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How to Write a Story About My Life Essay
Your life story is a unique tapestry of experiences, emotions, and milestones. Here's a guide on weaving these elements into a compelling narrative:
How do I write a story about my life essay? Writing about your life is an introspective journey. Reflect on milestones such as: "In 2005, my family embarked on a cross-country move from New York to California. This was not just a physical journey, but an emotional one as we navigated cultural shifts and personal growth."
How do you write a life story example? Narrative snippets can bring your essay to life. Consider: "Amid the aroma of my grandmother's kitchen, where the scent of fresh-baked bread intertwined with stories of her youth in Italy, I realized the importance of preserving family narratives."
How do you write a story essay? For instance: "As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a golden hue over our beach campfire, my friend Sarah started narrating her unexpected escapade in the jungles of Borneo. With every twist and turn, we were gripped, realizing that sometimes life's best stories are unplanned."
What is life simple essay? Life's moments can be captured in simple narratives. Reflect upon: "Last winter, while walking my dog Max, we came across a frozen pond. Watching children gleefully slide across it, I was reminded of life's fleeting moments of joy and the importance of seizing them."
How do you write a short life story about yourself? Begin with defining moments: "When I was ten, I found a wounded bird in our backyard. Nursing it back to health didn't just kindle my love for animals but taught me compassion and patience."
How can I write about myself example? Use varied experiences: "From scaling the rocky terrains of Colorado, immersing myself in the bustling streets of Tokyo, to teaching underprivileged kids in my hometown, each experience has crafted a chapter of my ever-evolving life story."
What is our story? "In college, Lisa and I teamed up for a project on Renaissance art. Not only did we ace it, but our shared admiration for art and culture fostered a bond that turned two classmates into lifelong friends."
How do you start an interesting story example? Set the scene vividly: "It was on a cold, foggy night in London when I stumbled upon an old bookstore. Little did I know, this store harbored secrets that would lead me on a whirlwind adventure."
How do you write a successful story? Use emotions to captivate: "As Maria gazed upon the old photograph, tears welled up in her eyes. It wasn't just an image; it was a time capsule transporting her back to summers spent at her grandparents' cottage."
How do you write an example essay? Support your arguments with real-life instances: "In arguing the importance of community, I often reflect on the time my neighbors came together post a hurricane, showcasing unity and resilience."
What life means to me example? "Life, for me, is a mosaic of memories ā from the giggles shared over childhood pranks to the solace found in solitary walks during challenging times."
Frequently Asked Questions
- What makes a personal life story essay engaging? True stories resonate best. Pouring genuine emotions, raw experiences, and candid reflections into your narrative makes it universally relatable.
- How can I avoid making my life story essay sound boastful? Maintain a balance. Celebrate achievements, but also shed light on challenges, lessons learned, and moments of vulnerability.
- What tense should I use when writing my life story? Past tense is often used, but present tense can create immediacy when sharing thoughts.
- How personal should I get in my life story essay? Authenticity is engaging, but set boundaries on details you share.
- Is chronological order essential in a life essay? Not necessarily. Chronology provides clarity, but thematic or importance-based sequencing can be impactful.
- Can I incorporate dialogues in my life story essay? Absolutely! Dialogues make moments come alive and give insights into character dynamics.
- Should I conclude with a lesson in my life story? Ending with a reflection or lesson provides closure and a takeaway for readers.
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My Journey As A College Student Essay
This essay is written by a college student who reflects on their journey towards academic and personal growth. Through experiences, challenges, and self-reflection, the author shares how they have grown as an individual, and the valuable lessons they have learned along the way.
Essay about My Journey As A College Student
Introduction:
My journey as a college student has been an exciting and challenging experience. As a student, I have encountered numerous challenges that have helped me grow and mature as an individual. In this essay, I will reflect on my personal journey towards academic and personal growth, highlighting the experiences, challenges, and lessons that have shaped me.
My journey as a college student started when I entered my first year. It was a daunting experience as I had to adapt to a new environment and a higher level of academic rigor. I struggled to manage my time, prioritize my tasks, and stay motivated. However, I was determined to overcome these obstacles and start my journey towards academic and personal growth.
One of the significant experiences that helped me grow was joining extracurricular activities. Through extracurricular activities, I learned the importance of time management, teamwork, and leadership. It also helped me to make friends and feel more connected to the college community. As I continued to participate in extracurricular activities, I gained confidence in myself and my abilities, and my personal growth improved.
Another significant challenge I faced was balancing academics with personal life. I struggled to find a balance between schoolwork, social life, and personal time. However, I sought help from my peers and academic advisors, and they provided the support I needed to succeed. I also learned to manage my time more efficiently, prioritize my tasks, and seek help when needed.
Through self-reflection, I discovered my passion for a particular field of study. I explored various courses, attended lectures, and conducted research in my field of interest. It helped me to gain clarity and perspective, and to become more self-aware. I also learned the importance of self-care and mental health. I started to prioritize my well-being, and I developed healthy habits such as exercise, meditation, and journaling.
Conclusion:
My journey as a college student has been a rewarding and fulfilling experience. Through my experiences, challenges, and self-reflection, I have learned valuable lessons that have shaped me into the person I am today. I have learned to be more empathetic, compassionate, and kind. I have also learned to value myself and my abilities. As I continue my journey towards academic and personal growth, I am excited to see where it will take me and what new experiences and challenges I will encounter.
Hello! Welcome to my Blog StudyParagraphs.co. My name isĀ Angelina. I am a college professor. I love reading writing for kids students. This blog is full with valuable knowledge for all class students. Thank you for reading my articles.
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10 Personal Statement Essay Examples That Worked
Whatās covered:, what is a personal statement.
- Essay 1: Summer Program
- Essay 2: Being Bangladeshi-American
- Essay 3: Why Medicine
- Essay 4: Love of Writing
- Essay 5: Starting a Fire
- Essay 6: Dedicating a Track
- Essay 7: Body Image and Eating Disorders
- Essay 8: Becoming a Coach
- Essay 9: Eritrea
- Essay 10: Journaling
- Is Your Personal Statement Strong Enough?
Your personal statement is any essay that you must write for your main application, such as the Common App Essay , University of California Essays , or Coalition Application Essay . This type of essay focuses on your unique experiences, ideas, or beliefs that may not be discussed throughout the rest of your application. This essay should be an opportunity for the admissions officers to get to know you better and give them a glimpse into who you really are.
In this post, we will share 10 different personal statements that were all written by real students. We will also provide commentary on what each essay did well and where there is room for improvement, so you can make your personal statement as strong as possible!
Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isnāt genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized.Ā
Personal Statement Examples
Essay example #1: exchange program.
The twisting roads, ornate mosaics, and fragrant scent of freshly ground spices had been so foreign at first. Now in my fifth week of the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco, I felt more comfortable in the city. With a bag full of pastries from the market, I navigated to a bus stop, paid the fare, and began the trip back to my host familyās house. It was hard to believe that only a few years earlier my mom was worried about letting me travel around my home city on my own, let alone a place that I had only lived in for a few weeks. While I had been on a journey towards self-sufficiency and independence for a few years now, it was Morocco that pushed me to become the confident, self-reflective person that I am today.
As a child, my parents pressured me to achieve perfect grades, master my swim strokes, and discover interesting hobbies like playing the oboe and learning to pick locks. I felt compelled to live my life according to their wishes. Of course, this pressure was not a wholly negative factor in my life āā you might even call it support. However, the constant presence of my parentsā hopes for me overcame my own sense of desire and led me to become quite dependent on them. I pushed myself to get straight Aās, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school. Despite all these achievements, I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success. I had always been expected to succeed on the path they had defined. However, this path was interrupted seven years after my parentsā divorce when my dad moved across the country to Oregon.
I missed my dadās close presence, but I loved my new sense of freedom. My parentsā separation allowed me the space to explore my own strengths and interests as each of them became individually busier. As early as middle school, I was riding the light rail train by myself, reading maps to get myself home, and applying to special academic programs without urging from my parents. Even as I took more initiatives on my own, my parents both continued to see me as somewhat immature. All of that changed three years ago, when I applied and was accepted to the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco. I would be studying Arabic and learning my way around the city of Marrakesh. Although I think my parents were a little surprised when I told them my news, the addition of a fully-funded scholarship convinced them to let me go.
I lived with a host family in Marrakesh and learned that they, too, had high expectations for me. I didnāt know a word of Arabic, and although my host parents and one brother spoke good English, they knew I was there to learn. If I messed up, they patiently corrected me but refused to let me fall into the easy pattern of speaking English just as I did at home. Just as I had when I was younger, I felt pressured and stressed about meeting their expectations. However, one day, as I strolled through the bustling market square after successfully bargaining with one of the street vendors, I realized my mistake. My host family wasnāt being unfair by making me fumble through Arabic. I had applied for this trip, and I had committed to the intensive language study. My host familyās rules about speaking Arabic at home had not been to fulfill their expectations for me, but to help me fulfill my expectations for myself. Similarly, the pressure my parents had put on me as a child had come out of love and their hopes for me, not out of a desire to crush my individuality.
As my bus drove through the still-bustling market square and past the medieval Ben-Youssef madrasa, I realized that becoming independent was a process, not an event. I thought that my parentsā separation when I was ten had been the one experience that would transform me into a self-motivated and autonomous person. It did, but that didnāt mean that I didnāt still have room to grow. Now, although I am even more self-sufficient than I was three years ago, I try to approach every experience with the expectation that it will change me. Itās still difficult, but I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesnāt mean itās not important.
What the Essay Did Well
This is a nice essay because it delves into particular character trait of the student and how it has been shaped and matured over time. Although it doesnāt focus the essay around a specific anecdote, the essay is still successful because it is centered around this studentās independence. This is a nice approach for a personal statement: highlight a particular trait of yours and explore how it has grown with you.
The ideas in this essay are universal to growing upāliving up to parentsā expectations, yearning for freedom, and coming to terms with realityābut it feels unique to the student because of the inclusion of details specific to them. Including their oboe lessons, the experience of riding the light rail by themselves, and the negotiations with a street vendor helps show the reader what these common tropes of growing up looked like for them personally.Ā
Another strength of the essay is the level of self-reflection included throughout the piece. Since there is no central anecdote tying everything together, an essay about a character trait is only successful when you deeply reflect on how you felt, where you made mistakes, and how that trait impacts your life. The author includes reflection in sentences like ā I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success, ā and ā I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesnāt mean itās not important. ā These sentences help us see how the student was impacted and what their point of view is.
What Could Be Improved
The largest change this essay would benefit from is to show not tell. The platitude you have heard a million times no doubt, but for good reason. This essay heavily relies on telling the reader what occurred, making us less engaged as the entire reading experience feels more passive. If the student had shown us what happens though, it keeps the reader tied to the action and makes them feel like they are there with the student, making it much more enjoyable to read.Ā
For example, they tell us about the pressure to succeed their parents placed on them: ā I pushed myself to get straight Aās, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school.āĀ They could have shown us what that pressure looked like with a sentence like this: ā My stomach turnedĀ somersaults as my rattling knee thumped against the deskĀ before every test, scared to get anything less than a 95. For five years the painful squawk of the oboe only reminded me of my parentsā claps and whistles at my concerts. I mastered the butterfly, backstroke, and freestyle, fighting against the anchor of their expectations threatening to pull me down.ā
If the student had gone through their essay and applied this exercise of bringing more detail and colorful language to sentences that tell the reader what happened, the essay would be really great.Ā
Table of Contents
Essay Example #2: Being Bangladeshi-American
Life before was good: verdant forests, sumptuous curries, and a devoted family.
Then, my family abandoned our comfortable life in Bangladesh for a chance at the American dream in Los Angeles. Within our first year, my father was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. He lost his battle three weeks before my sixth birthday. Facing a new country without the steady presence of my father, we were vulnerable ā prisoners of hardship in the land of the free. We resettled in the Bronx, in my uncleās renovated basement. It was meant to be our refuge, but I felt more displaced than ever. Gone were the high-rise condos of West L.A.; instead, government projects towered over the neighborhood. Pedestrians no longer smiled and greeted me; the atmosphere was hostile, even toxic. Schoolkids were quick to pick on those they saw as weak or foreign, hurling harsh words Iād never heard before.
Meanwhile, my family began integrating into the local Bangladeshi community. I struggled to understand those who shared my heritage. Bangladeshi mothers stayed home while fathers drove cabs and sold fruit by the roadside ā painful societal positions. Riding on crosstown buses or walking home from school, I began to internalize these disparities. During my fleeting encounters with affluent Upper East Siders, I saw kids my age with nannies, parents who wore suits to work, and luxurious apartments with spectacular views. Most took cabs to their destinations: cabs that Bangladeshis drove. I watched the mundane moments of their lives with longing, aching to plant myself in their shoes. Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day.Ā
As I grappled with my relationship with the Bangladeshi community, I turned my attention to helping my Bronx community by pursuing an internship with Assemblyman Luis Sepulveda. I handled desk work and took calls, spending the bulk of my time actively listening to the hardships constituents faced ā everything from a veteran stripped of his benefits to a grandmother unable to support her bedridden grandchild.
Iād never exposed myself to stories like these, and now I was the first to hear them. As an intern, I could only assist in what felt like the small ways ā pointing out local job offerings, printing information on free ESL classes, reaching out to non-profits. But to a community facing an onslaught of intense struggles, I realized that something as small as these actions could have vast impacts. Seeing the immediate consequences of my actions inspired me. Throughout that summer, I internalized my communityās daily challenges in a new light. I began to stop seeing the prevalent underemployment and cramped living quarters less as sources of shame. Instead, I saw them as realities that had to be acknowledged, but could ultimately be remedied. I also realized the benefits of the Bangladeshi culture I had been so ashamed of. My Bangla language skills were an asset to the office, and my understanding of Bangladeshi etiquette allowed for smooth communication between office staff and its constituents. As I helped my neighbors navigate city services, I saw my heritage with pride ā a perspective I never expected to have.
I can now appreciate the value of my unique culture and background, and of living with less. This perspective offers room for progress, community integration, and a future worth fighting for. My time with Assemblyman Sepulvedaās office taught me that I can be a change agent in enabling this progression. Far from being ashamed of my community, I want to someday return to local politics in the Bronx to continue helping others access the American Dream. I hope to help my community appreciate the opportunity to make progress together. By embracing reality, I learned to live it. Along the way, I discovered one thing: life is good, but we can make it better.
This studentās passion for social justice and civic duty shines through in this essay because of how honest it is. Sharing their personal experience with immigrating, moving around, being an outsider, and finding a community allows us to see the hardships this student has faced and builds empathy towards their situation. However, what really makes it strong is that they go beyond describing the difficulties they faced and explain the mental impact it had on them as a child: Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day.Ā
The rejection of their culture presented at the beginning of the essay creates a nice juxtaposition with the studentās view in the latter half of the essay and helps demonstrate how they have matured. They use their experience interning as a way to delve into a change in their thought process about their culture and show how their passion for social justice began. Using this experience as a mechanism to explore their thoughts and feelings is an excellent example of how items that are included elsewhere on your application should be incorporated into your essay.
This essay prioritizes emotions and personal views over specific anecdotes. Although there are details and certain moments incorporated throughout to emphasize the authorās points, the main focus remains on the student and how they grapple with their culture and identity. Ā
One area for improvement is the conclusion. Although the forward-looking approach is a nice way to end an essay focused on social justice, it would be nice to include more details and imagery in the conclusion. How does the student want to help their community? What government position do they see themselves holding one day?Ā
A more impactful ending might look like the student walking into their office at the New York City Housing Authority in 15 years and looking at the plans to build a new development in the Bronx just blocks away from where the grew up that would provide quality housing to people in their Bangladeshi community. They would smile while thinking about how far they have come from that young kid who used to be ashamed of their culture.Ā
Essay Example #3: Why Medicine
I took my first trip to China to visit my cousin Anna in July of 2014. Distance had kept us apart, but when we were together, we fell into all of our old inside jokes and caught up on each otherās lives. Her sparkling personality and optimistic attitude always brought a smile to my face. This time, however, my heart broke when I saw the effects of her brain cancer; she had suffered from a stroke that paralyzed her left side. She was still herself in many ways, but I could see that the damage to her brain made things difficult for her. I stayed by her every day, providing the support she needed, whether assisting her with eating and drinking, reading to her, or just watching āFriends.ā During my flight back home, sorrow and helplessness overwhelmed me. Would I ever see Anna again? Could I have done more to make Anna comfortable? I wished I could stay in China longer to care for her. As I deplaned, I wondered if I could transform my grief to help other children and teenagers in the US who suffered as Anna did.
The day after I got home, as jet lag dragged me awake a few minutes after midnight, I remembered hearing about the Family Reach Foundation (FRF) and its work with children going through treatments at the local hospital and their families. I began volunteering in the FRFās Childrenās Activity Room, where I play with children battling cancer. Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up. When they take on the roles of firefighters or fairies, we all get caught up in the game; for that time, they forget the sanitized, stark, impersonal walls of the pediatric oncology ward. Building close relationships with them and seeing them giggle and laugh is so rewarding ā I love watching them grow and get better throughout their course of treatment.
Hearing from the parents about their childrenās condition and seeing the children recover inspired me to consider medical research. To get started, I enrolled in a summer collegelevel course in Abnormal Psychology. There I worked with Catelyn, a rising college senior, on a data analysis project regarding Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Together, we examined the neurological etiology of DID by studying four fMRI and PET cases. I fell in love with gathering data and analyzing the results and was amazed by our final product: several stunning brain images showcasing the areas of hyper and hypoactivity in brains affected by DID. Desire quickly followed my amazement ā I want to continue this project and study more brains. Their complexity, delicacy, and importance to every aspect of life fascinate me. Successfully completing this research project gave me a sense of hope; I know I am capable of participating in a large scale research project and potentially making a difference in someone elseās life through my research.
Annaās diagnosis inspired me to begin volunteering at FRF; from there, I discovered my desire to help people further by contributing to medical research. As my research interest blossomed, I realized that itās no coincidence that I want to study brainsāafter all, Anna suffered from brain cancer. Reflecting on these experiences this past year and a half, I see that everything Iāve done is connected. Sadly, a few months after I returned from China, Anna passed away. I am still sad, but as I run a toy truck across the floor and watch one of the little patientsā eyes light up, I imagine that she would be proud of my commitment to pursue medicine and study the brain.
This essay has a very strong emotional core that tugs at the heart strings and makes the reader feel invested. Writing about sickness can be difficult and doesnāt always belong in a personal statement, but in this case it works well because the focus is on how this student cared for her cousin and dealt with the grief and emotions surrounding her condition. Writing about the compassion she showed and the doubts and concerns that filled her mind keeps the focus on the author and her personality.Ā
This continues when she again discusses the activities she did with the kids at FRF and the personal reflection this experience allowed her to have. For example, she writes: Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up.
Concluding the essay with the sad story of her cousinās passing brings the essay full circle and returns to the emotional heart of the piece to once again build a connection with the reader. However, it finishes on a hopeful note and demonstrates how this student has been able to turn a tragic experience into a source of lifelong inspiration.Ā
One thing this essay should be cognizant of is that personal statements should not read as summaries of your extracurricular resume. Although this essay doesnāt fully fall into that trap, it does describe two key extracurriculars the student participated in. However, the inclusion of such a strong emotional core running throughout the essay helps keep the focus on the student and her thoughts and feelings during these activities.
To avoid making this mistake, make sure you have a common thread running through your essay and the extracurriculars provide support to the story you are trying to tell, rather than crafting a story around your activities. And, as this essay does, make sure there is lots of personal reflection and feelings weaved throughout to focus attention to you rather than your extracurriculars.Ā
Essay Example #4: Love of Writing
āI want to be a writer.ā This had been my answer to every youthful discussion with the adults in my life about what I would do when I grew up. As early as elementary school, I remember reading my writing pieces aloud to an audience at āAuthor of the Monthā ceremonies. Bearing this goal in mind, and hoping to gain some valuable experience, I signed up for a journalism class during my freshman year. Despite my love for writing, I initially found myself uninterested in the subject and I struggled to enjoy the class. When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines. Journalism required a laconic style and orderly structure, and I found my teacherās assignments formulaic and dull. That class shook my confidence as a writer. I was uncertain if I should continue in it for the rest of my high school career.
Despite my misgivings, I decided that I couldnāt make a final decision on whether to quit journalism until I had some experience working for a paper outside of the classroom. The following year, I applied to be a staff reporter on our school newspaper. I hoped this would help me become more self-driven and creative, rather than merely writing articles that my teacher assigned. To my surprise, my time on staff was worlds away from what I experienced in the journalism class. Although I was unaccustomed to working in a fast-paced environment and initially found it burdensome to research and complete high-quality stories in a relatively short amount of time, I also found it exciting. I enjoyed learning more about topics and events on campus that I did not know much about; some of my stories that I covered in my first semester concerned a chess tournament, a food drive, and a Spanish immersion party. I relished in the freedom I had to explore and learn, and to write more independently than I could in a classroom.
Although I enjoyed many aspects of working for the paper immediately, reporting also pushed me outside of my comfort zone. I am a shy person, and speaking with people I did not know intimidated me. During my first interview, I met with the basketball coach to prepare for a story about the teamās winning streak. As I approached his office, I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block, and I could hardly get out my opening questions. Fortunately, the coach was very kind and helped me through the conversation. Encouraged, I prepared for my next interview with more confidence. After a few weeks of practice, I even started to look forward to interviewing people on campus. That first journalism class may have bored me, but even if journalism in practice was challenging, it was anything but tedious.
Over the course of that year, I grew to love writing for our school newspaper. Reporting made me aware of my surroundings, and made me want to know more about current events on campus and in the town where I grew up. By interacting with people all over campus, I came to understand the breadth of individuals and communities that make up my high school. I felt far more connected to diverse parts of my school through my work as a journalist, and I realized that journalism gave me a window into seeing beyond my own experiences. The style of news writing may be different from what I used to think āwritingā meant, but I learned that I can still derive exciting plots from events that may have gone unnoticed if not for my stories. I no longer struggle to approach others, and truly enjoy getting to know people and recognizing their accomplishments through my writing. Becoming a writer may be a difficult path, but it is as rewarding as I hoped when I was young.
This essay is clearly structured in a manner that makes it flow very nicely and contributes to its success. It starts with a quote to draw in the reader and show this studentās life-long passion for writing. Then it addresses the challenges of facing new, unfamiliar territory and how this student overcame it. Finally, it concludes by reflecting on this eye-opening experience and a nod to their younger self from the introduction. Having a well-thought out and sequential structure with clear transitions makes it extremely easy for the reader to follow along and take away the main idea.
Another positive aspect of the essay is the use of strong and expressive language. Sentences like ā When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines ā stand out because of the intentional use of words like ālyricalā, āprofoundā, and āthrillingā to convey the studentās love of writing. The author also uses an active voice to capture the readersā attention and keep us engaged. They rely on their language and diction to reveal details to the reader, for instance saying ā I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block ā to describe feeling nervous.
This essay is already very strong, so there isnāt much that needs to be changed. One thing that could take the essay from great to outstanding would be to throw in more quotes, internal dialogue, and sensory descriptors.
It would be nice to see the nerves they felt interviewing the coach by including dialogue like ā Umā¦I want to interview you aboutā¦uhā¦ā.Ā They could have shown their original distaste for journalism by narrating the thoughts running through their head. The fast-paced environment of their newspaper could have come to life with descriptions about the clacking of keyboards and the whirl of people running around laying out articles.
Essay Example #5: Starting a Fire
Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug sprayāI wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire.Ā
Furiously I rubbed the twigs togetherārubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teethāold, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family.Ā
Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt.Ā
āWhereās the fire, Princess Clara?ā they taunted. āHaving some trouble?ā They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame.Ā
In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since Iād kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, Iād practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musicianāfleshy and sensitive. And Iād gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldnāt remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformationāhe disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him.Ā
Yet, I realized I hadnāt really changedāI had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. Iād grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses.Ā
That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumpedāit helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldnāt start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smokedāmy hands burned from all that scrawlingāand even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparkingāI was on fire, always on fire.
This student is an excellent writer, which allows a simple story to be outstandingly compelling. The author articulates her points beautifully and creatively through her immense use of details and figurative language. Lines like āa rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees,ā and ārubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers,ā create vivid images that draw the reader in.Ā
The flowery and descriptive prose also contributes to the nice juxtaposition between the old Clara and the new Clara. The latter half of the essay contrasts elements of nature with music and writing to demonstrate how natural these interests are for her now. This sentence perfectly encapsulates the contrast she is trying to build: āIt had been years since Iād kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, Iād practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musicianāfleshy and sensitive.ā
In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction āFire!ā and ends with the following image: āWhen the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smokedāmy hands burned from all that scrawlingāand even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparkingāI was on fire, always on fire.ā This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.
There is very little this essay should change, however one thing to be cautious about is having an essay that is overly-descriptive. We know from the essay that this student likes to read and write, and depending on other elements of her application, it might make total sense to have such a flowery and ornate writing style. However, your personal statement needs to reflect your voice as well as your personality. If you would never use language like this in conversation or your writing, donāt put it in your personal statement. Make sure there is a balance between eloquence and your personal voice.
Essay Example #6: Dedicating a Track
āGetting beat is one thing ā itās part of competing ā but I want no part in losing.ā Coach Rob Starkās motto never fails to remind me of his encouragement on early-morning bus rides to track meets around the state. Iāve always appreciated the phrase, but an experience last June helped me understand its more profound, universal meaning.
Stark, as we affectionately call him, has coached track at my high school for 25 years. His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running. When I learned a neighboring high school had dedicated their track to a longtime coach, I felt that Stark deserved similar honors.
Our school districtās board of education indicated they would only dedicate our track to Stark if I could demonstrate that he was extraordinary. I took charge and mobilized my teammates to distribute petitions, reach out to alumni, and compile statistics on the many team and individual champions Stark had coached over the years. We received astounding support, collecting almost 3,000 signatures and pages of endorsements from across the community. With help from my teammates, I presented this evidence to the board.
They didnāt bite.Ā
Most members argued that dedicating the track was a low priority. Knowing that we had to act quickly to convince them of its importance, I called a team meeting where we drafted a rebuttal for the next board meeting. To my surprise, they chose me to deliver it. I was far from the best public speaker in the group, and I felt nervous about going before the unsympathetic board again. However, at that second meeting, I discovered that I enjoy articulating and arguing for something that Iām passionate about.
Public speaking resembles a cross country race. Walking to the starting line, you have to trust your training and quell your last minute doubts. When the gun fires, you canāt think too hard about anything; your performance has to be instinctual, natural, even relaxed. At the next board meeting, the podium was my starting line. As I walked up to it, familiar butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Instead of the track stretching out in front of me, I faced the vast audience of teachers, board members, and my teammates. I felt my adrenaline build, and reassured myself: Iāve put in the work, my argument is powerful and sound. As the board president told me to introduce myself, I heard, ārunners setā in the back of my mind. She finished speaking, and Bang! The brief silence was the gunshot for me to begin.Ā
The next few minutes blurred together, but when the dust settled, I knew from the board membersā expressions and the audienceās thunderous approval that I had run quite a race. Unfortunately, it wasnāt enough; the board voted down our proposal. I was disappointed, but proud of myself, my team, and our collaboration off the track. We stood up for a cause we believed in, and I overcame my worries about being a leader. Although I discovered that changing the status quo through an elected body can be a painstakingly difficult process and requires perseverance, I learned that I enjoy the challenges this effort offers. Last month, one of the school board members joked that I had become a āregularā ā I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.
Just as Stark taught me, I worked passionately to achieve my goal. I may have been beaten when I appealed to the board, but I certainly didnāt lose, and that would have made Stark proud.
This essay effectively conveys this studentās compassion for others, initiative, and determinationāall great qualities to exemplify in a personal statement!
Although they rely on telling us a lot of what happened up until the board meeting, the use of running a race (their passion) as a metaphor for public speaking provides a lot of insight into the fear that this student overcame to work towards something bigger than themself. Comparing a podium to the starting line, the audience to the track, and silence to the gunshot is a nice way of demonstrating this studentās passion for cross country running without making that the focus of the story.
The essay does a nice job of coming full circle at the end by explaining what the quote from the beginning meant to them after this experience. Without explicitly saying ā I now know that what Stark actually meant isā¦ā they rely on the strength of their argument above to make it obvious to the reader what it means to get beat but not lose.Ā
One of the biggest areas of improvement in the intro, however, is how the essay tells us Starkās impact rather than showing us: His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.
The writer couldāve helped us feel a stronger emotional connection to Stark if they had included examples of Starkās qualities, rather than explicitly stating them. For example, they couldāve written something like: Stark was the kind of person who would give you gas money if you told him your parents couldnāt afford to pick you up from practice. And he actually did thatāseveral times. At track meets, alumni regularly would come talk to him and tell him how heād changed their lives. Before Stark, I was ambivalent about running and was on the JV team, but his encouragement motivated me to run longer and harder and eventually make varsity. Because of him, I approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.
Essay Example #7: Body Image and Eating Disorders
I press the ādiscoverā button on my Instagram app, hoping to find enticing pictures to satisfy my boredom. Scrolling through, I see funny videos and mouth-watering pictures of food. However, one image stops me immediately. A fit teenage girl with a āperfect bodyā relaxes in a bikini on a beach. Beneath it, I see a slew of flattering comments. I shake with disapproval over the imageās unrealistic quality. However, part of me still wants to have a body like hers so that others will make similar comments to me.
I would like to resolve a silent issue that harms many teenagers and adults: negative self image and low self-esteem in a world where social media shapes how people view each other. When people see the faƧades others wear to create an āidealā image, they can develop poor thought patterns rooted in negative self-talk. The constant comparisons to āperfectā others make people feel small. In this new digital age, it is hard to distinguish authentic from artificial representations.
When I was 11, I developed anorexia nervosa. Though I was already thin, I wanted to be skinny like the models that I saw on the magazine covers on the grocery store stands. Little did I know that those models probably also suffered from disorders, and that photoshop erased their flaws. I preferred being underweight to being healthy. No matter how little I ate or how thin I was, I always thought that I was too fat. I became obsessed with the number on the scale and would try to eat the least that I could without my parents urging me to take more. Fortunately, I stopped engaging in anorexic behaviors before middle school. However, my underlying mental habits did not change. The images that had provoked my disorder in the first place were still a constant presence in my life.
By age 15, I was in recovery from anorexia, but suffered from depression. While I used to only compare myself to models, the growth of social media meant I also compared myself to my friends and acquaintances. I felt left out when I saw my friendsā excitement about lake trips they had taken without me. As I scrolled past endless photos of my flawless, thin classmates with hundreds of likes and affirming comments, I felt my jealousy spiral. I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called āperfectā and ābody goals,ā so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my ālikes.ā When that didnāt work, I started to feel too anxious to post anything at all.Ā Ā
Body image insecurities and social media comparisons affect thousands of people ā men, women, children, and adults ā every day. I am lucky āĀ after a few months of my destructive social media habits, I came across a video that pointed out the illusory nature of social media; many Instagram posts only show off good things while people hide their flaws. I began going to therapy, and recovered from my depression. To address the problem of self-image and social media, we can all focus on what matters on the inside and not what is on the surface. As an effort to become healthy internally, I started a club at my school to promote clean eating and radiating beauty from within. It has helped me grow in my confidence, and today Iām not afraid to show others my struggles by sharing my experience with eating disorders. Someday, I hope to make this club a national organization to help teenagers and adults across the country. I support the idea of body positivity and embracing difference, not āperfection.ā After all, how can we be ourselves if we all look the same?
This essay covers the difficult topics of eating disorders and mental health. If youāre thinking about covering similar topics in your essay, we recommend reading our post Should You Talk About Mental Health in College Essays?
The short answer is that, yes, you can talk about mental health, but it can be risky. If you do go that route, itās important to focus on what you learned from the experience.
The strength of this essay is the studentās vulnerability, in excerpts such as this: I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called āperfectā and ābody goals,ā so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my ālikes.ā
The student goes on to share how they recovered from their depression through an eye-opening video and therapy sessions, and theyāre now helping others find their self-worth as well. Itās great that this essay looks towards the future and shares the writerās goals of making their club a national organization; we can see their ambition and compassion.
The main weakness of this essay is that it doesnāt focus enough on their recovery process, which is arguably the most important part. They couldāve told us more about the video they watched or the process of starting their club and the interactions theyāve had with other members. Especially when sharing such a vulnerable topic, there should be vulnerability in the recovery process too. That way, the reader can fully appreciate all that this student has overcome.
Essay Example #8: Becoming a Coach
āAdvanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.ā Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.
Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.
Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldnāt understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.
Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.
I first approached the adults in the dojang ā both instructors and membersā parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldnāt devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.
At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.
Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their childrenās coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.
Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldnāt let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojangās longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.
Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.
Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.
This essay begins with an in-the-moment narrative that really illustrates the chaos of looking for a coach last-minute. We feel the writerās emotions, particularly her dejectedness, at not being able to compete. Starting an essay in media res Ā is a great way to capture the attention of your readers and build anticipation for what comes next.
Through this essay, we can see how gutsy and determined the student is in deciding to become a coach themselves. She shows us these characteristics through their actions, rather than explicitly telling us: To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side.Ā Also, by discussing the opposition she faced and how it affected her, the student is open and vulnerable about the reality of the situation.
The essay comes full circle as the author recalls the frantic situations in seeking out a coach, but this is no longer a concern for them and their team. Overall, this essay is extremely effective in painting this student as mature, bold, and compassionate.
The biggest thing this essay needs to work on is showing not telling. Throughout the essay, the student tells us that she āemerged with new knowledge and confidence,ā she āgrew unsure of her own abilities,ā and she ārefused to give upā. What we really want to know is what this looks like.
Instead of saying she āemerged with new knowledge and confidenceā she should have shared how she taught a new move to a fellow team-member without hesitation. Rather than telling us she āgrew unsure of her own abilitiesā she should have shown what that looked like by including her internal dialogue and rhetorical questions that ran through her mind. She could have demonstrated what ārefusing to give upā looks like by explaining how she kept learning coaching techniques on her own, turned to a mentor for advice, or devised a plan to win over the trust of parents.Ā
Essay Example #9: Eritrea
No one knows where Eritrea is.
On the first day of school, for the past nine years, I would pensively stand in front of a class, a teacher, a strangerĀ waiting for the inevitable question: Where are you from?
I smile politely, my dimples accentuating my ambiguous features. āEritrea,ā I answer promptly and proudly. But IĀ am always prepared. Before their expression can deepen into confusion, ready to ask āwhere is that,ā I elaborate,Ā perhaps with a fleeting hint of exasperation, āEast Africa, near Ethiopia.ā
Sometimes, I single out the key-shaped hermit nation on a map, stunning teachers who have ānever had a studentĀ from there!ā Grinning, I resist the urge to remark, āYou didnāt even know it existed until two minutes ago!ā
Eritrea is to the East of Ethiopia, its arid coastline clutches the lucrative Red Sea. Battle scars litter the ancientĀ streets ā the colonial Italian architecture lathered with bullet holes, the mosques mangled with mortar shells.Ā Originally part of the worldās first Christian kingdom, Eritrea passed through the hands of colonial Italy, Britain, andĀ Ethiopia for over a century, until a bloody thirty year war of Independence liberated us.
But these are facts that anyone can know with a quick Google search. These are facts that I have memorised and compounded, first from my Grandmother and now from pristine booksĀ borrowed from the library.
No historical narrative, however, can adequately capture what Eritrea is.Ā No one knows the aroma of bushels of potatoes, tomatoes, and garlic ā still covered in dirt ā that leads you to the open-air market. No one knows the poignant scent of spices, arranged in orange piles reminiscent of compactedĀ dunes.Ā No one knows how to haggle stubborn herders for sheep and roosters for Christmas celebrations as deliberately as my mother. No one can replicate the perfect balance of spices in dorho and tsebhi as well as my grandmother,Ā her gnarly hands stirring the pot with ancient precision (chastising my clumsy knife work with the potatoes).Ā Itās impossible to learn when the injera is ready ā the exact moment you have to lift the lid of the mogogo. Do it tooĀ early (or too late) and the flatbread becomes mangled and gross. It is a sixth sense passed through matriarchalĀ lineages.
There are no sources that catalogue the scent of incense that wafts through the sunlit porch on St. Michaelās; noĀ films that can capture the luminescence of hundreds of flaming bonfires that fluoresce the sidewalks on KudusĀ Yohannes, as excited children chant Geāez proverbs whose origin has been lost to time.Ā You cannot learn the familiarity of walking beneath the towering Gothic figure of the Enda Mariam Cathedral, theĀ crowds undulating to the ringing of the archaic bells.Ā I have memorized the sound of the rains hounding the metal roof during kiremti , the heat of the sun poundingĀ against the Toyotaās window as we sped down towards Ghinda , the opulent brilliance of the stars twinkling in aĀ sky untainted by light pollution, the scent of warm rolls of bani wafting through the streets at precisely 6 oāclock each dayā¦
I fill my flimsy sketchbook with pictures from my memory. My hand remembers the shapes of the hibiscus driftingĀ in the wind, the outline of my grandmother (affectionately nicknamed aāabaye ) leaning over the garden, the bizarre architecture of the Fiat Tagliero .Ā I dice the vegetables with movements handed down from generations. My nose remembers the scent of frying garlic, the sourness of the warm tayta , the sharpness of the mitāmtāa ā¦
This knowledge is intrinsic.Ā āI am Eritrean,ā I repeat. āI am proud.āĀ Within me is an encyclopedia of history, culture, and idealism.
Eritrea is the coffee made from scratch, the spices drying in the sun, the priests and nuns. Eritrea is wise, filled with ambition, and unseen potential.Ā Eritrea isnāt a place, itās an identity.
This is an exceptional essay that provides a window into this studentās culture that really makes their love for their country and heritage leap off the page. The sheer level of details and sensory descriptors this student is able to fit in this space makes the essay stand out. From the smells, to the traditions, sounds, and sights, the author encapsulates all the glory of Eritrea for the reader.Ā
The vivid images this student is able to create for the reader, whether it is having the tedious conversation with every teacher or cooking in their grandmotherās kitchen, transports us into the story and makes us feel like we are there in the moment with the student. This is a prime example of an essay that shows , not tells.
Besides the amazing imagery, the use of shorter paragraphs also contributes to how engaging this essay is. Employing this tactic helps break up the text to make it more readable and it isolates ideas so they stick out more than if they were enveloped in a large paragraph.
Overall, this is a really strong essay that brings to life this studentās heritage through its use of vivid imagery. This essay exemplifies what it means to show not tell in your writing, and it is a great example of how you can write an intimate personal statement without making yourself the primary focus of your essay.Ā
There is very little this essay should improve upon, but one thing the student might consider would be to inject more personal reflection into their response. Although we can clearly take away their deep love and passion for their homeland and culture, the essay would be a bit more personal if they included the emotions and feelings they associate with the various aspects of Eritrea. For example, the way their heart swells with pride when their grandmother praises their ability to cook a flatbread or the feeling of serenity when they hear the bells ring out from the cathedral. Including personal details as well as sensory ones would create a wonderful balance of imagery and reflection.
Essay Example #10: Journaling
Flipping past dozens of colorful entries in my journal, I arrive at the final blank sheet. I press my pen lightly to the page, barely scratching its surface to create a series of loops stringing together into sentences. Emotions spill out, and with their release, I feel lightness in my chest. The stream of thoughts slows as I reach the bottom of the page, and I gently close the cover of the worn book: another journal finished.
I add the journal to the stack of eleven books on my nightstand. Struck by the bittersweet sensation of closing a chapter of my life, I grab the notebook at the bottom of the pile to reminisce.
āI want to make a flying mushen to fly in space and your in itā ā October 2008
Pulling back the cover of my first Tinkerbell-themed diary, the prompt āMy Hopes and Dreamsā captures my attention. Though āmachineā is misspelled in my scribbled response, I see the beginnings of my past obsession with outer space. At the age of five, I tore through novels about the solar system, experimented with rockets built from plastic straws, and rented Space Shuttle films from Blockbuster to satisfy my curiosities. While I chased down answers to questions as limitless as the universe, I fell in love with learning. Eight journals later, the same relentless curiosity brought me to an airplane descending on San Francisco Bay.
āI wish I had infinite sunsetsā ā July 2019
I reach for the charcoal notepad near the top of the pile and open to the first page: my flight to the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes. While I was excited to explore bioengineering, anxiety twisted in my stomach as I imagined my destination, unsure of whether I could overcome my shyness and connect with others.
With each new conversation, the sweat on my palms became less noticeable, and I met students from 23 different countries. Many of the moments where I challenged myself socially revolved around the third story deck of the Jerry house. A strange medley of English, Arabic, and Mandarin filled the summer air as my friends and I gathered there every evening, and dialogues at sunset soon became moments of bliss. In our conversations about cultural differences, the possibility of an afterlife, and the plausibility of far-fetched conspiracy theories, I learned to voice my opinion. As I was introduced to different viewpoints, these moments challenged my understanding of the world around me. In my final entries from California, I find excitement to learn from others and increased confidence, a tool that would later allow me to impact my community.
āThe beauty in a tower of cansā ā June 2020
Returning my gaze to the stack of journals, I stretch to take the floral-patterned book sitting on top. I flip through, eventually finding the beginnings of the organization I created during the outbreak of COVID-19. Since then, Door-to-Door Deliveries has woven its way through my entries and into reality, allowing me to aid high-risk populations through free grocery delivery.
With the confidence I gained the summer before, I took action when seeing others in need rather than letting my shyness hold me back. I reached out to local churches and senior centers to spread word of our services and interacted with customers through our website and social media pages. To further expand our impact, we held two food drives, and I mustered the courage to ask for donations door-to-door. In a tower of canned donations, I saw the value of reaching out to help others and realized my own potential to impact the world around me.
I delicately close the journal in my hands, smiling softly as the memories reappear, one after another. Reaching under my bed, I pull out a fresh notebook and open to its first sheet. I lightly press my pen to the page, āAnd so begins the next chapterā¦ā
The structuring of this essay makes it easy and enjoyable to read. The student effectively organizes their various life experiences around their tower of journals, which centers the reader and makes the different stories easy to follow. Additionally, the student engages quotes from their journalsāand unique formatting of the quotesāto signal that they are moving in time and show us which memory we should follow them to.
Thematically, the student uses the idea of shyness to connect the different memories they draw out of their journals. As the student describes their experiences overcoming shyness at the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes and Door-to-Door Deliveries, this essay can be read as an Overcoming Obstacles essay.
At the end of this essay, readers are fully convinced that this student is dedicated (they have committed to journaling every day), thoughtful (journaling is a thoughtful process and, in the essay, the student reflects thoughtfully on the past), and motivated (they flew across the country for a summer program and started a business). These are definitely qualities admissions officers are looking for in applicants!
Although this essay is already exceptionally strong as itās written, the first journal entry feels out of place compared to the other two entries that discuss the authorās shyness and determination. It works well for the essay to have an entry from when the student was younger to add some humor (with misspelled words) and nostalgia, but if the student had either connected the quote they chose to the idea of overcoming a fear present in the other two anecdotes or if they had picked a different quote all together related to their shyness, it would have made the entire essay feel more cohesive.
Where to Get Your Personal Statement Edited
Do you want feedback on your personal statement? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. Thatās why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other studentsā essays.Ā
If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!
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My Journey as a University Student
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Essays About Journeys: Top 5 Examples and 7 Easy Prompts
Essays about journeys require recounting the events of your travel. Discover our guide with examples and prompts to help you write your essay.
No two journeys are the same, and various factors will always be at play. It’s the reason many documents their expedition through different mediums. Writing about journeys is similar to telling a real-life story that influenced your character or perspective.
Writing essays about journeys helps to develop your writing and observation skills as you recall and pick the highlights of your travel. Sharing your experiences can entice readers to take on a journey themselves. So, aim to inspire with this exciting essay topic.
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5 Essay Examples
1. the best journey in my life by suzanne pittman, 2. road trips: everything you need for a comfortable journey by car by anonymous on gradesfixer.com, 3. the first day of my journey to adulthood by anonymous on papersowl.com, 4. life is a journey essay by anonymous on paperwritings.com, 5. long essay on train journey by prasanna, 1. reasons to go on a journey, 2. trip vs. journey, 3. how to enjoy long journeys, 4. my most memorable journey, 5. what makes a journey meaningful, 6. my dream journey, 7. a heroās journey.
āI had to save a lot of money because I wanted very much to go on this journey with my friends. We planned our trip to take us around Europe. We were going to stop in various parts of Europe with family members and friends.ā
The essay mimics Pittman’s travel itinerary during her journey in Europe. She includes all the trip details from the first to the last day and makes the readers feel as if they’re traveling with them. Pittman also offers some travel tips to help anyone who wants to visit Europe on a budget. These tips include staying with friends and relatives and taking comfortable train rides despite long distances.
āWith proper planning, everything else seems effortless. You need to consider all factors when planning in order for you to enjoy a successful, stress-free adventure.ā
The author believes that the primary purpose of traveling is to relax and have fun. They use the essay to teach how to plan car trips properly. Travelers must learn to budget and estimate expenses, including accommodation, gas, activities, and food. Picking a transportation means is also crucial as one needs to consider factors such as capacity, range, and utility.
āAlthough things didnāt go how I planned Iām still in college bettering myself and furthering my education. Anything is possible with a good support system and positive mindset.ā
The essay narrates how the author’s journey into adulthood becomes a mini-vacation in Georgia after their top university rejects their enrollment. This rejection offers the opportunity to understand many great life lessons. Despite having five other universities to choose from, the writer realizes they only provide free tuition for the first semester. Ultimately, the author receives a full scholarship to a university closer to home.
āAll people have the same journey to take ā their life. As well as in the other journeys, there may be some inconveniences, disappointments and joys, and a lot depends on how we plan this particular journey and what attitude we develop towards it.ā
In this essay, the writer shares that the best way to go on a life journey is with the most joy and minor damage you can endure. It’s constant work to continuously improve one’s life while developing positive qualities and thinking. But in doing so, you’ll have a solid foundation to achieve what you want out of life. However, the author still reminds the readers that they should always be ready to face unexpected events and deal with them in the best way possible.
āThese days, people prefer traveling via airplanes because it is time-saving. But going by plane gets boring and monotonous. Train journeys are a relief from the monotony.ā
For Prasanna, whether it’s a short or extended tour, a train journey offers an exciting travel experience. She talks about the local and regional trains in India, which are often overcrowded but still used by many as they are the cheapest, safest, and fastest mode of transport in the country. She also mentions that you’ll never get hungry when riding their local trains because of the vendors who sell Indian delicacies.
7 Prompts for Essays About Journeys
Everyone has different motives for traveling. Some go on a journey to appreciate beautiful sceneries, while some move to attend family or work-related gatherings. Some do so to run away from problems. For this prompt, research the common reasons to travel. You can also interview people on why they go on a journey and add any personal experiences.
It’s a trip when a person travels from one point to another without any transfers. Meanwhile, a journey is a more extended voyage that includes transfers and several trips. Compare and contrast trips and journeys to make your readers understand their similarities and differences. You can also have the advantages and disadvantages of each in your paper.
If writing an essay sounds like a lot of work, simplify it. Write a simple 5 paragraph essay instead.
The idea of having a long journey and discovering new things is exciting. However, the excitement can disappear when youāre far away from home. This is especially true for longer and farther travels. This prompt will help readers have a safer, more affordable, and more enjoyable trip by discussing the best long-distance travel tips. You can present an imaginary itinerary with estimated costs to make the essay more digestible.
Write about an unforgettable journey you’ve had through this prompt. Include the purpose of your travel, how you planned it, and if your timetable was followed. Share what you’ll improve on next time to make your journey even better; you can also talk about your companions and the activities that make the adventure worthwhile.
Journeys become meaningful when they enrich lives. It can be because of the destination, the people you are with, or the travelās goal. Use this prompt to suggest how journeys improve us as humans. You can section your piece based on an individual’s objectives. For example, someone who wants to recharge and get away from the city will find meaning in going to a location far from technology.
Although traveling can be tiring, 43% of travelers appreciate the experience they gain. Think of journeys you desire to be in and add your reasons. Then, you can share your plan on how to make it happen. For instance, you want to tour Southeast Asia and visit countries like the Philippines, Vietnam, and Thailand. To make this dream journey come true, you’ll save for an entire year and work around a tight budget.
It’s normal to see the main character in a movie or novel go through a character arc before they become a true hero. Use this prompt to explain a hero’s journey and why the character must go through it. To give you an idea, Peter Parker was a shy and introverted kid who lived an everyday life before becoming Spider-Man. This makes him relatable to the audience and lets them understand his decisions in the following scenes.
For more examples, check out our guide to movies that follow the heroās journey .
You can also talk about real-life heroes, such as doctors and firefighters. Interview someone with that profession and ask them why they decided to have their current career.
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VCE English and EAL, English Language, and Literature guide - units 3 & 4
- Writing about personal journeys
Guide to research and literary criticism of current texts used in VCE English and English as an Additional Language (EAL), English Language, and Literature
- Get started
- Short stories
- Multimodal - Films
- Multimodal - Other
- Australian texts
- Writing about country
- Writing about protest
- Writing about play
- Writing forms
- English Language Units 3 & 4
- General resources
- Other literature
- Literary theory and interpretation
- Researching literature online
VCAA Outline: Writing about personal journeys
Writing about personal journeys is a broad exploration of life, stories and storytelling. The resources listed here can be used as starting points for your own explorations, and offer links to similar works, information on topical issues, and collections that might inspire.
Not sure where to start? Read the following 1-pager of prompting questions.
- Unpacking the key ideas: Writing about personal journeys Produced by the Education team at the State Library Victoria
- Adichie, Chimamanda Ngozi, ‘ The Danger of a Single Story ’
- Duong, Amy, ‘ The Red Plastic Chair is a Vietnamese Cultural Institution, and My Anchor ’ (A)
- Hodge, Maya, ‘ bidngen ’ (A)
- López, Matthew, Walter’s speech (end of Part 1) from The Inheritance
How to respond
Responding to a text might involve:
"Explorations of ‘life’ or biographical explorations – telling our stories, telling others’ stories, the problem of telling stories, appropriation of stories, who tells the stories and our history, missing stories, marginalised and elevated stories. Students could explore personal milestones, the effects of key events on their lives, or explore these ideas through the eyes of others. Students who have migrated can explore their stories of movement and disruption. They can explore the expectations of change, and the language of a new place and culture. "
Visit the VCE English and English as an Additional Language Study Design for more guidance.
The Danger of a Single Story
Key text: The Danger of a Single Story , talk presented by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Task: Students can explore personal journeys from those who are not often highlighted in the Australian media landscape or consider arguing for more inclusive storytelling. They can consider the use of personal anecdotes, thesis statements and humour to put forward their message. Refer to p.14 of the VCE English and English as an Additional Language (EAL) Text List 2024 .
More Australian stories
- Between two worlds : 30 powerful voices, SBS Emerging Writers' Competition . (2022).
- Clarke, M.B., Yussuf, A. & Magan, M. (Eds). (2019). Growing up African in Australia . Black Inc.
- Findlay, C. (Ed.). (2021). Growing up Disabled in Australia . Black Inc.
- Growing up in Australia . (2021). Black Inc.
- Heiss, A. (Ed.). (2018). Growing up Aboriginal in Australia . Black Inc.
- Hodge (Ed.). (2015). Colouring the rainbowāÆ: blak queer and trans perspectivesāÆ: life stories and essays by First Nations people of Australia . Wakefield Press.
- Law, B. (Ed.). (2019). Growing up Queer in Australia . Black Inc.
- Morton, R. (Ed.). (2022). Growing up in Country Australia . Black Inc.
- Pallotta-Chiarolli, M (Ed.). (2018). Living and loving in diversityāÆ: an anthology of Australian multicultural queer adventures / Australian LGBTIQ Multicultural Council (AGMC) . Wakefield Press.
- Pung, A. (Ed.). (2008). Growing up Asian in Australia . Black Inc.
- Roots : home is who we are : voices from the SBS Emerging Writers' Competition . (2021).
I want to browse ...
Explore more Australian literature, poetry, drama and young adult fiction browsing collections in The Ian Potter Queen's Hall .
More inclusive storytelling
- Knight, L. (2023, March 15). Sensitivity readers: what publishings most polarising role is really about . Guardian.
- Salon des Refuses Virtual Tour at the National Trust
- What I did by Ann Morgan, from A year of reading around the world
- Reynolds, M. (2016). Translation: a very short introduction . Oxford University Press.
More from Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
- TED Talk Profile with links to other talks, articles, and works
- Half of a Yellow Sun by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
- Interview (30 April, 2009) in The Kenyon Review
- The Guardian
The Red Plastic Chair is a Vietnamese Cultural Institution
Key text: The Red Plastic Chair is a Vietnamese Cultural Institution, and My Anchor by Amy Duong
Task: Although specific to her own unique experiences, students could use Duong’s ideas to explore items of cultural, historical or nostalgic value and how these symbolise literal or metaphorical journeys. Refer to pp.14-15 of the VCE English and English as an Additional Language (EAL) Text List 2024 .
Some items of cultural, historical or nostalgic value
- Museum of Broken Relationships
- Political and union badges from the Riley and Ephemera Collection
- Map bandannas in the Library collection by Queer-ways Queer-ways maps the queer cartography of Australia, combining the queer stories and voices of past and present into a permanent, interactive record of being queer in Australia. Visit the Queer-ways website for more.
Find more realia by searching the Library catalogue.
Explore more
This work is part of the following anthology:
Framework of ideas
- Framework of ideas Outline of the Framework of Ideas
Key text: bidngen by Maya Hodge
Task: Students can explore the importance of language, culture and storytelling in their own journeys and can experiment with incorporating subheadings and phrases in languages other than English in their own writing. Refer to p.15 of the VCE English and English as an Additional Language (EAL) Text List 2024 .
Resources for your own writing
- Oxford Bilingual Dictionaries
- Finding items in languages other than English guide
Celebrating languages
Victorian Aboriginal Corporation for Languages Peak body for Aboriginal Languages revitalization in the state of Victoria, working with forty-four Language Groups and fourteen Lects in the state of Victoria and subsequent borders.
This organisation works with educators to develop plans and produce resources that support the needs of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander communities who wish to share their languages through schools, early learning centres and beyond. Explore projects and resources which may be useful to Indigenous language teachers, educators, Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander language teaching teams and schools looking to work with their local language custodians to share their languages through school and early learning programs.
- Wirlomin Noongar Language and Stories Noongar language revitalisation project based in Noongar Boodja (Country) in Western Australia
Other bilingual stories
- Rodrigues Fowler, Y. (2019, April 17). Top 10 bilingual books . The Guardian.
Walter's speech (end of Part 1) from The Inheritance
Key text: Walter’s speech (end of Part 1) from The Inheritance by Matthew López
Task: Students can explore how the younger generation can learn about the journeys of those who have come before them, experimenting with symbolism and the significance of setting in their own writing. Refer to p.15 of the VCE English and English as an Additional Language (EAL) Text List 2024 .
Stories from those who have come before
- Oral histories at the Library
- Archives of Sexuality and Gender
- Wayback Machine | Internet Archive Explore 26+ years of web history
Tools for your own storytelling
- Ferber, M. ( 1999 , 2007 ). A dictionary of literary symbols .
More from Matthew Lopez
- Find and read the full play, The Inheritance , from which this reading is taken.
- Discovery reviews and analyses of The Inheritance .
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- Tags: Framework of Ideas , Literary criticism , VCE EAL , VCE English , VCE English as an Additional Language , VCE English Language , VCE Framework of Ideas , VCE Literature , vce victorian_school_certificate english literature reviews books literary_criticism , vce_resources
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As Someone Who Ran Track & Field, Watching ShaāCarri Richardsonās Athletic Journey Has Been So Inspiring
I’ll never forget the feeling of being on a track: The excitement of warming up, the touch of your spiked shoes hitting the back of the starting block as you take your place, and the adrenaline that rushes through your body as you anxiously await the sound of the gun. I never imagined I’d feel the same excitement again until I watched the 2024 Paris Olympics . This time, it wasn’t me competing, but someone I’ve respected since I began racing: Sha’Carri Richardson .
On Aug. 3, Richardson placed second in the womenās 100-meter final at the 2024 Olympic Games , earning a silver Olympic medal in her debut. However, headlines after her race focused on her “failure” to win gold and being overshadowed by Saint Luciaās Julien Alfred’s victory . After being prohibited from competing in the 2020 Olympic Games due toĀ testing positive for marijuana use , Richardson has aspired to compete in the 2024 Paris Olympics. After qualifying for the event, Richardson said in an interview following the U.S. Nationals in 2023, “I’m not back; I’m better.”
Seeing her compete in the 2024 Summer Olympics proved to me that she had successfully achieved that statement. Being a long-time fan of hers made me relive my high school moments ā both fond memories and regrets.Ā
@nbcolympics The ShaāCarri stare. š #ParisOlympics #shacarririchardson #usatf #trackandfield #teamusa #olympics ā¬ original sound – NBC Olympics & Paralympics
To give a brief context into my track and field journey, we need to start from my elementary school days. As a kid, my favorite game was tag, and I especially loved being āit.ā I loved racing my friends and losing track of time in a lively sprint. During parent-teacher conferences, one thing I distinctly remember was my teachers telling my parents, āSiobhan can really run; you should sign her up for track and field.ā
I was also heavily influenced by my dad and older brother, the sporty members of my family ā my dad competed in track and field in high school, and my brother was involved in both football and track and field during his high school years. In 2016, when I was in high school, the question on everyoneās mind was if I would follow in their footsteps. My sophomore year, I did just that and joined the track and field team.
I specialized in sprinting, specifically the 100-meter, 200-meter, and 4 x 1 relay events. One thing I discovered early on was that, while everyone was right in believing that I could run fast, I couldn’t run for long due to my low stamina, which became noticeable during exercises. In practices, I was always one of the last people to finish miracle miles (for my school, it was just a mile that included running up and down the bleachers).Ā
I often finished last during these drills, which led to constant judgment from the coach. My slow efforts in practice began affecting my participation in competitions. Although I excelled in the shortest-metered sprints, my coach frequently placed me in the 400-meter and field events like the long jump and high jump, despite my lack of specific training in either of those areas.
For a long time, this damaged my confidence because it felt like people around me were not going to take a chance on me due to my performance in practice. During this time, watching other people’s track and field competitions calmed down my fears and helped me mentally. This is when I came across Richardson.Ā
I would watch videos of Richardson from her time on the Dallas Carter High School track team to her commitment to LSU . At the time, she was a newcomer to the track and field world, but her abilities were evident. What I appreciated the most was Richardson’s commanding presence on the track and her confidence in proving that she deserves recognition. Watching her race footage motivated me to show myself to my teammates and, more importantly, my coaches. I gradually began to win when I raced in sprinting events, and my coach took notice. Later in my sophomore year, I made the varsity team, which I remained part of until my senior year.Ā
Looking back at my time in high school, I realized that I had a lot of underlying regrets. I wished I had been more sure of myself and not lacked self-confidence, especially when it came to running. I also wished I had put more effort into proving myself to those who questioned my capabilities. I believe watchingĀ Richardsonās event in the 100-meter relay for Paris was a way for my inner self to heal. Richardson represents overcoming trial and error and showing that your past does not define your future. Her winning an Olympic silver medal is much more than just achieving second place; itās proof that determination can get you far.
- HC Athletic Club
- The 2024 Summer Olympics
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How to Write an Effective āAbout Meā Page (Examples Included!)Ā
An āAbout Meā page is one of the most crucial elements of any personal website, portfolio , or blog. Itās where visitors get to know who you are, what you do, and why they should care. Whether you're a freelancer , entrepreneur , or creative professional , this page can make or break a visitorās first impression of you.
Letās dive into the essentials of creating a standout one pager about yourself, provide actionable tips, and share examples to inspire you.
Add an āAbout Meā to your resume or portfolio and then put it to the test! Apply to these open jobs on The Muse Ā»
What is an āAbout Meā page?
An āAbout Meā page is a dedicated section on your website where you introduce yourself to your visitors. This page goes beyond a simple biography and a list of your credentials; it's an opportunity to convey your personality, share your story, and connect with your audience on a deeper level.
It often includes key elements such as a brief professional summary , personal anecdotes, and highlights of your skills and experiences. By providing a narrative of your journey, accomplishments, and aspirations, you create a relatable and authentic presence that can engage and build trust with your visitors.
An āAbout Meā page serves multiple purposes:
- It outlines your mission and vision, helping visitors understand what motivates you and what sets you apart.
- It can serve as a platform to showcase testimonials, notable projects, and any media coverage or recognition you have received.
- Your story helps humanize your brand. People connect with people, not faceless entities.
- It lets visitors know what they can expect from your site and how you can help them.
- A well-crafted āAbout Meā page can improve your websiteās SEO for Google by incorporating relevant keywords and phrases.
Where can you usually find āAbout Meā pages?
An āAbout Meā can be a valuable addition to various platforms and contexts. Here are some common uses:
- Personal website: Whether itās a blog or a personal brand site, an āAbout Meā page helps visitors understand who you are and why they should follow you.
- Portfolio: For creatives like designers, writers , and photographers, an āAbout Meā page showcases your background and expertise, helping potential clients or employers get to know you better.
- Resume: Adding an āAbout Meā section to your online resume provides a personal touch and highlights your unique strengths and career journey.
- Business website: Entrepreneurs and small business owners can use an āAbout Meā page to share their story, mission, and the values behind their business.
- Freelance profiles: On freelance platforms, an āAbout Meā page can differentiate you from other freelancers by highlighting your experience and skills.
- Social media profiles: Sites like LinkedIn benefit from a detailed āAbout Meā section, helping you network and connect with potential employers or collaborators.
- Author pages: For writers and authors, an āAbout Meā page helps readers connect with you on a personal level and understand the inspiration behind your work.
- E-commerce sites: Store owners can add an āAbout Meā page to build trust with customers by sharing their journey and the story behind their products.
- Professional associations: Members of professional organizations can use an āAbout Meā page to share their professional background, expertise, and contributions to their field.
Checklist for āAbout Meā pages
What to include in an āAbout Meā page? Effective content should include the following elements:
- Your name and profession : Clearly state who you are and what you do.
- A photo : Adding a photo humanizes your profile and makes it more relatable.
- Your story : Share your background, journey, and what inspired you to pursue your path.
- Your values and mission : Explain what drives you and what you aim to achieve.
- Your skills and expertise : Highlight your key skills, qualifications, and achievements.
- Testimonials : If applicable, include testimonials from clients or colleagues to build credibility.
- Contact information : Provide a way for visitors to get in touch with you.
How to write an āAbout Meā in 5 steps
Writing an āAbout Meā page involves balancing personal storytelling with professional insights. Here are five tips to help structure yours.
1. Start with a strongāand catchyāopening
Begin with a compelling hook that grabs the readerās attention. This could be an interesting fact, a personal anecdote, or a bold statement about your mission.
2. Who are you?
Provide a brief introduction that includes your name, profession, and a high-level overview of what you do. Make sure to keep it concise and engaging.
3. Tell your story
Narrate your journeyāhow you got started, the challenges youāve overcome, and the milestones youāve achieved. This is where you can infuse your personality and make your story relatable.
4. Highlight your expertise
Explain what you do and how you can help your audience. Call out your skills , qualifications, and any notable accomplishments.
5. Include a call to action (CTA)
A call to action is a prompt that tells your visitors what to do next, like contacting you, following you on social media, or checking out your portfolio. Make sure your CTA is clear and compelling so they know exactly what action to take.
Bonus tips on writing an āAbout Meā page
To write an āabout meā paragraph that not only introduces you effectively but also engages your audience and enhances your online presence, follow these recommendations:
- Know your audience: Understand who you are writing for. Tailor your tone and content to resonate with your target audience.
- Be authentic : Authenticity is key. Be genuine in your storytelling and avoid overly formal language.
- Keep it concise: While itās important to provide enough detail, avoid overwhelming your readers with too much information. Aim for clarity and brevity.
- Use visuals: Incorporate photos, videos, or infographics to make your page visually appealing and engaging.
- Optimize for SEO: Incorporate relevant keywords naturally throughout your āAbout Meā page to improve search engine visibility.
- Update regularly: Your āAbout Meā page should evolve as you grow. Regularly update it to reflect new experiences, skills, and achievements.
āAbout Meā template text
How to write an āAbout Meā? Hereās a simple and general template to get you started:
[Your name]
[Your profession/title]
Introduction:
Hi, Iām [Your name], a [Your profession] with [number] years of experience in [your field]. Iām passionate about [your passion] and have dedicated my career to [your mission].
Your story:
My journey began [describe how you started]. Over the years, Iāve [mention key milestones and achievements]. My work has been featured in [mention notable publications or collaborations].
Your expertise:
I specialize in [mention your key skills and areas of expertise]. My clients have included [mention notable clients or projects].
Call to action:
If youād like to [mention what you want your readers to do next ā contact you, follow you, etc.], feel free to [provide contact details or a CTA].
āAbout Meā page examples for different scenarios
You might be looking for information on how to write your āAbout Meā page for your new blog, maybe your LinkedIn profile, or other context. These could have some differences, so find the āAbout Meā paragraph example that suits you best.
For a website: āAbout Meā blog example
Hi, Iām Sarah, a passionate travel blogger who has visited over 50 countries. I share my adventures, tips, and travel guides to help you plan your next trip. My journey began in 2010 when I left my corporate job to explore the world. Since then, Iāve been featured in numerous travel magazines and have collaborated with top travel brands. Follow along as I explore new destinations and share my insights.
Portfolio āAbout Meā example
Hello! Iām Mark, a freelance graphic designer with over 10 years of experience in creating stunning visuals for brands. My work includes logo design, branding, and digital marketing materials. I started my career working for a design agency, but my passion for creativity led me to freelance. My clients include Fortune 500 companies and startups alike. Take a look at my portfolio to see my work and letās collaborate on your next project.
For your resume: What is an example of best āAbout Meā?
Iām Emily, a marketing professional with a decade of experience in digital marketing and brand strategy. I specialize in SEO, content marketing, and social media management. My career highlights include leading successful campaigns for high-profile clients and earning industry awards. Iām currently seeking new opportunities to leverage my skills and drive impactful marketing initiatives.
Other type of site: āAbout Meā example
As a bestselling author, Iāve always been passionate about storytelling. My journey began with a love for reading, which soon transformed into writing my own stories. Over the years, Iāve published five novels and numerous short stories. My work explores themes of love, loss, and resilience, drawing inspiration from my personal experiences. When Iām not writing, you can find me at book signings or conducting writing workshops.
Home ā Essay Samples ā Life ā Development ā Personal Growth and Development: My Journey of Self-Discovery
Personal Growth and Development: My Journey of Self-discovery
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Olympians Are Taking Control of Their Fertility ā I Wish I'd Done the Same
Former Olympic runner Alexi Pappas recently revealed she froze her eggs in her early 30s because she wanted to buy herself time. In an effort to empower others to be proactive to preserve their fertility, she wrote in Outside , "I encourage any woman, whether you are single or partnered, whether you think you know what you want in the next five years or you have no idea, to consider freezing your eggs."
Pappas isn't the only top athlete to prioritize her fertility. Several other Olympians have followed this same proactive path, fearing age could impact their ability to build a family. This includes hurdler Lolo Jones, who froze her eggs in 2022 , and four-time Olympic gold medalist in bobsledding, Kallie Humphries, who froze her eggs and underwent IVF in 2021.
This is a growing trend among young women under 38 who are planning ahead with cryopreservation of their eggs, and according to experts, it's the best way to ensure future motherhood. I wish I had done the same.
When I was single in my 20s, my career and social life took priority, and I didn't even think about trying to conceive. My mother got pregnant without any need for medical intervention, so I was surprised when my husband and I wound up struggling with infertility for a decade.
During that time, I endured over a dozen fertility cycles, close to 40 gynecological procedures, and suffered four recurrent miscarriages in one year. Then, when I finally became pregnant with my son, I was labeled as being "advanced maternal age" and having a " geriatric pregnancy " due to being almost 40. This required additional monitoring and caused unexpected complications during pregnancy. If I'd frozen my eggs when I was younger, I would have had an easier path to motherhood.
Experts Featured in This Article
Jaime Knopman , MD, is an endocrinologist and the director of fertility preservation for CCRM Fertility.
Alease Barnes , BS, is a certified embryologist and the founder of ReproMedia.
While there are risks associated with the preservation process, this proactive method increases the likelihood of pregnancy and birth. In an NYU Langone study, 70 percent of women who yielded a rate of 20 oocytes or higher carried a child full term. The author of the study, James Grifo, MD, PhD, also indicated that multiple retrieval procedures increased success rates.
"The earlier you freeze your eggs, the better the quality will be," endocrinologist Jaime Knopman, MD, tells PS. "You will get more and they will have more potential for success," Dr. Knopman adds. "I always compare them to lottery tickets. When you are young and you freeze your eggs, it's like someone whispering the first three numbers in your ear; that increases your chances to win. As you get older, it's as though you have no intel, so your chances of winning go down."
Even though she ended up raising me alone, my mother believed in the traditional values of "settling down," getting married, then having a child. I saw firsthand how hard being a mom was after my parents divorced. It solidified my intent to wait until I had a partner to raise a family.
I also assumed it would be easy for me to conceive, knowing my mom got pregnant right away at 22. When I was in high school and college, she advised me to protect myself using contraceptives to avoid an unwanted pregnancy, so I tried a combination of the birth control pill and condoms. I was so focused on not getting pregnant too soon, that I never even considered what to do if I couldn't get pregnant when the time was right. That is, until I couldn't conceive naturally on my own.
My perspective has changed since then, based on what I know now: freezing your eggs earlier increases your chances of having a baby and could prevent exhausting and expensive procedures, not to mention the heartache of infertility and pregnancy loss.
When I started IVF, I thought it would be a quick solution, but it didn't work right away. It took years of IUIs and then IVF to finally have our first child. We returned to try for our second, and once again my high expectations were shattered.
After another few years of failed cycles and recurrent miscarriages, I was thrilled to welcome my second child at 39. Due to my age, I had to be monitored by both an ob-gyn and a maternal fetal medicine doctor for the entire pregnancy. It was anxiety-inducing and I wish I would have frozen my eggs earlier; it could have prevented the prolonged treatments and factors that come with a high-risk pregnancy.
"As we age, our eggs get worse at repairing DNA, which leads to aneuploidy, a genetic abnormality," says embryologist Alease Barnes, BS. "Over the age of 35 our rate of chromosomal conditions such as trisomy 21, 18, and 13 rise in probability." These conditions can result in pregnancy loss, as well as a range of disabilities including Down syndrome.
As a result, egg freezing is becoming more common. The National Institute of Health found in January 2024 that women are "driven by feelings of fear" to freeze their eggs, which saw an increase during the pandemic. This concern is based on a number of factors, including age impacting egg quality, lack of a suitable partner, and the potential threat of access to fertility treatment .
This approach, referred to as "social egg freezing" by the NIH, affords women the opportunity to "finish their studies, become financially stable and achieve their professional goals." It's no surprise then that there was a 400 percent increase in the rate of egg freezing between 2012 and 2020, according to a study in the Society of Assisted Reproductive Technology originally reported by The New York Times in 2022.
Egg retrievals cost between $8,000 and $15,000 per cycle, while storage fees can run from $500 to $1000 per year, if you have to pay out of pocket. Some insurance plans now pay for IVF and fertility preservation coverage, depending upon your plan and the state you live in , although we should fight for more coverage. And yet, despite the financial and emotional costs, this uptick shows that more are taking control of their fertility, in hopes of having a better chance later on, once they are ready to conceive.
While I'm grateful for my two beautiful children, I wish I could have frozen my eggs years sooner. Alexi Pappas and these other Olympians have the right idea. I urge women to consider the option of cryopreservation, as early as they can. If you can afford it, it's worth the price to preserve your chance at motherhood.
Lisa McCarty is a writer and women's health advocate. In addition to PS, her work has been featured by The New York Times, HuffPost, Newsweek, "Today," and more.
- Personal Essay
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All About Me: a Personal Journey. Exploring oneself is a lifelong journey filled with unique experiences, challenges, and growth. In this essay, I will take you on a comprehensive journey through my life, sharing insights into my background, values, interests, and aspirations. This narrative is a snapshot of who I am and the factors that have ...
In conclusion, my personal journey has been a path of growth and discovery, shaped by my experiences, relationships, and the pursuit of self-reflection. Through my passion for writing, I have found a means of self-expression and storytelling that has allowed me to connect with others on a deeper level. Additionally, the challenges I have faced ...
As a student, my journey so far has been full of challenges, growth, and self-discovery. I have learned a lot about myself, my abilities, and my passions. In this essay, I will reflect on my journey as a student, highlighting the milestones, struggles, and achievements that have shaped my academic life.
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In this paper "My Journey Of Self Discovery Essay Examples" we will talk about why self discovery is important and why we need to do it. High school has... read full essay for free
In a great personal statement, we should be able to get a sense of what fulfills, motivates, or excites the author. These can be things like humor, beauty, community, and autonomy, just to name a few. So when you read back through your essay, you should be able to detect at least 4-5 different values throughout.
Learn to transform life's journey into compelling essays. š Share personal stories, reflect on memories, and craft narratives that engage and inspire.
Personal essays relate intimate thoughts and experiences to universal truths. Here's how to tell your story in a way that resonates.
My journey as a college student has been an exciting and challenging experience. As a student, I have encountered numerous challenges that have helped me grow and mature as an individual. In this essay, I will reflect on my personal journey towards academic and personal growth, highlighting the experiences, challenges, and lessons that have shaped me.
In this post, we will share 10 different personal statements that were all written by real students. We will also provide commentary on what each essay did well and where there is room for improvement, so you can make your personal statement as strong as possible!
I start understood there was so much to life-challenges, improvements, knowledge, achievements and learn how to be independent. This is why the theme of this work "My Journey Towards Personal Growth Essay" is very relevant in our life. Do not use plagiarized sources.
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Essays about journeys require recounting the events of your travel. Discover our guide with examples and prompts to help you write your essay.
In conclusion, my journey from struggles to success has been a long and challenging one. However, through hard work, determination, and perseverance, I was able to overcome my challenges and achieve success in both my personal and professional life. I hope that my story will serve as inspiration for others who may be facing similar struggles ...
Personal Mission Statement To constantly be striving to be the best version of myself - in my job, with my health and fitness, with my relationships with family and friends, and with my emotional well-being. My values essay will outline the principles that guide me through life.
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Writing about personal journeys is a broad exploration of life, stories and storytelling. The resources listed here can be used as starting points for your own explorations, and offer links to similar works, information on topical issues, and collections that might inspire.
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My Personal Journey Essay Decent Essays 910 Words 4 Pages Open Document My Personal Journey At this point in my life, the last thing I expected to do was to have the courage to follow my lifelong dream of being in the healthcare profession as an Occupational Therapist Assistant.
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