduate school, so make a good first impression: leave yourself plenty of time to revise and polish the text.

Your style doesn’t have to be as formal as other kinds of academic writing, but it should be clear, direct and coherent. Make sure that each paragraph flows smoothly from the last, using topic sentences and transitions to create clear connections between each part.

Don’t be afraid to rewrite and restructure as much as necessary. Since you have a lot of freedom in the structure of a personal statement, you can experiment and move information around to see what works best.

Finally, it’s essential to carefully proofread your personal statement and fix any language errors. Before you submit your application, consider investing in professional personal statement editing . For $150, you have the peace of mind that your personal statement is grammatically correct, strong in term of your arguments, and free of awkward mistakes.

A statement of purpose is usually more formal, focusing on your academic or professional goals. It shouldn’t include anything that isn’t directly relevant to the application.

A personal statement can often be more creative. It might tell a story that isn’t directly related to the application, but that shows something about your personality, values, and motivations.

However, both types of document have the same overall goal: to demonstrate your potential as a graduate student and s how why you’re a great match for the program.

The typical length of a personal statement for graduate school applications is between 500 and 1,000 words.

Different programs have different requirements, so always check if there’s a minimum or maximum length and stick to the guidelines. If there is no recommended word count, aim for no more than 1-2 pages.

If you’re applying to multiple graduate school programs, you should tailor your personal statement to each application.

Some applications provide a prompt or question. In this case, you might have to write a new personal statement from scratch: the most important task is to respond to what you have been asked.

If there’s no prompt or guidelines, you can re-use the same idea for your personal statement – but change the details wherever relevant, making sure to emphasize why you’re applying to this specific program.

If the application also includes other essays, such as a statement of purpose , you might have to revise your personal statement to avoid repeating the same information.

If you want to know more about college essays , academic writing , and AI tools , make sure to check out some of our other language articles with explanations, examples, and quizzes.

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Study Abroad @ FASS

Cultural exchanges and academic experience where fass students can learn about the overseas opportunities that fass offers, how to improve your chances to be successful in your exchange application.

As I waded through the application materials of students (btw, I received 206 applications this round and for round 1, I received 376 applications), these is what I observed that made the difference between a successful application and one that is not.

1. Incomplete study plan

Some students did not fill in their study plan in OPAS which made it difficult to evaluate if they had in fact did their research on the various universities that they have listed as their choices. This comes under the category of incomplete application and hence would mean that the application will be rejected. One of the major reasons that students withdraw from their exchange is that they could not find suitable modules to read at their chosen partner university.

2. Incomplete financial information

In OPAS, there is a section for financial information if students do not have a scholarship. Many students failed to indicate how they intend to finance their exchange; how much money they set aside, what is sponsoring their exchange for example parents, relatives, siblings etc , household income and the number of people in their household. Without this information, it is often impossible to evaluate if students have the means to support themselves while on exchange and this may result in their applications being unsuccessful. The largest reason that students withdraw from their exchange is a financial one.

3. No letter of undertaking to pursue Honours or otherwise invalid letter

There are 2 aspects to this required document. Firstly students failed to submit this document even though they asked to be on exchange in their possible graduating semester. The key here is to ask yourself; if I am doing a B.A., is the semester I intend to head for exchange my last semester? When in doubt, submit one anyway, better be safe than sorry. As an aside, for obvious reason, 8th semester is the graduating semester for BA Honours so that semester is definitely not allowed for exchange.

Secondly, starting from 07 cohort, students must meet a minimum CAP of 3.5 in order to qualify for Honours studies. Therefore before you write such a letter of undertaking, your current CAP must already be 3.5 and above. Otherwise, your letter will not be valid as you are making an undertaking that you cannot honour as you lack the required minimum CAP. This is pretty much a given. I can only work with your current CAP and will not be able to take your future CAP into account.

4. Poor personal statement

A good personal statement is one that explains quite clearly why you want to head for exchange, in concrete ways how you can be a good NUS ambassador; the reasons why you pick the universities that you did and how your experience can benefit your fellow schoolmates and NUS and how you can contribute to FASS after your return. Some statements that I received were paltry 3 lines affairs which I feel were not indicative of any thought or effort on the part of the students.

5. Meeting the deadlines for SEP application

As with standard practice for the last few years, the announcement for SEP application was sent via email to all eligible students ( year 1 to 3). There were bounced back emails which were undeliverable. Therefore we advise students to always keep their inbox free so as not to miss important emails as bounced emails will not be re-sent.

Also, the deadline for the application was stated clearly in the email and students were given a month to complete the application. In order not to miss the deadline, we encourage students not to wait till the last few days to apply so that your application will be properly captured in OPAS. One benefit of submitting early application is that you will still have sufficient time to make changes or ask questions about your application. As we do not work on Saturday or Sunday, if you wait till the last day to make queries, there will be no one around to answer your query or re-enable your previous application in OPAS (that you had submittd for round 1) as some students found out to their detriment.  

Please note that the deadline stated in the email is definitive and will supercede any other information offered at an earlier date. In the future, the opening of SEP application will also be posted on this blog as with the last application cycle.

6. Reading and following instructions

Much of of what I had stated before is a direct consequence of not reading or following instructions that were given to students. As an example, for year 1 students applying in round 2, I had clearly stated that if you have yet to declare a major in CORS or GAPS, to please write to your desired major departments to let them know that you are applying for exchange; there were quite a few students who failed to do so and was thus rejected by the Departments. Similarly, I had also asked for complete study plan, letter of undertaking etc; but students still missed them out.

7. Average CAP

This is a little statistic that I have gleaned from the last few rounds of applications.  The proportion of students who applied for exchange with CAP of 3.5 and above ranges from 75 to 78%. This means that there is a large number of students with reasonable good CAP vying for exchange places. It also implies that students with CAPs that are less than the average stands a lower chance of getting a place on exchange. Therefore I want to encourage students to work harder and improve your CAP as much as you can before you apply for exchange.

As you have seen, the Dean’s Office received a massive amount of applications each year for exchange and there are a lot of people at the Departments who spent time on evaluating your applications and then Ms Ruby and I in turn will work on the selection and collection process and colleagues at the Registrar’s Office also put in a lot of effort in finalising the process and then the documents are sent to partner universities where our counterparts work on getting the acceptance documents to you to close the exchange processing loop.

In order not to disappoint students, I have asked students for their missing documents and information even though I had stated clearly that incomplete applications means that they will not be considered. But this is a time-consuming task that I hope to eliminate for future applications.

Therefore, please respect the process and the adminstrative time and effort that goes into the student exchange application and we will appreciate it that you follow instructions properly and to give your application the required effort and attention that it deserves so that you can increase your chances of being successful in your application. 

I hope that this little post will help you in your next SEP application.

4 thoughts on “ How to improve your chances to be successful in your exchange application? ”

thanks for asking for the missing documents which i had missed out. i really appreciate yours and the efforts of your colleagues in emailing and clarifying with us the missing documents which some of us had inadvertently omitted. my application would not have been successful without this gesture!

I would like to thank the people behind the admission. For taking time to emailing me what documents I missed and need to redo and resend. Also for clarifying with me some important matters. Now, I am successfully working with a logistics company and I owed some of this to you guys. Also to the writer of this post. Though I have had problems encountered already but this will help new applicants in the future. Good Luck!

Pingback: Reflections on Round 1 SEP Applications for AY 2011/12 Received | Study Abroad @ FASS

No, the round is over.

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An Erasmus personal statement is one of the most important document to send to the admission center of Erasmus program if you want to be selected among the many people who want to study abroad. This personal statement will define the outcome of your efforts in becoming the next student to go study abroad, as it works more like an exchange student personal statement. It’s not only important for exchange education but it’s also one of the main MBA abroad requirements. However, going abroad to study is not something easy to do. The most famous international exchange programs in the world will not only ask for an exchange student personal statement or Hult international business school personal statement  but for much more.

So, if you want to know the different important details necessary to apply for an exchange student to Europe or any other continent, you will need to be totally clear in what’s expected. That’s why we have assembled an article with the most important information on how to apply for exchange student and how to write an Erasmus personal statement correctly. Take a look further to find out more!

Benefits of Studying Abroad

The experience of studying abroad is just wonderful, as it offers one of the greatest tool of education that is pure practical experience and different backgrounds from people to learn from. The exchange experience is just intertwined of plenty of features that can be put together in order to achieve great results.

However, the main benefits can be separated in educational, personal and long-term benefits.

Learning in different parts of the world will give students a different approach when it comes to cultural acceptance and perspectives for the outer world that will give a wonderful and most profound understanding of the world.

This also helps in learning new languages and immersing in new ways of learning as it gives the necessary skills for being a more opened person. Even so, it can also help the student to achieve better analytical skills and problem-solving abilities due to the differences experiences the students will be subjected to. Moreover, general knowledge and a broader and more interested understanding of world problems will be achieved thanks to the experience of studying abroad.

When it comes to the personal benefits of studying abroad, these are totally immense to a person. Studying abroad will give multiple personal and social skills to students, especially when it comes to learning to talk to people with different backgrounds.

Also, it will be one wonderful for development in many ways, increasing confidence, self-esteem and helping the student to get out of their comfort zone by increasing their likeness of affronting challenges with more decisive force and fewer doubts.

Plus, an increasing sense of accomplishment and success is felt when the student ends his career, giving more courage to students to develop important self-opinions that also give new goals and eventually help them at taking better life decisions.

The most important benefits at long-term gaining from studying abroad come from being able to live and discover new cultures. This gives students a new perspective on life, plus giving a sensation of comfortability independently of the context the person is going to end up at. This gives a better and more focused mindset to long-term goals, making it easier to make positive decisions in life.

Also, studying abroad gives students a more developed tool of communication that they can use to relate and influence others. With the experience of living abroad, students are more likely to learn things that were totally unknown to them when they were in their native country.

Most Popular International Student Exchange Programs

Among the most popular international student exchange programs we can name a few that have a made a big impact in the world. These are:

Youth for Understanding or YFU as it is also known is a life-changing exchange program that offers the opportunity to study abroad to teen from 15 to 18 years old in a year or less. This opportunity offers students to go to countries like Australia, Belgium, Argentina, Brazil, Chile, Belgium, China, and the other 35 countries around the world. Even so, this program doesn’t demand the students to know the language beforehand, as it offers a wonderful academic experience for those who want to learn the language and look for a specialty in the fields of sports, nature, theater or science.

CIEE is a wonderful exchange program that has been working since 1947 offering different opportunities to many students around the world to go study abroad and widen their life experiences. This program works in 11 countries like Germany, France, Ireland, Chile, New Zealand, Spain, and Japan.

This wonderful program also offers the opportunity to have language orientation and help for those who need some in order to avoid emergencies. It is one of the best for the wonderful support the organizers offer to the exchanged students when it comes to eventual happenings.

The Experiment International Living or EIL is one of the greatest international student exchange programs because of the wonderful academic and themed experiences that are not met by any other program in the world. Therefore, students that are chosen to participate in this program tend to go to different places around the world to learn about specific things that are focused on the culture of that country their visiting, making it a more immersive and learning experience that no other program in the world can offer.

The Erasmus Mundus exchange program offers the opportunity to apply for an exchange student program in Europe and partner countries. It is specially designed for students of highest academic achievements, like BAs, MAs, PhDs and even MBAs who want to study abroad and widen their possibilities.

This program also offers a grant, improving the experience for every student who chooses Erasmus and broadening the knowledge and skills of the student.

This list of top student exchange programs in the world was created by ESL – Languages Studies Abroad .

Image credit: Best Colleges Online

What Is Erasmus Mundus Exactly

Erasmus Mundus admission is a program that offers one of the best international exchange programs for students around the world to Europe or within Europe. This program offers an almost free abroad study, where the program takes care of half of the costs for staying abroad. However, there are some tuition fees that have to be paid before being sent to the program, these fees are paid by the home university.

This program is an approach from the EU that offers the opportunity for students of all Europe countries to go study in other countries as an exchange in a way that no other program in the world offers.

Take a look at this video from Stefan Jahnke, President of the Erasmus Student Network, where he talks about the program and how it changed his life.

Image credit: European Commission

Advantages of the Erasmus Mundus Program

One of the best benefits of studying abroad in a number of courses the student can take on another country. This is a basic right for all students who apply for exchange student abroad and gets selected among the luckiest ones. The host universities tend to have a Learning Agreement that has all legal documentation about the courses and academic activities the student was involved in.

Another benefit is the opportunity to learn more from another culture, giving a new social perspective and a new world vision. Also, the student is very likely to learn a new language or improve his knowledge on a second one. However, Erasmus offers a wonderful Online Linguistic Support for those students who don’t know the language of the country they were exchanged with and need some help.

Top Reasons to Become an Exchange Student

Becoming an exchange student in the different International Exchange programs available in the world is not an easy task. However, many people tend to prefer this way of learning as it offers one of the best experiences a student can get in order to become a more professional person when it comes to academic life. Even so, different programs around the world are totally different from others, like the Erasmus Mundus admission which offers the opportunity to travel into a Europe country to study.

These top reasons are:

Exchanging students tend to get more knowledge from traveling to another country to study than studying in their own country. This happens because students are more likely to open their eyes, giving a once-in-a-lifetime experience that not many people are lucky to experience.

Most students who travel abroad to study tend to go prefer countries which the main language in English, like the UK and US. However, there are many other opportunities for those who want a wider experience, offering the opportunity to learn new languages in order to achieve a second language and be later called a bilingual.

Even so, learning a new language can also improve the way people think and behave. This can totally affect the way a person starts to feel about himself, changing their behavior, confidence and even improving their social skills with practice with people from another country, where the student will have to communicate more in order to get things done.

By going to study abroad, a person can develop new skills and learn things about a different culture. This also offers the opportunity of widening the knowledge on a certain field, especially if the student wants to go abroad as a professional. Even so, studying in a different country gives the student more opportunities when it comes to getting a job, as people tend to find abroad studies totally interesting, especially when they are specializations in a specific field.

Yes, studying abroad can seem really expensive, but it is actually really affordable. Even so, many programs around the world offer abroad studies for a really wonderful price, making it totally worth it experience for students who want to widen their knowledge and possibilities.

Moreover, being sent to another country as an exchange student demands of a monthly payment to the home university. This payment will be taken as a tuition fee by the student in order to help him live in another country without having to work if not necessary.

Learn more about the opportunities and benefits from studying in a foreign country by visiting the AFS – Intercultural Programs website.

Source: smart.study

Requirements to Apply for Exchange Student Program

• A full-term attendance or degree in High School or a University with ties to the selected exchange program.
• A cumulative GPA of 2.5 at least. (A student with a GPA below 2.5 may get canceled for not meeting the requirement).
• Perfect copies of all grades from previous terms.
• An above-average academic standing.
• More than 1 year of studies in the home institution.
• Competent grades.
• No pending probationary status due to misconducts or dishonesties in the institution.
• No financial obligations with the institution.
• No violations of the student code from the institution.
• No probation, parole or any other legal judgment pending.
• A student Visa.
• Language Proficiency test like TOEFL, IELTS or MELAB (depending on the host country and the exchange program).
• Some programs demand the student to make an exchange student personal statement in order to be eligible.

11 Tips to Reconstruct an Erasmus Personal Statement

If you want to be selected for an Erasmus Mundus admission, it is totally important to follow certain rules. However, we’ve created a list with 11 tips to help everyone who wants to go as an exchange student to another country in order to become eligible. These tips are:

• Research your destinations clearly and make a wonderful statement on why you want to go as an exchange student there.
• Be clear on your long-term goals of getting admitted in one student exchange program.
• Try to pick a country in which it will be easier for you to communicate (even though some programs offer language studies for free).
• Make a list of what you think will be more interesting for you of getting a student exchange program opportunity.
• If an exchange student program is not what you want exactly, be clear on your desires.
• You can make clear that you want an internship in another country, to go as a research student, to take short courses or just volunteering.
• Take a good look at the institutions available in your desired country and if the program offers exactly what you want.
• Explain why is it that you decided to apply for an exchange student program in the first place.
• Don’t forget to point out your strengths as a student, especially if you are an advanced one from Bachelor’s up.
• Try to point out the advantages of going to the country of your preference and why did you prefer it in the first place.
• Don’t ever forget to be clear and concise in every statement, without falling into deep explanations and making everything appealing for the admission committee that will take a look at your statement.

A Student Exchange Program Is the Best Way to Learn

Finally, going as an exchange student to another country is one of the best experiences anyone can have in their life. This will teach the person about almost every aspect of life, from the most valuable experiences to every single aspect of personal and professional values. If you want to get selected, you will have to write the best Erasmus personal Statement you can and we can easily help you with your  personal statement edit .

Don’t hesitate in contacting us so we can help you with Erasmus personal statement further!

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