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When Is The Best Time For Wedding Speeches?

October 25, 2018 / Simon Alexander / Magician Blog , Tips & Advice / 0 comments

Speeches At The Beginning Or End Of The Wedding Breakfast?

Couples often ask my advice on what makes a really good wedding day.  And the question that I’m asked most often is, “When is the best time for wedding speeches? Should we do the speeches at the beginning or the end of the meal?”

Throughout my career as a professional magician , I’ve attended well over a thousand weddings and I’ve seen a LOT of speeches.

Now, there are many details that I think should be left to the personal whims of the happy couple.  I’m sorry to say that the timing of the speeches isn’t one of them.  Even though it seems just a small detail, the point at which you make your speeches can make a HUGE impact on your big day.

So what is the best time for wedding speeches? Let’s look at why speeches are traditionally made after the meal and why people sometimes break with convention?

A wedding speech

You get the best reactions by performing speeches at the right time.

Can’t I Enjoy The Meal Too?

So, you’ve planned your delicious wedding breakfast and you really want to enjoy it. The only thing that’s preventing you is the looming fear of performing your speech at the end of the meal.

There are very few people who genuinely enjoy speaking in public. In fact, if you type “top ten fears” into Google, you’ll find that public speaking usually appears within the top five.

So, doesn’t it make good sense to perform the speeches at the beginning of the meal?  That way, the speakers can relax and enjoy the festivities too.

Hold on a second, because it might be a bit more complicated than that. Here are a few things to consider before you decide.

Before-Dinner Speakers?

Have you ever noticed that, although many people make their livings as after-dinner speakers, you’ll never see an advert for “before-dinner speakers”. Why is that?

Ask any professional speaker about the slot before the meal, and they’ll tell you that it’s known as “the graveyard shift”.  The part of the day when all that everyone is focussed on is filling their rumbling tummies.  The Last thing that people want to do at this point is listen to speeches.

If you’re genuinely worried about your speech, you’ll want the most receptive audience possible. So you have the choice of performing to a “dry” hungry crowd before the meal, or a full “merry” crowd after the meal.  From a performer’s perspective the best time for wedding speeches will be at the end of the meal.

(Just as an aside, if you’d like to have your crowd properly warmed up before the speeches, check out my Wedding Emcee page.  All the best performers use a warm-up man!)

Back to the main event, here’s something else that you may not have considered…

What Type Of Wedding Day Are You Planning?

Most couples want their guests to enjoy a drink on their big day… and most guests know their limits.  But, of course, sometimes the occasional guest might overdo it… and this can put a bit of downer on the day.  So, why am I mentioning this here?

By arranging your speeches at the beginning of the meal, your thirsty guests have the perfect opportunity for thirty minutes of drinking on empty-stomachs.  It’s a small matter to consider but it can set the tone for a really messy day.

If you really can’t hold off from the speeches until the end, then consider speaking to your venue about making sure that the tables aren’t groaning under the weight of fine wines until afterwards.

The Catering

As I mentioned earlier, I’ve attended a LOT of weddings.  In all that time, I’ve rarely listened to speeches that haven’t overrun by at least a few minutes. (I once had the dubious pleasure of listening to a best man’s speech that overran by over an hour. I kid you not!)

Now, for me, that’s inconvenient. For the caterer’s, it could be a disaster!

Fine dining on a large scale needs precision timing.  Speeches that significantly overrun at the beginning of the meal can mean that ALL your courses could be ruined.

By now, you’ll have gathered that I’m not a fan of early speeches.  But if you really can’t bring yourself to do them at the end, it’s imperative that give your speakers an ABSOLUTE time deadline.  (As a rule of thumb, seven minutes is considered the ideal length for a wedding speech.) Fail to do this and you run the real risk of ruining your wonderful meal.

A beautiful wedding table setting

Speeches at the right time will help YOU to relax.

But I REALLY hate public speaking!

Even as a professional entertainer, when it came to making my own wedding speech, I have to admit that I was pretty nervous. (When people know that you perform for a living they have high expectations … and I hate that!)

But, of all the things that people said to me beforehand, a comment from may father-in-law stuck with me the most. He said, “Simon, no matter how many speeches you do in your life, you’ll never have more people on your side than at your own wedding. So just suck it up and get on with it!”  And that sounds like good advice to me!

So, I hope you find that little pearl of wisdom as useful as I did and that this article has  helped you decide the best time for wedding speeches on your big day.

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Author: Simon Alexander

Simon Alexander is a full-time professional magician based in Berkshire, United Kingdom. He performs close-up magic or magic from the stage at corporate events, weddings and private parties all around the world.

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The Wedding Speech Order You Should Follow at Your Reception

We outline traditional and modern approaches so you can choose the flow that works best for you.

Getty Images / KristianGjorgjiev

In This Article

When you think about it, wedding speeches are to the reception what vows are to the ceremony. They inject emotion, joy, and personality into your event—and give all guests a chance to know the couple (and the people closest to them) a bit better. Since these special toasts are arguably one of the most important parts of your party, you likely want to do all you can to ensure they go off without a hitch, from timing them right to observing the correct flow.

As with most big-day details, there is a traditional order of wedding speeches to follow. While this age-old format makes a lot of sense—it gives your wedding's biggest VIPs (your parents!) the opportunity to speak first—it isn't mandatory; in fact, there are plenty of ways to adjust the wedding speech order at your celebration so that it better reflects your family or your priorities. “Nowadays, couples have their choice of following whatever order they’d like—or doing away with speeches altogether,” says wedding planners Bianca Hall and Erica Vanco of Estera Events . “Weddings only need to follow the rules and values that are important to you as a couple.”

Meet the Expert

  • Bianca Hall and Erica Vanco are the co-owners and lead planners of Estera Events , a firm based in Chicago. 
  • Bree Swartz is the owner and creative director of Blossom Events , a Brooklyn-based full-service boutique design and planning company.
  • Kelly McWilliams , the founder of her eponymous wedding planning business in southwest Florida, has been in the industry since 2002.
  • A wedding and event planner and the founder of Rachel Behar Events , Rachel Behar is based in Brooklyn.

It's important to remember that while wedding speeches hold deep value, one size doesn't necessarily fit all. To help you navigate both the traditional and modern wedding speech order, we tapped Hall, Vanco, and a mix of other wedding planners for their best advice.

When Should Wedding Speeches Happen During the Reception?

Before we get into the order of wedding speeches, it's important to first determine when they should take place. Should the slate of toasts happen before or after the meal? According to our experts, there's a sweet spot: It's best to start speeches when food service begins. You have a few options. You can time a few speeches at the start of the meal, during the salad course, or begin during the main one, which often takes a little longer to get through. Another option is to hold off on speeches until dinner is just about finished; this allows satiated attendees to digest before getting back up for a full—and uninterrupted—night of dancing.

Wedding planner Kelly McWilliams, who has it down to a science, recommends the following reception timeline, with speeches peppered in strategically:

  • Introductions
  • First dance
  • Parent speeches
  • First course
  • Best man or maid of honor speech
  • Best man or maid of honor speech (the better speaker always goes last!)
  • Cake cutting
  • Second course
  • Parent dances
  • Couple speech
  • Dance floor opens

The Traditional Order of Wedding Speeches

The traditional wedding speech order is a little old-school. “It originated as a way to reflect the dynamics of the families involved and symbolize them blending together on this special occasion—beginning with the bride’s parents, then the groom’s parents, followed by the groom and the best man,” say Hall and Vanco. “The curated sequence was also meant to conclude the formalities with lighthearted anecdotes and camaraderie, leading into the rest of the celebration.”

Below, you'll find the traditional order of wedding speeches, which is as follows: the father (or parents) of the bride, the father (or parents) of the groom, the groom (or couple), the maid of honor, and finally, the best man. 

1. The Father of the Bride or Parents of the Bride's Speech

Historically, the bride's father —or both of her parents—take the first speech of the night. “This is typically the way it was done because the parents of the bride would traditionally pay for the wedding, and having them kick off the toasts indicates to guests that they were the hosts,” say Hall and Vanco. 

2. The Father of the Groom or Parents of the Groom's Speech

The father or parents of the bride are usually followed by the father or parents of the groom. This formality gives a nod of respect to another essential couple of the evening. “Having the parents of the couple kick off the celebration is highly recommended. They are full of love, joy, and gratitude, and really sets the tone for the evening,” says Bree Swartz, a wedding and event planner.

3. The Groom or Couple's Speech

Tradition indicates that the groom (or both the bride and the groom!) make a brief speech next as a way of thanking everyone for gathering to celebrate. “Having the bride and groom toast next keeps the energy up—and they can express their gratitude to their parents and guests,” says Swartz. (This may be the traditional approach, but many couples give their toasts first or last—as always, do what's best for you).

4. The Best Man and Maid of Honor's Speeches

Though the traditional wedding order would jump straight to the best man's speech, these days the maid of honor typically always says a few words, too. The best man’s speech is usually saved for last.

It is typical for these wedding party VIPs to come at the end of the speech portion of the evening—and their remarks do typically follow the parents'. “Having the best man and maid of honor raise a glass towards the end of dinner helps kick off those party vibes that guests are looking for when it's time to hit the dance floor,” says Swartz. 

Getty Images / Anchiy

How to Switch Up Your Wedding Speech Order

While the traditional wedding speech order does provide a blueprint (and offers a good model for honoring your wedding's VIPs), it certainly isn’t set in stone. “The speech order may change based on various factors such as family dynamics, cultural traditions, or personal preferences,” Hall and Vanco say. And it's possible—probably, even—that you won't do all speeches at once. All of our planners champion couples to make their own decisions that align with their vision. “The only 'wrong' wedding speech order is one that doesn’t represent your style or feel right for you,” says Swartz. There are plenty of ways couples can shake up wedding speeches however they see fit.

Reduce the Number of Speakers

Many couples choose to shorten the length of their ceremony, and they can take the same approach during the speech portion of the reception to improve its overall flow. “We like keeping this to three speech-givers maximum,” says wedding planner Rachel Behar. “We’ve all seen them drag on and everyone just wants to get to dancing!” 

Space the Speeches Out

If having a full suite of speeches is important to you, but you want to keep everyone's energy up, take a brief pause; this can have the same impact as curtailing the total number of toasts. “We usually recommend a break in toasts before inviting the best man and maid of honor up. This gives guests a breather, and they are more likely to stay present when taking in two to three speeches at a time,” says Swartz. 

Stick to the Rehearsal Dinner Only

It’s quite common to hear speeches at rehearsal dinners these days. In fact, “some couples may choose to do all speeches the night before at the rehearsal dinner, rather than having any on the wedding day,” say Hall and Vanco. This will definitely encourage a simpler, tighter reception, and allow those preparing speeches to relax and enjoy the main event—but this certainly isn't for everyone.

Let the Most Nervous Person Go First

For couples unconcerned with the traditional order of wedding speeches, allowing the most anxious speaker to take the mic first is a compassionate choice. “If anyone is naturally nervous, have them go first,” affirms Behar. Remeber that “weddings need only follow the rules and values that are important to you as a couple,” Hall and Vanco say, so if ensuring that everyone stays as comfortable as possible during your party is a priority, this might be the right option for you.

Include Other Speakers

If the couple has a very important person in their life who isn’t necessarily a parent, maid of honor, or best man, there is no reason why they shouldn’t make a speech. “The only requirement is that this person be meaningful to the couple and should be a leading force in their lives, and that it feels natural and special,” says Behar. Hall and Vanco agree: “While each speaker contributes to the celebration, no one speaker is essential, allowing flexibility for couples to tailor the order as they see fit.”

Tips for Writing a Memorable Wedding Speech 

A great wedding speech is sweet, succinct, and best expressed when memorized—though Hall and Vanco say printing it off is fine. Here are some of our experts' best tips for writing a wedding speech that knocks it out of the park.

Speak from the Heart

Sure, we live in the era of AI—but your wedding toast should't be penned by a robot. "We recommend writing from the heart,” says Swartz. All of our experts agree that writing honestly about your connection to the couple and their best qualities makes for the best possible toast.

Follow an Outline 

Adhering to a loose structure, though, will help you stay on track, and there are plenty of online templates to lean on. “Go for an engaging opening, share meaningful anecdotes or memories, and offer well-wishes for their future together, while maintaining a balance of sincerity and humor throughout,” Hall and Vanco suggest as a framework. McWilliams echos the importance of nailing the opening, so be sure to focus on this part as you build out your toast: "Wedding speeches that resonate most start with a story and not an introduction," says McWilliams.

Thinking about the best way to open your toast? Skip the obvious first line, “For those who don’t know me...” and lead with a story, instead. "The truth is that nobody cares who you are until you tell a story that attaches you to the couple," advises McWilliams.

Consider the Audience 

If you’ve grown up with the bride or groom, there’s a good chance you have some colorful stories to share. However, the ability to read the room is key. “Consider the audience and tailor your content to resonate both with both the couple and their guests,” say Hall and Vanco. Save those crazy college stories for the bachelorette party. "Stories that contain anything that could embarrass the couple or anyone in the room should not be included," adds McWilliams.

Keeping your speech concise is also crucial for keeping your audience engaged. “No more than five minutes,” confirm Hall and Vanco.

Focus on the Couple

Sure, you should (at some point) introduce yourself—but remember who the speech is about. Focus on stories about the couple; you should be a secondary character, not the main one. “Give insight to the couple from when they were younger, to their school years, to now. Shine a light on who they were and who they have become,” says Behar. You can then parlay your observations. “Share the moment you knew this time was different for these two love birds or when you knew they were the one for each other,” offers Swartz. 

Offer Advice 

If you’re in a long-term, committed relationship, a wedding speech can be an ideal time to offer sage advice. “Find words of wisdom or draw from your own experience on what it takes to build a lasting partnership, and raise a glass as you share your wishes for this next step in their journey together,” says Swartz. If you don't have the personal experience to back these sentiments up, stick to warm words, instead. "I think including your personal hopes for their future is very thoughtful," says McWilliams, who suggests saying something like, "My hope for you, and I think all of us here, is that you have a lifetime of the love and happiness that you have always shown us and that you are feeling here today."

Tips for Delivering a Memorable Wedding Speech

Crafting a great speech is important, but delivery is everything. Set yourself up for success with some of these public speaking tips.

Print It Out (and Use a Large Font)

To avoid looking disengaged and oddly lit, our experts recommend not reading off your phone. Instead, print or write out your speech in a large typeface. “It is typically dark in the room and if there are lights, they are very bright,” says Behar. “The larger the font, the easier it will be for you to read.” 

Remember That Practice Makes Perfect 

Familiarizing yourself with your material is so important—we cannot overstate this. “Practice your speech beforehand to build confidence and ensure a smooth delivery,” Hall and Vanco say. If possible, read your speech out loud for another person you trust to gauge the audience’s reaction and get comfortable with flow.

Speak Slowly

Though you might be nervous, giving a speech isn’t like completing a race—faster is not better. Speak slowly and clearly while focusing on the couple. “Making eye contact with the couple can help you focus on the gift you’re giving them versus focusing on the crowd of people,” says Swartz. 

Taking space to breath will also keep your pace where it needs to be: “Embrace the moment with enthusiasm and sincerity, and remember to breathe and take pauses as needed,” Hall and Vanco suggest. If you’ve built in some laughs or tearful reactions, give them time to play out. 

Above all else, take control of the moment and stay calm. “Remember why this is meaningful to you,” says Behar. Additionally, Swartz suggests taking deep inhales and even slower exhales to help you feel grounded. “I’ve seen some ladies take off their heels before they toast so they feel extra grounded, and I’m here for it,” she says.

Ultimately, those giving speeches should practice and speak sincerely. And when it comes to the order of those speeches? Couples should do whatever they want. “This is your night to celebrate your love in your own way, and you should be nothing but excited to have your chosen loved ones raise a glass to you,” says Swartz.

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The Order of Speeches at a Wedding: Who Goes First, Second, and Third?

When it comes to speeches at a wedding, there is a specific order that they should be delivered in if you want to follow a traditional wedding speech order.

This can vary depending on the culture or religion of the couple getting married, but there are some general guidelines that apply to most weddings.

Who Should Give the First Speech at a Wedding?

The most important thing to remember is this is your wedding day – whatever the traditions may be, there are no hard and fast rules to the order of wedding speeches.

Ultimately, you can choose the order of speeches and, most importantly, which key members from your wedding party you choose to speak to celebrate the happy couple at the wedding reception.

The traditional order for wedding speeches is as follows:

1. the father of the bride or parents of the bride speech, 2. the groom speech, 3. the best man speech.

Traditionally in the UK the father of the bride, or parents of the bride, opens the speeches by welcoming the guests and thanking them for coming. The father of the bride’s speech traditionally welcomes the bride’s partner into their family and may also include a few words reflecting on the bride and groom with some heartfelt stories.

The father of the bride speech may also include a toast to absent friends and family members, before raising a toast to the newly married couple. Some people also use the father the bride speech as an opportunity to thank everyone who has contributed to the cost of the wedding.

Following the traditional wedding speech order, the groom’s speech comes after the father of the bride’s speech. The groom’s speech may include a few words thanking the guests for attending and their gifts. The groom’s speech should also include a thank you to the bride’s parents as well as the groom’s parents.

The groom also often gives out any thank you gifts to the wedding party as well as toasting and complimenting the maid of honour and bridesmaids. If the bride’s parents are hosting the wedding, a groom’s toast should also be raised to them to acknowledge their contribution to the wedding.

The final person to speak following a traditional wedding speech order is the best man. The best man speech is often one of the most awaited moment of the wedding day so the best man may often feel under pressure to make his speech memorable! And the groom may well be feeling the pressure wondering what funny stories the best man’s speech is going to reveal!

Along with the funny stories and anecdotes, the best man often echoes the groom’s speech by complimenting the maid of honour and bridesmaids. The best man’s speech traditionally ends with the final toast to the bride and groom.

Do You Have to Follow a Wedding Speech Order?

Absolutely not! Whilst there may be a traditional order, you can choose your speech givers – be it wedding party members or a close family friend. It’s your wedding celebration and the speeches should be a time to celebrate you and your bride or groom in the way you want to – regardless of the traditional wedding speech order.

Just as the choice of food at a wedding breakfast is a personal choice, wedding speeches are a personal choice too. Choose whomever you would most like to tell your wedding guests funny stories from your past or a few words from the heart. The speeches are a memorable part of your day and you should take some time when wedding planning to think about what would work best for your wedding reception.

How Many Toasts Are Customary at a Wedding?

Most speeches will have one toast, at the end of the speech. Some speeches may include two or three toasts – such as the groom’s speech when toasting the maid of honour and bridesmaids as well as the bride’s parents – but ideally stick to one wedding toast per speech if possible. Too many toasts and your speech is toast!

Are speeches given before or after the meal at weddings?

Traditionally the speeches are given at the end of the meal – the wedding breakfast. However a bride and groom may often decide during the wedding planning stage to hold the wedding speeches before the wedding breakfast is served so the speech givers can relax and enjoy the meal without worrying about delivering their wedding speech.

Again the timing of the speeches are a matter of personal choice. If you have a wedding planner, ask for their advice as depending on the timings of the day, you may choose to serve the meal before the speeches so that guests are comfortable and not staving off hunger pangs!

Think of weddings you’ve been to for wedding inspiration – could their wedding reception, from the perspective of a wedding guest, have been improved if wedding speeches had been before or after the meal? Or perhaps even in between courses to keep people interested? Remember this is your wedding reception – you know your guests and your wedding ideas are unique to you to make the day your own.

Conclusion: the order of speeches at wedding

Your wedding reception is exactly that – YOUR wedding reception  is up to you . Don’t feel pressure to stick to a traditional wedding speech order if that is not what you want to do.

Choose the people from your wedding party who you think would be happy to give a wedding speech and who would add the most to your wedding celebration.

Speeches are personal – and can come from anyone in your wedding party. From the bride’s family, the groom’s family, bridesmaids, the maid of honour, the best man, family friends, mother of the bride, father of the bride, and indeed the groom or the bride – anyone can give a wedding speech.

Choose what is best for your wedding day and don’t feel pressured to follow the tradition of most weddings. If the traditional wedding speech order works for you that’s great! If not then mix up the wedding speech order, who gives a wedding speech or a simple wedding toast.

A great speech can make a wedding – so the most important thing to remember when wedding planning and choosing who will give a speech is to choose people in your wedding party who are happy and comfortable to give a speech.

Not every best man wants to stand up and address the room with anecdotes about the groom – they may feel more comfortable to give a brief best man speech and let the maid of honour regale the room with tales of their friendship with the bride!

Equally, it may be you find the mother of the bride, rather than the father of the bride would be more suited to giving a wedding speech.

It’s your day – follow the traditional wedding speech order or do it in your own unique style.

Above all, relax and have the most wonderful wedding reception that’s perfect for you and your wedding party!

We hope this article helps answer your questions about the Top Table at a wedding and helps with your own plans!

And don’t forget, if you’re looking for the perfect barn wedding venue with stunning onsite accommodation , then look no further than Bredenbury Court Barns!

We have everything you need to make your barn wedding dreams a reality.

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Wedding Speeches – Traditions and Tips

by Louise Wearmouth | Mar 13, 2019 | Wedding Planning Help | 0 comments

Wedding Speeches

Wedding Speeches

Wedding Speeches

So today I’ll try to answer all these questions and offer some suggestions about how to approach the wedding speeches for same sex weddings. 

What Is The Order For The Speeches?

The traditional order for the speeches is:

·     Father of the Bride ·     Groom ·     Best Man

However, lots of brides are choosing to say a few words now so in that case the order should be

·     Father of the Bride ·     Groom ·     Bride ·     Best Man

I always advise caution with the number and length of speeches.  It’s really easy for them to go on and on and your guests will drift off and quite frankly be bored!  Remember, your family jokes might be great fun for close family but your friends may have no idea what you’re talking about 🙂 

Father Of The Bride Speech

Typically the father of the bride will speak first.  In his speech he should welcome the guests to the wedding and thank them all for coming. 

He also should welcome the groom into the family.  It’s also customary for the father of the bride to toast absent family and friends. 

The father of the bride should then talk about how lovely the bride looks, share a few stories about her and tell everyone how proud he is of her.  Finally he should praise the groom, talk about what a great couple they are and raise a toast to the newly weds. 

Father of the Bride Speech

Image Credit: Shutter Go Click

The Groom’s Speech

The father’s speech leads into the groom’s speech who should start by responding to the toast made by the bride’s father. 

Typically the groom’s main focus is ‘thank you.’  So he needs to thank the guests for coming, for the gifts they have provided and also thank both sets of parents. 

The groom compliments his new bride, making comments about beautiful she looks. 

At this point, it’s customary to hand out any thank you gifts you have bought.  These would usually be for parents, bridal party and anyone else who has been a big help in your planning journey. 

The groom then raises two toasts.  One to the bridesmaids and the second one to the bride’s parents if they are hosting (funding) the wedding. 

Shocked face during wedding speech

Image Credit: Katie Dervin

The Bride’s Speech 

If the bride is making a speech, it usually happens after the groom’s speech. 

Typically the bride will again thank everyone for coming and if her parents have paid for the wedding, she will thank them.  Even if they haven’t paid for the day, I think it’s nice for the bride to thank both sets of parents for their help and support. 

The bride will thank her bridesmaids and she could give them her gifts rather than the groom doing this. 

Finally she will thank her groom and maybe tell a few stories about him.  She will then raise a toast to everyone. 

Best Man’s Speech

Now the best man’s speech comes at the end to finish off the speeches.  Everyone expects the best man to be funny so there’s a lot of pressure on him to deliver. 

The best man should thank the bridesmaids and congratulate the couple, saying a few nice words about them as a couple. 

The best man then shares a few funny stories about the groom.  I always advise the best man to think carefully about the stories he’s going to share.  Yes it’s fine to share a few drunken antics to raise a laugh but be sensitive and don’t share anything that’s going to offend anyone and watch your language. Remember you probably have a broad age range in the room.  

Finally the best man should read out any messages from friends or family who haven’t been able to attend the wedding.  And then lead a final toast to the happy couple. 

Best Man's Speech

Image Credit: Katie Dervin Photography

Speeches for Same Sex Weddings

Obviously the usual wedding speech traditions don’t work for same sex weddings.  The good news is that you can choose who you would like to speak and therefore you design your own day. 

So for example, you could ask one parent on each side to make a speech.  This enables you to choose the parents who will feel most comfortable doing this. 

You can ask your best man, best woman, maid of honour to make a speech or more than one of them.  You can ask another family member or a close friend who knows you really well to say a few words. 

I still think it’s nice for at least one of you to make a speech, to thank your guests and anyone who’s helped you with the wedding and supported you. 

But basically, it’s your choice – there are no traditions here for you to break so go with what feels right for your day. 

A Toast During Wedding Speeches

When to have your speeches

Traditionally, the speeches take place after the wedding breakfast.  But you can easily change this if you prefer. 

I think it’s quite nice to do the speeches before your wedding breakfast.  It helps to keep them more focussed and shorter as everyone is hungry!!

Or you could space them out a little, so maybe do one before the food, one between courses and the rest after the meal?  The choice is yours and you can choose how you do this to make it fit the schedule of your day. 

There are lots of online resources where you can get help in actually writing a speech.  I can’t profess to be an expert in this so I won’t try! But from personal experience, my key points would be keep it light, keep it fun and keep it short.

If you’re struggling with any aspect of your wedding planning, I have plenty of other features on my blog, from getting started to finding your venue to designing your seating plan . 

And if you’re looking for some personal 1-1 support, then get in touch to see how I can help you. I have a range of planning services which can be tailored to your needs.  I’d love to hear from you.  

Louise Wearmouth, Founder of Your Fabulous Wedding

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speeches before wedding breakfast

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The Traditional Wedding Speech Order Explained

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Confused about the order of speeches at a wedding? We explain who goes first, when and why

The wedding speeches are usually given at a couples’ wedding reception, either before or after the meal.

Getting the wedding speech order right is important for smooth running of the day.

Here’s a breakdown of when each speech should be, what it should traditionally include and the best time to have your speeches during the reception.

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What is the Traditional Wedding Speech Order?

You might have two brides or no brides – so what does that mean for a father of the bride speech or a groom speech? Luckily, we’ve covered all the different ways same-sex couples can reinvent the speech section of their wedding, and below we’re just going to look at the traditional speech order.

Traditionally, women don’t even get a word in, but many brides now choose to give a speech, as do the bridesmaids or maid of honor, if there any.

If you are including these, the order should go: father of the bride, groom, bride, bridesmaids/maid of honor, best man. The best man’s speech always goes last.

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Father of the Bride Speech

The father of the bride should:

  • Welcome the guests he is hosting and thank them for coming
  • Welcome the groom into the family and lead the toasts to absent friends and family
  • Compliment the bride, tell some heartfelt stories about her and say how proud you are
  • Praise the groom and explain why you think they’re such a great couple
  • Toast the newlyweds

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Groom’s Speech

The father of the bride’s speech leads into the  groom’s speech . Traditionally the groom should:

  • Respond to the toast to the newlyweds by the father of the bride
  • Thank the guests for attending and their gifts
  • Thank both sets of parents
  • Compliment his new bride
  • Give out thank you gifts and say a few words about key members of the wedding party. Toast and compliment the bridesmaids here
  • Toast the bride’s parents if they are hosting

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Best Man Speech

The best man should:

  • Echo the groom’s toast in thanking the bridesmaids
  • Compliment the couple, particularly the bride – try not to give her a roasting
  • Tell anecdotes about the groom (but remember to take the audience into consideration when you decide which stories to tell!)
  • Read out messages from absent friends and family
  • Lead a final toast to the bride and groom

Alternative Wedding Speeches

Many weddings now include speeches from the bride and the bridesmaids or maid of honor in the wedding speech order. Here’s what they should include.

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Bride’s Speech

A relatively new trend is for the bride to give her own speech, or to join the groom in a joint speech. if giving her own speech, the bride should:

  • Thank her guests for coming
  • Thank her parents, especially if they are paying for the wedding
  • Thank her bridesmaids and give them gifts if the groom gives his ushers gifts during his speech
  • Compliment her groom and tell a romantic/funny anecdote about him
  • Raise a toast

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Bridesmaids/Maid of Honor Speech

The bridesmaids/maid of honor should:

  • Thank the bride and offer a story or compliment
  • Compliment the ushers

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When Is the Best Time for Wedding Speeches?

Increasingly couples are choosing to mix the wedding speech order up. It might be that you decide to do the speeches before the wedding breakfast so the speech-givers can then relax and enjoy the meal, or have a speech between each course so the guests don’t have to listen to a solid block of speeches.

The best time for wedding speeches depends on the schedule of your day. Should you have a long gap between the ceremony and reception, your guests are unlikely to want to wait for their food until the end of the speeches. If you are having an informal meal like a buffet, there won’t be a chance for speeches during courses. Most couples choose to have speeches after dinner when everyone is satisfied and had a chance to relax.

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Four Tips For Keeping Your Wedding Speeches Running Smoothly

1. Think about how the person before you will end their speech.  If they let you know, you can then alter your speech so it starts referencing the ending of theirs.

2. Ask the person before you to introduce you.  This saves you from having to clumsily introduce yourself to the room and lets you know when it’s ok to start your speech.

3. Ask the other speech-givers what jokes and toasts they plan on including in their speeches.  That way you can make sure you don’t repeat them and can mix it up a bit so you can do different ones.

4. The same goes for anecdotes.  Particularly if there is more than one best man or if the father of the bride is a bit of a character. You don’t want to bore the guests by repeating familiar stories.

Chris Piercy - Magician, Mindreader & Hypnotist

When you should have your wedding speeches? Expert Wedding Advice

by Chris Piercy | 11, Nov, 21 | Best Blogs , Wedding Planning | 0 comments

speeches before wedding breakfast

Wedding Speeches – Before or After the meal?

One of the most emotional moments of a wedding day is the speeches; they can be heart-warming and loving, gut-wrenchingly sad or genuinely laugh out loud funny – as a professional magician who has attended hundreds of weddings I’ve heard it all!

But when should the wedding speeches be? Before the meal so that you can get them out of the way or after so that the groom can drink enough to have the confidence to talk in front of the whole wedding party? Here’s my arguments on both sides of this.

Having the wedding speeches before the meal

By having the speeches as soon as people sit down it means that there is something going on for your guests instantly that is going to grab their attention and avoid the dreaded small talk at the table.

This also means that as soon as the speeches have finished your guests will definitely have something to talk about rather than just repeating about how lucky the couple got with the weather or asking each other how they know the couple etc.

For those people not comfortable with talking in front of people it means that the anticipation of doing the speech goes on for less time and they can just get it done! This means that they get to enjoy the wedding a bit sooner.

Doing the speeches before the food is brought out also gives the catering team and the staff at the venue a little bit more time to arrange things, especially if there is a room turnaround to do etc but this will very much be venue specific.

Dorset Wedding Magician Chris Piercy performing his mindreading show at Athelhampton House, Dorset

Having magic in front of the whole wedding party is a unique way to give your guests an incredible shared experience

Wedding speeches after the meal.

Tradition states that the Wedding Speeches should be conducted after the meal and they essentially bring an end to the day’s formalities at which point the party side of the day can begin.

By serving the meal first it means your guests are finally being properly fed. Normally guests will not have had time for eating lunch as they have been getting ready and attending your wedding ceremony, they will have been “kept going” with a few canapes but by the time they’re sitting down the meal at around 4:30pm they are likely to be starving.

At which point they’re going to be asked to sit through up to 45 minutes of speeches before getting anything to eat other than shoving bread rolls in their faces.

Aside from the waiting for food it also means that anyone who has been slightly too liberal during the drink’s reception can eat something and sober themselves up a little rather than plying themselves with more drink at each toast!

It gives the speakers a little bit more time to get some Dutch courage on board!

An Alternative for wedding speeches?

There are 3 courses (normally) at a meal and 3 speeches (normally) – whilst I’m pretty certain this is coincidental you could have one speech after each course.

It is my personal opinion that the speeches should always be after the meal, whilst I have been to lots of weddings where the speeches have been done straight away I always feel it works better afterwards.

The main reason that people tend to do them first is for the benefit of the people speaking especially when they are nervous and whilst public speaking is a very common fear this isn’t a place for it.

You have about the friendliest crowd you could possibly wish for, literally everyone is routing for the people speaking, wanting to hear tales from the past, looking forward to learning more about the couple as well as the bride and the groom as individuals.

Your guests will thoroughly appreciate being fed that little bit earlier and will enjoy the speeches more as a result.

In conclusion you’ve got to do what you feel is right for your day, whether your speeches are before or after the meal is not going to make or break the day but after will make the day flow better.

Another possibility

I don’t personally believe close-up magic during the actual meal itself is the best use of a performer’s time or the couple’s money but more often than not I am booked to perform at the drinks reception.

I will always offer to perform for the start of the wedding breakfast too up until starters are being brought out.

This means that there is an ice breaker at the tables as people are getting seated which solves one of the problems that having the speeches before the meal was solving meaning there’s even more reason to have speeches after the meal now.

I am however able to offer a performance in front of the whole wedding party, either at the beginning or end which will really bring down the house and give everyone a wonderful shared experience of the day.

If you’re interested to find our more either head to my main wedding page or fill in the enquiry form below

If you want to hear a full discussion on this topic then check out this episode of Yes to I Do Podcast.

You can also find more of my advice and wedding supplier interviews on my blog

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The Ultimate Guide To Wedding Speeches And Toasts

speeches before wedding breakfast

Wedding speeches can be as nerve-wracking for the bride and groom as for those delivering them – What if the best person says something inappropriate? Is Dad feeling nervous? What on earth does my Person of Honour have planned?  

However, this doesn’t mean she can’t try to prepare herself for what is to come, nor can she be stopped from lending a helping hand to those preparing speeches… 

If this screams you and you can’t wait to offer out some advice to those writing their speeches, then you might like to take a look at the below information which details what each person traditionally says in his or her speech and when.

The traditional order of speeches and what they should say

speeches before wedding breakfast

Father of the bride/groom

Most speeches will kick off right at the beginning of the wedding reception, when the Father of the Bride will traditionally welcome the guests and introduce the married couple (if the toastmaster hasn’t already done so). It has long been customary for the bride’s father to give the first speech as it was often the bride’s family who paid for or contributed the most financially towards the wedding. 

During his speech, the father (representative) of the bride will ordinarily welcome the groom into his family, compliment his daughter and tell heartfelt stories about her life before marriage. He will then explain why she and his new son-in-law are such a great match and will end his speech with a toast to the newlyweds.

speeches before wedding breakfast

During his speech, the groom will no doubt gush over his amazing new bride/groom but he’ll also take the time to pay tribute to the bridesmaids and both sets of parents. He may thank his own Mum and Dad (where relevant) for raising him and giving him all the opportunities in life which led him to this happy moment in time, while also thanking his in-laws for raising such a wonderful daughter and accepting him into their family.

speeches before wedding breakfast

Best Man/Best Person

The Best Man, who normally gives the final speech of the day, will praise the bridesmaids once again and compliment the beautiful bride. But then, when all the niceties are over and he has tried his best not to embarrass his best friend’s wife too much, his attention will quickly turn to roasting the groom himself. 

Funny anecdotes will definitely be on the cards, as might a few tales from the stag do.

Before raising a glass for the bride and groom for the last time, he may be asked to read out messages from – or ask everyone in the room to remember – absent guests.

The best time for wedding speeches to take place

At the start of the wedding reception

As previously mentioned, most speeches will get underway at the start of the reception, however this does not have to be the way. 

The benefit of having the speeches out of the way early on is that those nervously awaiting their turn can get theirs off their chest relatively early on and enjoy the rest of the day!

During the wedding reception

Some couples, particularly if they have a large wedding and want to ensure their guests have distractions at various points throughout the day, may choose to stagger the speeches or hold all of the dialogue in between courses. Not only does this help to keep the room entertained when waiting on their next dish, it usually means that the guests – and more importantly the speech givers – will have had a glass of bubbly to calm their nerves by then! 

That being said, not everyone settles their nerves with an alcoholic beverage so you might simply be putting your loved one through more torture as he sits waiting for his big moment.

After wedding reception

Depending on the structure of your day, your order of service might flow differently from the above and it may call for speeches later in the day, possibly even after the wedding breakfast. It’s important to make sure the timing works for you and your plans for the day!

Alternative wedding speeches

Maid of honour/Person of honour

Of course, it doesn’t have to fall to the Best Man to give a speech. Or perhaps you want your girl to give a killer Maid of Honour speech to rival his! Either way, a Maid of Honour speech is a really nice way to bring more of your personality to the speeches, enabling her to share stories about you as an individual as well as your partnership. 

A word of warning, though… if your Maid of Honour has a reputation for getting overly emotional then tell her to keep it light-hearted and leave the tears for your father and the groom!

speeches before wedding breakfast

Though quite rare, brides will sometimes take the microphone at their own wedding, as a way of showing their appreciation to all of those involved. And, come to think of it, if a bride is heavily involved in the planning of her wedding then it seems only fair that she should be the one to welcome her guests and thank those around her for the support offered. Not only that but it is nice to hear loving words from the bride’s perspective as well as from her hubby’s.

speeches before wedding breakfast

We know, of course, that not all families are ‘traditional’. If, for instance, you are one of a same sex couple, then you may choose a different path entirely for your speeches and opt for both fathers (and/or mothers) to give a speech, in addition to the two of you.

Similarly, we acknowledge that not all couples have both sets of parents and therefore it might fall upon the mother of the bride, a sibling or even a dear friend, to give a heartfelt speech and represent the family.

Tips to make your speeches go smoothly

As much as it makes you uncomfortable to think about what could be said during the speeches, it’s important to remind yourself that the people at your wedding love you and have nothing but respect for you both. 

But to ensure that the speeches go without a hitch, we suggest that you keep chasing up those who have been asked to deliver a speech (to ensure they are prepared rather than to be nosy). It’s also a good idea to task your husband-to-be with checking in on the Best Man before the big day to ensure that his speech is suitable (because, let’s face it, he’s the one to watch!). 

And, lastly, we recommend telling your father, Best Man or whoever is due to be addressing the crowd that there is no pressure to write an essay. A few simple and sincere words from those you simply and sincerely love is all you need.

speeches before wedding breakfast

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Wedding Speeches, so when should we do them?

Before, during or after the wedding breakfast.

I’ve decided to write this wedding blog back to front, hopefully by the end you’ll see why.

I’ve shot a lot of weddings at this point in my career now so I’ve seen a full range of wedding breakfasts and speeches and the differences depending on when they’re done during the breakfast. The couple usually choosing when the time in coordination with their wedding venue.

Like the running order of the speeches, Father of the Bride, Groom then it’s the Best Man’s turn, traditionally this seems to be the most common time that they’re done, honestly though I’m really not too sure why.

Times change and as it becomes more common for the Bride to give a speech these days too or join in too, wedding breakfasts have changed a bit too.

So when is the best time to do them and why?

Bride sitting down looks up at her dad smiling as he reads his wedding speech

AFTER THE MEAL?

Ok so if you’re currently planning your wedding, however far along you are with it, perhaps you’re still looking at venues or you’ve now sorted that out and are starting to think of how the room is going to look when it’s decorated. There is going to come a time on the wedding day after the ceremony has finished and everyone has said their congratulations, you’ve done all the family groups, the formal photos and finally had the chance to grab a drink the coordinator on the day is going to want to proudly show off what they’ve created for you, the picture in your head of how the room is going to look now laid out in front of your eyes. You’re now going to eagerly invite 50+ hungry and thirsty guests to see the room too, serve them a lovely three course meal and plenty of drinks from the bar, the kids will have opened their activity packs and in short, the room isn’t going to look like it did when you first saw it a couple of hours ago. It’s unlikely that you’re going to be able to hide all that in the photos, especially when it comes to wide photographs of a full top table, surely it’s got to be better not having photos in your album with the inevitable food slops, half full glasses and the mens’ jackets off and hanging on the back of the chair with the buttonholes now starting to droop having usually been squashed flat after they’ve been sat back on? That’s not to mention how it’ll look when the unavoidable kid-nados have torn through the room 🌪 🌪 🌪

WEDDING SPEECH RATING 6/10

Bride smiling as her new husband gives his wedding speech

BETWEEN COURSES?

I’ve shot a wedding or two where the couple had decided to have the wedding speeches in between each course as they were a bit worried about the guests getting bored and fed up with listening to one speech after another, so they thought they’d give the guests a break and split the speeches up during the meal, I understand why they might think that but I’d have to say seeing it unfold, it turned out though that negatives outweighed the positives, here’s my thoughts on why…

Getting everyone’s attention at weddings can be tough, trust me. Trying to line everyone up and all look at the important camera (mine) while everyone else is either stood behind or to the side of me and all pointing their phones at them at the same time is not easy. It’s the same with the speeches. Usually after each course people will often wander around to have a quick chat, nip the loo, grab a drink at the bar or get some fresh air or have a quick smoke or vape outside etc. Getting everyone back together and back to their seats gets very frustrating, very quickly for the couple, the events team and the person up next waiting to deliver their speech, more time for any nerves to kick in. Imagine it, as one person sits down another gets up and leaves their table, no idea that the person stood up for their turn to speak was waiting for the crowd to settle or be interrupted by guests coming back into the room.

Spare a thought for the kitchen and service team, they have no idea how long each speech is going to go on for and it makes it very difficult for them to have each course ready and out at the right time and at its best, food being plated ready to come out only for the speaker to go on 15 minutes longer than they planned to, that or the speech finishes earlier than predicted and there was then guests waiting for the next course to come out, people got up again, nipped the loo, nipped the bar….etc. People eat at different speeds so it meant people were still eating their course as the speech got underway, I’d imagine that they felt a bit self conscious and guilty carrying on eating instead of listening so it ended up that there were plates of good food left half eaten while I’m over here with a rumbling stomach.

As with the caterers, timings are pretty important on a wedding day, if the meal takes much longer than planned due to all the stop-starting, evening guests are going to be arriving whilst the guests are only half way through their desert with yet another speech to go. At one of the weddings, the knock on effect of the wedding meal running over meant guests were checking into their rooms late and it affected the evening party too, it delayed the cake cutting and first dance as the DJ was late starting because they couldn’t get in to the room and set up their rig early enough.

WEDDING SPEECH RATING 2/10

Groom cringes eyes and faced screwed up during the best man’s speech

BEFORE THE MEAL?

So as I said right at the beginning, I’ve written this blog back to front and here why, it’s because I’ve saved the best for last and honestly, having the speeches before the meal is THE BEST.

Why? Well aside from being the complete opposite of everything I’ve written about in the AFTER THE MEAL section, the room and the tables will look just how it should in the photos, there’s less likely to be droopy squashed flowers and best of all, no messy tables!!!

There’s an extra bonus point for having the speeches first too, think of the poor speakers nervously waiting to stand up in a room full of people and deliver a witty, clever, heart warming, heart felt speech. Seems a bit harsh to make them worry about it throughout the wedding breakfast, it’s enough to put a nervous person off their food. It’s bad enough having to give a speech anyway so please be kind and don’t put them through that, be kind and let them get it out of the way first, so they can properly enjoy their meal.

WEDDING SPEECH RATING 10/10

So there you have it, it’s just my unbiased-ish and humble opinion of the wedding speeches and when it’s best to do them or not.

Groom laughs and turns away as the best man hands him a small dolls potty during the wedding speech

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Expert Tips: When’s the Best Time for Wedding Speeches?

Ideal timing for wedding speeches – your guide.

Deciding what time of the day is best for wedding speeches can be as intricate as selecting the perfect centrepiece. It’s a pivotal aspect that sets the stage for emotional highlights and unforgettable memories. A seasoned wedding planner often advises on this nuanced choice, aiming to find the best time for wedding speeches that complements the rhythm of your special day.

While you ponder over heart-warming narratives and joyful toasts, considering the best time also means envisioning when your guests will be most attentive and cherishing every spoken word. As you weave the tapestry of your wedding day, rest assured that our expertise will guide you to pinpoint that perfect moment—a time that resonates with the joy, love, and companionship that form the essence of your celebration.

Pre-Meal vs Post-Meal Wedding Speeches: Setting the Tone for Your Reception

When planning your special day, considering the order of speeches at wedding celebrations can hugely impact the flow and feel of your reception. Will you have the speeches before the meal to let your guests enjoy their meal with peace of mind, or opt for the traditional route with speeches following the wedding breakfast? Each choice sets a distinct tone for the event and influences not just the wedding party, but also the caterer’s schedule and your wedding speeches timing.

The Anticipation Factor – Easing the Nerves with Early Speeches

Choosing to deliver speeches before the food has its benefits. The speakers, possibly including the bride’s parents, can dispense with their nerves early, allowing them to relax and fully engage with the celebration thereafter. Your guests, too, can dive into the wedding breakfast without the suspense of pending speeches hanging over them. For guests who take pleasure in wedding customs, hearing the speech of the bride’s father before they start their meal can be very meaningful.

Giving Wedding Staff Their Due on your wedding day – Coordination and Catering Considerations

The timings of reception speeches can greatly affect the behind-the-scenes orchestration of your wedding reception. By scheduling speeches before the wedding breakfast, you afford the caterer and their team additional time to finesse the final touches to the cuisine. Particularly for venues that necessitate a room changeover, this breathing room can be invaluable and can significantly contribute to a seamless dining experience.

Starting Strong: Utilising Entertainment to Break the Ice

How about commencing your wedding reception with a captivating performance? Picture an entertainer delighting the crowd at the start of the wedding breakfast, providing not just an icebreaker but also paving the way for a luxury wedding experience. An enchanting performer’s act can serve as a prelude to the speeches, ensuring that by the time the microphone is passed around, your wedding party is energised, engaged, and more than ready to be regaled with heartfelt speeches.

Guests seated at elegant wedding reception.

The Gravitas of Tradition: Wedding Speeches Following the Meal

When the last morsels of the wedding breakfast are savoured, and the clinking of cutlery subsides, the anticipation for the traditional order of wedding speeches begins. The guests, now settled and sated, are eager to toast the newly minted union of the happy couple. Insertion points of hilarity and heartfelt sentiment traditionally emerge at the end of the meal, as each speech unfolds. This format provides a considerate nod to the day’s structure, prioritising guest comfort and satiety, and ensuring that the wedding party is all ears for what’s to come.

When Hunger Strikes – Keeping Guest Satisfaction in Mind

Imagine your wedding breakfast creating a convivial canvas for the artwork of orations that are to follow. The father of the bride speech marks a poignant commencement to post-dinner proclamations. Guests, having dined to their heart’s content, are not just physically gratified but also more receptive. The contentment of a shared meal thereby sets the stage for speeches after the meal, fostering an atmosphere where every anecdote and accolade can be thoroughly appreciated.

The Togetherness Toast – Uniting Guests Post-Dinner

Picture raising your glass in a communal toast, celebrating the couple’s journey. This united act after feasting on the wedding meal seals the communal experience, enhancing the spirit of togetherness at the reception. The wedding toasts become a focal point of unity, embracing the shared joy and offering a platform for eloquence to shine in honour of the couple’s future.

From Formality to Festivity – Transitioning into the Celebrations

Once the speeches are done, it’s time for a seamless transition from the formal proceedings to the unrestricted revelry of the evening. The dance floor awaits as you and your guests exchange formality for festivity, encouraged to mingle, laugh, and celebrate. The reception, now liberated from the structure of ceremonial speeches, beckons you to dance, love, and revel in the collective joy that follows such heartfelt expressions of felicity.

Guests cheering at wedding reception in decorated hall.

The Best Practises for Timing Your Wedding Toasts

On your big day, the timing of the speeches at your reception can have a significant impact on the joy and fluidity of the event. It’s about more than just getting reception speeches right; it’s about understanding the crowd dynamics and ensuring your guests are at peak receptivity, the speech-givers are at ease, and the overall atmosphere is electric with anticipation. Here are some insider tips on getting it right.

Assessing Crowd Dynamics – When Are Your Guests Most Receptive?

One key aspect to consider is the mood and attention of your attendees – when is the peak moment for them to engage with your toast? Generally, this kind of public speaking is most successful once guests are fed and imbued with a sense of satisfaction. This means timing the speeches to follow the dining experience can be advantageous, keeping the crowd from being distracted by their empty stomachs and focussed on sharing the joy of your special occasion.

Alcohol and Eloquence – Balancing Dutch Courage with Dining

While a bit of Dutch courage can be useful for those giving a toast, it’s important to create a balance. Typically, food before the speeches can be a wise move, potentially stabilising any pre-speech jitters and tempering the effects of alcohol at the drinks reception or the rehearsal dinner. Plus, a well-fed audience is more likely to enjoy the twin pleasures of a good meal and the delights of the best man’s speech or any other reception speeches.

Timing and Technology: Ensuring Your Speeches are Heard and Enjoyed

Of course, it’s not just when, but also how the speeches are delivered. Couples opt for the best in technology to make sure every word is heard. Whether it’s during the rehearsal dinner or the main reception, ensure you have reliable tech to project those hearty laughs and earnest toasts. Setting the tone with crystal clear audio allows for smooth delivery from the speech-givers and quality engagement from the guests. So, make sure the timing of the speeches strategically aligns with the tech set-up for a flawless execution.

  • Gauge the audience mood for the most receptive timing of the speeches
  • Aim for guests to have enjoyed the meal, inducing a contented atmosphere
  • Find the sweet spot between sufficient Dutch courage and overindulgence
  • Leverage high-quality sound systems for a seamless toast experience

Remember, on your big day, it’s all about creating those unforgettable memories with your family and friends. The speeches are a momentous part of the day, so give them the thoughtful timing they deserve.

Best man giving speech at wedding reception.

What is the best time for wedding speeches?

When considering the pivotal moments of your wedding day, public speaking often takes centre stage. It is a time when the bride and groom are honoured through heartfelt speeches. A common question arises: what time should these significant moments unfold to capture the essence of your celebration? The answer isn’t a one-size-fits-all, as it depends on a myriad of factors, including personal preferences and event structure. Yet, there’s a trend that leans towards the wedding breakfast as the best time for these orations.

Imagine the scene: the toastmaster calls for attention, guests eagerly turn towards the speaker, and a hush descends upon the room. Here’s why this moment often follows the meal:

  • Guest Contentment : Speeches are typically more enjoyable post-dinner when your guests are not distracted by hunger.
  • Speaker’s Ease : The father of the bride or the best man can communicate with more confidence once the formality of the meal has passed.
  • Harmonious Atmosphere : The conviviality post-wedding breakfast fosters a receptive environment for stories and sentiments to be shared.

However, your wedding day best time for speeches should synchronise with your envisioned schedule. If you opt for a late afternoon ceremony, perhaps before the wedding breakfast is more suitable. Your decision should ensure the speaker feels confident, be it during the sunlight or under the stars, and that your guests are primed for an unforgettable experience.

Ultimately, whether you fancy the idea of speaking amidst the day’s gentle beginnings or prefer the twilight’s bubbly ambience, remember to align the occasion with your comfort and the pleasure of your guests. After all, it is your union that’s being celebrated, and each word spoken is a tribute to your journey together.

In summary, the decision on the timing of wedding speeches during a reception should not be taken lightly. Whether you opt for the toasts to be raised before or after the meal, it is vital that this moment aligns harmoniously with the progression of your big day. Cultural customs and the couple’s personal preferences are influential factors, yet the advice of a seasoned wedding planner can provide a golden rule of thumb, helping guide this important choice. It boils down to ensuring both the bride and groom, as well as the entire wedding party, experience a delightful transition from ceremony to celebration.

Some couples may find having speeches done before the food lifts the weight of anticipation, particularly for a nervous maid of honour or the speakers eager to share their emotions and anecdotes. This can set a relaxed and enjoyable pace for the rest of the wedding reception. Alternatively, concluding the meal with toasts can harness the warmth of a shared dining experience, setting an intimate stage for heartfelt expressions and sincere connections among those gathered.

The beauty of your celebration is that it reflects your journey and individual style. Whether you entrust the timing of such significant moments to a professional wedding planner or decide in consort with friends and family, your ultimate aim is to craft an event that resonates with love and happiness. So, choose a moment for your toasts that will enhance your wedding reception, ensuring that the voices that matter most are heard at just the right time. After all, this is your narrative – one that every bride, groom and honoured guest will cherish, long after the last slice of cake has been savoured.

Guests at wedding reception with exposed brick backdrop.

When is the best time for wedding speeches during the reception?

The best time for wedding speeches can be either before or after the meal. If speeches are done before the food, it allows those who are speaking to relax and enjoy their meal later, whereas speeches after the meal cater to the comfort of your guests who may be more attentive and jovial with food in their bellies. The decision should be based on the couple’s preference, reception logistics, and the wedding party’s comfort.

Should wedding speeches be made before the wedding breakfast?

Making speeches before the wedding breakfast can ease the nerves of the speakers, and provide a lively start to the celebrations. It also gives guests a conversational focal point early on. However, some couples prefer to uphold the tradition of post-meal speeches. It’s important to consider what feels most natural for the event and aligns with the couple’s vision.

What are the advantages of having wedding speeches after the meal?

Post-meal wedding speeches allow guests to listen and engage with a satisfied appetite, enhancing their receptiveness and reducing the chances of feeling the effects of alcohol on an empty stomach. It also embraces the traditional flow of the meal to speeches to festivities, easing the transition from the formal part of the reception to the celebratory dances and mingling that follow.

How do wedding planners recommend timing the speeches?

Wedding planners typically advise considering guest comfort, the flow of the day, and the speakers’ needs when timing the speeches. They may suggest early speeches for those who are anxious about public speaking or recommend waiting until after the meal when guests are more likely to be receptive and relaxed. Ultimately, they’ll work with the couple’s preferences to find the best fit for their special day.

Can entertainment affect the timing of wedding speeches?

Absolutely, incorporating entertainment such as a magician or a musical act during the drinks reception or before the start of the wedding breakfast can be a fun way to engage guests and can sometimes delay the necessity for speeches by creating an initial point of focus and enjoyment.

Is it necessary to follow a traditional order of wedding speeches?

While tradition offers a sequence for wedding speeches, typically starting with the father of the bride, followed by the groom, and then the best man, many couples are choosing to tailor the order to suit their personal preferences. The key factor is to ensure the flow feels right for the couple and resonates with their narrative for the day.

How can speech timings impact the caterers and the meal service?

Timing the speeches before the meal can give caterers additional time to prepare and ensure that the food is served at its best quality. It also can help with the logistical aspect of room turnarounds in certain venues. If speeches are after the meal, caterers will need to be aware of the schedule to ensure that the transition into the speeches is smooth and doesn’t interfere with food service.

How does the length of speeches affect the reception schedule?

Long speeches can push back the timeline of the event, especially if they go on longer than expected. It’s important for whoever is running the event, such as a wedding planner or master of ceremonies, to keep speeches on schedule to ensure that all elements of the reception, like the meal, dancing, and other festivities, happen in a timely manner.

What is the role of technology in delivering effective wedding speeches?

Ensuring speeches are heard and enjoyed by all guests can often require the use of technology, such as microphones and speaker systems. Professional sound equipment ensures clear delivery and helps the speaker to connect with the audience, enhancing the overall experience of the wedding speeches.

How do you decide if wedding speeches should be before or after the wedding breakfast?

The decision is often based on a combination of the couple’s preference, cultural traditions, and practicalities such as the catering schedule and guest comfort. Consulting with a wedding planner can help to weigh these factors. Some couples might gauge guests’ moods during the day, while others will set their schedule around what feels most natural to their celebration.

Wish to talk weddings?

If you have any questions regarding speeches, then please feel free to contact me anytime. I have captured many weddings across my hometown of Northamptonshire , the East Midlands , and beyond.

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speeches before wedding breakfast

The Wedding Breakfast Speeches

Traditionally the wedding speeches take place after the wedding breakfast, but these days, owing to the nervousness of the speakers, some prefer to get them out of the way before the meal is served. If this is your choice, the timing of the serving of the meal has to be taken into consideration. If the speeches are too long the meal may be spoiled.

These notes are a guideline for those who have never given a speech before.  There are many books and internet guides that will also assist you but it is good to plan what you are going to say in the following way:

1          The introduction is generally the easy part. Why? Because in most cases you are normally thanking people. This is a pleasant and easy way to start e.g. “Thank you for coming today”

2          The main points are when you use all the information you have gathered. Remember to use your best anecdote or story until last before you close.

3          The conclusion must be the conclusion. Do not go ‘on and on’ and bore everyone. If you say “and finally” mean it !

Your speech should only last for the maximum of 10 minutes – short and punchy – not long and boring. You can say quite a lot in ten minutes. Remember there are at least two others to speak as well. That means 30 minutes of speeches, which is quite long enough. Your guests (especially children) may become restless if the speeches go on for longer. If the speeches are made before the meal they will also be hungry!

The Father of the Bride (or whoever is giving the Bride away) traditionally starts the speeches. He will thank friends and family for coming, especially those who have traveled a long way. He should also thank the other parents for their help and welcome his new son in law into his family. He may talk of how the happy couple met, and the first time she introduced him to his future ‘in laws’. Next he should concentrate on his daughter – the Bride. This can be emotional but it is nice to reflect on her growing up, into the lovely daughter she is today. His speech ends by asking everyone to stand and join him in toasting ‘The Bride and Bridegroom’ – he may use their names.

The Bridegroom will thank his new ‘Dad’ for the welcome and the nice words. He will thank both sets of parents for their love and help in making everything possible. He should also thank everyone and show appreciation that they have taken the time to come and celebrate the day with them both. At the first opportunity he will say “on behalf of my wife and I” as this always gets a round of applause and cheering. He will then talk about his beautiful Bride before giving out flowers and gifts. He will end his speech by paying compliments to the bridesmaids and asking everyone to stand, for the ‘Toast to the Bridesmaids’.

The Best Man will thank the Bridegroom on behalf of the Bridesmaids. He should talk about the honour of being Best Man and speak about the Bridegroom and their friendship. He will then relate stories to generally embarrass and send him up. Nothing contentious and he should not mention former girl friends. He may also read cards of congratulation, but only from those who are unable to be there. Although not a tradition, he may end his speech by raising another toast to the Bride and Bridegroom.

Other guests may also wish to contribute, even the Bride! It may also be appropriate, and appreciated, for a toast to be raised to absent friends or a very close relative of the Bride or Bridegroom who may perhaps have recently passed away. This can be done by whoever is deemed most appropriate.

Finally, everyone will be embarrassed by an obviously intoxicated speaker. A little drink may calm the nerves but the Golden Rule is generally very little or preferably no alcohol before speaking.

Here are some fuller helpful guidelines:

Making a speech at a wedding is probably one of the biggest worries for many men – whether they are the best-man, father of the bride or even the groom himself! These days we get many brides and mums wanting to say a few words too so these guidelines may be a help to them as well.

  • PLAN IT WELL IN ADVANCE

Do not even consider writing the speech the night before the wedding or leaving it to an hour before you are due to speak! Even if you are great at public speaking, chances are your nerves & emotions will get the better of you and you forget all you want to say and will end up blabbing…. More about blabbing in tip #3…

  • GET CREATIVE

Decide if you want a traditional speech or if you would prefer something a bit more unusual and wacky. You know the couple well so if you think they will ‘get it’ – go for it. Sing, do a slideshow, write a poem or something else. Everyone will appreciate your creativity and efforts!

  • STRUCTURE IT & DON’T BLAB

Structure your speech – don’t go on rambling on for ages – people will get bored and distracted. It is better to keep it short, sweet and to the point. A maximum of 10 minutes should be sufficient time for your wedding speech.

Be sure to state the obvious – reiterate how the day is about the couple and pick some personal points as to why they are so perfect for one another. Stay away from the common clichés. Instead, find out how the couple complement each other in different ways and what makes THEIR relationship so unique.

  • SAY YOUR THANK YOU’S

It is always nice for people to be appreciated for their effort and involvement in a wedding. Compliment and thank the wedding party, the guests and the parents. It is always nice to thank the Bride & Groom for putting on a lovely wedding too. I also think it is a lovely idea to mention loved ones that are no longer with us (best to check with the couple before the wedding so not to upset them) or special people who were not able to make it to the wedding. You can raise a toast to ‘absent friends’.

  • KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE

When writing your speech, consider the audience – will there be any children and elderly people in the room? Ensure that your speech is appropriate for everyone in the room – there is nothing worse than an offensive or out of place comment followed by the silence in the room (tumbleweed moment…) instead of the applause and laughter. Instead, keep the naughty details of the stag do and wild nights partying to a minimum and no swearing please!

  • DON’T GOOGLE IT!

You can use Google for inspiration and ideas but please, don’t just copy and paste someone else’s speech – personalize it. Do put some thought into what you have to say – you have been trusted with a very important role on someone’s wedding day, so it is only fitting that you put some effort in to making it as personal and as touching as possible.

  • PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE! 

Don’t try and wing it – it rarely ever works. While it may seem like a great idea to say whatever pops to your head on the spur of the moment, in reality, you will end up trailing off and jumping from one point to another. You may even say something REALLY inappropriate. It could happen to the best of us! To avoid this – PRACTICE. Type up your speech, edit and print it, then read it out loud to yourself or a good friend as often as you can. It will help you to get more comfortable with speaking out loud and remember the flow of the speech. Don’t try to memorise it all though. Instead, make some cue cards to get you started and help you stay on track if the nerves will get the best of you.

  • ASK FOR FEEDBACK 

Ask your partner or a good friend whose opinion you trust for a feedback. Read the speech out loud in front of them and check their reaction. If you get no response – ask what could have been said differently and what should be avoided. Edit the speech and try again.

  • DON’T OVER THINK IT

Do ask for feedback, but don’t over think it too much. It is easily done so don’t be conscious of or try to please everyone. Stay true to yourself and your style instead of trying to make it perfect and too polished. Do use feedback to tidy it up, but don’t feel you need to change the whole thing! You have written it with the couple at heart. It can’t get much better than that!

  • SAVE THOSE FEW PINTS FOR AFTER THE SPEECH 

Think again before you have that shot of tequila or another pint before your speech. While you may be tempted to calm the nerves – stay away from alcohol especially if the speeches are before the official meal. Drinking on an empty stomach, the excitement and the pressure is not the best combination. No one wants to hear slurring best-man blabbing about that night out 3 years ago (it normally seems like a good idea to add few extra bits after a few pints, but you will regret it when watching it back on the wedding video!!)

  • ALWAYS CHECK PEOPLE CAN HEAR YOU

Pretty self-explanatory really – make sure everyone is ready and they can hear you well before you start. Guests who can’t hear you will get bored and could end up whispering which can get a little frustrating and distracting.

  • TOAST THE COUPLE

It is customary to toast the newlyweds at the end of your speech and let’s admit – you will be looking forward to that drink. Before you start your speech make sure everyone’s drinks are toped up and toast-ready. Be sure to make a nice toast wishing the couple a happy future.

  • AND …..RELAX 

This is probably the most important thing when giving a speech. Relax and enjoy it! Use the opportunity to share some great stories about the couple and wish them all the best in their married life together. It may be only chance you get to give your sincere best wishes before the party begins, so just take a few deep breaths, relax and enjoy!

If you would like any advice or would like me to cast my eye over your speech then please contact me.

speeches before wedding breakfast

speeches before wedding breakfast

speeches before wedding breakfast

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Wedding Breakfasts: The Complete Guide

Author: Hollie Bond

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Confused by this wedding day term and no idea when exactly you’re meant to be having the wedding breakfast? We answer all your burning big day food related questions…

The wedding world is full of traditions and terms you’ll not have heard of before, but one of the strangest has to be that the main meal of the wedding day is called the wedding breakfast. You’re not alone if when you first heard your caterer talk about the wedding breakfast you thought you and your guest would be tucking into scrambled eggs and bacon. However, while you’ll definitely want to have breakfast on your wedding day to give you energy for the excitement ahead, the actual ‘wedding breakfast’ won’t take place until much later in the day.

Simply put, the wedding breakfast is the main meal that you serve to your guests after the ceremony and before the wedding speeches and evening party. It usually takes place in the afternoon as most wedding ceremonies will happen late morning or early afternoon. If you’re getting married late in the day your wedding breakfast might even take place in the evening as late as your usual dinner.

Traditionally wedding breakfasts are made up of a three-course (or more) sit down meal, however, these days there are many different ways to serve your wedding breakfast – from a buffet and long tables with sharing platters to food trucks at a festival style wedding and even bowl food (think canapés but much larger served while you’re mingling).

Why Is It Called a Wedding Breakfast?

If it’s served as a lunch or dinner then you’re probably wondering why on earth the main meal of your day is called a wedding breakfast. The answer goes back to the 17th century when the wedding ceremony traditionally took place after mass. As people would fast before mass, the meal after the ceremony was the first food that would be consumer on the wedding day – so the bride and groom and their guests were literally breaking their fast. In modern times you could think of it in similar terms – although you’ll have had your usual breakfast on the big day, the wedding breakfast is the first meal you’ll share together as a newly married couple after the ceremony.

What Time Is a Wedding Breakfast?

You can hold your wedding breakfast at whatever time works for your wedding, but typically wedding breakfasts take place a couple of hours after the wedding ceremony. So if you are tying the knot at midday for example you’ll probably want to serve your wedding breakfast at around 2.30pm. The time between the end of the wedding ceremony and the start of the wedding breakfast is called the pre-reception drinks and often canapés and cocktails are served to keep guests busy and stop them getting hungry while you’re having your professional photography with the wedding party. Remember hungry guests won’t be happy guests, so when it comes to wedding budgeting allow plenty of money for both the wedding breakfast and the canapés beforehand.

What Do You Eat For a Wedding Breakfast?

Again, this is entirely up to you and the style of wedding you’re hosting. If you’re sticking to tradition then you’ll want to ask your caterers to provide a three course sit down meal consisting of classic British dishes like posh salads or fish to start; meat with beautifully done potatoes and veg for main and then an elegant dessert to finish. You’ll want to ensure there’s a vegetarian or vegan option too for any guests who don’t eat meat and it’s important to ask your guests if they have any allergies or special dietary requirements well in advance of your special day. You may want to look to other countries for inspiration though – perhaps the countries you’re from or maybe you both just love Italian, Indian, French, Chinese… food and want it as part of your special day.

A three-course sit down meal might not work with the style or running order of your day though, so don’t feel like you have to stick to this format just because it’s a wedding. If you’re hosting a festival style wedding you might want to have some food trucks like pizza vans and a hog roast. Or perhaps you’re having a more relaxed destination wedding with long trestle tables that would lend themselves perfectly to large platters or charcuterie, breads and crudités. You could always keep things nice and budget friendly and ask your caterers to serve up curries or a large one pot dish that everyone can help themselves to. For a vintage affair or a smaller celebration an afternoon tea can be a lovely idea too.

Remember the sort of wedding breakfast food you can serve very much depends on the venue you’ve chosen. Some venues come with in-house caterers who will have sample set menus for you to choose from and may not be able to accommodate anything too unusual. Before you book a whole host of street vans check with your venue whether it’s allowed within your venue hire contract and if they have room on site.

What Do You Drink At a Wedding Breakfast?

At the drinks reception before your wedding breakfast, your friends and family will probably already have had cocktails, champagne, beer, ale or something soft and fruity. So when it comes to the main meal on your special day it’s good to keep the drinks a bit simpler and make sure they’re in keeping with the food you’re serving. Wine works nicely with most wedding breakfasts, especially traditional sit down meals. However, if you’re having an afternoon tea you might want to continue with bubbly, and something like a hog roast or street food might be better paired with craft ale or beer.

What Are Some Alternatives To a Wedding Breakfast?

As always, weddings don’t have to follow traditions just because that’s what most newly married couples do. If you want to provide catering that’s completely original and unique then the only thing stopping you is your imagination and of course finding a caterer who’s happy to get on board with your ideas. We’ve heard of many cool alternatives to wedding breakfasts including a bride and groom who cooked and served their own food on the big day (not one for the faint hearted!). You could also serve sourdough pizzas on wooden platters, stacks of sweet and savoury pancakes, huge pans of paella, a feast of smoke house meats, gourmet bangers and mash, different flavour pies, burgers, or seafood platters.

Where Does a Wedding Breakfast Take Place?

A traditional wedding breakfast usually takes place in your reception venue’s main room so there’s plenty of space for all your friends and family to sit down and enjoy this first meal together. As with everything to do with a wedding breakfast though there’s plenty go flexibility to put your own stamp on this. If you’re having a summer or destination wedding , you might want to set your tables up outside (always have a rainy day plan B though), making sure there’s enough shade from the sun too. Depending on the size of your guest list you may have the choice of several different inside spaces at your venue to choose from too, so be sure to ask your caterer and event coordinator for all the options.

Have fun with the seating plan too. You might want to keep things traditional with a top table and then your guests seated at other tables of eight or two perhaps. However, you can do away with the top table and have everyone sat at long trestle tables for a more relaxed vibe. We’ve even seen super romantic sweetheart tables just for the bride and groom so you can sit together and soak up the amazing feeling of being newly married.

When it comes to planning your wedding breakfast and reception, don’t forget to think about entertainment too. You might want some live music or a simple playlist of your favourite love songs to provide the perfect ambience.

How Long Does a Wedding Breakfast Last?

If you’re opting for the classic sit down meal for your wedding breakfast then you’ll want to allow around two to three hours for everything to take place – from guests sitting down and welcoming the bride and groom, to all the courses being served and the speeches and toasts being made. Sticking to your schedule is really important if you’re having evening guests as you’ll not want them waiting outside while you finish the wedding breakfast.

Hollie Bond

Hollie is a lifestyle journalist with over ten years’ experience working in the wedding industry as Lifestyle Editor for You & Your Wedding magazine Also a Regional Editor for Muddy Stilettos, Hollie has written for Square Meal magazine, Family History Monthly, BBC History magazine and Homes & Antiques. In her spare time you can find Hollie in a dance studio practising ballet…

Learn more about Hollie Bond

Wedding Speech Etiquette

speeches before wedding breakfast

  • Traditionally seen as the host, he would usually welcome all the guests to the wedding, and thank them for coming
  • He often will recall a few fond memories of his daughter, and welcome the groom into the family
  • He will then propose a toast of health and happiness to the Bride and Groom
  • In answer to the Father of the Bride the groom will thank him on behalf of himself and his new wife, and also his own parents for their love and support in his upbringing.
  • The Groom also takes this opportunity to thank guests for wedding gifts
  • Any family members or friends unable to attend due to illness will often be given a mention here and wished a speedy recovery.
  • The Groom will very likely want to slip in a few kind words about his Bride - usually saying how beautiful she looks!
  • This is also often the time that gifts are presented to those who've helped with the wedding day, and finally, a toast is made to thank the beautiful bridesmaids.
  • The Best Man would now answer on behalf of the bridesmaids (since women can't possibly speak for themselves!!) before beginning his, usually comic and light-hearted speech.
  • The usual format for the speech entails a few anecdotes of mischief or misfortune from the Grooms past (carefully chosen!) which then culminate in him meeting the bride and changing for the better.
  • Any messages of good luck from absent guests are often read by the Best Man
  • Whilst it's not entirely necessary, the speech often ends with another toast to the Bride and Groom.
  • What happens on the stag, stays on the stag!
  • Don't milk it, don't go for a laugh a second, a few strong jokes are better than 20 weak ones.
  • No ex-girlfriend references, ever!
  • Mind the language - there are grandparents present!
  • Please, please, don't be drunk! Dutch courage is one thing,but slurring your words is not a good look.
  • Beware of the bride - only truly nice things may be said about her today
  • Have a little dig at the groom, but don't bury him in it, you're his best man not his arch nemesis.
  • Don't improvise! You may regret it.

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Wedding Meal & Speeches Photography

Wedding breakfast & speeches photography.

Bride and groom holding each other at wedding speeches

The wedding speeches are such an emotive time for the bride and groom and their family. It’s a time for those close to them to say how much the couple really mean to them. Words that are rarely said in the reality of daily life.

The main wedding meal or wedding breakfast presents so many different options and possibilities depending on your taste and budget.  A buffet in the upstairs rooms of a pub is ideal for those on a budget.  A seated 8-course meal in a top hotel or restaurant suits those with more cash to splash.  Whatever suits you for your wedding meal, there are definitely venues, menus and meal plans that can be tailored specifically for you and your wedding day.

Bride with father standing outside Canvas and Cream Wedding Venue in London

My photography is all about natural moments, but I also need to capture the details. Here I combine both: This portrait of the bride standing chatting to guests with her father also shows the Canvas and Cream Cafe venue in South London.

Announcing the Happy Couple

Generally, the couple are announced into the dining room after their guests are seated. For larger weddings, there is a Master of Ceremonies (MC) or wedding planner who take on this responsibility. Sometimes the couple hire their own or the venue often supplies one as part of their wedding breakfast package. At smaller weddings, the best man or another guest welcomes the couple. Of course, it’s entirely up to you whether this happens at all – you can just sit down with the guests . Some newlyweds prefer this.

The bride and groom being welcomed by their wedding guests at RAF Club, London

Katie & Ludwig being greeted by guests as they enter the dining room for their wedding meal. The Bride and Groom have a narrow passage through the dining room as chairs are pushed back for guests to stand.

The Bride & Groom’s Entrance to Dinner

This is likely to be the first time you will sit down together for a length of time as a married couple. Your entrance makes for a great sequence of photos. However, some couples are rather quick paced during their entrance into the dining room.

In order to capture you from the front, your photographer has to walk backwards through the dining room. This is complicated by erratic table plans and narrow gaps between tables as guests invariably push their seats back to stand. In order to get some great shots, give your photographer a few extra seconds . Do take your time and enjoy the moment!

Bride and bearded groom laughing at their wedding breakfast meal

It’s important for your photographer to capture a nice photo of the couple seated early on in the meal. I prefer natural such as this of Melissa and Thomas, but posing for the camera is good too.

The Photographer’s Meal Break

Your photographer will usually take their break during the meal. People don’t generally need or want photographs of themselves taking mouthfuls of food – having a photographer around at this time can feel somewhat intrusive.  I generally cover the guest’s seating and the couple’s entrance before everyone starts to eat.

Wedding days are often long and the meal is a great time for my break.  I stay nearby in case anything unexpected happens (it often does – see below) and return for the speeches .  In my questionnaire  that I give to couples to fill in on booking, I request they provide me with a meal if it’s a full day.  They are always only too happy to do this and it makes things easier logistically .

Two ladies laughing at wedding breakfast meal holding wine glasses

The mothers of the bride and groom had only met that morning. By the end of the meal they were best friends – as this beautifully natural wedding photo shows.

Bridesmaid at wedding meal in restaurant holding fan and laughing on a hot day

You may remember this bridesmaid on a bus in the chapter on Wedding Travel . Here she is again, fan still in hand on a hot summers wedding day. Some guests are more open to photography than others, and she was definitely one of those.

Baby with hand in man's mouth at wedding

At the start of the wedding breakfast, I capture one guests clowning with his baby daughter. I took a sequence of shots. Shortly after this, she pokes him in the eye! I feature this amusing moment at the top of my About Me page…

Little girl with two spoons in mouth being fed by dad at wedding meal

Children are great to photograph at weddings and I couldn’t resist including this messy eater. Mind you, the chocolate brownie did look that tempting!

During the Meal: Unexpected Moments

So, at this point in proceedings, I’m generally sitting in a nearby room having a bite to eat and enjoying a well-earned breather .  I do like to be within earshot as often a big round of applause will explode from the dining room as a sign that something unexpected is going on.

This is quite likely to happen at a multi-cultural wedding where the couple are from somewhere with different wedding traditions and customs.  I recently shot a Danish wedding where when a guest clicked their glass with cutlery, the couple had to dive under the table and kiss .  I was in and out from my break quite a few times during that one but didn’t mind at all.

Bride's father kisses the bride at Danish wedding in London

This is the Danish wedding: another tradition was for all the guests to get up and kiss the bride. This made for some amazing and fun photography.

Wedding Speech Traditions: a New Way of Doing It.

Traditionally the wedding speeches are made after the main course and before dessert.  However, these days it is becoming more common for couples to bring them forward to the beginning of the meal.  There are lots of advantages to this:

Firstly, there’s the couple who don’t want their photographer to stay until the end of the meal.  They don’t need the evening party to be photographed or maybe the celebration will end after the wedding breakfast.  But the speeches are important to them, and to keep costs down, they will take place just after the guests sit down.

Bride in hysterics at father's wedding speech

Bride Tai laughs hysterically at her father’s speech. Unfortunately, he went on and on and she eventually had to remove the microphone from him. Happily, he took it in good heart.

Bride Looking Embarrassed During Wedding Speeches in Cardiff

It’s not only the groom who gets embarrassed: Here, bride Emma tries to cover her blushes as her father gives his speech at her Hampton Court House wedding .

My Speech Experience

Another important reason is that it lets the speech makers relax and enjoy the rest of the meal.  I was a best man once at the wedding of a good friend.  I can say with authority that I would have enjoyed the meal much more without the thought of the forthcoming speeches.  What if no-one laughed at my jokes or I fluffed the words?  Fortunately all went well and my well-prepared speech was received with laughter and enjoyment. Most guests are relaxed and ready to enjoy the evening and what it brings – including the speeches.

Good News:   I have never witnessed speeches that went badly awry!

Father of the groom holding up a photo of the groom as a baby

A popular speech tactic is for a family member to try to embarrass the groom. Here, his father displays a poster of the groom as a baby – along with an amusing/embarrassing story!

Bride laughing in surprise and groom with hand over mouth during wedding speech in Cardiff

And the couple’s reactions are often priceless: One clearly enjoying the moment at the expense of the other’s embarrassment…

Photographing the Speeches:  Emotions and Fun

Wedding speeches can be such an emotive time for the couple and their close family and friends.  It’s time for the most stoic of family members to tell the room how much the couple really mean. Words and sentiments that are sadly rarely said in the every day reality of life.

I regularly find myself on the verge of tears as the bride’s father tells of a childhood trauma she suffered or speaks of an inspirational mother who has sadly passed on and is not there to witness her daughter’s nuptials.  It can be a very private time as people’s inner thoughts and feelings are laid bare and tributes given.  The photographer is lucky enough to be able to hide behind their camera , but can catch many guests is various states of emotion.  I always try to balance capturing the moment with respecting the occasion.  and am discrete , moving slowly so as not to distract.

Bride's mother crying during wedding speeches

I do try to exercise discretion when photographing emotions. This photo of the bride’s mum in tears I took from the side, so as not to intrude too much on the moment.

Speech Timings: Short or Unexpectedly Long

Most couples assure me that the speeches will only last for five minutes each.  However, the reality is often very different.  Fathers particularly get ‘on a roll’ and very involved in the storytelling.  They often veer drastically off Piste and away from the prepared piece of paper in front of them, thus extending the formal mealtime and, therefore the whole day.  Wedding breakfasts’ are a part of the day that might possibly overrun for many different reasons.  Your venue should be prepared for this and it shouldn’t be too much of a problem.  But it’s a good idea to check with them beforehand.

If you’ve booked your photographer for a set time, ensure that they are happy to stay on in case of a later finish. I’m very flexible and don’t mind doing this at all. I was once due to finish at a wedding in London at 9pm but ended up staying on until gone midnight due mainly to the food being delayed.

Bride's father pointing at guest during the wedding speeches

It’s great when the speeches happen close to the couple as I can photograph their reactions as well as the speaker.

Usually the speeches are made by the father of the bride , the groom and then the grand finale by the best man .  But there are variations on this.  Occasionally the bride herself says a few words.  Sometimes the whole room is opened up with guests asked to say a few special words if they wish.  The main thing to remember is that there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to the wedding breakfast and speeches.

speeches before wedding breakfast

Sometimes the top table is in an awkward position for photography. Many photographer’s would be horrified when faced with light like this but I embrace it. Shooting into the light produced some interesting effects such as the lens flare here.

End of the Wedding Meal:  Another Time for Delay

After the speeches, guests are served dessert and coffee .  There’s nothing more conducive to wedding guests than relaxing after a satisfying meal and sitting awhile.   This is sometimes in conflict with the schedule, particularly if the meal and speeches overran…

The dining room often needs to be transformed into a dance floor.  Tables need to be cleared and a DJ or band have to set up for the evening’s entertainment.  Guests will be asked to retire to the bar or lounge for half an hour whilst all this takes place but may be reluctant to do so .  Don’t worry about this at all.  Experienced wedding venues are adept at handing this and this is not your problem .  Your job is to enjoy your day , not worry about timings and minor issues that do creep in sometimes.  Your wedding planner/venue contact should liaise closely with you and keep you informed.  They should also deal with the ushering of guests as the evening’s entertainment is set up.

Two Wedding Meal Tips

Tip 1: Huge floral displays in the middle of the tables look lovely and really do add to your wedding theme. However very tall arrangements can make it a bit tricky to get clear shots of the couple and their guests during the speeches. If your photography’s important to you, this is well worth considering.

Tip 2: Consider where the speech makers are standing . If they are near you when speaking then there is likely to be more interaction between you and them. Your photographer will capture this, giving context to your photos.

Bride laughing at father's wedding speech whilst groom watches

Important Tip: Positioning the speeches close to where you are sitting gives your photographs more context and the photographer can take both the speaker and the reactions in the same shot.

Father of bride giving speech in old barn ad Pencoed House in Cardiff

It’s good to take a nice overview shot of the speeches such as this one. In this shot taken at Pencoed House near Cardiff , the bride’s father is on the same table which means good reactions from everyone, not least the couple’s little boy sitting not so quietly on bride Catherine’s lap!

Chapter 11: Cake & Dancing – Time to Let Your Hair Down – Next>>>>

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14. Wedding Toasts order of toasts and speeches at Wedding Breakfast - Weddings in Wales at Craig y Nos Castle

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14. Wedding Toasts order of toasts and speeches at Wedding Breakfast

Wedding toasts and wedding speeches.

  • This is our Wedding Planner 'Wedding Toasts & Speeches Advisory' Page . For more wedding planning help, click on Wedding Planner Guide Index or scroll down to the bottom of this page.

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Wedding Toasts

Other good times for toasts are before or after the first course is served or after the main course has been eaten. If toasts are offered after the first course, then the cake cutting ceremony should be delayed until after the guests have completed their main course. After the Best man has presented his toast, then the father of the bride may offer a toast to the bride and groom and to the groom's parents, welcoming the union of the two families. The Groom may then toast his new wife and both sets of parents. These first three toasts may then be followed by toasts from other special guests.

Normally your best man is the ‘master of ceremonies’ at a wedding reception so the toasts start with the best man.

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speeches before wedding breakfast

IMAGES

  1. Wedding speech before the wedding breakfast

    speeches before wedding breakfast

  2. Wedding Speech

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  3. 3 Reasons To Have The Wedding Speeches Before The Meal

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  4. How Will the Wedding Breakfast and Speeches be Captured as Part of My

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  5. Father of the Bride Speech Guide w/ Examples

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  6. Share a tip on making a good Maid of Honor speech! Best Man Wedding

    speeches before wedding breakfast

VIDEO

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  6. Giving A Wedding Speech? Do This First!

COMMENTS

  1. The Wedding Speech Order Guide to Easily Follow

    2. The Father of the Groom or Parents of the Groom. Next up in the traditional order of toasts at a wedding, according to Croce, is the groom's family. This could include the father of the groom's speech, mother of the groom speech or a few words from both parents. Some couples opt to have the father of the groom's speech take place during the ...

  2. A Complete Guide to Order of Speeches at a Wedding

    It's actually harder for a speaker to write and deliver a great short wedding speech, than a standard length one of 7-8 minutes," says Marc. 3. Ask the person before you to introduce you. This saves you from having to clumsily introduce yourself to the room and lets you know when it's okay to start your speech. 4.

  3. Wedding Speech Order: Who Gives Speeches and When?

    Modern Wedding Speech Order. A more common speech order for the modern couple. Rehearsal Dinner. The Couple's Parents: Parents from both sides of the family give speeches (expect anywhere from one to four speeches).; Wedding Party: Anyone from the wedding party has the opportunity to speak (including the best man and maid of honor).; Bride and Groom: The couple acknowledges the prior toasts ...

  4. Wedding Speech Order Guide: Mastering Toasts & Tributes

    During the Wedding Breakfast: Traditional speech timing is during the wedding breakfast, offering a natural break between courses. Before the First Dance: Some couples prefer speeches later in the evening, serving as a transition to the party phase of the reception. Speeches in Modern and Traditional Weddings

  5. What's the Best Time for Wedding Speeches at the Reception?

    Since wedding speeches are an integral part of a couple's big day, we put together a brief guide to help you find the best moments to schedule your special reception toasts. 90 years of expert ...

  6. When Is The Best Time For Wedding Speeches? Before Or After Meal

    So you have the choice of performing to a "dry" hungry crowd before the meal, or a full "merry" crowd after the meal. From a performer's perspective the best time for wedding speeches will be at the end of the meal. (Just as an aside, if you'd like to have your crowd properly warmed up before the speeches, check out my Wedding Emcee ...

  7. The Wedding Speech Order to Follow at Your Reception

    2. The Father of the Groom or Parents of the Groom's Speech. The father or parents of the bride are usually followed by the father or parents of the groom. This formality gives a nod of respect to ...

  8. The Order of Speeches at a Wedding

    Traditionally the speeches are given at the end of the meal - the wedding breakfast. However a bride and groom may often decide during the wedding planning stage to hold the wedding speeches before the wedding breakfast is served so the speech givers can relax and enjoy the meal without worrying about delivering their wedding speech.

  9. Wedding Speeches

    Traditionally, the speeches take place after the wedding breakfast. But you can easily change this if you prefer. I think it's quite nice to do the speeches before your wedding breakfast. It helps to keep them more focussed and shorter as everyone is hungry!! Or you could space them out a little, so maybe do one before the food, one between ...

  10. The Traditional Wedding Speech Order Explained

    The wedding speeches are usually given at a couples' wedding reception, either before or after the meal. ... It might be that you decide to do the speeches before the wedding breakfast so the speech-givers can then relax and enjoy the meal, or have a speech between each course so the guests don't have to listen to a solid block of speeches. ...

  11. Why is it Called a Wedding Breakfast? Everything You Need to Know

    In fact, the wedding breakfast is the meal you have after the ceremony and is unlikely to take place in the morning. It's your main eating event of the day, and is usually followed by the wedding speeches. Years ago, the wedding breakfast would have involved a sit-down meal of a minimum of three courses, or a buffet at a more casual affair.

  12. When you should have your wedding speeches? Expert Wedding Advice

    I will always offer to perform for the start of the wedding breakfast too up until starters are being brought out. This means that there is an ice breaker at the tables as people are getting seated which solves one of the problems that having the speeches before the meal was solving meaning there's even more reason to have speeches after the ...

  13. The Ultimate Guide To Wedding Speeches And Toasts

    The traditional order of speeches and what they should say. Father of the bride/groom. Most speeches will kick off right at the beginning of the wedding reception, when the Father of the Bride will traditionally welcome the guests and introduce the married couple (if the toastmaster hasn't already done so). It has long been customary for the ...

  14. Wedding Speech Order: In What Order Do Wedding Speeches ...

    Next in the wedding speech order is the groom's speech. And often he begins by responding to the father-of-the-bride's speech. The groom: Thanks the father of the bride for his toast. Thanks the guests for attending, and for their gifts. Thanks both sets of parents, either for hosting the wedding, contributing to the wedding, or for simply ...

  15. Wedding Speeches

    Option Two - Wedding speeches AFTER the food - Pros Vs. Cons. PROS. CONS. If you are having a later wedding breakfast and maybe the ceremony has fallen at a time when people were not sure if they should eat before the wedding, having the food before the speeches, means that everyone is nice and full and no longer hungry. The people doing the ...

  16. The Ultimate Guide to Wedding Speeches

    4. Talk about what you love about their partner. Although your main responsibility is to talk about one of the newlyweds, every speech should ultimately be about both of them. Tell their partner why they are the best choice for your friend and what qualities you love most about them. 5.

  17. Wedding Speeches, so when should we do them?

    Before, During or After the Wedding Breakfast? I've decided to write this wedding blog back to front, hopefully by the end you'll see why. I've shot a lot of weddings at this point in my career now so I've seen a full range of wedding breakfasts and speeches and the differences depending on when they're done during the breakfast.

  18. Expert Advice: Best Time for Wedding Speeches

    Making speeches before the wedding breakfast can ease the nerves of the speakers, and provide a lively start to the celebrations. It also gives guests a conversational focal point early on. However, some couples prefer to uphold the tradition of post-meal speeches. It's important to consider what feels most natural for the event and aligns ...

  19. Wedding Speeches

    The Wedding Breakfast Speeches. Traditionally the wedding speeches take place after the wedding breakfast, but these days, owing to the nervousness of the speakers, some prefer to get them out of the way before the meal is served. If this is your choice, the timing of the serving of the meal has to be taken into consideration. If the speeches ...

  20. Wedding Breakfasts: The Complete Guide

    Simply put, the wedding breakfast is the main meal that you serve to your guests after the ceremony and before the wedding speeches and evening party. It usually takes place in the afternoon as most wedding ceremonies will happen late morning or early afternoon. ... At the drinks reception before your wedding breakfast, your friends and family ...

  21. Wedding Speech Etiquette

    Speeches are traditionally made following the 'wedding breakfast' (not actually breakfast - the name hails from times when the Bride and Groom would have fasted before the wedding as it would take place at Mass - though a full English at a wedding is a genius idea!) and before the cutting of the cake.

  22. Ultimate Guide to Wedding Breakfast/Meal & Speeches Photography

    The main wedding meal or wedding breakfast presents so many different options and possibilities depending on your taste and budget. A buffet in the upstairs rooms of a pub is ideal for those on a budget. A seated 8-course meal in a top hotel or restaurant suits those with more cash to splash. Whatever suits you for your wedding meal, there are definitely venues, menus and meal plans that can ...

  23. Wedding Breakfast Explained: Traditions & Trends

    The modern wedding breakfast is now a reflection of the couple's taste and style. Whether it's a grand buffet, a formal sit-down meal, or a casual food truck gathering, each wedding breakfast I photograph tells a unique story. It's about celebrating the new union with a meal that mirrors the couple's journey and sets the tone for the festivities.

  24. 14. Wedding Toasts order of toasts and speeches at Wedding Breakfast

    Wedding Toasts order of toasts and speeches at Wedding Breakfast - Weddings in Wales at Craig y Nos Castle. ... Other good times for toasts are before or after the first course is served or after the main course has been eaten. If toasts are offered after the first course, then the cake cutting ceremony should be delayed until after the guests ...

  25. When do speeches usually happen? : r/UKweddings

    I have been to weddings when they have been one of all those 3 options. Traditionally it is after dinner but we are doing before dinner so people are not nervous while they eat. But I do like the idea of spread out, one before, one during, and one after. Might have a think about that. Reply.