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How To End A Personal Statement So The Admissions Committee Remembers You

• Published January 20, 2023

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Students are often unsure of  how to end a personal statement.  A strong conclusion makes all the difference in whether your application gets noticed by admissions officers or not.

If you’ve just finished writing your personal statement and you’re stuck on your ending, then don’t worry! This article will walk you through the essentials of personal statement conclusions.

Avoid writing a tedious and forgettable ending for your personal statement by following these rules.

Talk About Your Main Points

Don’t end your final paragraph by stating what you’ve never mentioned in the body of your personal statement. Remember, the purpose of your conclusion is to  wrap up  the package.

You shouldn’t say, “My experiences kindled my passion for engineering,” if you didn’t mention these “experiences” in the first place!

So actually summarising your key main body points is a great conclusion in many cases.

Summarise Your Key Points In A Simple Way

After reading thousands of personal statements, the admissions committee will be happy to see you concluding your personal statement with a clear summarisation of the vital points. 

Go over your personal statement and jot down the main takeaway of each paragraph. Once you have that list, find a way to integrate them into your conclusion.

You can dedicate a sentence to each key point, tie them all together, and you now have a conclusion that does what it’s supposed to do!

Use Your Key Points To Restate Your Passion For Your Course

If you’re wondering how to end your personal statement using your key points, use them to restate your passion for the course you’re applying for.

Say your key points including your skills and experiences, and wrap them up by saying, “With the [your specific skills] and [your specific experiences] I’ve gained over the years, I’m committed to [mention your course].”

By doing so, you’re hitting two birds with one stone. One, you’re reminding the admissions committee that you have the skill set necessary to succeed in your course. Two, you’re demonstrating your dedication to your desired course.

Double Down On Your “Why”

Another powerful ending is to remind the reader of your “why.” Many students pursue their chosen course because they’re not sure what else to take.

So being clear on your purpose immediately sets you apart from the rest. 

To do this, take the most heart-moving story from the body of your personal statement on what inspired you to apply for your course. Mention the main idea of it in a sentence or two, then end with a “for this reason, I believe pursuing [mention course] is the best way to achieve my [state your why].”

If your course is related to education, perhaps your “why” is to help children learn by allowing them to show how they learn best.

Say you’re writing a medical personal statement . Maybe your “why” is to forward technology that helps safeguard the elderly from falling accidents because you witnessed your grandparent suffer injuries from a fall when you were young.

Doubling down on your “why” shows your conviction and direction on why you’re applying for your course.

Mention The Next Step Of Your Application Process

What’s the next step after the admissions committee accepts your personal statement? For many courses, they’ll call you up for an interview . Go ahead and mention this in your conclusion!

Write along the lines of “I’m looking forward to dedicating myself to this course, and I would love to receive an invitation for the interview.”

The reader will right away recognise that you’ve done your research. You know what the next step should be. You  are  serious about this application!

Make The Universities Excited To Have You As Their Student

Studying at a university is not merely a means to an end. It’s a profound journey in and of itself! You’ll meet new colleagues, form lifelong communities, and discover mentors who will guide you along with your future career.

Think of them when you’re pondering on how to end a personal statement. What can you contribute as a student to make the university a better place? Demonstrate your excitement in meeting them, building relationships with them, and serving them!

A statement as straightforward as “I am eager to establish new, lifelong relationships and use my [mention your skills] to help make the university a better place for learning and community-building.”

Demonstrate Your Willingness To Learn

Universities exist to train and mould students, not the other way around! A little humility goes a long way. Show yours by demonstrating your willingness to learn. Nothing excites teachers more than willing students.

To pull this off, make sure you know what values your course upholds. It could be service, excellence, inclusivity, and so on. State in your conclusion that “I’m looking forward to learning how to embody [write down the course’s values you resonate with], to grow and succeed in [mention your field of study].”

There’s so much value packed in this simple personal statement ending. Tweak it and make it yours!

Avoid Famous Quotes

Many students insert famous quotes from well-known persons when ending their personal statements. Avoid this tactic as much as possible because you’re driving attention  away  from YOU as the applicant.

If you want to include famous quotes, put them at the beginning of your personal statement to grab attention. To keep your reader’s attention focused on you in the end, why not come up with a memorable, relevant quote of your own?

Use The Bookend Strategy

Bookends are sturdy objects placed at either end of upright books to keep them standing. When you translate that into writing, the bookend strategy is when the introduction and conclusion statements connect to support the body between them.

You may start your personal statement with a heart-wrenching story about how you watched your beloved pet die of the wrong diagnosis. Then, for your conclusion, you can call back on this story and state how this event fuels you to pursue veterinary practice.

The bookend strategy is a clean and efficient way how to end your personal statement.

Ask Help From Your Family And Friends

If you’re still stuck on how to end a personal statement, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Approach your family and friends because they know you more than anyone. Read to them the introduction and body of your personal statement.

Ask them what particular line struck them the most. Maybe they know something about you that you missed including in your personal statement. What characteristics do they see in you that will help you succeed in your course?

Gather their answers in one place, and after reading them in one go, you now have a decent idea of what to emphasise in your conclusion statement.

Never State That It’s The “Conclusion” Or “Summary”

The most boring, generic way to end a personal statement is to write “In conclusion” or “In summary.” It’s actually one of the topics we cover in  what not to put in a personal statement .

Avoid this writing style at all costs. A good conclusion statement doesn’t require explicit announcements.

By its style and structure alone, the reader knows immediately they’re about to read a lasting statement. So don’t hesitate to proceed straight to the major points. As long as the conclusion connects seamlessly with the previous paragraph, you’re good to go!

Stay Authentic

Universities hold honesty in high esteem. Show authenticity and honesty in your personal statement beginning with an attention-grabbing introduction to a strong conclusion.

The best way to radiate honesty in your personal statement is to write from the right mindset. When you work on your personal statement, your objective is to show  who you are and demonstrate why you are a worthy candidate for the course .

Don’t try to impress. If you come from that standpoint, you’re more likely to add embellishments. The experienced admissions committee can smell insincere personal statements from a mile away. So stick with who you are and let your personality shine through.

Give Yourself A Break, Then Come Back To It

When working on how to conclude a personal statement, you need to give yourself time. After writing a rough draft of your conclusion statement, take a break and return to it after a few days. 

When you return to it, you’ll be surprised to notice details you haven’t seen before. Edit as you like, and make it better. Keep the old versions of your conclusion at hand so you can readily compare them with your newest, edited text. Compare and choose which one sounds better.

5 Bad Examples For A Personal Statement Conclusion

These are 5 personal statement examples for conclusions that don’t meet the criteria outlined above.

• In this application essay, I have made it clear I am an outstanding candidate for a degree because I think everyone will love my positive attitude and I deserve it.
• In summary, you can see my highlighted qualifications and experience, I know they’re not the best, but I want to stress that my passion for this field is what sets me apart as a candidate. It shouldn’t matter if the others are more qualified or experienced than me.
• Remember the skills I have, that’s really what sets me apart from other students, they don’t have what it takes to break the rules creatively and not follow the book.
• Finally, I would like to thank you for considering me for this opportunity and I hope you will make the right decision by choosing me, otherwise, I may cry and be disappointed.
• As a final note, it’s easy to see how qualified I am for this degree and how I will excel in it – but you should accept me because I’m cool and will get along with everyone else.

5 Amazing Examples Of A Personal Statement Ending

• In conclusion, I am excited about the opportunity to study computer science at this university. My passion for technology, combined with my programming skills and experience, make me an ideal candidate for the program. I am eager to learn from the esteemed faculty and contribute to the research community. I am confident that this program will enable me to achieve my career goals and make a meaningful impact in the field of technology.
• In summary, I have always been fascinated by the human body and its functions. My experience in volunteering in hospitals, combined with my academic record, makes me confident in my ability to handle the rigours of a medical degree. I am excited about the opportunity to study at this esteemed university and to contribute to the field of medicine through research and patient care.
• To wrap things up, I am excited to pursue a degree in Mechanical Engineering at this university. My passion for designing and building, combined with my experience in physics and mathematics, make me confident that I have the knowledge and skills to excel in this program. I am eager to learn from the esteemed faculty and contribute to the field of mechanical engineering through research and innovation.
• Finally, I am honoured to be considered for a law degree at this university. My passion for justice, combined with my research skills and experience, make me an ideal candidate for the program. I am excited about the opportunity to learn from the esteemed faculty and to contribute to the legal field through research and practice.
• As a final note, I am excited to pursue a degree in Environmental Science at this university. My passion for the environment, combined with my experience in environmental research, makes me confident that I have the knowledge and skills to make a meaningful impact in this field. I am eager to learn from the esteemed faculty and contribute to the field through research and conservation efforts.

How Long Should the Conclusion To A Personal Statement Be?

A personal statement conclusion should be 150-200 words long and leave a positive lasting impression on the reader. A UCAS personal statement should be 4000 characters long, making the conclusion 705-940 characters long – this is just a rough estimation based on the average number of characters per word (4.7).

Do You Feel More Confident Writing A Personal Statement Conclusion?

To  end your personal statement  in the best possible way, you need to know the body’s key points. Use them as pillars when deciding which direction your conclusion takes. 

Will you highlight your future goals? Maybe you want to focus on your why? Take the time to decide. And if you’re stuck, don’t hesitate to ask for help from your family and friends so you can leave a lasting impression on the applications committee.

How much did this article help you out? Don’t forget to bookmark this page for future reference!

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How To End A Personal Statement: Great Final Paragraphs

Second only to the opening paragraph , the closing paragraph of a personal statement is the part that people often struggle with the most.

From repeating key points to underselling achievements and ambitions, a personal statement conclusion can be the least effective aspect of the document.

That’s frustrating, as a personal statement closing paragraph is often the part that leaves the greatest impression in the mind of the reader.

So how should you end a personal statement and create a great final paragraph?

When considering how to end a personal statement, don’t summarize existing content in a repetitive conclusion. Instead, clarify your suitability with a new example and evidence your value to the institution. Lastly, outline your ambitions in relation to the opportunities presented by the course.

I’ve broken down each of these elements in detail so that you can craft a successful personal statement final paragraph…

The Final Paragraph Must Evidence Your Suitability

Instead of detailing all the key areas in which you are a suitable candidate for the course or role early on in your personal statement, it is valuable to hold back at least one example in order to add credibility and weight to your final paragraph.

This could outline an additional course you have completed or a qualification that you have achieved, but it could equally be a volunteering opportunity or work placement that reinforces your suitability for the higher study of a particular subject.

Admissions teams really want to see that applicants are clearly suitable for the courses they’re applying for, but also that they are suitably prepared for academic success.

Essentially, they want to know that you understand what you’ll be doing on the course and that you’re qualified to do it well . That’s why driving this point home in the last paragraph is so important.

For more of my powerful personal statement strategies, just click here .

The table below gives some examples of ways in which you might evidence your suitability in your final paragraph . They won’t all apply to you, but the chances are that you will recognise some of these aspects from your own preparation for higher education, and be able to include them:

Here’s how a sentence might look in a personal statement example…

If you’d like a detailed post on the skills you need to include in your personal statement, then why not check this out?

Outline Your Value to the University or Employer

It’s important that the final paragraph of your personal statement clearly outlines your potential value to the organisation. To understand exactly the kind of content that admissions tutors are looking for, ask yourself this question:

How will the university I am applying for, the faculty in which I will study and the community in which I will live, be better for having me be a part of it? David Hallen

As Whitney Soule, Dean of Admissions at Bowdoin puts it:

If a university can see evidence that you will make a positive contribution to their organisation clearly in the final paragraph of your personal statement, then you will have left them with an excellent impression of your potential.

But how exactly might you add value, and how do you write about it concisely?

Adding Value to your Personal Statement

• Experience of diversity when contextualised in terms of social, cultural, gender, ethnicity, sexuality or ability. Your experiences will add to the wisdom and education of your cohort at a time when identity and empathy is paramount.
• Knowledge of more than your subject . The life experiences, travel, background and passions that make you an individual and that you can share in a positive context are vital.
• Sports skills or related team and community experiences . From playing soccer to white-water rafting, acapella singing or ultimate frisbee, the skills you bring to share with others are an important way to add value.
• Experience of or intention to mentor . If you can show that you intend to mentor and support other students with a particular level of expertise, you’ll be a tremendous asset.
• Proven commitment and dedication . Explain how you have the tenacity and resilience to overcome challenges by equating that with a specific example from your own life, and give the reader the confidence that you will successfully complete the course regardless of the hardships you face.
• If you have experiences of leadership , make these clear and indicate how these are of value to the organisation. From captaining a team to leading on a research project, your ability to motivate and facilitate those around you make you a genuine asset.

A couple of sentences in your final paragraph that meets this goal might look something like this:

For some excellent advice on developing some outstanding personal statement examples, check out my post here . Alternatively, using a free software package like Grammarly can really help applicants convey the depth of their academic value. Check it out here or hit the banner below…

Finish Your Personal Statement by Showing Ambition

The last essential element of a great final paragraph is proof of ambition relating to the content and outcome of the course you are applying for .

If you can show that you have an informed understanding of where the course can take you and a good idea of the demands of the industry you might want to enter, your final paragraph will be far more convincing.

You’ll need to make sure you’ve achieved 3 important tasks before you type a single word…

• You’ve fully researched the course(s) you are applying for and can reference the academic content, employment opportunities and outcomes
• You’ve got some practical and theoretical understanding of the industries related to the course, prior to application
• You’ve given some contextualised thought to your potential role within those industries, and how the course will help you reach that goal

For more specific content on how original a personal statement should be, and just how to include your ambitions and experiences in a way that readers will find compelling, check this post out .

Once you’ve got some notes on these three points, you can put a sentence together that evidences your ambition, promotes your application and demonstrates your understanding of your sector. An effective couple of sentences might look like this:

You can watch a great tutorial on showing ambition in your personal statement below, or check out some helpful UCAS resouces .

Whatever order you decide to tackle them in, if you ensure you include the three elements detailed in this post, you’ll be sure to write a relevant and compelling final paragraph, leaving the reader confident about making you an offer.

Good luck with your personal statement, and don’t forget to contact me if you’d like some 1-1 support. You’ve got this! D

Research and content verified by Personal Statement Planet.

David Hallen

I've worked in the Further Education and University Admissions sector for nearly 20 years as a teacher, department head, Head of Sixth Form, UCAS Admissions Advisor, UK Centre Lead and freelance personal statement advisor, editor and writer. And now I'm here for you...

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Personal Statement Advice

How to perfectly end a personal statement: make an impression & land the job.

By Will Etheridge - 05 June 2023

Ready to take your career to the next level?

CV Wallet is the world's first career management app. Our suite of tools is built to make finding your dream job faster and easier.

Have you ever found yourself asking, "How do I end a personal statement for a job?" If yes, then this comprehensive guide is for you.

We’ll reveal the secret to writing a compelling ending for your personal statement that will leave a lasting impression on employers. Moreover, we'll introduce you to CV Wallet, the world's first career management app, to help streamline your job-seeking process.

Understanding Personal Statements

First things first, what is a personal statement? Essentially, a personal statement is a short, reflective essay you write about yourself. It’s an opportunity to showcase your skills, experience, and aspirations to potential employers.

A well-crafted personal statement can set you apart from other candidates, thereby landing you that much-desired interview call.

A personal statement has three key parts: the opening, body, and ending. Each part is integral, but the closing, often underestimated, plays a pivotal role.

It's your final chance to create a lasting impression, and that's why understanding how to end a personal statement compellingly can make a significant difference.

The Anatomy of a Strong Conclusion in Personal Statements

So, what makes a strong ending to a personal statement? There are several key ingredients:

• Relevance: A strong ending directly aligns with the role for which you're applying. It bridges the gap between your skills, experience, and the job requirements, painting a picture of you as the ideal candidate.
• Reflection: The best endings don't just summarise but reflect on your experiences, showcasing how they shaped you as a professional and how they will help you excel in the prospective job role.
• Future Aspirations: A well-crafted conclusion often hints at your future aspirations within the role, demonstrating enthusiasm and commitment to your career path.
• Call to Action: It may be subtle, but a nudge suggesting what you want to happen next - a call, an interview, or an opportunity to discuss further - can make a big difference.

Step-by-step Guide on How to End a Personal Statement

Now, let's break down the process of writing a compelling conclusion for your personal statement. Follow this step-by-step guide to create an ending that leaves a strong impression.

Step 1: Reiterate Your Enthusiasm 

Reiterate your enthusiasm for the role. Remind the reader about the unique qualities and experiences that make you an ideal fit. However, avoid repeating statements verbatim from the opening or body of your personal statement.

Step 2: Reflect on Your Experiences 

Reflect on your journey, highlighting experiences that uniquely qualify you for the role. Show how your past experiences have equipped you with essential skills and how you intend to leverage them in the future role.

Step 3: Express Your Future Aspirations 

Share your career aspirations, giving an insight into how the role aligns with your professional trajectory. Show how you envision growing and contributing to the organisation.

Step 4: Propose a Follow-up 

End with a subtle call to action, expressing your eagerness to discuss your candidacy further.

These steps are a roadmap to writing an engaging and compelling conclusion for your personal statement. However, remember to tailor it to each specific job application, as a generic ending can dilute your statement's impact.

Common Mistakes to Avoid When Ending a Personal Statement

Crafting a powerful conclusion for your personal statement is just one side of the coin. It's equally important to avoid common pitfalls that could undermine your efforts. Here are a few mistakes to steer clear of:

• Repetition: Avoid rehashing points already made in the statement. The conclusion should be reflective, not repetitive.
• Irrelevance: Stay on point and keep your conclusion relevant to the job role and your personal experiences.
• Being Generic: A generic or templated conclusion can make your statement seem insincere. Tailor your ending to the specific role.
• Negativity or Arrogance: Maintain a confident yet humble tone. Avoid coming across as either overconfident or under-confident.

How to Tailor the End of Personal Statements for Different Jobs

Your personal statement and its conclusion should be as unique as the job you're applying for. Here are some tips on how to tailor your statement's ending for different job roles:

• Research the Role: Understand the role's requirements, the company's culture, and values. Tailor your conclusion to highlight how you fit into this picture.
• Emphasise Relevant Skills: Highlight the skills and experiences most relevant to the role in your conclusion.
• Speak Their Language: Use industry-related keywords and jargon, showing you're familiar with the field.
• Align Your Goals: Show how your career goals align with the role and the company's vision.

Using CV Wallet to Enhance Your Job Application

Now that you're equipped with the knowledge of how to end a personal statement compellingly, let's talk about how the  CV Wallet app can further strengthen your job application.

CV Wallet is a revolutionary tool offering a suite of smart tools to help job seekers. It automates job applications, verifies your skills and qualifications using Blockchain technology, provides AI-powered support for career advice, and more.

It can assist you in crafting an impactful personal statement, offering resources and guidance to ensure your application stands out. The best part? It's free and always will be!

Ending a personal statement with impact is your final chance to leave a lasting impression on the employer. A well-crafted conclusion can be the deciding factor in whether you get a call back for an interview.

Remember, the conclusion is your stage to wrap up your story coherently, reflect on your experiences, and express your enthusiasm for the role. Avoid common pitfalls, tailor your ending to the specific role, and use tools like CV Wallet to perfect your job application.

Mastering the art of how to close a personal statement effectively is indeed a game-changer. Implement these strategies, and you're one step closer to landing your dream job. Good luck with your career journey!

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How to End a Personal Statement: Writing a Conclusion

Reviewed by:

Former Admissions Committee Member, Columbia University

Reviewed: 4/26/24

When you know how to end a personal statement, you boost your chances of making a lasting impact on the admissions committee. It's all about making sure they remember you in a positive way. ‍

Crafting a compelling personal statement is the cherry on top of your college application essay. It's that final chance to leave a lasting impression on the admissions committee, to wrap up your story with finesse, and to underscore why you're the ideal candidate for their institution. 

So, let's delve into the art of writing a powerful conclusion that will make your application shine.

The Importance of a Strong Conclusion

Just like a personal statement introduction , the importance of a strong conclusion in your college application personal statement cannot be overstated. It's your last chance to leave a powerful impression on the admissions committee by summarizing your key points and reinforcing your main message.

A well-crafted conclusion offers clarity, closure, and reflection while expressing your enthusiasm for the future. It's the finishing touch that can make your personal statement truly memorable.

Defining the Purpose of a Personal Statement Conclusion

The conclusion of a personal statement plays an important role:

• Reinforces Your Core Message : It strengthens the central message or theme that runs through your personal statement, leaving a lasting impression of your candidacy.
• Recaps Key Element s: It concisely summarizes the main ideas, important experiences, and notable achievements highlighted in your essay, offering a quick reminder of your qualifications.
• Leaves an Impact : Similar to a memorable closing scene in a movie, a well-crafted conclusion can have a powerful impact. Whether through a thought-provoking question, an impactful quote, or a glimpse into your future goals, it aims to engage the reader's thoughts and emotions.
• Demonstrates Your Writing Skills : Your conclusion also shows off your writing abilities, highlighting your capacity to convey your message effectively and memorably.

The conclusion adds the final touch to your personal statement. It brings clarity, wraps things up, and encourages reflection while showing your excitement for the future. Remember, a personal statement is not a statement of purpose . 

It’s all about explaining why you’re the right candidate for the program you’re applying to, rather than simply explaining why you’re applying. You need to stand out! This is your final opportunity to leave a strong impression on the admissions committee, making sure they understand why you're an exceptional applicant.

Selecting the Right Approach for Concluding

When you're reaching the end of your personal statement, it's crucial to select an approach that harmonizes with the tone and message of your essay. Take a moment to reflect on the story you've shared and the impression you aim to leave with the admissions committee.

If your personal statement has revolved around a narrative, a reflective conclusion that links back to your story can be fitting. Conversely, if your essay leans towards analysis or persuasion, you might opt to restate your main argument or emphasize the key points. 

Think about what will resonate most with your reader, and make sure your conclusion seamlessly follows the flow of your preceding content. This ensures a cohesive and impactful ending to your personal statement.

Summarizing Key Points

A concise summary can be highly effective in the conclusion of your personal statement. Revisit the main points, experiences, or achievements you've shared in your essay. This summary provides a quick refresher for the reader and reinforces your most significant qualifications and attributes.

It's a way to emphasize what makes you a strong candidate without restating everything in your essay. Keep it brief and focused, highlighting the highlights that best support your application. This approach ensures that your conclusion leaves a lasting impression while staying concise and to the point.

Reiterating the Thesis or Main Message

In your personal statement, you often have a central theme or message, such as your passion for a subject, your dedication to community service , or your ability to overcome challenges. Reiterating this thesis or main message in the conclusion is valuable.

By reinforcing the importance of your central theme and explaining how it relates to your desire to be a part of the college community, you can leave a strong and lasting impression on the admissions committee. This restatement emphasizes your unique qualities and aspirations, helping your personal statement stand out.

Ending With a Thought-Provoking Question

Ending your personal statement with a thought-provoking question can engage the reader and invite them to reflect further on your essay's themes. This question should tie back to your story and message, encouraging the admissions committee to consider its implications. 

However, be mindful not to make the question overly open-ended. Instead, guide the reader toward thoughtful reflection on your experiences and goals, reinforcing your candidacy effectively.

Closing With a Powerful Quote

Adding a meaningful quote to your conclusion can elevate your personal statement. Just make sure it aligns with your essay's themes and provides valuable insights. A well-picked quote connects your story to a broader perspective, making a lasting impact.

Suggesting Future Goals or Intentions

If your future goals align with the college you're applying to, your conclusion can serve as a bridge between your past experiences and your future aspirations. You can briefly mention how your journey has prepared you for what lies ahead and how you intend to contribute to the college community. 

This not only demonstrates your enthusiasm but also highlights the value you'll bring to the college. Just ensure that your future intentions feel authentic and well-aligned with your personal narrative.

In a nutshell, your choice of conclusion approach can make a world of difference in how your personal statement lands with the admissions committee. The right conclusion, like the perfect closing note of a melody, can leave a lasting impression that resonates with those who read it.

Determining the Most Suitable Conclusion Approach

Keep reading for the key points on how to determine the most suitable conclusion approach for your personal statement:

• Identify Your Main Message : Begin by pinpointing your personal statement's central theme or message. What have you been trying to convey throughout your essay? This central message should guide your choice of conclusion.
• Consider Your Audience : Think about the admissions committee who will be reading your personal statement. What type of conclusion would resonate with them? Consider what qualities or values they seek in prospective students.
• Match the Style : Reflect on the style of your essay. Have you been narrating a story, reflecting on experiences, making a persuasive argument, or analyzing a topic? Your conclusion should align with the style you've used throughout your essay.
• Authenticity Is Key : Ensure that your conclusion is authentic and true to your own voice. It should reflect your genuine self and not feel forced or insincere.
• Don't Shy Away from Unconventional Approaches : Sometimes, a slightly unconventional conclusion approach can leave a more memorable impression. Don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone if it enhances your message and connection with the reader.
• Seek Feedback : Share your conclusion approach with trusted individuals who are familiar with college applications. They can provide valuable insights into the effectiveness of your chosen approach.
• Get Support : Don't be afraid to ask for assistance if you need it. Our team of experts is here to provide personalized support in crafting your personal statement introduction, making sure it truly stands out.

Your conclusion is your final opportunity to make an impact, so choose an approach that feels right for you and effectively conveys your message to the admissions committee.

Check out our database of over 55 free college personal statement examples . It's your go-to resource for crafting a standout statement that reflects your goals and experiences. Whether you're applying for undergrad or grad school, we've got you covered with diverse examples to inspire your writing. Dive in and unleash the potential of your application!

How Long Should the Conclusion of a Personal Statement Be?

When it comes to the length of your personal statement conclusion, try to keep it around 150 to 200 words. This range strikes the right balance between wrapping up your essay effectively and leaving a memorable mark on your reader.

Remember, though, that different application platforms may have specific word limit guidelines. For instance, the Common Application allows for personal statements ranging from 250 to 650 words, while the Coalition Application suggests 500 to 650 words. QuestBridge, on the other hand, typically sticks to a 650-word limit.

So, as you craft your conclusion, always keep an eye on those word limits. Staying within them showcases your ability to convey your message concisely and demonstrates your adherence to application guidelines, which admissions committees appreciate.

It's your chance to end your personal statement on a high note, leaving a positive and lasting impression.

Tips for Personal Statement Endings

Writing an effective personal statement ending for your college application is crucial. Here are some tips to help you create a compelling and memorable conclusion:

• Reflect on Your Journey : Take a moment to think about the experiences and challenges you've faced during your academic journey. Your conclusion should connect these elements to your future aspirations.
• Revisit Your Main Message : Your personal statement likely conveys a central message about yourself. Reiterate this message in your conclusion, but do so in a way that adds depth or a new perspective to it.
• Engage Your Reader : Consider ending with a thought-provoking question or a powerful quote that relates to your essay's themes. This can stimulate the reader's thoughts and emotions and leave a lasting impression.
• Look to the Future : If applicable, hint at your future goals and how they align with the college you're applying to. This demonstrates your enthusiasm and commitment to contributing to the college community.
• Match the Tone : Ensure that your conclusion aligns with the overall tone and style of your personal statement. Whether your essay is reflective, narrative-driven, analytical, or persuasive, the conclusion should feel like a natural extension of your essay's content and style.
• Stay Concise : While your conclusion is essential, it should also be concise. Avoid introducing new information or going into extensive detail. Instead, focus on reinforcing key points and leaving a strong impression.
• Proofread and Revise : Just like the rest of your personal statement, your conclusion should be well-edited and error-free. Proofread it carefully and consider seeking feedback from teachers, mentors, or peers.
• Follow Word Limits : Adhere to any word limits provided by the application platform. Typically, a personal statement ending should be around 150-200 words, but this can vary depending on the application portal.

Remember, a conclusion is your final chance to leave a positive and lasting impression on the admissions committee. Use it wisely to showcase your strengths, uniqueness, and commitment to your academic and personal journey.

Examples of Great Personal Statement Conclusions

Now, let's take a look at some personal statement conclusion examples for inspiration.

Statement Example 1

“Our first theater meeting of the year was about a month ago. Remembering my freshman year, I brought everyone on stage. This year, I switched it up. Everyone stood in the circle for icebreakers. After each response, I asked follow-up questions and prompted others to share stories of similar experiences. And just like me, there were nervous freshmen, with little to no experience. This time, I spoke up: “Oh I’ve never heard of that show. Tell me about it sometime.”

Why This Ending Worked?

This ending worked because it circles back to the beginning, creating a sense of closure and symmetry. By recalling the initial theatre meeting and contrasting it with the present, the conclusion highlights personal growth and leadership development.

It effectively showcases the candidate's ability to engage with others, take initiative, and foster a supportive community, all of which are desirable qualities in many academic and professional settings.

Statement Example 2

“Now, I don’t let people go below what I like to call the [NAME] standard’. If I feel like someone is not treating me or my friends fairly, I don’t entertain their company.

What [NAME] did wasn’t anything extravagant. He didn’t give his kidney and he didn’t race down the 101 to save me from some terrible tragedy. However, the appreciation that [NAME] showed for me and how he vocalized who I was to him, meant all the difference to me.

Now, I always let my friends know that I appreciate them and that I am thankful to have them in my life. This gift has helped me with choosing better friends who I love and appreciate. Thanks to Ben, he’s shown me how great life is when you're not alone.”

This ending worked because it emphasizes personal growth and gratitude while also acknowledging the influence of someone significant in the candidate's life. 

The conclusion adds depth and sincerity to the narrative by expressing appreciation for a friend's impact. It illustrates the candidate's values, particularly regarding friendship and integrity, and suggests how these values shape their relationships and decisions.

Statement Example 3

“I’m proud to say I can be vulnerable and act on my insecurities. I became an amicable, self-aware, and social person gaining respect and friendship amongst teachers and peers. Throughout college, I make sure to spend time with my family by cooking dinner for them once a week, sending them silly texts of cute animals, or just giving them a call. My transition to becoming more open has ultimately led to my career path as an [JOB TITLE] - creating better lives for marginalized communities. Understanding what other people go through and being susceptible will allow me to properly achieve my goals and assist those in need. It’s [YEAR], and my dad is in the best shape of his life. I show my gratitude by accompanying him during his checkups and scolding him for trying to eat poorly.”

This ending worked because it brings the narrative full circle by revisiting a key theme introduced earlier in the statement: family and vulnerability. 

By sharing a specific, heartfelt moment with their father, the conclusion underscores the candidate's personal values and aspirations. It demonstrates a commitment to family and community, as well as a sense of responsibility towards others, which aligns well with their chosen career path.

Statement Example 4

“In conclusion, I am excited about the opportunity to study computer science at this university. My passion for technology, combined with my programming skills and experience, make me an ideal candidate for the program. I am eager to learn from the esteemed faculty and contribute to the research community. I am confident that this program will enable me to achieve my career goals and make a meaningful impact in the field of technology.”

This ending worked because it succinctly summarizes the candidate's motivation and qualifications while expressing enthusiasm for the opportunity. 

It reiterates their passion for the field and their confidence in their abilities, leaving a positive impression on the reader. The conclusion effectively reinforces the candidate's suitability for the program and their commitment to making a meaningful contribution.

Statement Example 5

“In summary, I have always been fascinated by the human body and its functions. My experience in volunteering in hospitals, combined with my academic record, makes me confident in my ability to handle the rigours of a medical degree. I am excited about the opportunity to study at this esteemed university and to contribute to the field of medicine through research and patient care.”

This ending worked because it encapsulates the candidate's passion for medicine and their readiness for the challenges ahead. It combines their practical experience with their academic achievements, reinforcing their confidence in pursuing a medical degree. 

The conclusion conveys excitement and purpose, leaving the reader with a strong sense of the candidate's dedication to their chosen profession.

Statement Example 6

“Finally, I am honoured to be considered for a law degree at this university. My passion for justice, combined with my research skills and experience, make me an ideal candidate for the program. I am excited about the opportunity to learn from the esteemed faculty and to contribute to the legal field through research and practice.”

This ending worked because it reinforces the candidate's commitment to pursuing a career in law while also expressing enthusiasm for the educational opportunity. It succinctly summarizes their qualifications and motivations, leaving a positive impression on the reader. 

The conclusion highlights the candidate's passion for justice and their eagerness to contribute to the legal profession, underscoring their readiness for further study and professional growth.

Wondering how to conclude a personal statement? Let’s take a closer look by going over some commonly asked questions.

1. Is It a Good Idea to Reiterate the Main Message or Thesis Statement When Concluding a Personal Statement?

It's a smart move to recap your main message when concluding your personal statement. Reiterating your central theme creatively reinforces your uniqueness as an applicant without being repetitive, making a lasting impact on the reader.

2. Is It Acceptable to End a Personal Statement With a Question or a Quote?

Absolutely, you can conclude your personal statement with a question or quote that fits your essay's tone and message, engaging the reader and reinforcing your key points.

3. Can I Summarize the Key Points of My Personal Statement in the Conclusion?

Summarizing key points in your conclusion is a common and effective practice. Keep it short and sweet, focusing on the highlights that really support your application. 

Final Thoughts

There you have it! Your personal statement's conclusion is crucial. Now that you know how to end a personal statement, you're ready to leave a strong impression on the admissions committee. Your conclusion is your final chance to convince them that you're the right candidate for the opportunity. Make it count!

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How To Write a Personal Statement That Stands Out

Table of contents

Laura Jane Bradbury

A personal statement is a chance to highlight your unique qualities, skills, and experiences, all while showcasing your personality.

But whether you're applying for university, a job, or funding, it can be daunting to write about yourself. To increase your chances of getting accepted, it's important to know how to create an effective personal statement.

In my six years as a copywriter, I’ve written many personal statements that get results. In this article, I’ll guide you through what to include, what to avoid, and how to tailor a personal statement based on your application type.

Key Takeaways

• A personal statement is an opportunity to share your unique qualities, experiences, and skills.
• It should always relate to the course, job, or funding you are applying for.
• Include accomplishments and experiences that demonstrate how suited you are to the position or course you are applying for.
• Use clear and simple language to ensure your points are understood.

Your personal statement should be concise and demonstrate how you fit the position or opportunity you’re applying for. It’s important to keep information relevant, rather than listing all of your skills and accomplishments.

Follow these steps to accurately write and tailor your statement.

Understand your prompt

Before you start, make sure you understand what's expected of you. Are there specific instructions, keywords, or phrases that stand out in your prompt? Read through it thoroughly and note the requirements. You can then brainstorm ideas for each point.

Let's say I'm applying for a university journalism course. I've been asked to write a statement that shares why I'm interested and why I would be a good fit. I can use columns to plan my content:

Putting your ideas together first makes it easier to stay on track. Otherwise, you might lose focus and include irrelevant information. 

Show, don't just tell

Once you’ve listed your experiences, skills, and accomplishments, consider how you can demonstrate them with examples. Take a look at the list you created during the previous exercise and organize your points so you have clear examples and proof.

This technique helps you demonstrate your experiences and how they tie in with your application.

When telling anecdotes, use engaging stories that demonstrate your skills. For instance, a story about how I handled a fast-paced news internship proves I work well under pressure. 

Start strong

Recruiters, application tutors, and funders read lots of personal statements. You can make yours stand out with an engaging introduction.

Examples of a strong opening include:

A meaningful statistic

This draws readers in and increases credibility: 

"Communication is the key to marketing success, according to Business Marketing News. With five years of experience communicating and delivering campaigns to global clients, I have the skills and passion to add value to your team."

A personal story

Anecdotes connect the reader with the author’s real-life experience: 

"My first exposure to microbiology was during my time as a research assistant for a microbiologist. I was fascinated by the complex and intricate processes within cells."

An alarming statement

This piques the reader’s interest by making an issue seem urgent:  

“ The fashion industry churns out clothes at an alarming rate, causing mass production of synthetic fibers and harsh chemicals which have a detrimental impact on the planet. Funding my sustainability initiative is vital to mitigating this environmental impact." 

Avoid cliches such as "From a young age, I have always loved...." and "For as long as I can remember, I have had a passion for..."

Pro tip: Use Wordtune Editor 's Shorten feature to cut unnecessary fluff and make your intro sharper. Simply type in your sentence and click Shorten to receive suggestions.

Get Wordtune for free > Get Wordtune for free >

Admission committees and employers appreciate sincerity and authenticity. While it may be tempting, avoid exaggeration. You can better emphasize your skills and personality by being honest. For instance, rather than claiming I read every type of newspaper in my journalism application, I can focus on my dedication to reading The New York Times.

Your writing style should also feel genuine. Instead of trying to impress with complex language and fancy words, keep sentences simple and direct . This makes them more effective because they’re easier to read. 

Address weaknesses

Addressing weaknesses can show your willingness to confront challenges. It also gives you a chance to share efforts you have made for improvement. When explaining a weakness, exclude excuses.

Instead of saying "I didn't achieve my expected grades due to work commitments impacting my studies," try “While I didn't achieve my expected grades, I am now working with a tutor to help me understand my weak areas so I can succeed in your program.”

Wordtune’s Spices feature can help you develop counterarguments to weaknesses. In the Editor, highlight your text, click on Spices, and then Counterargument . Here’s an example:

Using Wordtune’s suggestion, I can highlight my eagerness to learn and provide examples to support my argument.

Highlight achievements

This is your chance to shine! A personal statement should highlight your best qualities — provided they relate to your prompt.

Ask yourself:

• What are your skills and strengths? Identify both academic and non-academic abilities such as critical thinking, problem-solving, and teamwork.
• What challenges have you faced? Reflect on how you have overcome significant challenges and how these experiences have helped you grow. For example, completing a course, learning a new language, or starting a business.
• What are your unique selling points? Consider what sets you apart from other applicants. For example, you may have a unique set of technical skills or experience learning in a different country.
• How have your achievements shaped your goals and aspirations? Sharing your goals shows that you think long-term and have taken the time to make sure you’re applying for the right opportunity.

Connect with the institution or company

Tailor your statement to the specific institution or company you're applying to — this shows you understand their values and have carefully considered where you want to seek opportunities.

To do this, head to the company or institution’s website and look for the About page. Many organizations include a mission statement on this page that conveys its purpose and values.

For example, universities often include their values under “Community” or “Student Life” sections. Here, Princeton University’s “In Service of Humanity” section highlights how they value using education to benefit society. Applicants can engage with this by explaining how they interact with their communities and seek to use their education to help others.

You can also research a company or institution’s social media. Look for similarities — maybe you both prioritize collaboration or think outside the box. Draw upon this in your personal statement. 

End with a strong conclusion

A strong conclusion is clear, concise, and leaves a lasting impression. Use these three steps:

• Summarize the main points of your statement. For example, “My experience volunteering for the school newspaper, along with my communication skills and enthusiasm for writing, make me an ideal student for your university."
• Discuss your future . Share your future ambitions to remind the reader that you’ve carefully considered how the opportunity fits into your plans.
• Include a closing statement. End on a positive note and offer the reader a final explanation for why you would be a great match. For instance, “Thank you for reviewing my statement. I am confident my skills and experience align with the role and your company culture.”

Tip: Learn more about writing an effective conclusion with our handy guide . 

Different types of personal statements

Now you know how to write a personal statement, let’s look at what to focus on depending on your application type.

The length of your personal statement will vary depending on the type. Generally, it should be around 500 words to 650 words . However, a university application is often longer than a statement for a job, so it’s vital to determine what is expected of you from the beginning.

Whatever the length, it’s important to remove and edit content fluff , including any repetition or copy that does not relate to your prompt.

Personal statement checklist

Use this checklist to ensure that your statement includes: 

• An engaging introduction.
• Clear examples of your experiences, skills, and expertise. 
• A commitment to improvement, if required.
• Any applicable achievements. 
• A direct connection to the company or institution’s values.
• A strong conclusion that summarizes information without adding new content.
• Authentic, simple language.

Personal statements are an opportunity to delve deeper and share who you are beyond your grades or resume experience. Demonstrate your ability with anecdotes and examples, address any weaknesses, and remember to use genuine and simple language. This is your place to shine, so follow our tips while displaying your unique personality, and you’ll be sure to stand out from the crowd.

Want to get started and create a powerful introduction? Read our step-by-step guide .

What is the difference between a cover letter and a personal statement?

A cover letter expresses your interest in a position and introduces you to an employer. It’s typically shorter and focuses on your qualifications, skills, and experience for a particular role. A personal statement, however, is common for a job, internship, funding, or university application. It explores your background, goals, and aspirations, as well as your skills and experience.

What is the purpose of a personal statement?

A personal statement is an opportunity to stand out by detailing your background, experiences, and aspirations. It should explain why you are interested in and a good match for the company or institution you are applying to.

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How to Write a Strong Conclusion to Your Personal Statement

Written by David Lombardino   |  Updated February 23, 2024

Hook Them Through to the End

You can hook your reader with the introduction to your personal statement . And you can wow them with magical words in your personal statement . But if you don’t write a strong conclusion to your personal statement? You’ll leave program directors and admission committees with a whimper, rather than a bang.

The conclusion forms a critical part of your personal statement. Program directors and admission committees may skip to it after reading your introduction. Or they may start with it, even before reading your introduction.

The reason they do this? To get through the many applications they have to review each cycle.

Good conclusions will deliver the points admission committees expect to see. And great conclusions will enhance their views of you as an applicant.

Here, I present how to write a great conclusion to your personal statement.

Where Does This Advice Come From?

It comes from my 8 years as an editor at UNESCO prior to founding DLA back in 2008 . It comes from interviews I've had with program directors and those who serve on admission committees. And it comes from 15+ years of helping applicants like you write outstanding personal statements .

3 Key Concepts and a Formula for Success

How do you write a conclusion in a personal statement? It starts with these three concepts:

• Avoid stating it is your conclusion;
• Avoid introducing an unsupported concept; and
• Be specific in the details.

First, I will discuss these three key concepts in detail. Then I will share my foolproof method for how to write a personal statement conclusion.

Key #1: Avoid Stating It Is Your Conclusion

A thought you may have is to start your conclusion with “In conclusion.” Or “In summary.” You want to make sure to avoid this, or anything similar.

Why is this? Program directors and admission committees see it's your last paragraph. In other words, they already know it's your conclusion. So make your personal statement great by leaving this out.

Simply, using extra words makes your writing less engaging. Wordiness can indicate a lack of diligence or maturity. It can indicate a lack of focus or clarity. And it can indicate self-doubt in what you are writing.

This is true, no matter where it may occur in your personal statement.

Key #2: Avoid Introducing an Unsupported Concept

Great conclusions advance the concepts of your personal statement. This means avoiding introducing an unsupported idea. Instead, make sure all ideas connect back to what you have written earlier.

Let's say, for example, you haven't yet discussed your love of teaching. And teaching is important to your future career. You'll certainly want to include it in your conclusion. So just make sure you've written about it earlier in your personal statement. That way, it won't come out of nowhere when writing about it in your conclusion.

If you write a new, unsupported idea in your conclusion, you may convey:

• You do not know how to effectively organize your personal statement;
• You are trying to cram too many ideas into your personal statement; or
• You are ticking off a checklist of what to say.

There are a couple of exceptions to this point. Are you an older candidate? Do you have multiple significant items you need to discuss? There may simply be not enough room for all these in the body paragraphs. In this case, your only option may be to present one in the conclusion.

In such cases, there are a few guidelines to follow. First is you must fully develop the new idea in your conclusion. You must do more than simply mention it.

Second, it must extend from a point made earlier in the personal statement. It must have a foundation.

Finally, it must dovetail seamlessly with the rest of the conclusion. And it must do so without the conclusion becoming too long. (This can be challenging, so don't be afraid to ask for help.)

Key #3: Be Specific in the Details

Key to writing a great personal statement is being specific . This means being specific both in the words you use (e.g., avoiding using “thing”) and in the details you write.

Many candidates make the mistake of being vague in the conclusion. This relates especially to what you wish to accomplish in the program. You may want to write to "increase my knowledge." Or you may want to write to "gain exposure in a variety of settings."

Can you make these more specific, so they can be more effective for you? For example, in what specific areas do you wish to increase your knowledge? What specific settings do you want to gain exposure to?

Any ways you can be more specific will make your conclusion stronger.

Formula for a Great Conclusion to Your Personal Statement

The formula I present here takes you step by step through writing your conclusion. It includes how to start the conclusion to your personal statement. It includes how to end it. And it includes how long your personal statement conclusion should be.

While the formula makes a logical progression, feel free to change it up. If you find another order works better for you, then go for it. Just make sure you have covered each item in your conclusion.

How Long Should the Conclusion to a Personal Statement Be?

Part 1: start with your vision for your future career.

The key to a great conclusion is in how you start. Start with your vision for your future career. This is a single sentence stating where you see yourself 5 to 10 years from now. Think of your vision as your conclusion's thesis statement.

The vision can be your medium-term goals, your long-term goals or both. Choose whichever option brings a better focus and context for your conclusion.

For example, you may wish to pursue cardiology fellowship after internal medicine residency.

Or you may wish, after law school, to enter private practice with time devoted to pro bono work.

But what if these goals change as you progress through the program? That's okay. You don't have to get them exactly right in your personal statement. And you don't have to stick to them just because you mentioned them.

The aim here is to demonstrate a clear vision for the path you are on. Being intentional will make your application stand out.

Part 2: Next, State Precisely What You Seek to Accomplish in the Program

After establishing your medium- and long-term goals, work backward from there. Perform a self-assessment. What precisely do you need to accomplish next? What next step will better position you to achieve your career vision?

The more specific you can be with these answers, the better. Then frame these as what precisely you seek to accomplish in the program.

For example, will you aim to apply for a cardiology fellowship? Then pursuing cardiology electives would be a goal for internal medicine residency.

What about for applying to law school? Is your long-term goal to practice in an area with litigation? Then a goal for law school would be to participate in mock trial.

Part 3: Then, Therefore, State the Specific Aspects You Are Seeking in a Program

First, you established your vision. Then you identified the next step to take toward achieving that vision. Now state which aspects would equip you to achieve that next step.

Does the program have a high rate of case types that align with your interests? Does it offer certain relevant technologies? Training in certain techniques? Particular courses or electives ?

Are there particular faculty whose research interests fascinate you?

What about elective rotations? Or partnerships available in the program?

Do they offer an elective rotation in a cath lab? That would be great for someone wanting a career in cardiology. What about a renown mock trial program? That would be great for a career in litigation.

And you can go further. Are you an aspiring Vietnamese doctor or lawyer? Do you want to work with Vietnamese immigrants? Does the program you are applying to serve such a population? Then mention that.

Geographic and Other Ties to the Program

Do you have geographic or other ties to the program? For example, do you have family or close friends in the area? Do you have colleagues who graduated from the program where you are applying? Great! This is where you would mention them.

This applies even if you are applying for medical residency and are specifying geographic and other preferences in your ERAS Application .

For each of your top-choice program(s), write a different version of your conclusion. Tailor it to each program.

Then group all the other programs by common features (e.g., geography). Make sure to be as specific as possible when doing so. Then tailor a different version of your conclusion for each group of programs.

Part 4: Finally, State What You Offer to the Program

Have you accomplished the above three points? Great! All that's left is to state what you offer to the program.

This is actually quite easy. Start by identifying the themes you have written in your personal statement. Check your introduction and each body paragraph. Then list these themes, in keyword form, as what you offer to the program.

In this way, you accomplish two goals. First is to wrap up your personal statement's main points. Second is to provide a forward-looking statement as you bring it to an end.

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25 Ways to Effectively Conclude a Personal Statement

In General by Think Student Editor June 3, 2021 Leave a Comment

Writing your personal statement can be a tedious task, as it essentially is an essay you have to write about yourself, which is something most people struggle with. This essay will provide you with ways in which you can conclude your personal statement effectively, as well as things that you shouldn’t do and what would be more effective instead.  

Disclaimer: The ideas expressed in this article are from one student writer. Not all of the ideas may be effective, however the aim of this article is to provide you with some ideas you could include in your personal statement.

Read on for 25 great tips on how to conclude your personal statement.  

1. Structure  

For writing most personal statements you must ensure that there is a good ratio of academic work as well as extra-curriculars and other things about you. The ratio that works for most people is 70:30, with the 70 being academic. However, prospective students for the most competitive courses and universities, will tend to write less about extra curriculars and instead they will have the ratio 80:20, the 80 being academic work.   

Collectively, students write more about their academic work and therefore they tend to leave their extra-curriculars and more personal notes to the end. This means that  most students conclude with extra-curriculars, particularly Oxbridge applicants  as those students want the majority of their personal statement to be academic.   

This ratio is something you should keep in mind when writing a personal statement as it is crucial you have the structure that suits you with the course and university that you are applying to.  

  This  article from UCAS will support you in structuring the best possible personal statement.  

2. Personal experiences  

When writing a personal statement, you want to ensure that your writing is palpable and provides any reader with authenticity regarding who you are and about what you want to achieve. A common technique that is used is  referencing a personal experience you have had, which has led to you wanting to pursue a particular course.  

For instance, a prospective medicine applicant may write – “since, volunteering at my local GP, it has sparked my interest in medicine as I have enjoyed discussing health with patients and practitioners – this then led me to apply for this course as I seek to pursue medicine in order to support communities and to promote having a good health.”  

This personal experience illustrates passion for this course and highlights the types of things that this student would want to achieve in pursing this course. It is vital that when using this technique that you specific exactly what you have done and then what this has led to want to do. This will allow you to give an insight about who you are and what you would like to do.    

This is effective as it conveys why you want to do the course, which is crucial to include, if you haven’t already included this in your personal statement.  

3. Rhetorical questions

Another technique you can use as a rhetorical question . It is crucial that if you do use a rhetorical question to end your personal statement, that you don’t just use it for the sake of using it and that it is actually something that is of interest to you.  

A rhetorical-question, can be ineffective if it is something that doesn’t genuinely interest you. If you use this technique and have an interview at a university, this question is likely to come up, so it must be something that you are willing to talk about.  

For instance, if you are wanting to study English literature at university and are writing about ambiguity within texts throughout, you may end with “How is the element of ambiguity presented in modern literature?”  

This is effective as it demonstrates your curiosity for the subjects and therefore it highlights your fascination and your desire to learn and further your understanding .  

4. Quote 

Another technique that can be used when concluding your personal statement is by using a quote. This tends to be used by students who want to study essay-based subjects like English or history; however, it can be used by anyone, applying to study any subject.  

When using this it is important that you use a quote from a book/text that you properly understand and that you are genuinely curious abou t. As there is a limited amount, of characters that you can use, you must ensure the length of your quote is suitable. Obviously, you shouldn’t cut out parts of the quote that are most meaningful, but you should be wary of the limited word count, as when you are concluding your personal statement, students tend to run out of characters   

For instance, if you want to study biology and you are interested in evolution you may use Charles Darwin’s quote “it is not the strongest of the species that survive, but the ones that are responsive to change”. Now, whilst students can use this quote and quotes likes this, it is important that it is contextualised, and it is clear what the student is trying to convey.  

5. Refer back to a common theme  

Some students end with an explanation of a common theme used throughout. For instance, a student may use the theme knowledge is power and how it links to the activities they have done and their courses and then may end with a textual reference/experience, which links to how knowledge is power.  

  It is important that certain themes are uncovered in your personal statement –  by referring back to a common theme in the end, it ensures that your personal statement is coherent and thus is an effective concluding point.  

6. Cyclical structure 

A cyclical-structure, is a structure in which you link back to the initial point you made in your personal statement . This can be effective if the initial point you made is something worth coming back to. Using, this structure will ensure that your essay is clear; however, you may not want to reinforce the point made at the beginning – you should be careful with your implementation of this structure, as only then will this be effective.  

For instance, you may begin your personal statement writing about your interest in communication and wanting to study Spanish. When concluding you can again make mention of a different experience that you have encountered with communication. In this scenario, it would be effective to use a cyclical structure as communication links to Spanish and making mention of it twice reinforces passion for the subject.  

7. Plans for the future

Writing about plans for the future at some point in your personal statement is fundamental in displaying why you want to study the course that you have selected  – if you haven’t mentioned this before (you don’t want to repeat yourself!), mentioning plans for the future in your concluding lines is important.  

For instance, you can write about wanting to become a paediatrician and wanting to improve the health of children etc. This will illustrate your suitability for certain courses, as you have mentioned your career prospects, confirming that the course you want to study is the right course for you.  

8. What the course will allow you to do

When concluding your personal statement, you can make mention of what the course will allow you to do.  For instance, you could write about how your degree in politics will allow you to have a career in consultancy/civil service.  Writing about what the course will allow you to do will evince your passion to study the course at university .  

9. Anecdote

To conclude,  you may decide to end with an anecdote conveying why you want to study a particular course or what has inspired you . Conveying inspiration is important as it reveals when you started to become Intrigued by your course.  

For instance, you could state that a specific topic in a geography lesson sparked your enthusiasm for geography and thus it is something you wish to pursue.  

When including an anecdote, it is important that you show integrity, as otherwise it won’t resonate with you and demonstrate the type of person you are.  

10. Conclude what’s been stated

Whilst you don’t want to repeat yourself in your personal statement, you may want to leave the end to summarise all of the points you have made. For instance,  you may state the key points to enforce the message you are trying to present.  

You must be careful when doing this as you don’t want to repeat yourself, as when using this you only want to reinforce your point .  

As stated previously, students tend to put their non-academic work towards the end, usually in their concluding lines. Students tend to do this using a list as they aren’t using up as many characters.  Obviously, even when using a list stating activities that you have done, you must still explain why you have done them, so it shouldn’t appear clustered.  

For instance, you could say “Through doing Duke of Edinburgh, being netball captain and chair of the music committee, I have been able to develop my team working and leadership skills”  

12. Skills you will gain  

You can conclude by stating the skills that this course will enable you to develop. For instance, if you wanted to study Religious Education, you could state that the course will enable you to further your critical analysis of contemporary religious contexts.  

This is an effective technique as you are displaying what you believe the course will enable you to do, in terms of practical skills you will gain.  

13. Hobbies 

  You may want to conclude your personal statement with hobbies and activities you like to do outside of your academic work –  you could talk about how your hobbies indirectly link to the course you want to study, which will ensure you have a clear line of argument.  

For instance, you can write about how you participate with film club and drama society and then how it progresses your interests of the interpretation and varied forms of literature.  

14. What you’re looking forward to  

You can also conclude by stating what you are looking forward to by progressing with further education . For instance, you can talk about how you’re looking forward to learning at university.  

This is important as if you can explain what you are looking forward to when going to university and studying a course, you can palpably express your desire you’re learning.  

15. Don’t repeat yourself  

Repeating what you have stated previously, in your concluding points is ineffective. When writing your personal statement, you want to ensure that everything that you have stated isn’t repeated in any way as you don’t want to repeat any messages.  

For instance, if you have stated your work experience and what it has taught you, don’t continue to bring up this same work experience.  Instead, you can bring up other work experience you have done or would like to do as this would be more effective, especially when concluding.  

16. Don’t be too specific

When writing your personal statement, especially if you have applied for a joint-honours and a single honours degree at different universities – ensure that when you are talking about studying you are not too specific so that it is conveyed that you have wider interests.  

For instance, if you have applied to study politics at some universities and politics and history at other universities – be sure to talk about both politics and history but don’t use separate sections when you are only discussing one topic as it may indicate to a university you don’t want to do their course or are confused.  

As politics and history are heavily linked, you should be able to bring both of them up without separating them too much and revealing that you have applied for two types of degrees. Particularly, when ending you should write about both, whilst not making it apparent that you have applied for different types of degrees.  

17. Make mention of university values

If you haven’t made mention of university values anywhere else in your personal statement, be sure to include this in your concluding points.  You may make mention of independent work, maturity, curiosity etc. which directly links to university.  

This is important as it conveys that you acknowledge and understand university values and you are prepared to work in the university environment. You don’t need to be particularly specific with these values as university values are shared. However, if you are a prospective Oxbridge student you may want to emphasise your commitment to excel academically.  

18. University fitting your life plan

Your personal statement in a sense should convey your educational journey. Obviously, not in such detail, but it should convey how your passions have unravelled. This should continue when making mention of university as you should convey how it will fit in with what you want to do.  

If you have done you A-Levels, the usual pathway is taking a degree; however, in your personal statement, you can make this more specific to your life experience and how university fits in with what you want to achieve in life.  This is an effective concluding point as it will mean your educational journey is translated.  

19. Show your yearning for a challenge  

To study at university, you will be faced with difficult and demanding work. Therefore, in your personal statement, you should show that you are ready, prepared and even excited for this challenge.  

If you want to study a particular course, you can write about how your A-Levels don’t allow you to access the complexities of the course and your interests, which has led you to undertake further reading.  Conveying your yearning for a challenge, especially at the end is effective as it leaves the reader with the impression that you are prepared for your university course.  

20. Don’t copy  

When concluding, it can be difficult so some student, decide to copy or rephrase things that have been said by other student or things that they have found online. Whilst, it is understandable to feel pressure when coming to the end copying others doesn’t work in your favour as it doesn’t provide authenticity.  

Instead, convey through your own personal experience what you want to achieve, as this will allow you to properly represent yourself . 

21. Use evidence  

In your personal statement throughout should be a plethora of evidence as to why the course is suitable for you and why you want to study it . Although, we must make sure that we explain the evidence we have used and to select the evidence meticulously.  

Particularly when concluding evidence is vital as the last message you leave is what you have done and through that your passion is expressed. For instance, you can say through volunteering at an animal shelter you know you want to pursue veterinary science.  

22. Relate to the topic 

Ensure that when you are writing your personal statement, everything you write links back to the topic you are talking about . This is especially relevant in the ending, as some students forget to ensure that everything links together and relates to what they are trying to convey.  

For instance, if you are discussing your passion for engineering and structures it must be clear throughout your essay as it will mean you have a coherent essay.  

Students struggle with rambling throughout their personal statements as it is often an essay that students struggle with. However, particularly towards the end students ramble as they don’t know how to end.  To ensure that the ending of your personal statement is effective and to prevent rambling ensure that your essay is progressive and that it conveys your educational journey.  

23. Why are you motivated?  

In the end you want to ensure that it is clear why you are motivated to study the course you want to do. To ensure that this is apparent when writing your personal statement,  you should ask yourself why it is that you are motivated to study the course you want to do as this will allow you to express yourself convincingly .  

24. Take a break 

If you have written everything in your personal statement apart from your conclusion, you should take a break as usually when looking back at the essay after a while, you will be able to detect mistakes that you have made.  

You can reflect on everything you have written thus far, which will then prepare you to write your final points in your personal statement.  

25. Don’t be afraid to ask for help

Writing a personal statement is daunting as it can have a huge impact on your university prospects, making it a nerve-wracking essay to write.  If you feel like you are struggling to write your final lines, asking someone to read over it will be helpful as they will be able to identify things you have missed or not explained in enough detail etc.  

Personal statements certainly take a while to get right, so be sure to ask for people to read it and give you feedback as it will direct you in completing the best possible version of your personal statement.  

You may find this Think Student article , helpful when writing a personal statement.

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Writing the Personal Statement

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The personal statement, your opportunity to sell yourself in the application process, generally falls into one of two categories:

1. The general, comprehensive personal statement:

This allows you maximum freedom in terms of what you write and is the type of statement often prepared for standard medical or law school application forms.

2. The response to very specific questions:

Often, business and graduate school applications ask specific questions, and your statement should respond specifically to the question being asked. Some business school applications favor multiple essays, typically asking for responses to three or more questions.

Questions to ask yourself before you write:

• What's special, unique, distinctive, and/or impressive about you or your life story?
• What details of your life (personal or family problems, history, people or events that have shaped you or influenced your goals) might help the committee better understand you or help set you apart from other applicants?
• When did you become interested in this field and what have you learned about it (and about yourself) that has further stimulated your interest and reinforced your conviction that you are well suited to this field? What insights have you gained?
• How have you learned about this field—through classes, readings, seminars, work or other experiences, or conversations with people already in the field?
• If you have worked a lot during your college years, what have you learned (leadership or managerial skills, for example), and how has that work contributed to your growth?
• What are your career goals?
• Are there any gaps or discrepancies in your academic record that you should explain (great grades but mediocre LSAT or GRE scores, for example, or a distinct upward pattern to your GPA if it was only average in the beginning)?
• Have you had to overcome any unusual obstacles or hardships (for example, economic, familial, or physical) in your life?
• What personal characteristics (for example, integrity, compassion, and/or persistence) do you possess that would improve your prospects for success in the field or profession? Is there a way to demonstrate or document that you have these characteristics?
• What skills (for example, leadership, communicative, analytical) do you possess?
• Why might you be a stronger candidate for graduate school—and more successful and effective in the profession or field than other applicants?
• What are the most compelling reasons you can give for the admissions committee to be interested in you?

General advice

Answer the questions that are asked

• If you are applying to several schools, you may find questions in each application that are somewhat similar.
• Don't be tempted to use the same statement for all applications. It is important to answer each question being asked, and if slightly different answers are needed, you should write separate statements. In every case, be sure your answer fits the question being asked.

Tell a story

• Think in terms of showing or demonstrating through concrete experience. One of the worst things you can do is to bore the admissions committee. If your statement is fresh, lively, and different, you'll be putting yourself ahead of the pack. If you distinguish yourself through your story, you will make yourself memorable.

Be specific

• Don't, for example, state that you would make an excellent doctor unless you can back it up with specific reasons. Your desire to become a lawyer, engineer, or whatever should be logical, the result of specific experience that is described in your statement. Your application should emerge as the logical conclusion to your story.

Find an angle

• If you're like most people, your life story lacks drama, so figuring out a way to make it interesting becomes the big challenge. Finding an angle or a "hook" is vital.

Concentrate on your opening paragraph

• The lead or opening paragraph is generally the most important. It is here that you grab the reader's attention or lose it. This paragraph becomes the framework for the rest of the statement.

Tell what you know

• The middle section of your essay might detail your interest and experience in your particular field, as well as some of your knowledge of the field. Too many people graduate with little or no knowledge of the nuts and bolts of the profession or field they hope to enter. Be as specific as you can in relating what you know about the field and use the language professionals use in conveying this information. Refer to experiences (work, research, etc.), classes, conversations with people in the field, books you've read, seminars you've attended, or any other source of specific information about the career you want and why you're suited to it. Since you will have to select what you include in your statement, the choices you make are often an indication of your judgment.

Don't include some subjects

• There are certain things best left out of personal statements. For example, references to experiences or accomplishments in high school or earlier are generally not a good idea. Don't mention potentially controversial subjects (for example, controversial religious or political issues).

Do some research, if needed

• If a school wants to know why you're applying to it rather than another school, do some research to find out what sets your choice apart from other universities or programs. If the school setting would provide an important geographical or cultural change for you, this might be a factor to mention.

Write well and correctly

• Be meticulous. Type and proofread your essay very carefully. Many admissions officers say that good written skills and command of correct use of language are important to them as they read these statements. Express yourself clearly and concisely. Adhere to stated word limits.

Avoid clichés

• A medical school applicant who writes that he is good at science and wants to help other people is not exactly expressing an original thought. Stay away from often-repeated or tired statements.

For more information on writing a personal statement, see the personal statement vidcast .

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10 Personal Statement Essay Examples That Worked

What’s covered:, what is a personal statement.

• Essay 1: Summer Program
• Essay 2: Being Bangladeshi-American
• Essay 3: Why Medicine
• Essay 4: Love of Writing
• Essay 5: Starting a Fire
• Essay 6: Dedicating a Track
• Essay 7: Body Image and Eating Disorders
• Essay 8: Becoming a Coach
• Essay 9: Eritrea
• Essay 10: Journaling
• Is Your Personal Statement Strong Enough?

Your personal statement is any essay that you must write for your main application, such as the Common App Essay , University of California Essays , or Coalition Application Essay . This type of essay focuses on your unique experiences, ideas, or beliefs that may not be discussed throughout the rest of your application. This essay should be an opportunity for the admissions officers to get to know you better and give them a glimpse into who you really are.

In this post, we will share 10 different personal statements that were all written by real students. We will also provide commentary on what each essay did well and where there is room for improvement, so you can make your personal statement as strong as possible!

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Personal Statement Examples

Essay example #1: exchange program.

The twisting roads, ornate mosaics, and fragrant scent of freshly ground spices had been so foreign at first. Now in my fifth week of the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco, I felt more comfortable in the city. With a bag full of pastries from the market, I navigated to a bus stop, paid the fare, and began the trip back to my host family’s house. It was hard to believe that only a few years earlier my mom was worried about letting me travel around my home city on my own, let alone a place that I had only lived in for a few weeks. While I had been on a journey towards self-sufficiency and independence for a few years now, it was Morocco that pushed me to become the confident, self-reflective person that I am today.

As a child, my parents pressured me to achieve perfect grades, master my swim strokes, and discover interesting hobbies like playing the oboe and learning to pick locks. I felt compelled to live my life according to their wishes. Of course, this pressure was not a wholly negative factor in my life –– you might even call it support. However, the constant presence of my parents’ hopes for me overcame my own sense of desire and led me to become quite dependent on them. I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school. Despite all these achievements, I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success. I had always been expected to succeed on the path they had defined. However, this path was interrupted seven years after my parents’ divorce when my dad moved across the country to Oregon.

I missed my dad’s close presence, but I loved my new sense of freedom. My parents’ separation allowed me the space to explore my own strengths and interests as each of them became individually busier. As early as middle school, I was riding the light rail train by myself, reading maps to get myself home, and applying to special academic programs without urging from my parents. Even as I took more initiatives on my own, my parents both continued to see me as somewhat immature. All of that changed three years ago, when I applied and was accepted to the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco. I would be studying Arabic and learning my way around the city of Marrakesh. Although I think my parents were a little surprised when I told them my news, the addition of a fully-funded scholarship convinced them to let me go.

I lived with a host family in Marrakesh and learned that they, too, had high expectations for me. I didn’t know a word of Arabic, and although my host parents and one brother spoke good English, they knew I was there to learn. If I messed up, they patiently corrected me but refused to let me fall into the easy pattern of speaking English just as I did at home. Just as I had when I was younger, I felt pressured and stressed about meeting their expectations. However, one day, as I strolled through the bustling market square after successfully bargaining with one of the street vendors, I realized my mistake. My host family wasn’t being unfair by making me fumble through Arabic. I had applied for this trip, and I had committed to the intensive language study. My host family’s rules about speaking Arabic at home had not been to fulfill their expectations for me, but to help me fulfill my expectations for myself. Similarly, the pressure my parents had put on me as a child had come out of love and their hopes for me, not out of a desire to crush my individuality.

As my bus drove through the still-bustling market square and past the medieval Ben-Youssef madrasa, I realized that becoming independent was a process, not an event. I thought that my parents’ separation when I was ten had been the one experience that would transform me into a self-motivated and autonomous person. It did, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t still have room to grow. Now, although I am even more self-sufficient than I was three years ago, I try to approach every experience with the expectation that it will change me. It’s still difficult, but I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important.

What the Essay Did Well

This is a nice essay because it delves into particular character trait of the student and how it has been shaped and matured over time. Although it doesn’t focus the essay around a specific anecdote, the essay is still successful because it is centered around this student’s independence. This is a nice approach for a personal statement: highlight a particular trait of yours and explore how it has grown with you.

The ideas in this essay are universal to growing up—living up to parents’ expectations, yearning for freedom, and coming to terms with reality—but it feels unique to the student because of the inclusion of details specific to them. Including their oboe lessons, the experience of riding the light rail by themselves, and the negotiations with a street vendor helps show the reader what these common tropes of growing up looked like for them personally. 

Another strength of the essay is the level of self-reflection included throughout the piece. Since there is no central anecdote tying everything together, an essay about a character trait is only successful when you deeply reflect on how you felt, where you made mistakes, and how that trait impacts your life. The author includes reflection in sentences like “ I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success, ” and “ I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important. ” These sentences help us see how the student was impacted and what their point of view is.

What Could Be Improved

The largest change this essay would benefit from is to show not tell. The platitude you have heard a million times no doubt, but for good reason. This essay heavily relies on telling the reader what occurred, making us less engaged as the entire reading experience feels more passive. If the student had shown us what happens though, it keeps the reader tied to the action and makes them feel like they are there with the student, making it much more enjoyable to read. 

For example, they tell us about the pressure to succeed their parents placed on them: “ I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school.”  They could have shown us what that pressure looked like with a sentence like this: “ My stomach turned somersaults as my rattling knee thumped against the desk before every test, scared to get anything less than a 95. For five years the painful squawk of the oboe only reminded me of my parents’ claps and whistles at my concerts. I mastered the butterfly, backstroke, and freestyle, fighting against the anchor of their expectations threatening to pull me down.”

If the student had gone through their essay and applied this exercise of bringing more detail and colorful language to sentences that tell the reader what happened, the essay would be really great. 

Table of Contents

Essay Example #2: Being Bangladeshi-American

Life before was good: verdant forests, sumptuous curries, and a devoted family.

Then, my family abandoned our comfortable life in Bangladesh for a chance at the American dream in Los Angeles. Within our first year, my father was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. He lost his battle three weeks before my sixth birthday. Facing a new country without the steady presence of my father, we were vulnerable — prisoners of hardship in the land of the free. We resettled in the Bronx, in my uncle’s renovated basement. It was meant to be our refuge, but I felt more displaced than ever. Gone were the high-rise condos of West L.A.; instead, government projects towered over the neighborhood. Pedestrians no longer smiled and greeted me; the atmosphere was hostile, even toxic. Schoolkids were quick to pick on those they saw as weak or foreign, hurling harsh words I’d never heard before.

Meanwhile, my family began integrating into the local Bangladeshi community. I struggled to understand those who shared my heritage. Bangladeshi mothers stayed home while fathers drove cabs and sold fruit by the roadside — painful societal positions. Riding on crosstown buses or walking home from school, I began to internalize these disparities. During my fleeting encounters with affluent Upper East Siders, I saw kids my age with nannies, parents who wore suits to work, and luxurious apartments with spectacular views. Most took cabs to their destinations: cabs that Bangladeshis drove. I watched the mundane moments of their lives with longing, aching to plant myself in their shoes. Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

As I grappled with my relationship with the Bangladeshi community, I turned my attention to helping my Bronx community by pursuing an internship with Assemblyman Luis Sepulveda. I handled desk work and took calls, spending the bulk of my time actively listening to the hardships constituents faced — everything from a veteran stripped of his benefits to a grandmother unable to support her bedridden grandchild.

I’d never exposed myself to stories like these, and now I was the first to hear them. As an intern, I could only assist in what felt like the small ways — pointing out local job offerings, printing information on free ESL classes, reaching out to non-profits. But to a community facing an onslaught of intense struggles, I realized that something as small as these actions could have vast impacts. Seeing the immediate consequences of my actions inspired me. Throughout that summer, I internalized my community’s daily challenges in a new light. I began to stop seeing the prevalent underemployment and cramped living quarters less as sources of shame. Instead, I saw them as realities that had to be acknowledged, but could ultimately be remedied. I also realized the benefits of the Bangladeshi culture I had been so ashamed of. My Bangla language skills were an asset to the office, and my understanding of Bangladeshi etiquette allowed for smooth communication between office staff and its constituents. As I helped my neighbors navigate city services, I saw my heritage with pride — a perspective I never expected to have.

I can now appreciate the value of my unique culture and background, and of living with less. This perspective offers room for progress, community integration, and a future worth fighting for. My time with Assemblyman Sepulveda’s office taught me that I can be a change agent in enabling this progression. Far from being ashamed of my community, I want to someday return to local politics in the Bronx to continue helping others access the American Dream. I hope to help my community appreciate the opportunity to make progress together. By embracing reality, I learned to live it. Along the way, I discovered one thing: life is good, but we can make it better.

This student’s passion for social justice and civic duty shines through in this essay because of how honest it is. Sharing their personal experience with immigrating, moving around, being an outsider, and finding a community allows us to see the hardships this student has faced and builds empathy towards their situation. However, what really makes it strong is that they go beyond describing the difficulties they faced and explain the mental impact it had on them as a child: Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

The rejection of their culture presented at the beginning of the essay creates a nice juxtaposition with the student’s view in the latter half of the essay and helps demonstrate how they have matured. They use their experience interning as a way to delve into a change in their thought process about their culture and show how their passion for social justice began. Using this experience as a mechanism to explore their thoughts and feelings is an excellent example of how items that are included elsewhere on your application should be incorporated into your essay.

This essay prioritizes emotions and personal views over specific anecdotes. Although there are details and certain moments incorporated throughout to emphasize the author’s points, the main focus remains on the student and how they grapple with their culture and identity.  

One area for improvement is the conclusion. Although the forward-looking approach is a nice way to end an essay focused on social justice, it would be nice to include more details and imagery in the conclusion. How does the student want to help their community? What government position do they see themselves holding one day? 

A more impactful ending might look like the student walking into their office at the New York City Housing Authority in 15 years and looking at the plans to build a new development in the Bronx just blocks away from where the grew up that would provide quality housing to people in their Bangladeshi community. They would smile while thinking about how far they have come from that young kid who used to be ashamed of their culture. 

Essay Example #3: Why Medicine

I took my first trip to China to visit my cousin Anna in July of 2014. Distance had kept us apart, but when we were together, we fell into all of our old inside jokes and caught up on each other’s lives. Her sparkling personality and optimistic attitude always brought a smile to my face. This time, however, my heart broke when I saw the effects of her brain cancer; she had suffered from a stroke that paralyzed her left side. She was still herself in many ways, but I could see that the damage to her brain made things difficult for her. I stayed by her every day, providing the support she needed, whether assisting her with eating and drinking, reading to her, or just watching “Friends.” During my flight back home, sorrow and helplessness overwhelmed me. Would I ever see Anna again? Could I have done more to make Anna comfortable? I wished I could stay in China longer to care for her. As I deplaned, I wondered if I could transform my grief to help other children and teenagers in the US who suffered as Anna did.

The day after I got home, as jet lag dragged me awake a few minutes after midnight, I remembered hearing about the Family Reach Foundation (FRF) and its work with children going through treatments at the local hospital and their families. I began volunteering in the FRF’s Children’s Activity Room, where I play with children battling cancer. Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up. When they take on the roles of firefighters or fairies, we all get caught up in the game; for that time, they forget the sanitized, stark, impersonal walls of the pediatric oncology ward. Building close relationships with them and seeing them giggle and laugh is so rewarding — I love watching them grow and get better throughout their course of treatment.

Hearing from the parents about their children’s condition and seeing the children recover inspired me to consider medical research. To get started, I enrolled in a summer collegelevel course in Abnormal Psychology. There I worked with Catelyn, a rising college senior, on a data analysis project regarding Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Together, we examined the neurological etiology of DID by studying four fMRI and PET cases. I fell in love with gathering data and analyzing the results and was amazed by our final product: several stunning brain images showcasing the areas of hyper and hypoactivity in brains affected by DID. Desire quickly followed my amazement — I want to continue this project and study more brains. Their complexity, delicacy, and importance to every aspect of life fascinate me. Successfully completing this research project gave me a sense of hope; I know I am capable of participating in a large scale research project and potentially making a difference in someone else’s life through my research.

Anna’s diagnosis inspired me to begin volunteering at FRF; from there, I discovered my desire to help people further by contributing to medical research. As my research interest blossomed, I realized that it’s no coincidence that I want to study brains—after all, Anna suffered from brain cancer. Reflecting on these experiences this past year and a half, I see that everything I’ve done is connected. Sadly, a few months after I returned from China, Anna passed away. I am still sad, but as I run a toy truck across the floor and watch one of the little patients’ eyes light up, I imagine that she would be proud of my commitment to pursue medicine and study the brain.

This essay has a very strong emotional core that tugs at the heart strings and makes the reader feel invested. Writing about sickness can be difficult and doesn’t always belong in a personal statement, but in this case it works well because the focus is on how this student cared for her cousin and dealt with the grief and emotions surrounding her condition. Writing about the compassion she showed and the doubts and concerns that filled her mind keeps the focus on the author and her personality. 

This continues when she again discusses the activities she did with the kids at FRF and the personal reflection this experience allowed her to have. For example, she writes: Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up.

Concluding the essay with the sad story of her cousin’s passing brings the essay full circle and returns to the emotional heart of the piece to once again build a connection with the reader. However, it finishes on a hopeful note and demonstrates how this student has been able to turn a tragic experience into a source of lifelong inspiration. 

One thing this essay should be cognizant of is that personal statements should not read as summaries of your extracurricular resume. Although this essay doesn’t fully fall into that trap, it does describe two key extracurriculars the student participated in. However, the inclusion of such a strong emotional core running throughout the essay helps keep the focus on the student and her thoughts and feelings during these activities.

To avoid making this mistake, make sure you have a common thread running through your essay and the extracurriculars provide support to the story you are trying to tell, rather than crafting a story around your activities. And, as this essay does, make sure there is lots of personal reflection and feelings weaved throughout to focus attention to you rather than your extracurriculars. 

Essay Example #4: Love of Writing

“I want to be a writer.” This had been my answer to every youthful discussion with the adults in my life about what I would do when I grew up. As early as elementary school, I remember reading my writing pieces aloud to an audience at “Author of the Month” ceremonies. Bearing this goal in mind, and hoping to gain some valuable experience, I signed up for a journalism class during my freshman year. Despite my love for writing, I initially found myself uninterested in the subject and I struggled to enjoy the class. When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines. Journalism required a laconic style and orderly structure, and I found my teacher’s assignments formulaic and dull. That class shook my confidence as a writer. I was uncertain if I should continue in it for the rest of my high school career.

Despite my misgivings, I decided that I couldn’t make a final decision on whether to quit journalism until I had some experience working for a paper outside of the classroom. The following year, I applied to be a staff reporter on our school newspaper. I hoped this would help me become more self-driven and creative, rather than merely writing articles that my teacher assigned. To my surprise, my time on staff was worlds away from what I experienced in the journalism class. Although I was unaccustomed to working in a fast-paced environment and initially found it burdensome to research and complete high-quality stories in a relatively short amount of time, I also found it exciting. I enjoyed learning more about topics and events on campus that I did not know much about; some of my stories that I covered in my first semester concerned a chess tournament, a food drive, and a Spanish immersion party. I relished in the freedom I had to explore and learn, and to write more independently than I could in a classroom.

Although I enjoyed many aspects of working for the paper immediately, reporting also pushed me outside of my comfort zone. I am a shy person, and speaking with people I did not know intimidated me. During my first interview, I met with the basketball coach to prepare for a story about the team’s winning streak. As I approached his office, I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block, and I could hardly get out my opening questions. Fortunately, the coach was very kind and helped me through the conversation. Encouraged, I prepared for my next interview with more confidence. After a few weeks of practice, I even started to look forward to interviewing people on campus. That first journalism class may have bored me, but even if journalism in practice was challenging, it was anything but tedious.

Over the course of that year, I grew to love writing for our school newspaper. Reporting made me aware of my surroundings, and made me want to know more about current events on campus and in the town where I grew up. By interacting with people all over campus, I came to understand the breadth of individuals and communities that make up my high school. I felt far more connected to diverse parts of my school through my work as a journalist, and I realized that journalism gave me a window into seeing beyond my own experiences. The style of news writing may be different from what I used to think “writing” meant, but I learned that I can still derive exciting plots from events that may have gone unnoticed if not for my stories. I no longer struggle to approach others, and truly enjoy getting to know people and recognizing their accomplishments through my writing. Becoming a writer may be a difficult path, but it is as rewarding as I hoped when I was young.

This essay is clearly structured in a manner that makes it flow very nicely and contributes to its success. It starts with a quote to draw in the reader and show this student’s life-long passion for writing. Then it addresses the challenges of facing new, unfamiliar territory and how this student overcame it. Finally, it concludes by reflecting on this eye-opening experience and a nod to their younger self from the introduction. Having a well-thought out and sequential structure with clear transitions makes it extremely easy for the reader to follow along and take away the main idea.

Another positive aspect of the essay is the use of strong and expressive language. Sentences like “ When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines ” stand out because of the intentional use of words like “lyrical”, “profound”, and “thrilling” to convey the student’s love of writing. The author also uses an active voice to capture the readers’ attention and keep us engaged. They rely on their language and diction to reveal details to the reader, for instance saying “ I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block ” to describe feeling nervous.

This essay is already very strong, so there isn’t much that needs to be changed. One thing that could take the essay from great to outstanding would be to throw in more quotes, internal dialogue, and sensory descriptors.

It would be nice to see the nerves they felt interviewing the coach by including dialogue like “ Um…I want to interview you about…uh…”.  They could have shown their original distaste for journalism by narrating the thoughts running through their head. The fast-paced environment of their newspaper could have come to life with descriptions about the clacking of keyboards and the whirl of people running around laying out articles.

Essay Example #5: Starting a Fire

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

This student is an excellent writer, which allows a simple story to be outstandingly compelling. The author articulates her points beautifully and creatively through her immense use of details and figurative language. Lines like “a rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees,” and “rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers,” create vivid images that draw the reader in. 

The flowery and descriptive prose also contributes to the nice juxtaposition between the old Clara and the new Clara. The latter half of the essay contrasts elements of nature with music and writing to demonstrate how natural these interests are for her now. This sentence perfectly encapsulates the contrast she is trying to build: “It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive.”

In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction “Fire!” and ends with the following image: “When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.” This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.

There is very little this essay should change, however one thing to be cautious about is having an essay that is overly-descriptive. We know from the essay that this student likes to read and write, and depending on other elements of her application, it might make total sense to have such a flowery and ornate writing style. However, your personal statement needs to reflect your voice as well as your personality. If you would never use language like this in conversation or your writing, don’t put it in your personal statement. Make sure there is a balance between eloquence and your personal voice.

Essay Example #6: Dedicating a Track

“Getting beat is one thing – it’s part of competing – but I want no part in losing.” Coach Rob Stark’s motto never fails to remind me of his encouragement on early-morning bus rides to track meets around the state. I’ve always appreciated the phrase, but an experience last June helped me understand its more profound, universal meaning.

Stark, as we affectionately call him, has coached track at my high school for 25 years. His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running. When I learned a neighboring high school had dedicated their track to a longtime coach, I felt that Stark deserved similar honors.

Our school district’s board of education indicated they would only dedicate our track to Stark if I could demonstrate that he was extraordinary. I took charge and mobilized my teammates to distribute petitions, reach out to alumni, and compile statistics on the many team and individual champions Stark had coached over the years. We received astounding support, collecting almost 3,000 signatures and pages of endorsements from across the community. With help from my teammates, I presented this evidence to the board.

They didn’t bite. 

Most members argued that dedicating the track was a low priority. Knowing that we had to act quickly to convince them of its importance, I called a team meeting where we drafted a rebuttal for the next board meeting. To my surprise, they chose me to deliver it. I was far from the best public speaker in the group, and I felt nervous about going before the unsympathetic board again. However, at that second meeting, I discovered that I enjoy articulating and arguing for something that I’m passionate about.

Public speaking resembles a cross country race. Walking to the starting line, you have to trust your training and quell your last minute doubts. When the gun fires, you can’t think too hard about anything; your performance has to be instinctual, natural, even relaxed. At the next board meeting, the podium was my starting line. As I walked up to it, familiar butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Instead of the track stretching out in front of me, I faced the vast audience of teachers, board members, and my teammates. I felt my adrenaline build, and reassured myself: I’ve put in the work, my argument is powerful and sound. As the board president told me to introduce myself, I heard, “runners set” in the back of my mind. She finished speaking, and Bang! The brief silence was the gunshot for me to begin. 

The next few minutes blurred together, but when the dust settled, I knew from the board members’ expressions and the audience’s thunderous approval that I had run quite a race. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough; the board voted down our proposal. I was disappointed, but proud of myself, my team, and our collaboration off the track. We stood up for a cause we believed in, and I overcame my worries about being a leader. Although I discovered that changing the status quo through an elected body can be a painstakingly difficult process and requires perseverance, I learned that I enjoy the challenges this effort offers. Last month, one of the school board members joked that I had become a “regular” – I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Just as Stark taught me, I worked passionately to achieve my goal. I may have been beaten when I appealed to the board, but I certainly didn’t lose, and that would have made Stark proud.

This essay effectively conveys this student’s compassion for others, initiative, and determination—all great qualities to exemplify in a personal statement!

Although they rely on telling us a lot of what happened up until the board meeting, the use of running a race (their passion) as a metaphor for public speaking provides a lot of insight into the fear that this student overcame to work towards something bigger than themself. Comparing a podium to the starting line, the audience to the track, and silence to the gunshot is a nice way of demonstrating this student’s passion for cross country running without making that the focus of the story.

The essay does a nice job of coming full circle at the end by explaining what the quote from the beginning meant to them after this experience. Without explicitly saying “ I now know that what Stark actually meant is…” they rely on the strength of their argument above to make it obvious to the reader what it means to get beat but not lose. 

One of the biggest areas of improvement in the intro, however, is how the essay tells us Stark’s impact rather than showing us: His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

The writer could’ve helped us feel a stronger emotional connection to Stark if they had included examples of Stark’s qualities, rather than explicitly stating them. For example, they could’ve written something like: Stark was the kind of person who would give you gas money if you told him your parents couldn’t afford to pick you up from practice. And he actually did that—several times. At track meets, alumni regularly would come talk to him and tell him how he’d changed their lives. Before Stark, I was ambivalent about running and was on the JV team, but his encouragement motivated me to run longer and harder and eventually make varsity. Because of him, I approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

Essay Example #7: Body Image and Eating Disorders

I press the “discover” button on my Instagram app, hoping to find enticing pictures to satisfy my boredom. Scrolling through, I see funny videos and mouth-watering pictures of food. However, one image stops me immediately. A fit teenage girl with a “perfect body” relaxes in a bikini on a beach. Beneath it, I see a slew of flattering comments. I shake with disapproval over the image’s unrealistic quality. However, part of me still wants to have a body like hers so that others will make similar comments to me.

I would like to resolve a silent issue that harms many teenagers and adults: negative self image and low self-esteem in a world where social media shapes how people view each other. When people see the façades others wear to create an “ideal” image, they can develop poor thought patterns rooted in negative self-talk. The constant comparisons to “perfect” others make people feel small. In this new digital age, it is hard to distinguish authentic from artificial representations.

When I was 11, I developed anorexia nervosa. Though I was already thin, I wanted to be skinny like the models that I saw on the magazine covers on the grocery store stands. Little did I know that those models probably also suffered from disorders, and that photoshop erased their flaws. I preferred being underweight to being healthy. No matter how little I ate or how thin I was, I always thought that I was too fat. I became obsessed with the number on the scale and would try to eat the least that I could without my parents urging me to take more. Fortunately, I stopped engaging in anorexic behaviors before middle school. However, my underlying mental habits did not change. The images that had provoked my disorder in the first place were still a constant presence in my life.

By age 15, I was in recovery from anorexia, but suffered from depression. While I used to only compare myself to models, the growth of social media meant I also compared myself to my friends and acquaintances. I felt left out when I saw my friends’ excitement about lake trips they had taken without me. As I scrolled past endless photos of my flawless, thin classmates with hundreds of likes and affirming comments, I felt my jealousy spiral. I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.” When that didn’t work, I started to feel too anxious to post anything at all.  

Body image insecurities and social media comparisons affect thousands of people – men, women, children, and adults – every day. I am lucky – after a few months of my destructive social media habits, I came across a video that pointed out the illusory nature of social media; many Instagram posts only show off good things while people hide their flaws. I began going to therapy, and recovered from my depression. To address the problem of self-image and social media, we can all focus on what matters on the inside and not what is on the surface. As an effort to become healthy internally, I started a club at my school to promote clean eating and radiating beauty from within. It has helped me grow in my confidence, and today I’m not afraid to show others my struggles by sharing my experience with eating disorders. Someday, I hope to make this club a national organization to help teenagers and adults across the country. I support the idea of body positivity and embracing difference, not “perfection.” After all, how can we be ourselves if we all look the same?

This essay covers the difficult topics of eating disorders and mental health. If you’re thinking about covering similar topics in your essay, we recommend reading our post Should You Talk About Mental Health in College Essays?

The short answer is that, yes, you can talk about mental health, but it can be risky. If you do go that route, it’s important to focus on what you learned from the experience.

The strength of this essay is the student’s vulnerability, in excerpts such as this: I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.”

The student goes on to share how they recovered from their depression through an eye-opening video and therapy sessions, and they’re now helping others find their self-worth as well. It’s great that this essay looks towards the future and shares the writer’s goals of making their club a national organization; we can see their ambition and compassion.

The main weakness of this essay is that it doesn’t focus enough on their recovery process, which is arguably the most important part. They could’ve told us more about the video they watched or the process of starting their club and the interactions they’ve had with other members. Especially when sharing such a vulnerable topic, there should be vulnerability in the recovery process too. That way, the reader can fully appreciate all that this student has overcome.

Essay Example #8: Becoming a Coach

”Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay begins with an in-the-moment narrative that really illustrates the chaos of looking for a coach last-minute. We feel the writer’s emotions, particularly her dejectedness, at not being able to compete. Starting an essay in media res  is a great way to capture the attention of your readers and build anticipation for what comes next.

Through this essay, we can see how gutsy and determined the student is in deciding to become a coach themselves. She shows us these characteristics through their actions, rather than explicitly telling us: To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side.  Also, by discussing the opposition she faced and how it affected her, the student is open and vulnerable about the reality of the situation.

The essay comes full circle as the author recalls the frantic situations in seeking out a coach, but this is no longer a concern for them and their team. Overall, this essay is extremely effective in painting this student as mature, bold, and compassionate.

The biggest thing this essay needs to work on is showing not telling. Throughout the essay, the student tells us that she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence,” she “grew unsure of her own abilities,” and she “refused to give up”. What we really want to know is what this looks like.

Instead of saying she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence” she should have shared how she taught a new move to a fellow team-member without hesitation. Rather than telling us she “grew unsure of her own abilities” she should have shown what that looked like by including her internal dialogue and rhetorical questions that ran through her mind. She could have demonstrated what “refusing to give up” looks like by explaining how she kept learning coaching techniques on her own, turned to a mentor for advice, or devised a plan to win over the trust of parents. 

Essay Example #9: Eritrea

No one knows where Eritrea is.

On the first day of school, for the past nine years, I would pensively stand in front of a class, a teacher, a stranger  waiting for the inevitable question: Where are you from?

I smile politely, my dimples accentuating my ambiguous features. “Eritrea,” I answer promptly and proudly. But I  am always prepared. Before their expression can deepen into confusion, ready to ask “where is that,” I elaborate,  perhaps with a fleeting hint of exasperation, “East Africa, near Ethiopia.”

Sometimes, I single out the key-shaped hermit nation on a map, stunning teachers who have “never had a student  from there!” Grinning, I resist the urge to remark, “You didn’t even know it existed until two minutes ago!”

Eritrea is to the East of Ethiopia, its arid coastline clutches the lucrative Red Sea. Battle scars litter the ancient  streets – the colonial Italian architecture lathered with bullet holes, the mosques mangled with mortar shells.  Originally part of the world’s first Christian kingdom, Eritrea passed through the hands of colonial Italy, Britain, and  Ethiopia for over a century, until a bloody thirty year war of Independence liberated us.

But these are facts that anyone can know with a quick Google search. These are facts that I have memorised and compounded, first from my Grandmother and now from pristine books  borrowed from the library.

No historical narrative, however, can adequately capture what Eritrea is.  No one knows the aroma of bushels of potatoes, tomatoes, and garlic – still covered in dirt – that leads you to the open-air market. No one knows the poignant scent of spices, arranged in orange piles reminiscent of compacted  dunes.  No one knows how to haggle stubborn herders for sheep and roosters for Christmas celebrations as deliberately as my mother. No one can replicate the perfect balance of spices in dorho and tsebhi as well as my grandmother,  her gnarly hands stirring the pot with ancient precision (chastising my clumsy knife work with the potatoes).  It’s impossible to learn when the injera is ready – the exact moment you have to lift the lid of the mogogo. Do it too  early (or too late) and the flatbread becomes mangled and gross. It is a sixth sense passed through matriarchal  lineages.

There are no sources that catalogue the scent of incense that wafts through the sunlit porch on St. Michael’s; no  films that can capture the luminescence of hundreds of flaming bonfires that fluoresce the sidewalks on Kudus  Yohannes, as excited children chant Ge’ez proverbs whose origin has been lost to time.  You cannot learn the familiarity of walking beneath the towering Gothic figure of the Enda Mariam Cathedral, the  crowds undulating to the ringing of the archaic bells.  I have memorized the sound of the rains hounding the metal roof during kiremti , the heat of the sun pounding  against the Toyota’s window as we sped down towards Ghinda , the opulent brilliance of the stars twinkling in a  sky untainted by light pollution, the scent of warm rolls of bani wafting through the streets at precisely 6 o’clock each day…

I fill my flimsy sketchbook with pictures from my memory. My hand remembers the shapes of the hibiscus drifting  in the wind, the outline of my grandmother (affectionately nicknamed a’abaye ) leaning over the garden, the bizarre architecture of the Fiat Tagliero .  I dice the vegetables with movements handed down from generations. My nose remembers the scent of frying garlic, the sourness of the warm tayta , the sharpness of the mit’mt’a …

This knowledge is intrinsic.  “I am Eritrean,” I repeat. “I am proud.”  Within me is an encyclopedia of history, culture, and idealism.

Eritrea is the coffee made from scratch, the spices drying in the sun, the priests and nuns. Eritrea is wise, filled with ambition, and unseen potential.  Eritrea isn’t a place, it’s an identity.

This is an exceptional essay that provides a window into this student’s culture that really makes their love for their country and heritage leap off the page. The sheer level of details and sensory descriptors this student is able to fit in this space makes the essay stand out. From the smells, to the traditions, sounds, and sights, the author encapsulates all the glory of Eritrea for the reader. 

The vivid images this student is able to create for the reader, whether it is having the tedious conversation with every teacher or cooking in their grandmother’s kitchen, transports us into the story and makes us feel like we are there in the moment with the student. This is a prime example of an essay that shows , not tells.

Besides the amazing imagery, the use of shorter paragraphs also contributes to how engaging this essay is. Employing this tactic helps break up the text to make it more readable and it isolates ideas so they stick out more than if they were enveloped in a large paragraph.

Overall, this is a really strong essay that brings to life this student’s heritage through its use of vivid imagery. This essay exemplifies what it means to show not tell in your writing, and it is a great example of how you can write an intimate personal statement without making yourself the primary focus of your essay. 

There is very little this essay should improve upon, but one thing the student might consider would be to inject more personal reflection into their response. Although we can clearly take away their deep love and passion for their homeland and culture, the essay would be a bit more personal if they included the emotions and feelings they associate with the various aspects of Eritrea. For example, the way their heart swells with pride when their grandmother praises their ability to cook a flatbread or the feeling of serenity when they hear the bells ring out from the cathedral. Including personal details as well as sensory ones would create a wonderful balance of imagery and reflection.

Essay Example #10: Journaling

Flipping past dozens of colorful entries in my journal, I arrive at the final blank sheet. I press my pen lightly to the page, barely scratching its surface to create a series of loops stringing together into sentences. Emotions spill out, and with their release, I feel lightness in my chest. The stream of thoughts slows as I reach the bottom of the page, and I gently close the cover of the worn book: another journal finished.

I add the journal to the stack of eleven books on my nightstand. Struck by the bittersweet sensation of closing a chapter of my life, I grab the notebook at the bottom of the pile to reminisce.

“I want to make a flying mushen to fly in space and your in it” – October 2008

Pulling back the cover of my first Tinkerbell-themed diary, the prompt “My Hopes and Dreams” captures my attention. Though “machine” is misspelled in my scribbled response, I see the beginnings of my past obsession with outer space. At the age of five, I tore through novels about the solar system, experimented with rockets built from plastic straws, and rented Space Shuttle films from Blockbuster to satisfy my curiosities. While I chased down answers to questions as limitless as the universe, I fell in love with learning. Eight journals later, the same relentless curiosity brought me to an airplane descending on San Francisco Bay.

“I wish I had infinite sunsets” – July 2019

I reach for the charcoal notepad near the top of the pile and open to the first page: my flight to the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes. While I was excited to explore bioengineering, anxiety twisted in my stomach as I imagined my destination, unsure of whether I could overcome my shyness and connect with others.

With each new conversation, the sweat on my palms became less noticeable, and I met students from 23 different countries. Many of the moments where I challenged myself socially revolved around the third story deck of the Jerry house. A strange medley of English, Arabic, and Mandarin filled the summer air as my friends and I gathered there every evening, and dialogues at sunset soon became moments of bliss. In our conversations about cultural differences, the possibility of an afterlife, and the plausibility of far-fetched conspiracy theories, I learned to voice my opinion. As I was introduced to different viewpoints, these moments challenged my understanding of the world around me. In my final entries from California, I find excitement to learn from others and increased confidence, a tool that would later allow me to impact my community.

“The beauty in a tower of cans” – June 2020

Returning my gaze to the stack of journals, I stretch to take the floral-patterned book sitting on top. I flip through, eventually finding the beginnings of the organization I created during the outbreak of COVID-19. Since then, Door-to-Door Deliveries has woven its way through my entries and into reality, allowing me to aid high-risk populations through free grocery delivery.

With the confidence I gained the summer before, I took action when seeing others in need rather than letting my shyness hold me back. I reached out to local churches and senior centers to spread word of our services and interacted with customers through our website and social media pages. To further expand our impact, we held two food drives, and I mustered the courage to ask for donations door-to-door. In a tower of canned donations, I saw the value of reaching out to help others and realized my own potential to impact the world around me.

I delicately close the journal in my hands, smiling softly as the memories reappear, one after another. Reaching under my bed, I pull out a fresh notebook and open to its first sheet. I lightly press my pen to the page, “And so begins the next chapter…”

The structuring of this essay makes it easy and enjoyable to read. The student effectively organizes their various life experiences around their tower of journals, which centers the reader and makes the different stories easy to follow. Additionally, the student engages quotes from their journals—and unique formatting of the quotes—to signal that they are moving in time and show us which memory we should follow them to.

Thematically, the student uses the idea of shyness to connect the different memories they draw out of their journals. As the student describes their experiences overcoming shyness at the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes and Door-to-Door Deliveries, this essay can be read as an Overcoming Obstacles essay.

At the end of this essay, readers are fully convinced that this student is dedicated (they have committed to journaling every day), thoughtful (journaling is a thoughtful process and, in the essay, the student reflects thoughtfully on the past), and motivated (they flew across the country for a summer program and started a business). These are definitely qualities admissions officers are looking for in applicants!

Although this essay is already exceptionally strong as it’s written, the first journal entry feels out of place compared to the other two entries that discuss the author’s shyness and determination. It works well for the essay to have an entry from when the student was younger to add some humor (with misspelled words) and nostalgia, but if the student had either connected the quote they chose to the idea of overcoming a fear present in the other two anecdotes or if they had picked a different quote all together related to their shyness, it would have made the entire essay feel more cohesive.

Where to Get Your Personal Statement Edited

Do you want feedback on your personal statement? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

Next Step: Supplemental Essays

Essay Guides for Each School

How to Write a Stellar Extracurricular Activity College Essay

4 Tips for Writing a Diversity College Essay

How to Write the “Why This College” Essay

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts

Personal Statement for Job

Ai generator.

As a dedicated and results-oriented professional with over eight years of experience in marketing, I am passionate about creating innovative strategies that drive brand growth and customer engagement. My expertise in digital marketing, content creation, and data analysis has consistently delivered measurable results and elevated brand presence.

I hold a Bachelor’s Degree in Marketing from XYZ University, where I developed a strong foundation in market research, consumer behavior, and strategic planning. My academic achievements, combined with practical internships, have prepared me to excel in dynamic and fast-paced environments.

In my previous role as a Marketing Manager at ABC Company, I successfully led a team in developing and executing comprehensive marketing campaigns. These campaigns increased web traffic by 30% and improved lead generation by 25%. My responsibilities included market analysis, budget management, and cross-functional team collaboration. Additionally, I spearheaded a social media strategy that grew our online following by 40% and enhanced customer engagement.

I am a proactive and creative thinker who thrives in challenging situations. My strong communication and leadership skills enable me to effectively manage projects and motivate teams to achieve their goals. I am adept at leveraging data-driven insights to optimize marketing efforts and ensure a high return on investment.

My long-term career objective is to continue advancing in the marketing field by taking on strategic roles that focus on brand development and digital innovation. I am particularly excited about opportunities that allow me to combine my passion for marketing with cutting-edge technology to create impactful campaigns. Joining your organization would enable me to contribute to your vision of growth and innovation while further honing my skills.

In conclusion, my commitment to excellence, coupled with my extensive marketing experience, makes me a valuable addition to your team. I am eager to bring my strategic thinking and creative problem-solving abilities to your company and contribute to your success.

Thank you for considering my application.

I look forward to discussing how my background and skills align with your needs.

Text prompt

• Instructive
• Professional

10 Examples of Public speaking

20 Examples of Gas lighting

What is an income statement?

• Key components of an income statement 
• Why they matter
• How to read an income statement 

What is an Income Statement?

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• An income statement is a financial document that details the revenue and expenses of a company.
• Some investors and analysts use income statements to make investing decisions.  
• The income statement, along with additional financial documents, is required to be filed with the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC).

An income statement is one of three major financial statements used to evaluate the health of a company, along with the balance sheet and cash flow statement . There are several terms you'll need to understand in order to know how to read an income statement. 

An income statement is a financial statement that outlines a company's gains, losses, revenue, and expenses during a specific period. 

Also called a Profit and Loss (P&L) Statement or a statement of revenue and expense, the income statement is one of three major documents, along with the cash flow statement and the balance sheet , that provide information on a company's financial results during a specified time frame. 

Key components of an income statement  

There are several key components of an income statement, and knowing them can go a long way toward helping you interpret one of these documents effectively. 

Revenue 

Revenue is the amount of money the company brought in during the reporting period. With revenue, it may be important to note any trends to determine whether the company is making more money over time or if sales are slowing down. 

Expenses 

This section, crucial to analyzing an income statement, details how much the company has spent. Similar to revenue, it may be important to note trends to see if the company is spending more or if they're becoming more efficient over time. When looking at expenses, "We should consider whether the expenses grow in proportion to revenue and the drivers of these expenses," says Patrick Badolato, PhD, CPA, an associate professor in the accounting department at the McCombs School of Business at the University of Texas. 

Expenses can include many different line items, for example interest paid on debt, depreciation and amortization, rent and overhead, as well as money paid toward salaries and benefits. 

For the sake of clarity, depreciation is an accounting measure to account for the cost in the loss of value for tangible assets of the company, whereas amortization is an accounting technique to lower the book value of debt over time. 

Expenses also include cost of goods sold (COGS), which is the amount spent on the production of the products or services sold. For a company like Apple, it would include the glass to make the phone screen or the chips that go into the iPhone. 

Other costs that would be counted under expenses would be operating and non-operating expenses. Operating expenses are the cost to bring the product to the market. This could include things like marketing, payroll, and overhead expenses, such as insurance and rent. Non-operating expenses could include things that do not directly relate to core business functions. It may include things like contributions to pension plans or dividends to shareholders. 

Another major consideration is taxes, which of course cuts into any financial results a company generates. 

Net income 

Net income represents the total income left over after all deductions and expenses, including taxes, have been taken out. This is the last line on the income statement, frequently referred to as the bottom line, and it tells you what a company's profit or loss was during a specific time period. 

Why income statements matter

The income statement is important for a wide range of parties, including investors and people responsible for running a company (its executives and managers). 

"The income statement should be used by anyone trying to understand the business conducted as well as the profitability of a company," says Badolato. 

Assesses profitability

One simple way an income statement can come in handy is by providing a sense of just how profitable a company really is. Is the company in question making money? 

Income statements can help answer this question, along with providing some excellent insight into why, exactly, a company is experiencing its current financial performance. 

Informs business decisions 

By reviewing a company's income statement, you can quickly pinpoint areas that have room for improvement. For example, a company could cut costs in one area and put more money into others, such as sales and marketing, that could potentially fuel expansion. 

Attract investors 

Investors may use income statements, along with other financial statements, to make investing decisions and determine the financial health of a company. 

For example, an increasing amount of sales from year to year might be attractive for a potential investor and can be found in the first line of an income statement. Conversely, if costs are rising this can also be seen on the income statement and may lead an investor to ask more questions about the long-term profitability of the company. 

Investors and financial analysts also use the income statement to derive popular financial ratios like Earnings Per Share (EPS) .

Earnings per share is a measure that compares a company's net income compared to the outstanding shares. The price-to-earnings ratio, or P/E ratio , is another commonly used metric that factors in the company's stock price in relation to EPS. When comparing companies, EPS and the P/E ratio can help differentiate two companies in the same category and help an investor make a more sound investing decision, but both use information provided through the income statement. 

"The equation driving the Income Statement is: Revenues – Expenses + Gains – Losses = Net Income," says Badolato. 

Income statements are also important to regulators. All public companies are required to file a Form 10-K each year with the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) and Form 10-Q each quarter which include the income statement and other financial documents and disclosures. 

Income statement analysis

When analyzing income statements, there are two primary methods that are used: vertical analysis and horizontal analysis.

Vertical analysis shows each item on a financial statement as a percentage. An example of this would be the COGS expressed as 35% of the total revenue. This type of analysis can be useful when comparing with other companies in the industry. 

Horizontal analysis is used to review a company's performance over two or more periods by stacking each line item directly next to each other from the previous period. Instead of looking at one income statement at a time from different periods, horizontal analysis compares them side-by-side in one view. 

How to read an income statement 

Below is the 2021 quarterly income statement from Ford's Form 10-Q . One of the first things that you will notice is that the report is using horizontal analysis. This is because the report is comparing the second quarter of 2020 to the second quarter of 2021 as well as the first half of 2020 and the first half of 2021. 

In the first section under Revenues, you'll see each of Ford's major revenue streams, including car sales under Automotive, Ford Credit, and Mobility. In the notes section of the 10-Q, the Mobility line refers to Ford's autonomous vehicles and related business as well as its equity stake in Argo AI.

Next in the cost and expenses section, you'll notice where Ford is spending its cash. The bulk of those expenses fall under cost of sales, which is another name for the cost of goods sold. You can also see that costs have increased from the second quarter of 2020 to the second quarter of 2021 resulting in a net income of $561 million during the second quarter and $3.8B during the first half of 2021 in the final column on the right. 

Income statement vs. balance sheet 

Both income statements and balance sheets provide important details about how a company uses its cash and other assets, but there are a few key differences between the two.

Think of an income statement like a financial timeline, whereas a balance sheet is a snapshot at one point in time. This is because income statements provide details on the amount of money made and spent during a period. The income statement essentially answers the following questions: How much money did the company make? How was that money spent? Did the company make a profit? 

The balance sheet, on the other hand, tells you how much the company has in assets, liabilities and shareholder's equity. The balance sheet follows a simple formula:

Asset = Liabilities + Shareholder's equity

Like the name mentions, the figures on the balance sheet must match as any increases or decreases must be offset. Unlike the income statement, it does not provide information on how much money the company has made or lost, it only provides the amount of debt, cash and other assets that the company owns at that point in time. 

While these financial statements are different, both the income statement and balance sheet along with the cash flow statement are still linked and should be used together to determine a more holistic financial picture of a company. 

Income statements: Conclusion

The income statement is a good entry point to understand and evaluate a company's revenue and costs, but it's important to keep in mind that it's not a document that can tell the full story. 

"Financial statements are designed to work as a system and not as stand-alone statements," adds Badolato. "The Income Statement is only one piece in understanding the financial performance of a business. Using one financial statement without the others and other publicly available information — such as the footnotes in a financial filing — would be similar to betting before looking at one's cards."

The frequency can vary, but usually, companies prepare income statements either quarterly or annually. 

An income statement shows a company's financial performance during a specific time frame, whereas a balance sheet shows a company's assets and liabilities at one point. 

Companies release income statements in their financial reports, and you can also find them on the investor relations sections of corporate websites. 

An income statement can display a negative net income, which indicates that a company suffered a loss during a specific period. 

You can use the information on an income statement to calculate key ratios like gross margin, operating margin and earnings per share. 

• Main content

Israel describes a permanent cease-fire in Gaza as a ‘nonstarter,’ undermining Biden’s proposal

TEL AVIV, Israel (AP) — Israel’s prime minister on Saturday called a permanent cease-fire in Gaza a “nonstarter” until long-standing conditions for ending the war are met, appearing to undermine a proposal that U.S. President Joe Biden had announced as an Israeli one.

The statement from Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s office came a day after Biden outlined the plan, and as families of Israeli hostages held by Hamas called for all parties to immediately accept the proposal. A major demonstration in Israel on Saturday night urged the government to act now.

And a joint statement by mediators the U.S., Egypt and Qatar pressed Israel and Hamas, saying the proposed deal “offers a road map for a permanent cease-fire and ending the crisis” and gives immediate relief to both the hostages and Gaza residents.

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But Netanyahu’s statement said that “Israel’s conditions for ending the war have not changed: the destruction of Hamas’ military and governing capabilities, the freeing of all hostages and ensuring that Gaza no longer poses a threat to Israel. Under the proposal, Israel will continue to insist these conditions are met before a permanent cease-fire is put in place.”

In a separate statement, Netanyahu accepted an invitation from U.S. congressional leaders to deliver an address at the Capitol, a show of wartime support for Israel. No date has been set.

Biden on Friday asserted that Hamas is “no longer capable” of carrying out a large-scale attack on Israel like the one by the militant group in October that started the war. He urged Israel and Hamas to reach an agreement to release about 100 remaining hostages, along with the bodies of around 30 more, for an extended cease-fire.

Cease-fire talks halted last month after a push by the U.S. and other mediators to secure a deal in hopes of averting a full-scale Israeli invasion of Gaza’s southern city of Rafah. Israel says the Rafah operation is key to uprooting Hamas fighters responsible for the Oct. 7 attack.

Israel on Friday confirmed its troops were operating in central parts of the city. The ground assault has led around 1 million Palestinians to leave Rafah and thrown humanitarian operations into turmoil. The World Food Program has called living conditions “horrific and apocalyptic” as hunger grows.

Families of hostages said that time was running out.

“This might be the last chance to save lives,” Gili Roman told The Associated Press. His sister, Yarden Roman-Gat, was freed during a weeklong cease-fire in November, but sister-in-law Carmel is still held. “Our leadership must not disappoint us. But mostly, all eyes should be on Hamas,” Roman said.

Families described an aggressive meeting Thursday with Israel’s national security adviser, Tzachi Hanegbi, who told them the government wasn’t ready to sign a deal to bring all hostages home and there was no plan B.

Hanegbi said this week he expects the war to continue another seven months to destroy Hamas’ military and governing capabilities.

Many hostages’ families accuse the government of a lack of will.

“We know that the government of Israel has done an awful lot to delay reaching a deal, and that has cost the lives of many people who survived in captivity for weeks and weeks and months and months,” Sharone Lifschitz said. Her mother, Yocheved, was freed in November but her father, Oded, is still held.

The first phase of the deal proposed by Biden would last for six weeks and include a “full and complete cease-fire,” a withdrawal of Israeli forces from all densely populated areas of Gaza and the release of a number of hostages, including women, older people and the wounded, in exchange for the release of hundreds of Palestinian prisoners.

The second phase would include the release of all remaining living hostages, including male soldiers, and the withdrawal of Israeli forces from Gaza. The third phase calls for the start of a major reconstruction of Gaza, which faces decades of rebuilding from the war’s devastation.

Biden acknowledged that keeping the proposal on track would be difficult, with “details to negotiate” to move from the first phase to the second. Biden said if Hamas fails to fulfil its commitment under the deal, Israel can resume military operations.

Hamas has said it viewed the proposal “positively” and called on Israel to declare an explicit commitment to an agreement that includes a permanent cease-fire, a complete withdrawal of Israeli troops from Gaza, a prisoner exchange and other conditions.

In Deir al-Balah, where many Palestinians have fled following Israel’s assault on Rafah, there was some hope.

“This proposal came late, but better late than never,” said Akram Abu Al-Hasan.

The main difference from previous proposals is the readiness to stop the war for an undefined period, according to analysts. It leaves Israel the option to renew the war and diminish Hamas’ ability to govern, but over time, said Michael Milshtein, head of the Palestinian Studies Forum in Dayan Center at Tel Aviv University.

“It was a very good speech ... it seems that Biden is trying to force it on the Israeli government. He was clearly speaking directly to the Israeli people,” said Gershon Baskin, director for the Middle East at the International Communities Organization.

Also on Saturday, Egypt’s state-run Al-Qahera News said officials from Egypt, the United States and Israel would meet in Cairo over the weekend about the Rafah crossing, which has been closed since Israel took over the Palestinian side in May.

The crossing is a main way for aid to enter Gaza. Egypt has refused to open its side, fearing the Israeli control will remain permanent. Egypt wants Palestinians to be in charge again.

Hamas’ attack on Oct. 7 killed around 1,200 people — mostly civilians — and abducted about 250. More than 36,370 Palestinians have been killed in Gaza by Israel’s campaign of bombardment and offensives, according to Gaza’s Health Ministry. Its count doesn’t differentiate between civilians and combatants.

Associated Press writer David McHugh in Frankfurt, Germany contributed to this report.

“A big statement”: FIFA introduces measures to further protect female players and coaches

Female players and coaches to be provided with additional protections to their well-being

Jill Ellis said that women should not have to juggle their career and children

Protections unanimously endorsed by FIFA Council

Jill Ellis is speaking from personal experience when she talks about protecting the well-being of female players and coaches. The two-time FIFA Women’s World Cup™ winner remembers trying to coach a college team after adopting her three-month-old daughter, and the difficulties of trying to juggle the two roles. “(A football career) shouldn’t be exclusive of being a mum or raising a child, it should be inclusive of that,” she said. “If I didn’t have support around me, I wouldn’t have had the ability to do that and maintain my career.” FIFA, however, has been listening to the concerns of women in the game and, following thorough discussions with key stakeholders and a previous set of landmark reforms , has moved to further protect their well-being by implementing changes to the Regulations on the Status and Transfer of Players (RSTP) that will enter into force on 1 June 2024.

Approved by the FIFA Council in May 2024 , these changes will extend the rights and protections to adoptive parents as well as non-biological mothers. They will also recognise the physical, psychological and social dimensions in the event of an inability to provide employment services due to severe menstruation, or medical complications relating to pregnancy, and member associations will be encouraged to allow female players to have contact with their families while on international duty. “FIFA is committed to implementing a dynamic regulatory framework that is sound and suitable for the increasing needs of female players and coaches,” said FIFA Chief Legal & Compliance Officer Emilio García Silvero. “In order for the game to further flourish, it’s absolutely key that we have a holistic approach towards player well-being, including the legal aspects.”

“As a modern organisation, it’s FIFA’s duty to listen to the main actors and adapt its regulations to the ever more complex dynamics of professional football. We would like to thank all the stakeholders that have contributed to the drafting of these robust regulations, and look forward to seeing them being implemented and positively affecting the lives and careers of women in football.” “I think it’s a big statement,” said Ellis, who led FIFA’s Technical Study Group at the FIFA Women’s World Cup 2023™ and coached the USA to Women’s World Cup titles in 2015 and 2019. “These are big steps and big strides to really normalise the life that we go through as women … that’s what we want to provide now at every level, the club level, the national team level – the opportunity for pro players to have the chance to be mums.”

The steps deliver on important points in Goal 2 of FIFA’s Strategic Objectives for the Global Game: 2023-2027, which describe the organisation’s commitment to exploring and implementing further safeguards for player and coach welfare.

Like Ellis, former Germany international Fatmire Alushi – a FIFA Women’s World Cup winner in 2007 – has first-hand experience of raising children while pursuing a football career. “I appreciate very much FIFA getting involved to protect pregnant women so that they can have a good feeling, enjoy their pregnancy, and can get support during and after the pregnancy,” said the mother of four.

FIFA Chief Football Women’s Officer Dame Sarai Bareman said the new measures recognised that the players are the main stakeholders. “They are the ones who are on the field, who are playing the sport, they’re training hard every day, really sacrificing a lot to entertain the fans and to deliver the beautiful matches that we see,” she said. The measures also recognise that women have different biological make-ups, she said. “When you’re playing sport for a living, and in a professional environment, we have to factor in that the female menstrual cycle can also impact on your ability to deliver within your role. So, it’s important that we protect … those that are affected by their menstrual cycles in a way that it doesn’t put at risk their employment situation with their club and, ultimately, their ability to earn money.”

FIFA introduces measures to further protect female players and coaches

31 May 2024

Bareman welcomed the move to encourage more family contact for national team players. “In a FIFA Women’s World Cup, (a player) can potentially be away from her family for five or six weeks … and that can have a big toll on the player, mentally, but also on the child. “So, encouraging the member associations to make provision or to allow for those mothers and parents to have the children with them during the camp, during the tournament, is a really important step which will support not only female players but all players in our sport.”

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Trump Has Been Convicted. Here’s What Happens Next.

Donald J. Trump has promised to appeal, but he may face limits on his ability to travel and to vote as he campaigns for the White House.

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By Jesse McKinley and Maggie Astor

• May 30, 2024

The conviction of former President Donald J. Trump on Thursday is just the latest step in his legal odyssey in New York’s court system. The judge, Juan M. Merchan, set Mr. Trump’s sentencing for July 11, at which point he could be sentenced to as much as four years behind bars, or to probation.

It won’t stop him from running for president, though: There is no legal prohibition on felons doing that . No constitutional provision would stop him even from serving as president from a prison cell, though in practice that would trigger a crisis that courts would almost certainly have to resolve.

His ability to vote — for himself, presumably — depends on whether he is sentenced to prison. Florida, where he is registered, requires felons convicted there to complete their full sentence, including parole or probation, before regaining voting rights. But when Floridians are convicted in another state, Florida defers to the laws of that state, and New York disenfranchises felons only while they are in prison.

The Trump Manhattan Criminal Verdict, Count By Count

Former President Donald J. Trump faced 34 felony charges of falsifying business records, related to the reimbursement of hush money paid to the porn star Stormy Daniels in order to cover up a sex scandal around the 2016 presidential election.

“Because Florida recognizes voting rights restoration in the state of conviction, and because New York’s law states that those with a felony conviction do not lose their right to vote unless they are incarcerated during the election, then Trump will not lose his right to vote in this case unless he is in prison on Election Day,” said Blair Bowie, a lawyer at the Campaign Legal Center, a nonprofit watchdog group.

Mr. Trump will almost certainly appeal his conviction, after months of criticizing the case and attacking the Manhattan district attorney, who brought it, and Justice Merchan, who presided over his trial.

Long before that appeal is heard, however, Mr. Trump will be enmeshed in the gears of the criminal justice system.

A pre-sentencing report makes recommendations based on the defendant’s criminal record — Mr. Trump had none before this case — as well as his personal history and the crime itself. The former president was found guilty of falsifying business records in relation to a $130,000 payment to Stormy Daniels, a porn star who says she had a brief sexual tryst with Mr. Trump in 2006, in order to buy her silence.

At the pre-sentence interview, a psychologist or social worker working for the probation department may also talk to Mr. Trump, during which time the defendant can “try to make a good impression and explain why he or she deserves a lighter punishment,” according to the New York State Unified Court System.

The pre-sentencing report can also include submissions from the defense, and may describe whether “the defendant is in a counseling program or has a steady job.”

In Mr. Trump’s case, of course, he is applying — as it were — for a steady job as president of the United States, a campaign that may be complicated by his new status as a felon. Mr. Trump will likely be required to regularly report to a probation officer, and rules on travel could be imposed.

Mr. Trump was convicted of 34 Class E felonies, New York’s lowest level , each of which carry a potential penalty of up to four years in prison. Probation or home confinement are other possibilities that Justice Merchan can consider.

That said, Justice Merchan has indicated in the past that he takes white-collar crime seriously . If he did impose prison time, he would likely impose the punishment concurrently, meaning that Mr. Trump would serve time on each of the counts he was convicted of simultaneously.

If Mr. Trump were instead sentenced to probation, he could still be jailed if he were later found to have committed additional crimes. Mr. Trump, 77, currently faces three other criminal cases: two federal, dealing with his handling of classified documents and his efforts to overturn the 2020 election , and a state case in Georgia that concerns election interference.

Mr. Trump’s lawyers can file a notice of appeal after sentencing, scheduled for July 11 at 10 a.m. And the judge could stay any punishment during an appeal, something that could delay punishment beyond Election Day.

The proceedings will continue even if he wins: Because it’s a state case, not federal, Mr. Trump would have no power as president to pardon himself .

Jesse McKinley is a Times reporter covering upstate New York, courts and politics. More about Jesse McKinley

Maggie Astor covers politics for The New York Times, focusing on breaking news, policies, campaigns and how underrepresented or marginalized groups are affected by political systems. More about Maggie Astor

Our Coverage of the Trump Hush-Money Trial

Guilty Verdict : Donald Trump was convicted on all 34 counts  of falsifying records to cover up a sex scandal that threatened his bid for the White House in 2016, making him the first American president to be declared a felon .

Next Steps: The judge in the case set Trump’s sentencing for July 11, and Trump already indicated that he plans to appeal. Here’s what else may happen .

Reactions: Trump’s conviction reverberated quickly across the country and over the world . Here’s what Trump , voters , New Yorkers , Republicans  and the White House  had to say.

The Presidential Race : The verdict will test America’s traditions, legal institutions and ability to hold an election under historic partisan tension , reshuffling a race that has been locked in stasis and defined by a polarizing former president.

Making the Case: Over six weeks and the testimony of 20 witnesses, the Manhattan district attorney’s office wove a sprawling story  of election interference and falsified business records.

Legal Luck Runs Out: The four criminal cases that threatened Trump’s freedom had been stumbling along, pleasing his advisers. Then his good fortune expired .

Connecting the Dots: As rumors circulated of Trump’s reported infidelity, two accounts of women  being paid to stay silent about their encounters became central to his indictment.